#would you rather...
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#poll#polls#tumblr polls#would you rather#would you rather...#would you rather?#ocean#water#sharks#dolphins#swim with sharks#swim with dolphins#sea animals#sea#ocean animals#sea life#ocean life#marine life#marine animals#sharks vs dolphins#dolphins vs sharks
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slow down for your disabled friends. thats like a bare minimum kindness that we shouldnt have to ask for. i love that youre so quirky and walking fast is a cool personality trait to you and all that but i bet you can count your physically disabled friends on less than one hand
#in a perfect world the move im gay meme would be about being fat or having a mobility aid and people just standing in your way in public#my bemoanings#debated posting this but itd be nice to have some solidarity where my mobility aid users at who have not a lot of good outside friends#also if youre a friend of mine who is worried that you might be the person in the comic im gonna be real#MULTIPLE ppl have said this exact thing to me and id rather you just slow down next time. dont come to me asking for forgiveness or smth#also straight up the person in this comic i havent seen for years because they were mean to me anyways
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so once me and my wife were watching a documentary where a snake ate like a million eggs. that snake just went to fucking town on eggs. and the snake made the eggs look so good that i kept thinking about it, and thinking about it, and thinking about it, and eventually it was 11pm and i ran out of willpower and decided to eat one (1) singular raw egg just to prove to myself that the snake was surely a liar.
the snake was not a liar. texture is like, super important to me and raw eggs are very Texture so i had another one, and then another one, and then another one, and eventually i ran out of eggs.
i had like, fifteen raw eggs.
i didnt really know how to explain this momentary madness to my wife, so my Plan was to put all the eggshells into a grocey bag, and then throw that grocery bag in the dumpster, and if she never noticed that would be Excellent and if she noticed immediately i could lie and say that the eggs went bad.
except i cant lie very good, and of course with murphys law being such, i got salmonella.
so i threw up a lot and my wife asked me what poisoned me so and i tried very hard to dodge the question but i was oozing shame like oil from a room temperature cheese and eventaully i gave in and told her everything and to her enormous credit she was more flabbergasted than actually upset. she did make me promise to not eat any more raw eggs, which i have stuck to, and she gives me weird looks during nature documentaries now as if desire was the only thing keeping me from eating thousands of pounds of krill anyway i made a joke earlier about being able to eat my age in eggs and my sister in law in law made a drawing to comemorate the moment and also because it was my birthday. she's excellent. thank you 10000000% @cintailed. you should all visit her page and admire her work.
#i feel a kinship with that snake#would that i could be a simple tube#and eat my fill of eggs#but being a person is rather nice too#my wife is a saint#and i promise that most of the time she is the goblin and i am the Serious Guy#but i had a little pique of insanity and you know what it was my junior year of college#and i deserved to just go a little insane#you spent 65 hours a week being Rational and then you go home and eat like twenty raw eggs
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(also feel free in the tags to clarify Why you made the choice you made!! :0c)
#polls#tumblr polls#For me I think the top ones would be the House. The Money. or the Friend Group. But I ultimately might would go for the house#JUST becuase it would be my Dream House which means it would already meet mostly all of my specifications#and what I might be looking for. which would save a lot of time searching or customizing/rennovating.#Also because I could use that as a way to leave the US lol.. like .. if I get to choose my dream location.. couldnt I just choose some othe#country?? But I wonder how that works. Can you legally 100% have full ownership of a property in a country yet not be a citizen of that#country?? Would you show up and be like 'erm.. i own this house.. so i shall now live in it' and theyd be like 'uh no. you cant live here#despite owning the house. leave.' ??#So I think the initial process of 1. scraping together funds to actually MOVE myself and my most valuable belongings physically#TO another country. and 2. figuring out how to STAY in that country . might end up being difficult.. BUT. if I could just work that#part of things out then.. dream house?? security for once in my life?? stability?? :0#Though the $1mil is enticing it's also like.. I feel .. with the way housing prices are now... that's not much???#it's a lot I guess if you plan on like.. investing half the money and staying in an apartment for 5 years while you grow your wealth#or something. but if you're a 'I Need Stability NOW' ready to settle down person who would be most interested in owning a property rather#than nice clothes or a car or whatever other investments you could make then.. eh..?? It seems like unless you're okay with living in#a small town or kind of far away from the city - even some SMALL houses in majorly populated areas in the US will be like#$600.000 - $900.000 or something. like that would be MOST of my money. Which I know you could just pay partially and make#payments on it but idk.. in the option of just outright owning the house it seems like it'd end up being cheaper.#Plus I would want to own it fully asap because I'd be afraid of losing it somehow otherwise. like it being taken for medical bills or#something. which I thought was supposed to be - not IMPOSSIBLE - slightly more complicated legally if you actually have#paid off the house in full. I guess the issue then would be utilities and property tax and such. But I feel like thats overcome-able??#Like I could just stipulate that my Dream House has a little furnished addition or something and then find someone#with money and be like 'Look you can live in this extremely nice area with amazing ameneties and updated everything and ALL you have#to do is give me money to cover the utilities and property tax.'' or something like that. Like the little furnished addition is nicer#than the actual house. they have their own pool and spa and movie room or something and Ill also cook all their meals for them#or whatever (how luxurious it would be depeneds on how high the property tax actually is/how much I would need to entice them into#why it's a good deal for them to pay it for me lol). idk... something like that.. ANYWAY#I asked a few people I know though and one of them answered they'd rather have a romantic partner. the other one said they'd like#to be able to choose someone to die lol.. So I'm curious what people value the most
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Broke: Merlin is a royalist because he is a class traitor boot licker
Woke: Merlin is a royalist because he was raised a peasant in the sixth century and he has the perspective and values typical of that time period on top of his personal experiences with Arthur to give him faith in the enlightened despotism favored by Catherine the Great and Frederick of Prussia.
Bespoke: Merlin is a royalist because anyone who had to live through both the English Civil War and Voltaire's exile to Britain would come out the other side thinking democracy is stupid.
Transcendent: Merlin is not a royalist. He is the divine right of kings in human form. The avatar of Albion and its magic. He does not believe in kings because of Arthur. He believes in Arthur so Arthur gets to be king.
#merlin bbc#bbc merlin#merthur#arthur pendragon#merlin#history tag#Voltaire#merlin absolutely hates candide you can not convince me otherwise#If asked Merlin would say he would much rather deal with the Puritans turning the entire country into a Christian death cult again#then have to be in the same room as voltaire one more time#Every time he remembers Voltaire has been dead for centuries he sighs in relief#It happens every six weeks give or take#catherine the great#Fredrick of Prussia#thoughts that came to me as i played civ 7 can you tell?
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#man or bear#man vs bear#bear or man#bear vs man#would you rather#women want me fish fear me#cute bear#bear illustration#bear drawing#female illustrators#female artists#illustration#cute illustrations#art on tumblr
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Main Masterlist, Cats and Their Men Masterlist, Part 2
Thinking about Simon with a runt of a kitten and it’s barely the size of his palm. Also thinking about the poor cashier that’s stumbling over her words when that hulking man has a kitten fisted in his palm and he just jerks it forward.
“U-Uh, sir, we can’t— I can’t keep that.” His eyes make you shrivel up and you delicately hold the little kitten in your hands. “We uh— the store can’t hold animals we only sell the stuff that animals need.”
He looks at you like that’s not what he’s wanted to hear. Granted you’ve had a couple people come up to try and surrender or drop of their animals like it’s a pound. “I need things for the cat.” He says and you feel like maybe you shot yourself in the foot.
You have a line piling up behind him but no one seems to dare speak up. Why would they when this guy could lay them flat out? Jesus what are they feeding this guy? Steroids and protein powders? You think before swallowing thickly. “I can… I can get my coworkers to—“
“No.” He reaches forward and you flinch when he picks up the kitten and holds it to his chest. “You’ll help.” Nodding off and he starts to walk leaving you dumbfounded and confused. He walks a couple steps before he turns to you with a ‘well?’ look on his face.
You hurriedly grab your pager and call for someone to go through the line while you help this guy. Leading him down the aisle for the litter and you list off the different types. “There’s crystal litter, wood pellets and those are pretty good when it comes to smell. We have tofu litter and that—“
“Does it need something fancy to shit in?” He cuts off the beginning of your speech with a huff. He sounds a mix of annoyed and amused with how you bristle from his remark. You’re tempted to leave, your manager can bitch later about you doing that butttt the kitten against his chest meows and you find that you can’t leave the little thing to suffer because their dad’s a right prick.
“Sir,” you take a breath, “the litter is moreso about preference. Do you want to hide the smell of their… ya know… poop better? Or would you prefer something that clumps or something that’s easy to clean?” You wait… and wait some more before he finally says.
“Pick one.”
You blink at him and he mimics it that bastard. He just stares the entire time you have this little contest. You’re starting to feel like you should’ve called out of work. You knew today would be horrible, your instincts never lie. “Okay,” taking a deep breath and spitefully picking the most expensive and heaviest litter that your store sells. You yank it off the shelf with a groan. If it’s hard for you to lift then he’ll probably have the time of his life having to lug this home. He doesn’t seem to care about the pricing nor the weight though as he grabs the litter from your struggling arms. He shoves the kitten back to your empty hands. “I—“ you stumble over your words, trying to come up with something but he beats you to it.
“Where’s the food she need?” Lifting it onto his shoulders, the muscles bulging as he holds that thing with ease.
“Well she,“ you cough to keep from ogling too much. “Will need some kitten food and maybe some wet food later on. A good kibble would be good to add later on once she gets older,” holding the kitten up gently and her little green eyes blink at you. You prod softly at her teeth to make sure she can handle those foods. You’re hoping she’s not to young or she’ll need kitten formula. You then check her ears and see some red marks. Noticing the little black specs moving about her neck and you cringe. “And a good flea bath. Poor thing,” petting the little baby as you walk off to grab a flea comb. He’ll have to buy it anyways so you’ll make use of it now. You pick at her fur with the comb and squish whatever fleas that you find, you hate those little fuckers. “What’s her name?”
You’ve noticed he’s as silent as a grave this customer of yours. He’s hardly said a peep besides caveman grunts and nods. If it wasn’t for him nearly against your side then you would’ve thought he ran off. That black surgical mask makes him look like he’s something important. Maybe mafia or something possibly dangerous. But… he did come in holding this tiny kitten and isn’t batting an eye at the things you’ve been telling him he’ll need to get for his new pet. Perhaps he’s nicer than your judgement of him is.
You clear your throat, he probably didn’t hear you since he hasn’t tilted his head down. “Does she have a name?” You ask once more and he pulls to a stop, he had came back with a cart earlier when there were too many things for him to hold in his tree trunk arms. It was comical seeing him try to hold a litter box, scratching post, and various foods though.
He doesn’t answer save for the roll of his shoulders that looks like it could be counted as a shrug. You mouth an ‘oh’ before you mind your business. He probably just found her or he’s gonna foster and send her off. Better to not get attached…
You chatter off the things he’ll need to do. See a vet, get her spayed, make sure she has no health problems, the usual things that you mention to pet parents. The little thing in your hands is a curious thing, she wiggles about constantly. Eager to move and escape your hands and arms. Tiny tail flicking about and the meowing and pawing is cute, makes your heart squeeze when he plucks her from your hands and he holds her close. You push the cart along and stop at the toys and bowl aisle.
“Well,” you pull some toys off the shelf, crinkle toys and mouses that should help with those prey instincts. “She’s a sweetheart. I’d probably call her Bailey,” you smile fondly and his brows furrow at your advice. Grabbing the kitten shaped bowls and hurriedly putting them in the cart when you squirm under his eyes. “Oh uh, my brother always wanted a cat named Bailey. It’s a nice name but if you don’t want to call her—“
“Bailey,” he holds her up a little and the kitten paws at his face. Her little nails snag on the fibers of his mask and he pulls them off quickly. “Better than garbage, yeah?” He speaks to the kitten like a human. There’s a crinkle besides his eyes and you realize he’s smiling but when you catch what he said you drop this cactus scratcher you thought he should buy her by accident.
“Garbage?” You look aghast. You’ve heard all kinds of names but never something like that. Quickly picking the cactus scratcher back up and placing it in the piling up cart. “You’d call her that?”
He shrugs his massive shoulders again. “S’where I found ‘er.” Grumbling his reasoning. He glares at the kitten like she’s the cause of his problems. “Couldn’t sleep with’er howling and rummaging about. Made a mess that I had to clean.”
You blink a bit and now it makes some sense why he’s so… snappy? “Well… maybe she knew you’d get her if she was loud enough.”
He scoffs, “she bit and hissed at me.” He rubs his finger over her head and you notice the little red marks on his hands. “Feisty little shit shoulda left ya out in the cold.” She nips at him and he chuckles something deep.
You can’t help the smile that reaches your face. She plays with his fingers and he doesn’t flinch when she bites hard or digs her nails in. He just looks down at her with something akin to wonder and begrudged responsibility.
You pull him to your cash register and his kitten racks up a pretty hefty bill but he pays for it with wads of cash. You don’t speak on the weird crumbled bills nor the faint reddish brown color. You simply bag his items and put them in his cart. “If you need anything, sir. Come find me and I’ll help, okay?” You can’t believe you said it AND actually ment it. What can you say, you love cats more than people and that little thing won your heart as easily as she won his.
He gives a gruff nod and pushes his cart out with on hand. The kitten is pushed into his coat pocket to hide her most likely from the cold outside. She pokes her head out to give a complaint but he just gently pushes her back in. He leaves without waving and you’re left to wonder if he’ll come back. You kinda hope he does come back.
#lolowrites#thought about my own runt of a cat#and went#yeah Ghost would have a field day with you#self indulgent#fluff#cause my cat’s name is Bailey cause my brother wanted a cat named Bailey#simon ghost riley#Ghost#ghost simon riley#simon riley#ghost and his cat#the cat distribution center has chosen you Ghost#simon ghost riley x reader#sorta#ghost x reader#simon riley x reader#Simons a cat person NOT by choice#he’d rather a dog but the cat chose him
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Would you rather...
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'the F1 movie needed to have Brad Pitt fuck his female engineer because there needed to be sexual tension!' BORING. If they wanted sexual tension they should've made it historically accurate and true to real life and had Brad Pitt fuck his teammate
#lewis you can't make a movie projecting brocedes onto brad pitt and then pretend you weren't requitedly freaky about nico rosberg#that's not how that works lewis#however upon writing these tags I do think it would be rather funny if the engineer was like. A blonde Germanic woman named Nicole#get two of his exes in one#formula 1#formula one#f1#lewis hamilton#nico rosberg#I will now tag every driver I think this is applicable to#charles leclerc#max verstappen#lestappen#oscar piastri#lando norris#landoscar#pierre gasly#esteban ocon#pierresteban#sebastian vettel#mark webber#sebmark
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#running dry on things#poll#polls#tumblr polls#would you rather#would you rather...#would you rather?#pencil#pencils#wooden#mechanical#mechanical pencil#mechanical pencils#wooden pencil#wooden pencils#wooden vs mechanical#mechanical vs wooden#pencil poll#typed pencil too much now it doesnt seem like a word . frowns
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No bcs the way Sylus would never ever let you pay for anything…..one time, you try to pay discretely during dinner when you think he’s not looking ( bc you wanna pay for something !! It's not like you're broke, after all, and you don't want it to seem like you're only after him for his black card ) and he just. Snatches the bill away from you !! Before you can even blink !! And when you look at him, his brow is raised and there's a smug, playful smirk on his face— and a silent 'Really, sweetie?' hangs in the air, like he can't believe his eyes. And before you can even protest, he's already handing the bill —with his card in it— back to the waitstaff.
"Better luck next time," Sylus says, shooting you a smirk, knowing full well he's not gonna let you pay next time, either.
#「 🐈⬛ 」 catcze.desserts#sylus x reader#lads sylus x reader#sylus#lads sylus#love and deepspace x reader#love and deepspace#NO BCS as much as I like paying for stuff with my friends I just wanna have someone spoil me and give me princess treatment too 😭#Plus points becaus Sy knows that you're not used to being pampered and paid for and while he gets that u don't wanna look like ur mooching#off of him he would rather have you shoot him again than let you pay for anything when his card is literally within reach LOL
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He was feeling left out
and the higher rez stills, since gifs always export as if you're sending messages through a metal can~







#you may be wondering why I put so much effort into this#I'm curious too funny how these things happen sometimes#anyways I think omega has jets on his back that would let him fly but consider: he wants to Look Cool#shadow the hedgehog#rouge the bat#omega e123#sxsg#sonic x shadow generations#team dark#sxsg spoilers#sth#idk how long I need to tag spoilers but I'll be nice#comic#having the camera shifted towards shadow for the middle bit was a Mistake#he is soooo much harder to draw than rouge asl;dkfj#like one degree off on the eyes and it becomes unviable I swear#except for profiles ironically that first panel was easy as hell#looking back on this I love how I Completely changed how I drew rouge's wings after the first panel#I think the difference was I just swapped refs and her character model was different lol#meanwhile I'm just blatantly cheating shadow's wings for the middle panel purely to fit them in at all#I truly love how oversized they are except for when I'm trying to make a readable composition#yet another reason he should've been back to the camera rather than facing it in the middle but so it goes#my art#doodles
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a local homosexual deals with an unfortunate crush by chewing on his hair and contemplating murder (we’ve all been there)
#I feel like Eddie with the crush would have great get out of my school energy#I deeply love the idea of him having a thing for Steve and hating it before s4#especially because it would have given Steve a legit reason to not be that convinced he is not a murderer initially#imagine hearing some dude allegedly killed someone when this same dude kept looking at you rather murderously for the last couple years#you’d be like duh#steddie#stranger things#steddie fanart#stranger things fanart#st s4#steve harrington#eddie munson#steve harrington x eddie munson#my art#artist on tumblr
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The entomologist primarily studies beetles and is of average driving skill. The car has a full tank of gas.
The Beatles are as they were in their musical prime.
The beetles are adults of the species Cotinis nitida
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