#writing felt kind of out of reach
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darabeatha · 2 months ago
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/I miss writing dynamics between characters , but this is really a me issue I should strive to correct, but even then, I I still find myself yearning like a cold animal by the road-
#;ooc#ooc#;dl#like i want to be saught after basically; YES I SAID IT#which is of course kind of mmmmm since change should stat with oneself#but can i be selfish for a quick moment; allow my facade to fade- im looking at u guys dead in the eye#like; reached out not to be a resource; but to be someone you have fun talking to#i tend to get obsessed over my mutuals' chaatcters but i kind of wish i had that feeling once#like; “I N E ED TO SEE R.OBIN HOOD HE IS MY SPECIALIST GUY!!!!”#that type of energy#im being weak AF by revealing all this information but#we are sensitive meat machines truly#its like;; that same interest- but in a genuine way; it would feel so nice; im sure ive felt jt before but right now ive forgotten#that i can finally speak about my personal blorbo without feeling annoying or receiving a reaction that doesnt match the energy i give#*sought#i think it boils down to i want to be seen and searched#but i knkw that to have that you should take the first step#i want that same enthusiasm;;; like i was telling a friend how i could write all their ocs and have their vibes plastered perfectly#bc i genuinely adore them; they are like from an actual manga to me#and Its that emo moment of; wishing one of ur characters meant something important to someone else i think#anyays urmmm urmmm this is mad embarrassing; im actually super cool all the time so-#;delete later#like;; do my muses even convey something? anything? to me i carry them under my sleeve so i feel it#but if someone came abd told me “your x muse is my favorite” i would sobb#ita like that selfish desire of; im always chasing others with appreciation and enthusiasm and love; when will i feel that with my muses#like omgggg s.mol posted about a.rjuna!! i love him so much!! i kove the way you write him!#actually i might be a dog-#wanting praise... MAD EMBARRASSING GROSS DISGUSTING proper perfect beings such as myself should not require of such trivial things#-frotting at the mouth from yearning and a warm touch-
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swiiivet-screamathon · 19 days ago
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"Lily! Do you have a moment?"
"Hm? Did something happen?"
"Not of the emergency kind, I may have lost something though."
"Lost something? Didn't think I was known for finding physical items :p"
"Lost my patience with all of this hair." He sighs with a laugh, pulling out a strand of hair to the side.
"Whuh-- Really? I can't believe something got under your skin." She laughs and moves over to get a closer look at what they're working with.
"If there's anyone I know with long hair who would know how to handle it, I'm not sure if I could find someone better."
"I'm sure you could, but I've certainly got the experience."
As she finishes the words she gently pulls Pv by the sleeve and they begin walking towards the castle.
"I may also have lost the lily you gave me before you left."
"Tsk, tsk, and you think you've earned my hair related help after doing something so heinous?"
"I know, I know, I'd just be the worst person as well if I were to ask for one woven in again, it was a nice reminder of what you told me."
After having been led into a room she sits him down in front of his vanity and returns to the hair situation.
"Hmm, I'll see if I've got it in me to forgive such a vicious crime haha-- I assume you want it put up in some way then, not cut off?"
"I don't think I'd have it in me to cut it off, it's quite the representation of what I've learnt; I couldn't imagine wanting to remove my growth."
"On the nose, huh? I understand the sentiment though, who would've known some rando we've never met could be so life altering?"
"If I knew sooner I'm sure I would've rushed over, don't regret meeting those randos at all."
"Hah, because you would know I was there sleeping my days away?"
"Haha, of course, of course. Everyone knows it's an even worse offense to have more than one friend!"
"Such blasphemy, another word and I might faint!"
"Oh no! snort I don't know if I could get you out of a second coma!"
"Witches know that I don't need another hour of sleep after all that."
"Wistful sigh. Having you be gone for so long was terrible, but I can't help but see the glass half full, that the moment I found you we almost instantly had the means to get you awake and returned. I think about it sometimes, if finding the shards of your souljam was any harder, or if Elder Faerie didn't know how to get you back, seeing you in that box for who knows how long."
"Well, as far as I'd be concerned then I would've just kept up the nap."
"I don't know what I would've done in that situation, but it'd surely be filled with you snoring my ears off."
"And here I thought you'd become compassionate, haha."
"I meant it as you reminding me that you're still alive with every breath, but sure, take it negatively."
They look at each other for a brief moment, before erupting in laughter.
"--- Ugh~, heh, if we keep this up I'm never gonna finish your hair."
"Oh no, how horrific ^^"
"Oh don't give me that, would you rather I left your hair in this state?"
"And I'd keep it that way for as long as I could."
"Smooth, smooth. Hey, I just wanna be certain, not let it roll under the rug. Do you want to talk about it at all?"
"I'm good, don't worry. Thank you for asking though."
"That's good to hear. Should've given me the title of compassionate after what's been said today."
"I'd gladly share the title. It'd be an honor."
"No, no-- I couldn't. My job is simply to remind you of what your job is."
"Darn, and here I thought you might be compassionate to me for once."
"Uff! Never! I see your face and all that spills out of me are distasteful words. Impossible feat to be kind to you, it'd be easier to give up my souljam, haha."
"Double darn, I guess that one moment of concern was one in a million then?"
"Maybe if you'd come across two randos and became doubly compassionate you'd be tolerable."
"You've got a point, you really do. I'm humbled to be in the presence of such a wise character."
"Hah, enough goofing-- You've got a lot of hair when you can't stand still for five seconds, but I tried my best. Thought you might like it."
Surprised at the task already being finished he points his attention to the mirror, running his hand under the large braid Lily had fixed for him. He took great care to notice the added lily flower that'd been used as a hairtie fixture.
"!!! How wonderful! I love it. Thank you greatly, Lily."
"Haha, glad you liked it."
"I couldn't have hoped for better."
"You didn't actually need my help, did you?"
"Hey, don't try to pull me into some ulterior motives gotcha-- Can't this old man want to be with a friend?"
"I guess the old man will have to undo his braid then if he's not going to be forthright about wanting some quality time."
"I couldn't have gotten another lily, if you're going to corner me like that."
"And you better not lose this one :p"
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iydiamartinx · 1 month ago
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RIDDLE ME THIS, HOODS GOT A GIRL?
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Pairing: Jason Todd x Reader
divider by: cafekitsune & omi-resources & thecutestgrotto word count: 1.7k synopsis: The Bats need information, Jason has an informant...who might also be more. a/n: I feel so utterly single writing these imagines, but I only want one of the bat boys 😭
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The night sky over Gotham shone with its usual smog-streaked clouds faintly glowing orange from the city’s lights.
Inside the Batcave, it was a whirl of activity as the team tried to figure out the Riddler's location.
“We need someone who knows Riddler’s movements—someone who’s worked with his patterns recently,” Bruce said, gaze narrowed on the glowing map display.
Jason leaned against the edge of the table, arms crossed over his chest, helmet tucked under one arm. “I’ve got someone.”
Tim paused mid-keystroke. “You’ve got someone?”
Dick raised a brow. “Someone you’re willing to share with the class?”
“She’s not exactly a people person,” Jason said with a lazy shrug, already turning to leave. “But she’s solid. I’ll get the info.”
“No way,” Damian said flatly. “If there’s an informant involved, we’re all going.”
Jason sighed. “She’s not exactly an informant.”
“But she has intel,” Dick added, voice teasing. “And you just happen to be the one she’s willing to talk to? Sounds suspicious.”
Jason shot him a look that could’ve cracked concrete. “Just stay out of the way.”
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They met you beneath the derelict train yard off Kane Street—barely lit, long forgotten, and exactly the kind of place no one stumbled into by accident. The rusted metal groaned in the breeze, and the distant hum of Gotham felt muted here, swallowed by shadows and silence. You were already waiting, perched atop a decaying train car like a sentinel, one leg bent, the other dangling with casual ease.
The moment they stepped into view, you jumped down with fluid grace, boots landing soundlessly on the gravel below. The black and steel tactical gear you wore clung to every sharp line of your body, outlining lethal efficiency. Twin pistols were strapped tight against your thighs, and the half-raised hood left your expression mostly concealed—save for the sharp glint of your eyes.
“You’re late,” You said, voice low and smooth.
Jason smirked beneath the helmet. “Traffic.”
“Uh-huh.” You didn’t sound convinced.
That was when Nightwing stepped forward, all charm and sunshine grins, as if that smile of his could melt any armour. “And who might you be, gorgeous?”
Your eyes flicked to him, unimpressed. “Not interested.”
Tim coughed into his hand, clearly trying to hide a laugh. Damian smirked, crossing his arms with a tilt of smug satisfaction. Both of them had encountered you before—brief run-ins during missions that didn’t last long. You were direct. Cold. All business. No patience for pleasantries or ego-stroking.
It was one of the reasons Bruce was even considering pulling you into the fold. Claiming, he needed more serious people but everyone was sure he needed someone who brooded as much as him. But tonight you didn’t seem as broody.
Jason tilted his head. “Play nice.”
“I am,” You shot back, then turned back to him—and your tone shifted. 
You took a few deliberate steps forward, closing the distance between you and Jason until the toe of your boot nearly touched his. Your fingers reached out, grazing the edge of his chest armour.
“You look good, Hood,” you said, voice low and sly. “Still wearing red for me?”
Jason’s head tilted slightly, the faintest smirk pulling beneath his helmet. “Figured it hides the blood.”
Your lips curved into dark dangerous amusement. “You always did bleed pretty.”
A cough from behind broke the charged silence.
“I didn’t know you two had met,” Tim said, cautious, eyes flicking between the two of you.
“We’ve crossed paths,” you replied smoothly, gaze still locked on Red Hood like no one else existed. “Several times.”
Jason crossed his arms over his chest, his stance loose but alert. “She saved my ass once.”
“And he returned the favour,” You replied.
“You got something for me?” he asked, jumping into business.
You reached into her jacket, producing a drive between two gloved fingers, holding it just out of his reach. “Maybe. Depends.”
“On what?”
“You know what I want,” You crooned.
Jason’s reply was steady, unwavering. “You know I always deliver.”
That earned a smirk from you. You leaned in just a touch more, voice a soft purr. “You gonna say please, Hood?”
Jason reached out, his hand closing lightly around your wrist. The grip was firm, a warning more than a threat. “Don’t push.”
Your eyes sparked with interest—delight, even. “Oh, but it’s so fun.”
Still, this time, you relented. Slowly, purposefully, you stepped closer and tucked the drive into the utility pouch strapped at his hip. Your hand lingered there longer than necessary, fingers brushing over the gear, grazing the curve of his waist.
“Under Tricorner,” you said quietly, close enough now your breath warmed the space beneath his helmet. “He’s nesting under the old cathedral ruins. You’ll want to take the west tunnel—avoid the gas traps.”
“Appreciate it,” he replied, but his voice was a little rougher now.
You smiled, slow and wicked. “You always know how to say thank you.”
And then, with the same casual audacity you wielded like a blade, you leaned up and pressed your lips to the underside of his helmet leaving behind the faintest mark of your lipstick
Backing away, you turned on your heel, already fading into the fog that clung to the edges of the train yard. But your parting words were clear. “You know how to find me… to pay up, Hood.”
Then you were gone, swallowed by the dark as if you’d never been there at all.
The boys stared at Jason in stunned silence.
He turned slowly, expression unreadable beneath the helmet, and said dryly, “What?”
Dick blinked, visibly thrown. “You and her?”
“I told you she’s not a people person and…” Jason shrugged, the picture of nonchalance. “We’ve got history.”
“I—how long has this been happening?” Tim asked, looking genuinely lost.
Jason was already walking past them, shoulders relaxed, “Long enough.” 
Damian narrowed his eyes, trailing behind. “What kind of payment is she demanding from you?”
Jason didn’t even look back.
“None of your business, Demon Spawn.”
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LATER THAT NIGHT
Riddler had been taken care of and Jason was finally off the clock. But instead of heading to his apartment, he headed over to another.
He slipped through the open window, careful not to get tangled in the curtains as they fluttered in the warm breeze. The light in the kitchen dimmed low. The soft trace of gunmetal and something sweeter, like vanilla lingered in the air.
His armour peeled off piece by piece, left in a silent trail across the hardwood. Chest plate. Gloves. Utility belt. Boots. Until he was left in nothing but his boxers.
The bedroom door was cracked. Light from the street spilled across the bed in thin golden ribbons, illuminating the figure curled beneath the sheets.
She was there. Tucked into the centre of the mattress, tangled in a nest of linen and shadows. His shirt—an old, faded thing he’d once bled in and meant to throw out—was all she wore, slipping off one shoulder and riding high on her thighs.
She always looked like a contradiction like that. Sharp in every moment of the night—cold eyes, cutting voice, touch like a weapon—and soft here, in the early mornings. Laid bare and defenceless in the place no one else got to see.
Jason paused in the doorway, his breath catching for reasons he didn’t want to name. He didn’t get softness often. He didn’t let himself want it. But here… here it waited for him.
Her breathing was slow and even, lashes fanned against her cheeks, one hand curled beneath her chin.
He moved quietly, the mattress dipping beneath his weight as he settled behind her. She stirred—just a little—but didn’t open her eyes. Didn’t need to. Her body curved instinctively back into his.
“Mm,” You murmured, barely a whisper. “Thought I felt you…”
Jason’s voice was rough, low against your ear. “Didn’t mean to wake you.”
“Liar.” Your voice was sleep-drenched, teasing. “You always do.”
He let his arm curl around your waist, pulling you close until your back was flush against his chest, his nose brushing against the curve of your neck.
“Riddler’s out of the picture,” he murmured, lips brushing the shell of your ear. “Gotham’s quiet… for now.”
You smiled against the pillow, but it was fleeting—because a heartbeat later, you moved.
With a slow arch of your spine and a shift of muscle, you rolled, tossing your leg over his hip in one fluid, practiced motion that had him flat on his back before he could blink. You were straddling him now, perched above with that smug, lazy grin he’d come to recognize—and maybe dread just a little.
“Which means,” you purred, voice low and velvet-rich, “it’s time for you to pay up.”
Jason huffed out a breath that was half laugh, half groan. “You made that up,” he muttered, eyes narrowing like he was trying not to smile. “You spun that whole ‘transactional intel’ stuff just so my brothers wouldn’t find out about us.”
You tilted your head, feigning innocence as your fingertips ghosted over his chest—trailing from the dip of his collarbone to the ridges of muscle, your nails skimming along the old scar just over his heart, making him twitch. “Doesn’t matter,” you whispered, leaning down so your lips brushed the corner of his jaw. “You agreed to the terms.”
Your voice dropped to a sultry murmur, wicked with promise. “And what I want… is you. All to myself. For the next few days. No patrol. No Bat drama. Just you. That’s how this works, baby.”
His arms encircled you before you could fully retreat, keeping you flush against him. One hand tangled into your hair, possessive and grounding, while the other slid along your thigh, reverent and slow, stopping just beneath the hem of his shirt that barely covered you.
“You’re a menace,” he murmured, voice husky now, low and warm.
“Guilty,” you breathed, lips brushing against his.
And then he pulled you down.
The kiss wasn’t hurried. Deep and warm, burning slow and sure as his hand tightened in your hair and yours slid along his ribs. You melted into him like you always did.
When he finally pulled back, it was only far enough to press his forehead against yours. His voice was barely more than a breath.
“You know you always have me to yourself.”
You smiled, brushing your thumb along his jaw. “Good. Because I don’t share.”
Jason smirked, voice low and rough. “Wouldn’t let you if you tried.”
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maskedbyghost · 3 months ago
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Part 2 of fuck buddies with Simon (now with extra emotional damage)
You didn’t text him, you didn’t call, you didn’t chase.
But you did send one final message.
“This is the last time, Simon. I can’t keep doing this. I don’t want to be someone you only need when you’re lonely or angry or tired. I wanted you, not just your time or your hands or your body. You don’t have to say anything—I’m just letting you know I’m done. Please don’t come back. I won’t open the door.”
Then you blocked him.
Phone, socials, everything. And not in some dramatic, screaming, flinging-plates kind of way.
And for the first few days, nothing happened. No messages, no banging on the door, and no surprise visits in the middle of the night. Just silence.
But on Simon’s end?
Hell broke loose.
He didn’t even notice the message right away. He was halfway through watching a game when he opened his phone and saw it sitting there, timestamped four hours ago. He read it once, then again, and then stared at it like maybe if he glared hard enough, the words would disappear.
But they didn’t.
He tried to reply, of course. His thumbs hovered over the keyboard for longer than he’d admit. But when he hit send, the message didn’t go through.
His jaw clicked tight. Something cold and ugly twisted low in his chest. He tossed his phone onto the couch and paced. He thought about showing up at your place but didn’t. Not yet. Not when he didn’t even know what he was going to say.
It hit him, slowly. That you weren’t bluffing. That you meant it this time.
That he fucked it. Bad...
A month later
You’re sitting across from a guy who actually listens when you talk. He laughs at your jokes, asks you questions. He looks at you like he’s interested—not just in your body, but in your thoughts, opinions, and favorite takeout order.
It’s... weird. Not bad weird. Just different. Good, even.
You're at a quiet restaurant, corner booth, tucked into a little space with candlelight and soft jazz playing overhead. You’re just reaching for your drink when you hear it.
The click of a safety being flipped off, before your date goes still.
“Don’t move,” a voice says, low and dark behind him.
You know that voice.
Your blood runs cold before you even look at him.
Simon stands there, one hand is braced on the back of your date’s chair. The other? Holding a gun pointed directly at the side of the poor guy’s head.
“Simon—what the fuck are you doing?” you hiss, scrambling out of the booth.
“I just wanna talk,” he says, voice way too calm for someone with a loaded weapon in hand.
Your date is sweating, hands raised. “Hey, man, I don’t want any trouble—”
“Did I ask you what you wanted?” Simon snaps. Then he smiles. Smiles. “You’re gonna get up and leave. Right now. No questions. Go.”
The guy doesn’t argue. He bolts so fast he almost trips over a chair.
You stand there, staring at Simon like you’re seeing him for the first time. And in a way, you are.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” you ask, shoving him back. “Are you insane?”
“I said I just wanted to talk,” he mutters, sliding into the booth like he didn’t just commit a felony in front of three tables.
“Jesus, Simon. You scared the hell out of him. You scared me. You don’t just pull a gun on someone because you’re feeling jealous!”
“I’m not jealous,” he says, lying through his teeth.
“Get out.”
“I’m not leaving.”
“You don’t get to show up here like this. You don’t get to throw a tantrum just because I moved on. You made it clear how you felt—or didn’t feel. Remember that?”
Simon’s hands are curled into fists on the table. He looks like he’s about to explode. But instead of yelling, he just leans forward, jaw clenched so hard.
“I fucked up,” he says. “I know I did.”
“Yeah,” you say coldly. “You really did.”
-
Aftar that, he doesn’t text you. After all, he is still blocked, so he can't.
So he writes notes. Slips them under your door, even though you never respond.
"I miss you." "I keep thinking about what you said. You're right. I treated you like shit. I don’t know how to fix it, but I want to try." "Still can’t sleep. I keep rolling over expecting you to be there. You're not."
You don’t write back.
Then the gifts start showing up. A bouquet of roses, your favorite. A playlist on a USB drive. A book you mentioned once, two years ago, that he somehow remembered.
He shows up to your building sometimes. Just sits on the steps, waiting, but not in a creepy way—he knows to keep his distance. But he’s there. Rain, cold, whatever. He waits.
One night, you come home late, and he stands when he sees you. “I’ll go if you want,” he says quietly. “Just... let me know you’re okay.”
You don’t say anything. Just unlock the door and go inside.
He doesn’t leave for another hour.
Two months in.
He catches you on your way to work.
“I’m not asking you to forgive me,” he says, walking beside you like he belongs there. “Just... give me a chance to make it right. Let me earn it.”
You stop walking. Look at him.
He looks rough. The beard’s thicker, the eyes are darker, and the weight of regret sits heavy on his shoulders.
“You can’t fix this with flowers and sad eyes,” you say. “I needed you. And you made me feel like a mistake.”
“I know,” he says, voice cracking. “I know I don’t deserve another shot. But I’m still gonna try. Every day. Until you tell me to stop.”
“And what if I never change my mind?”
“Then I’ll still keep showing up.”
He means it.
You can see it in the way he looks at you now—not hungry, not possessive. Just wrecked. Like he lost something irreplaceable and knows it.
You don’t let him follow you to work.
But for the first time in weeks, you don’t feel as angry. Not because he’s forgiven. Not even close. But because he finally looks like he’s suffering the way you did.
Three months.
You’re out with friends when he shows up again. This time, unarmed thankfully.
You’re tipsy, laughing, leaning into someone else’s shoulder—some other guy’s—and Simon sees it before you do. You turn and there he is, standing just far enough to not make a scene, but close enough to make your heart drop.
You think he’s going to come over. Ruin the night. Scare the guy off again.
He doesn’t.
He just nods at you. One short, respectful tilt of his head. Then he walks away.
No words, nor begging, trying to guilt you into anything.
And that gets to you more than the thousand apologies he could’ve offered.
Four months.
It’s your birthday.
You don’t tell anyone. You keep it lowkey on purpose, like if no one says anything, you can just pretend it’s any other day. You don’t want the reminders. You don’t want the well-meaning texts from people who don’t know what you’ve been dealing with. You definitely don’t want to wonder whether or not Simon remembers.
But he does.
You find out when you get home and there’s a small package sitting at your door. No note. No name. Just your initials written on the wrapping in the handwriting you know better than your own.
You think about throwing it away. You almost do, but curiosity wins, and inside the plain brown paper is a little black box.
You open it and your breath catches.
It’s that necklace you once pointed at in a store window downtown—months ago, maybe even a year. A tiny silver ghost on a chain. You made some stupid joke about how it looked like him: “emotionally unavailable, disappears without warning, weirdly endearing.”
He didn’t laugh at the time. Just rolled his eyes and muttered something like “you’re annoying” under his breath.
You never mentioned it again, but he remembered.
You stare at it for a long time. You don’t cry, don’t smile either. You just sit there on your hallway floor, turning the necklace over in your hands until your legs go numb.
Then you put it back in the box and tuck it in the drawer by your bed.
You don’t wear it, but you decided to keep it.
And the next day, for the first time in months, you catch yourself wondering how he’s doing. Like maybe he’s not just doing this to win, maybe he means it.
Still, you don’t reach out.
Not yet...
Five months.
He finally knocks.
It’s late. Not obscenely so, but enough that you’re in sweats and no bra, and part of you is tempted to pretend you’re not home.
But something in you says open the door.
So you do.
Simon looks like hell. Wet from rain, hair flat to his skull, hands shoved into his jacket like he’s trying to keep himself from reaching for you.
“I wrote it down,” he says, holding out a thick envelope. “Everything I wanted to say. Everything I should’ve said before.”
You stare at it like it might burn you. “Why now?”
His throat bobs. “Because I thought giving you space would be enough. But space doesn’t mean silence. It doesn’t mean I stop showing you I care. I just... I didn’t know how to love you the way you deserved.”
“And now you do?” you ask, arching a brow.
“No,” he says. “But I’m learning. And I’ll keep learning, with or without a second chance.”
You take the envelope. You don’t invite him in. But you do say, “Good night, Simon,” soft and tired.
And he smiles, just barely.
You read the letter that night. You weren’t going to, but you do.
It’s messy. Honest. Full of crossed-out lines and little notes scribbled in the margins. He writes like he talks��short sentences, straight to the point—but you can feel how badly he wants you to understand.
“I didn’t mean to make you feel disposable. That’s not what you are. That’s not what you ever were.”
“I never knew how to show you I gave a fuck. That’s on me.”
“I kept thinking if I didn’t say anything, you wouldn’t expect anything. But you did. And I should’ve met you there.”
“I think about your laugh. I hear it sometimes when I’m dead tired. It makes me hate myself.”
“I’m not asking you to come back. But if you ever do, I swear I’ll never leave you wondering again.”
You fall asleep with the letter in your hands, crumpled a little at the edges.
You don’t message him the next day.
But the next week?
You text one word.
“Coffee?”
PART 3
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do we still hate him guys??
@daydreamerwoah @kylies-love-letter @ghostslollipop @kittygonap @alfiestreacle @identity2212 @farylfordaryl @rafaelacallinybbay
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milawritess · 6 months ago
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Wherever you go, that's where I'll follow — Gojo Satoru
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pairing: Gojo Satoru x fem!reader
synopsis: crushed by the pressure of his work, Satoru and the reader's relationship begins to spiral. You do everything you can to make him happy, but you fear it's not enough. Maybe it never was. After a miscalculation that could have resulted in innocent lives being lost, the situation takes a turn for the worse.
Word count: 17k+ (I'm sorry in advance)
genre: heavy angst with happy ending
warnings: heavy angst, swearing, reader is a motherly figure to Megumi but their relationship is a bit strained, mentions of depression and self-doubt, reader is a sorcerer, fighting, insecurity, arguments, and breakups (?), descriptions of gore, mentions of sexual intercourse (mdni), depictions of a complicated and untraditional relationship, reader gets hurt, hardly edited/proofread (oops), gojo is fed up and mean :(
a/n: this is the first and longest thing I've ever posted on here lol. I felt like there was a lack of sorcerer!reader, so I played around with that concept a little bit. other than potentially shitty writing (sorry for any typos or grammatical errors), I truly hope you enjoy <3
sequel & blurbs
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“Get out.”
The hash sentiment lingers, hanging heavily in the air. 
“Well, hello to you too.”
He hears your feet shuffle across the floor as you stumble to take your shoes and coat off. “I just came to check on you.”
“And I’m fine,” he responds without moving, one arm up, draping over his aching eyes. He lies on the living room couch, one lanky leg propped up at an angle.
“You’re clearly not fine,” you respond, seeming unphased. “Have you eaten anything?” You ask, waiting for a response that never comes. “Okay, I’ll make your favorite ramen.” 
He feels the side of the couch dip, your hand settling on his chest. Your fingers were greedy like you couldn’t stop yourself from playing with the fabric or caressing his taut muscles. Your voice is gentler when you speak this time. “Do you want an ice pack? Some tea?”
You two have done this dance before. You come home to find him exhausted, overworked with a migraine that could tranquilize an elephant. And just like always, you carefully slip his shoes off and unbutton the sleek black jacket to his uniform. It’s hard for him to stay mad about anything when you’re this kind, this caring. 
“Satoru, please say something.”
“There’s nothing to say.”
Your voice was so gentle. So sweet, saccharine, and so fucking patient. A voice you only ever reserved for him and for his ears only. A gentle whisper carried in a gentle breeze. It was his favorite sound. 
But not tonight. 
So you try something else. Sweet kisses along the corner of his lips. You’re even bold enough to move his arm, the arm he was using to desperately block out any light or simulation. You kiss his eyelids, his forehead, and cheeks—feather-light. Your hand slides up his chest before reaching his face. You caress your thumb under his closed eyes, and your other hand finds his hair, gently massaging his temple. He has all of you. Every bit. 
“Let me take care of you.” If it were any other night, your breath fanning his neck would have shattered him; goosebumps would have wrecked his body, he’d shiver, and everything in him would ease, and all of his stress would slip away into nothingness. He never had to be the strongest with you. You would render him down to nothing but a simple man with just a few words. “You don’t look too good, honey. I’m sorry you’re not feeling well.” For a woman so strong in your own right, a woman of unyielding dignity and poise and unwavering determination to succeed, this is his favorite side of you. 
But not tonight. 
When his hand clasps your wrist, he feels your whole body freeze against his. Maybe you were surprised. Maybe you predicted this and were preparing yourself but-
The tongue-lashing dies in his throat when he opens his eyes. Just a peak to your face makes him falter. You were pouting. Worried. “I’m fine.” it’s harsher than you deserve but kinder than the thoughts swirling through his head a second ago. 
He’s agitated. Stuck in the same old system that continues to fuck him over—his students over. 
And yet, you just looked too beautiful. 
You pull away, finally taking the hint. Then, you stand, fully removing yourself from him and stepping away. Your body heat quickly disappears from where you once sat, and he quivers. The room was quiet once again. 
The room remained quiet even as you placed a hot bowl of ramen on the table beside him, a glass of water, and two pills. 
You slept alone that night. 
-
You remember when you first met Megumi. 
“Who the hell are you?” 
You never would have expected that to be the the words from a child you had just met. You raised a brow. “Well, aren’t you a fucking, brat?” 
You were different back then—colder, angrier. You were similar in that sense.
Oddly enough, maybe that’s what gravitated him to you.  
You’re not sure when it happened, but gradually, the harsh edges of you began to… change. Not entirely softened, as thorns remained, but you bloomed, red petals and all. You grew softer, kinder, more patient—and finally—your heart had made space for others. The fear of loss remained, but you had never cared for someone so fragile. No one had ever cried for you, reached for you with small chubby fingers, or depended on you as he once had. You never had someone in your life that needed to be nurtured, protected, and guided. 
He was just a boy. 
Over time, you realized that if you remained unchanged, perhaps he would never grow into the man he needed to be. You’re not sure why he picked you, why he looked up to you of all people, but he did. He found comfort in you and followed you like a little duckling with a little waddle and permanent scowl. 
There wasn't a rhyme or reason. He chose you, and you chose him. 
Soon enough, you were waking him up for school, running your hands through his messy, dark locks. You were making him bento boxes, running to parent-teacher conferences, and having hard but meaningful conversations with him in his room about his troubling behavior. 
Then you were hugging him as he cried, as he revealed the same dark thoughts you once had about yourself. 
You wished this world wasn’t so cruel, so dark. You hope that in a different life, he would have grown into a normal kid, with hopes and dreams and a list of things he wanted to do and go out and experience. You didn’t want him to be shackled to a world that’s left you so scarred.
You fought for any sense of normality you could give him. If that meant confronting the higher-ups, so be it. At times, you even confronted Satoru. 
He was just a boy. 
Fire never harmed you;  it never dared to scorch your skin. You commanded and held domination over nearly every flicker of heat. He was so small when you met him; you remember the first time you saw his small form shiver in the cold. It made you anxious. Despite buying him the heaviest winter coat you could find, you were beside yourself, always wondering—is he warm enough? 
But, long were the days of you bundling him up in his jacket, tying his shoes, and tugging beanies over his dark hair and red ears. Long were the days of you clasping his little hands in yours to bring them warmth when the air grew too bitter. He grew older, smarter, wiser, and stronger. The boy that used to cling to your skirt after a hard day at school now stood inches taller than you. 
You knew that one day he’d leave you, and you were okay with that. Seeing him so ready for the world made you happy. You worried—of course you still worried—but you were so proud. He was hesitant, unsure at times, and sometimes even looked back to you for assurance. 
You were always there, smiling, ushering him along. 
You can do it. I believe in you. 
You grew up together, you think. Sometimes, you wondered if he ever paid for your shortcomings, or if he remembered your failures as a caregiver, but just like you did him, he’d assure you with a soft nudge and a gentle smile. 
He knows you did the best you could with what you had.  
He was just a boy. 
Your boy. 
He wasn’t yours, but you loved him like he was. Only as he grew did you realize the lines you had crossed. 
He doesn’t remember his mother, but you’re sure he remembered her smile, perhaps her touch, or the sound of her laughter. You never meant to impose on her memory.
When it happened, he had just gotten into Tokyo Jujutsu High, and Satoru took him on his first official mission. You no longer had the means of pushing this off; you couldn’t beg Satoru or the higher-ups for another month, another week, another day. Megumi wasn’t a normal kid. He was a sorcerer and needed to start fulfilling his duties and mastering his technique.
“You can’t avoid the inevitable. You can’t protect him forever,” Satoru had once told you. 
You knew he was right. 
You stayed home that day, anxious and worried, but you knew Megumi would be alright. Satoru was with him. Even if the tall man was a bit harder on Megumi than you, you knew he’d keep him safe. 
However, your worst fears came to fruition. Megumi wasn’t the same after that mission. 
You remember. Satoru’s eyes were stern that night while Megumi's eyes never left the floor as he made his way to his room. 
You remember thinking—what could I do to make my boys happy again? 
After all, they were your everything, the reason you stood here now with a full heart. Things were newer for you and Satoru then, but he kissed you that night, warm, large hands gently holding your cheeks. He missed you a little bit extra that day. You were nervous, hesitant to fall into the sanctuary of his embrace, but it was only a matter of time until you were fully, devotedly his.
 “Are you okay?” You had asked, only for him to nod his head. 
“Yeah. Of course, I am, angel. Megumi is shaken up, but he’ll be alright too.” 
You made Megumi’s favorite dinner that night—the same beefsteak he’s raved about since he was only six. Well, he never raved, but you perfectly remember the first time you made it, which happened to be the first time he tried it. He could barely get his chin over the table to scope his food into his mouth. He wasn’t good with chopsticks yet, so he used a little fork, which he held in his tiny fist. His little eyebrows raised before dipping down, creasing at the inner corners as he concentrated on the flavor. He murmured it’s good, and you remember being so proud of yourself. That was one of the first times you felt that you were doing something right by him. You made the same dish on occasion, and time only helped you perfect the recipe. 
Megumi never came out of his room that night. The lights were off when you knocked. Even after hearing no response, you had cracked open the door, poking your head inside. 
“Gumiii,” you stepped into his room. He was on his bed, groaning as you flicked the light on. He turned his back to you. “I made your favoriteee.”  
You had sat on the edge of his bed, a hot plate of food in your hands. “C’mon, it’s the beefsteak you like. Nice and warm.”
“‘m not hungry,” he had grumbled. 
You sighed. “The mission must have been unpleasant.” He remained still. “I’m sorry, Gumi. Satoru said you did well! I’m proud of you—” he flinched from your touch, snapping his arm away from your reach. You froze, having felt the coldness of his rejection. “If you don’t want to talk about the mission, how was your first day at your new school?” You asked. “Do you have any classmates you like?”
“Just quit it already…” he had murmured. “I’m not in the mood.”
Your shoulders slumped. “I’m sorry. I just want to make sure you’re okay. My first mission was tough too, and you already know I wasn’t great at making friends either–” you winced, biting your tongue.  This was coming out all wrong. “… are you okay, Megumi?” 
“I’m fine!” He clipped, pushing himself upright in bed. “Just leave me alone and stop acting like you’re my mom already!”  
You remembered—and just the memory of that night shambled your heart. You could never forget the hurt those words caused and how you couldn’t show it. 
You had smiled wearily. Then, you placed his dinner on his desk. “…you’re right,” you echoed. “I’m not her, never could be. I’m sorry if I imposed. I never meant to.”
You never spoke of the incident, but you remembered that things were tense between Satoru and Megumi for a short while after that. You told Satoru to drop it, but you had a feeling the poor boy received a tongue-lashing from Satoru. You were never sure, though, and you could never prove it. 
You just remembered feeling cracks in the foundation of the home you never knew you had so carefully crafted, brick by brick. Some of the warmth was gone—a warmth you never knew was quite there until it wasn’t. 
Little by little, you pulled back. Megumi moved into the student dorms shortly after, and he needed you less and less. You no longer made him bento boxes or his favorite beefsteak. You bit your tongue with the lectures: Megumi, that’s not nice, or Megumi, you need to have more faith in yourself. You can do it.  
Though the bitter bite of cold never entirely touched you, heated by an unquenchable fame, you pulled back your hand when you reached for him. He left you seared—burned. 
You still worried. You never knew if you were giving him too much or not enough. So, you left most of the mentoring to Satoru now.  It’s been a few months since the incident, and now you only ever speak to him if he approached you first. 
That's why you were happy when you spotted him in town. You offered him a small, shy wave. He unexpectedly approached you and asked how you were and what you’d been up to. However, the most unexpected part was when he asked if you were busy. You shook your head, and it was impossible to hide you beam when he offered to get you hot chocolate from the same coffee shop you used to take him to after school in the colder months.
However, it seemed you weren’t the only one confused by Satoru’s recent behavior. 
“Huh?”
“Gojo didn’t want me going on my mission,” Megumi reiterated. 
You blink a few times, tapping your fingers against the styrofoam cup in your hands. “Huh. He’s never done that before.”
“He doesn’t think I’m ready. He took the mission himself.”
“He said that? That he doesn’t think you’re ready?”
“Well… not exactly.” He scowls slightly, looking down at the cup of hot chocolate. “But he damn well implied it.”
“Gumi,” you frown at the boy. He doesn’t make eye contact with you; he looks forward now, gazing out the window and watching the fresh snow coat the ground. 
He was upset. 
“He could’ve at least taken me with him.”
For a moment, you see that same little boy you met over ten years ago and that same dejected look on his face after being let down one too many times. It breaks your heart. 
“If Satoru took the mission and went alone, I’m sure it’s for a good reason.”
He wants to say more but opts for something quick and sweet. “Yeah. Maybe.”
You have to do something. Quick. Anything to make him a bit happier. “I have a mission later in Osaka. I’ll be catching the 2 pm train. Wanna come? I could use the extra help.” 
He’s quiet for a moment, thinking, you presume, but he nods. “Yeah, sure. I don’t have anything else to do.” 
“Great! And just so you know, we’ll probably be dealing with a grade one or two.” 
He pauses momentarily before calmly asking, “And you need help with that?”
“Uh, yeah. Any help is much appreciated. Plus, I haven’t seen you much recently.” You smile brightly, and he turns his head, eyes finding the ground, looking a little bashful. 
“About that…” 
“Don’t worry about it,” you wave him off. “You’ve been busy with school, and I know that.”
“But that’s not–”
“It’s okay, Megumi,” you smile again, resisting the urge to reach across the table and gently squeeze his hand. “I get it.”
He gives you a look, a small disgruntled scowl. He wanted to say more.
“Alrighty then.” You stand, stretching from sitting in the chair. “I’ll buy you another hot chocolate for the road. We should probably start getting ready to leave.”
-
The mission goes well. An abandoned warehouse in Osaka conjured up a nasty looking grade three, but Megumi held his own just fine—like you expected. He’s grown much stronger and more sure of himself. You’re proud. Seeing how far he’s come certainly puts a smile on your face. He’s not a little boy anymore, you realized. He’s growing into a fine young man. 
Urg. Stop getting emotional. 
However, after stopping for a later dinner, you both arrived home late, around nine or so. 
“You did good tonight, Megumi,” you tell him for the nth time. 
He rolls his eyes, tucking his hands deep into his pockets. “You’ve told me that already.”
“I know, I know. It doesn’t change the fact that I’m proud of you. You’re getting so much stronger.”
Instead of brushing you off like all the other times, he sighs before offering a forced “thanks.” 
“Alrighty then. Try and get some sleep, okay? I’ll see you and the others sometime tomorrow, yeah?”
“Sounds good. Get back home safe.”
You nod, smiling. You make sure to watch him as he goes, making sure he gets inside before turning around. He’s capable of taking care of himself, but some habits never grow old. Making sure he gets inside anywhere safely has always been something you’ve prioritized, whether he was going to a friend's house, school, or boarding the train. 
You loved him like your own, but you knew he wasn't. After all, it was only a few months ago now that he reminded you that he wasn't yours.
You’re not my mom. 
It hurt—it still does—but you never held it against him. You still loved him nevertheless. Your relationship might have shifted but it doesn’t negate the fact that you care for him and would gladly give your life if it meant keeping him safe. 
Then, there was Kugisaki and Itadori—two others slowly weaseling their way into your heart. They’ve helped Megumi so much; he might be too proud to admit it, but they’ve helped him come out of his shell; they were his friends, and you knew they had each other backs. 
You sigh, a translucent cloud of white floating up and above your head. Just like always, your thoughts shift to blue eyes. Satoru. You’ve missed him today. No calls or obnoxious spam texts. It’s not unusual per se, especially when he gets busy. Regardless, you missed him.
But, something is bothering you. He wasn't communicating with you and he usually tells you these things. Even if he didn't have the time to tell you something right away, he'd eventually find a moment to talk to you. This time around, he didn’t. He didn't tell you he was leaving or about the whole ordeal with Megumi.
He just got up and left. You woke to a cold bed and an empty house. No text message, no note with a silly doodle. When you called him in the morning, it went right to voicemail. Eventually, when you pull up your shared text messages to check for anything new, you only saw the message you sent him from the day before. At a loss, you type out a quick message. You didn't think it would make things better, but at least it was something.
I hope you have a good day today :) 
It was all you could really muster up after last night. He seemed so agitated, and so fed up. You blamed it on stress; he isn’t usually like that. Usually, his touch was careful, calculated as if you were fixed of glass. You missed his lame jokes and mischievous grins when he was up to no good. You weren't offered any of that last night. Or the night before. Even the night before that. 
You’re starting to worry. 
He always bounces back so quickly. The only thing that typically gets him this mad are the higher-ups. Which, in Megumi's case, makes sense. You can see why Gojo would intervene if they gave him a dangerous mission. 
But why didn’t he take Megumi with him, at least?
Hm.. maybe it was beyond Megumi's skill set. Would the elders be stupid enough to set him up? They did it to you long ago, but they wouldn’t be bold enough to do it to the boy with the ten shadows technique, would they?
Or maybe Satoru… just doesn’t want to be near you?
Urg. You roll your eyes at your own selfish thoughts. Satoru wouldn’t do something like that. He’s already overworked as it is. Maybe you should make him something. A nice dinner? Or maybe he needed a pick-me-up? Kikufuku? You’re sure you could find the recipe online. 
You're torn, so you decide to make both. Maybe you'll even put on a nice dress. 
You decide to call him, and after a few rings, he answers. “Hey, honey,” you say sweetly, happy he even bothered to answer your call. "I was wondering when you’d be home tonight. I want to make you a nice dinner.”
He’s quiet again—too quiet. “Dinner? Tonight?” 
“Yeah, you’ve been so busy lately. I figured you’d like that.” 
He hums into the phone, sounding a bit lighter. “Dinner does sound nice…” 
Your smile widens. You could hear the underlying stress in his tone; it was flatter than usual, but at least he was trying. “... I’ll even put on your favorite dress?” 
He chuckles a bit. “Tempting, but I’ll probably have to leave after dinner.”
“Oh,” you murmur, wincing slightly at the rejection. Maybe you’ve gotten too spoiled—too accustomed to him pushing off his responsibilities all for the sake of spending a few more moments with you. Were you being too greedy?  “Are you okay? They’re not stretching you too thin, are they?”
He sighs in a carefree tone. “I'm doing fine. Same old thing, just a different day,” is all he offers, but you can tell he’s withholding. 
“I can help, y’know,” you offer gently. “If you have too many missions, I can take a few off your plate.”
“Nah,” he tells you a bit arrogantly. “It’s better if I handle it.”
Now you’re really starting to feel the distance. He usually reserves the softer parts of him for you. You suppose he just didn’t have the patience to do so right now. “You, uh, got into it with the higher-ups I heard,” you mention, trying to keep the conversation going but approaching from a different angle. “Megumi was telling me you even took his mission. I think he was a bit upset you didn’t take him with you. How come you never told me?”
“How come you never told me you were going to Osaka? Or the fact that you took him with you?”
Your stomach twists, unease bubbling in your chest. You didn’t like where this was heading. “I– it’s never bothered you before,” you manage, though your voice falters, dying down into nothing but a whisper. “And it’s not like you’ve been… wanting to speak to me recently. I haven't had the time to tell you much of anything," your trail off, your voice slowly fading before you begin again. "Did I do something to make you mad?”
The silence that follows is unbearable—longer than you ever imagined it could be. “Satoru… Please just talk to me.”
“I gotta go,” his tone is cold, clipped, and final. 
There’s a click as he hangs up, and the silence becomes deafening and threateningly absolute.
-
You realize you miss the way he used to look at you. Not the way he'd gaze at you, but in the way he would gaze into you, as though you were ever the only thing that ever really mattered.
After your last conversation with him, you were unsteady. You hated how you stayed in bed for hours, analyzing everything he's said to you recently, dissecting his every action. You hated how needy you suddenly felt, even while laying there, in his bed, in his clothes. He paused just a second too long before answering you now, as if he had to must up the courage and energy to do so. His laugh no longer came out easily. Others might miss it, but you never could. It was still rambunctious, taking up a whole room, but to you, it felt forced, brittle even. You've known Satoru at his best, and you've also known him at his worst.
When he looks at you now, you wonder if he's really seeing you. Painfully, you realize you haven't seen him; not without his eyeband on at least. Last night you did, for the first time in a while, but he seemed agitated.
The worst part was that you didn't know how to bring yourself to confront him. You struggled, unsure which pretty words and cadence would unluck the distance between you two.
Did something happen on one of his missions? Was he stressed? Had the higher-ups pushed him too far, testing his patience?
Or was it you? Was this somehow your fault?
Did you scare him away? Have you said too much, cared too deeply, loved too loudly?
You weren't sure, but you had to try something.
You were grateful you were cooking him dinner tonight on your day off. It was the least you could do, and you adored taking care of him. You choose hot pot, something you and Satoru have tried at home before. It took over a few hours to prepare, but it was worth it. You made two broths, you sliced up shabu-shabu and wagyu beef and even went to the extent of watching a video to make a dipping sauce. Unfortunately, you forgot one of the ingredients for the kikufuku mochi and didn’t want to risk making something he didn’t entirely like. Luckily, you had spare time to run down to the kikufuku store right before it closed. Of course, you grabbed all his favorite, two boxfuls, in fact. He was a big guy, so you hoped you had more than enough food for him to indulge.
You and Satoru were together. Though he never outright asked you to be his, you knew. It was an unspoken thing, and you were content with that. For as goofy and eccentric as that man could be, it was rather surprising how he was never outright with what he was actually feeling. 
He was damn good at showing it, though. In more ways than one. 
You feel it in the way he’d always reach for you after a nightmare. Shaking, needy hands tightly clasping at your waste, fearful of you disappearing and slipping to a place where he could not reach you. Don’t ever go where I can’t follow. Please. His face would nuzzle into your neck, sharply inhaling your scent. You’d hold him, whispering endless promises. I’m here. I’ll always be here. Or it's okay. Breathe, my love. I’m with you. 
You feel it on the nights he’d pin you beneath him, his grunts and moans echoing in your ears as he fills you so completely. He’d beg, no demand you—tell me you’re mine. Only mine. 
And, of course, you’d eagerly nod, overwhelmed with the pleasure only he could strum out of you so perfectly. ‘m yours. All of me—yours. 
You feel it in his protective gaze, his eagerness to hold you in the life vest of his arms. You felt it late into the night, damp bodies pressed against one another; low lighting, quiet laughter, and secrets revealed. His dreams, his wishes, his what ifs—the parts of him that no one knew or considered. Or when he handed you a silver key with a handsome and cheshire grin. What do you say? He was lovely, every bit of him, especially his gentle and selfless heart that you would never take for granted like the rest of the world seemed to. 
You feel it when he comes home from overseas and how his strong arms hold onto you just a bit longer, a bit tighter. You feel it with how he smiles into your neck or that one time at the airport when he lifted you up and spun you around, uncaring who saw. 
You feel it in the way that it was unspoken. You feel it in his cursed energy and how it perfectly intertwined with yours, reaching for you, comforting you when his hands could not. You especially feel it in the necklace he gifted you—the one your fingers were playing with now: a silver chain with cerulean sapphires, the same breathtaking shade of his eyes. His cursed energy, carefully imbued into the stones, was like carrying a piece of him with you—always, wherever you may go, and it rests directly above your beating heart. 
He might not voice it, but you feel it. He loved you. And you certainly loved him. 
So when had it become so hard to reach him? Why does he seem so intangible all of a sudden? Something deep and unsettling blooms in your stomach. 
And now that you think about it…
When was the last time you two did any of that? When was the last time his careful hands caressed you?
Only Satoru could make you this worried or make you feel this displaced. A sense of panic strikes you, and you pull out your phone to text him when you realize he’s thirty minutes late. Usually, that wouldn’t bother you, but–
After only three rings, you're sent to voicemail. When you check his location, he’s at the high school. Should you check on him? Or would that make him… mad?
He toru! Dinners ready. When do you think you’ll be home? Miss you. 
You bite your lip. He quickly read your message, but those three little bubbles never show up. 
Nothing. Just nothing. 
Maybe he’s staying up late writing the report for his latest mission? 
“eek!” Your phone pings, and after a round of hot potato, you see he’s texted you back. 
Only to be met with more disappointment. 
Dealing with something urgent. Don’t wait up. 
You frown, knowing you should drop it, but you can’t. 
Satoru…
He’s typing faster now. What?
You pause, thumbs hovering over letters you hesitate to type. What’s going on? You’ve been off lately. 
I’m fine. Just busy. 
Do you want me to bring you dinner to the High School?
Those three bubbles appear and disappear more times than you can count. No. I said don’t wait up. 
You know I don't sleep well without you.
He responds in a heartbeat. It wouldn’t be the first time. 
Your patience is wearing thin for the first time since this ordeal started. Are you saying you won’t be coming home tonight? 
You’re offered no response. He doesn’t even open your message. For the second night, you lay in a cold bed. Except, Satoru doesn’t come home. 
Only he could fracture you so completely. 
-
During your next mission, you brought the whole trio along. According to the report you were handed, you were only dealing with a grade three, but there was also an Infestation in the area. You could use the backup.
You had initially asked Megumi, but once Yuji caught wind, he was adamant that he tagged along, and, according to Nobara she had nothing else better to do. 
“Are you guys sure? It’s your day off.”
Yuji shrugs, both arms up, hands up and behind his head. “Yeah, I’m game.”
“Me too,” Nobara voices with a small glint in her eyes. “I got something new I want to try out anyway. We didn’t get to go on a mission last week as it is.”
You paused. "Huh? Gojo didn’t take you on any?”
“Nah,” Yuji shakes his head. “I think he’s been busy or something.” He looks at Kugisaki. “Hasn’t Gojo-Sensei seemed a little… off?”
Nobara nods. “Uh yeah. He hasn’t been himself at all. We figured you’d know something,” Nobara says, curious eyes scanning you. 
“Huh… I’m not sure. We haven’t gotten around to talking lately.”
Megumi hums, though it sounds more suspicious than his usual passive tone. 
Though they weren’t necessarily your students, you figured there was no harm in taking them. You've done it before and having them around was always like a breath of fresh air—reminding you of why Satoru dedicates himself so fully to his cause and being a teacher. They give you a reason to get stronger and keep fighting. You loved these kids and all their bickering. 
Except, this mission doesn’t go anything like you had expected. The report was wrong—a grade two was ambling through the abandoned schoolhouse. That was fine; the four of you were more than enough to kill it. The infestation was a bit overwhelming, but you had their backs, and they were nothing but pesky small curses lower than a grade four. 
Everything went well when the ambush happens. You all saw it: right in front of your eyes, a grade one emerging from the shadows, born into something nasty. It's skin oozed a sickly black slime that clung to its misshapen body. Its face—or lack there of—was dark and amorphous, split by a jagged maw that stretched impossibly wide, revealing rows of sharp serrated teeth, ready to cut and slash through flesh like a meat grinder. Other that is daunting appearance, the only other notable thing about it was its speed.
You told the kids to back down, but it was already too late. They were already involved, stuck in the heat of battle and fighting as a seamless unite. They were more than capable of standing on their own. 
But you needed them out of here. Your obligation was to protect them no matter how eager they were to help. However, before you could think of your next move, the curse made one last self-preserving attack. It opened in wide jaws, releasing several red beamed energy blast aimed directly at stone pillars. 
You had no time to think, only react. In an instant, you surged forward towards the trio, faster than their eyes could react. Grunting, you knocked them back, glass shattering as you kicked them through a window. You felt the impact ripple through your body, fully knowing you knocked the wind out of Megumi and Yuji. However, they recovered quickly, their instincts sharp enough to catch Nobara–
Right in time before the building collapsed. 
The building groaned like a wounded beast, its entire frame buckling from lack of support. Stone walls crumbled into clouds of dust and debris, windows shattered in explosive bursts, steel beams twisted and snaped with sickening shrieks. The ground trembled violently as the structure gave way, collapsing into a chaotic heap of concrete, rubble, and smoke, swallowing everything beneath. Including you.
You survived. Reinforcing your body with cursed energy made you strong enough to withstand the impact, and your heavenly restriction certainly helped. Nevertheless, you still took on quite a bit of damage from the tons of metal and concrete.
You woke up under the rubble with a startling gasp, choking on the dust. Were you out for a few seconds? Minutes? You were unsure, but the only thing pushing you to stand was the panic coated in Megumi’s voice. He was calling for you, and so were the others. You could hear the strain in their voices, the utter distraught. You healed your broken leg and the gash on the corner of your forehead, ceasing your gushing blood. You gathered yourself and your strength before pushing. They found you quickly after that, noticing a heap of rubble moving. They ran, rushing to help you push back concrete that threatened to suffocate you. You never did like tight spaces. 
Thankfully, you were alright. The kids were safe as well.
However, the curse had escaped. Megumi was visibly shaken, his fingernail cracked, bruised, and bleeding from digging urgently through the rubble to find you. 
Everyone was on edge. It wasn't their fault you didn't react quickly enough. You were more than capable; maybe that's why the failure stung so much.
You let yourself down. You let them down.
You were spiraling into a dark place quickly. The guilt threatened to swallow you whole. Gojo was still nowhere to be seen. You didn't have the strength to call him. You’re not sure what you could even say. You’ve fucked up before, but never to this extent. Not to where a whole building collapsed. 
“Good morning. A tragic incident occurred last night when an abandoned school collapsed around 7 pm. Authorities are currently investigating the cause, and preliminary reports suggest that the collapse could have been due to a structural weakness—one of the many reasons why the school was abandoned in the first place. We will continue to monitor the situation as more information becomes available–"
Megumi gently grabs your phone and locks your screen. Wordlessly, he shakes his head before pocketing your device. You’re too exhausted to ask for it back. 
“Are you sure you’re okay, Sensei?” Yuji's voice was soft, the first voice to break the ice. You look up from your hands, unsure how long you’ve been lost in thought. You force a small smile as you gaze at the three kids. You were sitting across from them in the waiting area outside the council room. 
“I’m alright. Are you guys?"
“We’re all fine,” Megumi cuts in quickly. “We’re– we’re more than okay.”
“That's good,” you trail off. “That's really good.”
Uncertainty hung dangerously in the air. What happened now? You were okay, but for how long? 
You knew you were in for a lashing with all the collateral damage you caused. It was supposed to be a simple mission. This wasn't supposed to happen. You four were fine, but did anyone else get hurt? 
You flinch at your own thought. You don't think you could live with yourself if innocent lives were lost.
“Sensei?” Yuji's soft, unsure voice cuts in once more. When your eyes make contact, he smiles brightly. You can tell it’s forced. “After this, wanna go get something to eat? There’s this great sandwich shop down the street!”
“Y–yeah!” Nobara sits up straight after being less than conspicuously nudged by Yuji. “It’s pretty good. We went the other day–”
The council room door creaked open. The higher-ups were waiting, shrouded in shadows and faces hidden. Even if you couldn't see them, the tension was palpable. Even without seeing them directly, you could sense their anger, smell it as it rolled off of them in a quiet, unspoken fury. You glance at the kids once more, this time with a gentle, reassuring smile curling at your lips. 
Everything would be okay.  
-
Everything was, in fact, not okay. 
The air was heavy as you entered your office. Your limbs ached, your head throbbed, and every breath felt like dragging glass through your lungs. You had thought the worst of it was over, and slowly, you felt your body begin to shut down, but only when there were no prying eyes to see how you compensated for your injuries. Even after using RCT, you had a limp—your bones were mended but not quite right. Your head was no longer bleeding—but still, you weren't quite right. 
You dismiss it as exhaustion; after all, you had just learned RCT not too long ago. Maybe you missed something. However, this wasn’t anything you couldn't handle on your own. You could see Shoko, but why bother her? You’ve endured far worse. Dealing with a sore body and a headache for the next few days wasn’t out of your jurisdiction. 
When you open the door, a flickering lamplight reveals a tall frame standing by your desk. Even before your eyes dance upon his sharp and still silhouette, the air shifts—your soul already knows he is there. Satoru.
But, his eyes never meet yours; you weren’t blessed enough to see them, a bright blue illuminating in the absence of light. His eyes were covered with a familiar dark cloth. However, you didn’t need to see them to know that the usual warmth they held as he gazed upon you was gone. In its place was a coldness that turned your stomach.
“Satoru–”
“I know,” he says, voice clipped as he turns to face you. “I read the reports.” Your heart sinks as he haphazardly tosses the report down to your desk. 
You’re exhausted, unsure of where to even begin. So many questions floated in your weary mind. Where were you? When did you get here? Please, don’t be mad at me. 
It’s funny how all your dignity, poise, and strength to endure are gone with him. You already took one berating from the elders, and you’re not sure you could handle another. 
Not from him. 
“But, I want to hear it from you.” He stepped closer, his height making him all the more domineering. “What happened out there? And how the hell are my students caught up in all of this?”
“The report was wrong. It was a grade two, not three, but we handled that just fine. We cleared out the area and completed the mission, but we were ambushed. A grade one appeared, destroyed the pillars, and–” You hesitate, unable to form the words. “Well, you know what happened.” He’s quiet, too quiet for your liking. “I–I did everything I could, Satoru. The students were fine, but the curse got away.”
“Everything you could?" His voice echoes. "I don’t need excuses. Certainly not from you. You endangered them—all of them. They’re not even your students!” He snapped, his voice rising in a way you’ve never heard before.
You bite back the lump forming in your throat. “I thought you, out of anyone, would understand the circumstances.”
“...Understand?” He utters back, a quiet fury rolling off him in waves. 
 “I made sure that–”
“You failed,” he snaps, voice laced with malice. “Enough. Just stop it. You were reckless and went behind my back, and you let a pathetic grade one get the best of you.”
Your chest tightened, crumbling at the weight of his tone. “Went behind your back? I did no such thing.”
“They could have been hurt because of you!” You visibly flinch, his words carrying more weight than the debris that had buried you—broken bones and all. 
“I’m recommending you be demoted to grade two.” 
What?
“You can’t do that. Satoru, you can’t–”
“I can,” he said coldly. “and I will. You failed, and not only did you fail, you went behind my back and involved my students. Your recklessness caused this,” disdain coats his voice, and he sucks his teeth. “I was gone for two fucking seconds, and you damn near ruined everything. People could have died. My students could have been injured. So stop being a nuisance and just do as you're told from here on out.”
No. 
No, no, no, no. 
You fought for years to get to grade one. A woman with a name of no renown—this society was never in favor of you; the system was set up for you only to fail time and time again. For years, you were held at grade three, then grade two, all because of your name’s sake—all because you were a woman. You didn’t have the luxury of being as good as other sorcerers; you had the burden to be better. 
Even now, at grade one, they continue to undermine you and undervalue you. You knew you didn’t have room to make mistakes, for they would tarnish every bit of good you have done. You thought Satoru understood that. You thought he viewed you as an equal, someone strong enough to stand by him. You thought he valued you, respected you. 
You never thought a mistake, a stupid mistake, would lead to this. 
It’s not fair. It’s not fucking fair. 
“This has nothing to do with my rank. You don’t believe me. You don't trust me. After everything–”
Hearing his scornful laugh, your vision begins to blur. “Don’t make this personal. You fucked up, and now I have to clean up your mess.”
Your ears begin ringing. The pounding in your head becomes too much and threatens to crack your skull open once more.
“But it is, isn’t it?” You whisper. How could it not be personal with how he's been treating you for days? “You haven't been able to look at me in weeks. You speak to me as if I’ve become nothing but a burden to you—a nuisance. What did I do to deserve this?”
He remains silent, the muscles in his jaw ticking as he grits his teeth. Point proven.
Your heart painfully twists with each beat. “Do you even… care about me anymore?” You’re not sure why you say it, why the words slip past your lips, but they do.
He read the report and he hadn't even asked if you were okay. Maybe it was a selfish thought, but it makes your chest ache. You just wanted to go home, crawl in bed and hold him. However, you knew that wasn't in the cards right now.
“Don’t twist this into something it’s not.”
Your voice finally wavers before him, cracking as you press on, desperate for him to understand—desperate to have him by your side as he has been for so many years.
“You’re casting me aside like I’m... worthless."
It was cruelty, a quiet and deafening insult for him to demote you of your status—but more specifically, your place beside him. That hurt runs deep, to the point that feelings of betrayal start seeping into your veins, poisoning you, antagonizing you. Belittling you. It was a sharp dagger you never expected—searing with a hatred that threatened to cripple you. This wasn’t just about your position. He was a man of unchallenged stature, of the highest status and regard, lowering you, demeaning you with his every word, every action. 
When did things go so wrong?
Yet, even now, you question yourself. Were you being dramatic? Were you taking this too personally? Were you being selfish?
Because he was right. Every word he's said so far was right. You failed. You put them in danger.
You stand there, a hollow feeling growing in your chest. The sting of Satoru’s words cut deeper than any blade you’ve faced. His jaw tightened, his gaze hard as steel and cold as ice. “You gave me what I never asked for.”
“Don't you dare!” You snap, finger trembling as you point his way with an accusatory jab. “Don’t you dare pretend this is nothing.  You know me better than anyone. How could I not take this personally? I’ve done nothing but stand by you, love you, trust you–”
“Like I said, I never asked for any of that,” he utters sharply, his carefully composed exterior shattering. “Whatever we were was nothing more than fucking convenience.” 
Suddenly, he stops, freezing at the onslaught of his own lethal words. His next words seemed to die in his throat. The damage was done. 
Exhausted, defeated, numb. His words hit you like a death blow. “... Convenience?” Echoing the very word that came from his lips—a sound you hardly recognize comes from your mouth, a small slip of the anguish tormenting and swelling in your body escapes. 
The necklace around your neck, the very one he had given you, seemed to pulse against your skin, warm and alive. It carried a piece of him, a piece of you, a guiding hand in the absence of light: a thread, an anchor—a way home. 
Suddenly, you hated it. Hated the way it sat so close to your heart, hated the warmth, his energy; you hated that, even now, his words cutting so deep, unraveling the fabric of your being, it comforted you, reaching for you. 
You yanked it off, the chain snapping in two as you held it in your trembling hands. 
He falters, his whole being frozen. “What are you doing?” he asked, quiet and tense, blanketed in uncertainty. 
“I don’t want it,” you say, voice quivering, threatening to fail you at any moment. His energy—the only energy that blended so perfectly with yours—reached for you, and so did his trembling hands. Reflexively, you flinched away, retreating further into the room and further from him. “Don’t,” you shake your head. “Don’t touch me. Not with your hands, not with your energy. Don’t.”
Silent tears stream down your face. You are unable to look at him, and your breathing is shallow and unsteady. You open your hand, letting the necklace drop to the floor. The faint sound of metal hitting wood echoes in the suffocating silence of the room. 
There’s a soft knock on the door. It creaks, slightly opening. “... Y/n sensei?” came an unsure voice.
You stiffen, and suddenly, you can sense them, three nervous students standing outside your door. Too caught up with Satoru, you had entirely missed them. You clear your throat and dry your cheeks with the back of your hand before turning to the door. You walk over, opening the door wide enough to see them. 
“Sorry if we’re interrupting, but we just wanted to know if you still wanted to come out for dinner with us...” 
Fuck. How much did they hear?
You take a breath, and it’s shakier than you anticipated. “Yeah, sure. That sounds nice. Let me grab my jacket, okay.”
Yuji only offers an unsure smile. Norbora has a hard time even looking at you, while Megumis's eyes are solid and unyielding, glaring right past you. His hands were in his pockets, balled into tight fists.
You don’t know what to do other than quickly turning. Within a few ushered strides, you were at your desk, grabbing your coat off your desk chair; you’re careful to avoid Gojo, who manages to plaster on that big fucking grin. 
“Heard you guys were up to no good while I was away.”
“We were fine,” Megumi interjects before Yuji could open his mouth. “More than fine.” 
“Y–yeah, everything ended up being just fine. Y/n-sensei made sure of that,” Nobara awkwardly adds, shifting her weight on her feet. 
“Ah,” Gojo nods. “Well, make sure you get some rest tonight. We’ve got a long day tomorrow! You guys will be training with the second years!” 
You hated how he could act as if everything was alright while you were fighting back tears. It was another jab, a suckerpunch to the gut. 
You just needed to get out of there. 
-
After dinner with the kids, you headed out on your own the following day. You went home, stuffing some clothes in a bag before spending the night at a cheap motel. Before getting with Satoru, you always floated from place to place, never truly settling. Those days, all you carried on you was your backpack. You didn’t have a home or many possessions you could call your own. You just had yourself.  
I guess old habits die hard. 
Megumi was the first to text you: I went to Gojo's house today and didn’t see you. 
All good! I’ve been busy running errands.
Nobara text you sometime after.
Hey Sensei!! Let me know if you’re available today! Let’s go shopping!
You responded rather quickly. Sorry, I’m not around today. Maybe ask Maki? Or maybe Yuji and Megumi would like to tag along.
But guys suck :(
Then, there was Yuji: Hey, Sensei! Let me know if you want ramen! The gang and I got you since you covered for us the other night! I even got coupons! 
You weren’t sure what to say. You always covered for their meals (no exceptions), but you knew they were just trying to be kind. You double-tapped and hearted the message. 
You appreciated them more than anything, but frankly, it was a bit embarrassing. You never meant for them to overhear you and Satrou that night in your office, and you were never one for pity. If it were anyone else, you would have called them out and told them off. However, you wouldn’t dream of doing that to the kids. They were trying to support you in the only way they knew how, but it wasn’t their responsibility to worry about you. 
Surprisingly, Shoko was the next person to contact you. You never stopped by my office. I’m assuming you’re alright?  
Smiling gently, you responded. Yeah, no injuries to report. 
A building collapsed on you.
You scoff, imagining her deadpan expression. Heavenly restriction, remember?
That doesn’t mean you can’t get hurt. 
Your thumbs hover over the keyboard. Yeesh. Just meet me at the bar you like downtown. 
That’s where you are now, Shoko’s favorite bar, tossing back your third shot. ”Take it easy. I don’t feel like dragging you home tonight.”
“Ah. I’m alright, Shoko.”
“You don’t look it.” 
“Neither do you with those bags under your eyes.”
She brings her drink to her lips, mumbling “touché” before taking a swig. “Do you want to talk about it?”
Vivid memories pressed to the front of your mind of the building collapsing. “Satoru is demoting me. After the elders ripped into me, I found him waiting for me in my office.”
“He– what? Jeez,” she took another sip of sake. “Out of everything, I didn’t expect that.” 
“I– we haven’t been doing too good. I’m not sure if there even is an us after last night.”
“Huh. He did seem a little out of it today.”
“Somehow, I kinda doubt that.” There’s a beat of silence, and you swirl the liquid in your cup. 
“If it means anything, he asked me about you. Asked if you were alright.” 
You smile a bit sardonically.  If Satoru really wanted to find you, you knew he could, as he had the means to do so. From here, you were only about five miles away from his estate. It’s not like you were too for his eyes to see.  Suddenly, that thought bothers you, and you find yourself almost subconsciously concealing your cursed energy.  
“Is that why you texted me?”
She gives you a weird look. “Partially. I had my own concerns.” 
“Like what?”
“If I’m being honest with you, you’re not great at RCT. I wanted to check and make sure everything was alright. It eventually catches up with you if you don’t do it correctly. I’ve seen it cause irreparable damage before.”  
“Ah. I guess that makes sense.”
“You should come to my office tomorrow so I can check–”
“I think I’m gonna quit.”
“…what?”
“I mean, that’s what they really want, right?”
“If you do that, they’ll find the easiest excuse to label you as a traitor. A cursed user.”
“Don’t you think I know that? Since day one, they’ve been trying to paint me as a villain.” 
“So don’t give them what they want,” Shoko bites back. She pinches the bridge of her nose with her thumb and index finger. “Listen, I can’t stop you. You are going to do what you want to do at the end of the day, but you don’t need to do this. You made a mistake.”
“I’m just tired,” you tell her truthfully. “For months, I’ve been pretending, going through the motions. I've been miserable. Megumi hasn’t wanted me around much. He’s older now, and he doesn’t need me anymore–”
“Of course he does,” Shoko cuts you off. “He’s still a kid.”
“And I’m not his mother,” you retort bitterly. “Then, there’s Satoru. He’s been so distant.  He used to always be in my corner and make everything better, but I don’t even have that now. Now, all of the jujutsu society thinks I’m a liability. He thinks I’m a liability. Maybe it’s why he’s grown to resent me so much.”
“Please. Just stop talking,” Shoko remarks, overwhelmed with how quickly you were talking. She wasn’t necessarily a fan of conversations like these, but at least she listened. “I’m here if you ever need anyone. And please, don’t let this fester. I would rather not lose another friend.” She takes a large gulp this time, finishing her drink before gesturing for a refill. “Tsk. Satoru is complicated—I get it—but he wouldn’t want you to leave. Neither would Megumi. That kid loves you. Maybe you and Gojo just need a break.”
A break? Ha. That was one way of putting it. However, it already felt much more like a breakup, and its permanence frightened you. Like many other things in your relationship, it was never voiced but certainly felt. 
“Yeah,” you say softly, body buzzing as you down your fourth shot. “Maybe you’re right.”
-
You start walking home after having drinks with Shoko. It was a long walk, and you took your time. You weren’t in a rush to head home to potential chaos. The thought of staying at a hotel crossed your mind, but you had nothing to change into. Frankly, it didn’t matter where you went either. It’s not like you’d be able to sleep any better. 
Though, it’s not like you were going back home to anything good. You were suspended without pay; you couldn’t go near the school grounds or exercise any curses—a stipulation you rolled your eyes at. If they thought just a few measly words would stop you from exercising a curse, they would be more idiotic than you thought. 
Still, maybe it’s good to take some time off. Maybe you should stay at the hotel. If you were lucky, they’d have a washer and dryer. 
Then, your phone starts to ring—a unique ringtone that a white-haired idiot assigned to his contact one day after you let him “borrow” your phone. He even changed his contact photo; years later, you never had the heart to change it. 
Your heart aches when you see the contact photo of him, his goofy smile and gorgeous eyes peeking over his black shades. You answered hesitantly after a few rings. 
“Hello?”
“Heyyy,” you hear, his voice light and cheery yet, lacking its usual spark. “Where are you? I know I missed dinner the other night so I picked up your favorite on my way home!” 
Back to normal? Just like that?
You take a breath, reeling in your emotions. It wasn’t normal, per se, but you could tell he was trying, stepping cautiously over the ice he knew could shatter at any moment. 
“I’m not home, right now.”
“Huuuh?” You can hear the slight whine in his voice, and you can imagine him pouting like a small child. You expect him to carry on with his theatrics, but he hesitates. “When do you think you’ll be home then?”
“Uh, I don’t really know,” you trail off, unable to keep up his faux mirth and bravado. 
 “Well, if you don’t want to sleep next to me tonight, I can just take the guest bedroom!” For a moment, he sounds hopeful.
Honestly, he’s just making your head spin. 
“Honestly, I think it’s best if I stay out of the house for a little while, Gojo.”
There’s a beat of silence before you hear his nervous laughter. “Gojo?” he remarks dejectedly. “Can’t remember the last time you called me that.”
You were unsure what to say; you hadn’t even realized you initially referred to him by his last name until he pointed it out. You want to tell him sorry—for everything, but your tongue tenses in your mouth, and your throat threatens to close up. You hated it when he got like this, and typically, you’d do anything to make him smile again. 
But you’re hurt, and he caused that hurt. 
“I wanted to talk to you about the other day,” he adds quickly, unable to withstand your silence. 
“What’s there to talk about?” You ask softly. “What done is done. I messed up.”
He’s quiet for a moment. “You’re right. It can’t be undone now. But that’s not what I wanted to talk to you about.”
Your stomach drops your heart twists and aches. Was he going to officially end things with you? A bitter, more cruel half of you whispers—you weren’t even officially together to begin with. However, none of that even matters; he has too much of you, too many pieces of your frail heart in the palm of his hands. You were irrevocably his, but was he ever yours? 
Just a few weeks ago, you thought you would have an entirely different answer than the one you have now. You're too afraid to face him or the truth. You were guilt-ridden, your pride and dignity torn to shreds. Hearing that he no longer wishes to be with you would be too much. 
Honestly? 
You’re not sure how you’d react. If you’d sob, if you’d remain stoic, or if you’d flip a table and trash every one of your possessions. You’re at wit's end, and the level of fallout threatening to break free from you was immeasurable. 
So, you finalize what you had been contemplating just five minutes ago. “I think I’m going to stay at a hotel, Gojo. I need space. Time to think.” 
“I don’t want us to go to bed mad at each other,” he says lowly, his voice reverberating through the phone. You shiver. “It doesn’t feel right.”
You hated this. You fucking hated this. 
Your chest tightens, and your knees weaken. You wanted to give in. He always had that power over you. He ruled your heart so effortlessly. You yearned for him, your heart singing a million love songs, beckoning him back to you. 
But you couldn’t. You were too mad. You felt cast aside as if you were nothing but an afterthought—after all these years. Yet again, you feel the foundation of your home cracking, and your knees go weak yet again. You take a shuddering breath right before repeating the exact words he threw at you just a few nights prior—words that so effortlessly dismantled your spirit. “It wouldn’t be the first time.”
-   
You’ve always had a habit of running. It was easier for you than most. You figured you’d go back to that cheap motel in Tokyo, but you were too restless. Too angry. Feelings of betrayal ran deep, and the guilt nipped away at you until there was only a void. 
Before you could leave, though, you call a number you knew by heart. Stepping onto the train and holding your phone to your ear, it rings. For a moment, you assume he’s asleep. It was getting late, but after the fifth ring, the line clicked. A groggy voice peaks through. 
“Sensei? What’s going on?”
“Megumi,” you breathe out. “Hi. Sorry to wake you.”
“It’s fine.”
“Nozomi 1, departing from Tokyo and heading to Kyoto, will depart shortly. Please be careful of your footing while boarding. Please refrain from using mobile phone inside the train–“
“You’re leaving?” The tiredness in his voice is replaced by something else you can’t quite place. 
“Only for a short while. It’s not like I’ll be working anytime soon,” you chuckled nervously. “But I just wanted to let you know. It didn’t feel right leaving without speaking to you first.” 
“Oh,” is all he can muster up at first. “I– when will you be back?”
“I’m not sure,” you answer him honestly. “A few days, maybe.” 
“Well… Can we visit you? I’d go alone, but I think Yuji and Nobara would kill me if I did.” 
Oh. You hadn’t expected that. You close your eyes, taking a deep breath. “Um, yeah. When I figure out where I’m staying, I’ll let you know.”
He sounds worried. “You don’t know where you’re staying yet?”
You snicker. “Ha, this is, uh, kinda an impromptu thing.” 
“… and you’re sure alright?”
“Yes, yes, I’m alright. I just wanted to tell you.”
You can tell he’s not exactly satisfied, but he isn’t one to stop you. “Well, text me where you’ll be staying in a few hours. You should probably hang up now, though, and figure it out.”
You smile softly to yourself. He always was a kind boy—kinder than he’d ever reveal. “Yeah, that sounds like a good idea. Goodnight, Megumi.”
“Night.. I’ll call you later. Be safe.”
When you hang up, you feel a bit better. 
The first night was hard—really hard. Sleeping away from Satoru was incredibly difficult, but so were his sharp words that relentlessly bounced around in your mind.  You found no peace by your window, watching the last of that day's sunlight slipping away behind the horizon, casting long shadows over the dead trees covered in snow.
You could almost feel his presence, like the cast of your shadow on a wall—following you, mirroring your every move. Your phone never rang with his ringtone, your phone never buzzed with a new text. Yet you stared at the shadows for a bit longer, a bit more intensely, waiting for two blue eyes to illuminate the space. They never did. 
Kyoto's stillness seemed to reflect your own, waiting for something to change, waiting for something dead and wilted to bloom once more. 
However, even all the way over in Kyoto, bad luck seems to follow you like the plague. You were walking to a small corner market to grab something to eat when you felt the disturbance in the air—tasted it on your tongue. You hoped that surge of cursed energy wasn’t what you thought it was. You would have loved to be proven wrong, but your instincts were keen like a hound trained to hunt. 
A curse womb opened right above a Kyoto High school. 
You were definitely getting fired after this. 
You knew a cursed object was most likely responsible for this. Considering it happened at a school, you were more than willing to bet a strong cursed object was placed there, most likely intended to ward off any other strong curses that might otherwise appear in the area. You assumed the seal broke, probably after hundreds of years of suppressing the power of the object. You’ve dealt with a case like that before.
You couldn’t have been more wrong. 
Three stupid students—ghost hunting of all things—removed the seal. The decorated white cloth tightly wrapped around a black skull was torn, and its viscous cursed energy soared, tinting the sky black. 
“Oh, you’ve gotta be fucking kidding me,” you hissed under your breath when you slammed open the classroom door. “This way, c’mon!” You didn’t have to tell them twice. Book it, and you stay by their side for as long as you can. You had to put up your veil, but only after they were far enough. 
You got impatient, however, especially towards the kid who had been recording everything up until now, where you crushed his phone in your hand. 
“Wha– hey! You're gonna pay for that!”
“What the hell is more important? Recording or your fucking lives? Shut up and run!” 
The air suddenly cracks with a tension that makes the hairs on the back of your neck stand up. It’s here. You could feel it—the dark, oppressive presence creeping across the courtyard, lurking. You yourself could see it with your eyes, but you felt it. 
Your senses were better than most. It was partially why you and Yuji got along and trained together so well. You were just like him when you were younger. Granted, he wasn’t born with cursed energy like you were, but your heavenly restrictions were nearly identical. 
You stop running when you reach the edge of the courtyard, but those three kids carry on in a scram. Holding the cursed object in your hands, you raise the skull in the air. It takes a considerable amount of force, but you crush the skull, black dust coating your hand. There’s a hollow screech, and you hope that’s the end of it. 
Of course, your bad luck persists. 
Typically, destroying the cursed object that’s created a cursed womb kills it or at least nullifies it. The exception is when the curse is an S-grade; those wombs are damn near impenetrable. 
Destroying the object seemed only to irritate the curse as it began crawling out of a bloody sac. 
You hold up your fist, index, and pointer finger together, pointing to the sky along with your thumb. A crimson veil pours down, covering the entirety of the school. However, you sense three others within your veil just as you seal off the area. 
“Yo, Y/n sensei!! What the hell are you doing here, loca!” A deep laugh echoes across the courtyard. 
Christ. You knew that voice from anywhere. 
You glance over your shoulder and see a few unexpected faces. Utahime and two other students—Miwa and Todo who looks way happier than he should be, considering the circumstances. 
The newly born curse loomed menacingly overhead, its red eyes gleaming like coals in a dying fire. It was tall, with protruding joints that snapped into place. Its black and sleek hair extended beyond its long, contorted body. Its face was painted white and cracked as if crafted of aged porcelain. Its kimono was white, stained with splashes of red and black goo. You stood firmly in place, fire crackling at your fingertips, your breath steady but sharp in the cold night air. Todo and Miwa joined your side quickly, and Utahime offered you a firm nod from the sidelines. She was entrusting you with her students.  
Quickly, the courtyard became a battlefield, filled with the crackle of burning energy and the hum of raw power. 
The curse lunged, zipping through the air. You were faster, your body twisting and moving with fluid grace. You raised your hand to strike, a jet of flame bursting forward, crackling against the air. The curse shrieked as the fire seared its back, black smoke rising from its melted skin. 
It recovered too quickly for your liking. It rolled through the flames like water through a sieve, reforming and lunging again, its claws gleaming.
Your senses were on fire—every shift in the air, every sound, every movement was magnified. You could hear the heartbeat of the curse, the faintest tremor of its form as it coiled to strike. You could smell the thick, sour scent of decay that clung to it like an ancient smog. And you could feel it—the deep, heavy weight of power pressing down on you, making your muscles tighten and strain against the oncoming attack.
The curse moved to strike again, but you were already there, rolling beneath it, body twisting in a perfect arc, and feet hitting the ground in a spring-loaded motion that sent you leaping upward. Your fist, wreathed in fire, crashed into the creature’s chest.
The explosion of heat sent the curse reeling, but it was only a momentary distraction. It retaliated, slashing the air with a massive, clawed hand. Three energized strikes were headed your way. You reacted with seconds to spare, but Miwa stood directly in the line of fire. You knew her simple domain wouldn’t be summoned fast enough, but she didn’t. It would be a miscalculation that ended her life. 
The claws tore through your side, then whipped down in a sickening arc, ripping clean through your arm. The pain came in an instant—a blinding, searing agony that burned through your body. You didn't even have time to scream.
You staggered back, a cry escaping Miwa’s lips as she looked at the bloody stump where your arm used to be. Blood poured and squirted from the wound, but there was no time for that. 
"Get back!" you shouted to the blue-haired girl, voice raw. She wasn’t nearly ready for this; Utahime gravity overestimated her abilities or underestimated the cursed strength. Regardless, the girl was too distraught to do anything at this moment. 
There’s a rush, and you suddenly realize you are outside the heat of battle. Todo went in, guns blazing, but you could only waste so much time. Todo was strong, way above his current ranking, in your opinion, but it was only a matter of time before that curse cut him down, too. 
Without a second thought, you dropped to your knees. The pain was overwhelming, but you focused, drawing from the reserves settled deep within your core. Your energy surged, and tendrils of fire spiraled around the wound, filling the air with intense heat. 
“Sensei! Are you alri–" Miwa gasped, her feet coming to a haunt as she watched in awe and terror as your arm began to regenerate—pulsing with energy. The flesh knitted itself together, bone and sinew reforming in a frenzy. 
But the process wasn't easy and certainly didn’t come without a price to pay. Your body screamed, the regeneration draining your reserves. You were already weakened, and the battle had just begun. Tsk. 
Todo found his way back over to you two, panting heavily. “How are you doing over there, Sensei?”
"Clap," you say, voice strained. "Now." He looked at you, bug-eyed, but he nodded. He didn't hesitate. 
He brought his hands together in a sharp clap, and everything shifted. “Alright! Let’s dance!”
In an instant, you found yourself on the other side of the curse. You inhaled deeply, heart pounding, immediately launching yourself back into the fight.
The curse roared in confusion, disoriented, but it was too late. You were already in motion. Your feet hit the ground in a fluid motion, and with a vicious snap of your wrist, fire erupted once again. This time, it formed into a massive whip of flame that lashed through the air.
The curse hissed as the whip wrapped around its neck, and you pulled with your whole body. Never losing your grip, muscles straining, you move forward, wrapping the flames over your arm again and again, pulling tighter and tighter until you smelt the pungent odor of the burning flesh around its neck. You wrapped the whip around your arm one last time before turning your body and pulling the whip from over your shoulder, viscously yanking and slamming the curse to the ground and into submission. 
The curse struggled, its body writhing, but it was weakened. Miwa went for the opening, summoning her New Shadow Style: Simple domain. She’s gotten better since the tournament, and you acknowledge with a grave chuckle as she instantly draws her blade, slicing the curse directly across its chest cavity. She cost you an arm, but deep down, you knew she had the conviction to win and succeed. 
Todo doesn’t wait. Another clap. Another shift. You and Todo swapped places with the curse itself this time, and the curse had no time to react. He goes for a punch, cracking the curse with a quick jab, followed by a right hook. He claps again. The moment the curse materialized in front of you, disoriented, you surged forward, throwing everything you had left into one final strike.
It twisted in anguish, its body crumbling to the ground before its remains turned into ash.
Then, there was nothing.
The air grew still. The ground beneath you is scorched but calm. You sucked your teeth, silently berating yourself. 
You hated using your technique. Frankly, you opted not to unless you absolutely needed to, which was the main reason why people hardly knew about it. It wreaked havoc, leaving nothing but indomitable infernos that refused to be quenched like normal flames. They left nothing destruction in their wake—hungry to consume and spread. However, you’ve gotten better at controlling it—you’ll give yourself that. The only thing burned here today was the grass in the courtyard. 
You stood there for a moment, panting, your body trembling with exhaustion as you collapsed to the ground, panting heavily. “Y–you did it!” Miwa cheered. “I had no idea you knew RCT. Thank you for helping me back there.”
“What the– Miwa, we won! Show some conviction!” Todo cut in, flexing his biceps. 
“He’s right,” you managed a weak smile as you worked on catching your breath and easing your fast-beating heart. You collapse to the ground, still gaining your breath. "We did it."
You hear footsteps approaching from behind. Tilting your head, you see Utahime standing directly above you. 
“Oh. Hi ‘hime.” 
She smiles a bit, but her face remains hardened. You straighten up a bit, catching on to her attitude. Something wasn’t right. 
“You guys did a good job. However, another problem has arisen across the city.” 
“Huh? Another one?” Miwa asked, brows tugging inward. She shifts her weight from one hip to the other. “That's like the fifth one today...”
They continue on in their conversation as you drop your veil, sniff the air, and concentrate on your surroundings. A sense of foreboding strikes you under the dark ambiance of the sky. Even after killing that S-grade, things don’t feel right. 
“Thanks for joining us,” Utahime says, drawing back your attention. “I nearly had to call for backup.”
You scoff, glancing up at her from the ground. “Something doesn't feel right, Utahime.” She nods, agreeing with your observation. “When did the reports come flooding in?”
“About an hour ago now.”
“Hm,” you wonder, thinking back to when you first found the cursed womb. “That’s about the same time I first sensed the presence of the cursed womb. They’re most likely connected.”
“That's what I thought. The presence of the cursed womb must have irritated some of the curses in the city, most likely because they were drawn to the energy fluctuations the cursed womb caused. It's good you were here. We're stretched thin right now. If you don’t mind staying, we could use your help. The other students are out on missions across the city, and things just keep getting worse.” 
You smile up at her before pushing yourself back up on your two feet, brushing the dirt from your pants. “Sure, let’s get going–” but as you stand, it feels as if a bolt of lightning strikes you down or as if your chest has been cracked open by a sledgehammer. The agony was too great to even scream as you fell to your knees and crashed back into the ground. 
It was lights out. 
-
It was quiet. Dark—a vast, unending expanse of nothingness that swallowed you whole. An endless drift. It would have almost been peaceful if not for the faint pull at the edges of your awareness, like an anchor trying to tether to something you couldn’t see. 
But then came the first sound. 
You heard voices—muffled cries. Please wake up, said one voice. Please stay with me, came another. 
Pain began to throb somewhere in the background, dull and distant. Disembodied as if it belonged to someone else. 
Don’t you dare leave me. The voice was sharp, demanding, cracking under the weight of fear. You knew that voice and remembered all the sweet things it used to whisper to you. Your heart takes a painful lurch. You can hear its occasional beat in your ears. We need you. I need you. 
Oddly, you were cold.
You were drifting again, further and further. The anchor was slipping. You were sinking, your head hardly above water, when another muffled voice broke through—whimpering, sobbing. Your heart lurches painfully.
Mom, please don’t go.
The words pierce through the nothingness, shattering it all to bits and pieces. The words pull at you, a lifeline you hadn’t known you clung to and needed. Images begin to flash, and suddenly, the voices are no longer just voices. Your heart suddenly burns as though the memory of life itself is fighting its way back into you. 
Your eyelids were heavy, limbs weak, unresponsive—cold. You were so cold, but it wasn’t enough to stop you from crawling out of a black pit that threatened to swallow you whole. There’s a faint sensation of pressure, a hand tightly gripping yours. 
Light begins bleeding into the edges of your awareness. You sucked in a deep breath, lungs empty and greedy. 
Then, your eyes fluttered open.  
You blinked a few times, realizing how hard it was to breathe. Breathing was supposed to be an automatic response, but you had to force it, each breath dragging along the back of your throat like sandpaper. You’re weak and shivering as you use most of your energy to sit up. You were in an empty room, you realized—the sharp smell of sanitizer permeating your nose. 
You push yourself out of bed, knees buckling under your weight. You catch yourself, gathering whatever bits of strength you have left. Your teeth clattered. You were freezing. Shaking, you wrapped the white blanket over your shoulders, gripping it tight before you trudged towards the door.
The hall was mostly empty, all except for a sleeping boy slouched over in a chair beside your door. Your heart squeezes. 
“Megumi,” you whispered his name. You stare at him for a moment, unable to bite back the tears that nip at your dry eyes. 
You wrapped the blanket around him, tucking it gently around him. However, he flinches, jumping straight up in his chair. “S-Sorry,” you tell him quickly with a watery smile. “You looked cold.” 
“You…” the word was a raw and weak whisper. His eyes widened. It took a moment for recognition to settle in, but once it did, he spoke again. “You’re awake.” He stood up from his chair, and you stepped back, offering him space. “You’re awake,” he repeated again. 
Then, you start to wonder just how long you’ve been out of it. Days? Weeks? The thought of months terrifies you, but before you can even go down that loophole, he’s hugging you tightly. “You’re awake,” he says once more, his voice breaking. 
However long it was, he’s right. You’re awake. You’re here, living and breathing. You wrap your arms around his torso, patting and rubbing his back soothingly. “Yup… I’m here. I’m awake.” 
You let him be the one to pull away, letting him take however long he needs. You enjoyed it regardless. You couldn’t remember the last time you hugged him. 
When he pulls away, his eyes are red. He sniffs a bit, backing up and taking the blanket off his shoulders. This time, he’s the one wrapping the fabric around you. He’s frowning a bit as he does. “... you’re the one that’s cold,” he notes quietly. 
“What happened?”
“You don’t remember?” He asks softly, brows furrowing. 
You shook your head. No. Frankly, you didn’t remember much of anything right now. “I was on my way with Yuji and Nobara. We got on the train after you let me know where you were staying.” That’s right. You texted Megumi when you figured out where you’d be staying. You thought they’d come over sometime in the following days. You had no idea they were rushing to see you on the next available train. 
He places his hands awkwardly on your shoulder before gently guiding you to the chair he was sitting in moments ago. As you go to sit, your body seems to forget how to move for a moment, and you lose your balance. He catches you quickly, carefully helping you down into the chair. “When we got to Kyoto, we realized quickly how bad things were over there.   We started helping out at the Kyoto school, dealing with the curses that had been lingering in the area where the cursed womb opened up. Eventually, we ran into Todo and Miwa. They told us what happened.” He grunts, kneeling down so he’s at eye level with you. 
You’re silent for a moment. “How long was I out for?”
“Pushing four days now.” 
The memories strike you like a fright train. “Are you okay? Is everyone alright?” You hadn’t realized you had reached for his cheek. 
He grabs your wrist, thumb gently caressing the back of your hand before pulling your hand away, guiding it back to your lap. He moves the blanket until it's covering you again.  “We’re all fine. Everything’s been dealt with. Yuji and Nobara went down to the cafe to grab some lunch. They’ll be thrilled when they come back.”
You tilt your head. “Why didn’t you go with them?”
He smiles a bit. “I didn’t want to leave you unattended.”
You don’t know what to think. You’re just happy you’re back. Happy because he was happy. You always hated it when he worried about you. You never believed it was his job to do so. However, he stayed by your side and protected you when you couldn’t protect yourself. 
You wiggle your toes and roll your shoulders before standing again. “You shouldn’t be standing–”
“I’m alright, I promise,” you tell him, dismissing his concern. “I just want to walk around, okay?”
He stares at you intently, unsure, but he seems to have no energy to argue with you. “... alright,” he relents. 
He follows you closely as you drag your feet across the floor. You don’t know where you are walking, but you want to stretch your legs and regain a sense of your body. You are weak, but you need to move. 
You ask the question you were too hesitant to ask: “What about Gojo?”
He huffs. “He left a little while ago. Said he’d be back shortly,” he scoffs. “Bullshit if you ask me.”
“Megumi,” you sigh his name with a soft reprimand. 
“He should be here,” he responds disgruntledly. “He should be by your side, and he’s not."
You stay quiet. You’re not exactly sure what to say to him when you agree. Maybe Gojo was done. Whatever this was, whatever relationship you had—maybe he didn’t want you anymore. You look ahead, fighting your own body that threatened to collapse at any moment. You could feel Megumi’s eyes on you, but you didn’t have the heart to look at him right now.
You were afraid you would sob if you did. 
Though you had never walked these halls before, the hospital's layout was quite easy to catch on to. After taking a fourth right turn, you see your room in the distance. A stubborn part of you says to keep going and keep walking, but the exhaustion is catching up to you quickly. If Megumi hadn’t been by your side, cautious eyes scanning you, you might have kept going until you passed out. You realize that the strength you had was nearly depleted. Only trickles of your cursed energy remained, and it would be a long while before you gained it back. 
You hear footsteps behind you. Quick and ushered. Megumi turns before you, his whole frame tensing.  He sucks his teeth and clicks his tongue. “So he finally shows up.” He speaks in a sardonic tone, loud enough for anyone in the hallways to hear.
Satoru comes running from around the corner then, taking deep breaths. Your brows slightly pinch together in confusion. “S–Satoru,” you stutter, walking closer. “When did you get here?”  He looks disheveled. Alarmed. Was he just running? 
It was hard trying to figure out what he was feeling or experiencing when that black eyeband covered his eyes. However, you noticed the bouquet in his hands, a delicate combination of soft and tender hues: pale pink and roses, white peonies, deep pink lilies, and baby’s breath delicately wrapped along sprigs of greenery. 
You place a hand on Megumi’s shoulder. “Why don’t you go eat with the others?”
“But–”
“I’ll be alright,” you explain to him in a soft tone.
He hesitates, torn between staying and leaving.  He was unsure if he should leave you to handle this alone, but after a moment, he backed down, probably realizing he shouldn’t stand between the two of you and what needed to happen. With an irate glance shot at Gojo, he turns, pocketing his hands as he makes his way to the stairs. 
Only when the door shuts do you look at Satoru again. 
He stays unusually quiet, his face unreadable. Frankly, it was rather unsettling. You had no idea what was going through his mind. “I–I’m sorry!” you blurt out the first words that crash to the surface of your mind the moment you see him in his entirety. There was no hope of holding back. After days spent away from him, lost in his absence, and days dancing on the edge of death, the words tumble out of you before you can stop them—unbidden, unstoppable. “For everything. Y–You must have been stressed with work and other things. My fuck up only added to your plate. I get it, ya know? It's selfish of me, even now, to rely on you so much when there’s a whole world that needs you. They are not my students, and I put them in danger.” Quickly, the tears gather in your waterline again, but you blink them away. “I–I’ll be leaving soon. I’ll… I’ll go. I’ll get out of your way, and you won’t have to deal with me bothering you any longer–”
“Can I touch you?” The question comes suddenly, softly, and almost hesitantly. 
You blink a few times, puzzled, but then, you unravel, folding inward under the weight of his voice. Your breath hitches in your throat. Was he still holding onto what you had said that night? Was he haunted by the barriers broken and the others so carelessly assembled? 
He still wanted you? 
You didn’t want him to let you go. Not yet. Not ever.
Like a dam breaking, you surged forward, closing the space between you two. Seconds later, you feel his resolve crumble. He crushes you to his chest, flowers falling to the floor. His arms enveloped you with a force that robbed you of breath, your feet nearly coming off the ground as you both stumble backward. Trembling, he clung to you as if you were an anchor in a world that threatened to tear him apart. There were no words—the unspoken agony and grief were far too overwhelming to put into words—if there even were words for it. 
I’m sorry. I love you. I’m glad you’re okay.  You felt it all with him. You could feel the pounding of his heart against your chest, hear its frantic rhythm match your own.
His hands were shaking, one tangling in your hair, the other wrapping entirely around your frame and squeezing your hip. He buries his face into your neck, and his hot breath is ragged and uneven as he inhales your scent. “I thought–” he swallows, shaking his head. “I didn’t know where you were—for a second time.”
Your cursed energy was low, more depleted than it had ever been. It explains why you were so weak, so frail. When he saw your empty bed, he must’ve panicked. He ran to you, anxiously following the weak traces of your presence. 
Your fingers tangle in his hair, and the familiar silk of his eyeband rubs against your skin. You gently tug at the fabric with the tips of your fingers. His breath hitches, but he doesn't pull away. Instead, he stills as you slip the black band from his face. He lifts his head just enough to rest it against yours. They were that same stunning shade of azure—bright and impossibly vivid, glowing softly as if they carried the remnants of a forgotten star. Captivating, otherworldly, yet achingly human—something he’d often forget from time to time. 
“You promised,” he murmurs, voice broken. “You promised.”  
“What are you talking about?” you ask just as brokenly. 
Suddenly, one of his hands grasps your neck, and you choke on your words. He doesn’t squeeze tight, but the look on his face is enough to make you gasp. “I couldn’t feel you. I couldn’t feel you anymore,” he says achingly. 
Your chest tightens, nails slightly digging into his forearm. You open your mouth to speak, failing more times than succeeding. You wanted to speak, but the words lodged in your mouth. 
“I–I don’t understand.”
“You’re not wearing it anymore,” he murmurs, his nose brushing softly against your cheek. The necklace you always wore—his gift to you, the one that held a part of him, a part of the two of you—was gone. He could feel it in the pit of his stomach, an absence that gnawed at him like hunger, an emptiness he could never satisfy. 
His voice wasn’t angry, far from it. It wasn’t even harsh, but something in it—a quiet desperation—made the air between the two of you quiver. 
“You promised you’d never go where I couldn’t follow,” he whispers again. “Remember?” 
You nod in his hold, tightly pursing your lips together when a few tears escape, dripping from your eyes.  He leans in, pressing his forehead against yours again, gazing deep and unwavering into your eyes. I remember. His grip on your neck loosens until he removes his hand from your throat completely, gentle fingers pushing down your shirt's fabric. His fingers trace your skin, the empty spot where your necklace once laid. 
Then, it suddenly hits you. “Oh.”  
He could feel you as much as you felt him. If you were ever too far from him—out of the range of his sight, out from where his hands could reach for you, that necklace was a beacon, a beckoning, a lighthouse in the storm that guided you home—guided him home. 
You squeeze him tighter. You missed him. You really missed him. 
“How did you find me?” 
He takes a moment to breathe, trying to settle the rapid beat of his heart. “Utahime.” He wheezes out a pained laugh. “She called me panicking once you collapsed. I got there as quickly as I could.”  
You copy his laugh, albeit coughing a bit from the pain blooming in your ribs. You hated to admit it, but the longer you stood, the more your body began to hurt. “I should just heal myself and get this over with.”
“Don’t,” his grip tightens on you again. “you’re using it wrong. There’s damage, lots of it,” he tells you, wiping at the blood that had stained your skin at the corner of your mouth with his thumb. “Any more and–” his eyebrows furrowed deeply, the weight of grief and guilt tugging his features. The corner of his lips tightened. “Shoko operated on you for hours. You nearly died.”
He sees what others cannot, his gaze piercing the surface to something deeper, something raw. He sees the world through an entirely different lens, and right now, the sight of you seems to pain him dearly. 
For a moment, you wonder just how much damage is hidden within you and how much it must weigh on him to see it. “Shoko might have gotten you out of the woods, but she told me you’d need a few more rounds to get you back to normal.”
“That makes sense,” you murmur, allowing your entire body weight to ease into him. He accepts you with open arms. “I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck. Or twenty.”
“I missed it,” he utters, voice thick with regret. “If I had just looked a bit closer, we wouldn’t be in this mess. I fucked up. I could’ve prevented this.” His careful grip on you tightens as if you’d slip away from him once more.  “But,” his tone softens. “You did so well. You took care of that cursed womb before I could even get to the scene.” Even through his pain and wallowing, his heart swells. He was proud of you. 
He bends down, grabbing the flowers he dropped before moving towards you again. “Oh gosh,” you hide your face into his neck as he reaches down, one arm hooking under your legs as he lifts you. You don’t hesitate, wrapping your arms around his neck. “I’m definitely fired, aren’t I?” 
He carefully guides you back into your room. He manages to toss your flowers on the counter by the window. “Don’t worry about any of that. I’ll handle it. ‘Kay?” He places you down on your bed, but he hesitates, not wanting to fully pull away. 
Your eyes flicker, recalling the night of your augment. You knew this was the reason behind his haunted expression. You recognized the torment because you, too, had felt it. “You’re mad,” he observes relatively quickly.
You didn’t want to bring it up. You weren't necessarily mad, not anymore, but even near death couldn’t make you forget the pain he had caused with words he so carelessly struck you down with. 
“What you said… Hurt me, Gojo,” you look down at your hands, feeling selfish for even bringing this up after nearly dying. However, you knew this conversation was inevitable.  “Even if you were right I felt cast aside. Useless. Why didn't you tell me you felt that way before?”
“No… don’t say that. I was being stupid. I over reacted. I know you'd always protect those kids and that's exactly what you did. You’re not weak or a nuisance, or... convenient.” you flinch at the word. “You’re far from that. I need you to know that.”
“...Then what am I?”
“Everything,” he shudders. “You’re everything.” His lips brush over your forehead, your cheeks, and eyelids, each kiss tender and lingering. But then he pauses, his smooth lips hovering just above yours. He’s always been so confident, so self-assured. You’re unsure how to react.
You were sitting on your bed, feet dangling just above the floor. He is leaning over you, one large and warm hand on your thigh, the other cupping your face gently. He was close, but not close enough. Even bent at the waist, his height keeps him just out of your reach unless he leans back down just a bit more…
You wrap your arms around his neck and pull him down to you, giving him all the assurance you have to offer.
You were hurt, but you still wanted him.
You still loved him. 
His mouth was warm and soft—testing the waters and treading carefully. His grip on your thigh tightens until– 
He lets go. You feel the tension in his body dissipate, and finally, he allows himself to fully enjoy you—taste you. The kiss deepens, and you swear it brought life back into your frail body. He overwhelms you now in the most delicious way possible. Your toes curl, and your tight embrace eases. Your arms go weak, your hands moving to run down his chest, his taut muscles quivering in the wake of your touch.  Every moment was a promise, every brush of skin a new vow. No words were spoken, but you both heard everything that had been held back, everything that had been left unsaid. 
I’m sorry.
I love you. 
I love you.
I love you. 
He smiles against your lips, but you don’t stop or pull away, catching and nipping at his bottom lip. Then, you kiss him again, slotting his top lip between yours. “You really love me, huh? Hehe.”
Oh. You hadn’t realized you said it—whimpered murmurs against his lips. No wonder why he looked all dopey and smiley. 
“You’re not going to make me grovel for forgiveness?” He pecks your lips again. “This seems too easy. I know you’re still mad.”
You chase after his lips. “Of course, I’m still mad,” you mutter against him. “But I thought I would never see you again.” Even as he frowns, you pepper his lips with kisses. “Plus, it's not like you to grovel.”
“I would for. Only for you, of course.”
You giggle, nipping his lip a little harder. “Yeah,” you rolled your eyes. “I’d like to see that.”
Oh no. You’ve made a grave mistake. You knew you messed up again the second the words fell from your lips. There’s a glint in his eyes now. 
“Oh, my beautiful, angelic Queen! I know I have displeased you. Please accept my humble apologies!” You squeak at the suddenness of his actions. He sinks to his knees dramatically, and his palms meet the dirty floor, and so does his forehead. “I am at your mercy! I have failed you greatly, and I wish to make amends.”
You swat him on the back of his head, but it's not nearly enough to hurt him or deter him from whatever this is. “Gojo! Don’t bow like that! Get up!”
“But I can’t!” He whines. “You must forgive me! I will spend eternity on my knees if it means I can regain your favor, my perfect, beautiful, divine Queen. You alone rule this sinners heart!”  He inches forward on his knees, squeezing himself between your legs. His hands find homage on your waist as he nudges his face into your stomach.
Your eyes roll skyward. “Only you could apologize and insult me at the same time, Satoru,” you grumble, looking down at him before running your fingers through white stands. 
Suddenly, he looks up from this position, resting his chin right beneath your ribs, grinning ear to ear. “You called me Satoru~”
You feel your face flush, heat gushing to your cheeks and ears. “Shut up. You’re such an idiot. Can you get up now?”
“Nah,” he says lazily, burying his head into your stomach again. His voice comes out muffled. “I’m trying to make amends with my Queen. Let me, will ya?”
You ease, realizing you won't be able to stop him from doing what he wants. Even if it was a bit theatrical, he was doing his best—you know that because you know him. You let your nails gently graze his scalp as you continued to pat him. He hums, almost purrs, as your other hand finds his shoulder, squeezing him gently before running your fingers under his shirt, caressing his skull and the taut muscles in his back. A beat of silence passes, but you find yourself uncaring.
You had him back in your arms. That’s all that really mattered to you right now.
“Look, I know… I know I messed up,” he begins, voice so low, you nearly miss it. “I’m not great at this—saying the right things. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I was stressed. I was fed up with the higher-ups and fed up with my missions, but that’s no excuse. If I could take it all back, I would in a heartbeat. You deserve better than what I was giving you. I’m gonna try to be better… for you. For us.”  His words hang in the air a bit awkwardly, but you can see the sincerity in his eyes and hear it in his voice. It couldn’t be missed. He shifts a bit, moving to kiss your belly. Then, his large hand wrap around yours, guiding your hand closer to his lips. He kisses the back of your knuckles tenderly as if the act of his apology could never be enough.
“You want me to stay?”
He squeezes you tighter. “Of course I do. What would I be without you?”
“Hm. You’d still be Gojo Satoru. Even without me.” 
“I don’t want to imagine a life without you,” he mutters. “Wherever you go, that’s where I’ll follow. I've already told you that…”
“Don’t say that,” you whisper sweetly, patting his head. He nudges his head further into you. “The world will always need you.”
“I will always need you. So please… stop talking like this.” He pinches your side, making you squeak. Finally he looks up, an unimpressed expression gracing his features. “And don’t ever leave the city to get away from me. When you told me you were going to a hotel, I thought you meant in Tokyo.”
You chuckle nervously, looking elsewhere. “Yeah… Sorry about that.” 
“Next time, take a walk or something. I dunno, go touch some grass if you get tired of me.”
A small smile escaped you, followed by a quiet laugh that shook your shoulders. You pat his back three times before kneading him softly. “Okay, humble peasant. You've groveled for long enough. Now lay with me,” you demand him. “I want you to lay with me. I’m so tired.”
“Psh. I’d hardly fit on this bed.”
“Whatever,” you tell him, scooting over. “I’ll make room. Get in, string bean.”
He grins. “Yes, ma’am.”
 It’s a bit awkward at first with his lanky form, but he makes it work. It was a tight fit, and his feet slightly dangled off the bed, but he made no objections. With your back to his chest, he held you against him securely.
“You’re cold,” he observes out loud when you start playing with his fingers. It’s a bitter realization, a deafening one on his part. You know it bothers him, especially as he wraps the blanket around you tighter.
He tries not to let it show. However, he quickly becomes restless and you know he isn’t sated. He begins to move. “Let me go get you another blanket.”
“Nooo. Stay here.”
“Huh? But you’re freezing! And you’re never cold!”
“I’m already warming up!” You intervene with a small giggle, tugging him by his jacket. “Just shut up and lay with me, already.” He hesitates before unbuttoning his black jacket. When he was determined, there wasn’t any stopping a man like him, and right now, he was determined to get you warm.
He lays his jacket over you, spreading the fabric out, smoothing away all the wrinkles, and making sure you're covered. It might as well be a blanket with how long it was over you. Bonus points because it still carried him warmth and smelled like his cologne. A blend of earth and wood with a hint of something darker—smokey and smooth. You always loved the scent. Whenever he walked by, it brushed past you like a gentle breeze over still water, warm and inviting, with subtle notes of leather, musk, and vanilla. 
He grunts a bit before easing into the bed again. “My little icicle- ow,” you shot your elbow back, getting him right in the ribs. “Okay, okay, I’ll stop.” He chuckles, before wrapping his arms over you one more. He brushes your hair from your neck, his breath fanning against your skin. He kisses you there once, twice, three times before saying something familiar. 
“I could sense when you left Tokyo. I didn’t know what to do. Even with my eyes, I couldn’t find you. You were just gone. Don’t ever go where I can’t follow." He kisses your neck. "Please.”
You turn around, searching for his lips. He melts into you once again, squeezing your side sweetly. “I promise,” you murmur. “Wherever you go, that’s where I’ll follow,” you say, voicing back the same promise he made you. He smiles faintly against your lips.  
When you woke up the next morning, your necklace was there. It was back where it belonged, sapphires resting gently over your steady beating heart—carrying Satoru’s silent promise.
Wherever you go, that’s where I follow. 
-
a/n: I honestly don't know how I feel about this but if you made it to the end I hope the nearly 18k was worth reading. If you couldn't tell its based off the song Die With A Smile. Honestly, I think I might have been happier by making this a bit longer and flushing out some of the scenes more, but I was trying new things and I was excited to post my first jjk post :) however its getting late now but if there's any typos or errors I notice later I'll edit as needed.
anyways, if you'd like to see more gojo x sorcerer!reader let me know! also I really hoped you liked the bits I added with Megumi (he's just a smol bean).
likes and reblogs are always appreciated! :p
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gyuuberryy · 22 days ago
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professional-ish!
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pairing: boss!jake x reader
synopsis: you’re just trying to survive your 9-to-5 without spontaneously combusting, but your painfully attractive boss seems to think you’re flirting. every awkward smile, accidental wink, and misfired message only makes it worse. now he’s looking at you like you’ve got some secret agenda. the truth? you just short-circuit around hot people. it’s not seduction—it’s social malfunction.
genre: workplace romance, crack, accidental flirting(?), some suggestive content
warnings: making out, some touching, jealous!jake, swearing, the writer has slapped all the office lingo known to her
note: sorry for the late post!! this is the last installment for the 2k event yayy! i feel like the ending is kinda rushed, i rewrote the last half so many times i kinda hate this. also i realised this is lowkey similar to the tutor!jungwon fic after writing haha. anyway i hope you enjoy reading!
word count: 4.4k
if you liked it please reblog or comment to give me your feedback! <3
2k event | previous
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three days. that’s all it had been. 
three days of nervously memorising names, of smiling too wide at people whose roles you hadn’t quite figured out yet, of laughing a little too loudly at jokes you only half understood. but you were getting there. you’d even found a few coworkers who didn’t seem to mind your presence—who invited you to lunch, who nodded at you in the hallway like you belonged. it was progress.
and then today happened.
you’d walked into the office that morning feeling oddly optimistic. the sun was streaming through the floor-to-ceiling windows, the coffee in your hand was still warm, and you’d actually managed to pick an outfit that didn’t make you look like you’d dressed in the dark. for once, you didn’t feel like an imposter.
that should’ve been your first warning.
your hr manager, ms. cho, had intercepted you before you could even reach your desk. “good, you’re here early,” she’d said, her tone brisk but not unkind. “let’s go introduce you to your boss now—he’s been out of town, but he’s back today, and he wants to meet you.”
your stomach had twisted. you’d known, logically, that you’d have to meet him eventually. but you’d hoped for at least another week to settle in, to maybe practise not sounding like a complete disaster in front of someone whose opinion could dictate your future here.
ms. cho led you down a hallway that felt too long, your heels clicking against the polished floors in a rhythm that matched your racing heartbeat. the air smelled faintly of citrus cleaner and expensive cologne, the kind that lingered in elevators long after the person wearing it had stepped out. your fingers fidgeted with the hem of your blazer, your mouth dry as you mentally rehearsed your greeting. nice to meet you, sir. looking forward to working with you, sir. please don’t think i’m incompetent, sir.
then the door opened, and all those carefully prepared words dissolved into static.
because jake sim was—
well.
he wasn’t just your boss. he was a vision.
he stood near the window, the morning light catching the sharp lines of his profile, one hand tucked casually into his pocket like he’d been waiting for you without a single ounce of impatience. his suit was immaculate, the fabric draping over his shoulders in a way that made it clear it cost more than your rent. his hair was styled just so, not a strand out of place, and when he turned to look at you, his lips curled into a charming smile that showcased his quiet confidence.
your felt like you had been submerged into thick viscous honey, your brain too muddled to function.
“ah,” he said in an unfairly smooth and deep voice. “you must be the new hire.”
your mouth opened, but nothing came out.
this wasn’t happening. you were a professional. you’d practised this. you’d literally rehearsed in the mirror last night.
so why were your palms sweating? why was your pulse hammering in your throat like you’d just sprinted up a flight of stairs?
“nice to—nice, sir. i mean. meet. you.”
the second the words left your mouth, you wanted to claw them back. your voice had pitched up, cracking like you were fifteen and going through puberty all over again. your face burned, your ears hot with humiliation, and in a desperate attempt to play it off, you let out a laugh—or at least, the mangled, high pitched attempt at one.
it echoed in the silence.
ms. cho coughed politely. jake’s eyebrow lifted, slow and deliberate, his smirk deepening like he’d just discovered something fascinating.
you were going to die.
in your panic, you took a step back—only for your heel to catch on the edge of a decorative potted plant. your arms pinwheeled, your balance teetering dangerously, and for one horrifying second, you were certain you were about to crash directly into the very expensive looking side table beside you.
somehow, you didn’t. but the damage was done.
jake’s gaze flickered from your flailing limbs back to your face, his expression shifting into something dangerously close to amusement. like you were the most entertaining thing he’d seen all week.
oh god.
you wanted to vanish. you wanted to teleport directly into the nearest trash chute. you wanted to go back in time and never apply for this job.
you see, you had a problem.
a big, humiliating, soul crushing problem that no amount of deep breathing or positive affirmations could fix. it wasn't that you were incompetent—far from it. you'd graduated top of your class, aced every interview, and somehow landed this prestigious position through sheer skill and determination as your first job. no, your problem was far more specific, far more devastating in its simplicity:
you malfunctioned around attractive people.
and not just the casual, oh-they're-nice-looking kind of attractive. no, you short circuited around the kind of devastatingly gorgeous humans who moved through the world like they'd never once doubted their place in it. the kind who could reduce you to a stuttering, blushing mess with nothing more than a glance.
and jake sim?
jake sim was the human embodiment of your downfall.
when hr informed you that you'd been reassigned as his junior assistant, your first reaction had been to laugh—a high, slightly hysterical sound that made the hr manager eye you with concern. 
"this is a great opportunity for you to learn," she'd said, her tone suggesting she didn't understand why you looked like you were about to pass out.
you'd nodded mechanically, your mind already racing through every possible disaster scenario. daily interactions. emails that required actual coherence. eye contact. 
how were you supposed to maintain eye contact when looking at him for too long made your palms sweat and your thoughts scatter like startled birds?
the first week was a special kind of torture.
you arrived early every morning, rehearsing conversations in your head like an actor preparing for a role. you studied his schedule like it was a sacred text, memorising every meeting, every deadline, every detail that might give you even the slightest edge in appearing competent. you told yourself you could do this. you were a professional. you'd worked too hard to let something as trivial as a pretty face unravel you.
but then he'd walk into the room, all sharp suits and effortless confidence, and your carefully constructed composure would crumble like a sandcastle at high tide.
like today.
you'd been reviewing project updates at your desk, your notes meticulously organised, your thoughts clear and focused. you were prepared. you were ready. and then—
"did you get those figures from marketing?"
his voice, smooth and deep, came from directly behind you, closer than you'd expected. you could smell the faint, expensive scent of his cologne—something warm and subtly spicy that made your stomach do a slow, treacherous flip. your fingers froze over the keyboard.
you'd meant to say, "i'll get you those files right away." but what came out was:
"i'll get you anything."
the second the words left your mouth, time seemed to slow. your brain, in its panic, replayed the sentence on a loop, each repetition more horrifying than the last. your pulse pounded in your ears, a frantic drumbeat of oh god oh god oh god.
you tried to laugh it off, but the sound that escaped was less a laugh and more a strangled wheeze, the kind of noise that made people edge away slowly. the silence that followed was thick enough to choke on.
jake didn't move. when you finally dared to glance up, his expression was unreadable—just the slight tilt of his head, the faintest arch of one eyebrow. then, slowly, his mouth curved into something that wasn't quite a smile.
"that's a dangerous thing to offer," he said, his voice low and far too amused.
before you could even attempt to salvage the wreckage of your dignity, he was walking away, leaving you sitting there with your face burning, your hands clenched into fists in your lap.
you wanted to disappear. you wanted to rewind the last thirty seconds and try again. you wanted to march into hr and demand a transfer to a department where you'd never have to speak to another human being again—preferably one located in a remote, soundproof bunker.
but instead, you took a shaky breath, straightened your shoulders, and opened the marketing files with exaggerated focus. you could do this. you would do this.
even if it killed you.
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the office whispers started innocently enough. a stifled chuckle when you dropped your pen for the third time during the monday meeting. knowing glances exchanged over cubicle walls when you developed a sudden, intense interest in your shoes every time jake entered a room. at first you thought nothing of it—until you overheard lisa from accounting whisper "someone's got a crush" loud enough for half the floor to hear.
today had been particularly catastrophic.
early in the morning, jake had leaned over your desk to point out a formula error, his crisp white sleeve brushing against your forearm. 
"the pivot table in this spreadsheet needs adjusting," he'd said, his voice dipping into that low, measured tone that did something inexplicable to your breathing patterns. 
and then—god help you—you'd giggled. not a polite professional chuckle, but a high- pitched, borderline hysterical sound that seemed to startle both of you. jake had frozen mid sentence, his pen hovering over the document like he wasn't sure whether to correct the numbers or call hr.
"i—sorry, sorry," you'd stammered, your face burning as you desperately tried to salvage the moment, "it's just—pivot tables are so—they're just really—" 
you'd waved your hands vaguely, as if this explained anything. jake had simply blinked, slow and deliberate like a cat observing particularly baffling prey, before continuing his explanation as if nothing had happened. which was somehow worse.
later, you'd been printing reports when jake appeared beside you—silently, like some sort of corporate vampire—reaching across you to grab a stack of documents. his forearm brushed against yours, warm and solid through the fabric of his dress shirt, and your entire nervous system short-circuited. your breath hitched audibly, your fingers spasmed on the copier lid, and for one dizzying moment you were certain you were going to either pass out or vomit directly onto the machine's control panel. 
from the way your coworkers suddenly found reasons to walk past the copier area, you weren't as subtle as you'd hoped.
"you know," maria from marketing had said later in the break room, stirring her coffee with exaggerated casualness, "if you wanted his attention, you're doing great." the grin she shot you was equal parts amused and merciless.
"that's not—i'm not—" you'd sputtered, your coffee cup trembling in your hands. "i have this thing where i just—when people are really—i mean my brain just—" your words dissolved into incoherence, which only made her smirk widen.
the worst, most embarrassing thing was the email disaster which happened at 3:17 pm on tuesday. you remembered the exact time because you'd stared at the timestamp in mute horror for a full minute after hitting send. 
you'd meant to type "i need you to look at it" regarding the quarterly report draft. what you'd actually sent to jake's inbox read: "i need you to look at me."
your blood turned to ice. for thirty full seconds, you simply sat there, fingers hovering over the keyboard like you could somehow un-send the message through sheer force of will. your first instinct was to feign a sudden illness and flee the country. your second was to claim you'd been hacked. 
in the end, you'd settled for sending a follow-up email with the subject line "CORRECTION" in all caps and the body simply reading "THE REPORT. I NEED YOU TO LOOK AT THE REPORT." you didn't explain further. you couldn't.
the afternoon meeting was where everything came to a head. you'd been doing remarkably well—keeping your gaze firmly on your notes, responding in complete sentences, even managing to contribute to the discussion without sounding like you'd suffered a recent head injury. then, as you reached for your water glass, your traitorous hand trembled just enough to send the glass tipping. water cascaded across the conference table in a shimmering wave, soaking documents, laptops, and—most horrifyingly—the front of jake's perfectly tailored trousers.
the room fell silent. your pulse roared in your ears. the water droplet sliding slowly down jake's thigh was the most obscene thing you'd ever witnessed.
"i—oh god—i'm so—" you shot to your feet, knocking your chair over in your haste. napkins appeared as if by magic from various coworkers, though none of them made a move to help, this was clearly too entertaining to interrupt. 
"i'll just—bathroom and paper towels—" you managed to choke out before fleeing the scene, your heels clicking a frantic staccato against the polished floors.
as you rounded the corner, you could have sworn you heard jake murmur something under his breath. later, you'd learn from multiple "helpful" coworkers that what he'd actually said was "she's something else," in a tone that could have been exasperated or amused or—most terrifyingly—intrigued. 
the office gossip mill had already spun this into at least three different romantic subplots by the time you returned with a wad of paper towels and the shattered remains of your dignity.
the worst part was that this was only tuesday. you had three more days of this to survive. as you sat at your desk later, staring blankly at your computer screen, you made a mental note to research whether it was possible to die from secondhand embarrassment—specifically, embarrassment generated by your own inability to function like a normal human being around your unfairly attractive boss.
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things escalated in the worst possible way when jake started hovering more.
it began subtly—a coffee cup appearing on your desk when you hadn’t asked for one, the rich, bitter scent wafting up as you stared at it like it might be a trap. you’d glanced around, searching for the culprit, only to find jake already walking away, hands tucked into his pockets like he hadn’t just disrupted your entire morning with an act of kindness you weren’t equipped to handle.
then came the project updates. suddenly, he was asking for your input on things that weren’t even under your purview, leaning against the edge of your desk while you fumbled through explanations, your throat dry under the weight of his attention. 
and then things somehow got worse when he started leaning down towards you. not enough to be inappropriate, but enough that you could smell the faint, expensive cedar of his cologne, enough that his voice dropped into a low, private timbre that sent your pulse skittering. it felt deliberate. it felt like a test you were failing spectacularly.
like today.
you’d been caught staring. again. 
this time during a department meeting, your gaze drifting helplessly toward where jake sat at the head of the table, his fingers steepled under his chin, the sharp line of his jaw illuminated by the too-bright conference room lights. you hadn’t meant to look. or maybe you had. maybe you were a glutton for punishment, for the way your stomach swooped when his eyes flicked up and caught you, his eyebrow lifting just slightly.
"you good?" his voice was quiet, just for you, the words curling around you like smoke.
your brain short circuited. you could feel the heat creeping up your neck, your fingers tightening around your pen like it was the only thing tethering you to reality. play it cool, you begged yourself. just say something normal.
"low blood sugar," you mumbled, the lie tumbling out before you could stop it. you weren’t even sure what that meant in this context—were you implying you were dizzy? hungry? medically compromised?—but jake didn’t call you on it. he just smirked, slow and knowing, like he could see right through you.
you should’ve known then that you’d made a mistake.
because after that, snacks from him started appearing. protein bars tucked into your desk drawer. a banana left beside your keyboard with no explanation. once, horrifyingly, a lollipop—bright red and obscenely shiny—placed directly on top of your morning report. you’d stared at it for a full minute, your face burning, before stuffing it into your bag like contraband. 
you swore he watched you eat them. not obviously, not in a way you could call him out on, but in those fleeting moments when you glanced up from unwrapping a granola bar to find his gaze already on you, dark and unreadable.
it all came to a head when you thought he was out of the office.
you’d been ranting to yuna in the break room, your voice a hushed, frantic whisper as you paced in front of the microwave. 
"he keeps looking at me like i’m trying to seduce him," you groaned, dragging your hands down your face. "i’m not. i just—i don’t know how to behave around him, it’s like i’m socially defective."
yuna had opened her mouth to respond—probably to laugh at you, the traitor—when a cough cut through the room.
your blood turned to ice.
jake stood in the doorway, one hand braced against the frame, his expression perfectly neutral. how long had he been there? how much had he heard? your stomach dropped straight through the floor as your brain replayed your own words in brutal, high definition clarity. socially defective. oh god.
for one endless second, no one moved. then jake tilted his head—just slightly, like he was considering something—and walked away without a word.
you died a thousand deaths in that moment.
you expected things to be awkward after that. unbearable, even. but the next day, jake was... different. he smiled more—slow, deliberate smiles that made your palms sweat. he stared longer, his gaze lingering even when you ducked your head, even when you pretended not to notice. and then, over lunch—a lunch he had invited you to, a lunch you’d agreed to out of some masochistic impulse.
he leaned back in his chair and asked, casual as anything, "what kind of guy do you like?"
you choked on your drink.
your mind raced through a dozen possible responses—professional, respectful, not my boss—before settling on the dumbest possible answer. "alive," you croaked.
jake snorted, his lips quirking in a way that made your chest ache. "good start," he said, and something in his voice that sounded warm and interested, sent your heart into freefall.
the office that night was too quiet, the silence pressing on your ears and making them ring. 
you'd stayed late to finish some work, the blue light of your computer screen the only thing cutting through the dark. outside, the city hummed—car horns, distant sirens, the occasional burst of laughter from people who still had lives at this hour. your coffee had gone cold hours ago, but you kept sipping it anyway, the bitter taste matching your mood.
when the door creaked open, you didn't even look up. probably just the cleaning crew. but then you caught that scent—something expensive and faintly spicy, cutting through the stale office air. your fingers froze over the keyboard.
"still here?"
jake's voice was rougher than usual, tired around the edges. when you finally turned, he was leaning against your desk, two fresh coffees in hand. his sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, revealing those stupidly perfect forearms. his tie hung loose around his neck like he'd been yanking at it all day. he looked rumpled in a way that made your stomach do something complicated.
"uh. yeah." you swallowed, suddenly aware of how dry your throat was. "report."
he set one of the coffees down in front of you. the good stuff, from that place around the corner that charged way too much. "drink that before you pass out."
you wanted to say something clever. instead, your fingers fumbled with the lid, the plastic making an embarrassingly loud crack in the quiet office. 
jake didn't leave. just sank into the chair across from you with a quiet groan, stretching his long legs out until his shoe bumped yours. you jerked back like you'd been shocked.
for a while, the only sounds were your typing and the occasional sip of coffee. except you couldn't focus, not with him sitting there watching you. your fingers kept slipping, typing "jaje" instead of "jake" before you could stop yourself. you deleted it so fast your mouse clicked echoed.
"you're staring," he said suddenly.
you choked on your coffee. "i wasn't—"
"you were." he leaned forward, elbows on his knees. "at my mouth, specifically."
your face burned. you had been. just for a second. because his lips were chapped from the cold outside, and he kept worrying at the bottom one with his teeth, and—
"am i distracting you?" his voice dropped, taking on that low, teasing quality that made your pulse jump.
"no," you lied, your voice cracking.
a beat passed and then a tiny, pathetic noise escaped you—something between a whimper and a hiccup. you wanted to die(again). 
jake's eyes darkened, his smirk turning predatory. he leaned in closer, close enough that you could see the faint stubble shadowing his jaw, close enough that his knee pressed against yours under the desk and stayed there.
"if i didn't know better," he murmured, his breath warm against your cheek, "i'd say you like me, sweetheart."
your brain paused all activities and all you could manage was a strangled "jake—" that sounded more like a plea than a protest.
he pulled back just enough to meet your eyes, his grin all sharp edges. "i'm kidding."
but the way his fingers brushed yours as he took your empty coffee cup said he absolutely wasn't.
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over the past few days, something subtle had shifted between you and jake without either of you acknowledging it. the nervous stuttering that used to plague your conversations had faded into something smoother, something more natural. 
the late night coffee incident had been weeks ago, but its ghost lingered in every interaction since. you'd noticed the shift—how your pulse no longer raced quite so violently when jake entered a room, how your hands remained steady when passing him files. you still noticed the way his dress shirts stretched across his shoulders when he reached for files, still caught yourself staring at his hands when he typed, but the panic those observations used to trigger had mellowed into a warm flutter low in your stomach. you could even hold his gaze for entire sentences now without feeling like your skin might catch fire. progress, you'd thought. until today.
the copy machine hummed its familiar tune as you leaned against it, listening to the new marketing associate—ethan? evan?—recount his disastrous first client meeting. 
his animated storytelling had you laughing, the sound louder than intended in the quiet office. when his hand brushed your arm in emphasis, you didn't stiffen like you would have weeks ago. which made jake's sudden appearance and grip on your elbow all the more startling.
"conference room. now." his voice carried that particular edge you'd come to recognise—the one that brooked no argument.
you barely had time to mutter an apology to not-ethan before jake was steering you down the hall, his fingers burning through your blazer sleeve. the break room door clicked shut behind you with finality. 
jake paced like a caged animal, running a hand through his perfectly styled hair until it stood in disarray.
"you and the new guy looked awfully friendly." the words came out clipped, his back turned as he pretended sudden fascination with the microwave's keypad.
you blinked. "we were just talking."
"talking." he scoffed, finally turning. the fluorescent lights caught the tension in his jaw. "is that what they're calling it now?"
the realisation dawned slowly, then all at once—the way jake's coffee deliveries always seemed to coincide with your conversations with others, how he'd suddenly taken interest in your lunch plans, the barely concealed irritation whenever someone lingered too long at your desk. your stomach swooped.
"wait." you stepped closer, watching his adam's apple bob as he swallowed. "are you... jealous?"
jake's laugh was humourless. "don't flatter yourself."
but his eyes, dark and stormy, betrayed him. you saw it then: the insecurity beneath the polished exterior, the fear that your newfound ease around him wasn't comfort earned through shared late nights and inside jokes, but because your attention had wandered.
the elevator ride down that evening was thick with tension. jake stood unnaturally still, his reflection in the metal doors betraying clenched fists and a ticking jaw. you watched the floor numbers descend, exhaustion weighing heavy on your shoulders.
"you think i'm playing some game," you said quietly, not quite a question.
jake's reflection met yours. "aren't you?"
the doors opened on the empty lobby. neither of you moved.
"all those blushes and stammers," he continued, voice rough. "the way you'd trip over yourself whenever i got too close. and now?" his hand shot out to stop the doors from closing. "nothing. like i've become... ordinary."
the raw vulnerability in his words stole your breath. you turned, really looking at him—the faint shadows under his eyes, the way his tie hung slightly crooked. the man beneath the polished veneer.
"jake," you breathed, stepping closer. "you could never be ordinary."
something dangerous flashed in his eyes. "prove it."
the first kiss was all collision—lips bruising, teeth clashing. you gasped as jake backed you into the wall, his hands finding your hips with a possessiveness that set your nerves alight.
"fuck," he growled against your mouth when your fingers tangled in his hair. "you have no idea how long i've—"
you cut him off with another kiss, revelling in the way his body shuddered against yours. his palms slid under your blouse, calloused fingers mapping your skin like he was committing you to memory.
"still think i was seducing you?" you managed between kisses, arching into his touch.
jake nipped at your bottom lip, drawing a whimper you'd deny later. "sweetheart," he murmured, breath hot against your skin, "you've been wrecking me since day one."
some distant part of your brain registered the security cameras, the professionalism you were shattering, the inevitable hr disaster. it was drowned out by the way jake's hands trembled as they traced your ribs, by the broken sound he made when you scraped your nails down his back.
when you finally broke apart—lips swollen, breathing ragged—jake rested his forehead against yours. his thumb traced your cheekbone with unexpected tenderness.
"we're going to get fired," you whispered, even as your fingers toyed with his belt loop.
jake's grin was all sinful promise as he stole one more kiss. "best damn termination notice i'll ever receive." (don't do this guys)
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𝗰𝗼𝗽𝘆𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 ©𝗴𝘆𝘂𝘂𝗯𝗲𝗿𝗿𝘆𝘆 on Tumblr
˚ · .𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁𝘀 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗲𝗿𝘃𝗲𝗱
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buckyseternaldoll · 13 days ago
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bad desire
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this is the final story from my 707 followers' milestone event 💖
Pairing: WinterSoldier!Bucky x Civilian!Female!Reader
Summary: Hydra tried to turn you both into monsters. But even as the Winter Soldier, Bucky still chose you.
Disclaimers: 18+ (mdni!), explicit smut content, p in v (standing & bed positions), oral (m giving), light dubcon (serum influence), winter soldier mode, overstimulation, soft dom!bucky, recovery sex, emotional aftercare, post-Hydra escape, angst with resolution, semi-public surveillance
Word Count: 8.5k
Author's Note: As much as I love Winter Soldier, writing his smut scene is very challenging 🥹😭
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Bucky escaped Hydra with Steve’s help—though “escape” wasn’t quite right. It felt more like a release. A bleeding, uncertain kind of freedom.
He vanished into a quiet Eastern European village, tucked between cold hills and roads long forgotten. Somewhere small. A place where the language felt foreign in his mouth, and the people kept to themselves. No tourists. No curious eyes. Just cobblestones, an aging clocktower, and silence.
It was perfect for him.
He rented a room above a bakery. Kept his head down. Never let anyone walk behind him. The locals didn’t pry, and he didn’t offer anything back.
But you noticed him.
He was tall, broad, always in the same dark jacket. He moved like someone studying life from the outside—trying to memorize the rhythm of it. Watched more than spoke. At the bakery, he never haggled—just nodded, paid in full, and left. Over time, he started greeting the baker. Murmured a stiff “thank you” like he’d practiced it. You even caught him trying to smile once. It didn’t quite reach his eyes, but the attempt was there.
At the market, he lingered. Watched people barter. Mirrored how they tapped scales or leaned in to laugh. He looked like he was trying to relearn how to be human.
He often came to the café where you worked part-time. A small, tucked-away place across from a crooked bench and flickering lamp post. That bench became his perch. He’d sit, stiff-backed, notebook in hand—too small for his fingers, but he wrote in it anyway. Not often. Just a few lines, then he’d tuck it away like it mattered.
You watched him from behind the counter. Pretending not to. But he stood out—quietly. Like a story you couldn’t quite read.
Once, you saw him flinch—actually flinch—at a fat green caterpillar crawling over a daisy by the café door. He took a full step back like it had hissed at him. You barely kept your laughter in. He took a full step back, like it had hissed. You barely kept your laughter in.
Another time, a stray cat jumped onto his bench. He just blinked at it, then scratched behind its ear like he wasn’t sure how. Two more joined. That evening, he walked in covered in cat fur.
You handed him his usual—black coffee. No sugar. No milk. But this time, you added a glazed donut beside it.
“On me,” you said softly. “You’re a regular now.”
He stilled. Shoulders tense, gaze sharp. Like he hadn’t planned for kindness.
You raised your hands gently. “No pressure. Just sugar.”
He hesitated, then gave a slow, reluctant nod.
And he ate the donut.
The next day, he was back on the bench again—early afternoon, sunlight brushing through the thinning trees. You brought his coffee out and hovered a little longer.
“Do you like cats?” you asked.
He didn’t answer. Just gave a tiny nod, almost imperceptible.
Your grin grew. You pulled out your phone. “Wanna see mine?”
You held up your phone—a photo of a chonky black cat sprawled across your kitchen table like a lazy prince, belly up, legs akimbo, mid-yawn. “That’s Noa,” you said, grinning. “I found him at night, back in Romania. So—Noa. From noapte (night). He only answers when he feels like it. Fat chonk gremlin thinks he’s royalty. Loves pumpkin purée more than tuna, for some reason.”
You chuckled softly to yourself, expecting silence again.
But then came his voice—quiet, deep.
“Noa. Suits him.”
You blinked. It caught you off guard—not just that he spoke, but the way his voice wrapped around the name. Calm. Unhurried.
You tilted your head, smirking. “You can actually talk?”
He huffed through his nose. A breathy, reluctant sound. But it was amused. The closest thing to a laugh you’d seen from him yet.
You’d take it.
A week later, he tapped the edge of the table when you brought his drink.
You raised a brow. “Want me to sit?”
He nodded, eyes still on his cup.
So you did.
You didn’t talk that first time. Just sat, close enough that your knees brushed beneath the table whenever one of you shifted. He didn’t flinch. That felt… like something.
It became a habit. Not always. But often enough that the seat across from him started feeling like yours.
One quiet day, after closing early, he was still there—scribbling in that little notebook. You sat down with your tea, watching him.
“I’ve seen the way you move through the village,” you said. “Like you’re learning. Studying how people work.”
He stilled, pen pausing mid-stroke.
“I think you’re trying to be more human. Or trying to remember how. If you ever need help… I’m good at pretending to be human.”
Still no reply. But he didn’t leave.
You leaned in slightly. “I swear on Noa, I’m a solid secret keeper. He’s the only one I tell things to. And unless he starts speaking, your secrets are safe with the cats.”
That did it.
A low chuckle escaped him. He shook his head, eyes down—and smiled.
It wasn’t wide. Not perfect.
But it was real.
Something pulled tight and warm in your chest. You smiled back, trying to play it cool while your heart scrambled.
You’d started seeing him outside the café more often.
Not exactly planned meetings—but they became frequent enough to feel like a habit. You’d catch him on your way home. Sometimes, he’d be waiting at the park bench with his notebook. Other times, you’d spot him loitering near the market until you finally walked up and dragged him into conversation.
You were the one insisting on it—on helping. And to his quiet credit, he let you.
“I mean,” you said one afternoon as the two of you strolled down a quiet lane just past the edge of the village, “you’ve gotten pretty damn good at talking, considering how you used to communicate in grunts and side-eye.”
He gave you a sharp glance, but there was warmth tucked into it. “Didn’t grunt.”
You snorted. “You did. I have witnesses.”
He shook his head, but you caught the curve of his mouth. He wasn’t quite smiling, but it was there, that pull—like he was getting used to the idea of letting something reach him.
“I’m serious, though,” you said, more gently now. “You’ve picked up on social cues really well. You don’t stare at people like they’re puzzles anymore. You even laugh sometimes.”
“I don’t laugh.”
“You chuckled when I told you Noa tried to eat my eyebrow pencil. That counts.”
He sighed. It wasn’t irritated. Just resigned.
You looked at him, eyes soft. “Anything else you want to work on? Anything you need practice with?”
That made him pause.
You both stopped walking, the dusty road quiet around you. The breeze shifted, carrying the smell of firewood and something herbal from a nearby window.
Then he said it—low and measured.
“Human touch.”
You turned to face him. “Touch?”
There was a silence between you, and in that moment, it held weight. Like a breath held too long.
“I forgot,” he said slowly, eyes not quite meeting yours. “What normal touches feel like.”
You felt something stutter in your chest. You wanted to ask more—about what he meant, about what kind of touches he did remember—but something in his voice told you not to. There was a darker layer beneath that calm tone, a history stitched into his skin, and you knew better than to tug at those seams without invitation.
Your gaze dropped for a second—to the gloved hand at his side. The right one.
That other arm—his left—was usually hidden, but sometimes you’d catch it glinting beneath his sleeve. Sleek metal, darker than silver, and forged with faint grooves along the knuckles. You’d never asked about it. Even though you were curious as hell.
Even now, it caught the light—a quiet shimmer beneath the worn fabric.
You took a slow breath. “Do you want to try?”
He blinked. “Try what?”
You lifted your hand, palm up. Open. Gentle.
“I mean… my hand’s not exactly groundbreaking,” you said with a light smile, trying to ease the sudden weight of the moment, “but if you want to… I dunno. Start small. No pressure.”
He stared at your hand.
For a second, you weren’t sure he’d move.
But then—without a word—he reached up and tugged the glove from his right hand. His flesh hand. The one that looked weathered but strong, broad-knuckled with veins that caught just beneath the skin. His fingers flexed once in the air, almost uncertainly, like they were trying to remember how to approach something.
He didn’t grab you. Didn’t squeeze.
Instead, he touched the center of your palm first. Just with the tips of two fingers. A featherlight stroke.
You didn’t flinch. Didn’t move.
He traced slowly. His forefinger curling against your skin, drawing a slow, shaky line toward the base of your thumb. His touch wasn’t smooth—it trembled, faintly. Like he was afraid he’d do it wrong. As if even this small contact required permission.
Then, after a pause, his entire hand lowered into yours—deliberate, careful. He fit his fingers into the spaces between yours, but not all the way. Just hovered there. Testing.
You let your fingers curl softly around his. Closed the gap.
His breath caught.
For a long, quiet moment, you stood like that. His hand warming against yours, every inch of skin-to-skin charged with something unspoken. And when he finally wrapped his hand fully around yours—gently, so gently—it felt like a tether. Like he was anchoring himself to something he couldn’t name.
You didn’t speak. Didn’t tease. You just let him hold you, because it felt like he needed it.
And when he looked down at your joined hands, eyes blinking slow, the smallest crease formed between his brows—confused, maybe. Or overwhelmed. Like he wasn’t sure what to do with softness that didn’t come with strings.
You squeezed lightly. Just once.
He didn’t let go.
And something about that… moved in you.
You weren’t sure what it was exactly—only that it lit something behind your ribs. Like an invisible string tugged its way from your palm to somewhere along your spine, curling low and quiet and warm. It didn’t hurt. It wasn’t wrong. But it made you feel… squirmy. Restless. Like there was something else happening beneath your skin that hadn’t been there a second ago.
You stayed still anyway. Let the moment stretch.
But he must have felt it—something shifting, or maybe just the timing of it all—because after a few more seconds, he slowly unhooked his fingers from yours and pulled his hand back. Carefully. Like he didn’t want to break something.
You didn’t say anything.
Neither did he.
But from that day on, the “touch training” became a regular part of your meetings.
It started innocently enough. A brush of shoulders while walking. The occasional graze of his knuckles when he passed you something. You let him explore the idea of safe contact—real, present, unprogrammed. And in turn, he let you see how deeply lonely he must have been to crave it in silence all this time.
Today, you told him you were ready for the next step. “We’ve done hands,” you said with a teasing smile, standing beneath the low branches of a pine tree that shaded your usual path. “Now let’s try hugs.”
He didn’t move at first.
Then—slowly—he nodded.
You took a breath. Arms out. Waiting.
He stepped forward, movements uncertain but controlled. His arms wrapped around you not like someone who had done it a thousand times, but like someone trying to replicate something from memory. Not tightly at first. Just enough to encircle you.
You stood there, letting the contact settle in. His chest was warm. Firm beneath your cheek. His breath slow against your hair. But then…
Something inside you curled.
It was that feeling again—that tight, electric buzz in your stomach. That low twist of pressure that felt… weird. Not in a bad way. Just… complicated. Your insides knotted, not from fear or nerves, but something else. Something unnamed.
He smelled like cedar soap and wood smoke. His heart beat slow. Heavy. Constant.
And then his arms shifted—pulling you in closer. Just slightly. But closer.
The hug deepened. Changed.
You weren’t sure how, but the second his body pressed more fully against yours, you felt it again: that same shiver in your chest, sliding low through your belly like something melting. Your breath caught. You didn’t understand it, not really. You didn’t even have a name for the feeling.
You didn’t know that was what want felt like.
You swallowed hard and buried it. Ignored it. Because he didn’t seem to notice anything strange.
At least, you didn’t think he did.
The last thing you remembered was the sound of his breath near your ear. His hand between your shoulder blades, steady and warm.
The next time you opened your eyes—he was gone.
You were no longer in his arms.
You were strapped to a chair.
Metal. Ice-cold. The kind that bit through your clothes and dug into your spine. Thick cuffs pressed around your wrists, holding you in place. Your ankles were bound, too—tight and immovable. The room around you was dark, echoing. Empty, except for the faint buzz of electricity overhead.
A single bulb swung slowly above you, the only source of light. It flickered once. Twice.
Your vision was still blurry. Mind fogged, sluggish. But your body knew something was wrong before your brain could catch up. Your head pulsed with pressure. And your arm—your right arm—ached.
You blinked downward, slow and heavy, catching the faint pinprick of dried blood at your inner elbow. A needle mark.
You’d been injected.
The panic didn’t hit all at once—it crept in slowly, like ice cracking beneath your skin. Your breath came shallow. You tried to move, to speak, to scream, but nothing useful came out. Just a hoarse breath. Dry. Weak.
And then you heard it.
Voices. Low and sharp. Coming from beyond the door.
Russian.
At least three men, maybe four, talking quickly—too quickly for your foggy brain to translate. The hinges of a metal door groaned. Then footsteps. Heavy boots. Closer. Echoing.
You tried to brace yourself.
But you couldn’t even remember how you got here.
All you knew was that a moment ago, you were in his arms.
And now… you were alone.
The door creaked open with a loud metallic groan, and four men stepped into the cell.
All in black. Boots heavy. Faces unreadable under buzzcuts and shadows. One of them—broad, smug, older—stepped forward like he owned the ground he walked on. The others fanned out like guards, or wolves waiting to be told when to bite.
He tilted his head. Eyes gleamed as he looked you over like you were inventory.
“Well, well,” he drawled. “Feeling better?”
You barely lifted your head. Everything ached—your skull, your arm, your gut. You tried to speak, but the words clung to your tongue like glue.
He didn’t wait for an answer.
“Got what we needed, thanks to you.”
You blinked at him, dazed and confused.
He grinned like a jackal. “Soft little village girl walks into his life, and boom—he forgets what he is.”
He crouched a little, closer to your face now. His breath reeked of blood and smoke.
“Our asset went soft,” he spat. “You made him soft.”
The word dripped with disgust.
You stared at him, blinking through the fog in your brain.
“Where is he?” you rasped. “What did you—where’s the man I was with?”
His grin widened. “Man?”
He laughed. Sharp and cruel. One of the others snorted behind him.
“That wasn’t a man, darling. That was a weapon. And now he’s exactly where he belongs.”
He rose to full height again. “Different cell. Alone. Like he should be. We’re reprogramming his brain.”
The blood in your veins turned to ice.
Hydra.
You didn’t even have to ask.
You knew exactly what they were—what that name meant, what it carried.
The older man smirked, noticing your change in expression. “Ah. Now it clicks.”
You felt sick. Your stomach turned. But still—you shook your head.
“No,” you said. “You’re wrong. He’s not like that anymore. He’s—”
“James Buchanan Barnes,” the man interrupted, lips curling with glee. “Winter Soldier. Ring any bells?”
You went still.
James.
The name slammed into your chest like a blunt weapon.
“And you,” he sneered, “got in the way. Made him weak. Turned him into a fucking puppy.”
You didn’t answer.
You couldn’t.
“We should’ve killed you,” he added, almost casually. “Collateral damage. But lucky you—we had something better.”
He gestured to your arm. “You’ve been injected.”
You glanced down, breath catching at the sting on your inner elbow. The tiny welt. The bruising.
“A gift,” he said, all false cheer. “We call it a mirror. Brings out the dark stuff. Whatever’s locked deep inside. Instinct. Want. Urge.”
He leaned down one last time, lips close to your ear.
“You’ll be placed in his cell when it’s time. Once he’s been… tuned.”
He straightened, already walking away.
“Let’s see what happens when we give the monster exactly what he wants.”
The men laughed—cold, barking sounds that echoed as they stepped out.
The door slammed shut behind them with a brutal, final thud.
[BUCKY POV]
The sting in his neck came first.
Then the cold.
Then nothing.
Just flashes.
Boots dragging him across concrete. Metal floors. Voices scraping through static—low, clipped, familiar.
Russian.
Fucking Hydra.
He came to strapped into a chair.
No. The chair.
The one they used when they wanted to rip you out of yourself and leave the bones behind.
Thick leather cuffs bit into his wrists. Ankles locked. Wires pressed cold and sharp against his chest. A band wrapped tight around his head, wired into the humming machine behind him. He didn’t have to turn to see it.
He knew it. Every screw. Every sound.
He could feel the current buzzing in the wires before it even touched him.
His jaw tensed. Shoulders squared.
Don’t show it. Don’t move. Don’t give them anything.
Then the door creaked open.
Three of them stepped in—uniformed, smug, smiling like they were about to unwrap a weapon, not a man.
“Back where you belong,” one sneered. “Didn’t take much, huh?”
The second laughed. “Too easy. Poor thing really thought he was human.”
The third passed by, tapping a syringe. “Relax. We’re not wasting the asset. Just giving him a little… reminder.”
Bucky stayed silent.
They didn’t expect a response. Not yet.
“We already dosed the girl,” one of them said, voice curling with amusement. “Desire-enhancer. She’ll be begging for him before the hour’s out.”
“And yours?” the last one smirked, fingers hovering over a switch. “We upgraded it. Stronger. With a twist.”
He flipped it.
The current hit like fire.
Bucky’s spine arched against the restraints. A choked sound tore from his throat as electricity ripped through him—nerve to nerve, bone to bone. Sparks blurred his vision. Static roared in his skull.
His name vanished.
His mind split.
But somewhere, buried in the white-hot haze—you.
Your laugh. Your voice. The softness of your hand in his. The way your eyes never flinched when they met his.
Hold onto that. Don’t lose her.
He tried. God, he tried.
But the machine clawed deeper. Pulling him apart from the inside. Ripping softness from his bones, kindness from his memory. Replacing it with silence. Precision. Directives etched where memory used to be.
When it finally stopped, his body sagged forward, gasping. Muscles trembling. Jaw clenched so tight he tasted blood.
But something was off.
He wasn’t gone.
Not all the way.
Not the Soldier. Not Bucky.
Something in between. Something worse.
The serum already pulsed in his blood, coiling around every raw edge. Every flicker of need. It sank claws into the parts of him that still felt.
And what he felt now—
Was you.
But not with love.
With hunger.
Every memory of your skin, your voice, your scent—it all shifted. No longer comfort.
Triggers.
He needed to hear your breath catch. Feel your body tense under his. Mark you until you knew he was there, even after he was gone.
To take.
To claim.
To never stop.
[END OF POV]
The door to your cell groaned open, flooding your ears with the shriek of rusted hinges.
You blinked against the sudden light, but it barely helped. Everything around you was still dark—your vision tunneled, your limbs heavy, your skin burning.
You barely registered the two guards entering.
Thick fingers undid the straps around your wrists and ankles. Cold hands hauled you up before you could find your own footing.
Your legs buckled once.
“Move,” one of them growled, dragging you out into the hall.
You stumbled forward, caught between their grips. The corridor was dim and narrow, stone underfoot, cold air brushing your fevered skin. You could hardly see—just outlines and flickers of shadows along the walls.
But none of it mattered.
Because you felt him.
Somewhere ahead. Close.
Your whole body throbbed with it. Like your nerves were no longer your own. All you could think—feel—was the need for him. Not the gentle kind. Not the kind with whispered touches and stolen glances.
You wanted him inside you.
You wanted him to tear you apart and put you back together with his hands, his mouth, his body.
It was a hunger that crawled under your skin and made you feel like you’d melt if you didn’t touch him soon.
The guards reached a door at the end of the hallway—wider, steel-reinforced. One of them punched in a code. The other turned the handle.
You shivered, your skin hypersensitive under the thin fabric of the knee-length dress you still wore—soft and light, now clinging slightly with sweat. It felt out of place here. Too exposed. Too easy to pull up. A whisper of softness in a place built to break you.
And then they shoved you in.
You stumbled again, caught your balance on instinct, heart hammering.
The room was bright.
Too bright. Walls blinding white. Sanitized. Cold and clean in a way that made your skin crawl.
There was a bed, bolted to the floor. A single chair in the corner. No windows. No shadows.
Cameras. You knew there were cameras. Probably hidden in the corners, blinking silently as they watched you unravel.
Your eyes adjusted—and then you saw him.
Bucky.
Only—he wasn’t quite Bucky anymore.
He stood near the back of the room, facing the opposite wall. Shoulders tense, spine straight, chest heaving beneath the thin black shirt that clung to every ridge of muscle. His metal arm gleamed under the overhead lights—exposed now, the red star dark against the metal.
He turned toward you.
And your breath caught in your throat.
His eyes.
Not soft. Not tired. Not like before.
They were darker. Sharper. Focused.
Predatory.
He looked at you like he already knew what you were feeling—because he felt it, too. Because he wanted it. Wanted you.
But not gently.
Not sweetly.
There was no careful Bucky here.
This was the Winter Soldier.
And he wanted to ruin you.
Your breath caught in your throat, your pulse thundering in your ears as you took one slow, trembling step forward.
“James…”
The name slipped out—quiet. Barely above a whisper.
His head tilted slightly at the sound of it. His eyes flicked toward you, nostrils flaring like a wild animal scenting prey. His shoulders rose with a slow inhale.
But he didn’t speak.
Didn’t blink.
Didn’t move.
You swallowed hard, body tense, skin prickling as the serum’s grip twisted deeper in your belly. The heat was unbearable. Your thighs pressed together instinctively, trying to stop the ache, but it only pulsed harder. Your cunt throbbed, needy and swollen, aching for him—only him.
Still, you tried to stay in control.
“I want you,” you rasped, your voice hoarse with restraint. “God, I want you so bad it hurts—inside, everywhere—but I know it’s the serum. I know Hydra did this.”
He didn’t move. His jaw flexed.
“I don’t want to take advantage of you,” you continued, your voice cracking. “I never wanted this to happen like this. Not with you like this. I wanted—I wanted you—but not like this.”
He was still silent.
But something flickered in his eyes.
A shadow of the man you’d held before. The man who’d brushed his fingertips across your palm like it meant something. Who smiled when you talked about your cat. Who let you into his world one inch at a time.
That man was still there.
Barely.
And he was fighting.
But the desire was eating you alive.
“I’m trying to fight it,” you whispered, stepping back until your shoulders hit the wall. Your hands flattened behind you, bracing against cold white. “But I—fuck—I can’t. I’m so wet it hurts. I’ve been clenching around nothing thinking about you, and I hate it. I hate how badly I want you right now. I want you inside me. Filling me. Stretching me. Ruining me.”
His eyes darkened.
A crack formed in his stillness.
Then he growled something low under his breath—in Russian.
“Хватит говорить.”
Stop talking.
The words barely left his lips before he moved.
He lunged.
In less than a breath, his body crashed into yours, pinning you against the wall. The impact stole the air from your lungs. You gasped, but he was already on you—his metal hand seizing your wrist and slamming it above your head, hard and cold and unrelenting.
The other hand gripped your waist, lifting you slightly off the ground as his mouth crushed into yours.
It wasn’t a kiss.
It was a claim.
Teeth. Heat. Pressure. Desperation.
You tried to push him away—tried to gather what little control you had left—but it was useless. Your hands, your mouth, your body all betrayed you. Your hips rolled up against him like they had a mind of their own, your thighs shaking.
You moaned into his mouth, unable to stop yourself.
There was no softness in the way he kissed you.
It was all teeth and heat and panting breaths, mouths crashing over and over, no rhythm—just hunger. Every movement from him was brutal, precise, urgent. Like he was trying to rip the need out of himself and shove it into you.
Your body burned.
Your cunt clenched around nothing, soaking through your underwear.
The sound of your whimper made his grip tighten.
His metal arm held you like steel, unrelenting, fingertips bruising where they curled around your skin. You were pinned in place, completely at his mercy—and yet, all you could think about was how badly you wanted more.
Your free hand curled in his shirt, yanking him closer. Your legs lifted, wrapping around his hips as he held you pinned.
Your back hit the wall again with a thud as he ground against you—rough, hard, hot. His cock was already stiff beneath his pants, pressing against the curve of your cunt, and it made you cry out—the contact was too much, not enough, everything and nothing at once.
His mouth tore away from yours, lips red and wet, breath ragged.
You barely heard the static click of the camera in the corner behind you.
Hydra was watching.
And they were delighted.
The serum wasn’t meant to end in one round.
It was designed to feed itself.
To keep you both burning.
To keep you needing until you were hollowed out.
Even if it killed you.
And right now, with Bucky’s mouth on your throat, his hand tearing at your clothes, and your body already grinding down against him—
You weren’t sure you’d live through it.
But God—you wanted to.
His mouth dragged lower, tongue hot against your collarbone, and then suddenly—
RIP.
Your dress split down the middle with one brutal yank—his metal arm tearing through the fabric like paper. The sound cracked through the room, echoing against the white walls.
You gasped, trembling, suddenly half-naked—left only in your soaked underwear and a thin, non-padded bra. The cold air met your feverish skin, and your nipples peaked instantly, painfully hard under the sudden exposure.
He saw them.
And groaned.
A low, guttural sound. Not desperate. Not hungry in the way a man would be. But programmed. Like a predator recognizing its target.
His mouth closed over your left nipple through the thin fabric—biting, sucking, dragging his teeth over it like he wanted to bruise you there. The stimulation made your knees buckle, but he didn’t let you fall.
His arm still held your wrist tight above your head, unrelenting, while his free hand gripped your waist to keep you still.
He was in control. Utterly. Entirely.
You squirmed, hips rolling forward, grinding against the solid length of his cock through his pants, your wet panties dragging along the ridge of it with every movement.
“Fuck,” you whimpered. “James.”
He didn’t blink.
Didn’t pant.
Didn’t tremble.
Not like you.
He was still—his eyes sharp, his mouth ruthless, his body composed like he wasn’t even breathing hard.
Because he wasn’t.
He was in Winter Soldier mode now.
And Winter Soldiers didn’t pant.
With a quick shift, his flesh hand reached behind you, unclasped your bra with a practiced jerk. The clasp snapped open, and he yanked it down your arms, tossing it to the floor without ever loosening his grip.
Then his hands—both of them—were on your breasts.
He squeezed hard.
Too hard.
You cried out at the pressure, but your cunt clenched in response. Slick coated the inside of your thighs, your underwear already soaked through, sticking to you like a second skin.
“James—James, please,” you gasped. “I need—I need you inside me, I need it, I can’t—”
Still no response.
Just that single flash of his eyes before his metal hand dropped down, hooking into the waistband of your underwear. He didn’t pull it down.
He tore it off.
The fabric snapped apart in his grip, and your gasp turned into a full moan.
Your thighs parted without thinking. Your hips bucked.
You were so fucking wet.
The air hit your pussy and made it worse—the heat, the slick, the hollow ache deep inside. You were clenching around nothing, sobbing through your teeth, begging like it was the only language left in your body.
“Please, please, please—James—fuck me—”
You barely had time to breathe.
You felt the heat of him between your legs—thick, hot, pulsing. Then came the sound of a zipper—fabric shifting just enough for him to free himself.
He didn’t undress. Just shoved his pants low enough to free his cock.
Thick. Veined. Angry-red and leaking.
You gasped. “Wait—”
But he wasn’t built to wait.
His metal hand gripped your hip, cold and unrelenting. His flesh hand slid under your thigh, hoisting your leg up and pinning it to his side.
Just one leg.
Just enough to open you.
And then—he drove forward.
No warning. No teasing. No care.
Just a brutal thrust that knocked the breath from your lungs and slammed your back into the wall.
You screamed.
The stretch lit your nerves on fire, forced your body to open around him—thick and hard and so deep it hurt. But the pain was nothing compared to the ache that came before it.
Now that he was inside you, your body clenched like it never wanted him to leave.
He pulled back, barely.
Then thrust in again.
Harder.
Faster.
He fucked you like he was trying to purge something from his bloodstream—his hips snapping forward with unrelenting force, again and again, every motion slamming you into the cold wall behind.
You weren’t just holding on—you were unraveling.
Your hands scrabbled at his shoulders, fingers digging in wherever they could find purchase. One leg hooked up high on his waist, the other shaking, barely able to hold you upright, but he didn’t falter.
The wet slap of skin echoed in the sterile white cell. Your moans cracked open and feral, your body shaking with every punishing stroke—and he?
He didn’t blink.
Didn’t groan. Didn’t pant.
He just fucked.
Mechanical. Precise. Feral.
The Winter Soldier wasn’t built to feel.
He was built to finish.
And that’s exactly what he intended to do.
He didn’t stop.
Not even when your spine slammed against the wall again, the shock rattling through your ribs.
Not when your lifted leg started to tremble, slipping a little against his side.
Not when your moans broke into gasps—ragged, breathless, barely hanging on.
He only growled—low and wordless—and wrapped his arms around you, metal and flesh, lifting you clean off the ground with a brutal grip.
You cried out as your back arched involuntarily, still so full of him.
He carried you—still inside you—across the room in a few fast, purposeful strides. His cock didn’t slip once. The stretch remained deep, unforgiving, dragging across every nerve inside you like it belonged there.
Then you hit the mattress.
Hard.
The springs squealed beneath your weight as he slammed into you again. No rhythm now—just sheer force. He was fucking like a machine with one directive: use. release. repeat.
Your eyes rolled back. You couldn’t breathe.
You didn’t even want to.
You were burning alive from the inside out and still you needed more.
But then—he stopped.
Pulled out.
You gasped from the loss, legs trembling, your cunt clenching around nothing.
“Flip,” he barked. The only word he’d said since entering you.
Your dazed mind barely registered the command, but your body obeyed—rolling over, knees digging into the mattress, arms braced, still shaking from the first onslaught.
You didn’t even get the chance to settle before he grabbed your hips—his metal hand gripping tight enough to bruise—and slammed into you again.
No warning. No patience.
You screamed into the mattress, forehead dropping forward, hands clawing at the sheets for something to hold onto.
He pounded into you from behind with no rhythm, just relentless depth—every thrust jarring your body forward, dragging a fresh moan from your throat.
It hurt.
It burned.
But God, you were so close.
So close you were choking on it, dizzy with it. Your body betrayed you completely, clenching, spiraling, seconds away—
But he didn’t let you come like that.
Not from behind.
Because the Winter Soldier wasn’t done with you yet.
He pulled out suddenly, flipping you over like a ragdoll—no tenderness, just force—and shoved himself back in with a violent thrust that made your hips lift off the bed.
Your mouth fell open in a silent scream as he slammed into you, now facing him.
His face was blank. Eyes wild. Breath controlled.
You, on the other hand—were falling apart.
He fucked you violently, brutally, each thrust harder than the last, hips crashing into yours like you were built to take it.
And you did.
You came hard.
So hard your body spasmed, your nails digging into his shoulders, your voice breaking apart on his name—“James—oh fuck—James—”—as you shattered beneath him.
You shook.
Convulsed.
Almost blacked out.
But he didn’t stop.
You tried to breathe, to beg for a pause, but your lungs wouldn’t cooperate and neither would he.
His thrusts grew even rougher—inhuman—and then with a sharp, guttural exhale, he came too.
You felt it.
Hot and thick, pumping inside you in waves.
But he didn’t stop moving.
He kept going.
His cock still hard, still twitching inside you, still thrusting, like his brain didn’t register release as a signal to stop.
You gasped, overwhelmed. Your hands scrambled for his chest—“wait, wait—”
But he didn’t hear you.
Didn’t want to hear you.
Your body convulsed again, overstimulated, throat hoarse from moaning and screaming and gasping for air like you were drowning beneath him.
It almost felt like you could die from it.
And only then—finally—he pulled out.
Leaving you empty, ruined, soaking in your own slick and his cum, your legs still spread, your chest heaving like you’d run for miles and your heart might never slow down again.
He wasn’t done.
Even after spilling inside you—after wringing you dry and watching you break—he still wasn’t done.
The Winter Soldier moved with a single, controlled motion, shifting downward along the bed, his metal hand still gripping your thigh, prying it open wider. You tried to close your legs, weak and trembling, but it was useless. He forced them apart like it was protocol. Like this was routine.
He dove between your legs without a word.
Not hungry.
Not greedy.
But driven.
Programmed.
His tongue dragged along your folds—slow, deliberate. Gathering everything. Your slick. His cum. All of it. He wanted it. Wanted to taste it. To keep stimulating you until you broke again. Until your body couldn’t take it anymore.
He licked deeper.
Sucked on your swollen clit until your legs kicked out on reflex, your throat catching on a sound you couldn’t even shape into a word.
Your hips bucked weakly. You tried to push at his shoulders, but he didn’t move.
He was a machine.
And you were his task.
He kept going—precise licks, tight suction, his tongue fucking into you like he had been ordered to memorize your body and extract your climax as efficiently as possible.
You were already so sensitive. So raw. You couldn’t even process the pleasure anymore—it felt like pain. Like lightning.
You sobbed out his name again. “James—please—”
Still nothing.
No reaction.
And then—
You came again.
Your body convulsed violently, back arching off the mattress, vision tunneling. Your voice cracked open around the moan, and this time, it wasn’t lust.
It was a cry for help.
“B-Bucky—!”
His name tore from your throat like a sob—like a plea from somewhere deeper than instinct.
And it stopped him cold.
His mouth froze. His grip loosened. The relentless pace, the way his tongue had been driving you toward the edge—all of it stopped in an instant.
You couldn’t breathe right. Your chest was heaving, every sob catching sharp under your ribs. One arm had gone slack beside you on the sheets. Your thighs trembled where they draped over his shoulders—still open, still shaking. Your back arched off the bed in aftershock, your cheek damp with tears you hadn’t realized were falling.
And then—he looked at you.
Really looked at you.
His head tilted slightly, like something wasn’t computing—like your voice had hit a frequency he couldn’t filter out. His eyes, still dark and storming, moved over you slowly. The marks on your hips. The red prints around your wrists. Your swollen lips. The way your body shook in his arms.
His gaze landed on your face last.
The tears.
The way you whispered his name again, softer this time.
“Bucky…”
A breath caught in his throat—different from the harsh, mechanical rhythm he’d been running on. This one was shallow. Fragile. Human.
And then—
Something cracked.
You saw it.
Like a wire snapped behind his eyes. His brows drew in sharply, lips parting, shoulders falling—not with discipline but with shock. The kind of shock that came with recognition.
The Soldier had no use for guilt.
But Bucky Barnes did.
He stepped back.
Stumbled.
Like his legs suddenly remembered how to give out.
“No—” he rasped, voice frayed and hoarse and unmistakably his. “No, no, shit—fuck—I didn’t—”
He looked down at his hands like they didn’t belong to him. One metal, one trembling. Covered in sweat, in your slick, in proof of everything he’d just done.
His breath hitched. “I’m sorry,” he whispered—raw and cracked open.
And when he reached for you this time—
It wasn’t to hold you down.
It was to hold you up.
He eased you up—gentle now. Hands soft under your arms, cradling your head as he slowly pulled you into a seated position. You gasped for air, your body shaking like a leaf, lungs still catching up to the storm he’d left in you.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered again, his voice shredded. “I didn’t—I wasn’t—I lost control. I didn’t know how to stop.”
Your head dropped into his chest. You were still trembling. Still clenching around nothing. Still throbbing for him.
But now… it was different.
Now it was safe.
Now it was him.
You felt his heartbeat under your cheek—fast, uneven, not cold or programmed, but human. Real.
“Bucky,” you rasped, barely a breath.
“I’m here,” he whispered, his fingers trembling as they tucked your hair behind your ear. “I’ve got you. I’m so fucking sorry—I’d never hurt you. I swear I’d never—” His voice broke. His mouth pressed into your temple, like he was trying to will the shame out of his body. “I’d rather die than touch you like that by choice.”
You exhaled shakily. Your palms pressed to his chest—warm, solid, familiar.
You nodded.
You believed him.
Because you were just… you.
Just a civilian.
And even with that serum still curling in your veins, you were never built to keep up with the machine he’d been forced to become. Not with the brutal rhythm. Not with the stamina. Not with the feral need he had been hijacked by.
You were still aching—still wrecked, still wanting—but now, what you needed more than anything…
Was a breath.
A pause.
A moment to live.
And for the first time in hours…
You had one.
Bucky sat at the edge of the bed—his dark shirt clinging to him, damp with sweat. His breath had evened out, but his shoulders stayed tense, like something inside him still hadn’t fully unclenched. He hadn’t stopped watching you—not since you said his name. Not since the Winter Soldier slipped back into the dark, and something human took its place.
He reached out, slow and unsure, brushing a knuckle along your jaw.
“Do you… need to stop?” he asked, voice low. Careful. Not cold. Not commanding.
Just a man trying to make sense of what was left.
You didn’t answer right away.
Your body was still shaking, legs drawn in now, curled close to your chest. You’d pulled the sheet around your hips at some point, but the sweat, the slick, the after of everything still clung to your skin.
And the ache between your legs hadn’t faded.
If anything—it pulsed deeper. Slower. But steady.
“Hydra’s watching,” he said, quieter now. “They’ll see I broke protocol. They’ll know I’m not… him.”
He swallowed hard. Shame flickered behind his eyes like a faultline.
“I shouldn’t have let it go that far. I shouldn’t have touched you like that—not with them watching. Not like I was still—” He cut himself off.
He reached for the shredded fabric of your dress, trying to drape it over you again.
“I’ll get us out,” he muttered, jaw tight. “I’ll rip through every one of them if I have to. I’ll make them pay for using you. For using me.”
But before he could stand, your fingers wrapped gently around his wrist.
Not to stop him.
Just… to hold him there.
“No,” you whispered, voice raw and dry. “I still need you.”
His brow furrowed, uncertain.
Your hand slid down—hesitant at first—then wrapped around him directly, where his cock rested heavy between his thighs.
He was half-hard. Already twitching back to life.
You stroked once.
Then again.
“I’m still aching,” you murmured. “Still burning from that serum. It hurts, Bucky.”
He flinched at the sound of his name.
“I know it’s wrong,” you continued, your palm moving slow and steady. “But it’s still inside me. It hasn’t worn off. You can help. You can stop the burn.”
His hand came down to catch yours—trying to still it, but not really pulling away. Just… pausing.
“Not like before,” you added, your voice quieter. More certain. “I don’t want the Winter Soldier.”
You shifted your knees apart, just enough to make the invitation unmistakable.
“I want you.”
His jaw locked.
He was still for a long second—then his hand eased around yours, guiding the stroke. His shoulders dropped, tension melting like ice under sunlight.
You were still looking up at him when he bent forward and pressed his lips to your forehead.
It was brief.
But it was him.
He didn’t move at first. Just sat there beside you—silent, tense. Like he was waiting for you to change your mind. Like he wouldn’t touch you unless you asked.
You reached out first.
Fingers curling gently around his wrist. Not to drag him close.
Just to let him know you hadn’t pulled away.
That you still wanted this.
Bucky looked at you—longer this time. Eyes searching. Then he gave a small nod, like he understood. Like he’d follow your pace, whatever it was.
He leaned in slowly, like every inch forward was a question.
Then his mouth met yours.
Not rough. Not rushed.
Just heat. Just lips. Just a man trying to ground himself in something real.
The kiss was soft, tentative. Testing the shape of trust between you. His tongue brushed yours carefully, tasting—not claiming. His hand slid to your side, fingertips brushing sweat-damp skin. He paused at your hip, his touch feather-light, almost unsure.
“Tell me if anything hurts,” he murmured against your lips, voice strained. “I need to know.”
You nodded, breath shaky.
“I will.”
He drew back just enough to look down at you—then shifted, lowering one hand from your side. His flesh palm found your breast, cupping it gently. You gasped as his thumb circled your nipple—slow, delicate, like he was memorizing the way your breath hitched for him.
Then he moved, steady and deliberate—propping himself up slightly on his metal arm while his other hand slipped between your bodies.
He wrapped his fingers around his cock—still slick, still heavy—and stroked it once, twice. Just enough to guide himself to your entrance.
You parted your legs.
Not in surrender.
In choice.
He hovered there, the head of his cock barely pressing into your folds. The heat between your bodies simmered. But he didn’t move. Not yet.
“Is this okay?” he asked, his voice low and tight. “Do you still want this?”
You met his eyes.
“Yes.”
That was all he needed.
He pressed in—carefully, inch by inch. Your breath hitched at the stretch, your body still tender and sore, but it wasn’t pain that bloomed in your chest now.
It was fullness.
Connection.
He exhaled through his nose, brow furrowing as your body clenched around him.
You whimpered when he hit too deep, too fast.
He stopped instantly. Eyes wide.
“Did I—?”
“No,” you whispered. “Just… slow.”
So he did.
He eased in fully, hips flush to yours, both of you stilling—your foreheads brushing, your breaths shaky. Letting the moment settle.
Letting it be real.
“I didn’t want to hurt you,” he whispered. “I didn’t want it to be like before.”
You shook your head, touching his shoulder.
“Just… stay with me.”
He rocked his hips—slow and deliberate. Nothing like before. Nothing like a weapon. Just heat and care. The rhythm built gently, each thrust a quiet apology, each movement asking instead of taking.
Your legs drew around his hips, locking him deeper.
The stretch no longer burned. It warmed. It ached in a way that felt right.
He adjusted his grip, bracing his legs before slowly sitting up—keeping you wrapped around him, keeping himself buried deep. You moved with him, your thighs tightening around his waist until you were straddling his lap, chest pressed to his. His hands slid up your back, steadying you as the new position settled in.
The new position made you gasp.
“Still okay?” he asked, voice barely holding steady.
You nodded, hips beginning to move on your own.
He let you take control.
You rode him slowly, finding a rhythm that made both your mouths fall open. Your hands flattened to his chest, your eyes fluttering shut as your body pulsed around him.
And when you came—it was soft, drawn out. A slow unraveling that started low in your spine and rippled outward, your breath catching, your voice shaking as you gasped his name.
“Bucky—Bucky—”
That was what broke him.
He came with a guttural sound, arms locking around your waist, his forehead pressed to your shoulder, groaning through clenched teeth as he emptied into you.
Then silence.
Just the sound of breath and heartbeat and the sharp edge of being alive.
Not owned.
Not broken.
Just alive.
Hydra didn’t miss it.
The climax. The soft moan of his name. The tenderness.
The serum was meant to create hunger that burned until it destroyed you.
Not… this.
Not love.
Not care.
Not healing.
Alarms didn’t blare, but you felt the tension in the air shift.
Somewhere behind those walls, someone flipped a switch. Surveillance feeds caught tenderness where violence was expected. And Hydra? They didn’t like malfunctions.
You barely had time to breathe before Bucky’s body tensed beneath you.
“They’re coming,” he said, voice low. Calm. Steady.
Different.
No longer cold. No longer detached.
Just… Bucky.
He adjusted his hold, lifting you gently off his lap. His hands moved with purpose now—grounded, clear. He peeled off his shirt and pulled it over your head, helping guide your arms through the sleeves. It wasn’t oversized, but it covered what needed to be hidden. Then he grabbed the torn remains of your dress from the floor, wrapping it like a makeshift skirt around your waist.
“You okay to move?” he asked, gaze locked to yours.
You nodded, heart pounding.
He stood, turned to the metal door—and with a single kick, it crashed open with a screech.
You flinched at the sound. He didn’t.
Hydra guards rushed in, shouting orders in Russian. Too late.
Bucky was faster than them all. Brutal, efficient. He didn’t kill them—but he made sure none of them would walk straight for a while. Every strike was calculated. No wasted motion. All precision.
And then he grabbed your hand.
“Stay close to me,” he said, glancing back. “Don’t stop running.”
You nodded again, breath shallow, legs unsteady but moving.
Together, you sprinted through the narrow corridors of the Hydra base. Red lights pulsed on the walls. Somewhere behind you, someone shouted his name—the wrong one.
“Soldat!”
But Bucky didn’t turn.
He didn’t flinch.
He ran.
You ran after him.
The metal halls gave way to concrete. Concrete to dirt. Dirt to pine needles and open sky.
When you both finally burst into the night, the forest swallowed you whole. The air was cold. Clean. Real.
You stumbled, and Bucky caught you before your knees hit the ground. Without a word, he swept you into his arms and ran deeper into the woods—his chest steady, breath even, grip unshakable.
And you?
You weren’t aching anymore.
You weren’t burning.
You were… full.
Filled with him. With air. With a strange new peace.
He wasn’t just a weapon.
Not anymore.
He was a man. A human being. One that had been taken apart and rebuilt—but still capable of love, tenderness, control.
He just needed someone to help him remember.
And maybe—just maybe—that someone was you.
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artficlly · 2 months ago
Text
the art of pretending [one-shot]
marvel au bucky x agent!reader
being mentored by bucky is nothing short of torture; he’s cold, infuriating, and impossible to please. but when a mission gone wrong leaves you stranded in a freezing safehouse together, you start to wonder if all that supposed hatred has just been hiding something else entirely.
Warnings: 18+ content minors dni, smut, shower sex, unprotected sex, fingering, forced proximity, one bed, kissing, enemies to lovers-ish?, sexual tension, sparring, mentor bucky, bickering, insults, violence, bit of blood/gore/wound descriptions, bucky has issues, protective bucky, slut shaming (not from bucky), no use of y/n, lmk if i've missed anything
Word Count: 12.4k
A/N: hi! this is for some requests i received (one and two). i combined two of the requests because they were pretty similar, hope thats okay and i hope you enjoy! this took me... so long to write. i hope it doesn't flop <3 sorry for any typos - not proof read.
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You had two goals for the night: get shitfaced and get railed. So, catching your asshole boyfriend wrist-deep in some girl’s panties, doing the kind of finger work he never even bothered to learn for you, wasn’t part of your itinerary.
You could’ve cried, you could’ve begged, or collapsed into a sad cliché with a tub of ice cream and Sex and the City reruns. But no, you had a mission, and one mission alone. Get so unbelievably drunk on whatever you could get your hands on, so drunk in fact that you wanted to black out before midnight and preferably unconscious until sunset the next day.
Tony’s penthouse parties weren’t usually your scene. Too many sleazy rich men with superiority complexes, trophy wives sipping champagne through botoxed grins, and a carousel of extras that Stark always vehemently denied were hookers. What you did know was that, being an agent for S.H.I.E.L.D., your name was always on the list, and tonight, free top-shelf booze felt like divine intervention.
You just had to get in, get drunk, and avoid eye contact with your co-workers long enough to pull off a quiet mental breakdown and ignore the fact that you were rather underdressed for the type of party Stark was hosting. Scantily clad club clothing clashed hard with the pearls and Prada crowd.
A few raised brows and vague greetings followed you as you slithered through the gathering. 
But you held back a groan when you spotted the trio parked at the bar: Yelena, Steve, and Bucky. Great. The Greek god chorus of shame, in all their sculpted, judgmental glory. They looked just as uncomfortable as you felt, loitering by the bar instead of mingling with Stark’s circus.
You ignored their stares and made a beeline for the shelves behind the bartender—some poor kid who looked far too green for this gig. He gave you a look of dismay as you grabbed a bottle of tequila without asking. Slamming down a shot glass, you poured with shaky hands and knocked it back with the elegance of a car crash.
You barely registered the silence that followed until you glanced up and saw the stunned expressions staring back at you.
Yelena was the first to speak. “What happened to you? You never come to these things.”
You poured another shot. “Free drinks,” you muttered, then downed it, already lining up the next. No salt. No lime. Just pain, raw and unfiltered, sliding down your throat.
“I thought you were going out with your boyfriend?” She continued to press, while Steve looked rather scandalised as he watched you swallow back your third shot in a row with a shudder. 
Yelena reached over and snatched the bottle from your hand before you could pour again. “You should slow down.”
​​You blinked at her, teeth gritted, blood thrumming loud in your ears. She meant well. Of course she did. You’d always gotten along—ever since she’d been assigned as your mentor in your early days at S.H.I.E.L.D. You two had clicked effortlessly. It was all a part of S.H.I.E.L.D.’s long-term strategy to make field missions run smoother and reduce casualties. Avengers were paired with up-and-coming agents to pass down their experience and training, with the hope that one day, those hard-earned skills would save lives.
But everything changed when they reassigned you.
You’d been told it was to ‘broaden your skillset’, that it was about growth, adaptability, and learning from different leadership styles. What they didn’t say was that it would mean training under James Buchanan Barnes, aka Mr. No-Praise-All-Pain.
You’d tried. Really. At first, you gave it your all. Took his criticism, bit your tongue, pushed harder. But Bucky didn’t bend. He didn’t compliment. Didn’t guide. He just judged, cold and final, like every failure confirmed whatever low expectations he had of you.
Five months of that, and you were drowning. You begged for reassignment—back to Yelena, to Natasha, to anyone—but were denied every time. Some higher-up probably thought your mutual disdain was ‘motivating’, like locking two angry wolves in a cage and expecting them not to rip each other’s throats out.
And now here he was. Bucky Barnes. His suit jacket was slung carelessly over the back of his bar stool, his tie loosened just enough to reveal the sharp line of his collarbone. His dress shirt clung to his muscular frame, sleeves rolled to his elbows, exposing those unfairly defined forearms and the gleam of vibranium wrapped around a bottle of beer. His expression was stony, but familiar—stern brow, mouth set in a tight line, like he was already displeased with you and you hadn’t even said a word yet.
That look. That look you couldn’t stand.
Disappointment, or maybe pity. You couldn’t tell. Either way, it made your skin itch.
You wanted to punch him in his sullen, pouty face.
Instead, you laughed bitterly and reached for the bottle again, only for Yelena to hold it further away, firm.
“I said slow down,” she warned.
You made a face at Yelena. “Uh, you can’t talk. I saw you do shots out of a candle holder once.”
She didn’t even blink.
“Yes. And you called me messy. So I stopped.” She turned away just long enough to vanish the tequila bottle from sight like some sleight-of-hand magician. “This is me returning the favour. Stop it. You’re being messy.”
You barked out a harsh laugh and rubbed a hand down your face, smearing frustration across your cheeks. “You know what’s messy? My boyfriend. Well—ex-boyfriend.”
Across the bar, Bucky shook his head and muttered something low under his breath. You didn’t catch it, but you were sure it was vile because even Steve glanced over at him in disbelief, his eyebrows climbing high. Great. Judgment from Captain Morality and the Tin Soldier. Just what you needed.
Yelena sighed, already exhausted. “What did he do this time?”
You could tell she was reaching the end of her patience, and honestly, it was fair. She’d been your reluctant witness through the entire tragic saga of your love life. Two and a half years of emotional landmines and loser boyfriends who all somehow managed to be worse than the last. It was impressive, in a bleak kind of way.
You gestured vaguely, your expression somewhere between rage and disbelief. “I was supposed to meet him at some sleazy club downtown, his buddy was DJing—-fucking terrible DJ by the way. I’d barely walked in the door when I caught him in a back booth, fingering some girl who wasn’t even trying to be subtle about it!”
Yelena’s lips pursed. Steve stared like he’d never heard someone use the word ‘fingering’ out loud before.
“What did you do?” Yelena asked, her voice low, careful.
“Oh, the usual,” you said sweetly. “I punched him. Hard. He hit the floor like a sack of shit. Then I stepped on his hand until I felt something snap.”
Steve choked on his beer, coughing violently into his elbow. Bucky just watched you with the world's best poker face, a slight clench in his jaw muscles. 
You smiled at Steve, feral and unbothered. “Don’t worry, Cap. He won’t be playing DJ with anyone’s body parts anytime soon.”
Yelena gave a low whistle, somewhere between impressed and alarmed. “You actually broke his hand?”
“Felt like justice.” You shrugged. “Plus, he was always texting with that hand. Two birds, one stomp.”
“That’s assault,” Steve managed, his voice slightly strangled.
“Oh, please,” you said, rolling your eyes. “We’ve all done worse.”
Across the bar, Bucky finally spoke, his voice gravel-edged and unimpressed. “And now you’re here, drinking like a lunatic in front of half the team. Real graceful recovery.”
Your shoulders tensed, that familiar heat creeping up your spine.
“I’m not showing up for training tomorrow,” you said flatly. “Hell, I don’t plan on being conscious tomorrow.”
Bucky didn’t miss a beat. “It’s going on your report.”
Your mid-year report. Just another excuse for Bucky to publicly drag you, whining to the higher-ups about what a terrible mentee you were. How you needed to ‘apply yourself’, ‘show initiative’, or whatever corporate nonsense they lapped up. And of course, those same higher-ups were always looking for a reason to cut dead weight. One misstep, and you were done.
“Of course it is,” you snapped, spinning on your heel. “You miserable, ancient cunt.”
Steve choked on his beer again.
Without another word, you reached behind the overwhelmed bartender, who looked about five seconds from quitting, and grabbed the nearest bottle. You didn’t even look at the label. You stormed off with tequila already burning in your veins and spite lighting the way. 
You were leaning casually against the wall outside the gym’s changing rooms, dressed in workout gear that was probably a little more flattering than necessary. Tight enough to flatter your waist, breathable enough to pass as practical. Around you, the low hum of chatter buzzed from a small group of fellow agents. You were killing time before your dreaded one-on-one training session with Barnes.
Theo leaned a shoulder beside yours, towelling sweat from the back of his neck. He’d been an agent about as long as you had—charming, competent, and a little too easy to get along with. The two of you were part of that unofficial after-hours crew: drinks on Fridays, complaints about the job, stumbling home tipsy and hungover texts on Saturday mornings.
“You’re on sparring duty all week too?” Theo asked, glancing at you with mock pity. “I swear Rogers gets off on making me eat mat.”
“I know what you mean. Barnes definitely loves making me suffer,” you replied with a grimace. “That man has a personal vendetta against me.”
Theo grinned, tossing the towel over his shoulder, and he gave you a playful sidelong look. “When I get knocked on my ass, promise you’ll kiss it better?”
You arched a brow, but the smirk tugging at your lips betrayed your amusement. “Careful. I’m starting to think you’re flirting with me.”
“Starting to?” he shot back, unfazed. “Let me make it clearer. If I don’t get my ass handed to me by Rogers, I’ll buy you a drink Friday.”
You leaned back against the wall, arms folding over your chest. “And if Rogers wins?”
Theo leaned in, voice low and smooth as his fingers brushed a stray strand of hair behind your ear, lingering just a moment too long. “Then I’ll buy you two,” he murmured.
You opened your mouth to respond. Flattered, a little surprised, already mentally debating whether it was worth shaving your legs, when a voice cut through the hallway like a blade.
“Agent. You’re late.”
You didn’t have to look to know who it was. That gravel-edged tone, sharpened with disapproval, could only belong to one man.
Bucky stood at the end of the corridor, arms crossed, jaw set like granite. His black compression shirt clung to every sculpted line of his chest, joggers slung low on his hips in a way that really shouldn't have been legal. He looked like he’d just stepped out of a combat simulation and into a fitness magazine.
But the expression on his face? Full-on battlefield.
That signature scowl was locked in place, thunderclouds brewing behind his eyes as he stared straight past you, straight at Theo. Typical. You hadn’t even done anything, yet somehow, he already looked pissed.
“Training doesn’t start for another twenty minutes.” You reminded him.
He didn’t seem interested in whatever argument you were about to make, and he turned on his heel without another word.
You sighed, uncrossing your arms as you pushed off the wall and flashed Theo an apologetic smile. 
Jogging to catch up, your boots thudding against the hallway floor, you called after Bucky. “You know, there’s this really neat thing called a schedule. Maybe try sticking to it?”
He didn’t even glance over his shoulder. “You could use the extra time.”
You scoffed in disbelief at his audacity. Classic Barnes, gruelling, joyless, always ready with a critique and never a compliment. He’d made it his mission to grind you down, one scathing remark at a time. And yet, you knew you were one of the top agents. The higher-ups had told you as much in your mid-year review, even going so far as to say that your mentorship with Barnes was working brilliantly. You hadn’t bothered correcting them, though it irritated more than you liked to admit. All your hard work, and somehow, he got the credit.
Bucky didn’t stop until you were both inside one of the gym’s private sparring rooms. The door clicked shut behind you. No audience. No distractions. Just him and you and the electric tension that always seemed to spark the moment you were alone together.
“Seriously, Barnes, what’s your problem today?”
Bucky stepped onto the mat, gesturing for you to follow.
“You’re here to train, not flirt in the hallway.”
You barely resisted the urge to roll your eyes. Bucky always had a problem whenever your love life even breathed into the conversation. Said it was irrelevant. Unprofessional. A distraction.
Back when Yelena was your partner, the two of you used to spar and gossip at the same time, her dodging your punches while you gave dramatic play-by-plays of whatever your latest fling had done to you in bed the night before. She lived for it. Bucky? Not so much.
He’d cut the conversation short every time. Couldn’t even stand the sight of you laughing a little too long with someone else. He’d yank you away with some bullshit excuse like, ‘distractions on the field will get you killed’, or ‘do I need to report you for slacking off?’ Like you were breaking protocol instead of just being a human being.
You stepped into position across from him, tightening your stance, heat already prickling beneath your skin. From the glare he was giving you, he looked ready to fight. Good. So were you.
“Are you always such an asshole,” you said, voice flat, “or is that just a special little treat you save for me?”
He gave you a look, deadpan and infuriating. “Only when I’m working with someone who’s constantly late, distracted, or hungover.”
You let out a sharp breath through your nose and threw a lazy jab, just to shut him up. He deflected it with a flick of his wrist like he could’ve done it in his sleep.
“And yet,” you muttered, circling to your right, “you wrote me a glowing mid-year report.”
His hand faltered for a split second. It was brief, but you caught it, a crack in the armour he hid behind.
“So you read it,” he replied, already shifting back into motion.
“Hard not to. Maria practically quoted it word for word at me in the hallway.”
His mouth flattened. “It was accurate.”
You scoffed and came at him again, this time with more force, a blow aimed at his jaw. He blocked with ease, catching your wrist mid-air and twisting just enough to tip your balance. You staggered, caught yourself, then stepped back with a glare.
“‘Most adaptive mentee in the current program,’” you quoted, circling him again.
A jab. He blocked it.
“‘Performs under pressure.’”
You followed up with a low kick aimed at his calf. He side-stepped like you were moving in slow motion.
“‘Good instincts in the field.’”
Another punch, this one he met palm to palm, stopping your momentum cold. You grit your teeth and shoved him off.
“‘Promising.’” You swept your foot in a feint and then struck at his ribs. He pivoted out of reach, breath barely changed. “‘Capable.’”
He lunged this time, arm out, trying to lock your elbow, but you twisted under it, ducking away, the mat skimming under your feet.
“‘Excellent recall.’” 
You squared off again, eyes locked on his.
“Why the hell,” you asked, low and angry, “are you always such an asshole to my face when you’re singing my praises behind my back?”
He didn’t answer right away, moving like a shadow around you, eyes locked on yours. 
“As much as it pains me,” he finally spoke, tone flat, “you are my best mentee. Even if I dislike you personally, I felt your report should reflect that.”
You blinked, momentarily thrown. That was… probably the most praise you’d ever got from him—buried beneath the usual bullshit, sure, but praise nonetheless. On a good day, you might get a grunted ‘good’ if you were lucky. Most of the time, training with Bucky was just an endless list of everything you were doing wrong, punctuated by a jab to the ribs for emphasis.
“Do you always make your compliments sound like insults?”
“It wasn’t a compliment. Just the truth.”
You threw a kick toward his side, fast and impulsive. He caught your ankle and held it, grip firm around your calf for a second too long. His vibranium fingers were cold, even through the fabric of your leggings. You could’ve sworn they tightened around the muscle just a fraction as your eyes swept up to give him a look of disbelief. But instead of pulling away, you leaned into the moment and used the hold for balance. You pivoted hard on your grounded foot, letting the captured leg swing inward. Then you launched yourself forward, hooking your other leg around his waist, aiming to bring him down with you.
For a half-second, it worked. His balance shifted. Your hips were flush against him, legs locked tight around his torso as you twisted your weight, trying to drag him off his feet.
With a grunt, he straightened, twisted, and you suddenly found yourself airborne.
You hit the mat hard, slamming against it with a thud that knocked the breath out of you. The ceiling lights above blurred for a second as the impact rattled through your spine. His shadow hovered for a beat, chest rising with exertion, jaw clenched.
He didn’t smirk. Didn’t gloat. Just stared down at you, maybe it was the oncoming concussion you probably just suffered, but you could’ve sworn there was a flash of concern in his eyes.
“Next time, I won’t let it slide if you don’t turn up because you’re hungover.” He wiped a forearm across his brow.
“How do you know my heart wasn’t broken?” You asked, shaking off the blow as you rose to your feet once more, feet finding their usual stance.
He arched a brow, unimpressed.
“Don’t you have sympathy for me?” you asked, somewhere between a joke and a challenge.
“I wouldn’t call it sympathy,” he said coolly. “More like pity.”
That stung more than you cared to admit. You rolled your shoulders, stepping in again. Your guard was up, but there was a crack in it now, frustration flaring under your skin.
“I can’t imagine you were actually that sad about it.” Bucky bit out, not even bothering to hide his annoyance now. “Don’t you have a new fling every other week? Sure sounded like you were lining up another one in the hallway.”
“Oh wow,” you drawled, voice harsh. “Slut shaming? This isn’t the 1940s, Barnes.”
“It’s not my fault who you choose to date.”
You exhaled, long and low. The tension between you had teeth now, gnawing at the air. “Y’know, for someone who hates me, you sure pay a lot of attention.”
He didn’t respond. Just stood there, fists flexing at his sides, poker-faced.
You waited, ready to shoulder any insult he laid on you. You could see irritation simmering under his skin, jaw ticking, knuckles white.
“I think you should take a lap or two around the room.” He huffed finally. “Your blocks are late, your punches are soft, and your stance is a joke. Try warming up before you embarrass both of us.”
You grinned back at him, though it was closer to baring your teeth than a show of amusement. “But I’m still your best mentee, huh?”
“Let’s make it five laps then.”
You gave him a lazy salute and turned for the edge of the mat.
“Whatever you say, Sergeant.”
As you jogged the first lap, footsteps echoing lightly in the private room, you could feel his eyes on you, tracking every movement and watching you like a hawk, like a fuse lit, waiting.
And damn it, you ran a little faster because of it.
If you’d known how this mission was going to turn out, you would’ve called in sick. Faked a family emergency. Broken your own damn leg. Anything to avoid being stuck alone with Bucky Barnes in a freezing H.Y.D.R.A. bunker from hell. You’d even considered whispering a desperate prayer to whatever all-seeing god might be listening—or hell, maybe begging Stephen Strange to yank you into an alternate universe where this wasn’t your reality.
Gunfire rattled somewhere outside the cement walls, and you imagined your fellow agents in the middle of all the fun, chucking grenades, dodging bullets, living the dream. Meanwhile, you were practically glued at the hip with Sergeant Sunshine, babysitting an ancient Soviet-era computer that looked like it still ran on dial-up.
You were perched on the edge of a desk, legs swinging, having shoved aside a mountain of dusty files scribbled in Russian. All completely useless to you.
“What is it with H.Y.D.R.A. and brutalist architecture?” you muttered, eyeing the thick ceiling. “Why does concrete get them so hard?”
“I can’t concentrate with all your whining.”
You raised an eyebrow. “That’s literally the first thing I’ve said in ten minutes, Barnes.”
He didn’t respond. Didn’t even throw you one of his signature grunts. Just kept clicking away like the keyboard had wronged him personally, eyes narrowed at the screen as if trying to decode the goddamn Rosetta Stone.
You groaned and rolled your head back, staring up at the ceiling.
More concrete.
You weren’t usually this unbearable on missions, but this? This whole situation felt like a personal attack. You’d been mid-flirt with Theo on the quinjet (who had been very committed to making bedroom eyes at you) when they’d called out team assignments. The second you heard your name paired with Barnes, tasked with data extraction while everyone else got to blow things up, you’d spun around to glare at him.
He’d been sitting there in his usual cold, statue-like stillness beside Steve, as if this wasn’t a death sentence. You’d stormed over, demanded if he knew anything. He just shrugged and muttered something about ‘higher-ups’.
The walls shook suddenly—another explosion—and dust drifted from the ceiling. You blinked it out of your lashes and slid lazily off the desk, sauntering over to where Bucky hunched at the terminal.
“Can you hurry it up? At this rate, they’re going to bury us alive in here.”
“Give me a second,” he muttered through gritted teeth.
You leaned in slightly, eyeing the screen. A wall of Cyrillic met you, completely unreadable. You couldn’t help the exasperated sigh that left your lips.
“Remind me again why we’re the ones doing this? Wouldn’t it have made more sense to send someone who actually speaks Russian to help you? Or, I don’t know, someone who has the patience to teach you how to use a flash drive?”
He didn’t answer, just kept typing and clicking, as if the keys owed him money.
You crossed your arms, scowling. The only thing more miserable than being stuck in a concrete crypt was being stuck in one with him. When he was distracted, like now, he forgot to wear that usual look of thinly veiled disappointment. His brow furrowed in focus, lips twitching as he muttered to himself in low, clipped Russian. He looked—God help you—human. Not like the cold-hearted pain-in-your-ass who’d spent the last six months tearing you down. But like someone thoughtful. Careful. Quietly brilliant.
And stupidly, stupidly attractive.
You hated how your eyes lingered on the way his rolled-up sleeves hugged his forearms. The way the shadows danced over his cheekbones and the little groove between his brows. The way that little furrow deepened when something didn’t go his way, like he was trying to wrestle the entire world into submission with sheer concentration alone.
It would’ve been easier if he were just awful. Easier if you didn’t catch glimpses of something else beneath the gruffness. Something that made your chest tighten a little when you weren’t focusing. 
You swallowed hard, forcing your eyes to the screen. What was wrong with you?
The download bar finally appeared on the screen, crawling forward at a snail’s pace. You exhaled loudly, half in relief, half in impatience. 
“About time,” you muttered.
He shot you a look, cold and flat. “You wanna do it?”
You turned your back on him, pacing the room. Your nerves were coiled tight, the distant sounds of gunfire and explosions growing louder. The base was a pressure cooker and the damn download bar still hovered at 34%.
While you were busy taking your own turn brooding, the heavy metal door at the far end of the room slammed open with a deafening clang, nearly launching you out of your skin. Three armed H.Y.D.R.A. agents stormed in, rifles raised, eyes locked on target.
So much for the diversion. Clearly, it hadn’t been enough—or worse, H.Y.D.R.A. had seen through it. They must’ve realised it wasn’t a full-blown William-the-Conqueror-style invasion, just a cleverly dressed-up distraction.
“Company,” Bucky muttered, pulling his sidearm in one smooth motion.
You were already moving, instincts kicking in before your brain could catch up. You dove low, sliding across the slick concrete floor as a hail of bullets tore through the room. You grabbed the nearest overturned chair, dragging it into place just in time as metal pinged and sparked against it.
Bucky didn’t hesitate. A single, precise shot rang out, dropping the first H.Y.D.R.A. agent without a flinch. You didn’t stop to think. You surged forward, catching the second agent by surprise, your knee slamming into his gut with enough force to knock the air from his lungs. He doubled over, right into the crack of your gun butt across his temple. He crumpled, unconscious, before he hit the floor.
Then you saw the third.
Rifle up.
Aimed right at you.
“Get down!”
The shout was raw, sharp enough to slice through the chaos. You barely had time to turn your head before a body crashed into yours. His arm slammed into your torso, hurling you sideways just as the trigger was pulled.
The shot cracked like thunder.
Your back hit the ground hard, skidding across the floor. Pain flared along your shoulder, but it was nothing compared to the sound that followed, the harsh, guttural grunt that tore out of Bucky’s throat.
You twisted around.
He was down, gasping, clutching at his side and blood already soaking through the black fabric of his suit.
You scrambled back to him just as the final agent aimed again. Snarling, you fired three quick shots into the bastard’s chest before he collapsed in a heap.
The air went still for only a moment, then the ground trembled violently before you had a chance to assess the damage done to Bucky. Chunks of the ceiling cracked and began to rain down. Concrete groaned like a beast waking from a long sleep.
You turned to the computer, some unreadable symbols flashing across the screen, but you were quick enough to decipher that it meant the download was complete. Snatching the flash drive, you spun back to Bucky, who was trying to sit up, blood spilling between his fingers as he pressed them hard against the wound in his side.
“Get up,” you barked, crouching beside him. “We need to move, Barnes!”
The two of you had spent nearly two damn hours stumbling through the snow-blanketed mountainside, following the rough coordinates burned into your mind from the mission briefing. By the time the cabin finally came into view—half-buried in the snow, smoke long gone from the chimney—you were soaked to the bone and one more smart comment away from throttling him.
The escape had been messy, the H.Y.D.R.A base nearly becoming your tomb. You’d been forced to bolt through a collapsing back corridor, dragging the injured super soldier along with the last of your adrenaline. Between the debris, the gunfire, and the growing dark stain across his side, you weren’t sure how either of you had made it out. Worse still, you’d missed the quinjet extraction window by twenty minutes. The skies had turned black with storm clouds, wind howling across the range as ice and snow stung your cheeks. The base had finally picked up your call for aid on the mission-assigned satellite phone, but due to zero visibility and increased H.Y.D.R.A activity in the area, the replacement quinjet wouldn’t arrive until first light.
Which meant you were stuck together. In the cold. For the whole night.
The safehouse, at least, was still intact. A small timber cabin tucked between trees, barely standing but just enough. It had a lounge no bigger than a broom closet, a wood-burning stove long dead and cold, a bathroom you prayed had running water, and a single bedroom with a mattress that looked like it had seen better decades.
Your breath misted in the air as you slammed the door behind you, the wind nearly ripping the handle from your grip. Bucky collapsed onto the torn couch by the stove without a word, letting out a low groan that he probably thought you didn’t hear.
You should’ve made starting the fire your first priority. But one look at the blood soaking through Bucky’s side made that choice for you.
Now, kneeling between his legs with the remnants of the first-aid kit splayed out on the coffee table, whoever had been here last hadn’t restocked it properly. You glared up at Bucky as he shifted under your touch again. “Stop squirming.”
“I’m not.”
“You are,” you hissed, dabbing antiseptic across the wound with a gauze pad. “You keep flinching.”
“Because you’re digging in like you’re trying to punish me.”
“Oh, I haven’t even started,” you muttered.
He scoffed, muscles twitching beneath your hands as you pressed down. “Are you always this demanding?”
“Are you always this whiny?”
His glare was instant, eyes narrowed. “Is it your goal to piss everyone off?”
“I’m a fucking delight, and you know that.”
He gave you a deadpan look. “I think you’re mistaken. I definitely don’t like you.”
You lifted your brows, trying to keep your voice light despite the roiling mix of emotions spilling out. “You say that like you didn’t just take a bullet for me.”
You hadn’t even had the time to process it when it happened. The crash of his body slamming into yours, the sound of the gunshot, and the sickening thud of him hitting the ground. But now, with him sitting across from you, shirt dark with blood and a fresh gash still weeping crimson, the weight of it began to settle in.
He took a bullet for you.
You didn’t know what to do with that.
Part of you expected him to twist it somehow, to throw it back in your face as some kind of lesson that you were careless. That you’d left an opening. That he had to clean up your mess. You were already bracing for it, the sting of snide remarks spread over weeks like salt in a wound, little digs during training about how you ‘owe him one’ or how ‘distractions get people killed’.
And yet... he hadn’t said any of that.
Instead, he just shrugged, wincing slightly. “I heal faster because of the serum,” he muttered, voice gruff but quieter than usual. “I’ll be back on the field faster than you ever could.”
You stared at him.
At the stubborn line of his jaw, the tight press of his lips as he tried not to show how much pain he was in. The way his hand gripped his side was too tight. The blood beneath his fingernails.
Why had he done that?
You weren’t always the easiest to get along with. You’d spent months pushing each other’s buttons, arguing, fighting, constantly locked in a cold war of insults and bruises. So why? Why would he throw himself into a bullet’s path for you?
It was hard not to feel... something. Flattered, maybe. A little shocked. And, against your better judgment, grateful. You didn’t want to be grateful—not to him, of all people—but your stomach wrenched every time you replayed the moment in your head.
You didn’t ask him to do it. And yet, he did.
And now he was pretending it didn’t matter. Like he hadn’t made a split-second decision to put your life before his own. What if that bullet had hit a little higher? His heart? His throat? His skull?
“Sure,” you drawled, trying to cover for your sudden silence. “Great excuse.”
“It’s the truth.” He muttered. 
He didn’t look at you. Just kept his eyes on the floor and said nothing.
Which, somehow, said everything.
You stared at him for a moment longer, shaking your head as you tossed the bloodied gauze into the small bin beside the couch. The cold was starting to settle into your bones, your fingers stiff with it.
“Whatever. I’m going to try to find some firewood before we freeze to death.”
He glanced toward the boarded-up window, ice clinging to the edges. “You sure there’s any left out there?”
“Nope.” You pulled on your jacket. “But I’d rather get eaten by a bear than stay in here with you.”
You were halfway to the door before you paused, glancing over your shoulder.
“Can you get to that bed yourself, or do you need me to do that for you, too, super soldier?”
His answer came quickly, teeth clenched. “I’m fine.”
“Sure you are.”
You couldn’t deny the nausea in your stomach. Not from worry. Definitely not that. Just frustration. That’s all it was.
The wind nearly ripped the door from your hands as you stepped outside. Snow came in sideways, biting at your skin the second you crossed the threshold. You tugged your jacket tighter and trudged into the blizzard, squinting against the blur of white.
The woodshed was exactly where the briefing had said it’d be, about ten feet from the side of the cabin, half-hidden by trees. Or at least, had been. What you found instead was a crooked mess of collapsed timber and broken beams. Snow had settled deep into the heap, and every piece of wood you managed to drag free was soaked, the logs heavy with ice and rot.
You swore, breath clouding in the air.
You searched anyway, fingers numb, arms shaking. You tried the back of the cabin. Nothing. Even the branches scattered beneath the trees were too damp. No kindling, no dry bark, not even a damn pinecone. The cold was sinking deeper now, crawling down your spine and settling like an anchor in your chest. You didn’t want to push further into the wilderness, not in this weather and not with H.Y.D.R.A. agents crawling all over the mountainside. 
By the time you stumbled back inside and forced the door closed again, you could hardly feel your fingers or toes. Every limb ached like they were five seconds away from turning purple and black from frostbite. The cabin felt just as cold as the outside, but it was a momentary relief to be out of the wind that cut through your thick layers.
Bucky was on the bed, half-sitting up against the wall, the blanket pulled low across his hips. His eyes flicked up as you entered, taking in your dripping hair and shaking hands.
"Let me guess," he muttered. "No luck?"
You didn’t answer right away, just peeled your jacket off and dropped it near the door with a wet splat. “Everything’s soaked. The shed’s collapsed.”
He exhaled through his nose, chest deflating with the effort. “You’re freezing.”
You ignored him, stomping the snow off your boots. “I’ll live.”
“Not if you keep acting like a damn idiot.”
You turned to glare at him. “I’m sorry, which one of us got shot again?”
You crouched down, your knees protesting as you bent to untie your boots, but your fingers were too stiff, trembling from the cold. The laces had frozen slightly, the knots tight and uncooperative. You hissed through your teeth, fumbling and cursing under your breath as you tugged uselessly at them.
Bucky watched from the bed, arms crossed over his broad chest. He didn’t move to help, but you could feel his eyes on you. He tilted his head slightly and gave you a look that was half-concerned, half-exasperated, like you did this to yourself.
With a final frustrated yank, you freed your boot and kicked it off, followed quickly by the other. A damp string of muttered profanities trailed from your lips as you scrambled back to your feet, wet clothes clinging uncomfortably to your skin. 
“Which one of us,” Bucky spoke pointedly, breath fogging in the air between you, “went outside to play in a blizzard and came back looking like a drowned rat?”
You were shivering now, teeth on the verge of chattering, but you still squared your shoulders and stared him down, as defiant as ever. A bead of melted snow trailed down your temple. He stared right back.
“Get over here,” he said finally.
“Excuse me?”
“You need to warm up.” His tone was flat, too practical. “And the bed’s the only warm place in this shithole.”
“Oh, now you care about my well-being?”
He didn’t dignify that with a response. Just lifted the edge of the blanket.
You hesitated, eyeing the small mattress like it might bite you. "You’re the worst."
"And you’re still standing in wet clothes. Take them off and get in."
Your mouth dropped open. “Excuse me?”
“Not all of them,” he said, eyes rolling. “Just the top layer before you die of hypothermia. Stop being dramatic.”
With a theatrical sigh for good measure, you peeled off your wet sweater, leaving the thermal shirt beneath and then your pants. You did not check to see if he was watching you shivering in your underwear, cheeks flushed. You padded toward the bed like it was a walk to your own execution, hesitating again at the edge.
You tried—really tried—not to let your eyes linger on the broad plane of his chest, but it was impossible not to. His shirt was rumpled and half-untucked, the hem tugged up where he’d peeled it back to expose the bandage on his side. The white gauze was already marred with deep red, blooming in uneven patches that made you pause with something halfway between guilt and concern. Your gaze drifted to the sharp curve of his waist, the ridge of muscle visible beneath the bloodied wrappings. 
It was distracting. 
He was distracting.
But what you tried hardest not to think about was the bed. Specifically, how absurdly small the mattress looked with him sitting on it, shoulders nearly brushing both edges. There was no way you’d both fit. You’d be pressed against him. Shoulder to shoulder, chest to back, knee to thigh. 
You swallowed hard and told yourself not to think about it.
But you were already thinking about it.
“Don’t make it weird,” Bucky muttered.
“I’m not making it weird.”
He let out a low, tired huff, the kind that told you he was in pain but too stubborn to say it. You rolled your eyes in reply, more at yourself than him, and climbed in carefully, slipping beneath the blanket with a reluctant shiver. The bed was warmer than expected. Or rather, he was. Bucky radiated heat like a furnace, the kind that seeped into your skin and made your limbs relax before your mind could catch up. You hovered near the edge of the mattress, body stiff, spine straight like it might help you keep your distance. But it was a hopeless attempt. The bed was tiny—criminally small, really—and with him taking up so much space, there was nowhere to go but closer. One wrong move and you’d be on the floor.
“God, you’re warm,” you muttered into the pillow, trying not to sound too affected.
“Serum,” he replied shortly, his voice rough with exhaustion.
Slowly, inch by inch, you gave in. The chill in the air made it too easy to justify. You shifted toward him, the blanket tugging between you as your arm brushed against his. Then your hip. Then your thigh. Until, somehow, your bodies were nearly flush. 
He didn’t move. Didn’t pull away. Didn’t say a word.
And that somehow made it worse.
The silence settled between you, heavy and warm and intimate, like the air itself had thickened. You could hear his breathing, steady, but a little too deliberate. You could see his chest rise and fall from the corner of your eye. And worse, you could feel him. Every inch of him. The solid line of muscle at your side. The way your knees had somehow locked together under the blanket. How your forearm grazed his with every breath you took.
You needed a distraction. Desperately.
Reaching over to the nightstand, you snatched up the battered satellite phone, almost too quickly. The cold metal was jarring against your palm. For a moment, you considered activating the self-destruct protocol and blowing both of you up to end your shared misery. You flicked it on, the screen’s pale light casting long shadows across the room and across him.
Your eyes flicked over before you could stop them.
He was already staring at the ceiling, the faint furrow between his brows still present even in rest. His profile was defined in the low light, long lashes, strong nose, and the stubble on his jaw catching just a hint of light.
You forced yourself to look back at the tiny screen to check for any new updates.
Nothing. You were well and truly in for the night.
You scrolled to the mission briefing instead, flicking through the files to pass time, anything to distract you.
And then you saw it.
There, buried under the pre-mission notes, weather expectations, and extraction protocol, was a small addendum in the personnel request section.
Operation HARVEST: Agent Barnes, James B.Requested field partner: Agent 00149. Request approved.
You stared at it, the room suddenly quieter than it had been all night. 
That was your agent number.
He asked for you.
The same man who had spent the last six months grunting his way through every interaction, who seemed perpetually annoyed by your existence, who had made a point never to give you more than an ounce of credit, had explicitly asked to be paired with you.
You felt your throat tighten.
“You okay?” Bucky asked, as if he could sense your world shattering around you. His voice was low, eyes half-lidded with exhaustion 
You didn’t answer right away. You sat there, still curled under the heavy covers. The warmth of his body was helping, yes—but your blood was starting to simmer for a very different reason.
You turned slowly, holding the satellite phone up between your fingers.
“You want to tell me why it says on the briefing notes that you requested me as your partner for this mission?”
Bucky blinked once. His mouth parted slightly, but no sound came out.
“I asked you on the quinjet if you knew anything,” you went on, voice harsh now. “You told me it was a higher-up’s decision. You lied to my face.”
Bucky sighed through his nose, already bracing himself as he sat up straighter against the headboard. “I didn’t think it mattered.”
“Didn’t matter?” you scoffed, pushing yourself to your knees to face him, ignoring the goosebumps that rose as the blankets fell from your shoulders. “You picked me. You had me assigned to a mission with you, just the two of us, didn’t tell me, and then lied about it.”
“I didn’t lie—”
“You did lie.”
He dragged a hand down his face, slow and weary, but there was tension in the movement, an edge of frustration barely restrained. “I didn’t want you partnered with the other guys, alright?”
You faltered, unsure if you heard him right. “Excuse me?”
“It doesn’t matter—”
“No, you can’t just say that and not explain—”
“Fine!” He groaned, exasperated. His eyes dropped away from yours, fixing instead on a knot in the cabin’s dark wood wall. “I heard them talking. Theo and a few of the other agents.”
“What?” you asked, voice tight. “What were they saying about me?”
He didn’t answer. The silence stretched, heavy and awful.
“Just say it,” you bit out.
He looked at you then. Really looked at you. And it hit you square in the chest, something dark and protective burning behind his eyes. But it was reluctant, too, as if he hated that he was about to say it out loud.
His voice was low and rough when it came. “That you’re easy. That it’d be simple to get you into bed because you’re always asking for it. That you’re a slut. I gave them a piece of my mind and reported them, but I still don’t want you around them.”
You felt it like a punch to the gut.
Your breath caught, the sting behind your eyes immediate and hot. You blinked once. Twice. The words echoed, raw and ugly, and for a second, all you could do was try not to let them settle too deep. Not to let them stick.
You weren’t naïve. You knew you didn’t sleep around any more than anyone else your age. You knew that if the situation were flipped, if you were a man, no one would bat an eye. And still, the weight of it settled heavy in your gut, all twisted up with something darker. Dread. Shame. Fury. And under it all… that sick, crawling feeling that maybe Bucky had said something. Given them reason to think they could say it. That maybe he thought the same thing deep down.
That, maybe, to him, you were just some mess he had to clean up.
The words came fast, your voice shaking. “And what, you thought you’d ride in and defend me like some white knight? You know I could easily drop Theo, I could easily drop any of those assholes!” Bucky blinked, caught off guard, but you were already going, bitter heat rising in your throat like bile.
“You thought that would make it better?” you snapped. “You think that helps? They’re probably all laughing behind my back about how I can’t defend myself—”
“I wasn’t going to stand there and let them talk about you like that!”
“Why?” you demanded. “Because you didn’t want to hear it? Or because you’ve thought the same fucking thing?”
His eyes flared with disbelief, maybe even insult.
“I would never think of you that way,” he barked, and his voice cracked like thunder. “Let alone say it out loud. Because I’m not an asshole. Not like those guys you date.”
You laughed, blunt and hollow. “Why do you care who I date?”
He opened his mouth. Closed it. For a moment, you thought he wouldn’t come up with any words, but to your surprise, he exploded before you. “Maybe because you deserve better!” he shouted, the words ripping out of him before he could take them back.
The silence after that was suffocating.
You stared at him, heart hammering in your chest, a strange cocktail of feelings in your stomach that you didn’t care to identify. He sat there, breathing hard, his hands clenched at his sides like he didn’t trust himself to speak again.
“Jesus,” you muttered. You weren’t foolish enough to believe him, to fall victim to whatever joke he was trying to play. “Give me a break.”
“I’m serious,” he mumbled this time. 
You turned your face away. “Oh yeah? Like you could do any better? Don’t be ridiculous.”
His breath hitched, like you’d slapped him. You could feel him shift beside you under the covers.
“You really think that?” Bucky asked in disbelief.
You didn’t answer. Couldn’t. But Bucky didn’t let it stay quiet.
“You want to know the truth?” he asked, voice low and rough, as if the words had been caged for too long in his throat. “Fine.”
You turned back toward him, uncertain what expression you were even wearing anymore.
“I’ve liked you since the first damn time I saw you,” he said. “Group training. You were paired with some agent twice your size, and you still knocked him on his ass.”
Your heart slammed against your ribs.
“I thought you were… brilliant. And sharp. And confident. And yeah, beautiful too. You had this way of looking right through people—through me—and it scared the shit out of me. When they assigned me to mentor you, I panicked,” he said, with a dry, bitter laugh. “I thought if I pretended, if I was distant, if I acted cold, I could make it go away. Trick myself out of it.”
“But it just got worse,” he went on. “Every time I saw you smiling at some sleaze who didn’t deserve to breathe the same air as you, every time I had to watch you flirt with some smug asshole agents, I wanted to break something. Because it should’ve been me.”
You shook your head slowly, stunned. “Bucky…”
“I hated watching you get your heart broken over and over again,” he said. “Hated seeing you walk into training after pretending like nothing happened. You didn’t deserve that. Not when I knew I could treat you better if I just had the fucking guts to say something.”
Your ribs felt suddenly too small for your body, bones pressing into your lungs.
“And now we’re stuck on a mountainside,” he said, his voice softer, hoarser, “and I’m here bleeding in a bed with you, still lying to you, still trying to act like it doesn’t kill me every time you look at me like I’m just your mentor who you hate.”
You gaped in stunned silence, heartbeat pounding in your ears. Bucky watched you expectantly.
No. No, that couldn’t be what he meant. Not really.
“I don’t know what kind of cruel joke you’re playing on me,” you finally said, voice shaking, fingers knotted in the sheets. “I don’t get it. You’ve spent this whole time being…”
“I’m being serious,” he said, eyes locked on you. “I don’t expect you to believe me. I’ve fucked this up too many times. But I swear on my life, I’m not playing a game.”
You stared at him, blinking hard. “So what, this entire time you’ve been an asshole because you were what, pretending? Pretending that you didn’t like me, pretending that you weren’t jealous, when you could’ve just talked to me?”
His silence was immediate. Heavy. It told you everything you needed to know.
Your chest rose and fell too fast. Your mind was spinning, flipping through every memory like a film reel: his cold shoulder, his clipped instructions, the scowls when you joked with someone else, the way he always hovered a few steps too close in combat zones. The way he always caught you when you fell. There had been moments. Tiny fractures in his mask. The way his gaze lingered when he thought you weren’t paying attention. The time he bandaged your hand without a word, but so gently it had made your throat tighten. The night you caught him staring at you across the gym like he was in pain.
How had you missed it?
“I need to…” You whispered, slumping back under the sheets, pulling the blanket higher around yourself as if it might guard you from the ache in your ribs. “We should sleep. It’s late. Evac’s coming once the sun is up.”
He didn’t protest. He just nodded once, jaw tight.
Neither of you said another word.
Sleep didn’t come easily.
You hadn’t seen much of Bucky since you were both airlifted off the mountain.
He’d been recovering from his wound, officially. But it didn’t take a genius to figure out he was avoiding you. No texts. No nods in the hallway. No eye contact across the cafeteria. Just cold silence.
Coward.
You’d spent the past week half-waiting for him to come to his senses. The other half had been consumed wondering what the hell you’d do if he did. Because yes, you found him infuriating. Yes, he was emotionally constipated and moody and had the charm of a brick wall. But he was also gorgeous in that tortured-soul, sharp-jawed, arms-too-big-for-his-shirts kind of way. He cared about you, in his own twisted Bucky way. He’d taken a bullet for you. Defended you. Chose you.
And now he was just… gone.
You were leaning against the wall at the edge of the main gym, arms crossed, purposefully not looking at Theo and the other assholes you had suspected Bucky had been right about, when you heard footsteps and someone cleared their throat beside you.
Yelena stood beside you, her smirk suspiciously wider than usual.
You turned, brows knitting in apprehension. “Hey.”
“Congratulations,” 
“For what?” You replied hesitantly, watching as her brows lifted in delighted surprise. 
“You haven’t heard?” Her voice was alarmingly gleeful, like she was especially thrilled to be the bearer of whatever news she was about to lay upon you. “Barnes finally accepted your mentor transfer request.”
Your heart flatlined for a second. 
“What?”
Yelena, oblivious to your distress, continued to dig further. “I don’t know what you did to him up on that mountain, but… damn. I didn’t think he’d actually do it.”
“I didn’t ask for a mentor transfer,” you muttered, dread settling in your chest.
Yelena’s expression faltered. “Oh. Well, you have one now. You’re with Thor. They tried to pawn you off onto me, but you know, got my hands busy with the new group coming in—”
“Thor?!” You snapped, interrupting her spiel, “He’s a drunk! And he’s not even here half the time, too busy in Asgard—”
Yelena gave you a helpless shrug, and that’s when the doors to the gym opened and in walked the ghost of your week-long frustration.
Bucky was in full training gear, black sweatpants slung low on his hips, compression shirt clinging to him like a second skin. His hair was ruffled, pushed back half-heartedly like he couldn’t be bothered to fix it, a few strands falling into his eyes. The corded muscles of his arms were on full display, the glint of his vibranium arm catching the light with every step. He looked unfairly good, carved from grief and sleepless nights. But it was the way he wouldn’t look at you that struck harder than anything else. His jaw was tight, lips set in a permanent pout, that brooding scowl etched so deep it felt deliberate. He looked everywhere but at you, like you weren’t even there. 
Your blood boiled.
Without a word, you peeled yourself from the wall and marched toward him. He spotted you mid-stride, his posture tensing like he was preparing for impact.
“Hey—” he started.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” you snapped, voice low and venom-laced.
“Not here,” he muttered, eyes flicking toward the other agents filtering in behind you. A few of them had already glanced over curiously, settling in for whatever show was about to unfold.
“Too late,” you hissed. “You requested a mentor transfer for me without even telling me?”
“I thought it was what you wanted.” You both knew he was lying, and he refused to meet your eye. This wasn’t about what you wanted. It was about him feeling embarrassed after his outburst on the mountain. 
“Oh, really?” You stepped closer. “Because I don’t remember asking you to make my career decisions for me.”
“I was doing you a favour.”
“Yeah? Maybe try talking to me like a normal fucking person, and then I’ll tell you what I want.”
His eyes flickered up, stormy blues locking onto your face. “And what is it you want?”
You stared him down, tilting your head slightly, weighing the war going on inside you.
You.
I want you.
The thought was immediate, impulsive, and so painfully real it made your chest ache. But you shoved it down, crushed it before it could breathe. No. That was stupid. Why the hell would you want him—this man-child who’d ghosted you for a week, who’d spent the last six months acting like every word out of your mouth was a personal offence, who seemed to find joy in making you feel like nothing?
But then again… maybe you both had been trying so hard to deny the truth, burying something under six months of thinly veiled insults and sparring matches that got too rough. Maybe he was pushing you away because he didn’t trust himself to keep it professional. And maybe you were just as bad, biting back, rising to the bait, pretending you didn’t notice the way his eyes lingered or the way his voice softened when you were actually hurt.
You had to know if it was real.
The shuffle of movement and muffled chatter around you signalled the start of group training, slicing through your heated stand-off. Agents around you began to pair off, leaving you and Bucky still locked in place, face to face, breath mingling.
You lifted your chin. “Be my sparring partner?” you asked, voice loud enough for the others to hear, but eyes fixed solely on him.
He didn’t argue. Didn’t flinch. Just nodded once, tight-lipped, like he’d been waiting for the invitation all along.
You squared off on the mat, bouncing on your toes, adrenaline already coiling in your veins. Bucky moved like a soldier, controlled, fluid, annoyingly graceful.
“You don’t have to prove anything,” he muttered as you circled.
“I’m not,” you said, “Just testing a theory.”
He raised a brow. “What theory?”
You lunged, caught his arm, and twisted into a low grapple—just enough to draw him in.
His chest brushed yours. His breath hitched.
Then you kissed him.
Hard.
Your lips crashed against his mid-motion, stealing the next move right off his tongue. You felt him freeze, just for a heartbeat, before his hands twitched at your waist like he didn’t know whether to shove you away or pull you in. You felt the tension roll off him in waves. The way his body reacted was instinct. Shock. Hunger. 
His movements hesitated, and to your delight, despite the entire gym watching, he began to kiss you back. 
And that hesitation?
It was all you needed.
You shifted fast, breaking the kiss, then ducking low, hooking your leg behind his knee as you spun. In one fluid motion, you swept his legs out from under him and used the twist of your momentum to pull him down with you. He stumbled, off-balance, and you moved like lightning, hips snapping around his waist, thighs locking tight. You rotated with the drop, forcing him onto his back as you rolled with the momentum.
He hit the mat hard.
You were straddling him, thighs clamped around his ribs, palms flat on his chest. You smirked down at him, panting. 
Bucky stared up at you, winded, stunned, and very, very pinned. “That was dirty.”
You leaned down, your face just inches from his again. “So was your little mentor stunt. Call it even.”
Throughout the room, the entire gym was dead silent, staring. You gracefully dismounted him and marched off the mat, but Bucky scrambled up and followed you.
“Oh, now you want to talk?” you snapped as he caught up beside you.
“You can’t just kiss me and then walk away like that!”
“Why not?”
“You kissed me to mess with me.”
“I kissed you to see if you meant what you said on the mountain.”
The two of you burst through the gym doors and into the hallway. You didn’t look back. You didn’t have to. Bucky’s heavy footsteps were right behind you, his presence unmistakable, all coiled frustration and breathless anger.
A few agents stood frozen near the water station, others lingering by the mission board, all of them caught mid-conversation as they turned to witness the fallout. You were aware of the eyes on you, the awkward silence that followed, but you didn’t care. Let them stare. Let them gossip.
You stormed past them without pause as Bucky chased you like a dog on a leash that was just about to snap.
“You just kissed me in the middle of sparring,” he shouted after you, voice ragged and accusing. “In front of everyone. Is this a joke to you?” 
You didn’t stop. Didn’t slow. The elevator was too slow, too exposed. Instead, you veered to the stairwell and shoved the door open with enough force that it bounced off the wall. The clanging echo followed you as you started up, two steps at a time.
“Oh my god, would you just shut up already?” you snapped over your shoulder, breath catching as your hand slid along the metal railing, spiralling up the concrete stairwell. 
Behind you, Bucky cursed under his breath. “It was unfair.”
He reached for you and just missed your wrist. You yanked it away before he could try again, your skin buzzing with the ghost of contact.
“Isn’t that what you taught me to do? Use anything to my advantage?” you bit out, pushing through the next door as you reached your floor. The hall here was quieter and dimmer. You passed rows of familiar doors. Your apartment was at the end of the corridor, and every step toward it made your pulse throb louder in your ears. “What, you have a problem with me using my assets against you?
“Assets, huh? You know, you really are unbelievable—”
You let out an exasperated groan, cutting him back. “You kissed me back.”
That stopped him.
His boots scraped the floor as he slowed a few paces behind you, chest heaving, eyes wide with shock.
“What?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.
You turned your key in the door. The metal clicked, and you pushed it open with a little more care this time.
“You kissed me back,” you repeated softly, almost to yourself this time and stepped inside. 
Bucky barged in after you.
“You don’t understand—I’m… I’m trying to protect you!” His voice followed you into the room, desperate. 
You kicked off your shoes without looking at him. “I don’t need protecting.”
“Would you just listen for once—” he snapped, shutting the door behind him. 
You rolled your eyes and started pulling off your shirt, tossing it onto your bed and turned to face him, arms crossed. “I am listening, you’re the one not listening to me.”
Bucky stood just inside the door, like he hadn’t decided whether to walk out or burn the whole damn building down. 
“I shouldn’t have told you that on the mountain, it was unprofessional of me.” His voice cracked as his words poured out faster than it seemed he could stop them, emotion thick in every syllable. “I requested the mentor switch because I don’t trust myself to keep pretending. I can’t control myself around you!”
You padded barefoot across the room to the small bathroom.
“How am I supposed to go on training you?” He muttered, gesturing vaguely in your direction. He was repeating himself now, rambling like a crazed man completely oblivious to your actions. “You pull that stunt in the middle of training, humiliate both of us in front of the others, and then act like it meant nothing? Jesus, I can’t even think straight when you—”
You peeled your leggings off and let it fall to the floor behind you.
“—and don’t even get me started on that assets comment! What the hell does that even mean? You can’t just go around weaponising your—”
You unclasped your bra and bent to turn on the shower. The hiss of water filled the room, steam already curling up the mirror.
“—I mean, are you even hearing yourself? You just, what? Decided to tackle and kiss me like it was some kind of training tactic?! That’s not even…Are you using my confession against me? God, you’re impossible, I swear—”
He looked up.
And stopped.
Mid-sentence. Mid-breath.
There you were, back turned, steam catching on the bare curve of your spine and trailing over the lines of your thighs, standing in nothing but your underwear.
His words died in his throat like a car slamming into a wall.
Mouth slightly open. Eyes locked. 
You glanced at him over your shoulder, saw the exact moment it hit him and raised a brow, feigning casual curiosity as you stepped toward the open shower door, letting the foggy heat billow around your legs.
“You joining me?” you asked sweetly. “Sure sounds like you need to cool off.”
He said nothing.
Just stared.
Like you’d just knocked the wind out of him for the second time that day. Just that haunted, hungry look in his eyes like he was trying to figure out if he’d died and gone to hell. Or heaven.
His mouth opened, like he had something to say, some half-assed rebuttal, some snarky comeback.
But no words came out.
Only a low, helpless breath.
“I wasn’t using it against you.” You clarified as you dragged your underwear down your legs, tossing them somewhere across the room. “I was seeing if you meant what you said.”
You stepped nto the shower, leaving him stood stunned in the bathroom doorway. A soft sigh slipped from your lips as warm water poured down your shoulders and back, washing away the dull ache in your muscles. For a moment, you simply stood there, facing the stream, eyes closed, the patter of droplets against your scalp soothing like white noise in a storm.
Then came the soft rattle of the shower door behind you. You didn’t need to open your eyes to know it was him.
The subtle swish of movement was followed by the cool press of metal against your waist, his vibranium arm snaking around you, cool against the heat of the water and your flushed skin. Goosebumps prickled instantly across your stomach, nipples peaking at the contrast.
You turned slowly, steam swirling around you in thick waves as you met Bucky’s eyes. His wet hair was slicked against his neck, droplets clinging to the dark strands and sliding down his jawline. Beads of water traced the line of his throat and the rise of his Adam’s apple, disappearing over the muscle of his chest. His hands found your hips, warm and solid, the grip almost possessive.
You tried not to look down, tried not to let your eyes drift to the answer to a question you’d been too proud to ask. Instead, a smirk tugged at the corner of your lips as you stepped into him, letting your palms slide up the hard planes of his chest, past his dogtags and looped around the back of his neck.
“I think this is going to do the opposite of cooling me down,” he muttered, voice husky, half-lost beneath the steady rhythm of water hitting tile.
You let out a soft, breathless laugh, and then you kissed him.
It wasn’t gentle.
Your mouths crashed together like you’d both been holding back for too long. Hungry. Desperate. Sloppy. The water only made it messier, lips sliding, catching, breath hissing as teeth grazed. He kissed like he needed to claim this moment before the world snapped back into place. You returned the kiss with equal urgency, fingers threading into his wet hair, tugging, needing more.
His hands slid down your back, firm, sure, guiding you until your spine pressed against the slick wall of the shower. You wrapped a leg around his hip, instinctive, needy, and he growled softly into your mouth as his hand dropped to support your thigh, holding you steady. You ground your hips into him, once, twice. His grip tightened, and the next thing you knew, he was lifting you, hands firm on your ass as he carried you effortlessly from the shower. The bathroom was thick with steam, fog curling along the edges of the mirror and dripping from the ceiling. Water trailed down both of you, soaking the tiles as he strode across the room.
Your back met the edge of the counter with a soft thud, followed by the chill of the fogged-up mirror behind you. The coolness shocked your skin and made your spine arch sharply, drawing a low noise from your throat. Bucky didn’t miss a beat. He was still kissing you, still swallowing your gasp as his hands ran down your thighs and urged them further apart.
He stepped in, slotting himself between your legs, his body flush against yours. The sensation of him made your head spin. Water from the still-running shower continued to hiss in the background, steam billowing out and filling the room like a cocoon. You were both soaked, skin slick and glistening, lips swollen, breaths short. Your fingers found the back of his neck again, anchoring yourself as he kissed you deeper, slower now, like he was savouring every second.
His hands slid down your hips and tugged you forward until your thighs bracketed his waist. You felt his cock, solid and insistent, pulsing against the sensitive skin of your inner thigh, and your breath caught.
“I think I’ve dreamt of this moment.” He confessed between kisses, before consuming you again.
It took little resistance for him to push into you in one smooth motion. You weren’t just drenched from the shower. Your whole body sang from the shock of it, a strangled sound tearing from your throat as your fingers fisted in his wet hair. His mouth tore from yours with a ragged gasp, trailing down your jaw, your neck, leaving fire in his wake. Bucky braced a hand behind you on the counter, the other gripping your thigh, steadying you as his hips began to move precise and relentless.
“Do you know how long I’ve thought about this?” he muttered into the curve of your neck, voice wrecked. His lips brushed against your pulse, the edge of his teeth grazing the skin like he was half a second from losing control. “How many nights I told myself I couldn’t touch you... shouldn’t want you, couldn’t have you.”
You let out a breathless laugh that quickly turned into a gasp as his hips snapped forward again. 
“Keep going,” you rasped, one hand clawing up the curve of his back, the other buried in his hair. “Don’t stop.”
His only reply was a low, broken groan against your skin, like he was coming apart just from the feel of you wrapped around him. You locked your ankles behind him and rocked your hips forward, drawing him deeper. A spark of pleasure flared up your spine, making your head fall back against the fogged-up mirror..
“I tried so fucking hard to keep my distance.” He chuckled low against your collarbone, though the sound was strained, caught between shallow pants and a raw groan of need. “You have no idea what you do to me.”
His vibranium hand slid between your bodies. His fingers found that sensitive bundle of nerves, circling with gentle strokes, and your body jolted in response. An uncontrollable whimper left you as your thighs trembled around him.
“I’ve been dying to hear those sounds from you.” Bucky panted against your ear. 
You pressed closer to him, shaking legs tightening around his waist as you pursued his fingers. He chuckled at your poorly hidden desperation, chest vibrating from the sound. As his fingers swirled, cock pumping in and out, you felt your body clench involuntarily around him, drawing a moan from him. 
“Fuck, Bucky, ” you breathed, barely able to form the word as your pleasure surged, unrelenting and dizzying. “If I’d known this was what you were holding back, I would’ve pushed harder.”
Bucky’s rhythm faltered, his thrusts becoming uneven and desperate, chasing the high he could feel coiling tighter in both of you. Your raw moans echoed around the small bathroom, rising above the hiss of the shower and the frantic beat of the slap of wet skin. Your climax broke over you like a wave crashing against the shore. Your entire body arched, legs trembling as you whimpered, lips parted, eyes squeezed shut. Pleasure tore through you like lightning, leaving your nerves sparking in its wake.
With a guttural groan muffled against your neck, Bucky followed you over the edge. You felt him twitch inside you, warmth spreading as he spilt into you, his hips stuttering erratically as he buried himself as deep as he could go. His arms tightened around you, as though he needed to hold you close to keep himself grounded.
For a long, breathless moment, you stayed like that. Tangled together, trembling, the heat of the afterglow. The water still rained behind you, forgotten, as you both came down slowly, limbs heavy and slick with sweat and steam. Then, slowly, Bucky lifted his head to look at you. His hair was plastered to his forehead in wet strands, water trailing down the lines of his cheekbones and along his jaw. His eyes, dark and hungry, searched yours with a mix of dazed satisfaction and something else. A flicker of awe, maybe. Or disbelief.
You gave him a slow, wicked smirk and reached up to brush a dripping lock of hair off his brow, your fingers lingering just a second longer than necessary.
“I need you to pull that transfer request, by the way,” you murmured, voice low and rough with breath. “There is no way in hell I’m training with Thor.”
His lips twitched, a hoarse laugh escaping him, short and surprised. But the fire in his gaze didn’t fade. If anything, it darkened.
“I’ll pull it…” he said, voice thick with promise as his hands slid back down to your waist, “…when I’m done with you.”
From the way his fingers gripped your hips, you had a feeling that wouldn’t be anytime soon. 
---
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pedroscurls · 12 days ago
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love at last (one-shot)
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summary: harry’s never been in love before… until he meets you, which awakens a part of him that he never thought he was capable of.
pairing: harry castillo x fem!reader content warning(s): minor spoilers so please beware!, love at first sight trope, harry is charming and completely smitten, mainly harry POV, harry + reader go on dates!, no use of y/n. word count: 4.6k a/n: i just finished watching materialists and i'm OBSESSED with harry so obviously the next best thing is to write for him. please heed the warnings, there will be a few spoilers mentioned in this story!!! hope you enjoy nonetheless bc i'm gonna be dreaming about harry for a long time (look at those CURLS in that second pic tho jfc 🥵)
Harry had given up on the idea of love. He hadn’t felt it before and he felt like life was just passing him by. Was something wrong with him? Was he just not capable of falling in love—being in love? 
Lucy was a good match for him, but it felt forced. There was a mutual attraction, but something had been missing and he wasn’t sure what it was. 
Not until she said that she didn’t love him. Harry realized at that moment that he didn’t love her either. Lucy said it was supposed to be easy, but he wasn’t sure anymore. He tried Adore’s services, but the matches didn’t feel real, didn’t feel authentic. These women just wanted him for his money, his height, his job. He checked a lot of the women’s boxes—he was a unicorn, which Lucy liked to put it. 
But it never felt easy. He looked at each woman from a business standpoint, something transactional, but Harry yearned for something more. 
Something deep. 
Something real.
So, he canceled his membership and decided that maybe love was just never going to be in the cards for him. 
And maybe that he didn’t need it anyway. 
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The dating scene in New York was horrific. To you, it felt like every nice man in the world didn’t exist. All the dates you had been on ended terribly—with some even ending early. 
The men were either too judgmental or too self-centered, or worse—just wanted one thing and one thing only. Was it this hard to find someone nice? You thought maybe you had been too picky, so you lessened your expectations—that didn’t work either. 
So, you decided to stop dating altogether and instead put your focus into work. If the universe wanted you to be in love, then maybe you should just be patient and let life do its own work. 
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Harry had felt instant attraction before, but the first time he laid eyes on you it felt like time stood still. You were laughing at something someone said and he felt a flutter at the pit of his stomach. He’s never seen you at any of his family’s parties before, he would have remembered you. 
He ordered a drink at the bar as he glanced at you from the corner of his eye. Your smile was so warm, so kind, so genuine. He normally has this natural confidence in him, but when he saw you walking towards the bar, he straightened up and felt his heart race faster. 
Maybe you were a friend of his sister-in-law, he wasn’t sure. His family’s parties were usually so big that he doesn’t remember who’s who. But he knew that he was definitely going to remember you. 
The party was for his brother and his wife—a baby shower and gender reveal. A year after their wedding and they’re already expecting. 
He felt you stand next to him and then he heard your voice, which only made him even more nervous because you sounded so sweet, so nice. Harry had taken a deep breath and then finally turned his body to face yours, but when your eyes met his own, he felt his stomach do flips. 
“Hi,” you said with a small smile. 
“Hi,” he replied with one of his own. 
“Friend of the family?” you asked. 
Harry shook his head. “Older brother.” 
You widened your eyes and reached out to rest a hand over his forearm—a natural reaction from you. “Oh my god, you’re Harry.” 
Harry looked down at your hand briefly and smiled, nodding in your direction. “That’d be me. Are you friends with my brother or…” 
“I’m friends with Charlotte,” you answered, dropping your hand from his forearm. “I was teaching English abroad so I couldn’t make it to her wedding. I’m just glad I could make it for this event.” 
“Where did you teach?” Harry asked. 
“Philippines,” you smiled brightly. “It was amazing. I loved it there.” 
Harry couldn’t help but smile too. You made him feel comfortable, despite the nerves he was feeling before you walked over. “And now? Are you going back there to teach?” 
You shook your head. “It was only a two year contract. I have my certification now to teach English to non-native English speakers here in the States, so New York is home for now.” 
Harry could hear the passion for your work in your voice and the way your entire face lit up. It was refreshing—talking to someone who actually enjoyed what they did for a living. “So you’re teaching at a school? Elementary?” 
You let out a quiet laugh and shook your head again. “As much as I loved teaching younger kids when I was in the Philippines, my focus now is teaching adult learners. I work at a local community college.” 
Harry smiled to himself. He heard the bartender set your glass of wine next to you and you turned away from him to thank the other man from behind the counter. The same genuine and kind smile lining your lips. 
“You sound like you love your job,” he said. 
“Oh, I do. It’s a lot of work, but it’s so rewarding. I try to tell my students that learning English shouldn’t ever replace their native tongue,” you continued. “That their native language is something to be proud of and that just because they’re learning English doesn’t mean it replaces the language they know and grew up with.” 
“You must be an amazing teacher,” he grinned. 
“I try to be,” you laughed quietly. You could feel your cheeks heating up as you took note of just how handsome he is. You had heard about Harry from your dinners with Charlotte, but she didn’t say how extremely handsome he was or how deep his brown eyes were. 
“And I’m just in private equity,” he sighed teasingly. 
“Well, at least you’re rich,” you laughed quietly. “I bet that’s nice.” 
Harry shrugged. He wondered if this is where the conversation will shift, if the genuine authenticity he felt from you will disappear. “It’s a family business.” 
“Oh, so it’s not what you would have wanted to do?” You asked, taking a sip from your glass. You lean against the counter of the bar and stare up at him. “If it isn’t, what would you have wanted to pursue?” 
Harry tilted his head as he brought his own glass to his lips. He stared at you from the rim of his glass and then dropped his eyes momentarily to look down at his feet. “Not sure. I haven’t really had the chance to even think of what I would want to do if I wasn’t in the family business.” 
“Hm,” you said, eyes looking up at him from top to bottom. “Maybe a model?” 
He grinned. “Are you hitting on me?” 
“And if I am?” you smiled, eyes staring deeply into his own. 
Harry’s brows slightly raised at your forwardness and he glanced off to the side when he heard his name being called. Then, he looked at you and shot you an apologetic look. “Could I get your name?” 
You smiled and shrugged. “Find me later if you really want to find out, Harry.” You turned on your heel and left him at the counter of the bar when the other guests approached Harry. You glanced over your shoulder to see his eyes staring directly at you as he nodded at whatever the other person is saying. 
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You and Harry kept stealing glances at each other from across the room. You could see the way his eyes lingered along your frame and you’re already three drinks in and feeling very brave. 
When Charlotte and Peter found out they’re having a boy, the music only became louder and everyone began dancing. Harry’s eyes stayed focused on you as he walked through the crowd straight to you. He sat next to you and smiled to himself, tilting his head in your direction. 
“Will you tell me your name now?” Harry asked.
You smiled and nodded, telling him your name as you turned your body to face his. You drape one of your legs over the other as you set aside your finished glass of wine. 
Harry smiled. “It’s nice to officially meet you,” he nodded.  “Now, would you like to dance?” 
“Oh, I don’t—” 
Harry interrupted you by standing up. He extended a hand out for you and maintained that charming smile. “If I say please, will you reconsider?” 
You bit your lower lip and shook your head, slipping your hand into his own. He helped you to your feet and then led you onto the dance floor. One of his arms snaked around your waist, pulling you closer to him as he kept a tight hold on your hand. You bit your lower lip and moved your free hand to rest on his shoulder. 
Being this close to him was intoxicating—feeling his broad chest remain flush against your own, his deep brown eyes staring directly at you as if you were the only person in the room, and god he smelled so good. You inhaled quietly and let your eyes fall shut, allowing him to lead you through the slow dance. 
“Can I take you out to dinner?” he whispered into your ear. 
You pulled back and opened your eyes to look at him. He’s still fucking smiling. 
“Are you asking me out, Harry?” 
“Would that be a bad thing?” 
You stared into his eyes as you both sway side to side to the song. You had sworn off dating after so many failed dates, but Harry… Well, there was something about him that piqued your interest from the moment you laid eyes on him today. 
“Well, no, but—”
His smile dropped and his eyes softened. “Oh shit, I’m sorry. I didn’t even ask if you were seeing anyone.” 
You could feel his hold around you loosen, but you tightened your grip around his hand and pulled him back flush against you. “I’m not seeing anyone.” 
“Oh,” he nodded slowly. “Okay, great. That’s—That’s great for me,” he chuckles quietly. 
“But I kind of sworn off dating… at least for a while,” you admitted. “Lots of bad dates and I just—”
Harry spun you around and pulled you back into his chest, holding you tighter now. “I’ll take you anywhere you want to go,” he whispered. “Do whatever you want to do… and if after that date you decide you want to officially swear off dating, then I’ll go my own way and you’ll go yours.” 
“You’re charming, you know that?” You smiled, biting the inside of your cheek. 
Harry shrugged, though a large grin lined his lips. “So, is that a yes?” 
“Okay, one date.” 
“One date is all I need,” he smiled, kissing your cheek and holding you firmly against him as he continued to dance with you. 
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On your first date with Harry, he had taken you to one the finest restaurants in New York. It had taken you by surprise and you felt very out of your element. You weren’t used to dates like this. He was very chivalrous—he showed up with flowers, opened doors for you, pulled out your seat, and even offered his coat when he noticed you were getting cold. 
And the conversation came easy. He made you laugh and you made him blush. How could someone like him be single? When he reached for your hand during the walk around the park, you looked up at him and found him smiling in your direction. 
He didn’t kiss you on the lips when he brought you back home. Harry had just cupped your cheek, whispered that he had a great time, and kissed your forehead. It was the simplest gesture, nothing too grand or over the top, but you felt your stomach flutter with butterflies. 
Then, you asked him out for a second date. He was grinning—dimples deep in his cheek as his hand dropped from your cheek to wrap around your waist. His strong embrace filled you with so much warmth, so much anticipation because for some strange reason, it felt like you belonged there. In his arms. 
He insisted that he take you out to one of his favorite restaurants and you agreed with a smile. Harry kissed your cheek that same night before walking back to his car. He waited until you were inside before driving away. 
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On the second date, Harry wanted to surprise you. He took you to a sushi restaurant—something more casual, but still romantic nonetheless. He rented out the entire small restaurant just for the both of you. The look of surprise on his face made him feel proud, more confident that maybe you wanted to date him more exclusively. 
Harry enjoyed spending time with you and how you had always given him your sole attention and focus. It even brought a smile to his face at just how kind you were to everyone you encountered. During the date, you were intrigued and interested in how the head sushi chefs were making the food. 
It was such an intimate setting and it felt easy. Harry had to wonder if this was what Lucy said a year ago—love should be easy. With the right person, love can be the easiest thing in the world. 
Throughout the date, you were becoming more touchy. A hand on his forearm or leaning against him as you let out a laugh that wracked your entire body. Even after the date when you both were walking around the same park again, he had taken your hand and you laced your fingers with his. Then, he felt your head rest against his shoulder and it made the flutter in his stomach more noticeable. 
When he dropped you off at your front door, you had stared up at him with your big eyes and he wanted nothing more than to pull you into him and press his lips against yours. 
But Harry didn’t. He wanted to respect you and your boundaries. You were playing with the lapel of his jacket before gripping it and pulling him against you. Harry’s hands had darted out to rest on your hips—to steady you, to ground himself. 
“Are you gonna ask to kiss me, Harry?” you had whispered. 
Harry’s lips parted as he stared into your eyes. The grip on the hips tightened and he gave you a single nod. He had taken a step forward, eyes completely dark and filled with desire. “Just wanted to make sure you were comfortable.” 
You smiled and moved your hands to play with the hair at his nape, the curls at the back of his head. You leaned in—just enough for the tip of your nose to brush against his. Harry inhaled sharply. 
“If you don’t kiss me now, Harry, I’m gonna think you don’t like me.” 
Harry tilted his head and leaned forward, nudging your nose with his own. “Well, we can’t have that, can we?” He moved one of his hands to your cheek and leaned in to press his lips firmly against your own. He remembered how soft and warm your lips were, the sound of a quiet whimper escaping you, and the way his heart was racing. Harry hadn’t felt like this before—how even when he wasn’t around you, all he could do was think about you, or how the butterflies in the pit of his stomach fluttered whenever he saw your name flash across his phone. 
It also made him feel special whenever you were together. You were kind and generous to strangers, but he always felt like the luckiest person whenever your attention was shifted to him. This was only the second date and Harry found himself wanting this to be more exclusive as the date continued. 
The kiss lasted only a few more seconds—the both of you getting carried away before you pulled away from him. Harry remembered the look on your face. The small smile that lined your lips, the way your arms had loosely wrapped around his shoulders, your eyes gazing repeatedly down to his lips like you wanted more. Needed more. 
“Where do you want to go for our third date?” he asked, whispering quietly as he brushed his lips with yours.
“How about I plan it?” you replied, pursing your lips to capture his own in a gentle kiss. 
“Yeah?” Harry asked, dropping his hand from your cheek to join his other at your lower back. He laced his fingers and pulled you flush against him, the feeling of your body heat radiating against his own awakening something deep inside of him. Yearning. Desire. Need. 
“Yeah,” you nodded. “Let me take you out this time.” 
Harry smiled. He had always been the one to plan the dates, to cater to the other person that he was slightly taken aback at your offer. It made him feel giddy, excited at the possibility of what you would plan. “Okay,” he answered. “I’ll let you take me out this time.” 
“Good,” you smiled and pecked his lips. “I’ll see you then?”
Harry nodded, but pulled you back into a deep kiss. This time—it was intense, more intimate, urgent. His lips moved with your own and his hands drifted lower until the tips of his fingers rested just above your ass. He wanted to reach down and squeeze, but he didn’t. Not yet, he told himself. Not yet. 
“I’ll see you then, baby.”
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On the third date, you had told him to dress casually. He called you just before he was about to pick you up, asking just how casual he was supposed to dress. You had smiled to yourself and told him casual enough to the point where he wouldn’t care if his clothes would get wrinkled. 
So, when he picked you up—dressed in a pair of jeans and a white t-shirt with sneakers, you practically wanted to pull him back into your apartment. The date could wait a little longer. You loved seeing him in a suit—had gotten used to seeing him dressed so formally—but seeing him like this, so relaxed and casual just made him sexier. 
“This casual enough?” he asked, presenting you with another bouquet of flowers. 
“You look hot,” you complimented and leaned in to peck his lips. He smiled when you pulled away and then took your hand to lead you outside of your apartment. 
“So…” you told him. “We’re having a picnic.”
Harry grinned and pulled you close to him. You hadn’t yet closed the door to your apartment, but he leaned in and pressed his lips eagerly against your own. Without hesitation, he had moved his lips with yours, hand moving to rest on your hip. “A picnic sounds nice.”
He didn’t know what to expect, but he certainly didn’t expect to be lying on a large blanket with you next to him. You both were looking up at the clear, blue sky talking about something so random. He felt his heart skip a beat when he heard you laugh—it filled his senses until all he could hear was you and how happy you looked. He wondered if this was what other couples felt like, if this is what they would normally do—have a picnic in the park, eat some food, then lie down in each other’s arms just embracing each other’s company. 
When your laughter died down, Harry had moved to rest his hand on your cheek. You stared up at him, the smile still remaining on your lips. He felt like he could sense what you were thinking about, communicating with you through his eyes. 
His thumb had brushed against your lower lip and he leans in, pecking your lips lightly. 
“Can I ask you something?” Harry whispered. He felt the nerves begin to build and looked away from you for a moment. It wasn’t until you replied with a soft and quiet yes that he looked back at you.
“Would you want to date more exclusively? More seriously?” he asked in a rush. Harry’s eyes softened and the smile on your lips never faltered. 
“I’d like that,” you answered instantly. “I’d like that a lot actually.”
“Really?” 
“Really,” you repeated. 
Harry let out a sigh of relief and leaned in to press his lips against yours again. Your arms wrapped around his shoulders as you lay on your back with him propping himself on his side to kiss you. He felt a huge weight lift off his shoulders—he couldn’t help but feel extremely overjoyed and happy that the feeling was mutual. 
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Almost six months later and now in a fully committed relationship with you, Harry finally understands what Lucy meant—love was supposed to be easy… and loving you felt like second nature to him.
You had been spending most days at his penthouse. There’s already a space in his closet for you and extra counter space in the bathroom. You manage to make this place a home—he’d come home and you’d be there in the kitchen, making dinner. Or on some nights, he’d catch you grading some papers. This felt easy. Being with you was easy. 
Harry knew that he loved you the moment he laid eyes on you. It’s cliche—he knows—but every time he’s around you, his heart races. When he sees you smile or hears you laugh, it makes his stomach do flips. And when he’s holding you in his arms, his life feels complete—like the one thing that had been missing in his life is now here with him. 
He hadn’t yet said he loved you because he wanted to do it right. He wanted it to be perfect. Harry had an entire date planned—he was going to take you out to the same restaurant from your first date. Take you for a walk around the park afterwards and then, he’d tell you how much he loves you. It was going to be romantic—something to remember for the rest of his days, but that morning… His entire plan was thrown out the window. 
You were in his kitchen, dressed in one of his shirts, making breakfast. Harry had gotten used to this, but for some reason, that morning, he felt his breath catch in his throat. The sun shone through his large windows, illuminating you in a warm glow. He was dressed in a pair of sleep pants and a worn t-shirt as he stared at you, a smile slowly lining his lips. 
He walked over to you and watched as your eyes moved from the pan and over to him. Harry bit his lower lip at the sight of your broad smile. You dropped the spatula and walked over to him, wrapping your arms loosely around his shoulders as you pecked his lips lightly.
“I was going to surprise you with breakfast in bed,” you said. “Since you always like to surprise me, I figured I could return the favor this time.”
Harry chuckled and allowed his arms to wrap loosely around your waist. He held your body firmly against his own as he leaned forward to rest his forehead against yours. “Why are you so good to me?” he asked quietly, hand coming up to rest on your cheek. 
“Hmm,” you answered. “Maybe because I really like you.” 
Harry grinned and pulled back to look into your eyes. His thumb brushed against your cheek as he tilted his head. “Yeah?” 
You nodded, leaning against his touch. “Yeah,” you answered. “Consider yourself lucky, Mr. Castillo.”
Harry’s eyes narrowed as he reached behind you to turn off the stove. He lifted you off your feet to set you on top of the kitchen counter, moving his hands to rest at either side of you. He moved to stand between your legs as he felt your hands move to card through his hair. 
“I am,” he whispered quietly. “Very lucky.” His eyes stared deeply into your own. His heart felt like it was beating out of his chest—the nerves slowly beginning to build as those three words settled on the tip of his tongue. There was a tense silence that filled the air and it was almost like you could anticipate what Harry was about to say next. 
Your hands moved to his cheeks, feeling the bristles of hair underneath your fingertips. You leaned down to kiss the tip of his nose as his hands moved from the edges of the counter to his rest on your hips. 
“Baby,” he said softly. 
“Harry,” you replied. 
“I’m in love with you,” he blurted out as he pulled back just enough to look into your eyes. “I thought I’d never be capable of love. It just always seemed so difficult for me, but you—loving you is easy.” Harry couldn’t help the tears that build in his deep brown eyes. The way you were looking at him now eased so much of the nerves and worry that he felt. “You make me feel—baby,” he sighed—his breath catching in his throat as he brought a hand up to wipe the fallen tear that trickled down his cheek once he blinked.
“Hey…” you whispered, kissing his cheek lightly. “I’m in love with you too, Harry.” 
He pulled back. Eyes wide, features etched with shock. “You make me feel good,” Harry continued. “Valuable. Seen. Heard. Special. Every moment spent with you is always better than the last, and when I’m apart from you, I’m always counting the minutes until I can see you again.” He let out a shaky breath as he leaned in to rest his forehead against yours. His nose brushed against yours as he whispered, “I love you. I think I loved you the first time I saw you.” 
“God, I forgot how charming you are,” you teased, hands moving to his shoulders as you slowly wrapped your arms around him. “You made me believe in love again, Harry. I’m so glad I said yes when you asked me out… and to think, I could have missed out on this, on you.” Leaning in, you pecked his lips lightly. “And loving you is easy too. You make me feel safe and I’ve never felt that before… with anyone.”
Harry smiled and gently pulled you off the counter, your legs easily sliding around his waist as he walked you both to the large couch. He sat down with you on his lap as he brought a hand up to your cheek. “Move in with me?” 
“Didn’t you know?” You smiled, leaning in to brush your lips with his. “I was slowly beginning to move my things in anyway,” you grinned. 
Harry chuckled, firmly pressing his lips against your own. “I love you, baby,” he mumbled. “So much.” 
“Mmm,” you smiled, pulling away briefly. “Gonna show me how much?” 
His eyes darkened instantly and he wrapped his arms around your waist to swiftly lie you on your back against the couch. Harry settled himself between your legs as he leaned back in—eagerly pressing his lips along your jawline down to the side of your neck. 
“Oh, baby, you know I will,” he grinned against you, peppering light kisses against your neck. 
The feeling of his stubble tickled your skin, causing a fit of giggles to escape your lips. He smiled to himself and pulled away from you briefly to look into eyes. 
“I love you,” he whispered, a content smile lining his lips. 
“I love you too, Harry. Now get back here and kiss me,” you giggled, linking your hands together at the nape of his neck and pulling him back down to press your lips with his. 
Harry smiled against your lips—contentment, relief, and happiness filling his entire soul. 
Lucy forgot to mention that loving was only easy if it was with the right person. 
And you—you were the right person for him. 
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shyoko · 26 days ago
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✧Too late. She moans my name now ✦༺⊹
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This writing is my own; no copies, adaptations, or translations are allowed. I hope you like it. 𓂃
✦ 1.2K words * Masterlist˚ Taglist₊‧ ✦𓂃 
Ni-ki x fem!reader ⚠️ CW: +18, jealousy, possessiveness, rough intimacy, dirty talk, choking, oral (m receiving), spanking, marking, phone call humiliation, creampie, breeding kink, emotional tension.
He wouldn’t touch you. Not after all the fights. So you begged. Now he’s fucking you hard enough to make your ex hear every moan.
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The room was silent. Only the dim glow of the bedside lamp lit the outline of his body, naked on the bed, giving you a perfect view of every tense muscle, every shadow that defined his broad back and narrow waist. Ni-ki hadn’t looked at you once since he entered the room. He hadn’t spoken to you. Hadn’t touched you. Nothing. And you couldn’t take it anymore.
Days without a single fucking touch. No affection. No kiss. Just arguments, shouting in the middle of the night, doors slammed shut… all because of your stupid ex who kept calling like he still had a claim on you. And you, with that naive sense of calm, had tried to de-escalate. Had tried to explain to Ni-ki that the other guy meant nothing, that he wasn’t part of your life anymore. But Ni-ki couldn’t stand it. And you couldn’t stand the silence either.
You walked slowly to the bed. He still had his back to you. The silence between you felt like concrete. “Ni-ki…” you whispered, but he didn’t answer. You moved closer, reaching out, your fingers barely grazing his skin.
He turned around sharply, his eyes burning with restrained rage. “Don’t start. I don’t want to talk. I don’t want to fight anymore.”“I’m not here to fight…” you whispered softly, almost trembling. “I came to say I’m sorry.”
Ni-ki closed his eyes tightly, like your words only made things worse. He turned away from you again. “Do you really think a damn ‘sorry’ is going to erase what you defended? What you excused?”You bit your lip. Pride hurt, but your need for him hurt more. “I just want to be with you… I just want you to look at me like before.”
You moved in from behind, wrapped your arms around his waist. He tried to push you off with one hand, sighing heavily. “No. Don’t touch me right now.”“Then tell me you don’t love me anymore,” you murmured, kissing his shoulder blade. “Say it, and I’ll leave.”
Silence. His jaw tightened. “Don’t provoke me.” His voice was low, tense, dangerous.
But you kept kissing him, lower, softer. Your lips drifted to his neck, and his breathing hitched. His hand caught your arm, this time tighter—but not to push you away. He held on. “What if I just want you to hold me…? What if I just want to prove I belong to you?”
That broke him.
Ni-ki turned abruptly, grabbing your wrists and pushing you down on the bed. His eyes were full of anger, yes, but also the desperate kind of need he tried to hide. His lips crashed into yours—brutal, messy, hungry. He kissed you like he hated how much he wanted you, his hands trailing over your body like he needed to make sure you were still there, still his.
His lips devoured you. Nothing soft. Nothing sweet. Just raw frustration. He bit, sucked, held you down with a grip he only used when control slipped through his fingers. His hips pressed against yours, and his tongue forced its way between your lips, like he needed to erase any trace of someone else.
He yanked your underwear off without hesitation. The fabric didn’t stand a chance before it hit the floor. You were left wearing only his oversized t-shirt—too big, too his—and that seemed to set him off even more. “Look at you…” he growled against your neck. “My shirt. My bed. But you’re still acting like you’re not completely mine.”
His fingers slammed into you, two at once, fast, deep, impatient. He fucked you with them hard, hitting that spot inside that made your whole body shake. “You’re so fucking wet… and I’m the one who’s supposed to be angry?” he scoffed, his tone mocking. “Pathetic.”
You moaned beneath him, clinging to his neck as he gave you no space to breathe. His mouth dropped to your chest and bit down through the shirt, leaving a harsh, burning mark.
“Don’t pull away,” he growled when you squirmed. “Don’t you dare tell me to stop. Not tonight.”
Your mind was gone. Your body was melting. Your thighs trembled, your pussy pulsed violently around his fingers. Suddenly, he lifted you with ease and dropped you to your knees in front of him. His erection strained against his pants, bulging, ready to snap. Ni-ki pulled them down, and his cock sprang free, hard and heavy, the tip flushed and dripping.
“Do what you’re good at,” he muttered coldly. “Have your fun. Like it’s the last fucking time.”
He gripped your hair and forced you to look up at him. You didn’t speak. You just opened your mouth and took him in. The taste, the heat, the weight of him—he filled your mouth and your senses all at once. “That’s it…” he groaned through clenched teeth. “My pretty little slut.”
He fucked your mouth without mercy. Each thrust deeper, faster, pushing past your limit. Tears streamed from your eyes, saliva coated your chin, and still, he didn’t stop. His hands were tight in your hair, guiding you like a toy.
Then your phone rang again. The name on the screen: your ex.
Ni-ki froze. He pulled out of your mouth, a thick string of spit trailing. He grabbed the phone, glared at it, and answered.
“Listen, asshole,” his voice was sharp as a blade. “Call again and I’ll break your face. She’s not yours. Never was. She’s on her knees for me, swallowing it like she fucking needs it. And now you’re gonna hear exactly what it’s like to be irrelevant.”
He tossed the phone on the bed—still connected. He shoved you onto the mattress and flipped you over, pulling your hips up roughly. No warning. No pause. He slammed his cock inside you with one brutal thrust.
You screamed, your voice tangled in spit and moans and heat. He started moving fast, punishing, every thrust deeper than the last, smacking into you like he was trying to make a point. “This what you wanted, huh?” he grunted in your ear. “You want him to hear how fucking needy you get for me? Let him know this pussy only gets wet for me.”
A harsh slap landed on your ass. Then another. Your skin stung, your walls clenched. His hand wrapped around your throat, squeezing just enough to leave you breathless as he kept pounding into you.
“You’re mine,” he hissed against your back. “Mine. And I’m gonna fill you so deep you won’t be able to hide it.”
The phone was still on. Still active. Moans, cries, his name over and over. Then, finally, the line cut off.
Ni-ki smirked darkly. “Coward,” he murmured. “He knows he lost.”
He leaned over you, biting your shoulder, his hips snapping into yours with more power, more fire.
“I’m gonna cum,” he warned, his voice ragged. “And I’m giving it all to you.”
He spilled inside you with a guttural groan, shaking as he emptied himself deep. He didn’t pull out. Just stayed there, catching his breath on your back.
“Don’t take it out,” he ordered, breathless and rough. “I want it to stay in. I want you dripping with me so everyone knows what happens when someone tries to take what’s mine.”
He wrapped his arms around you from behind, his lips brushing your ear with a final, vicious whisper:
“I’m gonna put a baby in you, princess. So that fucker finally gets it—you’re mine. Only mine. Fuck.”
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✦N/a: Hiii, I hope you all liked it a lot! I love you so much, my loves!
✦Taglist: @lezleeferguson-120 @nuki-riki @ijustwannareadstuff20 @vvenusoncasual @miellette @enhacolor @xxkatsusjinsux @somieverse @ourshin @han-to-my-minho @douqhnxtss @nuggets4lifers @mitmit01 @highway-143
2K notes · View notes
mw00nie · 1 month ago
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when you first met producer!suguru, he didn’t even say hi.
he just nodded from behind his massive desk, a lit cigarette resting between his fingers, smoke curling around his cheekbone as he tapped something into the beat sequencer. his black hair was messy in an admirable way, his eyes barely flicked in your direction. if shoko hadn’t walked in behind you and gone “suguru, this is her,” you would’ve thought he hadn’t noticed you walked into the studio at all.
“you sing?” he asked, voice low, dry. you nodded. he gestured to the mic booth. “go.”
that was it. no warm-up, no icebreaker, no compliments about your viral video that landed you in this basement studio in the first place. he played a loop, some scratchy vinyl sample over a gritty bassline, and let you figure out what to do with it.
you didn’t impress him right away. he didn’t say anything after your first run. or your second. but after the third take, he reached over and stopped the track.
“try again,” he said. “don’t think so hard this time.”
and for some reason, you listened.
***
three months passed like weather. fast. quiet. unpredictable.
you showed up to that studio almost every day. some days you’d write for hours and only get one clean take. other days you’d record nothing at all. he didn’t force anything. if the energy was off, he’d light up, lean back, and scroll through sounds for hours without even looking at you. but you didn’t leave. you stayed. the silence between you started to feel like music too.
he wasn’t exactly warm, but he wasn’t cold either. he was still. unreadable. a little strange. he didn’t say much unless it mattered. didn’t have any other artists coming in. no flashy equipment, no plaques on the walls. just you, him, and whatever beat he built for the day. his instagram had no posts. no stories. just a profile picture of his recording booth with dimmed lights.
you started calling him “ghostface.” he didn’t laugh, but you saw the corner of his mouth twitch once.
you’d talk more in the later sessions. after midnight. when the windows steamed up and your voice was a little rough from singing too long. he’d ask about your old band, your hometown, the first song you ever wrote. you’d ask him why he didn’t work with anyone else, and he’d shrug and say, “don’t like most people.” he never really answered questions. he just let them float.
you started leaving stuff there. your hoodie, your lip gloss, your charger. he didn’t mention it, but you noticed he moved your things to the little side table by the mic booth. like it was your spot.
he smelled like vetiver and incense. clean but earthy. his hands were always cold. he rarely looked you in the eye unless he was adjusting your mic. and when he did, it felt too loud in your chest to breathe right.
you didn’t know when it started. the tension. maybe it was always there. maybe it was the way he listened when you sang. not just to the notes, but to you. or how sometimes you’d glance at him through the booth glass and find him already watching you.
the first time he touched you, it was an accident. you reached for the same knob. your fingers brushed. and you didn’t move yours away.
neither did he.
***
the night it happened, the track wasn’t even finished.
you were in the booth laying harmonies over a hook he’d built that morning. just a scratch loop, moody keys and that signature dusty drum pattern he always defaulted to when he wasn’t trying too hard. you’d run through the same few lines a dozen times, but it wasn’t clicking. you felt off. exposed. raw.
you pushed open the booth door and leaned against the frame. your tank top clung to your skin, sweat cooling on your lower back. no bra. cotton shorts. the kind of outfit you only wore around him now, like it was your shared little secret.
he was in his usual spot. sockless, cross-legged, his bun loose and falling apart, smoke trailing from the joint between his fingers. he glanced at you over his shoulder, but didn’t say anything.
“something’s off,” you said softly.
“your timing’s behind the snare.”
“that’s not what i mean.”
this time, he turned.
for a few seconds, neither of you moved. the beat kept looping on his screen, the faint hum of it bleeding through the room. he just stared at you, like he’d already heard what you were about to say and was waiting for you to admit it.
so you walked up to him. close. he didn’t lean back, didn’t shift away, just tracked your movements, eyes darker than the room.
you took the cigarette from his hand and stubbed it out. his fingers twitched when yours brushed them. still, he didn’t say a word.
“what are we doing?” you asked, barely above a whisper.
his voice was lower than yours, almost a rasp. “you tell me.”
you kissed him like you needed to. his hand caught your waist instantly, grounding you. the other slid up the back of your neck, slow, steady, holding you still like he couldn’t risk you leaving.
his mouth was warm. soft, but patient. deliberate. not frantic, not greedy, just present. every movement slow, like he wanted to drag this out. like he’d been imagining it for a while and didn’t want to get it wrong.
you climbed into his lap without even thinking about it. straddling him, your knees on either side of his hips. his palms found your thighs, dragging up under your shorts. you felt the heat bloom in your stomach when he gripped your ass through the fabric, pulled you tighter against him.
your tank was pushed up before you even noticed his hands move. he kissed your collarbone first. then the curve of your chest. then your breast, tongue slow, eyes half-lidded, like he was worshipping it. your breath hitched when his teeth grazed your nipple.
“fuck, sugu–”
he exhaled through his nose, like he felt that. his name in your mouth.
you pulled his shirt off, then reached for his jeans. he stopped you with a hand around your wrist.
“booth,” he murmured.
“what?”
“i want you in the booth.” which made sense because it was soundproofed.
he stood and lifted you with him in one motion. didn’t give you a chance to protest. just walked you straight into the recording space and pressed you back into the padded wall. the door clicked shut behind you.
you gasped when he dropped to his knees.
“oh–wait–”
but he’d already hooked his fingers into your shorts and tugged them down, slow, mouth dragging along your thigh as he kissed his way up. your legs trembled a little. he looked up at you, one brow lifted, like he was asking if you’d tell him to stop.
you didn’t.
he licked a long, deliberate stripe up your center.
your hand hit the wall.
“fuck–”
his tongue was slow, purposeful, tracing around your clit before sucking it gently between his lips. two fingers pushed into you without warning. the angle was perfect. his rhythm was maddening. steady, unhurried, like he enjoyed how much it wrecked you.
you came fast. embarrassingly fast. legs twitching, breath catching in your throat, hips grinding against his mouth like you couldn’t help it.
he stood up again, mouth slick, eyes so dark they barely looked brown anymore.
“you okay?” he murmured, brushing your hair behind your ear.
“yes,” you breathed. “please–”
you tugged at his belt and he let you, but he didn’t rush. undid his fly slow, dragged his boxers down just enough. when he lined himself up, he waited. forehead to yours, hands on your hips.
“look at me,” he said softly.
you did. and he slid into you in one long, aching push.
your lips parted, breath stuttering. he was thick. deep. your back arched as he bottomed out, the stretch perfect, almost too much. he groaned low in his throat, jaw clenched tight.
“so fucking wet,” he whispered.
you couldn’t respond. just nodded, legs wrapped around his waist, arms hooked around his neck. he started to move. slow at first. then harder. deeper.
your moans filled the space. quiet at first, then louder. helpless.
he kissed you through it. your lips, your jaw, your throat. said your name under his breath like it was something sacred. and when he hit that spot that made you cry out, he kept hitting it. over and over. precise. focused. until you came again, nails dragging down his back.
“oh my god– fuck– don’t stop–”
he didn’t.
he fucked you through it, grunting softly in your ear. you heard him mutter, “good girl,” and you clenched around him so hard he stilled.
“you keep doing that and i’m not gonna last,” he said, breath ragged.
“then come,” you whispered, teeth grazing his shoulder.
he whimpered. actually whimpered.  and drove into you once, twice more before pulling you down hard onto his cock and burying himself with a broken moan. you felt him twitch inside you, his arms tight around your back, his mouth open against your neck.
you stayed like that. tangled, panting, your heartbeat stuttering in your ears.
then he blinked. tilted his head toward the mic. 
“shit.”
you froze. “what?”
he exhaled.
“…still recording.”
you looked up at the red light blinking on the mic. blinking. still on.
your stomach dropped.
“suguru..how long–”
he leaned out, pressed the stop key on the monitor.
00:49:53
“fifty minutes..”
you smacked his arm. “are you serious?!”
he winced, then smirked, lazy and smug. “fifty minutes of pure soul.”
“delete it.”
“nope.”
“i swear–”
he kissed your temple. then your cheek. then your lips.
“we’ll sample it,” he murmured. “cut around the names.”
“you’re insane.”
***
A/N: i almost went insane while writing this and i have absolutely no motivation so idk if this good :<
1K notes · View notes
callsign-fox · 2 months ago
Text
Space to Breathe - Bob/Robert Reynolds
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Pairing: Bob/Robert Reynolds/Sentry x Fem!Reader/Superhero
No warnings, lots of fluff!
*Could be a continuation of Dance with Me, but can also stand on it's own*
Thank you for all the love on my first one! It's SO much fun to be writing again! xo
Y/N was no stranger to chaos. 
Being the Phoenix meant living in constant unpredictability, and getting close to people like Bucky Barnes and Yelena Belova only sharpened her instinct to brace for the worst. 
She’d faced monsters, corrupt governments—but nothing prepared her for him. He wasn’t a threat she could fight or a mission to complete. He was something else entirely. And that made him dangerous.
Y/N didn’t look back as she walked into the kitchen, but she felt the newcomer Bob’s eyes on her. That invisible thread tugged at her spine—persistent, undeniable. She’d felt it the moment they met, and it terrified her.
Leaning against the counter, arms crossed, her gaze drifted to him. Bucky was already talking, something about Valentina and a plan to take her down for good, but Y/N wasn’t listening.
Beside her, Yelena nudged gently. “You good?”
“I’m fine,” Y/N replied. It was automatic. A lie dressed in calm.
The meeting moved fast—intel, threats, movements. The kind of stuff that used to make Y/N’s skin buzz with adrenaline. But now, it felt muted. Distant. Her focus kept drifting, always back to him.
Bob didn’t say much, but he listened. Closely. His hands were folded in his lap, but they weren’t still—his fingers moved constantly, a nervous habit or something deeper, like he was trying to ground himself.
Once the debrief ended and the others trickled into different rooms, Y/N lingered behind, pretending to refill her coffee. She could feel him behind her before she heard him.
“I’m sorry,” he said softly. 
She turned. “What are you sorry for?” 
He shrugged, gaze lowering. “I don’t belong here. I’m making you uncomfortable, I can see it in your face.” 
“That couldn’t be further from the truth.”
He brushed his fingers through his hair. “I…I just don’t want to be a burden.” 
“You could never be a burden, Bob.” She whispered, smiling up at him. 
His eyes flicked up to meet hers, a curious expression etched on his face. He hesitated for a moment, but finally asked, “Why can I feel you?” 
“I have no idea, but I can feel you too.”
He took a small step closer.
Y/N reached out slowly, her fingers just brushing against his. He started to pull away, then froze. For a moment, neither of them breathed—caught in the quiet weight of something unspoken. But when a door creaked open down the hall, they both flinched, the moment shattering like glass. 
“Alexi, if you touch my toothbrush I’m going to kill you!” Bucky yelled from the hallway. 
Y/N reached behind Bob and grabbed a set of keys that were sitting on the counter. “Come on, I know somewhere we can go.” 
He followed her out the apartment, up the stairs and out the side door that led to the rooftop. The city stretched wide and glowed below, lights flickering like the stars.
Y/N sat first, pulling her knees to her chest. Bob settled beside her, a safe distance apart-but not too far. 
“You don’t like being touched,” Y/N said quietly.
He tensed. “Not usually.” 
“But you let me.” 
“I didn’t want to move,” he admitted, “didn’t want it to stop. It feels…right.” 
That thread tugged again, deep and low in her chest. 
Y/N looked over at him, “Me either.”
The wind was soft up here, cool against their skin, and the sounds of the city below felt miles away. Up here, it was just them—two people weighed down by too much power, too much memory, and a connection neither of them could explain.
Bob leaned back on his hands, his gaze drifting over the skyline. “It’s quiet here.”
Y/N eyes drifted. “That’s why I like it. No questions, no pressure. So much space to breathe.”
He nodded slowly, like he understood. “I don’t remember the last time I felt calm.”
She didn’t speak—just shifted closer, her knee brushing his.
His breath hitched. 
“You don’t have to be anything up here,” She said, voice low. “No powers, no stress. Just…yourself.” 
Bob looked over at her then. Really looked. His eyes were soft now, less guarded, like he was letting her see behind the walls. Her pulse fluttered at the way he studied her—like she was something he didn’t know he needed until she appeared.
“I have to tell you something,” he said softly, voice barely above a whisper. “But I’m scared that if I do… you’ll leave.”
Y/N’s brows knit together, and she tilted her head, her voice steady and warm. “I’m not going anywhere.”
He hesitated, eyes dropping briefly to her lips before meeting her gaze again. “I would really like to kiss you.”
For a second, all she could do was stare, her heart thudding against her ribs. Words tangled in her throat, but one slipped free—quiet, certain. “Yes.”
His brow furrowed. “Yes… what?”
A small smile curved her lips as she moved just a little closer. “Kiss me.”
Bob leaned in slowly, like he was afraid the moment would vanish if he rushed it. His fingers brushed her neck before cupping her cheek gently, grounding himself in the warmth of her skin. She didn’t move, just let him take his time, let him choose her. 
His lips brushed against hers, and an immediate pulse of power thrummed through her body. They had barely touched, yet something inside her ignited—hot and electric.
Y/N gasped, the air catching in her throat, but Bob didn’t move. His lips hovered just above hers, breath mingling with hers in the fragile space between.
“Do you feel that too?” he murmured.
She nodded, unable to speak, her hand finding his chest, fingers curling tightly into his shirt like she needed something—anything—to hold on to. Her body was aching for him, hungry for more.
“Please,” she whispered, voice trembling. “I need more.”
When his lips finally met hers again, it was soft—reverent almost—but beneath it, desperation burned. He kissed her like he was trying to memorize her, like she was the only thing anchoring him in the world. He lit something inside her, a fire that roared to life, and she never wanted it to burn out.
He pulled back just an inch, his forehead resting against hers, like he was anchoring himself there. 
“This feels like...” he exhaled, voice shaking, “home. I don’t feel like I’m breaking anymore.”
Y/N smiled, breathless. “That’s because you’re not.”
Her fingers brushed slowly along his jaw, lingering before her thumb swept across his bottom lip with a teasing softness. Her voice was a whisper, thick with longing. “I don’t think I could ever let you go now.”
Something shattered behind his eyes—walls crumbling, fears dissolving.
He wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her closer. “I’ve been waiting my whole life for someone to say that. And now that you have… I won’t let go. Not unless you ask me to.”
And for once, the chaos quieted.
Not gone. Just... stilled.
They were just two people finding something they didn’t know they were missing.
1K notes · View notes
rimzaaa · 3 days ago
Text
Happily Ever After
Oneshot!
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Pairing: Frontman(inho) x Female reader(y/n)
Fandom: Squid Game (오징어 게임)
Summary: What if the final game never truly ended? What if love survived the arena?
Y/N thought she had lost everything. The man she loved—dead. Her world—shattered. But when the mask comes off, and the truth is revealed, she's forced to face her deepest heartbreak all over again. With a newborn in her arms and her past standing in front of her, will she walk away… or risk everything for a second chance?
This is a story of betrayal, grief, found family, and the kind of love that crawls out of hell just to hold you again.
Warning: Violence & death. Blood & trauma. Canon-typical content. Emotional breakdowns. Heavy angst. Redemption arc. Some soft comfort & fluff. Mentions of suicidal ideation (brief)
Author's Note: This is my first ever fanfiction for Squid Game, and it’s centered around my favorite character—the Frontman (aka Inho/Young-il). I wanted to give the show an ending that we all think the characters deserve. This story means a lot to me, so I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Feedback and reblogs mean the world 💌
Words Count: 4.2K+
✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦
The air was thick — heavy with the scent of blood, sweat, and fear.
Only three players remained: Y/N, Gi-hun, and Player 222 — Jun-hee’s daughter, too young to understand the stakes of the game.
They stood on the broad, red-stained surface of the triangle-shaped platform, raised high above the arena floor. It was wide enough to move, to run — or to fight. The ground beneath them felt solid, but the danger lay in the unspoken rule: one of them had to fall.
Y/N clutched the child tightly against her chest, her breath quick, her heartbeat louder than the ticking clock. A few feet away, Gi-hun stood in silence, eyes locked on the next shape — the circle, waiting for the moment someone would make the first move.
Time was running out.
Only two players could jump forward.
High above the arena, behind the wall of dark glass, the Frontman stood in silence — his mask reflecting the soft glow of the lights. The VIPs lounged nearby, laughing, drinking, placing their bets. But he wasn't listening.
His heart was pounding.
There they were.
Y/N and Gi-hun.
Two names from a life he barely recognized anymore.
Two people he once knew... back when he was still young-il.
Originally, he had entered the games as a player with one mission — to keep an eye on Gi-hun. But the moment he saw you, everything changed.
He fell for you. Hard.
Quietly. Helplessly.
And without telling a soul, he made himself a promise:
He would protect you. No matter the cost.
But now, as he watched from the shadows of power, that promise echoed bitterly in his chest.
Because all he could think about…
was what happened last night.
⟣ FLASHBACK ⟢
The room was dimly lit. Player 100 and Player 333 were fast asleep after the luxurious dinner arranged for them as finalists. Gi-hun and Y/N, however, remained awake — watching over the baby girl Jun-hee had entrusted to them.
Suddenly, a pink guard entered the room and walked toward them.
“The Leader wants to see you both,” he said flatly.
Gi-hun and Y/N exchanged a glance before standing up and silently following the guard.
The elevator doors slid open with a soft beep.
And there he was — the Frontman, seated calmly on a couch in his all-black uniform, his expression hidden behind a dark mask.
Gi-hun and Y/N walked in slowly, stopping in front of him.
“Sit down. This will take some time”
He said in his cold, commanding voice.
They obeyed, taking seats across from him.
“I have an offer for both of you.”
Both Gi-hun and Y/N stared at him, confused.
An offer?
The Frontman reached into the pocket of his long coat and pulled out two daggers, placing them on the table between them.
“Go and kill the remaining two players,” he said evenly. “And I’ll make sure you both walk out of here. The next game won’t happen — I promise you that.”
“Why should we trust you? Why would you help us?”
Gi-hun asked sharply, trying to make sense of what was happening.
Y/N, meanwhile, was silent — her eyes locked on the man behind the mask. Something in her gut told her something was coming… something big.
The Frontman’s eyes flicked between the two of them beneath his mask.
He took a slow breath, then reached up — pulling back the hood of his uniform.
Then, without a word, he removed his mask.
And looked straight at them.
“…young-il?”
Y/N whispered, her voice trembling, her breath catching.
Her hands shook as she stared at the man she had once fallen in love with inside these deadly walls — the man who had whispered soft promises to her in the dark. The man she’d mourned. The man she thought was long dead.
He wasn’t.
He was alive.
Right in front of her.
Part of her wanted to throw herself into his arms, to cry into his shoulder and tell him how much she missed him.
The other part wanted to grab that dagger… and drive it into his throat.
She clenched her fists tightly in her lap, her heart unraveling.
“young-il… you…?”
Gi-hun looked stunned, disbelief washing over his face. The man he once trusted — the one who had fought by his side — was the Frontman?
The Front Man lowered his head.
“In-ho”
He corrected quietly, barely above a whisper. There was guilt in his voice. Shame in his eyes.
He turned to Y/N. She was gripping the hem of her t-shirt tightly, her eyes glassy with tears — but she refused to let them fall.
“Why?”
Her voice cut through the silence like a blade.
“Why did you do this to us?”
Before In-ho could answer, Gi-hun suddenly stood up, grabbing one of the daggers off the table, rage flaring in his eyes. He raised It as if to strike but stopped just short — trembling, breath uneven.
“Why did you kill Jung-bae?”
He asked through gritted teeth.
In-ho didn’t flinch.
“I’m sorry for what happened to him,” he said. “But killing me now won’t fix it. Someone else will just take my place. You both need to get out of here — with that baby.”
There was a flicker of desperation in his voice.
Despite everything — the lies, the betrayal, the pain — he was still trying to protect them.
“I swear I’ll explain everything. But please… just do what I’m telling you. Go back. End this. I’ll make sure you both survive.”
Gi-hun scoffed bitterly, shaking his head before storming out of the room — dagger still in hand.
Now only Y/N remained.
She sat frozen in her chair, staring at the man across from her — the man she once gave her heart to.
In-ho slowly rose from the couch and stepped toward her.
But she was faster.
Y/N snatched the second dagger from the table and stood, holding it out toward him.
“Don’t… don’t come closer.”
In-ho froze.
“Don’t you dare come near me,”
She snapped, voice shaking.
“You’re a liar. A killer.”
Those words sliced deeper than any wound.
He had been called that before. Many times.
But coming from her?
It shattered something in him.
“Y/N”
He whispered, taking a step forward.
“Don’t!”
She screamed, stepping back.
“Don’t come any closer or I swear… I’ll kill myself.”
She pressed the dagger to her throat.
In-ho’s heart nearly stopped.
His hands flew up in surrender.
“Okay — okay. I won’t. I promise.”
“Y/N, please… just listen. Just this once.”
His voice cracked, stripped of all command.
He was no longer the Frontman now — he was just In-ho.
A man begging the woman he loved to believe in him one last time.
“I don’t believe you.”
Her voice was a whisper.
“You’re not young-il. You’re not the man I fell in love with.”
The words hit him like a bullet.
He couldn’t speak. Only watched as a tear finally slipped down her cheek.
“Please, Y/N,”
He breathed.
“Don’t say that. I know I’ve done horrible things. I’ve lied. I’ve killed. But my love for you — it was never part of the game. It was pure. It was real. It is real.”
She let out a bitter laugh.
“Pure? Do you even know what that word means?”
She lowered the dagger. Stepped back.
“I loved you. I really did. But now…”
She paused. Her voice cracked.
“If you love me — even a little — you’ll help us. You’ll help us all escape this sick, twisted world of yours.”
The words struck deep.
She threw the dagger to the floor with a sharp clatter.
Then turned.
And without looking back…
She walked away.
⟣ PRESENT ⟢
Y/N trembled with fear, but her grip on the baby girl remained steady as she cradled her tightly against her chest.
Across from her, Gi-hun stood frozen in thought, still lost in everything that had happened — and likely still struggling to accept the impossible truth: Young-il… was the Frontman.
“We can’t stay here forever,”
Gi-hun’s voice suddenly cut through the silence.
“We have to think of something.”
Y/N stepped closer to him, lowering her voice as if afraid someone — or something — might hear.
“Gi-hun…”
She glanced around warily, then met his eyes.
“Maybe… maybe we should wait. What if what In-ho said… what if it’s true?”
Gi-hun stared at her in disbelief.
“What?”
His voice cracked with pain.
“You think that man — the one who killed Jung-bae — will save us?”
The memory of that moment was still fresh in his mind.
The blood. The scream. The mask.
“Do you…”
He paused, his voice thick with emotion.
“Do you still love him, Y/N?”
Her heart stuttered in her chest.
She didn’t know the answer.
She’d spent the whole night convincing herself that In-ho was a monster — a liar, a murderer. But some part of her — the part that remembered whispered promises and warmth in a cold, brutal world — refused to let go.
“I don’t know,”
She whispered, eyes falling to the floor.
“But… I want to believe him.”
She didn’t dare look at Gi-hun after that — afraid of what she might see in his eyes.
Behind the dark glass wall, In-ho stood silently, watching it all unfold alongside the laughing, drunken VIPs. He didn’t need to hear her words to know what she was saying.
And God…
It was already tearing him apart.
His thoughts spun in every direction — calculating, panicking, hoping.
He turned his head slowly toward the VIPs, who were already placing bets and laughing about who would fall first.
His jaw tightened behind the mask.
He was running out of time.
But if there was even a single chance to stop this game — to end all of this — he was going to take it.
Gi-hun ran a hand through his hair, eyes flickering between Y/N and the baby in her arms.
The clock was ticking.
Tension rising.
He turned his gaze toward the last platform — the circle.
There wasn’t much time left.
If they didn’t act soon, all three of them would be eliminated.
“I’ll do it”
Gi-hun said quietly, not looking at her.
He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, then turned to face her.
Stepping closer, he placed his hands gently on her shoulders.
“Y/N…”
His voice was low. Shaky. Thick with emotion.
“This baby — she’s innocent. Jun-hee entrusted her to us. She deserves to live.”
A beat.
“And you…”
He paused, his lips quivering slightly.
“I know you still love him. In-ho. And I don’t blame you.”
“You’re the best person I met here,”
He continued, voice breaking.
“And I know he loves you too. He won’t let you die.”
He tried to smile — a pained, trembling thing — as tears welled in his eyes.
“I have no one left.”
His voice cracked.
“My daughter… she’s safe. She’s happy. That’s enough for me.”
He looked down at the baby nestled in Y/N’s arms and smiled softly.
“I’ll go.”
“You both need to live.”
Y/N’s silent tears streamed down her face as she stepped forward, wrapping her arms tightly around him.
“No… I can’t let you die for us,”
She whispered, shaking her head desperately.
“You can’t just give up your life like this.”
Gi-hun held her close, his own tears falling freely now.
“Someone has to.”
He pulled back gently, brushing a hand over her arm. Then, leaning down, he pressed a soft kiss to the baby’s forehead.
“Keep her safe, Y/N.”
“And take care of yourself, too.”
“I’m sure In-ho will come for you.”
He smiled faintly, then began stepping backward.
One step closer to the edge.
Y/N sobbed, her voice breaking apart as she screamed:
“NO! GIHUN, DON’T!!”
But he didn’t stop.
In-ho watched as Gi-hun stepped backward, inching closer to the edge of the triangle-shaped platform.
He stopped — just a few feet from falling.
This was it.
Now or never.
In-ho’s jaw tightened, fists clenched. His heart was hammering in his chest.
He couldn’t let Gi-hun die.
Not after the promise he made to her.
Behind the glass wall, his eyes stayed locked on Y/N.
She had fallen to her knees, crying, screaming, begging Gi-hun to stop.
The baby lay beside her on the platform — unaware of the nightmare unfolding around her.
In-ho’s chest burned with guilt.
The sight of her like that — broken, helpless — was unbearable.
“Goodbye, Y/N”
Gi-hun whispered, a faint, resigned smile on his lips.
And just as he was about to fall back—
BANG.
A gunshot tore through the silence.
Y/N screamed.
Gi-hun flinched, stumbling forward in shock.
Behind the glass, the room exploded into chaos.
In-ho stood holding a smoking gun — and one of the VIPs lay dead at his feet.
The remaining VIPs froze — stunned, furious, terrified.
“What the fuck did you just do?!”
One of them roared.
In-ho didn’t answer.
He simply raised his gun again, pointing it toward the one who spoke — who immediately backed off in fear.
“This game ends here”
He said, voice thick with rage and barely-contained grief beneath the mask.
He turned to one of the pink guards and gave a sharp nod.
Seconds later, the cold robotic voice echoed through the entire arena:
“The game has been stopped.”
On the platform below, Gi-hun and Y/N stared upward — eyes wide.
They knew.
They knew it was him.
Y/N lowered her head, tears still slipping down her cheeks — but a deep part of her exhaled in relief.
A part of her that knew he would come for her.
That he would keep his promise.
Another VIP stepped forward, but In-ho fired a shot into the ceiling — making him freeze instantly.
“Don’t even think about it.”
“You can’t do this!”
Another VIP spat.
“We fund your games! You exist because of us!”
In-ho stepped forward slowly, like a shadow rising.
“I’m ending this game.”
His voice was cold now. Final.
“And I’m ending you with it.”
The room was suddenly flooded with guards — all pink suits, all armed, their weapons now turned on the VIPs.
In-ho walked toward the exit.
“Boss!”
The black-mask officer called out.
“What do you want us to do with them?”
In-ho didn’t turn around.
Didn’t flinch.
“Kill them all”
He said quietly.
Then walked out of the room.
Gunshots echoed in the distance as In-ho stormed through the corridors, heading straight for the game arena.
His mind raced. His grip tightened on the gun still warm in his hand.
A pink-suited guard came running from the control room, nearly stumbling as he approached.
“Sir!”
In-ho stopped and turned toward him. “What is it?”
“We’ve got a problem. Coastal guards — they’re headed this way. We believe they’ve located the island.”
In-ho’s expression remained calm behind the mask, but inside, he knew this day would come.
His brother. Jun-ho.
He always knew he’d find him eventually.
In-ho followed the guard into the control room. A monitor flickered, showing the coordinates and proximity of the coastal ships — closer than ever.
Without hesitation, In-ho crossed to a locked panel on the wall.
He took a key from his pocket and unlocked the hidden compartment.
Inside: a single red button.
He didn't hesitate even for a second — then pressed it.
A piercing siren blared, echoing across the island.
“We’re leaving”
In-ho commanded, his voice like steel.
Guards scattered into motion around him, collecting hard drives, burning papers — prepping the evacuation.
On the Platform…
Gi-hun and Y/N looked up in alarm as the siren wailed through the sky.
“What… what is that?”
Y/N asked, her voice trembling.
Was In-ho behind this?
What was he planning?
Or worse… had he changed his mind again?
Gi-hun rushed to her side, knelt down, scooping the baby girl into his arms and wrapping his free arm around Y/N’s shoulder.
“Stay close,”
He whispered.
“Whatever’s coming… I’ve got you both.”
Suddenly, with a mechanical hiss, the center of the triangular platform began to open — revealing a hidden lift.
Both Y/N and Gi-hun stumbled back, stunned.
The platform rose again…
And there he was.
In-ho. Standing in his usual frontman dress. Mask still on.
“You… what the hell are you doing?!”
Gi-hun shouted, stepping forward as he carefully laid the baby back down.
“What’s going on?!”
Y/N froze, staring at In-ho — her chest rising and falling fast.
She wanted to scream, but something about his eyes beneath the mask told her… he hadn’t given up.
“I’m keeping my promise,”
In-ho said quietly as he stepped forward.
“There’s no time to explain. We have to move. Now.”
“This siren — what does it mean?”
Y/N demanded, her voice cracking between rage and fear.
In-ho knelt beside her, took off his mask and gently lifted the baby into his arms.
Gi-hun made a move, but Y/N’s small shake of her head stopped him.
In-ho looked down at the baby, his expressions changed just for a second. Maybe the memories of his unborn child hit him. He quickly composed himself then looked up at her.
“The island is rigged to explode. We don’t have much time.”
A beat.
“Y/N, please… just trust me. I’ll explain everything later. But if we don’t leave now, none of us make it out.”
Gi-hun took the baby from In-ho and gave Y/N a solemn nod.
“He’s right. Let’s go.”
Y/N stood, still glaring at In-ho.
He reached out a hand to help her up.
But she ignored it. As she was still angry at him. She stood on her own — proud, guarded.
In-ho lowered his hand and curled it into a tight fist, but said nothing.
He led them both out of the arena, through a hidden back corridor.
A hidden dock. A ship waiting.
The guards had already boarded the other escape vessels, leaving behind only the sound of alarms and the ticking clock of destruction.
Gi-hun boarded with the baby, Y/N right behind him.
In-ho hesitated, turning for one last look at the island.
And then he stepped aboard.
Moments later, the engines roared to life, and the ship sped away from the shore.
As they sailed into the horizon, a massive explosion lit up the sky behind them — the island engulfed in flames.
It was over.
✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦
The sky was dark, moonlight hidden behind drifting clouds.
The steady sound of waves filled the air as the ship cut through the black ocean, heading toward the nearest safe dock.
Inside a quiet room below deck, Y/N gently rocked the baby girl in her arms — her tiny eyes fluttering closed, unaware of the world she’d survived.
Meanwhile, up on the deck, Gi-hun stood at the railing, staring blankly into the ocean, lost in thought.
Footsteps approached.
In-ho came to stand beside him, silent for a moment. Then he held out two small bottles of soju.
“You remember?” he said softly.
“We promised we’d drink soju together… once we made it out alive.”
Gi-hun didn’t even glance at him.
He let out a dry, bitter scoff and shook his head.
“I made that promise to young-il.”
In-ho lowered his head, guilt crashing over him like the waves below.
“I know,” he said quietly.
“And I know you hate me for everything I’ve done. You have every right to.”
He looked over at Gi-hun, whose eyes stayed locked on the horizon — silent, hard, unreadable.
“But let me fix things now. Whatever I can. I did… horrible things. I thought humanity was dead. But you—”
In-ho swallowed hard, voice thick.
“You proved me wrong.”
Gi-hun finally turned his head, surprised.
“You were going to give up your life… just to save Y/N. And that baby. You showed me… there are still good people left in this world.”
The man who once orchestrated death games… now standing beside him, confessing his defeat?
Gi-hun didn’t know how to respond.
Not fully.
But after a long pause, he reached out — and without looking — took one of the soju bottles from In-ho’s hand.
“Finally,” he muttered under his breath.
He opened the bottle, still not meeting In-ho’s eyes.
But that single action said enough.
In-ho smiled faintly.
He didn’t speak again. He knew forgiveness wouldn’t come easy.
But maybe, just maybe…
This was the first step.
Y/N gently laid the baby down on the bed, her hands lingering on the blanket.
She leaned back against the headboard, eyes fluttering closed.
Click.
The door creaked open.
She sat up instantly.
In-ho stepped in and quietly shut the door behind him.
“Can we talk?”
His voice was low. Hesitant. Not the voice of the Frontman. Just… his.
Y/N didn’t turn to face him.
“There’s nothing to talk about” she said, rising from the bed.
She turned her back to him — because she knew the moment she looked into his eyes, she’d lose all her resolve.
In-ho walked toward her slowly until he stood just a few steps away.
“Y/N…” he breathed.
“I know you hate me. And I deserve that. But…”
His voice cracked.
“Please believe me — loving you was never part of the game. I lied, yes. I did unforgivable things. But you— You were the only truth in all of it.”
His eyes shimmered. His voice, shaking.
Y/N turned sharply and stepped toward him, rage flooding through her chest.
She grabbed his collar with trembling hands.
“How dare you.”
Tears spilled from her eyes now — raw, broken, endless.
“You LIED to me. You faked your death. Do you even understand what that did to me?”
“I wanted to die. Because in a world where you didn’t exist — what was the fucking point of living?”
In-ho’s eyes dropped to the floor.
Her words shattered him.
And then — he fell.
Dropped to his knees.
Like a broken man — like a boy who lost everything.
He wrapped his arms around her legs, clinging to her like a lifeline.
“I’m sorry… I’m so sorry I made you feel that way…”
His voice was barely a whisper, thick with the weight of every buried emotion he’d ever carried — ones he’d never shown the world… except to her.
Y/N stood frozen — watching him.
The Frontman. The cold-blooded man behind the mask.
Now crying like a child at her feet.
She slowly knelt down, trembling, and gently cupped his face in her palms.
She wiped his tears away with her thumbs.
“I… I want to forgive you,” she whispered.
“But I can’t. Not after everything you did — to me, to us.”
In-ho’s heart lurched. His breath caught. Was this it? Was this the end?
“No” he whispered urgently, cupping her face.
He pressed his forehead to hers.
“Don’t say that. You don’t mean it. I know you don’t. Please — just one chance. Let me prove I’ve changed. Let me be better.”
He pulled back, searching her eyes for anything — a flicker of hope, the softness she used to show him.
But all he saw was pain.
So much pain.
She didn’t answer. She just shook her head.
And something inside him broke.
“Y/N, please…”
His voice cracked under the weight of desperation.
His hands trembled.
“I’ll protect you both — you and the baby. I’ll take you far away from this hell. I’ll keep you safe. Just… please don’t leave me like this. Please—”
He was spiraling — voice unraveling, panic rising.
She slowly stood up.
Took a single step back.
And that was enough.
“It’s over, In-ho.”
⋆。°✩ 𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐘𝐄𝐀𝐑 𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐑 ✩°。⋆
The house smelled of warm vanilla and sugar. Y/N had just finished baking Yu-ri’s favorite cookies.
Yu-ri — that was the name she’d given Junhee’s daughter. Now one year old, chubby-cheeked, bright-eyed… the spitting image of her mother.
Tiny footsteps pattered into the kitchen.
“Mama.”
Y/N turned with a soft smile. Yu-ri stood there, rubbing her sleepy eyes with her tiny fists. She was still half-asleep, but hearing her voice always filled Y/N’s chest with a bittersweet ache.
She knelt, scooping her up into her arms and kissing her temple.
“Did you sleep well, sweetheart?”
Yu-ri gave a slow nod, wrapping her small arms around Y/N’s neck.
Just then, her phone rang from the living room. Y/N’s face lit up when she saw the caller ID.
Gihun.
She pressed the green button, settled on the couch, and gently placed Yu-ri in her lap.
“Hey! Gihun. How are you?”
“I’m good. What about you? And how’s the little queen?”
“She just woke up. Moody as always”
Y/N laughed, just as Yu-ri peeked into the camera and babbled: “Un..cle!”
Gihun chuckled, but his eyes glistened with tears.
“She looks… just like Junhee,”
He said softly, and a flicker of pain crossed his face.
Sensing the shift in mood, Y/N tried to steer the conversation gently.
“So? Adjusted to American life yet?”
Gihun had moved to the U.S. a year ago to be closer to his daughter — trying to start fresh, to live differently.
“Yeah. You could say I’m figuring it out.”
Then, a pause.
“Y/N… Inho called me last night.”
Her smile faded.
Inho. The man she had once loved. The man who had broken her.
The memories crashed into her like a wave — the betrayal, the lies, the pain… and somehow, still, the love.
“I forgave him,” Gihun said gently.
“He’s changed, Y/N. And I hope, someday, you’ll be able to forgive him too.”
Before she could respond, the front door creaked open.
“I’ll call you later, Gihun.” She ended the call and placed the phone aside.
“I’m home!”
A familiar voice called.
Yu-ri’s entire face lit up.
“Appa! Appa!!”
She scrambled off the couch and ran to the door.
Inho walked in, catching her in his arms instantly.
“Aww, appa’s little princess” He whispered, kissing the top of her head.
“Can appa get a kiss too?”
Yu-ri giggled and gave him a sloppy kiss on the cheek, making him laugh.
He stepped into the living room, holding her, and Y/N stood nearby — a plate of warm cookies in her hand.
“Yu-ri, come baby. Let’s eat.”
Yu-ri gasped excitedly, “Yayyy!” and reached for the cookies.
Inho gently set her down, and she happily took a big bite.
Y/N turned to head back into the kitchen—
But Inho caught her wrist.
She turned to him.
He dropped down on one knee.
A small red velvet box in his hand.
Y/N’s heart stopped.
“I know you weren’t expecting this”
Inho began, his voice trembling.
“And I know you haven’t fully forgiven me. But it’s been a year… and I’m so thankful you decided to give me a second chance that night”
“Today, I want to make it official. I want to be a father to Yu-ri. I want to be yours — forever.”
“Y/N"
"Will you marry me?”
Tears welled in her eyes.
Could this really be happening?
The memories of the games, the horror, the heartbreak… it all came crashing back — but so did every moment of change, of healing, of the quiet love that had grown again.
She nodded slowly, her voice breaking:
“Yes.”
Inho’s eyes widened, stunned.
“I forgave you, Inho. I just never said it. You’ve changed — and you’ve proven it.”
“But promise me… you’ll never go back to who you were.”
He stood, pulling her into his arms.
“I swear. I’ll spend the rest of my life giving you both the happiness you deserve.”
He slid the ring onto her finger.
They both smiled through their tears.
And then he leaned in and kissed her — a soft, emotional kiss filled with everything they couldn’t say. Y/N wrapped her arms around his neck, returning it with just as much love.
“Oooo…”
Yu-ri’s curious voice made them break the kiss and laugh.
Inho picked her up again and tickled her until she squealed with joy.
Y/N grabbed her phone with a grin.
“Time to tell someone the news.”
She video-called Gihun.
“What happened? You ended the call so suddenly earlier—”
She raised her hand.
The ring sparkled on her finger.
Inho stepped in, wrapping an arm around her shoulders.
“WHAT? He proposed to you?!”
Gihun’s jaw dropped.
“Damn! I’m so happy for you both,”
He said, his voice cracking, eyes glassy.
“We have decided to officially make Yu-ri our daughter” Inho added.
Gihun nodded in approval.
“After everything… you two deserve this. A real, peaceful life.”
“Finally,”
He smiled.
“A happy ending.”
Y/N and Inho echoed together:
“Yes"
"Happily ever after.”
1K notes · View notes
em1i2a3 · 2 months ago
Note
Idk if you’re taking requests but can you do Bob x reader where the reader has powers like Rogue. Bob has the biggest fattest crush on reader, reader is oblivious (but the crush is mutual), and angst angst ANGST
Sailor Song
Pairing: Bob/Robert Reynolds/Sentry/The Void x Rogue Inspired!Fem!Reader
Summary: Bob is in love with you, but you can’t be what he wants.
Warnings: Semi-Spoilers for Thunderbolts as Bob is the main character here. There is a whole boat of angst in here, and it’s a bit heartbreaking, and really frickin sad (don’t worry y’all not too sad…Hopefully lol) but I do like the character of Rogue, and this Inbox Request really sparked a lot of inspiration in me to write for an idea like this!
Author’s Note: I love where I got to go with these two characters and how it played out in the end. I added something to the reader's little arsenal of powers by the way, but it is for the plot. I hope it meets expectations. I kinda wrote this really late at night (01:49am over here lol)
Word Count: 5,477
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Bob remembers the first night he saw you in his dreams.
Not when he first met you–no. That had been a tense mission briefing, it was your first introduction to the team. You had barely spoken, and Bob had sat two chairs away from you and tried not to stare. It was like he was enchanted by you– the way you held yourself, the way you stood and said your name, the little wave you gave to everyone with your gloved hands before sitting down. He remembered everything about that day.
But the dream–God the dream was so different.
It started with darkness. Not shadows, not dusk–just a smothering kind of black, like he was trapped in the deepest part of his mind. There was no floor beneath him. No air in his lungs. Just coldness. He was clawing at it. His fingers were raw and bleeding, his breath was ragged, and there was this panic that curled tight in his chest like he had swallowed barbed wire.
There was no sense of direction but all he knew was that he needed to get out, but the darkness fought back. It dragged him down, swallowed his screams, twisted his thoughts into screeching noises. It was his personal version of hell…Then…There was light.
It was just a sliver. A violent, beautiful tear right down the middle of the darkness, like someone had reached in and split the fabric with their bare hands.
Then suddenly the darkness was gone, and he found himself in the middle of a glowing field. The air was thick with warmth and the scent of something sweet–jasmine, maybe. Or lavender. He couldn’t tell. The grass around him was tall and pale, not green, but something softer–sun-bleached gold, silver at the tips like it had caught the moonlight. The sky above him was an endless stretch of colour, he couldn’t tell if it was day or night, but it was a bruised blue-purple, with streaks of rose and gold that bled through like watercolour.
It was quiet…For once it was quiet.
There was no wind. No movement. No screaming. Just breathing–his own, slow and steady. He could feel his pulse slowing down, and his skin didn’t hurt, and his hands weren’t bleeding anymore. There was no evidence of the fight he had put up in the darkness.
Confused, he turned in place slowly, trying to understand where he was–trying to find the edges of the dream. Nothing like this had ever come to him in his dreams, not when sleep was usually a war zone. A collapsing cathedral of his own mind.
Then he saw you.
You were standing a few yards away, at the center of the field, bathed in the low light. You weren’t wearing your gloves, you weren’t armored or distant, you looked happy, something he had never seen. You were smiling, and barefoot, your hair lifted slightly from the breeze that blew by you–something he hadn’t felt until that moment.
Bob froze in his spot, and your name left his mouth before he even realized he was speaking. You looked up at the sound, and turned towards it. Your eyes met him at that moment, and something in his chest cracked wide open. He was shocked that you heard him, let alone looked at him.
And then-just as his feet moved forward, just as his hand twitched at his side with the desperate, gut-deep urge to reach for you…He had woken up.
Ever since that night he would pray that he would see you again in the landscape of his dreams.
And he always did.
Each time he closed his eyes, you were there–waiting for him in that glowing field, barefoot and smiling. There was no fear or sharp intake of breath when he reached for you. It was just you, and him, in a version of the world that didn’t punish either of you for wanting something tender.
During the day, he kept his distance from you. He respected the rules you had– the ones that kept everyone safe. But in his mind he was hyper aware of everything you would do. He learned your habits, the way you avoided tight corridors, how you sat far away from people during movie night, how you always wore long sleeves no matter the weather, and how you pulled away when things became crowded.
But at night, in that field of light and silence, he didn’t have to pretend, even though he knew it wasn’t really you.
He could stand beside you without seeing you run off. He could sit close to you, close enough to touch your arm, close enough to feel your breath when you spoke. Sometimes, you would laugh and throw your head back like you weren’t scared of yourself. Sometimes you would lean into him, like it was easy…Like it was allowed.
In the dream, he wasn’t broken, and you weren’t dangerous, and that was all that mattered.
Then like always, Bob would wake up and land back in a body full of restraint. In a world full of barriers. In a life where the one person he wanted, didn’t truly want him.
Or at least, that’s what he told himself.
Because you never looked at him the way you did in the dream. You never touched him, never lingered near him too long. You were careful with everyone–but with him, there was something more than just caution. It felt like avoidance to him, and he couldn’t figure out if it was because you felt something too, or if it was just the shape of his own delusion.
—————-
“Valentina has planned a retreat for all of us this weekend.” Bucky announced, his voice even but authoritative in the way that warned everyone that nobody was going to be getting out of this, “She says it’s for ‘team bonding,’ so there are no exceptions.”
An array of groans echoed through the common room, and everyone exchanged glances at one another. You were at the kitchen island eating cereal, picking around the marshmallows, leaving them floating in the milk. Your spoon clinked gently against the bowl as you did it, moving slowly and methodically, not looking up to the chaos that was going on around you.
Across from you, Bob sat with his own bowl–one hand wrapped loosely around the ceramic, while the other one rested on the counter beside it. It wasn’t on purpose that he sat across from you, he had just walked in–wearing a baggy hoodie and matching sweatpants–poured his cereal in a sleepy haze and plopped himself down, still rubbing the dreams of you out of his eyes.
”Well why the hell do we need to go on a retreat if we literally already live together? Isn’t doing that enough?” Walker asked loudly, half-laughing, half-serious, his tone teetering on the edge of defiance. Bucky didn’t even flinch at the question because he already knew it was coming.
”Because Val said so, and because you guys don’t know how to wait until after briefings to snap at one another.” Bucky replied, not even looking up from the papers in his hands, “Just a reminder you’re the one who almost got into a fight with Yelena because she accidentally handed you the wrong clip for your gun…So…Maybe that’ll give you another reason why they want us to go into the a cabin in the woods together.” Bucky finished, his tone flat but edged with exhaustion.
A few chuckles rippled through the room, and Ava didn’t miss a beat.
”Yeah, it’s to make it easier to hide the bodies.” She said coolly, reaching for her coffee. Yelena grinned over her mug.
”I don’t need a cabin in the woods. I’d bury Walker deep enough that nobody would ever find him.” Laughter broke out, bouncing off the walls of the compound like someone had opened a valve and let the pressure spill. They all needed it, just to take the edge off the impending doom that was the forced retreat.
You glanced up at Bob who was staring down at his bowl, picking around at the contents like he was distracted. But you saw the way his jaw tensed slightly. The way his hand hovered just a second too long before plunging the spoon back into the milk. He looked up only when the laughter swelled again, and with the most practiced casualness, shoved a spoonful of soggy marshmallows into his mouth.
You glanced down at your own bowl, watching as the marshmallows drifted aimlessly, softening at the edges, bleeding their artificial colors into the milk in soft pinks and greens and blues. They didn’t look real. Like tiny ghosts of something sweet you’d never let yourself want.
A pang stirred in your chest.
Not because of the marshmallows. Not even because of the retreat. But because this was a rare moment–an opportunity to offer him something, anything, that didn’t come off as cold or standoffish. Something that didn’t feel like a wall.
You hadn’t meant for your past interactions with Bob to be sharp. But they had been. Unintentionally. A result of instinct, of fear, of that constant need to protect others from you, and maybe to protect yourself from what you knew you couldn’t have.
You let out a soft sigh, and reached out before you could talk yourself out of it, tapping on the counter in front of him. He had flinched, almost like you had reached out and smacked him. It was the smallest jerk in his shoulder but you saw it. His eyes flicked over to yours, wide and uncertain, like maybe he didn’t believe you were actually trying to get his attention.
“Do you want these?” You whispered, nodding towards your bowl. His eyebrows drew together, confused at your offer, and at the fact you were the one speaking first, when it had always been him to do that. Bob, stumbling through conversation starters. Bob, trying to make you smile. Bob, desperately trying to pretend that he wasn’t dreaming about you every night and waking up lonelier than the day before. His blue eyes glanced down at the bowl for a moment, then raised back to yours. You could see the way he was contemplating. There wasn’t calculation behind his eyes, there was conflict, like he couldn’t tell if this was real, or if he’d finally blurred the line between the waking world and the place where he only ever touched you in dreams.
You watched his mouth part–just barely, like he wanted to say really solid yes, but instead he gave a small nod.
And then–barely audible–he whispered, “Y-Yeah…I mean…If you don’t w-want them of course.” You shook your head at him, then without a word, you slid the bowl toward him. The motion was smooth and steady, but Bob noticed everything. He saw the subtle tension in your shoulders, the way your gloved fingers were barely touching the bowl, like you thought he was going to try to touch you, even the look on your face was telling him that you thought he was going to do something.
He swallowed, sitting up a little straighter, feeling his stomach twisting, as he met you halfway and dragged the bowl away from you, pulling it close to him.
Bob was going to say something, not anything huge, just something that could keep the interaction going.
But before he could get any words out–
”Wait, wait, wait, hold on–we’re all sleeping in the same room?!” Yelena's voice cut across the kitchen like a record scratch. That sentence alone made the both of you draw your attention back to what was happening, surprised by the new information.
”It’s a small cabin,” Bucky said flatly, “One open concept floor. Living room turns into a sleeping area, so bring your own blanket.”
“Oh, this is just great,” Walker muttered, “Can’t wait to wake up to Alexei’s snoring…”
”I do not snore.” Alexei replied.
Bob tuned out of the conversation after hearing the fact that you would all be shoved into one room together to sleep. He could feel a pit of dread settling in his stomach, because he knew what that meant for you. What it would feel like to be surrounded by everyone, pressed into a shared space with no safety net, and no room for distance. He could already see the cogs turning in your head, like the weekend was a minefield and you were the innocent person dropped in the middle of it to try and navigate around the impossible.
Even worse though–he knew what it would mean for him, if he had to fall asleep knowing you were just a few feet away. Close enough to touch. Close enough to hear you breathe. Close enough that when he opened his eyes he would see you, after spending the entire night dreaming of you. It made him ill, and he didn’t know how the hell he was going to handle it when the time came.
———————
The night before the trip, everyone had gathered in the common room to sort out who was bringing what, how many bags were going to fit in the back of the van, who was on snack duty, and who was going to sit where. It had been a loud, chaotic and predictably annoying back and forth, and all you wanted to do was retreat and go to sleep, but you knew that you were going to be a subject that was going to be brought up, so it would be easier to be there.
Bob on the other hand had turned in early.
Said he wasn’t feeling great, a headache according to him. He mentioned he just needed rest.
You overheard him murmur it to Yelena when she passed him in the hallway, and she didn’t push for any information, she just gave him a nod and let him go. It was something that he was doing frequently these days, ducking out of night events to go to bed, and there was always a convenient excuse for him. It was either a headache, lack of sleep, or just not feeling good, and it got him out of everything, including this conversation.
“Okay, okay!” Bucky exclaimed, raising his voice just enough to cut through the arguing, “Even if everyone brings only one bag, we’re still going to be short on space in the van. So we need to figure out how to get everyone there safely without anything happening.” There was a pause in the chatter, the kind that signaled the shift that you were anticipating–the part where you became the logistical variable.
Nobody said your name though.
Instead, there was some fumbling. Alexei muttered something about using the roof racks to tie Walker up onto it. Ava agreed with the suggestion. And Yelena was looking at you out of the corner of her eye like she was waiting for you to offer a solution before anyone else tried to come up with one on your behalf.
”I can drive myself…I have my car,” You said, eyes glancing down at the laminated packing list in your lap, “I can just meet all of you there.” You added. There was a small shift in the atmosphere, like you had immediately taken the tension out of the room. Bucky looked up from the clipboard he was holding, his expression unreadable but focused.
“Thank you, Y/N. That helps more than you realize…But we still won’t have enough space to fit everyone comfortably, would you be able to take someone else with you?” Your eyes flicked up to him.
”Sure.” Bucky bit the inner side of his cheek, like he was contemplating who he was going to send with you. Knowing that you would have final say regardless of the suggestion he gave.
”Would you be able to take…Bob?”
For a moment, all you could think about was how Bob had looked that morning when you offered him your marshmallows. The way he hesitated, and flinched when you tapped the counter, the way his eyes lingered on your gloves.
You thought about how he didn’t look at you again after that, and it made your throat tighten slightly.
Not because you were offended…But because it hurt.
Because there was something about Bob Reynolds that made your chest ache in ways you didn’t know how to soothe. Something about his silence–gentle, tentative, never invasive–that made you feel seen even when you couldn’t be touched. And the worst part was knowing that he wanted to. Not just physically. Not just a hand on your wrist or a brush of fingers. But all of it. The closeness. The company. The conversation that didn’t come laced with protocols.
That’s why you tried to build walls around you as much as possible…Because you knew Bob would never try to scale them. He respected you too much to ignore the rules. Yet you still found yourself thinking that one day he would try to cross the line.
”That’s fine.” You said. It came out even, and controlled, but inside you were anything but.
Bucky gave you a small nod and marked it down with the click of his pen. The others went back to their tasks, but your fingers were stiff against your lap–your gloves creasing every so faintly from how tightly you were gripping the paper.
You left the room not long after, and nobody stopped you.
————-
The next morning came quickly.
Your bag was already packed, and your car was fully prepared for the ride up. You had checked yourself–the gas tank was full, the heat was working, and the backseat was empty. You even shifted the passenger seat back to accommodate Bob’s knees so he didn’t slam them into the glove compartment when he stepped in.
The sky was still a dull blue-gray when you stepped outside, and you could see your breath puffing out in front of you in soft white clouds. The compound behind you was buzzing faintly with the chaos of people double-checking their bags and fighting over seat assignment, but out here in the quietness of the early morning, it almost felt peaceful.
You stood by your car, leaning against the driver’s side door, gloved fingers curled around your thermos. You took slow sips of your coffee–not because you needed it, but because the warmth gave you something to focus on–a distraction from the impending drive. It was only going to be three hours, but you could tell it would be the longest three hours you had ever experienced.
Each passing second was a breath you didn’t want to admit you were holding. Part of you hoped Bob wouldn’t show up–that he would decide last-minute to ride in the van instead and send someone else, to spare you both the awkwardness of being locked in such a small space with nothing but music, the road, and the weight of every unspoken thing between you.
But the other part of you–the one buried deep beneath layers of self-preservation and fear–hoped he would. Hoped he would sit in your passenger seat and glance over at you, and maybe this time…He wouldn’t look away.
The front doors of the compound hissed open.
You didn’t have to look to know it was him. You felt it. The shift. That subtle pressure in your chest like gravity had tilted slightly in his direction. You turned your head just enough to catch him walking across the lot, backpack slung low over his shoulder and a tupperware container cradled in his arms. His hoodie was pulled over his head, and his coat was zipped all the way up, making him look smaller than usual despite the broadness of his shoulders.
He spotted you and slowed.
Bob always slowed when he saw you. Like he needed an extra second to brace himself.
He adjusted the container in his grip and gave a shy, uncertain wave. You lifted your thermos in return.
”Morning,” You said quietly.
”Morning,” He echoed, voice hoarse like he hadn’t spoken to anyone yet today, “I uh…I brought that banana bread that I made yesterday evening. It’s not…I mean. It’s not good, but Yelena tried it last night and didn’t die, so…” You let out a small breath, as a smirk slowly tugged up on your lips.
”Low bar, but I guess it’ll do.” That made him laugh a bit, like he was a little embarrassed, but it was something. He moved towards the passenger door, shifting from foot to foot. You reached into your pocket, clicked the fob and unlocked the doors.
”I adjusted the seat already for you,” You mentioned, opening your own door, slipping in and putting your thermos into the cup holder, while he did the same on his side, “Didn’t want you cramped the whole drive.” You added, when he was able to hear you.
”Oh…Uh…Thanks.” He said after a beat, sliding his backpack off his shoulder, before easing himself into the seat beside you, and shutting the door. The quiet that followed wasn’t uncomfortable, but it settled between you like mist–thick with things that neither of you wanted to say to one another. You didn’t look at him right away. You focused on adjusting the heat, on clicking your seatbelt into place, on the scrape of your thermos as you nudged it deeper into the cup holder. Anything to keep your hands busy.
But the air had already changed.
The moment he sat down, you could feel it. The warmth of his body chased out the cold that had lingered in the space all morning. He smelled like laundry soap and something sweet–vanilla, maybe. Cinnamon. The faintest trace of sleep still clung to him, and something about that undid you a little. He had clearly just rolled out of bed, eyes still rimmed with the softness of sleep, his hair slightly mussed beneath his hood.
And worse–there was a part of you that wanted to lean closer, just to breathe him in.
Bob didn’t move much, but you could feel the tension radiating off him. His shoulders were rigid, like he was afraid to take up too much space. His hands stayed clasped around the tupperware in his lap, like he needed something to hold onto–some anchor to keep him from saying something he shouldn’t. Like, I dreamt about you again last night. Like, You touched my face and nothing happened. Like, I don’t know how to sit next to you now without wanting things I can’t ask for.
“Did you sleep well?” You asked quietly, putting the car in drive, almost like you were asking for him to tell him about what he had been dreaming about, “I heard you mention to Yelena that you weren’t feeling too well.” Bob looked over at you fast, like he hadn’t expected you to say anything to him for the drive. He was thankful that the hoodie over his head hid his flushed ears, but his face wasn’t shielded from your gaze, and you could see the way the red creeped up on his cheeks.
”Uh…Yeah. Yeah I slept well…Feeling much better.” You nodded once, lips pressing together in a way that wasn’t quite a smile, nor a frown. You didn’t believe him, not fully at least. His voice was too soft, and too careful, like he was picking his words carefully. And maybe that’s what hurt you the most–how gentle he was even when he was lying.
“Oh. Good.” You said simply, eyes fixated on the road ahead as you pressed on the gas, pulling out of the parking lot. Bob sank into the passenger seat, still tasting the ghost of your name on his tongue from the dream he’d barely left behind.
The field had been brighter last night. You laughed at something he said. The kind of laugh that made him feel like the world wasn’t so sharp anymore. Like maybe it didn’t hurt to breathe when you were near. You’d touched his face in the dream–cupped his cheek like he was breakable and safe all at once–and he’d felt it linger long after his eyes opened. He was surprised you didn’t notice how red his eyes were from crying, but then again why would you be concerned with that.
Now he sat here, beside the real you, and he couldn’t even meet your eyes for more than a second.
You glanced at him, catching the way he clutched the tupperware container like it was the only thing anchoring him to the moment, the way he fiddled with the edges, the nervous twitching he always did that you couldn’t help but notice. It was one of his many tells that something was bothering him, but you didn’t push, your eyes just returned to what was in front of you.
The highway stretched ahead like a ribbon of grey silk, unraveling beneath your tires. The sun hadn’t quite risen yet, and the pale light bleeding through the windshield was casting a bluish tint over Bob’s face. You kept your eyes on the road, but you could feel his presence like heat on your skin.
“You really didn’t have to bring anything,” You murmured after a stretch of quiet, nodding toward the banana bread.
Bob looked over at you quickly, then back down at the container like it had surprised him to still be there. “I… I just thought it might be nice. For the cabin. It’s dumb, but I—uh—sometimes baking helps when I can’t sleep.”
Your grip on the wheel tightened slightly. “It’s not dumb to want to do something nice…I wasn’t saying it to be…Cold or anything. It’s just a nice thing to do.”
He looked at you then. Really looked. Just for a moment. And for the first time in what felt like ages, you looked at him.
A breath passed between you. Heavy. Loaded.
But it didn’t last. Bob glanced back down at the container again and shifted in his seat. The tension in his shoulders softened marginally, and you could tell the lull of the ride was beginning to get to him. The rhythm of the road, the warmth of the heater. You caught the slow, unconscious twitch of his fingers against the plastic lid before he rested the tupperware gently on the floor by his feet and leaned his head back against the headrest.
“I think…I’m going to close my eyes for a bit,” He said, voice barely above a whisper.
“Are you alright?” You asked, concerned about the sudden change in his demeanor.
“Yeah…J-Just tired.” He murmured, his lashes fluttering once before settling. You didn’t push. You didn’t ask if he was sure. You just adjusted the heat a little higher and turned the radio down low, giving him the space he always gave you.
The car fell into a soft hush, broken only by the low hum of the engine and the distant thump of tires over uneven pavement. Bob’s breathing slowed next to you. Gradually. Unevenly at first. Then steadily.
And then it was silent.
Until.
“…Y/N.”
Your name. Whispered like a secret. Like a prayer.
It wasn’t loud, but it wasn’t quiet either. Just clear enough to freeze your hands on the wheel.
You glanced over at him, and his face was tilted toward you now, not fully, but just enough to expose the vulnerability in his features. His brows were drawn slightly together, lips parted, and the softest tremble lingered on the edge of them–like he was mid-sentence in a conversation he couldn’t have while awake.
“…M-Miss y-you.” You didn’t mean to slam on the brakes.
Technically you didn’t–but your foot did twitch hard enough on the pedal to make the car lurch slightly, just enough that your coffee sloshed in the cupholder and Bob stirred in the passenger seat with a soft grunt. But he didn’t wake–not fully. He just shifted his head slightly against the seat, curling further toward the door like he was bracing himself for something, the way someone does when they expect to wake up heartbroken.
You stared at him for a long, stunned second. Your fingers had gone numb around the wheel. You weren’t even sure you were breathing. All you knew was you had to pull over to try and regain some sense of stability before continuing, because your thoughts were derailing and spinning out of control.
You pulled off to the shoulder as smoothly as you could, but your hands were trembling too much to hide it. The car dipped slightly as it slowed to a crawl, the crunch of gravel beneath your tires filling the sudden silence now that the radio had gone quiet. You didn’t turn the engine off. You didn’t unbuckle your seatbelt. You just sat there, staring at your own reflection in the faint gleam of the windshield, breathing like someone who’d just run a marathon.
Bob shifted again beside you in his sleep, brow creasing like he was trying to hold onto something—some fragile thread of whatever dream he was caught inside. But all you could hear was your name, still echoing softly in the air between you.
Y/N.
Miss you.
Your throat tightened so hard it hurt.
Because no one missed you. Not like that.
You didn’t let them.
You couldn’t.
Not when the cost of closeness was something you couldn’t afford. One wrong brush of skin, one slip in control, one heartbeat too fast, one lapse of judgment–and everything you cared about could shatter. You had spent years learning how to exist at arm’s length, how to keep every tender instinct buried beneath gloves, sleeves, distance, and detachment. You had become an expert at denial. At convincing yourself that loneliness was better than guilt.
But Bob Reynolds–quiet, sweet, trembling Bob–was dreaming about you like you were something he had lost. Like he’d had you once. Touched you once. Held you once.
And the worst part? You believed him.
Because deep in your bones, somewhere beneath the power that was humming like electricity in your bloodstream, you felt it. That dream wasn’t just a dream. You knew what it felt like when someone’s subconscious pressed into your atmosphere–when they wanted you so badly that even your powers couldn’t keep them out. And if he’d been dreaming of you enough, if he’d carried that version of you with him night after night…There was a chance his dreams had reached into yours too.
That would explain the phantom warmth you sometimes woke up with. The laughter you’d hear in your sleep and never understand. The way your chest had started to ache when he walked into a room.
“Oh my god…” You breathed, so softly it barely counted as sound.
Your gloved hand hovered, trembling slightly, before you set it down in your lap again. You couldn’t reach out. You wouldn’t. But your heart was thudding so violently in your chest now that you could feel it behind your eyes.
You turned to look at him again.
His lashes were still down, mouth parted slightly in sleep, but the edges of his expression were laced with pain. It wasn’t rest he was getting–it was longing. A quiet, desperate kind. And if you listened carefully, you could hear the tiniest whisper leave his mouth again–like a plea caught in the middle of a storm.
“…Don’t go…Please d-don’t go.”
And your heart broke into a million pieces, because as much as you wanted to reach out to comfort him, there would be no use. It would only draw you in deeper, and somehow you would end up losing him, and that was something you couldn’t risk, something you wouldn’t risk. Bob was part of your constant whether you liked it or not, but you couldn’t be what he needed, or what he wanted, not with the powers you held, and you knew that right from the start.
You just didn’t realize how hard it would be to suppress everything and bury it, but now was just the beginning of the pain.
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neimaami · 4 months ago
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6 AM (M)
SYNOPSIS: Jungkook wakes you up at 6AM for more than just morning cuddles
WARNINGS : SMUT, protected sex, dirty talk, mention of oral sex (f), rough sex, missionary, Jk kind of a freak, soft kook, first time writing smut! (constructive criticism is very much condoned), established relationship, spit kink, eye-contact kink (is that a thing?)
word count: 4.0k
─── ・ 。゚☆: .☽ . :☆゚. ───
If Jeonguk wasn’t the love of your life, you swear you would have killed him. 
If there is one thing you hate more in this world than rude, snobby rich kids, it’s being woken up in the crack ass of dawn. Seriously, your alarm hadn’t even gone off yet—that’s supposed to be an obvious universal sign for “wake me up, and I’ll end you.” But Jeonguk? He thrives on pushing your limits, of testing your patience to heights no one has ever dared to cross. If you had known moving in with Jeonguk would result in sleepless nights and early awakenings, you would have reconsidered. 
“Stop.” A sleepy mumble escapes your lips, your voice sounding ragged and throat raspy - your eyes remaining closed in your half-asleep state. The persistent finger poking against your cheek over and over again only served to agitate you even further as it dragged you back to reality from the comfort of dreamland. “Guk seriously…” An exasperated sigh fell from your lips as you lazily raised an arm to swat his hand away. 
A deep, throaty chuckle escaped him, sending shivers down your spine. You inwardly curse your body for the way it reacts to the sound of his voice. Your nipples harden embarrassingly against the thin fabric of your tank top. The wooden bed creaks softly as you shift, turning your back to him, refusing to give him the satisfaction of seeing the reaction he effortlessly draws from your body. The white sheets of your shared comforter were a wrinkled mess that reached just below your knees - it had been a warm, sticky night that left you both no choice but to kick the sheets off your bodies. 
“What’s wrong, baby?” The smug tone in his voice was apparent as you felt the bed dip even further, his chest now pressing against your back. He leaned down, mouth inches away from the shell of your ear, his breath fanning over your skin, sending yet another wave of shivers down your spine. “Did I wake you up?” He whispered, the corner of his lip curling into a smirk.
The pillow beneath your head bunches as your fingers tighten around the fabric, gripping it in your palm. “Don’t act innocent, you know for a fact you woke me up on purpose with your constant poking.” You turn your body even further away from him in retaliation. 
You heard a scoff falling from his lips. “It’s not my fault your lazy ass takes ages to wake up.” You felt his hand coming down to rest on your bare hip from where your tank top had ridden up. Leaning down, his lips dragged softly against the back of your neck. 
“No one else in the world wakes up at 6 AM on a weekend but you, Guk.” You shot back, which only earns you a snort from him. He trails soft kisses up the side of your neck, a light featherly touch that has you craving for more. 
“Who said anything about 6AM?” He presses one last kiss against your flushed cheek before pulling back. “I knew you had no sense of time, but this is just a whole new level.” He smiled that stupid smug grin of his that made you want to do nothing else but wipe it off. 
“What are you talking about?” You grumble in annoyance, not bothering to open your eyes. This was one of the rare mornings you didn’t have to drag yourself out of bed for your dreaded university lectures. Not to mention, the campus itself was a nightmare to navigate—always loud and irritating. Especially in the mornings, when all you wanted to do was to sink back into the  comfort of your warm bed.
“It’s 4PM, baby” His voice lowered to a soft rumble. Your eyes snap open. Yes you were lazy, yes you loved sleeping above anything else, but you hated being unproductive, of feeling as if you wasted an entire day lazing around in bed. As fast as lightning you’re sitting up, causing the wooden bed to creak under your added pressure. Jungkook could only smile in amusement from beside you, no doubt taking in your disheveled appearance - hair a mess, clothes wrinkled, eyes puffy from sleep. 
“Why didn’t you wake me up sooner!” You whine, reaching out for your phone on the nightstand, eyes taking a moment to adjust to the screen. The bold letters ‘6:15AM’ flash on the homescreen of your phone. Your mind dawns in realization, your head snaps towards Jungkook who lays against the wooden headboard smugly. His arms resting behind his head, sheets pooling against his waist - leaving his toned chest and delicious abs to view. If you weren’t so irritated you would have jumped his bones no doubt.
“Oh whoops, I must’ve read the time wrong.” He shrugged as if it were no big deal. You launched yourself onto him in an instant, causing him to let out a ‘yelp’ in surprise. You knew his weakness, knew it like the back of your hand - tickles. It was a very effective method if you do say so yourself. 
He let out a strained, breathless laugh as your fingers mercilessly danced against the sides of his bare torso, the bed thrashed and creaked from the movements of his attempts at escape. “Stop, Stop, I’m sorry!” He chanted as he tried to get ahold of your wrists. Through many months of perfecting Jungkook’s weakness, you had become quite the expert on dodging his attempts to stop your tickling. 
“This is what you get!” Your eyes crinkled at the corners, a wide smile you made no effort to hide, appearing on your lips. To get a better angle, you swung a leg over his torso, successfully straddling his hips, your fingers never haltering their torturous movements against the sides of his ribs. He was laughing so hard you could see a vein popping out from the side of his neck from the strain. “Now you’ll know to never disrupt my sleep!” 
In a moment of distraction, he got a hold of your wrists, turning the both of you around in an instant. You let out an ‘oof’ sound as your back hit the mattress with more force than he had probably intended. The grip of his hands on your wrists only tightened as he forced them above your head, keeping them steady against the pillow. 
“Woah, whoah, whoa there, calm down pretty lady” His voice came out in a breathless chuckle, you felt a pang of pride in your chest for reducing him to such a state - even if it was just from a tickle attack. 
“Shut up Jungkook, you lied to me and made me miss on my precious and very much needed beauty sleep!” you ramble, struggling against his hold as he tightened his hands around your wrists.
“I had to get you up somehow, knowing you, nothing else would have worked.” He leaned down to start pressing open-mouthed kisses to the side of your neck, his warm tongue darting out to taste your skin. The feeling made you shiver against him.
“T-that’s not an excuse!” You weakly argue, feeling the way his bare chest pressed you down against the mattress even further. His mouth continued its assault on your senses, trailing up further against the side of your neck before his breath fanned against the shell of your ear.
“Shhh” He whispered, his hand coming up to cup one of your breasts in his warm hand, thumb brushing over one of your hard nipples and feeling it pebble even further. A small gasp escapes your lips as he starts to grind his very clear and persistent bulge against your clothed core. 
You can’t help but scoff “I can’t believe my tickles got you horny…they were supposed to be the ultimate weapon again-” Your voice was cut short when his lips pressed against yours in a sudden frenzied kiss. They were warm and soft as they moved in accordance with yours. His teeth sunk down against your bottom lip, to which you gasp at the feeling. He took the opportunity to slide his tongue into the wet cavern of your mouth, tongue intertwining with yours. 
“Guk…” You moan softly against his lips, your legs parting instinctively to feel the straining erection pressing directly against your clothed clit. You let out a breathless moan, bucking your hips up towards his, grinding yourself against him in hopes of finding much needed friction. He groaned against your lips, pushing his own hips against yours. The both of you gasp at the feeling. He pulled away from the kiss with your bottom lip caught between his teeth. He watches as it falls back into place when he lets go. He leans down to pepper kisses over your collarbone. 
You let out a strangled moan when he hooks a finger to the hem of your tank top and raises it up enough to reveal your bare breasts to his gaze, your already hardened nipples exposed to the warm air of the room. It was still early morning, the birds chirped outside and the hallways of the apartment were quiet. He wastes no time in leaning down and taking one of your rosy peaks into his mouth, his tongue lavishing over the sensitive peak, teeth grazing against your skin. “Jungkook!” Your back arches off the mattress of the bed, your hips grinding sloppily against his even faster. “P-please” You whimper, hands Intertwining between his brown locks.
He released your nipple with a soft ‘pop’ watching attentively as the skin around it reddens from his ministrations. “Please what, baby?” He mumbles lazily, leaning down to dart his tongue out and flicking it against the nub. Your toes curl into the mattress as his other hand comes up to tug and twist at your other nipple. 
“P-Please…I need you” You gasp in pleasure, in other circumstances you would’ve felt embarrassed as you felt his smirk against the valley of your breasts - but not today, not when you were this horny, not when he manages to reduce you to such a state. 
He looks up at you through hooded eyes. He shakes his head, his thumb and pointer finger pinches and tugs at your nipple even harder, causing you to whimper. “Need what? Use your words, princess. I’m not a fucking mind reader” You shiver at the authoritative tone in his voice, under other conditions you would have slapped his head upside down if he talked to you that way - today you relished in it. 
“M-mouth” your words were choppy, hoping to get away with saying the minimal possible thing. Your cheeks were already burning in embarrassment and lust. Jungkook shook his head once more, the smirk that once adorned his face was replaced by a deep scowl. 
“Are you trying to get on my nerves?” With narrowed eyes he drank in your rosy cheeks and the way your mouth was slightly parted. He sat back on his haunches, eyes trailing down the expanse of your body as he rested his hands on your hips, his thumb stroking the skin underneath the waistband of your pyjama shorts. “I’ll ask you one more time. What do you want? Tell what it is you need from me, baby”
“I need your mouth! your tongue, cock, anything!” You gasp out in desperation, only serving to deepen the red on your cheeks. You could see the way a triumphant, smug, grin broke out on his face. He wasted no time gripping the waistband of your shorts and tugging them down and off your legs - the fabric falling carelessly onto the floor. 
“Such a good girl” He cooed, leaning in to press a deep, filthy kiss against your lips - all tongue and spit. His fingers reached down between your legs to graze dangerously low on your inner thigh. Your moans were muffled by his lips against yours before he broke the kiss.
“Stop teasing me” You buck your hips up, breath catching in your throat as he shifts his thigh to rest between your legs. The added pressure to your clothed clit fueled your desires even further, hips grinding against the straining muscle with no ounce of shame. He flexed the muscle of his thigh, watching transfixed as you pleasured yourself.
“Fuck baby, look at you” He slurred with lust, his eyes darkening at the sight “So wet and needy” He chuckled when he saw a wet spot forming onto his grey sweatpants. He removed his thigh from between your legs, causing you to whine in annoyance - your protest doesn’t last long as he hooks a finger to the waistband of your soaked panties and tugs them all the way down your legs. 
He lets out a low whistle at the sight, reaching down to grip the back of your thighs and parting your legs to reveal your soaked puffy folds. You prop up on your forearms as he adjusts his head between your legs, guiding your thighs to rest over his shoulders. “So fucking wet…” His breath fanned over your glistening folds causing your hands to fist the sheets beneath you.
“Oh kookie…” You whimper softly, your eyebrows furrowed and lips parted as you watched his every movement in anticipation. He brought one of his fingers to slide up your slit, gathering the wetness onto his digit. He parts your wet folds with his pointer and middle finger, groaning at the sight before him as he eyes your pussy like a starved man. He leaned in to take a deep, eye-rolling sniff at your pussy. Your cheeks burst into literal flames. “That’s so dirty…” You whisper, biting your lip.
“What is?” He raised a brow, his hooded eyes landing on yours as he lifted his head up slightly. “Can’t a guy appreciate his woman’s pussy? Especially if it’s as sexy as yours, pink and wet…and oh so fucking deliscious…” 
He leans in and licks a bold, wet strip against your folds from your entrance all the way up your clit. You gasp at the sensation, your hand shooting out to grip his hair. He hums against your pussy, eyes closing in concentration as his tongue lavishes against your folds. You could only throw your head back in ecstasy, your mind hazy and eyes blurry. When he plops off your pussy, you furrow your eyebrows in confusion and slight annoyance. That is, until you see him gather saliva into his mouth, eyes locked on yours as he spits onto your folds.
Your mouth fell open at his action, feeling even more turned on. You buck your hips up against his mouth, curling your toes as his lips circled around your clit and gave the bundle of nerves a hard suck. Your body fell limp against the mattress. The room filled with the lewd sounds of his mouth against your wet folds. “M-more” You whimper as you felt the tip of his middle finger circle against your entrance, he then released your clit with a ‘pop’
“Look at me.” His voice booms against the walls of the fairly quiet bedroom. Your eyes snap to his at his command, biting your lip as his finger slips all the way inside you. “If you look away I’ll stop.” He promised, slowly thrusting his finger in and out of your velvety walls. Leaning down, his nose nuzzled against your clit as his tongue drew shapes against your slit, oozing out more wetness from you. 
“Oh guk…” You moan, as you tug at his hair, bucking your hips up against his fingers as he adds a second, then a third. His eyes remained locked on yours at all times, hooded and filled with unmistaken lust. “I love the way you look at me.” You say breathlessly, tightening your thighs around his head. He hums against your folds, his tongue darting out to flick against your clit before taking it into his mouth and sucking harshly onto the nub, his teeth grazing against the sensitive area. His fingers curl inside you, finding that spongey, soft area where he begins to concentrate all his efforts on, his fingers thrusting against it over and over again until you’re a moaning mess beneath him. 
“Fuck! Right there…oh Guk, don’t stop!” You moan repeatedly with no real consciousness of what you were saying - too far gone for coherent thoughts. His fingers set a fast, rough pace, causing the room to echo with the sounds of your wetness, meanwhile his mouth sucks harshly against your clit. It was more than enough to push you over the edge, your thighs trembling between his head as your orgasm washed over you. 
“Oh my god-” You choke out, your eyes rolling back in your head, hips bucking frantically against his face, riding out your mind-blowing orgasm. You fall limp against the mattress when the feeling starts to subside. Jungkook releases your clit with a last suck and slowly extracts his fingers from your soaked pussy. He brings his fingers coated with your arousal into his mouth, tongue darting out for a taste. Your cheeks burn at the sight of him humming in pleasure. 
“So deliscious…sweetest pussy ever.” His voice was thick and laced with lust, smiling down at you as he leans down to brace his forearms on either side of your head. He captures your lips with his, humming when you taste yourself on his tongue. One of his hands disappears into the waistband of his sweatpants, taking out his painfully hard cock from the confines of his boxers. Breaking the kiss, your mouth salivates at the sight, thick droplets of pre-cum sliding down his cock from the slit at the tip of his puffy cockhead. “Eyes on me.”
Your eyes snap back to him as he slowly gives his cock a couple of lazy strokes. “C-condom…” You remind him when you feel the tip of his cock slide against your folds to collect your wetness. You can feel him groan in annoyance at your reminder, a petulant pout forming on his lips. It amazed you how quick he could go from a sexy, dominant man to a cute, doe-eyed boy. 
“I thought you were on birth control.” He says as he continues to rub his cock against your slick folds - your breath coming out slightly ragged.
“I am…but you know it’s not 100% effective, it’s better safe than sorry.” You reach out towards the night stand and fish blindly for the half-empty box of condoms. It was standard procedure at this point as he takes the condom from your hand with much reluctance. 
“This is stupid…” He complains as he rips the packet open with his fingers, grabbing the rubber and placing it against his cock, rolling out the material so it fits snugly against his hard cock. He hissed at the feeling. “I hate wearing this shit” 
Before you could educate him on the importance of protection, his cock was already nudging instantly against your entrance. “Please don’t talk. It’ll ruin the mood.” you would’ve gotten offended if it weren’t for the delicious stretch of his cock sliding inside you, inch by torturous inch. You whimper at the feeling, reaching out to press his chest against yours, your legs wrapping around his waist. You both moan in unison. Your back arches as he easily slides the rest of the way inside you, his hips resting snuggly against yours.
“Shit” He curses under his breath, leaning down to bury his face in the crook of your neck. You could only whimper at the feeling of being so utterly full, stretched out by the man on top of you - your Jungkook. “You feel so fucking good…” He slurs with lust, his mouth trailing open-mouthed kisses against the side of your neck.
“P-please move kook…” At your breathy whisper Jungkook shudders, hips pulling back just enough to leave the tip inside you before slamming back down against you. The both of you let out a strangled moan at the feeling. He sets a fast, rough pace, his cock sliding in and out of you at a steady rhythm, one that has the whole bed rocking and headboard slamming against the wall.
“That’s it…take my cock…” He throws his head back in a prolonged, deep groan, his eyes shuddering closed. You were a whimpering mess beneath him, your tits bouncing with each harsh thrust - feeling every inch of his hard cock inside you. He grips the back of your thighs and presses them down towards your chest, folding you nearly in half. This allows his cock to find that perfect spot inside you. His cock pounds into you even harder as he sits back on his haunches, using his thigh muscles to help thrust even deeper inside you, the tip of his cock kissing your g-spot over and over again.
You were a babbling mess beneath him, making no coherent sentences and letting out drawled out moans that had Jungkook hypnotised. He re-doubled his efforts, slamming into you with renowned vigour. He leaned down to catch one of your bouncing tits into his mouth. The feeling of his lips around your sensitive nipple was enough to leave you in a stuttering mess.
He plops off your nipple and leans down to press his forehead against yours, his hips never faltering their rhythm as his eyes bore into yours. “ohhh my- god,” you cry, he was fucking you so good it was turning your brain into mush. He opens his mouth to let a droplet of his sticky spit land against your cheek.
“hnngh…love this pussy” He slurs incoherently, throwing his head back once more as his rhythm starts to become sloppy and uncoordinated. With a last shuddering whimper, the second orgasm of the morning washed over you. Your whole body convulsing as you drag your nails down the expanse of his back, his name falling from your lips in a never ending mantra. 
It didn’t take much long after that Jungkook was spilling himself into the condom, your name falling from his lips in a deep rumble. His thrusts were shallow and slow, riding out both your orgasms. He released his grip on your thighs and gently cradled your body against his chest. His weight pushed you against the mattress as his cock softened inside you.
“Holy shit” He panted against the side of your neck “I should wake you up at 6AM everyday if this is the type of sex we’ll have.” That earns him a pinch to the side by your fingers, he yelps at the feeling, reaching out to hold your hand in his. “Hey, no need to get violent…I was only joking…” The feeling of his lips curling into a smirk had you thinking otherwise. 
You roll your eyes and slowly turn your head to capture his gaze with yours. “As much as I’m enjoying this moment, I really, really need to pee.”
He lets out an incredulous scoff “Hold it in. I need affection and love, woman” He nuzzled his nose onto the side of your neck once again.
“Baby please, I’m dying here!” You wiggled in discomfort, already feeling the pressure in your lower abdomen, you hadn’t peed all night, it was only fair that he let you now. With a drawn out sigh he starts to slide his softening cock out of you, hissing as it makes contact with the cool air of the room. He collapsed next to you on the bed. You quickly slide out off the mattress and pad towards the bathroom. 
Jungkook can’t help but marvel at the sight of your bare body, the way your ass bounced with each step you took. He could already feel his cock starting to harden at the sight. “Fuck…hurry up babe! We’re far from done.”
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rynwrites4fun · 2 months ago
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Across The Hall | Michael Robinavitch x Neighbor/Teacher ! Reader
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Michael Robinavitch x F! Neighbor/Teacher ! Reader
Summary: You’ve lived across from Michael "Robby" Robinavitch, an ER doctor, for a year. Your interactions have always been brief—polite smiles and small talk in the elevator. In your own relationship, you often feel invisible, reaching out for someone who never quite reciprocates. One evening, after your boyfriend flakes on you and leaves you feeling disappointed, Michael unexpectedly steps in, offering a kind gesture that turns the night around. What starts as an act of casual kindness begins to shift into something deeper, and you start to realize that Michael’s quiet presence might be exactly what you’ve been missing.
Word Count: 4912
Warnings: age gap (mid 20's /early 50's)
Author’s Note: i realized i should write a Robby fic so here we are. it’s prob not a good idea for me start writing a new fic when I got eyes on me going….well, the more the merrier. - ryn
Friday, 6:30am
The apartment building was still—quiet, not yet alive with the usual hum of waking bodies and the shuffle of morning routines. You were getting ready to leave for work, just before seven, as always. Being an elementary teacher meant early mornings and coffee-fueled commutes. These few quiet moments of the morning felt like the only part of the day that truly belonged to you.
In the kitchen, the comforting scent of freshly brewed coffee filled the air as you packed your lunch for the day. Your hands moved with practiced ease—turkey sandwich, fruit, a granola bar—a well-worn rhythm. The morning light spilled through the window, soft and golden, casting long shadows across the countertop where your phone sat, still and silent.
No messages.
Not unexpected.
With one hand, you reached for the spinach to finish your sandwich; with the other, you unlocked your phone and opened your messages. For a second, your reflection flickered on the dark screen—eyes a little tired, but hopeful. Always hopeful.
You typed slowly, carefully, like the words mattered more today.
Good morning Hope you slept okay. Just a reminder—we’ve got date night tonight. 7pm at that Italian place you like. I’m looking forward to it. Love you.
You hit send and watched as the message slid into the thread beneath a row of older ones, mostly from you. Then you set the phone down, turning back to the sandwich as you slid it into your lunch bag.
Your boyfriend, Aiden, is always busy. Always working late, always on his phone, always somewhere else—even when he’s right beside you. You sit across from him at dinner, trying to talk, trying to connect, but he only half-listens, nodding at his screen more than at your words.
You feel lonely. Not the kind of loneliness that comes from being alone, but the kind that fills the space between you. The kind that grows in unanswered questions, in the way he forgets things that matter to you. You don’t say it out loud. Instead, you try harder. You show love in the small ways you hope he’ll notice—in making his coffee just right, in folding his clothes the way he likes, in letting your own needs take a backseat to his.
You never beg for love—not with words. But your actions speak louder. You’re always giving, always waiting, always hoping that this time it’ll be enough. That this time, he’ll see you, hear you, choose you.
You take whatever scraps of attention he offers. A distracted “love you,” a tired hand on your back, a night where he actually looks at you instead of his phone. You convince yourself it’s something. That it means he cares. That if you just keep being patient, things will change.
And still—despite it all—you love him. Your heart hasn’t hardened. It’s still open, still warm. You still believe in love, in connection, in the possibility that he might one day meet you halfway. Because even when your needs go unmet, you somehow still have more to give.
So, you keep softening. Keep adjusting. Keep waiting.
You grab your things and head out the door. You stepped into the hallway at the same time as your neighbor.
Michael Robinavitch. He also went by Robby, a casual nickname for a last name with too many syllables for everyday use. You, however, always called him Michael.
You’d lived next door to him for about a year now. The two of you were acquainted—small talk in passing, a nod here and there, the occasional conversation while waiting for the elevator—but never more than that. Not quite strangers, not quite friends.
You knew he was one of the attending physicians in the ER at the local hospital. He mostly worked day shifts, though every now and then, you’d catch him coming home late at night, shoulders sagging with exhaustion. He had kind eyes—the kind that made people feel safe—even when the rest of him stayed closed off. Always polite. Always distant.
He was at least a decade older than you—maybe more—but carried himself with a quiet confidence that made age feel irrelevant. There was something steady about him, something grounded in the way he moved, in the calm cadence of his voice when he did speak. You’d noticed, even if you never said so.
“Morning,” he said with a quick smile as he locked his door.
He was dressed as he usually was on workdays: a fitted white shirt under a black scrub top, blue hoodie zipped halfway up, medical cargo pants. A backpack slung over one shoulder, a coffee tumbler balanced in one hand. Sunglasses perched on his head. AirPods tucked into his ears—though he always popped one out to say hello.
“Hi, good morning!” you replied, cheerful as ever, juggling your bag, your water bottle, and a lunchbox covered in cartoon stickers from your students.
The two of you walked toward the elevator in silence, a quiet routine that had somehow become familiar. You’d grown used to these brief encounters—fleeting, but oddly comforting.
He smelled faintly of soap and coffee, a clean, grounded scent that stood in contrast to the overwhelming cologne your boyfriend always wore. You glanced at Michael from the corner of your eye. He looked tired, like he usually did this early—but present. Alert. He was always present.
You, by contrast, were all warmth and energy, a splash of color next to his quiet gray. Still hopeful. Still full of brightness. You were in your fourth year of teaching, and though the days were long, your spark hadn’t dimmed. Not yet.
He’d noticed, even if he never said so. Just like you’d noticed the way he moved through the world—weathered, maybe, but not hardened. Tired, but kind.
The elevator chimed, and the doors slid open with their familiar hum. He let you step inside first—like he always did when you caught each other leaving at the same time. He even holds the lobby door for you. One thing you liked about him: he was a gentleman.
The silence between you wasn’t awkward anymore. It had settled into something easy. Comfortable.
He leaned back against the wall, arms crossed loosely. You glanced at him—just briefly. His face was unreadable, but not unkind. There was something steady about him, even in stillness. Like the eye of a storm.
“I’m glad it’s Friday,” you said, breaking the quiet. “This week’s been exhausting.” You let out a breathy chuckle—more air than sound. It floated in the space between you like a fragile thread.
Michael didn’t laugh, but the corner of his mouth lifted—barely there, but real. That was usually all you got from him, and somehow, it always felt like enough. Like you’d earned it.
He shifted his weight, glanced at you sideways, like he was debating saying something. Then: “Yeah. Long week.”
You nodded, eyes forward now, watching the elevator numbers light up one by one. The silence returned, but it felt warmer this time. Companionable.
“Big weekend plans?” he asked suddenly, his voice low and a little rough, like it hadn’t quite shaken off sleep.
You smiled, surprised he’d initiated the conversation. “Just sleeping. Maybe grading. Depends on how ambitious I feel.” You tilted your head toward him. “You?”
He shook his head. “Same. Resting if I can.”
You nodded, a smile tugging at your lips. “Well… here’s to restful weekends.” 
Michael gaze lingered on you a second longer than it needed to. Then he gave a slow nod. “Yeah. Here’s hoping.”
Then, on a whim, you added, “Actually, I do have one thing planned tonight—dinner with my boyfriend. We’re going to that Italian place down the street.”
You couldn’t help the smile that spread across your face. Just saying it out loud made your heart flutter a bit. “It’s this cozy spot—Bella Notte. You’ve probably walked past it a hundred times without noticing. Candlelight tables, soft music, the whole thing smells like basil and fresh-baked bread the second you walk in—”
You paused, eyes lighting up. “Their pasta is insane. Like, handmade that morning. I’ve honestly been dreaming about it all week.”
Your laugh was light, genuine. “And the dessert—don’t even get me started! They do this tiramisu, too—like, real tiramisu. Not the soggy kind. Light, fluffy, just enough espresso—“
You laughed a little, almost embarrassed at how carried away you got. “Anyway. Yeah. I’m excited… “It’s silly, I know.”
But it wasn’t silly. Not to Michael. He just nodded, tucking the image of your smile into the back of his mind.
His eyebrows lifted slightly in interest. “Sounds nice. Hope you guys enjoy it.”
Michael had seen your boyfriend around from time to time, but something was off. Michael noticed how your boyfriend seemed physically there but mentally elsewhere. He didn’t act like a boyfriend should—no warmth, no attentiveness. It was almost like he ignored you, as if you were an afterthought. That disconnect didn’t sit right with Michael, but he didn’t feel the need to comment on it. It wasn’t his place. 
“Thanks,” you replied, feeling hopeful tonight will be a good date night. You glanced at the elevator doors, feeling the weight of the conversation shift. “It’s been a while since we had a real night out. I’m looking forward to it.”
Michael’s gaze lingered on you a second longer than it needed to, then he gave a slow nod. “Yeah, sometimes you need those moments to… recalibrate, right?”
The elevator reached the ground floor, and He let you out first, heading toward the lobby doors. He held it open for you, like always. You thanked him.
“I’ll see you around,” Michael called over his shoulder pulling his sunglasses down onto his face as your paths began to part.
“Bye, have a nice day- you know, saving lives and all,” you replied, watching him walk down the street, his footsteps fading behind him.
He slowed, glanced back with a faint smirk. “You too—educating the youth. Lives of tomorrow and all that.”
You laughed under your breath. “Touché.”
His footsteps faded into the quiet, and you stepped out into the morning air. Something in your chest eased. The weight of the week had already begun to lift—just a little.
You got home from a long day at work, the noise and energy of your fifth graders still echoing faintly in your mind. During your lunch break, Aiden had finally texted you back—
Dinner’s on tonight. Can’t wait to see you. 
Just like that, your tiredness had been replaced with anticipation.
After a short rest, you got up and started getting ready. You took your time, letting yourself feel excited. You curled your hair, did your makeup just the way you liked it, and slipped into the dress you’d been saving for a night that felt special. And tonight felt like it could be—maybe even like the start of something real.
You headed outside and waited on the front steps of your apartment building, heart light, a small smile playing on your lips. He said he was on his way.
Minutes passed. Then more. You checked your phone once. Twice. The sky darkened slowly, and with it, your hope dimmed too.
You finally sat down, the concrete steps cool beneath you, heels tapping against the pavement as your nerves turned to unease.
Then your phone buzzed.
Sorry babe, something really important came up with the case. I can’t make it tonight. Rain check!
Your face dropped. The message was short, casual. Like it hadn’t just taken the air out of your lungs.
You stared at the screen, the words sinking in slowly. The butterflies in your stomach turned heavy, bitter. The excitement that had carried you through the day drained out of you all at once, replaced by a familiar, hollow ache. You blinked, willing the sting in your eyes to go away before anyone could see.
You took a steady breath and typed back:
It’s okay. Good luck with the case!
You hit send, then sit there a moment longer—makeup flawless, dress perfect, and heart suddenly a little more guarded than it had been an hour ago.
You looked down at yourself—at the dress you’d picked out, the soft curl in your hair, the subtle shimmer on your cheeks—and felt foolish. Not because you’d dressed up, but because you’d let yourself.
“Hey”
You looked up. Michael was walking toward the steps, his backpack slung over one shoulder, scrubs wrinkled from a long shift in the ER.
“Oh—hi,” you said, giving him a small smile.
He stopped a few steps down and took you in, his expression softening. “Wow,” he said. “You look… great.”
He smiled, taking in the way your dress caught the last of the light, the soft curl in your hair, the effort you’d put in. He always thought you looked beautiful—but tonight, there was something else in your eyes too. Something quieter. Sadder.
Because he could see it. The way your smile didn’t quite reach your eyes. The way your hands fidgeted with the fabric of your dress. You were trying to hide it—whatever had just happened—but Michael had spent enough time in triage to know what a broken heart looked like, even when it was wrapped in lip gloss and heels.
You smiled, a little tighter this time. “Thank you.”
Michael lingered there for a second, like he wasn’t sure whether to stay or keep walking, then shifted his backpack on his shoulder.
“Your boyfriend is coming?” He was wondering how long you’d been out here waiting for him. 
“No actually” you say standing up, dusting the back of your dress. “Change of plans—it’s looking like a night in instead” 
He flaked, Michael thought. You didn’t have to say it. He just knew, reading the situation. The way you’d said “change of plans”, the tightness around your eyes, the way you tried to brush it off with a smile—it was all the confirmation he needed.
Michael had seen this before. He’d seen the letdown in the way people hold themselves after plans fall apart, the quiet resignation that creeps in when you’ve been let down by someone who should have shown up.
But Michael didn’t say any of that. Instead, he just nodded, letting the silence stretch between you both for a moment.
He felt bad. You’d been genuinely excited about that Italian place—you’d rambled about it in the elevator that morning. The way you lit up as you described ambiance and food.
“You know,” Michael said after a moment, “when you were talking about that Italian restaurant earlier, I couldn’t stop thinking about it all day. I just got off my shift. Long day. I’m kind of too lazy to cook tonight, and I was thinking of picking some up and taking it home..”
…He trailed off, like he was giving you room to fill in the blank if you wanted to.
You looked at him—really looked. The quiet steadiness in his eyes, the way he didn’t push or pity, just stood there, offering a way out of the evening that didn’t involve you sitting alone in a dress you’d worn for someone who didn’t bother to show.
“…Do you wanna come? I’m not sure what to get—you seem to be a Bella Notte connoisseur,” he said, a playful lilt in his voice, but something gentler behind his eyes.
You blinked, caught off guard—not by the offer itself, but by the way he said it. Not like he was saving you. Not like you were someone to be pitied. Just… included.
For a moment, the words stuck in your throat. You’d been bracing for an evening of quietly peeling off your makeup, throwing the dress into a pile, eating something frozen while pretending it didn’t matter. But Michael had given you a different choice. And somehow, he’d made it feel easy.
You smiled. This one, real. “Yeah. I’d like that.”
“Good,” he said, relief barely hidden in the curve of his grin. 
Then, as if sensing the fragility of the moment, he didn’t try to fill it with anything clever or overthought. He just gestured toward the sidewalk. “Shall we?”
You nodded, falling into step beside him, 
“Lead the way”
The click of your heels a steady rhythm against the pavement. The late spring air was still warm, but there was a breeze now, tugging gently at the hem of your dress, softening everything. You walked on the edge of the sidewalk closest to the road, but Michael moved you to the inside, switching places with you.
He didn’t say anything when he guided you to the safer side of the sidewalk—just a light hand at the small of your back, casual and instinctive. You noticed, of course. Not because it was dramatic, romantic, or loud, but because it was something else entirely: considerate. A gesture that spoke volumes without needing a single word.
You didn’t comment on it, but your steps slowed just enough to match his stride more closely. There was a comfort in the pace, in the sound of his shoes beside yours, in the quiet understanding between two people who weren’t trying to be anything other than present.
For a while, neither of you said much. The silence wasn’t uncomfortable—it felt like a pause between beats, like both of you had agreed to let the noise of the day settle. And maybe that was what you needed most right now. Not fixing. Not a distraction. Just company.
“So,” Michael said eventually, glancing sideways at you, “if I hate this place, do I get to blame you forever?”
You snorted. “Absolutely not. But if you love it, I expect full credit.”
“Seems fair,” he said, smiling. “What’s the order then, oh wise one?”
You pretended to consider it seriously. “Cacio e pepe, bruschetta, mozzarella and prosciutto, and you’re not allowed to skip the tiramisu. It’s... important.”
He nodded solemnly. “Tiramisu. Got it. A matter of national security.”
“Exactly,” you said, and for a moment, you weren’t thinking about Aiden, or your phone, or the sting you’d felt sitting alone on the steps. You were thinking about pasta. And the way Michael had made this feel like a beginning, not an ending.
“Here it is.”
Up ahead, the golden glow of Bella Notte spilled onto the sidewalk, soft and inviting. The warm light glowed through the windows, the soft clink of dishes, and the low hum of conversation drifting out. You caught yourself smiling again.
You and Michael had ordered everything you'd talked about while walking, the anticipation of good food and even better company making the trip feel effortless. Like a true gentleman, Michael insisted on paying for the meal, despite your protests. You tried to argue, but he only smiled and said something about it being his treat—"next time, you'll get it," he promised.
Afterward, he carried the bags back to the apartment, each step filled with an easy, quiet rhythm between the two of you. You walked beside him, your footsteps falling in sync, the warm bags of food tucked securely in his hands. The elevator ride up to the 6th floor was brief, but it felt like just enough time to enjoy the moment before the evening had to end.
You reached your doors, the quiet of the hallway wrapping around you both. You stopped just in front of your apartment, heart a little heavier at the thought of this being the last part of the evening. "Do you wanna come over and eat? Or not—I know you must be tired." The offer slipped out before you could second-guess it, an instinct you couldn’t ignore.
You liked Michael’s company more than you’d expected. There was something easy, almost natural, about being with him. You weren’t ready to say goodbye just yet, and you hoped he wasn’t either.
“Uh…Yeah, sure,” he said with a grin, his voice light. “I’m just gonna shower. I need to get the ER off of me.” He laughed, the sound easy and familiar. “I’ll be over in ten minutes. Is that okay?”
You nodded, taking the bags of food he handed you as you both stepped into your apartment. The air felt a little warmer now, like it had shifted into something more comfortable, more settled.
As promised, Michael showed up soon after. He’d clearly made an effort to unwind—out of his scrubs, into a simple white t-shirt and black sweatpants, sneakers completing the casual look. The reading glasses perched on his nose added an unexpected, almost studious touch, softening his usual confident energy. It was a different side of him, and somehow, it made him even more appealing.
The two of you sat down at your island table, the food spread out between you, the soft light from the lamp casting a warm glow over the room. There was a quiet ease in the way you both settled in, as if you’d done this a hundred times before. You unpacked the bags, the smell of the food filling the space, mixing with the faint scent of Michael’s cologne.
“Alright, let’s see if this was worth the walk,” he said, grinning as you grabbed a few napkins and handed one to him. Michael smirked, but you could see the familiar spark of excitement in his eyes, like he was just as eager to dive into the meal as you were.
He took a bite of the Cacio e pepe , pausing for a moment to savor the flavors. Then, his expression shifted, the glint in his eyes turning to one of mock seriousness. 
“So? What’s the verdict? Worth the walk?” you ask him
"Absolutely," he said, taking another bite, his voice slightly muffled by the food. "Bella Notte? 10 out of 10. You took my Bella Notte virginity. You’ve officially converted me." Michael paused again, wiping his mouth with the napkin you’d handed him, clearly impressed.
You laughed, unable to hold it in. “Well, I’m glad I could make such an impact.” went back to your own meal, secretly pleased that he was enjoying it as much as you were.
“Bella Notte has ruined any other Italian restaurant for me,” he said, shaking his head in mock disbelief.
You grinned, feeling a sense of triumph. “That’s the power of Bella Notte,” you teased, cutting into your own dish. “Once it gets you, there’s no going back. Other Italian places will just feel... meh in comparison.”
Michael shook his head again, still not quite believing it. “I’m serious. I don’t know how I’ll go back to the regular stuff after this. This place has ruined me for every other pasta joint in the city."
You raised your eyebrows, a sly grin forming on your lips. “Okay, now you gotta try the tiramisu!”
__
The two of you finished eating, and Michael immediately jumped in to help clean up. He tossed the to-go containers in the trash, wiping down the countertop with a few swift motions. It was the kind of effortless help that made the whole process feel casual, like it was nothing, but it still meant a lot.
“Thanks for tonight,” you said, your voice a little softer than usual. You meant more than just the meal. Michael had truly saved the night. If it hadn’t been for him, you’d have been alone, cooped up in your apartment, feeling sorry for yourself after your boyfriend flaked out on dinner. But instead, here you were—laughing, enjoying a good meal, and feeling a lot more like yourself.
Michael looked up, his eyes meeting yours with that easy warmth he always carried. “Anytime,” he said with a small but genuine smile.
You smiled back, a little grateful for his presence, for the way he turned an unexpectedly rough evening into something enjoyable. Maybe even more than enjoyable—his company was better than you could have imagined. You'd gone from feeling alone to... well, you didn’t quite know how to describe it. But it was good. Comfortable.
You cleared your throat, breaking the quiet. “Seriously, Michael. You didn’t have to. But I’m really glad you did.” You were grateful, but the words still felt somehow insufficient for what he’d done. He’d shown up when no one else had, and that meant more than you could say.
He shrugged with that signature nonchalance, still wearing that easy grin. "I don’t mind. Not a big deal." But even as he downplayed it, there was something in his eyes that told you he knew it was. He wasn’t just being polite. He was being real.
“I just… wasn’t expecting tonight to turn out like this,” you admitted, the words slipping out before you could stop them. “I thought I’d be sitting here by myself, feeling stupid for getting my hopes up. But you made it better. So... thanks for not making me feel like an idiot.”
Michael didn’t say anything at first. He just paused, his hands stilling mid-wipe as your words settled in the quiet space between you. You didn’t have to explain—he already knew you were talking about your boyfriend. About how he flaked on the plans you’d made. How he left you sitting there, dressed up and waiting for something that never came.
There was a flicker in Michael’s eyes—something unreadable, but undeniably present. The easy rhythm of the evening shifted, like a breath held just a second too long.
He finished wiping down the counter, slower this time, more thoughtful. Then he turned to face you, expression softened, the usual smirk gone. His voice, when it came, was quiet—low and steady, carrying something that made you feel like the only person in the room.
“You don’t ever have to feel like an idiot,” he said. “Wanting something—hoping it’ll turn out the way you imagined—that’s not weakness. That’s you putting your heart out there. And yeah, sometimes people let us down. But that doesn’t make you foolish.”
The words hit you harder than you expected—not because they were dramatic, but because they weren’t. They were simple. Honest. Kind. And in that moment, you felt something inside you shift. The weight you hadn’t realized you were carrying seemed a little lighter now.
He cleared his throat, the sound cutting through the stillness in the room. “I uh…I think I should get going,” he said, his voice gentle, but with a finality that made you realize the evening was drawing to a close. He placed the rag on the ledge of the kitchen sink, his fingers lingering just a bit too long against the cool surface, like he didn’t quite want to leave yet.
“Right,” you said, your voice quieter than usual, almost an exhale. The single word felt heavier than it should’ve, and for a split second, it felt like you were both on the edge of something you weren’t quite ready to cross.
“I’ll see you around,” he added with a shrug, the smile on his face casual, but his eyes… his eyes said more. They held something unspoken, something that made your chest tighten in a way you couldn’t quite explain.
“Right,” you repeated, a little breathless this time. You turned to walk him to the door, the distance between the kitchen and the hallway seeming like it stretched just a little longer than usual.
When you reached the door, he paused, and so did you. There was a silence that wasn’t awkward, but quiet in a way that made the space between you feel a little more fragile.
“Goodnight,” he said, turning to face you, his voice quieter now, sincere, like the weight of everything you’d just shared was still lingering in the air. He reached for the door handle, his hand brushing against it slowly, as though trying to delay the inevitable.
“Goodnight, Michael,” you replied, your voice a little softer than usual. You stood just a little too close to the door, your fingers wrapped around the edge, holding it open for him. Your heart was beating faster than you’d like to admit, the night’s unspoken moments still hanging between you like an unfinished sentence.
For a brief moment, neither of you moved. There was something in the air, something unsaid, and you couldn’t quite shake the feeling that you weren’t ready for it to end. You didn’t want to shut the door on everything that had passed between you, not just yet.
He nodded once, a small but deliberate gesture that carried more weight than it probably should have. It felt like a silent goodbye, but also like something more. Then, with a quiet sigh, he stepped into the hallway, his footsteps soft but steady, each one echoing a little too loudly in the sudden silence.
You stood there, watching him go, your hand still on the door. The quiet stretched between you, neither of you in a hurry to break it. You kept the door open for just a breath longer than necessary, as though holding on to the space, holding on to something that had started tonight and hadn’t quite finished yet.
Finally, you closed the door behind you with a soft click, the sound breaking the stillness of your apartment. The air felt different now—not empty, but full of something you couldn’t quite define. It wasn’t loneliness, nor was it peace, but something in between. Something that made you realize, for the first time in a while, that the night had meant more than you could put into words.
Across The Hall (1) (2)
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