#worst 7 months of my life >:(((
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Ok I got this reply about how we actually know so little about Arnold despite how much we've learned about him by @wondering-lazer and I would like to thank them because now I get to rant about this (I tried to reply but there was too much I wanted to say so I'm just making it a post)
Arnold is the most interesting character in the novel for me.
The way he is written is actually so freaking interesting because the story is from Rishe's pov most of the time so even if Arnold is being honest with her we only learn about the things he's willing to tell her. We slowly learn about him (the past with his father and siblings, the truth about his mother) and about his plans (or more like the plans he has for each arc), only because those are the things he decides to be open about with Rishe.
In truth Arnold is still an enigma. We know he loves Rishe it's obvious, but why did he fall for her so quickly because I simply will never believe Arnold can be reduced to the "She's interesting" trope. I am a firm "Arnold remembers the loops" believer so that would make sense but he never interacted much with Rishe in all the past loops so still, him falling for her so fast doesn't make sense. (actually I have a whole other theory about this but I need to finish vol 6 first to see if I learn anything new before I post that)
Also we know Arnold is not a great guy™, like sure he's the best and we love him, and he is genuinely a good guy, but he can be every bit of a villain he claims he is. We still don't know what pushed him to actually stage a coup and kill 7tlhis very evil psychotic maniac of a DNA donor which richly deserved it, but most importantly why he started to stage war in all those different kingdoms.
But he did stage war and he did kill thousands and even now he has show moments of the same kind of cruelty as the Emperor Arnold Hein of the past. Just as Rishe has deemed, we need to find the actual reason why Arnold finally snapped in the past loops to actually fully understand Arnold.
And still there are so many things left unanswered. What are his future goals now that Rishe has intervened? What has he asked Raul to look for in secret and keeping it hidden from Rishe? Does he actually remember the past loops?
There is still so much we have yet to learn about him, the things we know are just the tip of the iceberg and the day we finally get the full Arnold lore is the day I will sleep in peace.
#Amekawa-sensei give me a chapter from Arnold's pov AND MY LIFE IS YOURS!!#i'm planning on actually finally starting vol.6 as soon as I catch up with tcf because it has been sitting there for a few months now since#i downloaded it lol I'm sorry arrishe I was busy😭😭😭#arnold hein#arrishe#7th time loop: the villainess enjoys a carefree life married to her worst enemy!#7th time loop#loop 7 kaime no akuyaku reijō wa#ループ7回目の悪役令嬢は、元敵国で自由気ままな花嫁生活を満喫する#7tl#manga#light novel
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anyone else hear that ominous blink gone?? no?? just me??

i spent way too long editing this bye
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Hinge presents an anthology of love stories almost never told. Read more on https://no-ordinary-love.co
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HIII KITH AND KIN !!!!!! i'm finally officially rebranding myself as squirrel, just as god intended. (i <3 squirrels)

if anybody wants to ask me abt this character i would love u forever~~ :333333 (read as: in my first draft of this post, i rambled about him for way too long, then subsequently got embarrassed and deleted it all LOL)
more squirrel related screaming in the tags if you are interested >:3333 ok bye i hope you're doing well bye !!!
#squirrel posting#<-if you want to filter out any future gushing over squirrels lol#I LOVE SQUIRRELS MAN#my profile picture on all my personal accounts is the first google image search when you look up grey squirrel#instagram? squirrel. discord? squirrel. steam? squirrel.#i lived in a city devoid of squirrels for 7 months a couple years back#worst 7 months of my life >:(((#(thankfully i have awesome friends who would send me pictures of squirrels :))#(btw nothing against hatsune mitsurugi ive just been meaning to squirrel-ify myself for weeks now)#im honestly surprised ive managed to not mention squirrels on here at all#gray squirrel#grey squirrel#squirrel#how many more ways can you tag squirrel#SQUIREEELLL#would you guys be surprised if i told you i have doodled some of the ace attorney characters as squirrels#heheheh#pfp !!#okart#dnd character#artists on tumblr
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uni: complete

#finished my dissertation about to hand it in a few days ahead of schedule#still trying to navigate the consequences of burnout and ongoing mental health crisis but thank fuck this is a weight off my shoulders#the worst 7 months of my adult life are over! im exhausted! im worn out! im physically and emotionally run ragged but im FREE#still going to be patchy in terms of being around online because im trying to figure some stuff out but. anyways! update i guess.#your boy (me) is hopefully graduating with a BA(hons) in art history soon yaay everyone say yay#laurel.txt
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i've literally been non stop studyinf for a week i can physically feel my entire body shutting down. im not making it out of this fr
#4 exams this week 2 exams in one day tmrw. jm literally about todie#ive been like full body shaking for the past few hrs but the grind never stops. i gotta finish this#the way I've been studying for just this one exam 24/7 for 3 full days now and im still not close to done#i usually pull all nighters before exams but i dont think i can do that here coz like. my body is legit going to give out#not posting this to get advice or anything i know this is bad and i should sleep it's just a life update#life update: bad👍 but i'll survive#probably the worst ive ever felt while studying tho. what i get for exammaxxing#we get ~2 months to take our exams and im taking all of them in less than 2 weeks instead coz i#want my summer to be completely free. so I'll pay the price now but it's gonna be sooo worth it. god. please#barking
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...
#when your boomer mother looks you in the eyes and says 'charlie. just freeze your eggs and get the hysterectomy. its not worth the risk'#damn.#see the thing is i dont actually want one? not because i plan on birthing children thats just never been something i wanted#but i realized the other day like. theyve already fucked over all the kids on hormones theyre gonna come for us next#when i was sick i went off my T for a couple months due to ins. issues#i had one period and it was the worst pain ive experienced in my adult life!#if they take the T and i go back#im afraid i might kill myself. like i want to live but cptsd and cdepression are illnesses i cant make go away#im scared if they make me do that low i'll do something i cant take back#...so surgery.#i dont want this surgery#but the fact that i explained this to my mother and she.... said i should do it#this is the woman who like 7 years ago would wince or shudder every time i brought up the top surgery lol#so many thoughts and feelings#gotta get going while i still can i guess
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still trying to process my grandma passing away earlier in the week and just now found out that my dad was diagnosed with throat cancer. I hope he managed to catch it early, it sounds like his doctor's are deciding what the best action to take is.
#[static]#cancer is my Worst Nightmare truly ... he's the first one in the family to get it somehow#even with everyone on my mom's side being Heavy smokers (like a pack a day sometimes)#that being said it's another one of those family relationships that makes any sort of news difficult to process#I don't know what to do or say or how to feel about it besides basic human empathy that one would express during something like this#because the truth is I *don't* know my dad he was in my life from age 3-4? maybe 5?#and then i saw him randomly through out the rest of it every 6 months-4 years depending on if he'd show up#so while i'm obviously worried for him and sent him a message#im also grappling with 'does he want me to reach out' & 'am i doing this the right way' for a person i have blood ties to but dont know wel#like i've seen him twice in the last 7 years that's about how deep our relationship is as family#I used to want something more with him but I couldn't handle his flakiness and for awhile it seemed like he wanted to be around more#but his actions are always different from his words#anyways this is a long way of saying that my related-family dynamics are so confusing to me and make it hard to process anything
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I just want to feel appreciated 😞
#esther shrieks*#heterosexual men are the worst#there is infact a downside of being a not demanding girlfriend#out here crying on 1 year anniversary like a bitch because i was left on radio silent the whole day followed by Me calling him and remindin#which just after hearing “should not have expected anything from u at all” was followed by “my exams are approaching” (legit 2 months away)#fact that it's VACATIONS and he's been at home for 7 days studied Nothing just makes you think. does he think im an idiot#but obv#i am just tired#my exams are NEXT month bitch you don't see me using that as an excuse to ignore u the whole fucking day#it's just too much#he better make up for it but honestly at this point im just not interested#go fuck yourself with your excuses#like why aren't you excited and happy you have me as a girlfriend lmao#why are you never appreciative about me ever why do i always have to beg and argue why Regular Texts are important#your montage with “you are the best gift in my life” that you made in 10 minutes after i cried my eyes out does not feel anything at all#i would have been happier if you had at least texted me a few hearts or just any text at all the entire day#this caption would have all i ever wanted if it was sent in the morning/afternoon#literally i do not ask anything more than just fucking acknowledge appreciate and love me what the hell#now what should i do with this montage? thank you?
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i swear i post things on here and my mutuals read them and are just like wtf is your life.
#i have 7 different plot points going on right now#having the worst month of my life hallmark guy is in my life again#imdb jkterf drama#vampire posting thirsting over porter posting#tummy ache posting#like i am a soap opera my self
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taught my 6 year old sister the H-O-T-T-O-G-O and she tried to teach it to her kindergarten teacher😭😭😭 girl you can not go around repeating everything we do/say at home everywhere you go I thought we went through that
#one time she sang vampire by olivia rodrigo in a grocery store#the price of growing up as the youngest child with at least a 7 year age gap with all her siblings#like man i cuss constantly and it wasn't that much of a problem until like a few months ago#because if my 12 yo sister goes around saying “fuck” and “shit” that's fine imo#IF MY 5 YEAR OLD (at the time) SISTER DOES THAT ON THE OTHER HAND#girl also has an awful sleep schedule#she goes to sleep waaaaay too late for her age#worst of all she looks up to me so much#which makes a lot of sense as i'm her older sister#but i'm not a good role model. i don't know how to life.#i also don't like dealing with children and she's only an exception sometimes#i hate being responsible#especially for anyone who isn't me#ughhhhhhh when will the day i stop typing ; instead of ' come
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always fun to remind myself of the side effects of my thyroid meds
#the first time i treated my thyroid my endo was like ‘i havent had a patient who had this happen for a while so im due for one’ THANKS MAN#personal#im just waiting for it to hurry up and work. my health has PLUMMETED in the last week or so#im so sick and i can’t DO ANYTHING. including SLEEP. even if i was getting enough good sleep i was be exhausted but i’m not so.#the energy’s doing Great#and i’m so hungry all the time but also nauseous so all food is unappealing#genuinely have no idea how i made it through years 7-10 undiagnosed. no wonder i ended up with such a severe phobia of going to bed????????#i don’t have to worry about routine right now so it’s not as stressful (just horrible because i’m so tired) but i COULDNT SLEEP back then#im just relieved that this time it was found through a routine check rather than me getting a test because of symptoms#usually i test when my anxiety gets really bad in a specific way#but my anxiety isn’t bad this time. no panic attacks and also no migraines. those are all usually the worst to deal with#so comparatively this isn’t even a particularly bad episode?/relapse?/flare?#still more sick than i’ve been in……..years?#im not sure if covid was better or worse. but it was only really bad for a week#this’ll be worse overall because it’ll last a lot longer#hopefully only a month or two but that’s still a few months of my life that just vanish. cool!!!!!!!!!!!#and there wasn’t even a notable event to trigger it this time. first time was whooping cough and subsequent times have been things like—#starting uni and then the last 2 years of uni where i took 10 units in one year then overworked myself doing my thesis#im SLIGHTLY worried that maybe i’ve developed rheumatoid arthritis and that set it off because it’s also autoimmune#i should see my gp soon to get a general antibody test. my joint have been so bad it’s been hard to walk for quite a few months#idk man it all sucks. but for now at least i have my white blood cells (even if they’re literally the problem lmao)
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Hinge presents an anthology of love stories almost never told. Read more on https://no-ordinary-love.co
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Christ ❤
#i have been having the worst month of my life#im a system i have ptsd etc etc#lately ive been struggling with emotional flashbacks (which feel like hell) to a time where the previous host-#-was in charge.#we have all felt so dysphoric and confused and weird and it has been nonstop 24/7 anxiety and ruminating and intrusive thoughts#i woke up this morning and felt normal and like myself for once and now im like Jesus Christ#im so glad we only live once bc i cannot do this again
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I'm happy that my chronic pain and I have been living more in harmony as of late
#It has been four months since I have had a need-to-take-multiple-sick-days-and-lay-down flare#I still get flares but they are more manageable and I am better at recognizing the signs now to take preemptive steps#I am happy that my chronic pain is allowing me to work ohy#it's also a combination of things that I do#like I have been stretching 5-7 hours a week for over two years now#I have worked on my sleep hygiene. I take multivitamins. I walked 3.5 km at least three times a week#so what I do can help but not control it completely. and so we have learned to live more in harmony#I realized weightlifting 4 times a week (2 x upper body 2x lowet body) increased the frequency + duration + intensity of my flares#also putting more than 60% in my weight lifting also contributed to it#when I did that workout regimen for 4 months I then had the worst flare of my life. contemplating MAID kind of flare#However I have learned I can workout. I just weightlift my upper body once a week and lower body once a week. I have an optional core#workout too if I am up for it focusing on functional aspects of core strenth (leg raises + planks + side planks + farmer carries)#I only workout to 60% mac#I also used to walk 7 km 5 times a week but that made my pain significantly worse#I adjusted my workout schedule and intensity and now I can sustainably do it#the stretching is both preventative + proactive because it can help reduce the chance of a flare. and if it is a bad pain day? Stretching#distracts me from the pain#When I make smoothies I make 6 at a time and freeze 3 to 4. The chances of me being able to make 6 smoothies three times a week is very low#However making smoothies once a week? that is more likely. I don't romanticize it. it is a part of my mundane routine that makes life easier#for me#I have been drinking 2-3 L of water a day for years to prevent other health conditions my family is predisposed to#I have built up things that work with my chronic pain and flares#The main thing I am focusing on now is ensuring I get 100 g of protein +25-30 of fibre at least five times a week#I have also been working on developing “comfort” evening/activities if it is a bad pain day.#This usually entails heated wheatbags + comfort movie + one day baths again. I also will make a nest and curl up in my bed in the darkness.#Also I have my Catharsis playlist too. At some point I would like to get CBD oil too#So it is a mixture of both I have put in a lot of work + also my chronic pain is being kind right now (and my prescribed meds help)#It also helps only having to clean dishes after 2 people as well and only being aware of 1 person where I live. Having another person live#with me I realized stressed me out the few times I have because I feel like I constantly have to put a face/mask on + I could never truly#relax in the place I live because I was just too aware at all times. I become too aware + hyperfocused/hypervigilant and I can't truly relax
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Happy new year everyone ♥️
#2024 was arguably one of my worst years#with more downs than ups#a lot of reality checks#so#I’ve given myself 7 months to make the life I want#here’s to hope#here’s to work#here’s to a better and free life#with happiness and laughter and friends#and financial stability#divspeaks
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Pj party for the gang <3

[BG3 PRINTS] - [COMMISSIONS]


(Please don't spoil me act 3, I've still not got around to play it-)
Everytime I go to camp to clock in for the night, and a good 4 out of 6 of these fuckers go to sleep wearing *leather* outfits- I understand it from a 'this is a video game of course they don't change clothes to go sleeping' perspective..... But on the other hand I slept once in leather pants and that was one of the worst experiences of my life, so to think these people do it voluntarily everynight- freaks. All of them.
So I gave them pyjamas :D that was a lot of fun ! Also I like when characters have a more diverse builds and sizes, so I killed two birds w one stone and drew what the gang looks like in my heart <3 and of course I made a quick little line up !

A lot of yapping about the pj choices and process below vvv
Gale : fancy depressed wizard gets a fancy bathrobe type get up ! I don't think this man was getting dressed a lot in that sad year post his breakup, so why not invest in a comfy cool pj he can slip on in the morning feeling like it kinda counts as dressing up ! And I get that they didn't exactly pack before getting kidnapped by aliens, but Gale is a wizard I'm sure he can just reach into a pocket dimension where he stores some of his belongings (ala my tes mage !) or something
Astarion : I don't think astarion owns many clothes. He isn't wealthy, and well.... Let's not talk about Cazador in the fun pyjama party post- so his ruffled shirt untucked from a pair of looser cotton or silk pants it is ! Also I learned that elves are typically shorter on average in dnd and that's great, that's perfect, that's so funny, I can just picture him insisting this is true (which it is).... And then enters Halsin fjdjdk anyway
Halsin : I just know in my heart that man sleep in his bear form. It's when he's most comfortable, and he doesn't need to talk to other people when sleeping so why not. Also comfy bed mate :) ! Other option is completely nude (yes I forgot to include him in the lineup, sue me but I'm too tired to re open photoshop rn-)
Shadowheart : this is my art, and if I want the resident goth girly to be in a cute little nightgown I can >:( she gets lace and everything let me be a lesbian !!! Also she small and sturdy
Wyll : a slight variation of his canon camp clothes :) made his top less skintight, and once again changed the texture from leather to something less terrible to sleep in seriously why are all these people committed to this lifestyle-
Lae'zel : no pjs, a githyanki must be ready for battle 24/7 only the weak wear comfy clothes and don't commit to sleeping in leather pants and leather underwear. She's a freak and I love her dearly
Karlach : she deserves the best pyjamas of them all : topless in underwear. Nothing comfier than that and it's not like she'll get cold :) also she wears it very well what can I say fjdjdkd



I started working on the lineart like a month ago alongside a commission that I really didn't like working on- so anytime I got work done for the commission (btw not from someone online so it's none of you tumblrinas), I would reward myself with adding more shit to the bg3 drawing djdjdkk which resulted in a lot of details and clutter, that I didn't want to start coloring because that would be a nightmare to figure out and very long to do, so I would continue adding shit instead of starting colors- and the circle kept turning. Also 10 hands..... So this took a while to get right fjdjdk
But on the bright side, it's the most detailed illustrations I've done yet and I'm really proud of it (especially all the little story elements I could include <3)
#it's currently 4:30 am and today I spent 12+ hours straight coloring jgkfj hopefully I'll still like it tomorrow :)#wyllstarion#shadowzel#if you squint#(and I want you to squint)#shadowheart#lae'zel#gale dekarios#astarion ancunin#wyll ravengard#halsin#karlach cliffgate#baldur's gate 3#bg3#bg3 fanart#bg3 wyll#bg3 astarion#bg3 shadowheart#bg3 lae'zel#bg3 gale#bg3 halsin#bg3 karlach#bg3 scratch#bg3 owlbear#bloodpact#cw alcohol#cw weed#cw smoking#my art#digital art
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ok the slight panic is setting in now. I will write my latin end of secondary school exam tomorrow for real for real
#earlier today a friend told me that I studied for this exam for 9 years and thus my inability to study the last month isnt the end of the wo#rld. it was only 7 yrs but I will take her words and hold them so close to my chest#worst case scenario: Diogenes wants you to have nothing and be happy. Aristoteles wants you to be human meaning use your fucking brain.#Camus is absurdism/nihilism. Nothing makes fucking sense you are free make your own fucking happinness. Science says it‘s all hormones#Epikur wants you to follow your desires but not too much#Guy with extremely long russian name which I don‘t remember also wants you to do something#but i dont remember#Seneca wants you to use your brain and also be self sufficient fucking suffer and deal and improve your life. Lust is your enemy. Friends w#ill use you.#work out. read philosophy.
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