#won't happen for a while I think
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so uhhhhhhhh. not to be cryptic and bitchy on main but congratulations to everyone in my messages for like 5 months on being right i guess
#ramble#ughhhhhhhhhhhh ok so#i will delete this later bc idk if this person has tumblr and i genuinely mean no ill will i just need an outside opinion#i vented about it on my close friends story already but i need like. a neutral party#i won't say their name but if you're on other socials you probably know who it is#basically for a while i've been getting messages saying 'this person has hacked your art style' or 'is REDACTED your alt account'#and in the beginning there were like. similarities? but nothing i could really claim and also i don't want to accuse someone of theft#like i don't own any stylistic choices or anything. i've used things from other artists i like. honestly it's kind of flattering#and we are actually really friendly in DMs now and we even joke about it. we message eachother any time we get a comment about it#i made a joke literally 2 weeks ago about how we're two different people i swear#but after adding some Very specific things to my art (like the paper texture/hatching/shiny lighting). they also added them#and i gave them the benefit of the doubt bc i don't like to believe anyone has bad intent with stuff like that. and i've done the same obvs#but recently they dropped some tav lore and it was. basically a panel for panel copy of one of my cyra comics down to the HAND PLACEMENT#and obviously i don't own the Bitch Mother trope or anything but it's just. mmmmm it makes me feel weird#idk it just feels like it's gone a bit far now and i'm not sure what to do about it#like you would think after we became moots they would get scared and stop but i think i was too openly trusting and they just kept going#recently someone on THEIR PATREON thought they were me and they weren't even one of mine (which by itself is funny but. y'know)#i don't want to call anyone out or upset anyone bc it only causes more problems but like. i Know. and idk if they should know that i know#maybe i'm just stupid idk i really trusted that it wasn't happening but it is and i don't know how to feel#hONESTLY I'M JUST MAD THAT I CAN'T DO ANY MORE CYRA LORE NOW BC PEOPLE ARE GOING TO ACCUSE **ME**#also PLEASE do not witch hunt this person i want to deal with this as quietly as possible#i really felt like i was in the twilight zone or just being paranoid so i had to ask
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Hey y'all, do you have any experience with the Visible app and arm band thing? I've been using the app for a month or so, and I think it's helping a little, but I don't have the arm band yet and I'm not sure how big a difference that will make. I think I probably should be tracking my heart rate, but I cannot overstate how much I get rings and bracelets caught on things, especially during flareups. Like getting beltloops caught on door handles but even more so, so I think maybe the arm band will be better for me?
#the person behind the yarn#I think having texts to my phone to say hey. sit down.#would maybe help#because at least this week that's been one of my main problems#not realizing my heart rate is shooting up until it's in the Bad Symptoms Zone#which for me is like. 160s standing still#I meant there is also the moderate symptoms zone (120-140s) but I keep missing when I'm in that zone???#idk why I am not noticing anymore but I am not anticipating getting sensitivity to that back soon#because I was off my meds for two months (because my doc said I didn't have the thing the meds were prescribed for)#not getting into details but last time I had one of these symptoms it took me like a year and a half to get back to baseline#I don't anticipate it taking that long this time because A. I have meds for it and B. I know to eat more salt#but uh. I do anticipate that while I will be feeling waaaay better than I have been in the last two months by like next week#I probably won't be back to what had been my normal for a few months#(last time this happened was the very first time I got sick twelve years ago)
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I have never been more concerned for a JP update from your art than I am seeing a Cheka knowing the context of Leona’s dream.
My bois ok right?????? My sweet nephews ok right??????
well
uhhhh
I'm sure the real one is fine :)
#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 11 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 part 11 spoilers#unfortunately leona's ultimate happy dream did involve his entire family dying tragically. them's the breaks.#(for the record he is a little messed up about this) (he is a little messed up about a lot of stuff)#the context of cheka is that they were going to try to shock leona awake by having him show up#however while styx could provide them with a 3d model based on a bodyscan (which they had for...reasons??) they had no data on his behavior#so he was basically just a little frozen mannequin#(the sprite was not t-posing but in my heart this was happening)#ruggie could kind of pilot him with his magic but it only lasts for a few seconds so he had to keep recasting it with noticeable choppiness#so while we don't get the entire effect due to the limitations of the format#this means that leona was in the middle of let-them-eat-cake'ing a revolution when suddenly#his late nephew bursts jerkily in through the door yelling OJITAN I'M ALIVE AND MY VOICE CHANGED OFFSCREEN#honestly they spent more time thinking of how to explain ruggie's terrible impression of cheka than anything else#how could leona have seen through this brilliant plan so quickly 🤔#man i really did love his horrible dream though#i like him as a character but i wasn't expecting his dream to be the one that got to me like that#love how all the savana dreams were like#jack: what if leona was really cool and my friend :)#ruggie: what if my dad came back and leona created a socialist utopia for me :)#leona: what if i finally got the chance to prove myself except i screwed everything up and everyone hated me and my family was dead#his conversation with kifaji at the end 😭#kifaji in his dream in GENERAL acting as a counterpoint to his phantom like. like!!!! (waves hands)#i just. these guys.#me 4+ years ago: this game looks so dumb i gotta try it. surely i won't become emotionally overinvested in any of this.
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Tim's unternet suit really is the most glaringly obvious hero worship/crush for Dick thing he ever has. in the unternet, where Tim's subconscious creates what he is. that's the suit his brain comes up with? something so clearly derivative of Nightwing? down to the *finger stripes*?
red robin #19
this is gay as hell. the reason Tim can't wear this soul irl is bc the first thing he would do is jerk off in it. and he couldn't handle the embarrassment of Dick seeing how similar it is. if DC ever made this Tim's official suit the first thing they would have to do is make Tim and Dick fuck in it. i'm so close to writing that fic i won't lie.
#batcest#dicktim#timdick#tim drake x dick grayson#this does NOT get the festerings tag it's far too low effort#i'm drunk i rlly should mention that#i need a drunk tag wait#necrotic fermentings#sure that works#this is SO low effort and unserious btw#i did have to google 'tim drake tied up' bc it was important to me i used THAT specific panel for this.#also was important to me his dick was not cropped out#someone dare me to write the fic /j#i'm so serious i'm drunk enough to write a low quality ficlet rn#nothing serious enough to go on ao3 but like if someone reblogged/sent an ask asking for it i'd do it#i've had a shit day tbh it'd bring me joy#all of this is /lh#also the IRONY of this suit happening while dick is batman (i think)#actually was bruce alive for the unternet arc? ignore me i don't know.#and i'm too toasted to check. but batman!dick fucking tim in *this* suit could be fun won't lie#anyway cheers this is so silly.
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Buckle up kids because I'm pissed off and have a few points to make.
Obviously @raeisms doesn't need me to fight her battles for her. That's not what I'm trying to do. She's perfectly capable of sticking up for herself, and she has been, but it's getting ridiculous and I want to speak up about what this is leading to.
Fandom spaces are dying. Pushing people to stop creating is the cause.
That isn't a stretch. It's a fact. Not understanding boundaries or purposefully stepping over them is a massive chunk of the problem. It isn't just here, but this is already such a small community and pushing away artists/authors��people creating things for free with the purpose of enjoyment—is killing it. Artists and authors are, and always have been, the heart of fandom. Without them there is nothing.
Fandom etiquette has been left behind and forgotten. Ages are skewing younger and I don't care if I sound like a silly old millennial for saying that's also part of the problem. There's older people this applies to as well of course, but I've seen so many barging in who just don't understand how this works because there's so little guidance anymore. Again, not just here. It's happening across all platforms to all fandoms and it's terrifying.
What happened to "don't like, don't read" and using filters to curate what you want to see? What happened to thinking for two seconds about whether something you say could be hurtful and then not sending it? What are you trying to prove? I can't stress enough that you are the reason this will all stop existing.
TL;DR if you want to keep this space alive, grow up and learn some fucking manners.
#welcome back to things i've been thinking about for a while but didn't want to stir the pot for no reason#thanks to that anon for fucking up SO BADLY that it pushed me to write this#oh hey additionally. putting “no offence” in an ask doesn't make it not offensive.#it makes you look immature and aware that you're saying something you shouldn't#and before anyone takes the “young people” part the wrong way i am heavily generalising BUT it IS what's happening#the people i'm friends with are lovely and absolutely belong here <3#but lockdowns caused a shift that brought people in who SHOULDN'T be in these spaces. that's just how it is#it REALLY isn't hard to be nice. you don't need to voice your opinion on everything. shut up. leave if you don't like it#anon hate will always be a thing. it's unrealistic to say it won't be. but don't be a part of it#i know this probably won't get very far but it's been pretty cathartic thank you for your time#chewy ramblings
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#carlos sainz#autumn posts#loml!!! ❤️💫#hi everyone!!!! sorry I've been gone for a while!!#I missed SO much OMGGG so much has happened!! 🥺 I'll be reblogging to catch up on Carlos' modeling adventures and Enchanté rosé today + more#I have some saved Milan moments too and tewe stek moments that now feel so long ago haha!! omg the gp is NEXT WEEK??#😭❤️ so hyped#ahhh tbh I sped through dts just to see it for myself#so reductive and frustrating on so many levels#some lovely moments though and thanks to everyone for capturing them in lovely clips and beautiful gifs ❤️#I'll focus on the good but wow... very frustrating editing#anyways I won't ramble here much!!!#as I'm want to do only always#sending everyone lots of well wishes ❤️#and ahhh this video for these gifs#his hand in his hair and his laugh and the way he says he was thinking 'wild things'#😵💫💦✨ good god#he's barefoot and pregnant in my mind palace's kitchen rn wearing only that ill fitting Williams apron#I shall stop there 🙂↕️✨
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personally i feel there's some descriptors you can't give yourself; you have to earn them. you can't call yourself a chaos gremlin, your peers and associates must bequeath that upon you after a certain number of Incidents. you can't decide you give off the vibes of a secret immortal trapped in human skin, you must behave strangely and anachronistically until your friends get suspicious and tease you and try to laugh it off while squinting nervously. there are rituals (peer review) to follow
#shitpost#here's a mild take i've had in the back of my head for a while#obligatory this is not a very serious thing and if you choose to call yourself a chaos gremlin. well. i can't stop you#and nothing bad will happen#it's just like. i won't believe you until i see peer review#you can just say that because you think it's fun#and nothing wrong with fun! but i simply won't believe you#does this make sense#again. personal opinion on an unimportant topic
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And because I recently read the Chocolate Box...Please enjoy one of the only things I feel like the show did right with this particular story...
Poirot looking super dapper in his Belgian police uniform:
The cut of this uniform is very flattering on him, I must say...especially with the way it accentuates his chest, his waist, and his ''''''''seat''''''''
And I love the design on the collar/sleeves. Very fancy/official
also. please look at his very silly official hat
Gotta say. Hugh Fraser may have been the eye candy of this show, but. David Suchet sure knows how to be pretty, too
#I may. just. have a thing for men in uniform#that might be what is going on here#add to that the fact that I am pansexual and it creates the recipe for 'oh no everyone's hot' disease#Although.... Funny enough. With apologies to Philip Jackson. Inspector Japp is. not my type#so I suppose it would be more accurate to say it creates the recipe for 'oh no *almost* everyone is hot' disease#anyway speaking of uniforms. and because I am a nerd. I think it would be funny to draw Poirot in a Starfleet uniform.#Although it would have to be one of the 2330s ones because any of the other eras just wouldn't do his sense of style justice#Although if I were to be real. I don't see him actually *being* in Starfleet. Like maaybe? he was a long time ago and now he's '''retired''#I DO see him as an El Aurian ambassador that gets called in for investigations a LOT#(and let's be real him being El Aurian would certainly explain him just straight up not aging in canon)#Anyway maybe he gets called in all the time because Admiral Japp can't get anything done without him#And he meets Hastings because Japp calls him in to investigate some happenings aboard Captain Hastings' ship#And Ambassador Poirot may or may not be a thorn in Captain Hastings' side for a VERY brief time#until he clears Capt. Hastings' good name and enlists his help in the investigation. and he just slips right past Hastings' defences#Like. 'oh you put up walls so that people can't get to know you? what walls? I didn't see any'#And by the end Captain Hastings starts to think.#'oh no. I think. I think I like him. Oh NO. I think I REALLY LIKE him. OH NO'#And the Investigation is over and Hastings is having a crisis like. 'how do I ask him not to leave. Am I allowed to do that?'#'But I'm the captain I shouldn't be asking him to stay. Wait but I'm the captain so technically I'm the only one who *CAN* ask him to stay'#'*internal screaming*'#But then maybe Ambassador Poirot decides on his own that he'd like to stick around on Hastings' ship for a while. Act as a 'consultant'.#And Hastings is relieved like 'oh thank god. I won't have to say goodbye to him. wait. but like. not because. I want him or anything. what?#and First Officer Lemon is giving him the KNOWINGEST LOOK OF ALL TIME#(and. side note. we all know that First Officer Felicity Lemon would run THE tightest ship ever. So you can jot that down)#wow I accidentally unexpectedly made an AU in the tags again. Well. That was fun. Thanks for reading if you stuck around#5.6 The Chocolate Box#watching poirot#poirot#Hercule Poirot#agatha christie’s poirot
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You know I really love how Squid Game pushes it's scenes so far that it makes you feel that sense of urgency and distress that the characters feel. It can easily happen that if a scene goes on for too long for the purpose of keeping you in suspense that it then gets boring or annoying. But that never happens in Squid Game. Some scenes are incredibly long, especially the games, I know I got so stressed out watching Dalgona for the first time because the scene just would not end. But that's exactly what the length of that scene is supposed to do for you. Often when you are feeling a lot of anxiety or are in a moment of intense stress everything around you can feel slower. Like time takes longer to pass. Especially when you have a time limit and still need to concentrate and not make any mistakes. And in my opinion Squid Game conveys that perfectly. The games, they drag on even though a game itself is often not that long. Red Light, Green Light has a timelimit of 5 minutes. That's so little!! But they make you feel every damn second of it while watching. I'm not sure if the actual scene was longer than 5 minutes, but it probably was. But they don't cut out stuff. Often when things happen over a span of time in shows and movies they don't add in parts where not much happens and just cut to the part that's interesting again. But in Squid Game because it is life or death and because of how anxiety can make you feel like time is passing slower every moment for the players feels so long and every moment is important. And that's what I really love in how they made the show. Because yes scenes may be going on for a long time. But they're showing you in the most realistic way possible how the players experience these moments. Add to that that there's almost no added in music like pop songs and in general there's not that much background music either. Because it would just take you out of the intensity of the scene, seperate you from the character's point of view. So a lot of scenes are very quiet in the way that every sound you hear is also a sound that a character inside the show is hearing too. Squid Game, just in the way it's made and filmed and in how long scenes take, is made to be so realistic and wants you to feel as closely as possible to what the characters themselves are feeling too. I really love this way of making a show
Btw I made this post because I realized that this doesn't just happen in the games but also outside of them. When Gi-hun is searching for the recruiter we get a montage of all of them searching, the days passing and Gi-hun ripping off pages from his calendar, but even here that montage takes longer than a montage to show the passage of time usually takes. Because it is long. They can't show us every day of Gi-hun just searching again and again but they can sure make us feel like we've just watched that. And you start out watching it thinking "oh they're gonna show us them finding him in like the next 30 second" but they don't. And there's one point where you think the montage is over but then it isn't. And you get frustrated watching it because "why can't they find the recruiter already?? This is taking so long" and that's Exactly how Gi-hun is feeling in that moment. They drag it out, they show you so much of everybody just searching and days passing and they Want you to be annoyed, because then you're really getting it. You're really getting how fucking long it took to find the Recruiter and what a painfully and annoyingly slow and exhausting process it was. And that's just another way that this show is so damn amazing!!! Because it's so fucking good at making you feel exactly what a character is feeling!! They're not just telling you "oh yeah this took long but they did it", no. They're Showing you exactly how long it took.
And suddenly we've arrived at one of my favorite story telling rules which is "show, don't tell" and I think Squid Game applies this rule really really well
(I have more rambly thoughts under the cut that have a little bit to do with this post but focus on another part of it. Also if the structure of this post feels weird that's probably because I had many different thoughts and just kinda put them where I felt they fit in best so idk, I have a hard time rereading stuff I've written so sorry if the flow of it feels off)
Tbh I think it might also be a little bit why the show appeals to so many people and why so many people go and participate in Squid Game the Challenge or that Mr Beast shit. With the way Squid Game is made and filmed to be so immersive it has the power to give the viewer that same rush of adrenaline that the players inside the show feel. But us viewers sit at home and we know we are safe and so we want more of that adrenaline. It's maybe kind of like Bungee Jumping. You get that rush, that thrill of "holy shit I'm Falling", but you know you're safe. You're doing something you would otherwise only experience right before death. And obviously that is what Squid Game the Challenge is like, because being in it you know if this was real, as in real the way it is real in the show, then you'd be very close to death at any given moment. But you're not. Because you don't die if you fail. But you still get that thrill because of that association with death without actually having to be afraid of it. And that's when it gets fun. And while I don't think that this was intended the show is partly also as popular as it is, Because just by watching it you get a little bit of that adrenaline that's fun for you because you know you're safe
Also another thought about the 'show, don't tell' point of it all. There's not that much talking happening in Squid Game. Like people obviously speak to each other but often there are also long periods of time where nobody is speaking at all. But that doesn't matter because this show is so good at showing us everything that is important without much words needed. I'm pretty sure you could watch it without sound or subtitles and still get most of the plot of it. And that's really impressive
#i think a lot of media is afraid of being boring#so they shorten scenes that take longer to make them not feel so long#it's kind of a relief for the viewer#yes this character went through those incredibly tense 10 minutes but don't worry it'll be only 3 minutes for you#you get to see the star some of the middle to show you that stiff actually happens and then the end where they are finally done#but don't wory we won't make you sit through ten minutes of quiet just watching this character trying to accomplish a task without much els#happening#that would be boring#any then you are the viewer are nicely out#but#those actions scenes oh you'll get 30 minutes of action with people beating each other up when realistically they would have probably only#been able to fight for maybe like 5 minutes before they're done#i like that too about squid game#there's not much hand to hand combat (beside the lights out extra games) but when there is it takes a realistic amount of time#and i also feel like (i've not actually been in any fights like that lol but i'm assuming) fighting always goes by really fast in like#how you percieve it#you don't have time to think you just do and you move and then it's over and you don't remember half of it because it happened so fast#especially compared to those high stakes moments where you have to be really careful and be smart while still being threatened with death#if you make one mistake#that Feels a whole lot longer then#anyways idk where else i want to go i just really like how long scenes are in squid game without ever being boring#especially Because it is to convey time perception and the stress a character feels properly#lea's random thoughts#squid game#squid game analysis#also i feel like i just understood 'show don't tell' on a deeper level#cause while they still only visually showed us the time passing#if they had done that in a way where for examply gihun is only crossing of days on his calendar until the day where they find the recruiter#then that still kind of would have been just 'tell' because they're saying 'look time has passed' only without words#but showing it to us (which is what they did) is actually making us feel like time has passed
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Hearing hoping nothing she does impacts her later/those drugs don't fuck her system up too bad
#m!ik#clara valac#Also obviously that she the last to be revealed what her evil cycle looks like! Wow!#Honestly I do hope it not her evil cycle is a trigger to Azz thinking his feelings towards iruma n clara r different™️#I do like the ship but I very much get ehh at it when it feels like it trying to pair the two off to lessen their friendship w iruma/#N idk how I would feel that azz feeling towards iruma that r akin to ameri will later been deem strictly platonic or only of worship#N any gayness that Azz had would disappear which I won't be happy w n sour my opinions#I don't think that will happen but I never know n while I don't think I will mind that much cuz it doesn't erase the love trio#I do feel iffy if it set off series of either Clara or azz being awkward with each other being like 'what r these feelings' ect#Also I think I'm probs gonna colour alot of panels from the ch#I did enjoy the chapter v much up till the last page where I'm like 😬
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funny little comic i did back during spring break that i finally cleaned up now that its.. [checks watch] summertime. whatever! it's spring break somewhere!
#tol jamie#tol santiago#tol comic#one thing about me is iiii fuckin looove seasonal outfits and i loooooooove summer/tropical fits especially yaaaaaaaayayayayayay#as always love to put these guys in a SITUATION and theyve known each other a while so? this is feasible to me i think#jamie weird cutoffs and tropical shirt santi covering his chest with anything he can get his hands on#DUDE THEY CAN PLAY BEER PONG ITLL BE EPIC ACTUALLY YALL EVER SEEN THOSE BEER PONG POOL TABLES#LIKE INFLATABLE ONES YOU CAN PUT IN THE POOL#full disclosure. ive never drank. when me and my friends did it we filled the cups with different sodas. still tho#THESE GUYS CAN THOUGHHH#idk if santi would actually i think he would be like jamie what if we slip and fall and crack our heads on the poolside :(#and jamie would be like haha oh santi don't worry about it! that won't happen ^_^ )!#then he almost drowns like 3 different times THAT night#mari.png
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ingellvar must have so many strange off-putting little personal habits in their day to day life that they don't even realize come across as weird, especially if they haven't ever dated outside of the watchers much. in rye's specific case I think lucanis has a capacity for such immaculate 'sure my life is already so fucking weird this might as well happen' energy that I believe he'd be able to roll with the punches admirably given the time, but it really would be a situation like

(what was going on there was that rook was placing down some experimental wards, by the way, it's what he does to calm down before bed and if he wakes during the night. what with the necropolis itself being a liminal space of lf sorts on a cosmic scale, watchers take the additional liminal space between wakefulness and dreaming extremely seriously b/c they know there are things drifting through that would just love to get their foot/tentacle/conceptual spores in that particular half-ajar door that should not be allowed inside. or outside, I suppose, depending on your point of view. rook and lucanis are also experimenting with whether solid wards can help any with lucanis' weird post-spite dreams even if they can't do anything for the more mundane ptsd ones. third reason because in my worldstate they still live in the lighthouse after the game: unless gently dissuaded wisps will sometimes drift by while you're asleep and hover over your face curiously as they sense your mind doing stuff in the fade, and no one likes waking up on an eldritch sneeze with a well-meaning yet terrified wisp zooming about the room. important watcher novice 101 lessons.
blessed mental image of rye cross-legged on the floor, barefoot in his PJs with his hair down and no makeup, peaceably tracing out elaborate geometric shapes that somehow make your eyes scared when you look at them* while lucanis sits on the bed and reads out loud to both him and spite and occasionally sneaks some carnal looks at rook's fully unleashed curly hair and bare wrists & throat...... okay I think I've found the thing that will help me through the day thank you for coming on this journey with me)
*what is the paint he's using made out of and why is it such a deeply unsettling colour? don't worry about it! :) patented mostly well-meaning yet also borderline condescending mortalitasi hand wave of 'don't worry your sweet little non-nevarran head about it we both know you don't actually want to know. do not ask questions lest you learn the answers, especially if you're going to be annoying at me and freak out about it. let the things man was not meant to know stay unknown. unknown by you I mean I'm built different'
#*at myself through gritted teeth* good things or feelings are very much not happening right now but they DO exist and they are possible#I need you to take this on faith rn because I sure as fuck don't have any proof but source: just trust me i guess#think about spite wide-eyed listening to lucanis read while lucanis absently strokes rye's hair. I'm not sure if then you'll feel better#but it's worth a shot right. better track record than with anything else#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#oc: Ellaryen Ingellvar#lucanis dellamorte#rook x lucanis#rookanis#rye has only had one relationship with a non-watcher before and he didn't sleep over much in that one case#and also that was shitty anaxas ex-bf who liked having a pet mortalitasi but not to be reminded that said mortalitasi#was actually pretty threateningly powerful and not just an accessory for him. I don't think rye would have done much real#necromancy around him because he was in the 'pls love me love me love me I can be anything you want just don't go' mode#so he has never had to consider what his normal bedtime routine looks like to an outsider before haha#I wrote out a whole extra rookanis thing in the tags here but I'm forcing myself to make it a proper post at some point#because while I do not have the energy to examine it right now I keep writing novels in the tags because proper posts make me nervous#my brain going 'okay you can write the sincere thing. but only if you kind of hide it somewhere so it doesn't count#if I tuck it away sufficiently that means I'm not being annoying#and people won't be mad at me' (*sigh* okay what the fuck is that about. add that to the mountain of things that need unpacking#at some point you're not so tired the very thought of starting makes you nauseous)#what if everyone will think I'm stupid and cringe and pathetically earnest. on the cringe and pathetically earnest site#the only thing more unbearable than saying blorbo things in public is not getting to say blorbo things as they boil up within my skull#and I cannot seem to write fiction right now for neither love nor money so my normal outlet is clogged up#then... the power of the tag rant to make you forget yourself in the glorious rush of getting to say blorbo shit 'unperceived'.#anyway. what do you think spite would pick for them to read. that's a much happier place to rest the mind and I'd like to go there pls lol
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You always hide such good things in the tags to your meta 😭❤️ I really feel the part where Hans can’t stay as part of the nobility after what he’s been through. I honestly hope the game would give us a faking his own death (for historical accuracy) but living away from everything with Henry.
I talk about that a ton in my longer post about Hans' relationship with the nobility but it killssssss meeeeee the idea that there really is no going back for him. The disillusionment can never be undone. He's seen what it could be like and he wants it so badly he starts considering alternatives if only Henry so much as nudges him in that direction. And mind you, that's not a player choice! Henry does that all on his own. Because he knows Hans and he sees him for who he is and what he wants/needs. The things that Hans is so well-practiced at denying himself 🥲
#hansry#kcd#kcd2 spoilers#tam talks#kingdom come deliverance#AND I KNOW I always feel compelled to whisper extra stuff on my posts in the tags#like if I put it here maybe when people reblog they won't know I put it here...#like whispers I prefer the running away ending but no one needs to know that about me#esp since I know that is a less than popular option for a lot of people#I went into my hansry fic wanting to leave it open bc I know that a lot of people got shit for doing that#and then hans just wasn't having it and I had to be like FINE I guess I'll find a way to make him happy while making everyone else happy to#but you shouldn't have to!!!#anyway yeah it bums me out that people judge others for preferring a happy ending over 'historical accuracy'#like you really think no historical queers ran away???#can you even imagine if you had grown up in 1403 always feeling different and weird#and while other people were off kissing the people they were supposed to#you wanted to kiss someone else entirely in a way you've only heard spoken of in whispers alongside the word sin#and then you hear that there are places like florence that are dens of debauchery where such sin is common#I think I would run and never turn back#especially if you're like hansry and you have this other person that you want to protect above all else#SEE THIS IS HOW THE TAGS HAPPEN#THIS IS EXACTLY HOW THEY HAPPEN
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Okay another weird question for y'all: What's the least concerning way to tell someone why you are sitting/laying on the floor in public, if the reason is "my POTS is acting up and if I stayed standing up I might pass out, I'll be fine as long as I stay here until my heart rate comes down"
#the person behind the yarn#it's been a long time since I had my heart rate hit quite that number in public#but today it got up into the high 150s#as I was sorta half sitting half leaning on the tailgate of my mom's truck in her driveway#as she went to the backyard to grab something and I was like ah. too high#better sit down on the ground so if I fall it won't be far#but then I was like. sitting on her driveway#sorta half lounging on her driveway#because I didn't want to get my hair directly on the concrete but I also didn't want to fall over#so it sorta looked like I fell out of the back of the truck onto the driveway#I was fine! I'd just overdone it standing still as soon as I sat down for a while my heart rate went way down#but uh. I realized I don't have a script for if it happens even more in public than my mom's driveway#and like. it will. I should have a short blurb prepared ahead of time because I can't think well when my blood pressure is low enough#for me to need surprise floor time. like. if I need the floor time unexpectedly I can't also be thinking of solutions to problems
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Posting this because tomorrows my first day of high school!! :3


(Had to change it a bit cause I forgot a line so if you think it's difficult nuh uh you're seeing things)
#I'm really scared#either because I'm heading to high school or because it's been a while since I've been to school (autistic)#probably a little bit of both#hopefully we won't do like anything for the first week#probably so because it's happening in the middle of the week (Wednesday)#if they give me hw on the first week istg/j...../hj#I can't wait to see my one friend cause that's the only friend who's actually going to the same hs as me!! :3#anyways actual tags#honkai star rail#honkai star rail argenti#argenti honkai star rail#hsr argenti#honkai star rail boothill#boothill honkai star rail#hsr#hsr boothill#argenthill#argenti x boothill#boothill x argenti#I mean I'm tagging it as Argenthill but you can think of it with any other characters
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my absolute favourite is when a narrative is defined by the absence of something or someone. it makes me go insane every time. i love it when a story feels like a fragile layer of ice over an abyss in which dark shapes are silently moving
#shirley jackson hangsaman did this so well#something terrible happens to the protagonist; we don't get to see it and she won't tell us what it was (though we can guess)#but it informs her behaviour and personality from that point onwards in a way that kind of describes the shape of it#like a photographic negative. an outline drawn around the edge of a void#it's not my favourite SJ novel but i did think about it for a long while after
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