#yeah so it turns out that if you decide to devote 1 hour each day to something you do in fact have 1 hour less to do other things

[the-sea-anemone]

it's not so much that i'm being unproductive as i'm being productive at the wrong things. every day needs to be like 20% longer

[wasabito]

➽ corruption collab masterlist — hosted by @ultimate-astridwriting and @bummie ♥️

➽ note: definitely gonna come back and edit this a bit more because threesomes are hard as fuck, no pun intended lmao happy v-day everyone!

➽ word count: 3.2k

➽ cw/tags: polyamory + body worship + threesome + praise kink + public sex + choking + handjobs/fingering + vaginal sex + squirting + established relationship

➽ pairing: akaashi x fem!reader x bokuto

💿 1. nasty — ariana grande || 2. come on — jhene aiko

With Valentine's Day fast approaching, it becomes rather apparent that love and romance are in the air. Storefronts are decorated in bubblegum pinks and reds. Flower shops promote their special bouquet arrangements at discounted prices. Even your favorite hole in the wall coffee shop has fallen prey to the spirit of cupid as they announce their new strawberry shortcake dessert and heart-shaped scones.

In lieu of staying home for the third night this week, your boyfriends escort you to dinner at an upscale restaurant in the city. They treat you to a five-course meal and a bottle of wine even pricier than the dinner itself. One would think, after three years of dating, you would no longer be caught unawares by their spontaneity. And yet, here they are, once again pulling the rug from underneath your four-inch heels.

Your gaze flickers from Akaashi's tranquil smile to Bokuto's wide grin.

Adjusting the napkin in your lap, you open your mouth to speak, then pause as the right words fail it come. Brain short-circuiting instead, you let out a confused, "Huh?!"

"We're taking you to Italy!" Bokuto repeats, about ready to hop out of his seat with excitement. He looks to Akaashi, "Three nights in Venice, right 'Kaashi?"

"Yes, we decided on Venice after you told us you'd always wanted to visit. Remember Koutarou's birthday last year?"

"But that was like months ago! Did you two honestly hold onto that drunk little confession this entire time?"

"Of course."

"Yup!!"

It's in moments like these when you are reminded of their history together, first as teammates playing volleyball, and eventually close friends. Not much longer after that, you'd met and fallen for Akaashi, then Bokuto, and thus began the relationship of today. While you find it a little ridiculous, it seems neither of them has any qualms about this trip.

After all, you are their lovely girlfriend. Why wouldn't they want to make your wishes come true?

Bokuto claps his hands, eyes sparkling. "Everything's already planned out, babe, so don't worry your pretty little head, okay?"

You can't argue with that. Reaching over, you take Bokuto's hand in your right and Akaashi's in your left. "Alright, since you two went to all this trouble for me, I guess I'll just sit back and enjoy it."

♥️

Venice is just as beautiful as you imagined.

It looks as if it's floating upon blue-green waters with lots of sunshine, beautiful architecture, and a vibrancy that makes it feel like the city has a life of its own. You are grateful you didn't come by yourself. There is no way you would've enjoyed it without Akaashi and Bokuto at your side.

"We're about a ten-minute walk from Piazza San Marco," Akaashi says as he taps his glasses. His sharp gaze is locked on the map in his hands, likely committing most landmarks and details to memory. "Would you like to check it out?"

"Yeah! Let's do it."

"Off we go, go, go!"

Thus, a majority of your first day in Venice is spent sightseeing.

The three of you take a gondola ride through Canale Grande, then have a peek into the Gallerie Dell'Accademia at Akaashi's insistence, though naturally, you wouldn't have come all the way to Italy and not visited at least one art museum. Afterward, the three of you go to the Le Mercerie shopping district and buy gifts for your friends before finally taking a pit stop for the most delicious gelato in the city.

The sunsets sooner than expected, casting the entire block in deep red hues. Bokuto's mood is greatly influenced by it, and the jetlag certainly doesn't help. He props himself against you, nuzzling you in a way that says he's itching for a kiss.

"Tired, Kou?"

Bokuto hums. "A little... More hungry than anything."

He leans in and pecks your lips with a sated smile. "Maybe I should eat you. I mean, how is it my girl's so damn cute? Not fair, I can't resist."

You snort at Bo's silliness but can't help shivering a little at the tiny implication of his words. He always did like to lay his head on your thighs, leaving a trail of kisses and love bites where he could.

So, the thought of him eating you out made you squeeze your thighs together.

Akaashi approaches with your frozen treats held between his long fingers; having overheard Bokuto earlier, he tucks his wallet back into his pocket.

"We'll get some dinner after we drop off these shopping bags. How does that sound?"

You eagerly take your gelato from him with a smile.

"Sounds like a plan."

Akaashi nods, standing at your other side, close enough to brush elbows though not as close as Bokuto, who was nearly hovering.

The three of you are in one of the narrow, maze-like streetways, basking in the warm, early evening glow. The sweet taste of fruit and cream on your tongue fills you with so much contentment, especially while being with your favorite people. You aren't sure if anything could top the way you currently felt, and the trip has just barely started.

Upon arriving at your temporary place of residence, a quaint little villa on the waterfront just along the shore of Punta Sabbioni Beach, Bokuto immediately kicks off his sandals, dumps the bags, and promptly falls asleep on the couch.

"It's so weird seeing Kou like this." You remark. "On any normal day, he's brimming with almost too much energy, but now he's all tired."

"Well, he did stay up an entire twelve hours on the plane. It was only a matter of time before fatigue caught up to him." Akaashi picks up Bokuto's shoes with practiced ease and places them by the others.

There is a fond smile running along the edges of his mouth as he tucks a throw around the man's larger frame. You help him adjust a spare pillow under Bo's head and then set off to explore the rest of the area.

It seemed like everything about Venice was taken straight out of a romance film, with its cobblestone paths, gothic cathedral architecture, crisp ocean waters, and authentic Italian cuisine. It is no wonder the city's known to draw hapless souls together in romance. Even you fell subject to it, and by each passing moment, you crave to be with your boyfriends.

You are standing at the balcony overlooking the beach, satisfied with your inspection of the villa when Akaashi comes to stand behind you. He holds onto the railings, caging you in his arms, and rests his chin on your shoulder.

"He was right, you know." He murmurs. "You do look good enough to eat."

Blunt as ever. Apparently, something's never change.

Though one might say that Akaashi is as he's always been after high school and college, there is no denying his boost in confidence. After all, he had landed not one but two rather attractive partners.

He kisses your cheek, then your jaw, before latching onto your neck.

The sun's scenic view on the horizon, reflecting upon the beach sands of gold and shimmering orange waves, makes for an excellent backdrop.

You turn to face Akaashi and pull him into a heated kiss. His lips convey a sense of devotion to you, and with each press of them against yours, you can feel just how bad he's yearning for more.

"Kei," you whisper. "Let's go inside."

In a moment, Akaashi whisks you off your feet quite similar to how Bokuto would, though you both don't even make it to the bedroom.

Your other partner had sat up on the sofa, hair flat on one side, scrubbing his eyelids.

"Guys, I'm freaking starving!" Bokuto groans. "Let's get some food or something."

He doesn't even notice how you and Akaashi are breathing heavy or how your clothes are sporting wrinkles that were not previously there. Regardless, Akaashi has food delivered while you went ahead to shower the day's journey away. There are still two days left. You'd get your chance with them at some point.

♥️

Sadly, the entirety of day two is spent indoors. Heavy sheets of rain continue to fall, muddying the shoreline. The three of you huddle on the sofa wrapped in blankets with subtitled movies playing in the background.

Even though you would've much rather been out exploring in the city, just sharing in your boyfriend's warmth would suffice for now. Akaashi hands you a steaming cup of something rich in both color and smell.

"What's this?"

"Just espresso." He takes the empty seat beside you.

You savor the taste while leaning against his shoulder. "Mm, nice."

Bokuto keeps his head on your lap, loving how you thread your fingers into his hair.

It is a tranquil kind of peace that soon lulls you to sleep.

Later, when you finally wake up, it's dark, and you're alone. A blanket had been tucked around your shoulders to shield you from the sudden chill. At some point, the television had been shut off along with every light in the room. You might've been a little scared if not for the voices coming from the second floor. Slowly, you creep up the winding staircase, dragging along the blanket around your shoulders.

"Hey, hey, hey!" Bokuto chuckles. "You're finally up!"

His hair is down, wet from his shower, and he holds a thin towel together around his waist. In his hand is a cellphone, and he doesn't hesitate to shove the screen into your face. "Say hi, Tetsu!"

"Hi Y/N, how's it going?"

You blink slowly, still trying to wake yourself up.

"Kuroo, hey… I'm well. How are you?"

"Great, just about to head out for a late lunch. I hear it's almost ten pm over there."

"Yeah, it's an eight-hour time difference."

You and Kuroo continue to chat while Bokuto towels off his hair and puts on clothes. Afterward, you let Bokuto resume his conversation and join Akaashi on the bed. The man had gone full editor-mode with his glasses propped up in his hair as he read through some work documents.

When you approach, he greets you with a kiss on the cheek. "You look well-rested."

"Is that your way of telling me I have drool on my cheek, Keiji?"

He cracks a tiny smile, eyes taking in your features, then he pokes your cheek with his index finger. "Perhaps."

You scrub the corners of your mouth with your sleeve and drape yourself over Akaashi, work be damned. This was supposed to be a special weekend for relaxing.

"I really wanted to go to the beach today." You pout.

Akaashi interlocks his fingers with yours. "Maybe we still can. It stopped raining a few hours ago."

"Really?!"

You hop off the bed and head for the window. He's right, the rain had long stopped, and the beach lay bare, lit by only the moonlight.

Maybe a short walk to the beach would do you some good.

♥️

The grains of sand feel cold against your feet without the sun to beat down on them, but you don't complain. The air is humid enough on its own that you forgo wearing actual clothes and instead wear a swimsuit along with Bokuto's old Fukurōdani windbreaker.

You walk along the shore, toes digging into the sand, letting the ocean waves lap at your feet to wash them clean again.

At first, it's so eerily quiet without a soul around except you, but even that doesn't last long. You hear Bokuto's voice bellow into the night as he jogs towards you in nothing but swim trunks. Behind him, Akaashi trails slowly after with a blanket in hand.

"We thought you might want some company." He says and spreads the cover on the sand several feet away from the water, content with just watching.

Bokuto grabs your hand and you go running to the water with him, but a second later, you both come sprinting back.

"It's freezing!"

"S-So co-co-cold!"

You collapse on top of him, fingers splayed across his bare chest. However, when you try to sit up, Bokuto has other plans. He keeps you pressed to his chest with both arms around your waist.

"Let me keep you warm, baby!"

You know he meant it in the most innocent way, but you can't help but think other thoughts. Your nerves fray at the image that blooms in your head and spreads like wildfire.

And as Akaashi strokes your back, you know he's probably read your mind.

It's the way your eyes seem to glitter with want that gives it away. Akaashi has always been rather observant, and so your silent cues are something he's always been privy to.

His nimble fingers curve around the nape of your neck, and he tilts his head to capture your lips in a kiss. This one is unlike the one from yesterday. There is no rush, no desire to quicken his haste; instead, he savors the taste of you like it's something to be thoroughly enjoyed.

Underneath you, Bokuto stirs, growing aroused at the sight of his two lovers' kiss. He can't decide whether he wants to join in or sit back and watch. But his large hand comes down to stroke your ass, resulting in a moan you breathe directly into Akaashi's mouth.

"You're not usually so forthcoming, Keiji," you whisper against his lips. "Eager, are we?"

Akaashi pulls away just enough to pepper your face in feathery kisses. "Can you blame me? When I have such a lovely girlfriend here."

As if confirming his words, he slips a hand under your jacket and cups your breast. The pads of his thumb brush along the seams of your bathing suit, caressing your nipple.

"Kou, let's show Y/N just how much we love her, yes?"

Bokuto didn't need to be told twice. He had been in entranced by you and Akaashi, completely taken by the way your lips danced upon one another. But now, he wanted more than anything to touch you, kiss you, hold you.

Bokuto cradles you in his lap, propping your legs open with his knees so Akaashi can kneel in front of you. It didn't take much for him to relieve you of your clothing, namely your swimming bottoms. But the second the air hits your bare cunt, you feel tense.

You aren't sure what it was, but the atmosphere is different. Both Akaashi and Bokuto are so focused on you, it feels like you're under a spotlight.

"You're so pretty, so beautiful," Bokuto says while squeezing your thighs. His warm breath tickles your ear as he presses his nose into your neck. Next, his lips follow suit. "Wanna fuck you, so bad baby. You'd like that, right?"

His words earn him a chuckle from Akaashi, who merely licks two of his fingers, wetting them and sliding into you. Your mouth parts, shaky breaths barely expelled from your lungs. You're hyper-aware of the fact that you're literally being fingered on a beach in the middle of the night, and you can't bring yourself to care. It feels good to be pampered by the two men you love.

For every moan, Akaashi gives you double for your efforts, thrusting his fingers just right, curving them in such a way that has your back arching off Bokuto, who has also taken to fondling your nipples. With every roll of his hips, you feel his cock against your ass, and it pushes you further into Akaashi's fingers.

Your impending orgasm sweeps by so close and yet so far away. All you can do is rock yourself faster.

"Please," you whimper. "W-Wanna come."

Akaashi crooks his fingers, pressing into the perfect spot that sends you hurtling over the edge. Your cunt spasms around his fingers, clenching in intervals you have no control over until his hand is coated with your wet, slick juices that keep coming the more you squirt all over him.

"She's so wet 'Kaashi. Look at our pretty girl."

Akaashi places a chaste kiss on your forehead with a smile.

"She's doing well, so far. Let's see if she can keep going."

Bokuto shimmies his shorts off enough to free his hard cock. He had been uncharacteristically patient until now, but that was soon to change as he lines himself up with your cunt, teasing you with just the tip.

Your whining is unintelligible, but both men understand you more or less.

"Give the pretty girl what she wants," Akaashi says. He strokes his own hard-on at the sight of Bokuto's pushing past your wet folds. "I know she can take more than that."

Bokuto has always been girthy, and it takes you more than a few seconds to adjust to his size, but when you finally do, it feels like heaven.

The position you're in gives Bokuto all the power to thrust into you like a ragdoll. But it's only when you make eye contact with Akaashi that you realize that it's, in fact, the other way around for him in particular. From where he sits, stroking his cock with flushed cheeks and choked moans, you see just how much control you have over him.

"Kiss me." You moan.

Akaashi doesn't let you repeat yourself. He kisses you long and hard even as you grip his throat with one hand and his hair with the other. He kisses you until his lips are red and bruised.

"Good boy. Both of y-you."

Bokuto groans loudly. "Say it again. Keep saying it!"

"Y-You're both so good. I-" your hips stutter against Akaashi's fingers that are rubbing circles into your clit. "Good, so good-"

That's all it takes to take Bokuto over the edge, blowing his load. "Perfect, so fucking perfect."

You can feel another orgasm swelling up inside your belly. You try to tell them but can't, too overcome by the feeling of your body tingling with desire. It's too much, overwhelmingly so; your vision blurs with unshed tears as Bokuto continues to pound into sopping pussy. Pleasure floods every fiber of your being until you're limp and every nerve in your body is set alight.

Bokuto slips out of you easily, a string of his semen following.

You can only look on in a drowsy haze as Bokuto leans over and kisses you and then Akaashi, working him over with a tight fist.

♥️

The following morning, you’re the first to wake, but only because there’s a limb jammed into your back and a heavy weight on your chest. It takes you a moment to realize, but it’s Bokuto’s elbow poking you and Akaashi’s head resting on you.

All three of you are a tangle of limbs in bed, but you aren’t sure how you’d gotten there.

“G’mornin’” Bokuto breathes. His lips caress the column of your neck.

“Morning.”

You shift into a more comfortable position. Though doing so presses Akaashi’s morning wood against your thigh.

“Keiji, you awake yet?”

“Mmm barely.” Akaashi looks up at you through his lashes, then smiles and nuzzles closer into your chest.

Bokuto, content with being your big spoon, reaches over to touch Akaashi, hands cupping his cheek. “It’s Valentine’s Day!”

“That’s true, should we do something special.”

Thinking about the previous night, you feel desire stirring in your gut. “Could we just... do it again?”

Both men look to each other then back at you, sporting matching smiles.

“Why not?”

[e-jaegerenthusiast]

how mikasa uses the red scarf on eren

nsfw eremika drabble <3 (part 2)

part 1 here

warnings/tw; smut, unprotected sex, teasing, edging, overstimulation, choking, slight bondage?, some fluff

•••••••••••••••••••••••

eren jaeger was always in control. almost.

mikasa had great strength, she always stood up for herself. never listening to others, she didn’t need anyone. except for eren.

she had devoted herself completely to him. mind, body, and soul. she loved him to bits and pieces. she would do anything for him, die for him, kill for him, live for him.

she would devote all of herself to him whenever he wanted. letting him fuck her until she was shaking, thighs sore and stomach slightly aching from where eren had been deep inside her.

it’s not like she wouldn’t like it. she loved the kind of pain eren inflicted on her. she knew he would never hurt her, could never bring himself to.

however, sometimes eren could be a bitch.

he would tease and edge her for hours.

abusing her so-called ackerman strength and patience.

mikasa knew he could go on for hours, even if she tried to touch him, he wouldn’t let her.

sometimes he wouldn’t tie her up, he would love looking down on her as she struggles to keep her hands above her head like he had instructed her to. would love to see her be at war with herself as she absentmindedly tries to decide between her never ending devotion to eren or her own pleasure.

he secretly wanted her to snap, wanted her to just growl and pounce on him. he wouldn’t ask, eren jaeger never asked for anything. he never asked her to pleasure him. she already knew all his desires, all his weak spots and all his breaking points.

well one time her patience did snap, it was when he was away from her for a week. a week was a lot for two people who can’t stop fucking every other night. he came back after a week of being away from her, and mikasa almost screamed when he demanded she don’t touch him.

he didn’t even let her hug him when he walked through the door. her brows furrowed and her eyes started tearing up. he merely had a small smirk on his face, standing infront of her and telling her it’ll be worth it, that he will pleasure her to no avail later on.

well eren was an asshole. he had prolonged all his activities in the day, taking too long to shower, eat, and just fucking about really.

only when mikasa stopped following him around the house like a lost puppy, sitting on their shared bed, arms crossed with a scowl on her features. only then, he started to move towards her. bastard didn’t even have a shirt on the whole day as he tried to hide his smirk when mikasa practically drooled over him.

he walked towards the bed, sweatpants hanging low on his waistline, hair in a messy bun with multiple strands fanning around his neck and his forhead. he looked godly.

he sat on the bed next to her, putting his large palm on her cheek. she shivered beneath his touch. she close her eyes, took a deep breath, and leaned into his palm. she thought he would finally give her what she wants. finally touch her, let her have him after a whole week and a day of not being able to touch him, to feel his touch.

she was wrong, he continued the torture, just this time on their bed, as he spread her legs wide open, demanding she keep her hands above her head. she squirmed and writhed beneath him, whining and begging. hiding her red cheeks in her scarf.

eren would chuckle menacingly. “look at you, love.”

he would lightly glide his fingers down her stomach, making her arch her back towards him. “got you so desperate, yeah?” she would whine at his deep voice, looking up at his lust-filled eyes, attempting a puppy-eyed look as eren had an amused expression on his face, “‘ren, please, please, let me touch you. I’ve missed you. I wanna touch you!” she would kick her legs like a child, as if she was deprived from sweet candy. she wanted him. she wanted him so bad it hurt, it hurt her insides. her hands hurt, aching to touch him. her lips and tongue hurt, wanting to be on his. her cunt hurt, clenching around nothing as eren’s hand would stop right above her clit.

but most of all, her head hurt. it ached. it was deafening. it was numbing all her other aches, everything fading away except eren’s teal eyes.

she looked up at him, his eyes filled with lust, as if a flick was switched in her, she grunted and pounced on him. pushing him into the bed, she straddled his lap, her wetness spreading on his own already-damp sweatpants as her legs were on either side of him.

he looked up at her with a shit-eating grin, he wanted this. he would let her control him, do anything she wants. it was turning him on more and more by the second. the feral look in the ackerman’s eyes alone could make him cum undone, her eyes glowing with determination. determined to pleasure herself.

she started unwrapping her scarf around herself, throwing it around eren’s neck, god he looked good in it. it had been years since she saw the red fabric around his slender neck.

she tugged on both ends, bringing eren’s face impossibly closer, making him clench his jaw and grunt as she looked down at him, the tip of their noses touching, his teal eyes switching between glancing at her eyes and her lips.

she planted a slow lick on his lips, with that, he groaned and smashed his lips against hers. mikasa’s grip on the scarf around his neck tightening as they swallowed eachother whole. their tongues sloppily playing with eachother, eren biting mikasa’s lower lip as she moans into his mouth.

mikasa held both ends of the scarf with one hand, her other hand going to tangle with the loose hairs around his neck as she started grinding on him. eren started meeting her thrusts, both of them dry humping eachother like some high school kids.

when they both ran out of breath and parted their lips from eachother, a string of saliva connecting them. mikasa’s hand in eren’s hair went to tug at the waistband of his grey sweatpants, his breaths coming out his swollen lips as pants.

she managed to bring down his sweats, now pooling around his knees, his cock finally being freed, smacking against his abs, too red and glistening with precum, begging to be touched as eren never would. eren sighed loudly, slightly thrusting upwards as mikasa’s folds glided against the side of his length.

they were both panting messes, at this point just teasing themselves. mikasa grabbed a hold of his shoulders as she buried her head into the scarf around his neck, lifting her hips, waiting for him to finally fill her up.

eren chuckled lowly, one hand around mikasa’s waist as the other grabbed a hold of his own cock, so hard he could swear he would explode. yet the bastard still went on about his teasing, hitting the tip of his dick on her cunt one, two, three times before she whined, he brought his other hand down to her ass, giving it a sharp slap. she moaned loudly into his neck, trying to calm herself with his smell.

eren’s patience ran thin, finally shoving his thick cock into her hole with a groan as he held her waist with both hands. mikasa moaned, eren’s cock wasn’t even halfway in, her wet cunt tightened around his tip, screaming as her legs shook, her head forced back as she came around his tip.

eren looked up at her, amused look on his face as he held himself back from cumming, being too good at that by now. as mikasa opened her eyes, she was met with eren smirking hazily, “you just came around my head, baby?” he questioned in a teasing tone, already knowing the answer.

mikasa furrowed her brows, grabbing both ends of the scarf as she lowered herself onto him in a flash, all of his length buried inside her to a hilt, his tip hitting her cervix, threatening to rip up her insides. she held back a wince, tears welling around her eyes but she swallowed the lump in her throat, she was determined. determined to wipe that shit-eating grin off his handsome face.

eren’s face scrunched up, his eyes shutting without his will, lips parted as he threw his head back with a growl. mikasa could feel thick, white ropes fill her up. her thighs slightly shaking around him from the overstimulating texture of his cum deep inside of her.

eren was a moaning mess beneath her, still cumming, he opened his eyes lazily, feeling mikasa wrap other end of the scarf around his neck and tug at the ends, the scarf cutting eren’s blood flow in the now prominent vein in his neck.

he gasped, holding a tight grip on mikasa’s waist as his slender fingers would most probably leave purple marks there for the next few days. he held her waist as he started thrusting up into her, cock still hard even though he just came.

his breaths came out ragged, turning into moans and groans halfway as mikasa had her mouth open, no noise leaving her mouth as she had a deathly grip on the scarf around his neck. eren’s previous cum was oozing out of her with each of his brain-damaging thrusts, leaking back down onto his dick and his thighs. it was messy, sloppy, hard. just like eren likes it.

eren groaned as mikasa kept clenching around his cock, more cum sliding in and out of her, his thrusts hard and bruising, “harder,” he choked out. mikasa has a confused look on her face as she looked down at him, “choke me,” he said between pants, mikasa clenching around him with his words, “choke me, mikasa. harder.”

he was demanding something from her. for once, asking her to do it, she moaned as she tightened her grip around the scarf, adding one of her hands into the mix as she pressed her fingers around his neck and onto his popping veins.

he whined. eren jaeger fucking whined.

it was too much, mikasa clenched harder around his cock if that was even possible, her thighs shaking and her holds on his neck and the scarf tightening involuntarily.

he grunted and moaned, throwing his had back as he kept thrusting in her, “fuck— fuck— m-mikasa, i love you, i love you, love yo-“ cumming inside her with a loud groan, as she panted his name like a prayer.

they stilled, both of them spent as they had each came twice, mikasa could feel another patch of cum oozing out of her and onto eren’s still-hard dick.

they both opened their eyes at the same time, looking at eachother as mikasa’s grip on the scarf loosened, eren smiled, turning into a chuckle as mikasa snorted.

both of them breaking down into laughs as they were high on eachother.

••••••••••••••••••••••

there we go! as i promised, the other one got 30 likes so :p

hope you guys enjoyed oml- this was a whole ass ride. literally.

i absolutely wanted to write sum where eren is a teasing mf, laughing at mikasa for coming too soon- but mikasa being the badass she is— shows him he ain’t shit either 🥴

not me tearing up at the end tho-

© all content belongs to e-jaegerenthusiast, do not repost or copy any of my work

[blouisparadise]

We realized it’s been a while since our first canon rec list came out, so we decided to create a second part to it! We hope you enjoy these fics. If you enjoy BLP making rec lists, please be sure to reblog this post to spread the word. Happy reading!

1) That Summer Feeling | Explicit | 2093 words

"It was still a lazy summer evening, the sun was still floating in the sky and the balcony window was letting in a warm breeze. Harry thumbed at Louis’ hipbone, easing his lips off Louis’ skin just to mumble “Turn over, darling.” Louis cracked a small smile, turning over slowly and revealing the back half of his naked body. Harry’s tongue felt too big for his mouth. He swallowed as he took in the sight. He’d never get tired of this."

2) The Sucking Method | Explicit | 2668 words | Sequel #1 | Sequel #2 | Sequel #3

Louis tries to quit smoking, but none of his methods work. Harry comes up with a new idea that involves lots of sucking.

3) Spirit Meets The Bones | Explicit | 3220 words

The action shouldn’t fill his eyes with tears but it does. These small gestures mean the world to him. A steady reminder that Harry does notice all the tiny, seemingly insignificant details that make Louis him.

4) Blue Eyes, Black Jeans, Lighters, Candy | Explicit | 3629 words | Sequel

Harry is in Madrid and Louis had a hard week.

5) This Is Where I Sleep | Explicit | 3678 words

Harry and Louis go camping while on break and make some memories.

6) A Touch of Your Love | Explicit | 3856 words

Harry needs to work out. Louis wants him to pay attention to him. They find a compromise.

7) We’ve Got A Vicious Streak | Explicit | 4073 words

In the aftermath of 1DDay, Harry finds a way to help Louis relax.

8) The Sound Of Silence | Explicit | 4272 words

Note: This fic is locked and can only be read by AO3 users.

Early the next morning, Louis had been scrolling through Twitter when he first saw the wild conspiracy.

“What if the person in the VIP box is actually Xander?”

Louis had almost choked on his coffee. Xander? Of all the people Harry had been connected to over the last few years, this person was speculating Harry was secretly in love with Xander Ritz?

9) Cherries In The Snow | Mature | 5151 words

It’s Valentine’s Day, and Harry is not in the mood. So naturally, Louis lets Harry paint his body with kiss marks to make him feel better.

10) At The End Of My Rope | Mature | 5608 words

The one where they go to Crete and Harry is definitely hiding something.

11) Just Stop Your Crying (It's a Sign of the Times) | Explicit | 5864 words

My own imagining of the inspiration for Sign of the Times.  Featuring boys in love, even after all this time.

12) Maybe My Heart’s Numb | Mature | 6007 words

"Lou."

He breathes in sharply and turns to his right, the source of the voice just having sat down. "Yeah?" he asks softly, trying to get his voice to come out as evenly as possible.

Harry stares at him with an unreadable look on his face, then looks down. Louis' gaze follows.

 Oh.

Harry's holding his right hand, a completely burnt out cigarette lying underneath it.

13) Singing Your Praises | Explicit | 6226 words

Prompt 86: Louis rides Harry while wearing his packer’s jersey/sweater and gets his ass ate.

14) The Window To The Soul | Explicit | 6925 words

Harry comes off stage at iHeart 2017 and really needs a bit of physical affection.

15) PDA: Public Displays of Arousal | Mature | 7281 words

"He soon ventured out on a relaxing stroll along the damp shore, pouting down at the very dainty size of the footprints he made in the wet sand. He could already picture Harry making a large footprint right next to it just to coo at their very distinct size difference, and Louis didn’t know whether to grin or grimace. He looked up from the ground to observe the colorful assortment of tents and umbrellas from the people scattered along the sand, and the people themselves were-

Well, they were all naked."

16) Cease The Day | Explicit | 8195 words

In which 1D Day takes on a whole new meaning.

Instead of a seven hour livestream, the One Direction team deem it more profitable to offer an entire day spent with any one member of the band for the highest bidder. What happens when the same buyer wins both Louis and Harry for a day?

17) Little White Lies | Explicit | 10450 words

Louis makes an off hand comment in an interview then comes home to find Harry has laid his old braces out on their bed.

18) Tomorrow You Won’t Be Mine | Explicit | 13592 words

Louis and Harry were larry, until they broke up and weren’t. Years into the hiatus Louis finds himself in Philadelphia for a music festival, completely unaware that Harry has a show that night there too until fans start to freak out online. Louis has things to get off of his chest about their break up all those years ago and turns up to Harry’s concert without notice, leaving Harry in complete shock. Feelings overwhelm them both, leading to a night where they realise just how much they missed eachother...

19) With the Certainty Of Tides | Mature | 13980 words

“Love you,” Louis whispered in the dark. He didn’t know what time it was or where the light had gone, he knew that he was in Harry’s arms, basking in the afterglow of all their love and he’d be a fool to not tell Harry that. As if Harry didn’t know.

“Love you,” was whispered back, as if Louis didn’t know. They confessed to each other as if it was their first time saying it, raw and painful, and listened to it the very same way, but they knew those words to be the only ones true.

With all the certainty of the tides, with all the light from the sun, with all the steady beats of their hearts, they were deftly in love, in secret and so loudly. They were brave and fearless and strong and hopelessly devoted in every sense of their breaths.

“We made it, baby,” Harry mumbled, bringing their lips into a final kiss, sweet and soft and the color of pink. They already knew that, didn’t fight tooth and nail and argued through every petty year and bleed their hearts into the words they sang and on their skin for them to have not made it home.

They were home.

20) Bang Bang (My Baby Shot Me Down) | Not Rated | 16683 words

The one where Harry wants a little more in the bedroom and has a habit of putting his foot in his mouth.

21) Oblivious | Explicit | 19096 words

Where Louis gets a little crush on Luke and for some reason Harry starts acting weird.

22) Late Night Devil (Put Your Hands On Me) | Explicit | 20086 words

Harry Styles has always put up with him. With every snip of attitude, every idiotic act of stubbornness, every harsh and sour word. Each time Louis thinks he's stepped too far, clung too tight, bitten too hard, Harry is there to forgive him, to protect him, to hold him. Maybe he was naive to think that, no matter how hard he pushed, Harry would never move.

Maybe he should have seen it coming.

23) England Has My Bones | Explicit | 24087 words

The next time Harry thinks about calling, it’s 4.14 in the morning on a Parisian hotel balcony.

24) Pink In The Night | Explicit | 32324 words

His finger was tapping on Louis’ chat before Harry could even think about it, eyes reading over the last text he’d sent Louis. I miss you. Do you miss me?

Harry had felt so pathetic that December night, alone in the dark room of the Japanese apartment he’d been staying at, the strong smell of alcohol clinging to his clothes.

Louis hadn’t replied, but Harry wasn’t surprised; he had texted Louis a few times before while he’d been away, but there had never been a response.

It pained him to admit that this was their new normal.

25) What’s Mine Is Yours To Make Your Own | Mature | 39919 words

Sometimes, the closest Harry ever feels to home is Louis. It’s their shared hotel rooms on tour, their shoes toed off in the doorway next to each other, jackets hung on the same post. It’s everything he doesn’t notice until it’s been taken away from him.

Check out our other fic rec lists by category here and by title here.

[hardcasey]

Soft Hands, Soft Hearts

Won't Fade into the Background - Part 1

Pairing: Wooley x GN!Reader

Summary: You and Wooley have been pining for each other for a while, but after a few drinks at 79′s, you gain the courage to make the first move. 

Word Count: 3.3k 

Rating/Warnings: G, this is just pure fluff 🥺

A/N: Okay, so I had the idea to make a series devoted to giving the background clones the love they deserve. I have ideas for a bunch of different clones, but if their are any specific boys you are interested in, please let me know! I started with Wooley because I was feeling soft and he is baby (sorry, I don’t make the rules)  😤 This installment is fluffy af, but I have some ideas for a smutty follow-up if there is any interest. 

Also, a HUGE thank you to @delusionsxfgrandeur for both proofreading this and giving me the confidence to post it in the first place 💕

It had been months, but the 212th had finally returned to Coruscant after a particularly grueling campaign. The men, having received a week of well-earned shore leave, had barely gotten their feet on the ground before making a beeline to 79’s. Which is where you now sat, drunk off your ass amidst a sea of white and orange. 

You were an information officer attached to the 212th and had quickly befriended many of its members, a feat you accomplished just by treating them with the most basic level of respect and consideration. All it took was you remembering their names and sneaking them in a few treats before they were all following you around like a pack of lost puppies. It made you very protective over them, they all were such good, soft boys who deserved the world. Especially Wooley, the clone currently sitting next to you in the booth you had all squeezed into. 

He was younger then some of the other troopers like Waxer and Boil, still too shiny to have earned his colors yet. He was soft-spoken and somewhat shy, which only endeared him to you more. And he also had the softest, fluffiest looking hair you had ever seen, which he wore in an undercut that just accentuated the look for maximum poof. 

The only thought in your head right now was how much you wanted to run your hair through it. I bet it feels like a cloud, you thought drunkenly as you stared at him unabashedly, no doubt grinning like an idiot. You had your chin resting in your hand and started to loll your head back and forth, basking in the pleasant buzz of the alcohol coursing through your system. Evidently, it had started to affect your fine motor skills since your chin slipped from your palm and you bumped your nose hard against the rim of your glass. 

“Ow,” you winced as you rubbed your face, shooting a dirty look at Waxer as he snickered at you from across the table, drawing the attention of others. 

“Had enough?” Cody asked, cocking up his eyebrow at you with a smile, an expression he had no doubt picked up from General Kenobi. 

“Mmmh, I think this’ll be my last drink,” you replied, motioning to the half finished drink in front of you. You had reached the perfect level of drunkenness, just enough to leave you feeling carefree and happy without becoming too messy. The last thing you wanted was for one of the boys to have to drag your drunk ass back to your room, especially on their first night of leave. 

Wooley caught your eyes as you settled back down, and you shot him a broad smile that made his heart beat faster. He could feel his cheeks heat up slightly and he smiled timidly back at you before you turned back to Cody, the two of you falling into a playful back and forth. 

Wooley’s eyes fell to his hands, looking sheepish, and Boil chose that moment to kick him under the table. Wooley made an indignant noise at his vod’s antics, and was about to protest when Boil started darting his eyes at you repeatedly and mouthed ‘Talk to her’. 

His brothers could read the hesitation on his face because Waxer swooped in and said lowly, “She’s been staring at you all night, vod. She likes you!”

Both Waxer and Boil knew of his giant crush on you, and had launched a campaign to get the two of you together, much to Wooley’s embarrassment. The two of them were not subtle and the last thing he wanted was the two of them making a scene in front of you. He took a long drink of whatever alcohol was in front of him, hoping to quell his nervousness. 

With Wooley’s attention momentarily elsewhere, he missed the moment when Boil caught Cody’s eye and gave him a small nod. The Commander was also privy to their plans and masterfully steered the two of you’s conversation to Wooley’s recent accomplishments on the battlefield. 

“You should have seen it, he jumped right on top of the spider spider droid and took it out faster than I could blink, isn’t that right Wooley?” 

Wooley froze as you turned to look at him expectantly, barely managing not to choke on his drink. “Uhh, yeah,” was all he managed to come up with in response and he wanted to smack himself. Kriff, why was he so bad at this? 

You rattled off a couple more questions at him, which he answered in similar fashion, though if you were bothered by it you didn’t show it. He nervously ran a hand through his hair as he desperately wracked his brain for something, anything to say. 

Luckily, he was saved when you blurted out, “Can I touch your hair?” Apparently being drunk made you just say anything, huh, you chided yourself, hoping the booth would swallow you up whole. 

You were completely surprised when he stuttered out, “S-sure,” and scooted closer to give you better access. Reaching up and running your fingers through his thick curls, you found that it was in fact softer than a cloud, a thought which made you start to giggle uncontrollably. Your laughter was infectious because soon enough, Wooley was laughing too. 

You kept slowly playing with his hair, your hand sometimes wandering to the sides to feel the short hairs there. A shiver ran through his body at the sensation “That tickles,” he told you, eyes half lidded and words slightly slurred, though you couldn’t be sure if it was from the alcohol or something else.  

Your fingers paused. “Oh, sorry. I can stop if you want.”

You started to pull your hand away but he caught you around the wrist gently. “No!” he said, maybe a little too loudly. He winced slightly and then much more softly he said “I like it,” before placing your hand back on his head. 

You smiled and told him, “C’mere,” pulling him closer so that he could rest his head on your shoulder. “My arm was getting tired. This is much more comfy.” 

“Mmm,” he agreed as he shifted to settle against you. His  cheeks were still pink but he seemed much more relaxed now.

“So it sounds like you’ll be getting to paint your armor orange soon, huh?” 

His eyes brightened at that and your heart clenched at the proud look that washed over his face. “Yeah! I have a few ideas of how I’m gonna paint it, but I haven’t decided on a final design yet.” 

“What are some of them? I’ll help you make up your mind.” 

~~~

By the time you all left the bar it was early in the morning, but the streets of Coruscant were still packed with people, all hoping to enjoy the first day of the weekend. You and the rest of your group weaved through the throngs of people as you made your way back to the barracks. Being short, you had a harder time pushing your way through the people and almost got separated from the group before someone grabbed your wrist and tugged you back into the group. 

You stumbled towards whoever had rescued you, looking up to see it was Wooley. “Don’t wanna lose you,” he said gently and you felt your heart do a backflip. He had no business being this cute! None at all!

He hadn’t released your wrist yet, and maybe it was the alcohol making you braver than normal, but you decided to slip your hand into his. When he realized what you had done, he looked down at your joined hands and smiled up at you before the two of you raced to catch up with the rest of your group. 

When you finally arrived at the barracks, you were about to reluctantly pull your hand away when Cody said, “Wooley, why don’t you walk her back to her room, just to make sure she gets back safely. We don’t want to lose our favorite information officer.” 

“Uh, yes sir!” Wooley said with a salute, though he misjudged the force of his hand somewhat and thwacked himself in the eye instead. He was just thankful he had the alcohol as an excuse for his mistake, instead of the real reason, which was the look in Cody’s eyes that said ‘If you don’t ask her out tonight, you’ll be on latrine duty for a week.’ 

Without further ado, you bid the rest of the boys goodnight and started off towards your room, still hand in hand. Even though it was calloused, his hand was still so warm and nice against yours, and you never ever wanted this to end. You squeezed his hand lightly and your heart soared when you felt him squeeze back. 

The walk to your room was about a thousand hours too short and you quickly found yourself standing in front of the door. 

There was a beat of silence where the two of you just started at each other, both unsure of what to say. Wooley was racking his mind for a way to ask you out on a date, desperately hoping you couldn’t feel how sweaty his palm was. 

You beat him to it, though, and asked, “Do you have any plans for this week?” If you don’t I was thinking we could, um, do something together tomorrow.” Your bravery faltered somewhat halfway through, but it didn’t matter because his eyes lit up and he nodded back vigorously. 

“That sounds great!” 

“Okay! I’ll think of some places we can go and text you in the morning so we can decide.” 

“Great!” 

There was another beat while you had an internal debate with yourself. Did you kiss him? Should you ask or just do it? Should you wait to see if he kissed you?! Little did you know that Wooley was having the exact same debate in his head, only about 100 times more panicked. 

You decided that you had no more bravery left tonight and settled on running your hand up his arm and giving his bicep a little squeeze. “Goodnight! I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

“See you,” was all he could come up with as his brain short circuited. He watched with an awestruck expression as you went into your room, staring at the metal door in a daze for much longer than he’d like to admit. He realized he would look like a creep if he just hovered outside your room all night and quickly made his way back to the barracks with the biggest smile on his face. 

The door to the barracks slid open and he paused as he came face to face with all of his vode, who all turned to look at him as he walked through the door. Even Cody had yet to retire to his personal quarters. 

“Well, how’d it go?” Boil was the first one to break the silence and ask what everyone wanted to know. 

“She asked me out!” Wooley told them, still smiling broadly. 

The room was filled with cheers as all his brothers crowded around to congratulate him, patting him on the back and ruffling his hair affectionately. Despite all the attention, Wooley couldn't find it in himself to be embarrassed. 

~~~

“Try the other jacket,” Boil said from his perch on the top bunk. 

Wooley shucked off the jacket he was wearing and quickly slipped his arms through the jacket Cody held out to him. “How do I look?” 

“Hmm, let me see the first one again.” Boil’s eyebrows furrowed in concentration as he contemplated Wooley’s current outfit. They had been at this for the last twenty minutes, trying to figure out the best outfit for his date, which was happening in less than an hour. 

“There are only two jacket options! And you’ve worn both of them multiple times, Boil!” Wooley moaned. The clones didn’t have much access to civilian clothes and the few they had managed to commandeer - mostly from the Lost and Found in the Coruscant Guards’ office - were shared between the lot of them. There was even a clothes economy of sorts that had developed between the various squads. In fact, the jacket he was currently wearing had been Cody’s prize for beating Rex at a game of Sabacc a few cycles past. 

Wooley sighed before shooting Boil an apologetic look. He didn’t mean to sound unappreciative, after all his brothers had awoken early just to help him prepare, despite the hangovers they were undoubtedly nursing. He was just starting to feel nervousTM again. 

Cody put his hand on Wooley’s shoulder and gave it a reassuring squeeze. “You’re overthinking it, vod. Remember, she asked you out. She wants to spend time with you.” 

“Who asked who out, now?” came a voice from behind them. They spun around to find General Kenobi leaning against the doorway, a steaming cup of caf in one hand.

“Wooley has a date today!” Waxer blurted out, smiling smugly as his younger brother shot him a look before turning back to address the general. 

“They are, uh,  trying to help me pick out an outfit to wear.” 

“We can’t decide on a jacket, though,” Cody chimed in, holding the other option up for Obi-Wan to see. “What do you think, sir?” 

Obi-Wan’s eyes flickered back and forth, rubbing at his beard absentmindedly as he considered. “Actually, I have something in my quarters that’ll go well with the whole look. You can borrow it if you want, Wooley.” 

“Oh no, sir, I couldn’t poss-” Wooley started, but the general ignored his protests, already starting to drag him towards his room. 

Wooley stood ramrod straight in the middle of General Kenobi’s bedroom as the jedi rummaged around in his closet to search for the jacket in question. He wasn’t sure how he was supposed to act in this scenario, they had never covered it in training. Though he had learned that there were many things involving General Kenobi that he had been totally unprepared for. 

“I know it’s in here somewhere.” Obi-Wan’s voice was muffled from behind the wall of clothing. “Ah, here it is!” He exclaimed before making his way back to Wooley. He blinked owlishly at the poor trooper in front of him, who looked so stressed out he was beginning to wonder if he’d need to call a medic. 

“Is this your first time going on a date?” He asked gently as he helped Wooley into the jacket, spinning him around to fuss with the collar a bit. 

“Is it that obvious?” Wooley asked with a shy smile. 

“Everyone is nervous on their first date, don’t worry. I remember the first time I went out with someone. My hands were shaking so much I ended up accidentally spilling water all over them. Trust me, it gets easier,” he finished with a warm laugh. 

Wooley was included to believe him. General Kenobi seemed to have a lot of experience in the romance department. Or at least it seemed that way, what with all the people who fawned over him. Maybe he would have some good advice for the question that had been plaguing his every thought since last night. 

“Um, general, if I could ask… how do you go about, uh, kissing someone for the first time. I asked some of the others for tips and they all had different ideas, which just made everything more confusing.” 

“Honestly, my best advice is to just ask them if you can kiss them. Many people find that really romantic. Wait for a moment that feels right, like a lull in the conversation when you two are close together. But most importantly, don’t stress yourself out about it. If it happens it happens, and if not just wait for another chance,” Obi-Wan patted Wooley on the head affectionately. “Now you should probably get going, you’re meeting them in twenty minutes.” 

“How do you know-” He didn’t even get the question out.

“Cody.” Obi-Wan’s commander had come to him this morning seeking advice to give his little brother. 

“Cody,” Wooley smiled fondly. He’d have to thank his commander later. 

~~~

You were waiting on the sidewalk in front of the barracks, shuffling your feet awkwardly as your planned meetup time drew nearer. The two of you had decided earlier to spend time walking around one of the huge seasonal markets that was in town for a few days. You hadn’t gone on many dates before now and this morning had been a whole debacle, your roommate helping you pick out the perfect outfit for the occasion. You had eventually settled on something casual but still cute, and sighed with relief when you saw that Wooley had a similar idea. You were starting to worry that maybe you had gone too casual. 

All of your nerves melted away once you saw him, looking like an absolute snack in that leather jacket. You decided to tell him as much as you offered him your hand. 

“This is the first time I’ve seen you out of your armor. You look handsome. Love the jacket.” 

Thank the Maker for Obi-Wan, Wooley thought as he took your hand and squeezed it fondly. “You look really great too!” He told you as the two of you made your way to the taxi stand, both pointedly ignoring the eyes of Wooley’s brothers trying and failing to be discrete as they started at you through one of the windows. 

You two made your way downtown to the market, which was a place where people from every corner of the galaxy would come to sell their wares. It seemed to span multiple city blocks and was absolutely packed with people. The two of you flitted from one booth to the next, marvelling at the exotic wares in each one. As you shopped, you both ended up finding little trinkets and buying them for each other as a way to remember the day. 

Before you knew it it was lunchtime and stopped to grab some food from one of the many vendors. The two of you found a place to eat nearby a troupe of street performers, snuggling up to each other as you ate and watched the show. When you got up, Wooley kept his arm around your waist and you were so happy that you were pretty sure you could leap twenty feet in the air like you had seen some of the Jedi do. 

You passed by a stand selling cotton candy and could’t pass up the opportunity to see Wooley’s face when he tried it for the first time. You ripped off a big piece and held it out for him to try. 

“It dissolved!” He said excitedly and you were pretty sure there were actual stars in his eyes. 

As you and Wooley split the cotton candy, he thought back to what Obi-Wan told him and wondered if this was one of the moments he was talking about. You two were so close to each other and your lips were glistening pink with sugar and, Maker, he wanted to kiss you so badly right now. 

He had just opened his mouth to ask you when a nearby animal bleated loudly. Your head whipped in the direction of the noise and from between people’s legs you spotted a small white animal that looked so incredibly fluffy. 

“Oh stars,” you whispered, “It’s so cute. C’mon Wooley let’s get a better look!” 

Without waiting for an answer, you started to tug him in the direction of the ball of fluff masquerading as an animal. He was briefly disappointed at the missed opportunity but was quickly distracted by the adorable animal in front of him. It was some sort of sheep-looking thing, only neither of you had seen one so fluffy. It’s fur was so thick that you could barely make out its face, making it look like a cotton ball with four nubby legs sticking out of the bottom. 

Your head darted around looking for the owner because you had to pet it NOW. Your eyes landed on an elderly Ugnaught woman settled in a rocking chair. She was working on a knitting project, her knitting needles moving a mile a minute, and the displays around her were filled with bundles of plush looking yarn. 

You waved your hand to get her attention. “Hi! Is this your sheep? Can we pet it?” 

The old woman pushed the pair of thick, round glasses she wore higher up her nose as she spoke. “Of course, dearie. I have some food here if you’d like to feed her. Just cup your hands out like this and she’ll come right over.”

The woman poured some pellets into your outstretched hands and you quickly knelt down to offer it to the sheep. It let out another little bleat as it approached before promptly gobbling up everything with fervor. You giggled at her antics, her soft little tongue tickling your palms. 

“Baaaaaa,” she whined up at you once she had finished, and the old lady scolded the little animal for acting like she was starving when she had just eaten an hour ago. 

You turned to Wooley, who had been watching your interaction from off to the side. “Do you want to try feeding her too?” 

“I-I’ve never fed an animal before…” He said hesitantly. 

“Don’t worry, it’s easy. I can help you if you want.” When he nodded you told him to cup his hands and the woman poured some more food for him to give the sheep. You had him kneel down next to you and helped him hold his palm out, cupping your hand under his. When you felt him trembling slightly, you ran your thumb soothingly across his wrist. He turned to look at you and, oh maker he was so close, you could just lean in an inch and kiss him. But no, you couldn’t get distracted right now, you had a hungry little sheep to feed. 

You both turned back to the matter at hand and Wooley made a little noise in the back of his throat when the sheep came up to him, but he kept his hand out and the little animal started inhaling the food. “Ahh, it tickles!” Wooley gasped, a huge smile on his face. 

Once you were done giving her treats, the three of you settled down on the floor of the little tent, the sheep moving between your laps as you took turns cuddling it. You both ended up taking pictures of each other with the sheep and the old woman even offered to take a picture of both of you with the sheep. You sat there for a while, chatting with the old lady, who had lived quite the life and had many interesting stories as a result. The conversation trailed off and you sat with your head on Wooley’s shoulder, the only sounds around you were the din of the market and the clacking of the woman’s knitting needles. 

You peaked up at Wooley only to find him staring down at you. There was a beat before he suddenly asked, “Can I kiss you?” 

He was about to start berating himself internally for asking so awkwardly, but all his thoughts stopped when you breathed out a soft, “Please.” And then you were cupping his cheek and pressing your lips against his, and nothing mattered anymore. You let out a contented sigh against his mouth and he moved his hand to rest on your hip. 

You were both reluctant to separate, but a tug at your hair made you gasp and pull away, only to find the sheep chewing on a lock of your hair. Behind you, you heard a chuckle and you both turned to see the old woman looking at you both with a knowing twinkle in her eye. Both of your faces heated up as you realized you had just started kissing right in the middle of her store. The two of you started to apologize but she brushed it off with another laugh. 

“You know, there is a tree in a park a few blocks from here. They call it the Lover’s Tree. My husband and I used to sneak off there for a bit of privacy,” she told you with a wink. 

You thanked the woman profusely and even ended up buying some yarn as a thank you. Before you left, you both gave the sheep one more pat on the head before taking off and running towards the tree hand in hand.

[stellaangelica15]

Boruto: Sacrifices [Remade] | Chap.20 - Team Konohamaru's New Member?

Written by: Eleanor-Devil & @mirage-05​​

Prologue | Chap.1 | Chap.2 | Chap.3 | Chap.4 | Chap.5 | Chap.6 | Chap.7 | Chap.8 | Chap.9 | Chap. 10 | Chap.11 | Chap.12 | Chap.13 | Chap.14 | Chap.15 | Chap.16 | Chap.17 | Chap.18 | Chap.19 | Chap.20 - You’re here

And he had thought the day couldn't possibly become more challenging. Ichiro had just left the office, and he was just as much of a head case as he was the day before. The only difference was that now that he was officially the leader of the Sarutobi - which honestly was a concept Konohamaru was still trying to wrap his mind around - the teen had to act more reserved and respectable around him. Deep down, though, he couldn't help but feel like this was eventually gonna brew a rebellion sooner or later. It would take only a spark. So he was going to act very careful, so as not to make any mistakes. In other words, it was a battle of wills between himself and the clan's next heir. Lost in his thoughts, Konohamaru raised his head as he heard a knock on the door. "Come in." A chuunin walked into his office, a folded piece of paper in her hand. "Konohamaru-san," she said with a small bow, holding the paper out to him. "Lord Hokage wanted me to deliver this message to you." The brunet took the message. "Thank you." As the woman left, he quickly unfolded the paper and took a look at the handwriting. In a minute, he lowered his head in his palm with a sigh. Yep... this day indeed couldn't have turned out more challenging. ...

"I don't understand..." Sarada said with a small frown as she was walking beside Boruto. "Why would lord seventh ask to see us now?" "He didn't specify the details." the blond said, although he sounded a little... concerned, the Uchiha noted. It had been a little over a week since their friend fell into the coma, and they had never received a call from the Hokage's office since then. So both of the children were understandably... a little nervous. Although, as much as she couldn't put a finger on it... There was something different about Boruto, it was as if he was... expecting something, or else plotting something. She didn't know what that could possibly be but sometimes... the kind of determination and devotion scared the girl. Still... Sarada chose not to voice any of her thoughts as they came in front of the Hokage building. ... "WHAT?!" Naruto sighed and closed his eyes for a moment at his son's outburst. "Just calm down and listen, Boruto..." "Listen?! What is there to listen to, dad? You are telling us that you are replacing Mitsuki in the team!" "I am not." his father said patiently. "This is only a temporary mission. The boy who will be accompanying you has his own team..." "Then he should be sent with his own team!" "They are on a different mission right now." Boruto snorted out a sarcastic laugh. "What kind of a tactic is that dad? Since when have you been mix-matching teams?" "Lord seventh, please... I don't think we're really ready for a mission right now." Sarada said. "I might have reconsidered my decision if the situation wasn't urgent." The Hokage's voice was soft but it was obvious that he wasn't going to give in. "The ingredient you must recover is extremely rare and can only be collected at this time of the year, and since his grandson is the only one who can truly identify it... Teuchi-san asked for him to accompany this mission." Boruto crossed his arms and turned his back to his dad, his expression still very cross. "Find another team, dad." "Boruto..." "No, I'm serious dad!" the boy snapped, turning back furiously. "No matter how you cut it, it will still feel like he's just there as a replacement! And he will never be as good as Mitsuki!" He had to take a pause, breathing heavily because he had just delivered the speech in one breath. "Why are you doing this to us...?" he asked finally, his tone broken. In his eyes, this was nothing short of a betrayal. Naruto sighed again before getting up from his seat and approaching his son. "Boruto, Sarada... I know it's hard for you both but please have faith in me... I'm not doing this to replace Mitsuki at all... It was bec-" "Will there be any other missions like this?" his son cut in abruptly, his tone still tense but a careful look in his eyes, almost... calculating. It caught Naruto off guard for a moment, but he was quick to brush it off. "Not if there's another emergency, no." "Dad, this isn't the answer we're looking for." "But I can't give you guarantees on a matter that's out of my control. But... next time, I'll try to arrange a three-man mission, okay?" Sarada sighed a breath of relief at that, she wasn't really keen about this mission either... Boruto looked at his father for a moment, and Naruto saw that the look in his eyes, that calculating look, stayed in place... Was he... planning something? Before he could elaborate on it, though, Boruto huffed and unfolded his arms, bringing one of his hands to stretch his neck, avoiding his eyes. "Okay, okay... I'll do your mission." ... When they finally walked outside, they found their sensei was waiting for them... talking with the boy that would be 'accompanying' them. The first thing that could be said about him was... well, he was quite plain-looking. He had a thin build, not exactly skinny but not with many muscles to show. Blond, shoulder length hair framed a tanned face with brown eyes. He looks too much like me, Boruto decided as soon as they saw him, adding to his grumpiness. At least their original team had color variety. Seeing them, the boy broke into a pleasant smile. "Hello! Nice to meet you, I'm..." Boruto raised his hand to cut in. "I don't do introductions. We're only here for the mission, and that's that." The newcomer was clearly taken aback. "Uuuh..." "Boruto, be nice to him." Konohamaru said seriously. "This is Beika, and as you both know-" "I'm sorry, was it 'baka'?" "Boruto..." the brunet had a slight frown on his features now. "Eh? No, it's 'Beika', as in... baker?" "Are you trying to tell me-" "Why," Konohamaru cut in, loud, sensing that this wasn't going to end up well. "don't you quickly introduce yourselves before we start, too?" He looked pointedly at his two students. There was a moment of silence. "Uchiha Sarada." the girl finally spoke, and while her tone wasn't as hostile as Boruto's, it couldn't be clearer that she was not interested either. "Uzumaki Boruto, but you can just keep it in mind as 'stay away'." "You know," and finally... there was a frown on Beika's face, too. "You really don't have to take that tone with me." "Whatever." "Beika... let me have a quick word with these two." The boy nodded silently, his eyes still on the Uzumaki as Konohamaru drew the two friends away. "Now, listen to me," the jounin told them when they were out of earshot. "Beika didn't choose to be part of the team for this mission, Teuchi-san didn't specifically ask for our team to take it. Do you see where I'm going with this?" "He might be... as unwilling as we are?" Sarada asked. "That wouldn't be how I put it, since he's actually showing some effort to act as part of this team." Konohamaru cut in quickly when he saw Boruto was about to say something. "I know what you feel, but this is how it works in the shinobi world, sometimes you have to work with people other than your teammates. Especially after you become Chuunins.” At this point, he looked meaningfully at Sarada. “And well... since this is a very basic mission, I'm pretty sure it won't take too long. So please... behave." he finished, especially looking at Boruto. "Doesn't mean I have to enjoy it," the blond mumbled. The jounin sighed. "Boruto... Lord seventh arranged this mission so you two can ease your minds a little. It's temporary, Beika won't be here all the time for all the possible missions, and I know you better than this. So please..." "...behave. Yeah, okay, got it Konohamaru-onii-chan." Boruto said finally in a resigned tone, and this time the old epithet made the brunet actually smile a bit before ruffling his hair light-heartedly. ... "So... where are we headed to?" Beika smiled a little as he heard the noticeable change for the good in Sarada's tone. "We are headed to a small village on the other side of the hills a few kilometers away from our southern border." he replied. "The ingredient we're searching for must be of their native origin..." the girl deduced. "Yes, indeed. Actually, its origin is the snow country, but in this certain time of the year it can be-" "Yeah yeah, we got it, cut it short will you?" "Boruto, don't make me repeat myself." "What? I didn't say anything!" "Look, it's not my fault your friend isn't here." Beika started in a tone that was obviously trying to stay calm. Nobody said anything for a moment. "This... really isn't the best topic to bring up..." Sarada said, sweat dropping by the side of her cheek. It looked like the boy was going to say something else... but then he decided against it. They continued down the pathway, not speaking much with each other after that. ... They reached the village in about an hour. It was like they had stepped into another reality. Since it was the beginning of April, the weather was growing milder in Konoha. Certainly not this cold - at all. The place gave the friends the feeling that they had just stepped into a freezer. A middle-aged man with a pleasant expression greeted them at the entrance. "Welcome to Kanabiri," he said warmly as they came to a stop in front of him. "Sorry, we couldn't give you a warmer welcome... Got it? Warmer - because of the weather!" They tried their best not to look too awkward as the man laughed heartily at his own joke - all but Beika, who sweatdropped. "I see you still haven't improved your humor skills, Oyayama-san." "Beika, my boy," the man put a hand on Beika's shoulder, and with his size, the blond looked even smaller. 'What a joke,' Boruto thought grumpily. "It's been a while! Tell me about your grandfather." "He's doing quite good, thank you." "I thought you would come with the dog girl and that perma-grin boy?" Boruto and Sarada just looked at each other, trying not to roll their eyes. This team sounded weirder and weirder each passing second. "No, we got separated. This is Uzumaki Boruto, Uchiha Sarada and Sarutobi Konohamaru-sensei." Oyayama shook their hands in turn. "Nice to meet all of you. Please make yourselves at home while we make the last preparations. There is a small celebration going on right now in the village actually." And sure enough, they could hear music coming from not too far away. "Thank you, we will enjoy that." Konohamaru said pleasantly. Well... Boruto had other plans. ... They had been enjoying the celebrations - which were apparently for a wedding that would take place in the evening. She was trying to be open-minded about Beika, coming to terms with the fact that it wasn't his fault what they had been going through, and finding out that he is actually a person whose conversation she could enjoy. But of course Sarada noticed the absence of the familiar presence of her childhood friend. "Umm, sensei..." she approached Konohamaru, trying to be discreet about it. "Do you know where Boruto is?" "Hm? No, I haven't seen him in a while," the brunet replied, but he didn't seem so worried about it. "I wouldn't worry, though, he's probably somewhere around the village." "True... I just..." the girl bit her lower lip. "What is it, Sarada?" her sensei asked, still not really concerned but slightly bothered by her behavior. "Something just doesn't feel right." she concluded a little bit sheepishly. Before Konohamaru could say something, Oyayama approached them. "Konohamaru-san, everything is ready to go." "Thank you for your cooperation," Konohamaru said, and then looked around. "Now if we can find Boruto..." "Oh, he's not here." Oyayama's daughter chirped in from beside him, which left everyone baffled for a second. "What do you mean?" Sarada asked, immediately going into alarm mode. "He said something about a secret mission," the girl continued brightly, not aware of how they suddenly became tense. "Kaa-san was teaching us about some herbs and he asked about... umm, the name was..." "It was the Okanouchi flower," came a female voice behind the girl as her mother walked forward. With that word, Oyayama turned to look at her, a slight frown on his face. "Wait, I thought that flower went extinct a few years ago?" "That's what I tried to tell him," the woman replied, looking at her husband. "True, the plant's healing substances are still used as components of all kinds of medicine, but it's not as effective as the original. The plant itself..." "Healing?" Konohamaru asked, his eyes widening. "That was its main purpose, yes." Sarada didn't need any help to catch up to her sensei. "Sensei, we need to find him..." she said, worry evident in her onyx eyes. It was taken to a different level now - she was hoping that they would find Boruto before he had to suffer a big disappointment. "And we will." the jounin said firmly. "Ma'am, any ideas of where he could go to search for this... plant?" "Wait, do we need to find him immediately?" Beika asked, frowning a little himself. "I mean, it's not like he's in danger, and we need to take the ing-" "Are you seriously even comparing these situations?" the Uchiha asked unbelievably. "Well I'm sorry but there IS a reason why the mission couldn't be postponed." "Well I'm sorry to say that right now, I don't give two-" "We can arrange for the ingredients to last longer," Oyayama put in helpfully. "Thank you, we will take it," Konohamaru said before turning to Beika. "I understand your concern, but we don't leave anyone behind. I'm pretty sure this is not your sensei's way of teaching, so do comply with us." When the blond didn't say anything to that, the brunet turned to Oyayama's wife. "Please give us more information about that location." ... He was getting close. It was more of a gut feeling rather than actually knowing the territory. It felt like he couldn't do this wrong, he couldn't have mistaken or miscalculated anything, this was the chance he was waiting for, the thing he had planned all along. Of course, Boruto was quite aware of the fact that he was going to hear from Konohamaru-sensei for abandoning a mission, but he didn't really care right now. Realizing that he had almost reached the mountain top - his destination - the blond started paying closer attention to his surroundings. The plant in description sounded quite... plain, except for some details. It was a brilliant cyan in color, but the trickiest part was the leaves. From noon to two pm each day they were glowing with a barely noticeable hint of gold. It was fifteen minutes to two, so he had to be quick. Luck was by his side. He indeed came upon a cluster of light blue flowers by the riverside he was climbing. Coming to an immediate stop, excited, Boruto knelt down. These weren't the flowers he was looking for. This continued on for a while as the blond continued moving up the mountain side, looking at every group of blue flowers he could find, growing more and more desperate with each one of them. There was always something missing, something wrong that disqualifies the plant as the one he needed. "No..." he mumbled as he picked another flower, turning it in his hand to look at every detail. "No, no..." In his frustration, he tore the petals apart. "Boruto...!" he then heard a voice. He immediately jumped back on his feet and sprinted forward again, he didn't want to be interrupted right now! He still had a little time... "Boruto!" a different, more commanding voice then sounded, but the blond still acted like he couldn't hear any of them. It was finally someone grabbing him, tight, from behind that forced the pre-teen to stop. However, Boruto didn't stop trying to move out of his sensei's embrace. "Let me go!" he yelled in frustration. "Boruto..." Konohamaru's voice was decidedly soft. "I'm sorry kid..." "No... if you just let me go, we still have time..." Boruto tried again, growing desperate. Why couldn't he understand?! Time was precious - they couldn't afford to lose any! "Boruto... what you're looking for is extinct, you can't find any by just looking around..." "I can!" the boy yelled again. "Just - just let me go, I know I can fix this, Konohamaru-nii-chan, PLEASE!" That was when his eyes landed on his female teammate, and hope was rekindled in him. "Sarada... Sarada, you - you know this is real - you read about it right?! You believe me, right?!" There was nothing but sorrow in the girl's eyes, it was hard for her to watch her friend in this state... "Boruto, I-I'm sorry... Sensei is right... Okanouchi went extinct-" "No! Just - dammit!" the blond started heaving in deep breaths, coming closer to hyperventilating. "Please... we don't have time... we don't... we..." Konohamaru just hugged him tighter with his words. "Are you dense?" The voice was harsh, no sympathy whatever in it. Konohamaru felt Boruto tense in his arms, but none of the members of Team Konohamaru said anything. "What were you thinking, endangering a mission to chase after something everyone knows is gone for good?" Their blond companion was seething... not the cheerful boy they had seen in the beginning. "Beika," the jounin was frowning now. "It is not your place to tell Boruto off, I will do it myself if I find it necessary." "Well I'm sorry but when will it be necessary?!" "Don't take that tone with my sensei..." Boruto said in a low voice, frowning slightly. "I mean yeah, I got it, you somehow believe that I'm here to take your friend's place but you know what? I didn't want any of it! If I could, I would go with my friends! And maybe next time you should tell your friend not to make such dumb deci-" Konohamaru was too concentrated on holding Boruto. It didn't even register to him that someone else moved first. WHAM! Both the boy and the jounin's eyes widened a little at the usually calm Sarada's reaction. The Uchiha was practically shaking with fury as she continued looking at Beika, her hand with which she pulled the punch still in the air. The boy was also looking at her, appalled, one hand on his cheek. "You... I've had enough of you!" the girl exclaimed, her tone furious and heated. "Do you have even the slightest idea of what it means to have someone you hold dear in a very critical condition and you don't know what will happen next?! Do you know what desperation feels like?! Do you even have a heart?!" "I-" "Save it. I want nothing more than to complete this stupid mission so I will never have to see your face again." "I bet you were one of those who kept harassing Mitsuki." Boruto said, his tone just as cold. "Excuse me? I wasn't even in Konoha this past week!" "Yeah, right." "That's quite enough." Konohamaru's voice cut in, serious and stern. "We end this mission right now. We're returning to Konoha and... I don't think I have to say that my report is gonna be full of disappointment. I expected much better from all of you." The genins didn't say anything to that, but none of them were looking at each other... ... "Log, I understand your concerns but... you know as well as I do that this is not the first time Orochimaru-sama disappeared for this long." Karin was sitting in one of the lounge chairs in the attendance room, one of her hands resting on her growing belly, her red eyes on the young man standing in front of her. The oldest son - or in this case, clone - Orochimaru created was clearly in distress - although he didn't show any physical signs of it, the redhead knew him long enough to know. "I know that." Log said curtly, tense. "But something is wrong... Don't you think he would be back from Konoha by now? A week is too long for a village that supposedly doesn't trust him." The woman sighed at that, the young man was indeed talking about her worries in the passing time... In all honesty, she had been restless for a couple of days, too, pacing around, constantly sighing... It had only been for her boyfriend's sake that she had been trying to keep it under control, what with Suigetsu warning her from time to time to not get overly-stressed (who would have thought he could become such a good father even before the baby was born anyway)... But the worries were there, hidden deep. "Well...?" Log was impatient, her silence was clearly frustrating him. Karin closed her eyes for a minute before opening them again and getting up. "Follow me." Together they walked (or in Log's case, stormed) towards the exit of the hideout. Juugo and Suigetsu were outside, doing some spar out of boredom, because without Orochimaru here, there wasn't much to do other than the routine things, which didn't take much time. "Juugo," she called, walking up to them and crossing her arms as a serious expression crossed her face. "This is getting ridiculous, we want to know right now what is taking Orochimaru-sama so long. Do your thing." "My thing?" the orange haired man straightened up from his spar position. "What do you mean Karin?" "She is being paranoid... again." said Suigetsu, looking at the pregnant woman. "She thinks that something happened but I've told her a thousand times that everything is fine, it's not like it's the first time Orochimaru leaves without saying anything..." He looked at Log. "Have you been feeding her anxiety, kid?" That earned him a glare. Pregnant or not, Karin's temper was still there and... you could say it was ten times worse because of the mood swings. Suigetsu only knew what was coming when he felt something hit him hard on the head. "I dare you to call me paranoid again, Suigetsu! Do I have to remind you that I'm carrying YOUR baby?!" "Hey!" the white haired man quickly stood up. "Do I have to remind you that you agreed with having a baby too?" "Cut it out, you two." Juugo said, his eyebrows slightly furrowed. Now that he thought about it... Yeah, he would say he had stock in the worry department himself. Orochimaru had said he was going to meet Mitsuki... and since he wasn't allowed in Konoha, him being away for a week, well... It was not exactly comforting. He sighed. "Alright, I'm gonna try to learn if there's anything new from the birds." "Bird-whisperer," Suigetsu said in an undertone, to which the orange haired man just rolled his eyes. Then the white haired man looked at his girlfriend. "Look, go inside and settle down, will you? We will tell you if we learn something new." But the red haired woman was not about to do it so easily. "Suigetsu, I am not leaving until Juugo says something... I am worried about Mitsuki and if you try to hide anything from me, I swear I will track Orochimaru's chakra on my own." And there she was trailing again... Juugo was not listening to the couple anymore, he was staring at the sky as he waited for a bird to come. And it did, not one but two of them who landed safely on his hand. His dark orange eyes stared at the birds as they began chirping. The couple and Log watched on, not interrupting anymore as he listened to whatever the birds were chirping about. Suigetsu noticed it first, though, being nearer to the man, when he noticed his eyes widening slightly. "Good lord..." Juugo whispered to himself, his free hand balling into a fist. Hearing the man's words, Karin quickly approached him, worry suddenly filling her eyes. "What? What is it, Juugo?!" her voice sounded more anxious than she had actually wanted to show. "What happened?" Karin suddenly coming to the point of freaking out, Suigetsu felt the need to once again intervene, although he knew very well that it might end up in blood, and he was worried by Juugo's reaction himself. "Whoa, whoa, take it easy." he said, trying to calm her down. "Suigetsu, I swear something will break if YOU don't drop this attitude, and I'm not talking about pregnancy issues," Karin snarled. "What did you learn, Juugo?" she insisted, turning to the orange haired man. "Just spill it already!" Log, who had been silent for a while, finally burst out. The taller man allowed the birds to fly away before he dropped his arm, Karin noticed how his eyes hardened more than ever as he turned around to face them. "Something... really bad happened to Mitsuki..." The whisper was all the contrary to the man's hardened features... the whisper came out barely making it to the other two's ears... Karin hadn't really noticed that she had forgotten how to breathe, stuck in the endless moment of Juugo's declaration as his words echoed in her mind. Suigetsu was staring at Juugo, trying to wrap his mind around what he had just said, but his mind and body sprang into action when he saw Karin swaying on her feet. He caught her before she could fall to the ground. "Hey, easy, dammit..." He looked up at Juugo again. "Wha... what happened?" "He..." there was a lump in his throat. "He was attacked on the way here... the birds said that those who attacked him were going to attack Konoha. He engaged them into a fight and... got really hurt." He eyed Log and an already weakened Karin, he didn't know how to say the rest... but he had to. "He is in a coma..." With that, the older brother didn't even stay to listen for more... In less than a second, without saying a word to them, he had sprung to the trees, disappearing out of sight. When she heard that last word, Karin couldn't hold it back anymore. A sob escaped her mouth as she brought her hand to her mouth, tears falling down her face. "I knew it... I knew something happened, I knew it..." she whispered to herself, shaking slightly with the sobs. She had felt her heart tug a week ago, she didn't know why but she immediately felt it was about Mitsuki, something in her heart and head had immediately thought of the light blue haired boy that she had practically raised as her own child... and now she knew it was true... As she wiped her tears away and slowly released herself from Suigetsu's grip, she took a few steps before looking at the two men. "I want to go there." she said. "I want to go to Konoha." "We can't just show up at the border and demand them to let us see him, we are not allowed into the village, either..." Suigetsu said, as much as he wanted to go too, there was something called being reasonable. "I would like to see anyone denying me the right to see my baby boy," Karin snapped. "We are going to Konoha, now, and that's that." Juugo didn't say anything, Karin was already acting like a mother, it was just instinct and he knew nothing would stop that woman from going to see Mitsuki. "Very well, let's go then." They would think of a way to get inside the village somehow... Of course it would not be as easy as the last time they had done it was back when the Great Fourth Ninja War was happening.

[flying-nightwing]

Decorum (2/3)

Part 1 > Part 3 

Pairing: Dick Grayson x reader (ish), Jason Todd x reader

Word count: 4010

Warnings: same as part 1 + violence

Summary: When it all went down, your knight in shiny armour was the last person you wanted to see.

It was the first sun rays peeking through the lazily closed blinds that woke Dick up from his sleep. Barbara wasn’t there, but he still smiled. She had to work early, but she still allowed him to spend the night with her despite how tired she’d be in the morning. If only he didn’t have to hide her, if only she could replace… 

He rolled his eyes. His wife--it left a not so good taste in his mouth when he said the word--had tried to call him when he was with Barbs, almost ruining the mood. Almost. He had just turned off his phone after the third call, certain that whichever matter she called to complain about could wait to the morning. With sleep still in his eyes, he reached for his phone and turned it on, knowing he’d have to face her wrath for ignoring her calls eventually. But what he definitely wasn’t prepared for was the sheer amount of notifications on his lock screen. He blinked awake and took it all in.

13 missed calls and 4 new voicemails from: wife

2 missed calls and 2 voicemails from: Todd

His eyebrows knit together as he listened to Jason’s messages first. All of this was… Unusual.

“Grayson. You’re such an asshole you know that? Take your fucking responsibilities for once”

Dick rolled his eyes. Did Jason call him just to say that? Well, he wouldn’t be surprised. He skipped to the next message.

“You let your fucking wife get back home by foot for some pussy, and now she doesn’t call me back. She should have been home by now but I can’t reach her. Fix this”

Hold on, hold on. You went there by car, not by foot. And you called Jason? His growing confusion compelled him to quickly switch to your messages as unease settled in his guts. You usually never called, especially not his brothers. And never 13 times either.

“Dick, uh, it’s me. My car has broken down on the road 49, about twenty minutes drive from the mansion. I tried a taxi but I’m literally in the middle of nowhere. Could you pick me up? … Call me when you get this”

Uh. He pressed the next one.

“Dick. It’s me again. Don’t bother coming, I’m walking home. Hope you have fun tonight”

There was your snark. He rolled his eyes, figuring you were just too pissed at him to call back Jason. But still, he pressed next message.

“Dick, I think I’m being followed. Please call me if you get this”

This one didn’t sound like you. Well, it was your voice, but he had never heard it like this before. It was nervous, even terrified. You did not do emotional vulnerability, not ever, so something must have felt wrong. But he told himself you had just been paranoid, and that you were safe and sound home. With hesitation, he went to your last voicemail.

“Someone’s behind me. They’re gaining on me and--”

It was followed by a thud, then silence. His ears were ringing as he hurried to dial your number, it must have been a prank to get back to him. Yes, you wanted to scare him to get back at him, nothing more. But you didn’t answer. Not on the first call, not on any call. 

He jumped out of bed and hurried to dress, not bothering if he looked like a mess. At this moment he assumed the worst, and a gut feeling told him he was right.

---------

You woke up with pain in your wrist and your neck, and a blurry vision that didn’t allow you to see exactly where you were just yet. But as the previous night events came back to you, you understood that wherever you were, it wasn’t home, and you were in danger. A man was sitting in front of you, observing you. He had graying hair and an eyepatch, but what stood out was the blade in his hands, casually resting on his thigh. No, this can’t be happening. 

“Good morning miss Grayson”

You felt tears prick your eyes as you tried to look anywhere but at him. “If it’s money you want, I’ll give it to you, I swear--”

“No, no” He interrupted you softly. “I have enough money, I don’t care about yours or your husband’s for that matter”

You frowned in confusion. Beside your money, you didn’t do anything to piss off anyone. “Then why am I here?”

He took a moment, observing you curiously. He leaned on his chair and stroked his beard. “I want to talk to you about your husband” He began. “Him and I have unfinished business”

Your heart sank at his words. Not only Dick made your life miserable every single day of your life, but now he would get you killed. You didn’t want to die, not like this, not because of Dick. You felt the tears run down your cheeks as he grabbed a folder on the table beside him and drew out a picture. He held it in front of your face, forcing you to look at it. It was taken through a window, in a less than ideal angle, but the image was clear enough to know exactly what was going on.

Dick, shirtless with Barbara on his laps kissing like there was no tomorrow. 

You didn’t flinch, you only looked away. The man observed you some more before he clicked his tongue, lowering the picture and putting it away.

“You knew already”

“Yeah well” You spat in half shame, half anger, avoiding looking at him. You knew of it, it still didn't make it hurt any less to see the visual proof of him actively choosing someone else. More tears, only tears, to blur away the mental image. You shook your head and sniffed. “You’ve got the wrong person if you’re trying to hurt him. He doesn’t love me, never did and never will”

Once again, he decided not to answer just yet but to keep staring at you. It was creepy, it seemed like he was trying to read right through you. There was a fascination in his eyes, like he couldn't quite get your character, but he was working on it. He tilted his head to the side and hummed.

“But you wish he did” He spoke in wonder. “Don't you?”

You gritted your teeth at his affirmation, one you had refused to admit to yourself for so long. God, had you wished you would be the one he smiled to. He was attractive, and the smile he reserved for those around you--but never you--made you wish you could make him happy. You had tried so hard to be pleasant, to be someone he could settle with despite the circumstances, Lord knows you did. You knew he was funny from his lively conversations with Tim and Damian you overheard, and loving from his complete devotion to Barbara. But all he had ever shown you was coldness and disappointment, and the feeling that you would never be enough. Your kidnapper was right and you hated it.

“Just… Get it over with” You mumbled, knowing you were no use anymore to him now that the truth was out. “He won't come for me. Better not waste your time on someone that doesn't matter to him”

“I don't know if this is ironically funny or just sad” He sighed, standing up from his chair and walking to a small table some feet away. “Almost makes me feel sorry for what's to come”

He came back toward you with a sharp looking blade, and that's when you started to truly panic. You thought downplaying it would make it let you go, but he was determined to hurt him through you. And this time, it would get physical.

“Since blackmail didn't work, let's try something else that might”

------

Jason sat on the counter, staring at Dick pace around in the kitchen. His legs were dangling, itching to kick him every time he passed in front of him. But he didn't, not yet anyway. It was the most he's ever seen his half brother concerned for his wife. Actually, it was the first time he's seen him concerned for her at all. That was new, and Jason was doubting his motive. 

"It's probably Slade" Dick finally spoke. "No ransom note, silence radio. It must be him"

"Duh" He rolled his eyes, and Dick glared at his nonchalance.

"My wife's been kidnapped" He deadpanned. "Aren't you going to help?"

"Tell me" Jason jumped off the counter, ignoring the question. He went and grabbed the orange juice and took a sip. "How many times did you wish, and I quote, to get rid of her for good?" 

"It's not the time to be smug" Dick grunted, knowing very well he was at fault there. He had ignored his wife in time of need to, as Jason so eloquently put it in his voicemail, get some pussy. "We need to find her"

"We?" He raised an eyebrow. Dick had called him in a frenzy earlier, and he had came back as soon as he could to Gotham. But it was not for his brother that he did, far from it. "I think you misunderstood. I'm here to guilt trip you until you fix your mess, then provide her moral support while you go fuck yourself"

Dick stopped in front of Jason and squared up at the challenge hanging on his words. Despite Jason being slightly taller, he didn't back down. Finally, he stomped away, leaving his brother to take a long sip of the carton in his hands. 

"I hope Barbs was worth it!"

"Fuck you!"

--------

"One cut on her pretty face for each hour you don't show up"

The words on the video he sent your husband keep replaying in your head, over and over again as it was the only thing you could even think about. The burning of his blade was still very much present on your skin where he had made the first cut, it wasn't too deep but enough to make it bleed down your cheek. The salt of your tears created a displeasing tingle where the skin had been severed, and at that moment you were convinced you would die here, disfigured by a maniac who had against your husband. You were tired, in pain and all you wanted was to be back home, alone in your little universe. 

You pictured your favourite book of the moment on the table, the one right under the windows that would let the sun in. You'd have a coffee and a bowl of cherries, and you would spend afternoons reading to get your mind off everything. The story would more often than not be about this woman and a brooding, charming love interest learning to love each other through adversity. They would always end up together, happy forever after. 

Oh, did you wish to be them. 

But you never could. You never could because Dick never would. He was stubborn, he didn't care for you. In his eyes, you were the woman who ruined his life and nothing more. He had been with another woman for the entire duration of your marriage, and his affair had lead you to be kidnapped. His carelessness lead you here, and he probably didn't even want to come for you. You'd only be finally out of his way, and Gotham would only make him a martyr out of it. Two birds one stone, as they say. 

"Two hours, miss Grayson" 

You tried to wriggle out of your restraints as your kidnapper stalked toward you with the same blade he had made the first cut. But it was pointless, you weren't strong enough to fight him. So you were left to scream as the sharp metal pierced your skin just above the last mark. 

And that's when glass shattered all around you. The blade paused in your skin for a second before leaving it, before the man let go of you completely. A blur of black and blue passed in front of your eyes and jumped on the one eyed man, attacking him in a way you could only assume as brutal. While you were trying to make sense of what was happening in front of your eyes, someone else crouch at your side. You were about to scream, but you felt the restraints on your wrist being cut free, then on the other side as well.

The first thing you saw when you dared to look beside you was a leather jacket, a familiar one. Without thinking twice, you threw your arms around Jason, holding tight. 

"Come on darling, we need to get out of here" He muttered, helping you up on your feet. 

"Wait-- We gotta…" You tried to turn around, but Jason wouldn't let you. "He has…"

"Grayson will be fine" He scoffed as you felt your head spin. The sudden movement made you dizzy, and you felt yourself falling unconscious. "Oh shit"

The last thing you saw before blacking out was Jason hurrying to catching you before you hit the floor.

------

Dick had driven you to the hospital. He hadn't accounted on Jason showing up, and he was surprised he hadn't taken the matter in his own hands and drove you here himself. But Jason understood it would raise less questions if an actual detective brought you back, especially since the whole city had been made aware of your kidnapping. So he left the honors to Dick, knowing there would be plenty other occasions to turn the knife in the wound. 

You were still unconscious, but the doctors had said you would make a full recovery. You were just really dehydrated, and probably in shock after the events. Dick was sitting at your side, rehearsing in his head his apology to you. He didn't know where to begin, he hadn't expected to feel remorses at all. He didn't even know why he cared about getting you back; at first, he thought it was for the same reason he became Nightwing, or even Robin in the first place. Because he had to help you. Because he wouldn't Slade walk all over him. The feeling was supposed to go away once he got you to safety, it was supposed to be gone by now. But staring at your unconscious form now, it only grew worse. He had done his job, so why was he staying by your side? Why was he feeling so bad about it? 

It made him think about that one time you helped him clean his wounds. It had been a tough night with the guys, and he hadn't had the energy to fight with you. He was bruised and battered, and you had walked on him trying to disinfect a cut on his back. You hadn't said a word as you had gently grabbed the swab in his hands, and had done all the work for him. You had never asked questions about Nightwing, nor had you ever told his secret. Why didn't you? Why had you tried so hard to be nice to him when he was a jerk? Why couldn't you be a jerk too and make it easier?

He remember the look in your eyes a few nights ago when you had snapped. It was like everything holding you back had disappeared, like he had pushed you over the edge. He had been trying to do that for so long, but it hadn't felt as good as he had hoped. He had felt bad, even. He knew your public image was literally all that you had left, and he was trying to sabotage it as well. He realized now how horrible he had been. Why did he do that? Why? How had he been so afraid of exploring outside the safe zone Barbs provided him, that it made him actively ruin someone else's life?

He glanced at you and took a deep breath. He would make it right this time. He wanted to make it right--

"Howdy, Dick in Chief" 

His head snapped toward the door, where Jason stood with that look on his face, letting him know he was in for some shit eating. Dick rolled his eyes and sat back in the chair facing you. “What the fuck are you doing here?”

“Well, isn’t it obvious?” Jason shrugged, taking this as an invitation to come in. Not that he needed one, he would have came in no matter his answer. “I’m here for her. I doubt you’re the face she wants to see when she wakes up. Mine’s better anyway”

Dick sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. “Why do you even care?” He asked. “Last time I checked you didn’t like her any more than I did”

“You should check more often then” He hummed, stopping at the foot of the bed and sending you a glance. “I thought she was only one of your stuck up fan girl, but turns out she’s actually nice. And that ass…”

Dick glared at him, and he held up his hands in surrender.  

“Why do YOU care?” He turned the question around. “It’s past ten. Shouldn't you be inches deep in Barbs right now anyway?”

“Fuck you Todd!”

“All I’m saying is that you missed your chance, Dick Supreme” He leaned on a rolling pole, then stumbled back upright when his weight pushed it back. He looked behind him at it, then shook his head and returned his attention on his brother. “She got kidnapped because you were out fucking your girlfriend instead of landing a helping hand for once. There’s no coming back from that, so why don’t you take the night off and let Jay Bird handle it uh?”

Dick stood up wordlessly and stomped out of the room, sending you one last glance before disappearing behind the door frame. Jason watched him go, waited a few seconds more and sighed. “How long have you been awake?”

Slowly, you opened your eyes and nodded a silent thank to Jason not to have revealed that you were listening. Dick couldn’t even notice you had woken up, but it didn’t surprise you. You couldn’t bring yourself to care about it. “About 20 minutes, I don’t know”

Jason plopped in the seat beside your bed previously occupied by his brother and smiled at you. “Was I right?”

You nodded again. The last person you wanted to see right now was Dick.

“Thanks for saying I’m nice” You chuckle came out rasped, but it was still light. “And whatever about my ass… I guess”

“Only the truth for you” He winked, and your chest shook in silent laughter. He sat back in satisfaction, with that little grin on his face. Always the best at making you feel better. “You know what, you should have married me instead of golden dick”

“Oh?” You raised an eyebrow in amusement. You knew the whole city would have exploded if it had been him instead of Dick two years ago--he knew it as well--but you wanted to see what joke he would spin out of this shameless flirting.

“Hm mmh” He leaned forward toward you. “I mean, faithfulness wouldn’t have been guaranteed, I guess that’s a given in both scenario, but at least, I would have made it fun”

You couldn’t help but laugh, even though it stung the bandaids on the side of your face. Leave it to Jason to make light of the disaster that was your marriage to Dick Grayson. 

“Why are you laughing? It’s true” At this point, he was laughing too. You hadn’t seen him laugh before, but it was a nice change of pace for once. “There’s a line up for this piece of heaven, but I swear it would have been all yours first”

“Jesus” You dropped your hand on your belly as you caught back your breath. 

“Jason, darling, not Jesus” He corrected. “But hey, I’m flattered you confuse me with the saviour of humanity”

“You dork” You lightly punched his shoulder, and he pretended to recoil like he was actually hurt. “How did I--”

You stopped talking as your eyes caught the TV broadcast in the background. The sound was muted but they were talking about you, your picture and name in bold letter on the screen. Reluctantly, you turned on the sound, ignoring Jason’s weak protests. The smiles and laughter had dropped, and you knew by his now silence that you wouldn’t like what they would show next. Your heart dropped, hoping it wasn’t what you thought it was, but knowing better.

“... The kidnapping of the Gotham socialite wasn’t the only scandal linked to the Wayne family in this tragedy. Anonymous source delivered incriminating pictures of Mr Grayson having an affair with a woman whose face was blurred by whoever took them, which begs the question, was miss Grayson’s disappearance about jealousy, or as a payback for--”

Jason finally had enough and grabbed the remote from your hands, turning off the TV. The one secret you had fought so hard to keep buried had came to the light, just like that. You looked down and sighed, knowing you were done for. Reporters, other high people of Gotham, anyone, would see you as the wife who got cheated on. The wife that couldn’t be enough. And the worst, all the blame would fall again on you, and you only.

“I guess this is what you were trying to tell me back there” Jason rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m sorry, darling”

“Not your fault” You mumbled after swallowing the lump in your throat. You couldn’t stay in Gotham anymore. You needed to get out as soon as possible, before--

Someone clearing their throat made you and jason turn toward the door frame, where Dick had a guilty expression on. You guessed he had witnessed the broadcast, but couldn’t see why he seemed to feel so bad about it. Wasn’t it what he had tried to do since day one?

“Can… Could I talk to you?” 

You broke eye contact with your husband to nod at Jason, telling him to leave you two for a moment. Turns out, you needed to talk to him to, briefly. Jason nodded back and stood up before leaving the room, but not before bumping into Dick on his way out. Your husband carefully made his way to the chair and took his place back by your side.

“I wanted to say that I’m sorry, for everything. For treating you like shit, for sabotaging you, for hurting you and for getting you in the crossfire of my mistakes” He dove right in, but you weren’t impressed. You crossed your arms against your chest and looked down. “I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but I’m still asking for it, if you can give it. If not, I won’t hold it against you”

You took a deep breath, and hope filled his eyes. But then, it dropped as soon as it came when you shook your head. “I’m not sure if I could, not now, maybe not ever”

He swallowed.

“I’m going away, I… I need some time” You nodded to yourself. “I need to be out of Gotham and think about myself for a bit”

“Yes, I understand, whatever you need” His voice sounded too hopeful for the truth you knew inside. A pause settled as you debated telling him you didn’t plan on coming back, ever, but he spoke before you could decide. “... Do you think there could be ever a chance for me to make it up to you?

You couldn’t meet his eyes, and you didn’t have the heart to break him like he did to you. You just wanted out as soon as possible, as far as possible from him. He didn’t need you, he just felt bad and you couldn’t go through the same song all over again.

“I don’t know, Dick. I don’t know”

[solange-lol]

who is he (and what is he to you?) - ch. 1/3

words: 1,720

solangeloweek day 1: fathers day

read on ao3

Will Solace has never been nervous to travel. 

He used to go on vacations with his mom when they could afford it, although most of those were road trips. Then, when he got older and started working for the magazine company he currently works for, he was sent on all sorts of business trips. Will got used to traveling; used to flying and being in different places every couple of nights.

It’s less the plane ride that he’s nervous for and more the actual reason why he’s going. Yes, it is technically a business trip, but its a business trip to Texas and Will thinks he’s found his father. The one that walked out of their house when he was barely a year old and never looked back. The one that never sent birthday cards or went to Will’s graduation, who didn’t even attempt to contact Will once he was older. 

It was an accident, really, that he found his father. 

Of all things it was an ad on his Instagram feed that popped up, promoting a touring band called Apollo with lead singer Lester Papadopoulos. Seeing his father’s name not spoken from his mother for the first time was a bit of a shock.

The universe had a cruel sense of humor though, or so it seemed, as their gig in Austin, Texas lined up right as Will was headed there for a business trip slash unplanned reunion with his mom. 

The opportunity was at Will’s feet, practically begging him to finally find out what kind of man his father really is. Or more likely, have Will give him a piece of his mind.

“You good?” A voice from behind him came. His coworker and best friend Nico was also assigned this trip with him (like usual, and thank god for that). 

Nico bumps their shoulders together as the two of them board. “Usually I’m the one with plane anxiety.”

Will pushes back his thoughts and replaces them with a smile. “It’s not that. Can’t say I’m completely looking forward to three days of conferencing, though.”

“Tell me about it!” Nico groans, practically throwing back his head as the two of them settled in their seats, preparing for the four-hour flight from New York to Austin. “Last time we were stuck in one of those, I pretended to be taking so many notes but I was just doodling!”

Will laughs. “I remember that one. We played hangman at one point,” he reminds Nico, which just causes him to go onto retelling many stories about conference days. It was one of Nico’s ways of calming down before the plane took off, but also gave Will time to zone off again about his father.

He has the date, location, and time of the bar that Lester and his band were playing at just in case. The thought was burning in the back of his mind just like it had been ever since Will first saw the ad, and he imagines it wasn’t going to leave until Will just sucked it up and faced his deadbeat of a dad. 

“Is your mom still upset that we aren’t staying with her?” Nico asks, pulling Will from his thoughts once again. (Though not completely. Like he said, burning in the back of his mind.)

“I think right now she is, but once we take over her house during the day, demanding food and laundry, she’ll be glad to have the space to herself at night.”

“We are not demanding anything from your mother,” Nico replies indignantly.

“You might change your mind about that once you taste her cookies.”

They’re cut off as the engine begins to roar, and Nico squeezes his eyes shut, grabbing Will’s hand. Even after a few years of working together, he’s still scared of planes. He has the same reaction to every flight. 

Will had offered his hand on their second flight ever together, and every flight since then, to the point in which he just takes it when he feels they’re about to take off. It’s one of their weird business trip traditions.

Will notices an older man eyeing their hands from across the aisle, making him nearly roll his eyes at the guy. For one, they’re not even dating. And if they were, what was the big whoop? Were people still sensitive to two guys holding hands in this day and age? 

It didn’t matter, he supposes, because there was no way Nico was letting go until they reached a level relationship to the ground.

⁠—

Naomi Solace was waiting for them as soon as they got their bags. She had insisted that even while they weren’t staying with her for the trip, the least she could do was provide them some transportation so they wouldn’t have to rent a car.

Nico was visibly uncomfortable, Will could tell. He’s tried explaining multiple times that his mother is the last person to be afraid of as long as you don’t hurt Will or mention his father, neither of which Nico had done. It didn’t help to calm him down though. 

That worry seemed to melt the moment Naomi catches their eyes, immediately waving them over with the brightest smile on her face.

She hugs Will first, of course, who could feel relief spreading through his body when she wraps his arms around him. Even with all the crazy going on around them, it was comforting to know that his mom was there for him. (Not that she knew Will’s other reason for the trip, nor would she. It would crush her, and he can’t handle that right now.)

After she finally lets go of Will, she immediately goes to Nico. Will winces, cursing at himself internally that he hadn’t told his mom that Nico didn’t like to be touched without warning until he realized that he can’t even help but to relax into one of Naomi’s hugs.

The tension had completely dissolved by the time they got to the car, leaving Will to excitedly tell Nico all about the area that he had grown up in.

“Schlitterbahn!” he cries excitedly, causing Nico to give him a confused look.

“Bless you?” he says, more like a question than a statement, causing both Will and Naomi to laugh.

“Not a sneeze,” Will says giddily. “Just the best waterpark ever!”

Nico still looks confused (has he never been to a waterpark?) but he seems content with letting will rediscover his past. Will’s grateful for it, especially considering it takes his mind off his father.

It also makes Will realize something. Something huge, unknown to Nico, and only a select part of the southern experience. He turns to Nico with a near-crazed grin. “Have you ever had Whataburger?”

“Had a what-a-what?” 

“We have to take him there for dinner, mom!” Will’s voice is pitched higher than normal, dripping with pure childlike excitement. Next to him, Naomi’s smile was much more calm, only laughing at her son’s antics

 Meanwhile, Nico looks like he’s almost expecting Naomi to say know. Lord knows how many times Will has refused to go to McDonald’s with Nico for dinner on business trips. That changes as soon as Naomi takes a quick turn into a parking lot. 

Will nearly pulls Nico out of the car as she parks, dragging him towards the bright orange and white doors of the restaurant. 

“I know you’re a devoted McDonald’s fan, but at least give this a try,” he says, walking Nico up to the counter. “I think we might be able to change your mind.”

Once the three order their food, they sit down together at a booth. Will ends up sliding next to his mom rather than Nico, which is a force of habit after many restaurant trips spent sitting across from each other. 

Both Naomi and Will eagerly watched as Nico took the first bite of his burger. He chewed comically slow, making vague facial expressions before swallowing. He pauses, then decides “It’s alright.”

“Alright?” Will nearly yells, trying not to laugh through his words.

Nico’s face breaks out in a grin. “Okay, maybe it’s better than alright. I still think McDonald’s is my number one, though.”

Will rolls his eyes. “We need to get you some new taste buds.”

⁠—

Later, Will flops back happily on the hotel bed. He sighs contentedly as several joints in his back pop, savoring the feeling of resting for the first since they got off the plane. 

After dinner, they gave Nico a quick car tour of the city of Austin before Naomi dropped them off at the hotel they’re staying at. They’ll have plenty of time to explore the city tomorrow after some much needed rest. 

Will hears a soft laugh coming from next to him. He rolls to his side to face Nico, who’s sitting cross-legged on the bed across from him as he bemusedly watches Will stretches.

“Comfortable?” Nico asks, grinning. Will’s taken aback for a moment by how soft his best friend looks at that moment in black sweatpants and a soft gray-green t-shirt. He’s actually very pretty, and for a moment Will wonders what it would be like to cuddle with him.

He shakes that thought away with a smile, dramatically stretching his arms above his head. “Very.”

Nico laughs again, uncrossing his legs and scooching up to the headboard of the bed. “Not quite like my bed at home-”

“But better than some of the others we’ve had,” Will finished, nodding. He mirrors Nico’s actions, sliding under the covers of his own bed and reaching to plug his phone in. He's not really that tired, but he doesn’t want to think about the day ahead of him tomorrow anymore.

“Hope you’re ready for some epic rounds of hangman tomorrow,” Nico says as Will reaches to turn off the lamp next to him. 

He grins in response. “It’s the highlight of these conferences.”

Nico rolls his eyes. “We need to stop agreeing to these trips.”

“Yeah, maybe,” he laughs. “Goodnight, Nico.”

“Goodnight, Will.”

He rolls over, facing away from Nico as he tries to force himself to fall asleep. His mind is still racing, though, overlapping thoughts about his mother and his father, and even Nico himself. 

All he could do was close his eyes until he fitfully fell asleep.

⁠—

solangelo tag list (message to be added/removed)

@internallyexplodingrainbows @unicornsgomooo @anxiouswinter @soulangelou @number-of-fucks-i-give-0 @underworldystuff @theeloquentsnake @solangelover@thefandomsaretakingover @internallyexplodingrainbows​ @hairasuntouchedaspartoftheamazon​ @motivatedcryptidtamer @emilyfairchild @wherethewildthingsare-nt @hetapeep41 @blavk-dahlia

[katsubiatch]

Hopelessly Devoted-1

Warnings~Slight smut-making out, drinking of alcoholic beverages, bar shenanigans, Hospitals, obnoxious exes, way too long of a chapter

It wasn't supposed to be like this.

Your head throbbed as you tried to concentrate on keeping your eyes open, forcing yourself to breath no matter how hard you wanted to just quit. You could feel blood pooling out underneath you and knew you were a goner if no one found you.

No one would find you, no one would suspect you to be here. You'd just decided to help out in the ER after your latest fight with Katsuki. What a pain that was turning into.

Your eyes traveled around the intake room, it was a mess now after the man had thrown you around it. You couldn't be angry, he hadn't meant to be violent and was passed out again in his bed.

The ER was busy, and this mans vitals were fine. No one was going to find you. You'd die here, never to see Katsuki again. Oh you couldn't believe the fight you'd had. It was the same one as always but now you couldn't help but think that you'd never run your hands through that annoyingly spiky hair that never stayed put, or across his cheeks, the scars on his body. You'd never be able to tell him about...

Your thoughts were disrupted when the door to the intake room opened and in came an Angel you were sure of it. The Angel of death to take you away. At this point you'd have anyone if it meant the pain would go away.

The Angel dropped down to his knees next to you, pulling out all kinds of equipment and swearing under his breath. He looked a lot like Shinsou in his white coat. "What the hell happened?" He sure sounded a lot like Shinsou too. "Sweet cheeks stay with me." He muttered, a gentle hand touching your cheek. At least you'd have a gentle touch to help you through to the other side as your eyes slowly started to shift shut and you heard Shinsou yelling for help.

          ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~A Year and a Half Earlier~~~~~~~~~~

It had been another long day at the hospital, twelve hours that somehow turned into fourteen. You weren't sure why you always stayed late to help out when most of the time it felt like they couldn't care less about it but it was worth it in it's own way. You'd been able to help deliver a baby of a mom that had come in at the start of your shift so that had been a highlight.

Most of the time you worked was on labor and delivery, helping moms get through the rough process that was childbirth. Weather that be medicated, natural, water birth, c-section. You'd seen and helped through almost everything. However you also flip flopped between that and the ER which was a beast all in itself. Bloody limbs, gun shot wounds, cuts and bruises from villain attacks. It was all rough and fast paced, which was nice to get your shift out of the way but most of the time you'd end up staying later, caught up in the rush of it all.

You slammed down your third shot glass of the night, barely hearing Shinsou beside you telling you that you should probably slow down. "Slow down? Come on!! The night is young, beside it's only my third shot." You rolled your eyes, sipping on the drink that you'd had since you'd gotten there. It was a good buffer for the tequila that you'd just downed. "Come on, loosen up. You're always so up tight when we go out." "Probably because I have to be the responsible one." Shinsou rolled his eyes, taking a sip of the beer that he'd gotten himself. He'd take on shot with you but that was it. "Someone has to get us back to the apartment in one piece."

Shinsou had been your best friend since collage, he was studying to be a doctor and you a nurse. Which meant you had separate classes but were generally in the same buildings and just happened to meet up in the library one day. The rest was history as they would say. Grueling exams, late night study sessions and clinicals caused you two to have a strong bond however despite popular belief you two were not in a relationship. Just a close friendship. Of course there had been a few make-out sessions that while steamy, had made the two of you decide that you weren't right for each other. It hadn't made things awkward at all. Okay well it had made things awkward for a few weeks but the two of you had quickly gotten past that. Now the two of you often worked together still and shared an apartment, even if the two of you weren’t always there at the same time. 

“You do not have to be responsible here. There are things called ubers that can drive us home. Besides it’s no fun to get tipsy on your own!! There’s karaoke too! Some of the other nurses are coming over and we’re going to sing a few songs, you should join us.” You smiled happily up at Shinsou, sipping at your drink as your eyes wandered around the bar. They stalled at a table where two guys seemed to be busy with getting another blond man to relax with them while a girl with pink skin giggled at the three of them. In the back of your mind you had to know that they were all pro-heros but you couldn’t quite remember their names but damn they were attractive. 

Your eyes moved along their muscled arms, toned bodies, extremly  handsome faces... god when did heros get so attractive? You had to tear your eyes away before they got suspicious of your lingering glance. You were sure that it was difficult for them to go out without being noticed and you didn’t want to come off as this freaky fan. You’d helped patch up the electric blond hero after he’d gotten hurt one time. He’d spent the entire time sending one liners and flirting with you but you’d brushed it off as jokes. The redhead, Red Riot, had been totally polite, even apologizing the entire time about her having to stich up a pretty deep cut on his arm. She couldn’t remember who the other two were but they were all too attractive for their own good. 

Soon enough the other floor nurses that you worked with made their way to the bar and Shinsou left you in their caring hands. Which would have been except the three of you got.. well a bit more tipsy than Shinsou would have liked if he was there. It was fine you’d figure out how you’d get home later, now it was time for karaoke. After a few songs you found yourself needing the bathroom, which wasn’t surprising with the amount of alcohol you’d been drinking. You put it off for as long as you could before the call of the bathroom was too hard to ignore. Once you had finished your business and washed your hands, you were stopped on your way back to your table. Your hand grabbed and you were pushed against the wall. Your eyes widened as you looked up and noticed who it was. Your asshole ex who you had broken up with months before, the one who had gotten creepy and clingy fast. 

“Y/N.. what are you doing here?” He slurred, obviously having drank a bit. “I thought you didn’t like these kind of places.” “I didn’t like these kind of places with you.” Your eyes rolled as he tried to fight against his grip. “Hmm looks like your little roommate isn’t here to save you this time. Why don’t we go into that bathroom and make some noise?” He purred in your ear, making you shiver.  “I don’t think so...” You struggled to get out of his grip as he tried to haul you towards the bathrooms. You thought all hope was lost when suddenly you didn’t feel the strong grip crushing your wrist.

“I think the lady said she didn’t want to go with you.” A gruff voice sounded in the little hallway with the bathrooms. You opened your eyes and saw a head of ash blond hair, red eyes that were narrowed in annoyance basically staring holes into your exes head, holding on tightly to his wrist. Was there smoke coming off his hand? 

“Right.. right sorry DynaMight sir. I...” He didn’t get to say much more before the hero was growling at him, gripping his wrist tighter. “You shouldn’t be saying sorry to me, you should be saying sorry to the lady, dumbass.” He ground out, keeping his eyes on the other man. 

“Oh.. yeah. Sorry Y/N, I’ll leave you alone.” Once it seemed that the blond was satisfied with his apology he roughly let go of the other mans wrist before finally turning his eyes on you. “You okay?” He asked, a little rough but slightly more gentle than when he’d been talking to your ex.  “Yeah, yeah I’m okay.” You shook your head, sighing a little and wrapping your arms around yourself. You felt a bit shaken up after this encounter but you didn’t want to let it ruin your night. “I.. I really appreciate it.” “It’s my job, don’t think about it too much.” The hero got out, a bit rougher than he intended. 

“R-right. Well thanks again.” You nodded as you started to walk back to your table, only to find that your friends had ditched you. “Oh nice, perfect.” You sighed, groaning at the fact that you’d probably have to ask Shinsou to come get you and he wouldn’t be happy about it. “Your friends leave you?” The same rough voice from before asked you, making you jump a bit with how unexpected it had been.  “Yeah, they probably all got too drunk and forgot all about me.” You huffed a little, not quite ready for the night to end but not wanting to sit and be lonely at the bar. You heard a loud sigh and looked back to see the man running his hand through his hair. He was too handsome for his own good, you could drown in those eyes, and those arms. Oh what you wouldn’t give to feel them wrapped around you, your legs wrapped around his waist with those full lips whispering...  a sudden snapping got your attention and the sound of the bar brought you back.  “Hey did you hear me? I said that you could come hangout with my dumbasses if you want.” He murmured looking at you with concern. You shook your head of your little daydream, maybe it was time to stop drinking. “Yeah sure, that would be great. Thanks.” 

So that was how you found yourself at the table with the heros, whose names you all learned rather quickly. Kirishima and Kaminari had vaguely remembered you from the ER, but you’d never met the pink hero or the sinfully delicious man that had saved you. You were quick to find out their names as Mina and Bakagou. It was then that you spent the night, probably drinking more than you should, exchanging numbers with the group of heros, watching Kaminari get obnoxiously drunk which ended with Kaminari and Mina dragging him home. 

So you found yourself alone. With the insanely hot guy that you were having too many thoughts about. You blamed the alcohol in your veins for wanting you to push him up against the wall and suck face.  “Hey you’re doing that weird thing again... you alright?” He asked waving a hand in front of your face. God his hands were beautiful.. “Yeah I’m great. Just peachy.” Laughing, you looking up at the man who was watching you with curious eyes.  “Okay well... do you need me to walk you home?” Bakagou asked, leaning against the brick wall outside of the bar, bathed in the fake yellow of the lights lining the outside. “Uhh yeah actually that would be perfect but there is something I need to do first, and we don’t have to talk about it afterwards. I just wanna know what it feels like..” After all you probably won’t see this guy again, at least not in person anyway so what did you have to lose? You grabbed onto his shirt collar, pulling him more down to your level. The alcohol was giving you too much courage but you did falter for a moment before crashing your lips against his. Oh they were so much better than you had imagined. 

He stumbled into the kiss, clearly not having expected it but he recovered quite quickly, his hand coming to rest on your hip and the other cradling your face. You were glad that he didn’t instantly pull away, and your lips danced together sighing into his mouth. He tasted so good, like smoke and caramel. His lips were a bit rough but felt oh so good. You wanted to give into other desires, the ex from earlier bringing back too many bad memories that you wanted to wash away. But if you came back, slightly drunk, to your shared apartment with a guy you were sure it wouldn’t end well with Shinsou. He could be a real cock block, but you were grateful for it sometimes. You didn’t want to make decisions you’d regret when you were drunk. 

Soon enough the two of you broke for air, and you instantly bit down on your bottom lip as you looked up at the man who had a slight pink tint on his cheeks now. “Well, okay now that I have that out of my system lets go.” You tried to make a joke of it, letting go of his shirt and patting it back down before leading the way. Thankfully he didn’t mention it and managed to get you back safely to your apartment, 

Little did you know that soon enough you’d been seeing the hero again...

~~~~~~~~ A/N: Wow okay that was a bit longer than I had anticipated! I’m sorry the writing is not the greatest, I’m still trying to get back to this whole writing thing and find my groove again! Anywho this is basically just setting the scene and getting things ready for the start of their relationship! Thank you for reading. (:

[hilarioushilarity]

(not) lost in translation pt. 2

{I am a lying liar who lies, 2-3 days my ass. You can read Part 1 here.}

The second time Alexei meets Kent Parson is at the All Star weekend that season.

When Mama and Papa had flown back to Russia, Alexei had rapidly realised that he was effectively a thousand miles away from everything he had ever known, and that:

1) Nobody around him spoke Russian; and 2) He couldn't speak English.

Alexei hates English. With a passion. He's not stupid enough to tell anyone this particular fact, but he thinks it every time he sits down for his English classes and wrestles with prepositions and adverbs, or heaven forbid, attempts to conjugate a verb. Every rule had a million exceptions, so what was even the point of the rule? English as a language was just unfair, he had decided, and he tells Mama this over the phone one month in.

She is sympathetic, in her typical Spartan manner. "You'll learn," she tells him. "Practise for at least three hours every day."

Alexei is appalled. "Mama, when am I meant to get three hours of practice each day?"

"There is always time."

He honestly doesn't know what else he expected. "Okay Mama," he says, and then turns the conversation to how stupidly big portion sizes were in America. Criticising the diets of North Americans was always guaranteed to catch her attention.

To his dismay, his father just laughs at him.

"Papa." Alexei may or may not be whining.

"Your Mama told you to just find time, didn't she," he says, when he's finally stopped cackling for long enough to take a breath.

Alexei hangs up on him.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Papa says, when he calls back a minute later. The wheezing laughs have stopped, which is a relief.

"Okay," Alexei says warily.

"I mean it." His father is abruptly serious. "I'm sorry for laughing, you're in a tough situation right now. English is not an easy language to learn." They both know that his father never truly gained fluency in it - never had the chance to need it.

"It's really hard, Papa." He doesn't think he's just talking about English anymore.

"Things worth doing usually are, Alyosha," his father says gently.

Alexei chews his lip. "I don't know if I'm doing anything right."

"Are you playing good hockey?" Papa asks.

"Yes, Papa."

"You aren't bullying anyone on the ice?"

"No -"

"Working hard? Doing your English lessons? Going to all your practices on time, practising anything your coach says you need to work on?"

"Yes -"

"Then you are doing it right. And I am proud of you."

His father's voice is warm, and it curls around Alexei. He suddenly, desperately, wishes he could hug his father tightly. "Okay Papa."

"Now go and practice your English," Papa says, and Alexei does.

So hockey is the only thing he has besides torturous English lessons, and he devotes himself to it. He racks up goals and assists every game, plays a clean defensive game, and keeps his stats glowing. English smalltalk remains his nemesis but he's getting there, one pleasantry at a time. Before he knows it, he's being invited to the All Stars Weekend. He dithers over the invite for a few days, until the head of Capitals PR eventually corners him on his way out of the locker rooms.

"You should go," LaRue tells him. "It's good for building up your fanbase." He continues to go on at depth about social media presences and ticket sales. Alexei dutifully nods his way through the lecture, and ends up promising to go just to escape.

For some unknown sin in this life or a past one, he is roomed with a D-man from the Aeros who talks loudly and snores louder than a chainsaw. Alexei realises this on the first night when he lays in bed, staring at the ceiling as the red digits on the bedside clock tick over from 11 to 12, then 1. There's a snore once every three seconds, accompanied by whistling through some gap between teeth. Alexei kills half an hour searching up English sayings to describe snoring and deciding that his roommate "snores like a foghorn" before he finally gives up and rolls out of bed.

The hotel they've been put up in has an indoor gym and swimming pool. Alexei slings on a towel, sneaking out of the room before taking the lift down. On first glance, the gym is deserted, because any sane person is currently asleep. Alexei, running on no sleep, does not qualify.

Except, when he's halfway through his reps on the elliptical, a quiet voice behind him says: "Um. Hi, Alexei?"

Alexei turns around and comes face to face with Kent Parson.

What they are is nebulous at best. More than acquaintances - Kent Parson had talked to his Mama and Papa and his Mama had said Kent was a Very Nice Person. But less than friends, certainly. After the draft, Kent had gone west to the Aces and Alexei had gone east to the Capitals. He hasn't really kept track of Kent's career, but he would have to be under an actual rock to not know Kent is the only other rookie at the All Stars weekend and the NHL's current leading scorer.

"Hello," Alexei replies. There's a drop of sweat slowly rolling down his face and he's painfully aware that he probably stinks a little.  Meanwhile Kent Parson looks fresh as a daisy at one in the morning. The limits of his smalltalking abilities in English remain breathtakingly small despite the benefit of six months of English tutoring, so he kind of hopes Kent takes pity on his poor, sweaty form.

Kent does not. "It's been a while. Good to see you."

Goddamnit, they're smalltalking. "Good to see you, too."

Kent looks unbothered at the lack of scintillating conversation. He rolls onto the balls of his feet, fiddling with the strap of the duffel slung over his shoulder. "So uh. How's your mum?" he says, then immediately blanches. "Shit. I didn't mean - I just -"

"Good," Alexei says, mostly to put him out of his misery. "She good."

Kent looks earnest. "Oh, that's really good to hear." And then he seems to waver a bit.

"How is family?" Alexei says, when the silence stretches on. "They come visit after draft?"

"Ah yeah." Kent visibly brightens up. "They did! It was great, we had dinner and hung out a bit, and I gave my sister your mum's autograph - she's so cool by the way, but I bet you already knew that - I'd love to thank her again."

There are just - so many words. Alexei takes a few seconds to work through the sentence. "Glad to hear sister like. Maybe you see Mama again at game with Aces?"

"Definitely," Kent says, and Alexei's heard so many people say that over the past six months, but he thinks this time he could believe it. "So, uh. What's keeping you up?"

Only the loudest snorer on the entire American continent. "Roomie." Alexei searches for the words. "Snoring like foghorn."

Kent winces. "Jeez, I know what you mean. Did you try poking him to get him to roll over?"

"To scared to poke," Alexei admits. "Big guy."

"Who are you rooming with?"

"Winkler?"

"Fuck, yeah, he's a big dude. Better not poke him."

Alexei sighs. "Snore so loud - and whistle too. Like train." At Kent's blank look, he tries: "Choo choo?"

"Choo - oh god, you mean like a steam engine?"

Alexei pulls out his phone in answer. "How spell that? Steam engine?" He dutifully plugs in the letters Kent rattles off, and hits translate. "Oh. Yes. He steam engine."

"Heh," Kent says. "I double dog dare you to say that to him." He must catch the look of utter incomprehension on Alexei's face, because he quickly backtracks. "Not up with the slang yet? Sorry. I meant, you should tell him that."

"But why?" Alexei doesn't want to get punched.

"As a joke," Kent adds hastily. "It's funny, because we know it's stupid so we wouldn't do it."

English was just ridiculous. "Okay," Alexei tries. "Double dog dare you cycle on elliptical, see who faster."

"That's not..." Kent trails off. He smiles, then shakes his head. "That's not how it works. But we'll work on it," he assures Alexei, with a firm pat on his shoulder.

It's worlds away from the way the Caps' coach tends to roll his eyes heavenward when Alexei goes left when he should go right, or his English tutor, who is nice enough but is prone to banging her head against the table a little when Alexei fumbles the conjugation on a verb. "Not now," Alexei says. "Later?"

Kent checks his watch and he actually looks surprised, like the complete lack of other people didn't clue him in. "Wow, it's pretty late, isn't it?"

Unbelievable. "Why you up?"

"Got caught up practising."

Alexei sideeyes him. "Practising?"

Kent flushes a little. "Practising my stick handling. Shooting accuracy."

Alexei can't help but boggle at him. "You practising? At 1AM?"

"I couldn't sleep," Kent says, a little defensively.

"You crazy," Alexei decides, but there's a lot of fondness that must be apparent to even Kent, who looks less offended than he does a mildly grumpy, like the family cat when he accidentally stepped on her tail as a child. "But you wipe ice with everyone, so you champion crazy."

"Damn straight I'm the champion crazy," Kent says, planting his hands on his hips like a dork. "Yeah, laugh it up, I'll definitely be wiping the ice with you."

Alexei pretends to cower. "Okay, Kent Parson, I try best not cry on ice then."

"You will be bawling your eyes out," Kent says with promise, and then looks so affronted when Alexei just doubles over, breathless with laughter.

"I believe you," Alexei says to the ground, from where he's still bent over trying to catch his breath. "Cry many tears."

"You better," Kent says, but then he's laughing helplessly too, dropping his duffel. "Oh god, I really am champion crazy."

Alexei reaches over to pat him on the back. "Is okay, still like, even if Kent Parson practice hockey at one in morning."

"You don't think I'm too crazy?" Perhaps it's meant to be joking, but Alexei can't help but look up sharply.

"Never. You think Crosby best because he slack off?"

"I don't think he's ever stayed up until 1 because he was nervous about All Stars," Kent says, then bites his lip.

"You nervous?" Alexei asks. Kent hesitates. "Why you nervous?"

"I just - it's been a lot," Kent finally says. He's looking to the side, staring at the elliptical. Alexei waits, and Kent says in a rush: "I feel like I have to be the best, or - or else -"

"Not have to say what," Alexei says gently. "Not make you say."

Kent scowls. "It's stupid. Everyone's thinking it, they just don't say it. That I'm the second choice."

At the Draft, Alexei had known vaguely that Kent Parson and another boy called Jack Zimmermann had widely been slated to go first and second - in either order. It was true that every analyst had put the latter in first place, and that when Aces called Kent Parson's name there had been a slight pause in the audience's murmuring. Kent's smile had been strained as he left their table.

Alexei's stood across from Kent on the ice before. He's watched countless hours of tape of the Aces' play and by proxy, of Kent. Kent Parson on the ice is a force of nature, skating circles around defence and sinking pucks into the net as easy as breathing. And in his heart of hearts, he thinks the margin between first and second had been far smaller than most people thought.

But now, under the harsh gym lights that highlight the remaining softness of his jaw and the dark patches beneath his eyes, Alexei realises that Kent's still just a kid. Alexei's just a kid. They're both just teenagers. And there's very little of the player who had breezed past Alexei at the last Caps game with the Aces, or of the player who had mercilessly crushed their four game winning streak without batting an eye. Under the padding and past all the hype, Kent was far from the figure he cut on ice and as vulnerable as any other human.

"Even if people say second choice, what matter?" Alexei says. "You first. You here now. Play well. Maybe bit annoy on ice but not bully. And seem nice, polite to Mama. Thinking of sister even at draft. Get autograph for her. That matter. Not other people."

He hopes he hasn't overdone it - perhaps Kent wasn't looking for a heart-to-heart in the hotel gym at 1AM. But instead of taken aback Kent looks - a little watery.

"Why you cry?" Alexei is horrified.

"I'm not crying," Kent sniffs. "I'm not."

Alexei bites his tongue. "Uh okay." He politely looks away as Kent wipes his eyes.

"I'm not saying I can't cry," Kent begins, which Alexei takes as his cue that it's safe to look back at him. His eyes are just slightest bit red, and even that's only if you know what to look for.  “I just try not to cry in front of others.”

"Okay," Alexei says cautiously.

Kent takes a deep breath. "Thank you."

"Welcome," Alexei replies automatically, then says: "But. For what?"

Kent stares at him. "For - listening? For not being an asshole about the fact I'm still some nervy rookie?"

Christ. People thanked each other for things like that in America? "No need thank," Alexei says. Then, desperate to change the subject, he adds: "So we agree! No need for nervous! You real KVP."

"The what?"

"KVP." Alexei gestures. "I see on Twitter - they calling you 'the Real KVP'".

"That's not - " Kent splutters. "That's my name, Alexei."

Alexei tries not wince. "Oh. Oops, sorry."

"Why are you sorry?" Kent brings out his phone, thumbing at something on the screen. He eventually holds out his phone, open to a websearch. "See? It's a joke on MVP. That's 'Most Valuable Player'."

"Oh," Alexei says again. "Make sense. Sometimes miss reference - thank you for explaining."

Kent stows away his phone, corners of his mouth twitching upwards again. "You've only been in the US for what, six months? Your English is great. If you put me in Russia I would probably just turn around and go back to the US."

"You miss good food then," Alexei tuts. "Russian food is best food."

"Hell no, I've seen what you guys count as soup. I'm not touching borscht with a ten-foot pole."

"Borscht is best soup!" Alexei tries to sound outraged.

"Look man, all I'm saying is that anything that pink should not be eaten."

Blasphemy. "You try pirozhki then? Small, baked -" He gropes around for the word, then gives up and calls up the translator app on his phone. "Dumpling."

"I've never had that," Kent says, but he at least looks intrigued. "What did you call it? Pay-roz-kay?"

His accent is actually appalling. "Pirozhki," Alexei corrects.

Kent frowns. "Poe-roz-ki?"

"Pirozhki"

"Poh-rosh-ki?"

Alexei nods in approval. "Good, sounds good."

"I like the sound of baked dumplings," Kent says. "Mm. Pirozkhi. I might go see if there's any places that do it in Vegas."

"Let me know if yes." Alexei nudges him. "I come try when Caps play Aces."

"You got it."

Alexei cuts off any further conversation with the embarrassingly loud yawn that escapes him then.

"Shit, it's like 1:30AM." Kent winces. "We have to get up at like 7 tomorrow - today? Holy crap we better go to sleep."

Alexei levers himself up, gathering his towel and bottle. "Hope not fall asleep on skates tomorrow."

"How about I check you if I see you dropping off," Kent suggests, then snickers at Alexei's raised eyebrow. "Bad idea?"

"Sure can check me?" Alexei makes a show of looking Kent up and down. He holds his index finger and thumb about ten centimetres apart. "So small."

"You asshole," Kent says, but he's laughing. "I'm not short, you're just a giant."

"If say so," Alexei shrugs. They start towards the elevator banks. "If help sleep at night."

"Fuck you, I sleep really well at night," Kent says petulantly. Alexei eyes the shadows beneath his eyes.

"I believe, I believe," he says instead with his best shit-eating grin. They get in the lift. "Okay, floor?"

Kent reaches over and pushes the button for 15. "You?"

"Twelve. Thank you." Kent nods, and they start moving up.

"So see you tomorrow, yes?"

"Yeah." Kent shoulders his duffel a little more firmly. "Be prepared to cry like a baby."

Alexei flaps his hands, just as the lift doors open on his floor. "Yeah, yeah, I cry so much."

The smile Kent gives him is small, but very real. "Good night Alexei."

"Good night," Alexei says, stepping out and turning to wave goodbye. The doors shut on Kent's smile, and Alexei stands there for a second, the airconditioning cool against his slightly sweaty neck.

"Hopefully not cry too much," he says to himself, before heading back to his room.

[probablygoodrpgideas]

All Variant Rules I could find in the PHB, DMG, and Xanathar’s

Skills with different abilities

A skill can be used with a different ability score, either on occasion, or always (Example: Strength (Intimidation))

Training to gain levels

To level up, you need to spend time and money training (in addition to gaining XP/milestones)

More difficult Identification

Not every magic item can be identified with the identify spell

Mixing Potions

When mixing potions, or drinking a potion while still under the effect of another, something happens (random table)

Scroll Mishaps

When failing to cast a spell from a scroll, something happens (random table)

Wands that don’t recharge

Some wands might not get their charges back at dawn, but they might have more charges in return

Automatic Success

A character with high enough ability scores might automatically succeed on easier ability checks

Players award Inspiration

Players decide when to give out Inspiration instead of the DM

Customizing Ability Scores

More commonly known as “Point buy”

Equipment Sizes

Armor found in the wild might need to be adjusted to fit

Encumbrance

If you carry a lot, your speed is reduced a bit. If you carry way too much, your speed is reduced by a lot

Multiclassing & Feats

Yeah those are technically variant rules

These Variant rules can be found in Xanathar’s Guide to Everything:

Rate of Falling

Basic rules say you fall instantly, but if you so desired, you only fall 500 feet a turn.

Flying Creatures and Falling

A conscious falling creature with a flying speed can reduce the falling damage they take

Waking Someone

Some rules for what kind of sounds can wake up a sleeping creature

Sleeping in Armor

Sleeping in medium or heavy armor lessens your gains from a long rest. You regain fewer hit dice and don’t recover exhaustion.

Going without a Long Rest

If you don’t take long rests, you get exhausted

Tying Knots

To see how good you are at tying (or untying) knots, use Intelligence (Sleight of Hand)

Tool Proficiencies

Xanathar’s Guide presents many additional benefits to having proficiencies with certain tools

Perceiving a caster at work

If a spell requires Material, Somatic, or Verbal components, casting it is noticeable by people around the caster, otherwise it’s not

Identifying a Spell

As an action or reaction to seeing a spell effect or someone casting a spell, you can make an Intelligence (Arcana) check to identify the spell. The DC is 15 + spell level. If the spell is on your class’s spellcasting list, you get advantage (House rule by me: As part of the same reaction, you can counterspell)

Invalid Spell Targets

If a spell targets something it can’t target (Like a fiend with charm person) the spell fails. If the spell requires a save, it appears as if the creature made its safe

These Variant rules can be found in Chapter 9 of the DMG:

Proficiency Die

Instead of having a flat proficiency bonus, you add a die to checks you are proficient with (goes from d4 to d12)

Ability Check proficiency by class

Instead of being proficient in certain skills, you choose an ability (like Strength) to be proficient in. Your class restricts the abilities you can choose from

Background proficiency

Instead of being proficient in certain skills, you apply your proficiency bonus to any check where it makes sense, considering your background

Personality Trait Proficiency

Instead of being proficient in certain skills, you apply your proficiency bonus to any check related to your character’s positive personality traits

Hero Points

Each character has a certain amount of Hero Points that can be used to add a d6 to any attack roll, ability check, or saving throw, or to turn a failed death save into a successful one.

Honor

An additional ability score that measures your devotion to, and understanding of, a code of honor

Sanity

An additional ability score that measures your mental stability

Fear

Being confronted with a threat that you have no hope of overcoming might cause the frightened condition

Horror

Seeing something truly horrifying might cause a short-term or long-term madness (this portrayal of mental health is questionable but that’s a topic for another day)

Healer’s Kit Dependency

You can only spend Hit Dice after a short rest if someone expands a use of a healer’s kit

Healing Surges

A character can, once per short rest, use an action to spend up to half their hit dice. You regain some hit dice after a short rest and all after a long rest.

Slow Natural Healing

You don’t regain hit points after a long rest, but you can spend hit dice.

Epic Heroism

A short rest is 5 minutes and a long rest is 1 hour.

Gritty Realism

A short rest is 8 hours and a long rest is 7 days.

Plot Points

Players gain “Plot Points” they can use to influence the plot in ways usually reserved for the dm

Initiative Score

Instead of rolling for initiative, you use a passive Initiative score

Side initiative

Instead of each creature rolling for initiative separately, each side rolls a d20 and then everyone on the same side goes in whatever order they choose.

Speed Factor

Roll Initiative each turn, modified by whatever action you want to take this turn (Personally not recommended, just use Greyhawk Initiative instead)

Climb onto a bigger creature

You can climb onto a bigger creature using a Strength (Athletics) or Dexterity (Acrobatics) check contested by your target’s Dexterity (Acrobatics) check. End climb with a Strength (Athletics) check contested by a Strength (Athletics) or Dexterity (Acrobatics) check

Disarm

Make an attack roll contested by Strength (Athletics) or Dexterity (Acrobatics) to disarm someone of something they’re holding

Mark

When you hit a creature with a melee attack, you can mark them. You get advantage on opportunity attacks against them and opportunity attacks don’t need your reaction (still only 1/turn and only when you can take a reaction)

Overrun

Strength (Athletics) vs Strength (Athletics) to move through a hostile creature’s space. Advantage if you’re bigger, disadvantage if you’re smaller

Shove Aside

Shove can be used to shove the target to a different space within your reach. If you do, you get advantage on your check

Tumble

Dexterity (Acrobatics) vs Dexterity (Acrobatics) to move through a hostile creature’s space

Hitting Cover

If a ranged attack misses because of cover, it hits the cover instead (only if it hits the cover’s AC)

Cleaving through Creatures

If you kill a creature in a single hit, excess damage can hit another creature within reach

Injuries

If you take a lot of damage or get critically hit, you can suffer a lingering injury.

Massive Damage

If a creature loses more than half its hit points at once, something bad could happen to it.

Morale

A rule to determine when an enemy might flee/surrender

Spell Points

Instead of Spell Slots, you have Spell Points. Higher spells require more points to cast.

[abusybuzzingbee]

Pilot | Supernatural Season 1 Episode 1 Rewrite | Dean x Reader

A/N:::: Hello!! I am a royal dumbass and just accidentally deleted my whole tumblr. I was trying to get rid of my main account and accidentally got rid of it all!! So, this is bee from @abusybuzzingbee coming back at you with reuploads of my supernatural rewrites. So sorry to all of my supporters for my tomfoolery.

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Major Characters: Dean Winchester, Reader, Sam Winchester

Warnings: Canon violence, language, Dean and the reader being assholes to each other, this is going to be the slowest burn that ever did burn, so buckle up!

Word Count: 7,643

Summary: The reader is a lonely young hunter on the road to Jericho, California where she bumps into two boys on the search for their father.

Series Rewrite Masterlist

Season 1 Masterlist

It was an early morning yesterday

I was up before the dawn.’

‘Funny how the sun’s just rising,’ you thought.

‘And I really have enjoyed my stay

But I must be moving on.’

The sound of the familiar tune of “Goodbye Stranger” coming from the radio of your new hijacked wheels-- a 2002 Toyota Camry, to be exact-- put a smile on your face.

‘Like a king without a castle

Like a queen without a throne

I’m an early morning lover

And I must be moving on.’

As you drove along a remote highway on the way to Jericho, California, you threw a glance to the wind lightly rustling the leaves of the trees outside of your driver’s side mirror.

‘Now I believe in what you say

Is the undisputed truth.’

Scenes such as this have always calmed you. The first beams of light stretching up from over the horizon, the vivid colors of the tree leaves, the hum of the radio of your newest car, and the sound of your tires gliding over the pavement. 

‘But I have to have things my own way

To keep me in my youth.’

These road trips in between hunts were the only taste you had ever had of a normal life. Not that you wanted a normal life, you think you would be too bored in the suburbs. However, it is comforting to have a small break from monsters while driving from place to place to relax.

‘Like a ship without an anchor

Like a slave without a chain

Just a thought of those sweet ladies

Sends a shiver through my veins.’

The latest case you had picked up on was the disappearance of several men on Centennial Highway in Jericho. 

‘And I will go on shining

Shining like brand new

I’ll never look behind me

My troubles will be few.’

The last disappearance had been some kid named Troy. Poor bastard.

You had very little knowledge of what you were walking into. You decided that you would head to the scene of the crime to try and get a better idea of what you were dealing with.

‘Goodbye stranger

It’s been nice

Hope you find your paradise

Tried to see your point of view

Hope your dreams will all come true.’

Just a few more hours and you’d be there.

‘Goodbye Mary, goodbye Jane--’

You turned the music up just a bit as you picked up your speed on the highway and thought about my last successful hunt in Alexandria, Louisiana. 

‘Will we ever meet again?’

You were proud of how you did on that hunt, but it was freeing to leave towns you had previously hunted in in your rearview mirror.

‘Feel no sorrow, feel no shame--’

It wasn’t a matter of feeling guilty about what you had done while you were in that town; you had nothing to feel guilty about. It just always hurt you to think of the sad faces of the people who had already lost family members before you got there to do your job.

‘Come tomorrow, feel no pain--’

There would always be that little bit of trauma that you carried with you because of all you had seen on hunts, but c’est la vie.

‘Sweet devotion (Goodbye, Mary)

It’s not for me (Goodbye, Jane).’

You let your mind go blank and get completely absorbed in the music as you continued to drive along.

‘Just give me motion (Will we ever)

To set me free (Meet again?)’

Music was the one constant in your life that kept you grounded. It was so powerful. Music could express so many feelings and bring those same emotions out of its listeners.

‘In the land and the ocean (Feel no sorrow)

Far away (Feel no shame)--’

You loved oldies music. From ‘70′s hippie music to ‘80′s rock, all the way back to Edith Piaf in the 1940′s. 

‘It’s the life I’ve chosen (Come tomorrow)

Every day (Feel no pain)’

You wished you had the time to sit down for long enough to learn to play an instrument. There was a whole list of things you wanted to learn to play including piano, guitar, ukelele, and drums. 

‘Maybe one day,’ you thought.

‘So goodbye, Mary (Goodbye, Mary)

Goodbye, Jane (Goodbye, Jane)

Will we ever (Will we ever)

Meet again? (Meet again?)’

**** 

A few hours later, you were parked on Sylvania Bridge in Jericho. You had stopped a few miles back at a gas station to change into an outfit that looked a little more professional than a pair of baggy sweatpants and a t-shirt and opted for one of the many police uniforms you carried around with you. This one was a federal marshal suit. Included the khakis, shirt with a little police badge on the pocket, and a belt with your fake badge on it. It was your mom’s. She threw herself into the many roles she played on the job and made sure she had the costumes to fit the part. Once she passed, you just couldn’t let them go.

You hopped out of the car and walked over to the scene of the crime. You noticed two boys that looked about my age talking to one of the deputies on site. You watched them flash badges to the deputy, but neither was in uniform. 

‘Oh, boy.’

"You two are a little young for marshals, aren't you?” you heard the deputy remark as you walked up to them. 

“Thanks, that’s awfully kind of you,” the shorter guy laughed. 

'That’s my cue,’ you thought.

“Hiya, fellas,” you smiled brightly, glancing between the three of them.

The two guys turned back to look at you. The shorter one pointed at himself with a questioning look on his face directed at you. You eyed him, attempting to tell him to just go with it. 

“Why aren’t you two in uniform?” you asked, standing next to the taller boy and glancing between the two of them. You looked at the deputy. “Sorry to have them bothering you. New hires,” you lied, rolling your eyes. “I’m supposed to oversee how they handle this case.”

“Mm-hmm...” the deputy said, squinting at you. He was clearly suspicious.

I extended my right hand to the deputy and reached for my badge with the other. “I’m Agent Nicks, nice to meet you.” I showed him my badge.

“Deputy Jaffe.” He shook my hand and nodded at my badge.

“Man, you guys can’t catch a break. You just had another killing like this, right?” I nodded my head at Troy’s car at the center of the crime scene as I spoke. 

“Yeah, that's right. About a mile up the road. There've been others before that,” the deputy spoke as I walked over to the car, the two boys trailing behind me.

“So, this victim, you knew him?” The taller boy questioned.

The deputy nodded. “Town like this, everybody knows everybody.”

The shorter boy circled the car once and stopped between the taller boy and I. “Any connection between the victims, besides that they're all men?” he asked.

“No,” Jaffe answered, “Not so far as we can tell.”

“So what's the theory?” The taller guy asked.

“Honestly, we don't know. Serial murder? Kidnapping ring?”

“Well, that is exactly the kind of crack police work I'd expect out of you guys,” the shorter guy quipped.

Your eyes widened as you watched the deputy’s incredulous expression. You didn’t like this kid already. You bit back a snicker when the dude who was with him stomped on his foot.

“Thank you for your time. Gentlemen,” the tall guy nodded.

You turned to follow your two “colleagues” away from the crime scene. The shorter guy smacked the taller one on the back of the head.

“Ow! What was that for?” 

“Why'd you have to step on my foot?”

“Why do you have to talk to the police like that?”

The two men realized you were following them and turned to look at you.

“Uh, can we help you?” the shorter one asked.

“No,” you replied. “I’ll be out of your hair in a second. I just think it’d be a little weird if I left the scene of the crime without regrouping with my ‘proteges’ first.”

The taller one nodded. It became clear to you he was the sensible one of the two.

“About that--” the shorter one came back, implying that you should explain yourself.

“Yeah, sorry for stepping all over your hunt.”

The two seemed in disbelief that you had figured out their secret.

“Takes one to know one,” You snickered. “I had to get the same information you two did, and it’d look really weird if two rounds of federal marshals came through for one case. I’m (Y/N), by the way.” You stuck out your hand for the two of them to shake.

The taller one took it first. “I’m Sam,” he smiled, “that’s my brother, Dean.” 

You shook Dean’s hand after Sam’s.

“You shake hands?” Dean asked.

You shrugged with a tilt of your head to the side.

“Weird.”

You raised an eyebrow at him.

“Well,” you sighed, “I got this hunt under control if you boys wanna hit the road.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, lady,” Dean started, “We were here first.”

“Geez, sorry. I thought I was doing you guys a favor by letting you hit the road.”

“Sorry,” Sam spoke for his brother, “We’re looking for our dad. The only information we have on where he could be is here, so we’ve got this covered.”

You nodded. “I hope you find him soon. Good meeting you two.” You turned to leave.

“Wait,” Sam called after you. “Three heads are better than two. We could use your help.”

Dean was quick to cut in. “No, no we do not--”

“What?” you asked, smirking. “You don’t like me Dean-o?”

He opened his mouth to respond, obviously trying to think of something to say. He came up blank after a few seconds.

You chuckled. “I’m down to help.”

Sam smiled brightly at you. “Great!” 

You glanced over Sam’s shoulder and your jaw clenched. Sam turned to follow your gaze.

The sheriff was talking to two FBI agents. He looked at you three pointedly. “Can I help you kids?”

“No, sir, we were just leaving,” Dean told him. He then nodded at the FBI agents as they walked past your trio. “Agent Mulder. Agent Scully.”

The three of you headed past the sheriff, whose gaze you could feel piercing through your back.

You noticed the 1967 Impala parked a little farther back than your car, wondering how you could have missed it when you pulled up to the scene.

“Aw, cool!” you exclaimed, quickly walking over to it. “Sweet ride.”  You ran your hand over the hood.

“Hey,” Dean called, “Hands off my baby.”

“You dating a car, Grumpy?” you smirked. 

He rolled his eyes at you. 

“Those your wheels over there?” Sam asked. He nodded towards your Camry.

“Unfortunately. Had to jack that car a few states back,” you responded.

Sam nodded. “You can catch a ride back with us if you want.”

Dean tossed a look at his brother.

“Cool, thanks,” you answered, smiling. “Let me just pull it off the road into some trees or something.”

***

"Who are we looking for again?” you asked the boys as you strolled around town. You had ditched your federal marshal getup and left it along with the rest of your stuff in the back of Dean’s car. 

Dean scoffed at your question.

“Hey, you didn’t answer the first time I asked, so I had to do it again,” you threw back.

“Troy’s girlfriend,” Sam answered.

“Thank you, Sam.” You threw a pointed look at Dean. He just turned his face away from you.

A few paces down from your pack, a young girl with brown hair was putting missing posters up with Troy’s face on them. 

"I'll bet you that's her,” Dean pointed out.

“Yeah,” Sam affirmed.

Your group walked up to her as Dean spoke, “You must be Amy.”

“Yeah,” she answered plainly.

“Yeah, Troy told us about you. We're his uncles. I'm Dean, this is Sammy.”

“And who’s that?” Amy glanced at you.

“I’m (Y/N). A friend of theirs.”

Amy nodded, looking back to Sam and Dean. “He never mentioned you to me.” She began to walk away with her posters.

Dean was quick to follow her. “Well, that's Troy, I guess. We're not around much, we're up in Modesto.”

“So, we're looking for him too, and we're kinda asking around,” Sam continued for Dean.

A friend of Amy’s came up to her and asked, “Hey, are you okay?”

Once Amy responded with a simple, “Yeah,” her friend stayed with her.

"You mind if we ask you a couple questions?” I asked Amy.

***

You, Amy’s friend, Rachel, and Amy were packed into one side of a diner booth while Sam and Dean sat opposite you.  

Amy spoke about what happened the night Troy went “missing.” “I was on the phone with Troy. He was driving home. He said he would call me right back, and...he never did.”

“He didn't say anything strange, or out of the ordinary?” Sam asked.

Amy shook her head. “No. Nothing I can remember.”

You glanced at the pentagram pendant she was wearing. “I like your necklace.”

“Troy gave it to me. Mostly to scare my parents with all that devil stuff,” Amy laughed. 

You smiled. “Actually, it means just the opposite. A pentagram is protection against evil. Really powerful. I mean, if you believe in that kind of thing.” 

“Okay,” Dean cut in. “Thank you, Unsolved Mysteries.”

You rolled your eyes at him while he took his arm off of the back of Sam’s seat and leaned forward on his elbows. “Here's the deal, ladies. The way Troy disappeared, something's not right. So if you've heard anything...” he trailed off, waiting for them to answer.

Amy and Rachel glanced between each other. 

“What is it?” Dean asked.

“Well, it's just,” Rachel began, “I mean, with all these guys going missing, people talk."

“About?” You questioned turning a bit more inward to Rachel. 

“It's kind of this local legend. This one girl? She got murdered out on Centennial, like decades ago,” Rachel stated.

You watched Rachel attentively, nodding.

“Well, supposedly she's still out there. She hitchhikes, and whoever picks her up? Well, they disappear forever.”

You glanced at the boys with a quirked eyebrow.

***

Dean typed away on the library computer on the archive search page for the Jericho Herald. He had the words “Female Murder Hitchhiking" typed into the search bar. When he pressed enter, nothing came up. Dean replaced “Hitchhiking” with “Centennial Highway,” and once again, crickets. 

“Wait a minute,” Sam started, “So angry spirits are born out of violent death, right?”

“Yeah,” Dean replied as if it was obvious.

“Well, maybe it’s not murder,” Sam stated.

“Ohhh,” you started, “I’m pickin’ up what you’re puttin’ down.” You knew Sam was thinking suicide.

Sam smiled at you.

“Let me try,” Sam told Dean.

“I got it,” Dean came back.

Sam shoved Dean out of the chair and took over.

“Dude!” Dean hit Sam on the shoulder. “You're such a control freak.”

You laughed at their banter.

“Can it, (Y/N),” Dean told you.

“So, what I can’t laugh?”

“No, no, you can’t.”

“I literally just met you and I’ve had it up to here--” you flattened your hand and put it up by your eyebrow, “--with you already--”

“The feeling is mutual, sweetheart,” Dean cut you off. 

“You two wanna stop?” Sam asked. “Come look at this.”

Just as you thought, Sam had put “suicide” in place of “murder” in the search bar.

Sam snapped you out of your thoughts by saying, “This was 1981. Constance Welch, twenty-four years old, jumps off Sylvania Bridge, drowns in the river.”

“Does it say why she did it?” Dean asked.

“Yeah,” you started, leaning over Sam’s shoulder to get a better look at the screen, “An hour before they found her, she calls 911. Apparently, her two little kids are in the bathtub. She leaves them alone for a minute, and when she comes back, they aren't breathing. Both die.”

Something about the situation did not sit right with you; it sounded familiar. 

Sam continued reading. “‘ 'Our babies were gone, and Constance just couldn't bear it,' said husband Joseph Welch.’”

“The bridge look familiar to you?” Dean pointed out, looking at a picture of a man-- presumably Constance’s husband-- crying standing next to Sylvania Bridge.

“Well, we know where we’re headed,” you commented, walking toward the exit of the library. You could feel Dean’s eyes on you as you left.

***

By the time you finally got to Sylvania Bridge, it was late at night. You and the boys had stopped for a bite to eat before going back to the bridge. Troy’s car had long since been removed, the crime scene completely cleared out. 

Dean looked out over the edge of the bridge, standing next to you and Sam. “So this is where Constance took the swan dive.”

“So you think Dad would have been here?” Sam looked over at his brother.

"Well, he's chasing the same story and we're chasing him.” Dean continued down the bridge, the taller boy trailing behind him.

“Okay, so now what?”

“Now we keep digging until we find him. Might take a while.”

Sam stopped. “Dean, I told you, I've gotta get back by Monday—”

The brunet stopped, turning around. “Monday. Right. The interview.” Aggravation was clear in his tone.

“Yeah.”

You thought it best to take a step back while they had this discussion.

"Yeah, I forgot. You're really serious about this, aren't you? You think you're just going to become some lawyer? Marry your girl?” Dean’s tone got a bit more of an edge to it.

“Maybe. Why not?” Sam pushed back.

“Does Jessica know the truth about you? I mean, does she know about the things you've done?”

Sam stepped closer to Dean. “No, and she's not ever going to know.”

The older boy did not back down. “Well, that's healthy. You can pretend all you want, Sammy. But sooner or later you're going to have to face up to who you really are.” He turned around and kept walking.

Sam followed him, his arms out in question. “And who's that?”

“You're one of us.” Dean gestured to himself and back to you staying several paces back,

Sam hurried to get in front of his brother. “No. I'm not like you. This is not going to be my life.”

“You have a responsibility to—”

“To Dad? And his crusade? If it weren't for pictures I wouldn't even know what Mom looks like. And what difference would it make? Even if we do find the thing that killed her, Mom's gone. And she isn't coming back.”

When Dean grabbed his brother by the collar and shoved him against the bridge, you jumped into action.

“Hey, knock it off, Dean.”

“(Y/N)--” Dean warned, giving you a sideways glare. He looked back at Sam. “Don't talk about her like that.” He let Sam go and walked away from him.

You hurried over to Sam. “You okay?” You put your hand on his shoulder and met his hazel eyes.

“Yeah, I’m good.”

“Guys,” Dean called.

You looked to Dean who stared down to the railing at the edge of the bridge.

“Constance,” you let out, coming to stand next to Dean.

Constance looked back at your group before stepping off of the railing.

The three of you ran to the railing. 

“Where'd she go?” Dean asked.

“I don’t know, wanna jump down there and find out?” you sassed.

Dean glared at you as the sound of the Impala’s engine roared behind you.

The older Winchester flipped around. “What the—” 

Sam wheeled around, too. “Who's driving your car?” 

Dean pulled the keys out of his pocket and jingled them, his green eyes never leaving the Impala.

The car jerked into motion, barrelling over the bridge straight toward you and the Winchesters.

“Go! Go!” you yelled, turning and sprinting away.

Dean and Sam sped ahead of you, and you noticed the car gaining on you. Your heart raced and your breathing was labored. The car was way too close for comfort and left you with just one option.

You threw yourself over the railing, just barely managing to hang onto the edge of the bridge.

You heard the car engine stop just as something-- or someone-- hit the water.

You pulled yourself back over the railing and noticed Sam sitting on the railing calling for Dean.

You rushed over to Sam, leaning over the railing to try to find Dean.

He popped up a second later, his usually spikey hair flattened to his head with mud. In fact, his whole body was covered in mud.

“You okay?” You called down to him.

Dean sarcastically held up a thumb and pursed his lips. 

“Hey, I’m just checking on you, don’t be an ass,” you yelled back, a small smile playing on your lips.

“Fuck off,” he grunted, annoyed.

Sam laughed and got back onto the bridge.

You headed over to the Impala and checked it over, grabbing a towel out of your bag.

Dean had managed to climb back onto the bridge and made his way over to his baby. He opened the car’s hood and poked around to see if Constance had damaged it at all. After a moment, he shut the hood and leaned on it.

“Your car all right?” you heard Sam ask are you walked over to Dean with the towel.

“Yeah, whatever she did to it, seems all right now. That Constance chick, what a bitch!” He yelled at the spirit. 

You put the towel on Dean’s head and started to dry his hair off when he jerked away from you.

“What are you doing?”

You were quick to put the towel back on his head. “Helping.”

The dirty blond ripped the towel out of your hands. “I got it.”

“Fine.” You raised your hands up in surrender. You leaned against the car next to Dean. “You know, I been thinkin’.”

“That’s dangerous.”

“Shut up, Dean. I’m serious.” You paused, taking in a breath. “Constance is a woman in white.”

Sam pursed his lips, shrugging. “Makes sense. I mean, the dead kids, suicide, killing unfaithful men.”

“Maybe.” The older Winchester’s monotone voice was followed by silence. A silence that was broken a few moments later by Sam.

“You smell like a toilet.”

You scrunched up your nose and giggled. 

“Can it, (Y/N).”

***

“You guys having a reunion or something?” the clerk asked, looking at the credit card Dean had placed on the motel’s front desk.

Sam cocked his head to the side. “What do you mean?”

“I had another guy, Burt Aframian. He came and bought out a room for the whole month.”

Dean looked over to his brother briefly and then turns his head back to the clerk. “What room’s he in?”

“Listen, kid, I can’t go around giving out people’s room numbers.”

Dean rolled his eyes.

You stepped out from behind the two boys. “Oh, please sir? He’s family, and we haven’t seen him in a while.” You gave him your best puppy dog eyes.

“Fine.”

***

“That how you get all the guys?”

“What?” you asked, not bothering to face Dean to answer his question. The two of you were stationed outside of John Winchester's room playing lookout while Sam picked the lock on the door.

“You know what I mean. I saw you makin’ eyes at the clerk.”

“Yeah, to get a room number.” You turned to face him, crossing your arms over your chest. “And it worked, didn’t it?”

“Oh, yeah. It worked real well.” He turned to face you.

“You know, you don’t have to be such a dick all the time. I met you yesterday and have given you no reason not to like me. What’s your deal?”

“In case you haven’t noticed, my plate is kind of full. I’m trying to figure out what the hell happened to my dad. I have no idea whether he’s alive, dead, or captured, and he’s the only parent I have left. And my little brother is solely concerned about getting back to fucking Stanford, and I’m not even sure he cares about what happened to our dad. And now, enter (Y/N) trying to take over a hunt that is the only tie I have to my dad.” Dean’s face was incredibly close to yours.

Sam had long since gone into the room and decided to leave the two of you alone to hash out your frustrations.

You held your ground, but your voice took on less of an angry tone. You were strictly playing defense at this point. “But I wasn’t trying to take it over to be mean, and as soon as you got so defensive about the hunt, I backed down and just offered to help--”

“Yeah, and I didn't want your help. Sam was the one who let you in, probably hoping that if you were here he could shag ass back to Stanford. So forgive me if I’m a little on edge.” He pulled his face away from yours, wheeling around to pinch the bridge of his nose. 

“Well, I’m sorry for being such an inconvenience. Perhaps you’ve forgotten the fact that I’ve helped you guys more than I’ve hurt you. I pulled your asses out of a crack when you were talking to the police. I was the one who figured out what kind of a spook we’re dealing with here. I want you to find your dad. I really do. But I also want you to stop being so awful to me. And it’s just me specifically!” You threw your arms up in the air. At some point during the first part of your rant, Dean had looked back at you over his shoulder. “You’re so nice to Sam--I mean, about as nice as brothers are to each other-- and I can tell you care about him. I can tell you have a good heart. So why choose to be an ass?”

When Dean didn’t answer, you shook your head. “Whatever. I’m leaving.” You clutched your duffel bag strap on your shoulder tightly, your knuckles turning white.

“To go where?”

“Away. You win. Ya got what you wanted.”

“Wait, (Y/N)--”

“Tell Sam I said ‘bye.’”

***

The heat of midday had your baby hairs stuck to your head with sweat. You had been walking for a while now, just trying to find somewhere remote enough that you could steal a car without getting seen. 

You hiked along a highway surrounded by dense trees, the rustling sound of the green leaves filling your head. You took a deep breath, allowing peace to wash over you. You never had to see Dean Winchester again, although you would miss Sam. He was the closest thing to a friend you’ve had in a while. 

A familiar engine roar overpowered the sound of the rustling you had been hearing. The car pulled off of the highway just behind you, coming to a stop. 

You took your bottom lip in your mouth under your top one, closing your eyes and stopping your walk.

You heard the opening and closing of the car’s door as you turned around, a small smile on your lips.

“You know,” Sam started, walking toward you, “It’s kind of rude to leave without saying ‘goodbye.’“ 

You let out a laugh. “Hey, Sam.”

He pulled you into a quick hug. “Hey. I heard what happened.”

You looked down at the mixture of grass and gravel below your combat boots. “Yeah.”

“And I know you probably never wanna see Dean’s face again, but we need your help. I do, and he does, whether he wants to admit it or not. We can all get out of here a lot quicker if we work together. You can get away from Dean, I can get back to Stanford, and Dean can find our dad.”

“Where is Dean?”

“Arrested.”

“Oh,” you said quietly, nodding.  “Okay.” You put on a smile. “What now?”

***

Much later in the day, after going to visit Joseph Welch, you and Sam were sitting in a diner grabbing a bite to eat. The both of you were brainstorming what to do to get Dean out of jail and what to do about that Constance bitch. The conversation had shifted from those two topics once you had a solid plan to simply small talk between friends.

“So what’s your story?” you asked, taking a bite out of one of your fries.

“What?”

“I picked up from conversations between you and Dean over the past two days and the very loud conversation I had with your brother earlier that you left hunting to go to Stanford. What happened there?”

Sam chuckled, looking down. 

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have asked that. I crossed a line,” you told him sincerely. You stared at your ketchup. 

“No, no,” he responded. He took in a sharp breath. “My dad and I had a big blowout fight before I left for college. He told me if I left for college to never come back. Haven’t talked to him in two years.” He took a bite of his salad after he finished talking.

“Oh,” you said softly. “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s fine.”

You decided to change the subject. “Alright, we’ve let Dean rot long enough. I’m gonna go call the police.”

Sam laughed, shaking his head. “I’ll get the check.” 

You walked outside of the diner, heading to the payphone you spotted at the entrance of the parking lot. You picked it up and dialed ‘9-1-1.’

“9-1-1, what’s your emergency?”

You made your voice frantic, forcing tears to well up in your eyes. “My-My husband! He’s been shot!”

“Ma’am, calm down for me, okay? Where are you?”

You screamed. “He- He just shot another guy! Oh, my god!”

“Ma’am, where are you?”

“I’m on Whiteford Road,” you said. “Please, please, please hurry!”

“Okay, okay, um, w-we’re sending a unit out to you now. Can you stay on the line for me?”

“No, no! Please!” you cried. “Plea--” You cut yourself off and hung up the phone. 

You noticed Sam standing next to you using one of his forearms to hold the door open as he leaned on the door frame. 

“What?”

“That was damn good acting,” he noted.

“Thanks,” you chuckled. “I actually wanted to be an actress growing up.”

“Hunting got in the way,” Sam figured.

“Exactly. But, acting is kind of part of the job. Gotta be real good at lying and pretending to be feds,” you shrugged, making light of the situation.

A comfortable silence blanketed you and Sam as you lamented over what life could’ve been for you. You sucked in a breath and said, “We better get going. To Constance!”

***

Sam’s phone ringing pulled the two of you out of a conversation about his girlfriend, Jess, and his life at Stanford. 

Sam looked at the caller ID, shrugging at you when he didn’t recognize it.

“Fake 911 phone call? Sammy, I don't know, that's pretty illegal,” you could hear Dean jest through the phone.

The brunet grinned. “It was (Y/N), actually.”

He paused. “(Y/N)? She’s with you?”

You took Sam’s phone out of his hands and said, “Yup. Hi, Dean,” into the receiver. “You’re welcome, by the way.”

You gave the phone back to Sam. 

The older Winchester changed the topic from you to something else. “Listen, we gotta talk.” 

“Tell me about it,” Sam jumped in. “So the husband was unfaithful. We are dealing with a woman in white. And she's buried behind her old house, so that should have been Dad's next stop--”

His brother tried to cut him off. “Sammy, would you shut up for a second?”

“--I just can't figure out why Dad hasn't destroyed the corpse yet.”

“Well, that's what I'm trying to tell you. He's gone. Dad left Jericho.”

Sam threw a look to you before glancing back to the road. “What? How do you know?”

“I've got his journal,” you heard the dirty blond explain.

“He doesn't go anywhere without that thing.”

“Yeah, well, he did this time.”

“What's it say?”

“Ah, the same old ex-Marine crap, when he wants to let us know where he's going.”

‘Ex-Marine crap?’ you thought to yourself.

Sam noticed your puzzled expression and directed toward you, “Coordinates.” He spoke his following words to Dean. “Where to?”

“I'm not sure yet.”

You propped your head up on your elbow on the passenger’s side door, legs tossed in an ‘L’ shape on the seat beside you. You stared out of the window into the dark night, taking in the gloomy appearance of the dead trees and fallen leaves. 

The younger Winchester shook his head. “I don't understand. I mean, what could be so important that Dad would just skip out in the middle of a job?”

A figure in the road caught your eye, causing you to squint and look out the windshield. 

Sam was still rambling to his brother. “Dean, what the hell is going on?”

You registered that Constance was in the road. “Sam, look out!” you shrieked.

Sam looked up, dropping the phone and slamming the brakes hard. You had to brace yourself on the dashboard in front of you, your body jerking forward and backward in your seat. 

Constance was gone, and you and Sam tried to catch your breaths. 

“Sam? Sam!” Dean’s voice came through the phone.

You picked up the phone from under the glove box. Dean had hung up before you got the chance to tell him Sam was alright.

You turned to the brunet, who swallowed hard and looked into the backseat through the rearview mirror.

You whirled around to look in the backseat, and there Constance was. “Take me home,” she ordered. She looked directly at you. “Take me home!”

“No,” you stated firmly, holding her gaze. 

Constance glared back at you as you heard the doors of the car lock. You wheel around in your seat and try to reopen them. Suddenly, your body was thrust back into the seat as the car began to drive. 

“Sam?” you yelled over the roar of the engine.

“That’s not me!” He tried to grab the steering wheel to drive, but Constance wouldn’t let him. 

You continued to struggle with the doors until the two-- well, three, counting Constance-- of you pulled up to an abandoned house, presumably the Welches’ old house. The windows on both of the two floors had been covered with boards, the paint was peeling off of the wood slats, and the screen door had been ripped. The house looked like it was falling apart more and more with every passing day. It had the stereotypical appearance of a horror movie house.

The engine of the Impala shut off.

“Don't do this,” the younger Winchester pleaded.

Constance flickered in the backseat. “I can never go home,” she moaned, her voice sad.

As if a switch had been flipped in your brain, your face shifted from scared to enlightened. “You're scared to go home.” You turned to look in the back seat, but Constance was gone. As soon as you turned back around, you noticed Constance in between you and Sam on the leather bench seat. 

You jumped, back pressed against the passenger’s side door. Constance climbed on Sam’s lap, shoving him back against the seat hard enough to tilt it backward. 

You tried to lunge for Constance, but she shoved you against the Impala’s door hard enough with a flick of her wrist to send the door flying open and you sailing through the air.

“(Y/N)!” You heard Sam yell.

You skidded to a halt on the rocky gravel surrounding the house, feeling your arms and legs get cut up. The wind was knocked out of you, and your head bounced against the small rocks. 

“Ow,” you groaned, trying to get up. You saw Constance had closed the passenger’s side door once more, and through the window could see her kissing Sam as he reached for the keys.

Another thing you saw was a figure appearing on the other side of the car through the driver’s side window. You hoped to god it was Dean.

You heard whoever it was fire a shot as Sam screamed in what seemed to be pain, so you immediately ducked. A few more shots were fired and you felt safe enough to raise your head.

You scrambled to your feet when you saw the Impala go careening through the porch and into the old Welch house. You ran into the house, being as careful as you could to avoid any of the broken pieces of wood and furniture the car had left in its path.

Dean was quick to follow you, calling out to his younger brother. “You okay?”

Sam groaned. “I think...”

“Can you move?” you asked, leaning through the passenger’s window. You looked him over for serious injury.

“Yeah,” he told you. He reached a hand out to his brother. “Help me?”

You stepped to the side as Dean pulled Sam out through the rolled-down window. 

You noticed Constance picking up a picture frame of her and her children that had fallen to the ground. 

She turned her attention from the picture to you and met your eyes.

She pinned you and the boys against the Impala with a bureau. It hit the boys in their pelvis but nailed you right in the stomach. You groaned in pain, desperately trying to push it off of you. 

You stopped your struggle when a sound caught your ear. It sounded like liquid trickling and watched as a stream of water just thick enough to cover each step cascaded to the ground.  You followed the stream to the top of the stairs to see the dark silhouettes of a little girl and a little boy holding hands.

“You've come home to us, Mommy,” they spoke in chorus.

Constance looked distraught as she got closer to the stairs. They were suddenly gone from the stairs and appeared behind her, hugging her and looking up at her with warm yet slightly disturbing smiles. 

Constance screamed, and she and her children melted to the floor flickering between apparitions of skinless and skeletal forms of humans. They melted into a puddle of an electric purple goo that seeped through the floorboards as the ringing in your ears from Constance’s shrieks subsided. 

You and the Winchesters shoved the bureau over, and you dusted off your hands as Dean spoke.

“So this is where she drowned her kids.”

“That's why she could never go home. She was too scared to face them,” Sam told you and his brother.

“You found her weak spot. Nice work, Sammy.” Dean slapped him on the chest where holes had been burned through his shirt that you were assumed were the products of Constance. Sam groaned out in pain but laughed nonetheless.

“Actually, it was all (Y/N). I’m just the jackass who drove your car through the side of a house,” Sam smiled, jutting his thumb back at you.

Dean hummed as he continued to walk away, clearly disinterested but making an effort to sound impressed. He leaned on the open window of the passenger’s side door, looking over his baby. “Speaking of that, if you screwed up my car--” he paused, looking back at Sam, “--I’ll kill you.”

“Aw, shame,” you cut in, “Sam’s my favorite Winchester.”

Dean glared at you. “Can it, (Y/N).”

***

You lip-synced the words to AC/DC’s “Highway to Hell” which boomed through the speakers of the Impala. You were sat in the backseat, leaning on the front seat between the two Winchesters with your forearms atop their bench seat. You looked over Sam’s shoulder as he opened up a giant map and opened his dad’s journal. He went to tuck a flashlight under his chin so he could actually see what he was doing, but you stopped him.

“I can hold that for you.”

“Thanks,” was his short reply as he handed off the flashlight to you, his eyes never leaving the things on his lap. You clicked the flashlight on and held it over his shoulder as he scanned the map for the coordinates “35-111″ as was written in his dad’s journal.

Sam tapped the spot on the map once he found it. “Okay, here's where Dad went. It's called Blackwater Ridge, Colorado.”

“Charming,” you quipped.

“How far?” came Dean’s question.

“About six hundred miles,” the younger Winchester told his brother.

“Hey, if we shag ass after we drop (Y/N) off in the next town over we could make it by morning,” Dean suggested, looking over at Sam. 

‘This guy is so ready to get rid of me,’ you thought, shaking your head.

Sam cocked his head to the side and looked to his brother. “Dean--”

Dean stared back to the road, his pitch dropping lower and his disappointment apparent. “You're not going.”

“The interview's in like, ten hours. I gotta be there,” Sam reminded him.

“Yeah. Yeah, whatever. I'll take you home.”

You clicked the flashlight off, sinking back into the backseat. 

‘Awkward.’

***

Dean’s face was still set in a frown as the Impala pulled up to Sam’s apartment complex. You jumped out of the car as Sam did, pulling him into a tight hug. 

“I’m gonna miss you,” you told him, squeezing him harder with your eyes shut. You were genuinely disappointed. Sam was so nice and the two of you had become great friends very quickly.

“Hey, you have my number. Call me.”

“Yeah, but it’s not the same.” You pulled away from him. “Say ‘hi’ to Jess for me.”

The brunet chuckled. “I will.” He leaned down into the open window of Dean’s car. “Call me if you find him?”

Dean nodded. 

“And maybe I can meet up with you later, huh?”

“Yeah, all right.”

Sam clearly did not know how to end the conversation from there, so he simply patted the inside of the car door twice and turned away. Dean leaned toward the passenger door, calling out to Sam in one last attempt to get him to come with him. “You know, we made a hell of a team back there.” 

“Yeah,” Sam nodded, which was clearly not the reaction Dean was expecting. He just sighed and waited for you to get back in the car. You had barely shut the door before Dean shoved off. 

You jerked around in your seat. “Easy, tiger. Jesus.” You slumped down in your seat after getting no response from Dean. You crossed your arms and looked out of your window. 

The familiar smells of coconut and tobacco filled your nose, and you immediately straightened up. 

“Turn around,” you told Dean, your eyes wide.

“What? No,” he snorted. “Why?”

“Just do it!”

Your exclamation caught Dean off guard. “Jesus, fine.”

He put the car in reverse and headed back up the street. 

Dean hadn’t even stopped in front of Sam’s apartment complex before you threw the car door open and sprinted toward the apartment as fast as you could.

“Whoa, crazy lady, where are you going?” Dean caught up to you and grabbed your arm, spinning you around. 

“Sam’s apartment. Which one is it?!” You asked in a panic. 

“Uh--” He glanced away from you, still puzzled as to why you were a basketcase at the present moment.

“Dean!”

He looked back at you, shaking his head, but he ran up the stairs and led you to Sam and Jess’s shared apartment. 

He stopped in front of the door, turning back to face you. “Now, why--”

Before he could finish his statement, you used all your might to kick the wooden door in, yelling Sam’s name in concern.

“No!” you heard him yell from another room.

Dean jumped into action, sprinting through the apartment with you hot on his heels. The two of you got to the younger Winchester’s bedroom just in time to see a woman in a white nightgown stained red at her belly from bleeding with blonde hair on the ceiling burst into flames. 

“Jess!” Sam yelled, paralyzed on his bed in shock. He quickly moved one arm to shield his face as the flames got closer to him. “No!”

‘Oh, shit. His girlfriend...’

You shook your thoughts away from you and helped Dean lug a screaming Sam out of the door and out of the apartment complex. You fished through your bag in Dean’s car for your phone and called the fire department as Dean tried to hold Sam back from going back in for his charred girlfriend.

***

Flashes of red and blue broke through the black of night, emanating from police cars and firetrucks all around you. You walked through the chaotic scene of police and firemen holding back onlookers and firemen dousing the remaining embers of the fire in water. Black, charred wood stuck out from the turquoise exterior of the complex, and you could see into the apartment through giant holes that had been burnt out of the wall. 

You walked back over to the boys who stood by the Impala. Sam was fooling with weapons concealed within the hollowed-out bottom of the trunk, and Dean stood next to him, watching his brother’s face. As you got to them, you put a hand on Sam’s shoulder in an attempt to comfort him. He looked up at you, his normally soft and cheery expression suppressed by a look of both desperation and anger. He shut the trunk with a hard slam.

“We got work to do.”

Tags are open and feedback is always appreciated!

Series Rewrite Tags:

@rach5ive​ @ppeachygemss​

[cowandcalf]

Writer’s Month 2020 - To Find A Way

Prompt No. 21 - Family Part I

Chapters 1 - 10

Chapter 11

Danny still feels the rush of nervousness when Steve has made it clear he wanted to spend time with him and Grace at the beach, at home where he grew up. This is big. This implies family and a future. Danny wants it. He wants everything. He wants to have days and years ahead of them. This day symbolizes a milestone.  And… and they are only going steady for a week, a week. What a stupid expression but seriously, they're only together for seven freaking days! Good Gracious, but to Danny, it feels as if they'd picked up where they have left off in another life. It must be something like that. Steve shared Kamekona's insanely ridiculous comment after a hot night. In the darkness, sweaty, their legs entangled and with a soft press of Steve's lips to his chest, Danny learned that Kawika and Kame think Steve and he are soulmates.

Also on AO3

Danny's heartbeat tells him he believes in this weird spiritual crap. The way Steve and he go at it just tells that the guys are right about it. This isn't normal. It's not normal how he misses Steve when he's at work. It grazes madness the way he breaks every traffic rule just to get as fast as possible to his man. Gosh, Danny feels like he's sixteen again and so madly in love.

Steve always waits for him at the flower shop no matter the time. When Danny walks through the door Steve greets him by pressing him up against the nearest wall before he kicks the door shut. Danny drowns in Steve's gasps and whispered words. They make love and they fuck on every surface available. They eat in between, feed each other only to end up in bed exhausted, satisfied, and with new bruises and scratches from the various pieces of furniture in Steve's jungle house.

But today is the kind of special that adds a new depth to what they already have.

Today is beach day. Steve has waited for this day from the moment he has told Danny about the color turquoise he plans to paint the walls in Grace's room. The room he plans to put up at his house. All week-long, Steve has been out here to get everything ready for Grace. He has kept everything a big secret. Danny is still overwhelmed by Steve's devotion and the sheer force he makes things happen.

Danny still can't believe how fast everything turns into this let's-spend-the-rest-of-our-lives-together thing. He's not scared. Maybe he should be scared because they've skipped having any date at all only to jump right at fucking each other's brains out to steer toward having a family day at Steve's parent's house where he lives. That's… intense especially for Danny but he's not worried. No, in fact, he's as calm as a sleeping whale. He and Steve click like nothing he has ever experienced. And he loves this guy with almost an angry seriousness and that scares him sometimes. Because at this point, Danny knows there will never ever be anyone else but Steve.

And Danny has brought Grace to the game like from 'zero hour' and that's something he has never done with any of his former dates. Never. As if he had a choice. Jesus. He ran into Steve at the hospital. In a blink of an eye, Steve and his little girl have bonded over doing a game on the seesaw on a children's playground. And Grace has turned into that center from where Steve's world has started to grow into a completely new dimension. Danny isn't a nervous wreck over the possibility his baby girl could get hurt over them breaking up. Danny knows hell is going to freeze over before he and Steve won't make this relationship work. Because that's what this is. They don't name that huge intimate thing that grows every day into so much more. It just is and they know it. Danny would freaking marry this wild beast of a wonderful man on the spot if he asked him. So, yes, his mental health floats in a sphere he hasn't known existed.

"Do you have everything you need?" Danny calls from the kitchen. He washes salad in the sink, standing in Steve's kitchen, and picks the limp leaves to heap them up on the countertop. He dries his hands on a dish towel he has thrown over his shoulder.

Grace runs into the kitchen right up to him. She wraps her arms around his legs. "Steve has bought everything, Danno." She tells him excitedly. "He has sand shovels, a pink sand sifter, a blue pail, a green one, and a red pail for the water. And – and a lot of plastic forms. Big ones and small ones and there is a dolphin and a mermaid and fish." She bends her head back and looks up at Danny. Her face is in awe.

Danny lifts her up to have a father-daughter talk. "He showed me. I guess Steve has bought the best pieces to build the greatest sandcastle of Hawaii just for you. He wants you to have fun. You okay with that, Monkey? To be outside with Steve at the beach?"

"Uh-huh," Grace's head wobbles with eyes big and joyful.

"I stay in the kitchen for a bit and prepare lunch, okay?" Danny knows Grace is going to be fine but he's not so sure he's ready for this challenge. He wants to be though. The vastness of the ocean scares him and all the horror movies with giant sharks roll through is mind. "You call me if you need something or you'll tell Steve, okay? He's taking good care of you."

"Yes," she answers and writhes like a snake in his arms. "I wanna go outside, Danno."

"Where's Steve?" He knows how important it is for Steve to dig around in the sand with Grace, to hear her laugh, and to see her joy. He knows that but still, it's Grace and there are tons of seawater rolling in steadily a few feet from where they want to build the sandcastle.

"He says he wants to get the towels." She runs out of the kitchen but comes right back. "Steve said he bought a turtle for me." Grace shouts breathlessly.

Danny smiles with eyes as big as saucers. "He bought a turtle for you? A living animal?"

Grace giggles and storms back into the kitchen. "No! Danno! A sun umbrella that looks like a turtle!" She's out of breath and leans against the chair.

Danny can't really grasp all the small events that have turned their lives upside down. During the last week, he hasn't slept one night at his apartment. And he spends all his spare time with Steve. It's been a whirlwind of emotional and colorful days.

"Danno!" Grace calls over to him. "I said Steve has a turtle umbrella for me."

Danny snaps out of his reverie. "Sorry Monkey, I got lost in thoughts." He strokes her hair, "a turtle umbrella! Wow! That sounds awesome. Why don't you show me?"

"Okay," Grace plucks at her bathing suit with the flower print. "I'm hungry."

"Do you like a sandwich? Ham and cheese with tomatoes? Yeah?" Danny cuts one of the prepared Jersey sandwiches in half. He hands her the plate. "Here Monkey, one is for Steve. Lunch is ready in an hour. You gonna start with – with what? Digging holes?"

"Come, I'll show you," Grace takes the plate and walks out the door. "Steve said we'll make a big castle and we dig a deep ditch so the water can stream right in. He said the waves will fill the ditch and it's fun to watch."

Danny's heart overflows with happiness seeing his little girl so excited about something. He worries way too much. They'll be fine having a wonderful beach day without him playing watchdog. "Where's your hat, Gracie? And what about your fancy sunglasses? Don't you want to put them on?" Danny follows her into the living room where he has put their luggage.

"Have you found your glasses?" Danny steps up to where his daughter kneels on the floor. He crouches down beside her.

She goes through the sports bag Danny has packed to bring to Steve's house. It's a big house with big rooms but it looks strangely empty and abandoned in some way. Steve spends more time at the flower shop than at his parent's house that is his real home. Mary and Kawika live right next door. Danny thinks it's beautiful to have a sister living so close by, her backyard only a few minutes down the beach. Steve could drop by any minute to have a chat, have breakfast together.

"Got it!" Grace shouts and shoves the pink flowery shades over her nose.

"You look like a beach lady with big plans." Danny takes the plate with the sandwich. "Come, let's go and see what's Steve up to all alone at the beach."

Grace dashes out the door before Danny can ask about the sunblock and the extra shirt.

Steve puts up the second sunshade right next to the turtle one. "Hey, Danno, shall I cream Gracie with sun cream?"

"I don't want it." Grace says, already busy with the buckets. "It's sticky and makes all the sand stay on my arms and knees." She whines a little and picks up the little shovel.

"It's hot out here, Grace. You have tender skin. We can't leave it unprotected." Steve explains with a gentle voice. "Let Danno decide what's best for you, okay? I'll put on some cream too if this makes you feel better?" Steve suggests and bites heartily into a juicy half of Danny's favorite Jersey sandwiches. "Ah, it tastes awesome." He keeps a distance and just gifts him with a smile.

Danny knows Steve's insecure how much affections he's allowed to share in front of Grace. "I take pride in prepping the most authentic New Jersey sandwiches. You're welcome." He winks and makes sure to hold Steve's gaze. "Grace, come do me a favor and put on this shirt. We can't have you catch a sunburn. That hurts and it's not good for your skin. And your mommy wouldn't be pleased with me."

Grace is digging, too busy to even reply. She stretches her arms over her head and let Danny put on the white, light shirt. "That's better, Monkey."

Steve also pulls a shirt over his head. "Look, Grace, partner look. See? I wear a shirt too. It's simple, effective sun protection." He darts another smile over at Danny. "You okay with me and Grace out here, Danny?" He drops to his knees next to Grace where she's busy digging holes and filling the plastic forms.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Don't worry." Danny bends down and adjusts Grace's hat. He kisses the top of her head and leans over to press a soft kiss to Steve's head, too. Grace doesn't even notice. Steve's warm hand caresses Danny's calf. "I'll be inside and prepare lunch. You'll shout if you need anything." Danny points a finger at Steve. "You take care of my little girl and don't let her be in the sun too long. Take breaks and come visit me some time so I know you haven't been washed out with the surf to God knows where."

Steve gifts him with an epic eye-roll. "Danny, I'm a SEAL and I spent my childhood at this beach. It's Hawaii and I know the rhythm of the tides like the back of my hand."

Danny wiggles with his index finger. "SEAL or no SEAL, you show up at the kitchen after an hour." He juts his chin in Steve's direction. "Is this understood?"

"Sure," Steve answers with a forced chuckle. "Your wish is my command."

"Hey," Danny makes Steve look at him, "I trust you." He emphasizes again.

Danny knows Steve's overeager to get it right for Grace and him. Danny's not as relaxed as he wished to be but he chooses a lighthearted voice to show Steve he's okay with him looking after his daughter. "Good. Have fun then." Danny turns and is about to walk back to the house. He taps the beaten wooden chair lightly and calls over his shoulder. "Steve, don't go swimming without the life vest on. Please?" He can't help it.

Steve gives him the thumbs up but the next second he's deepened in a serious conversation with Grace. They've got big plans. Danny walks back to the house with a warmer feeling in his stomach. This is better. It's going to be alright.

The flap flap flap sound reaches Danny's inattentive ear halfway into cooking his mother's famous tomato sauce. The lasagna sheets and the béchamel sauce are ready. Steve's kitchen smells like an Italian restaurant. He nibs at a spoon full of sauce to check what misses. He tries hard to keep the attention directed to cooking. His gut tells him to go check up on what's going on at the beach. But he stays inside and squashes the itch to act like an overprotective father. Steve's going to do great by being the adult looking after Grace.

Flap flap flap.

Cheese. He has forgotten to take the Parmigiano Reggiano out of the fridge. That's the best cheese to grate on top of the dish once all layers are filled in. Danny talks in his head to distract himself. Some odd worry spreads into his stomach and he can't figure out why. He shuts his eyes and counts to ten before he rinses a spoon and a knife under the running water.

The sound of the helicopter seems to spread wide into the sky, and it's getting closer and louder. Danny lifts his head to look out of the window. He sees a banner with the lettering 'newly married John and Amanda' and a big red heart. Danny watches a moment, seeing how the small airplane crosses the sky followed by one helicopter. No, two. Gosh, three helicopters approach through the sky. Some rich dude makes his kid's wedding a day to remember. Why do they need to fly over this part of the beach? The pilot makes sure the guests get what they've paid for. They fly so close by Danny can read the logo on the birds. Freaking idiots.

Danny's heart jumps to his throat and the cutlery clatters when he drops it in the sink. Helicopters and loud whirring rotor blades. Not good! Steve! Shit, is this…? Danny spins around and rushes through a safety check to make sure nothing's going to burn or boil over before he dashes out of the kitchen. He's not half-way through the living room when he hears Grace's scared and high-pitched voice, filled with dread, shouting his name.

"Danno! Daddy!"

Grace doesn't ever, ever call him daddy unless she's terrified.

"Grace! Gracie! I'm here! I'm coming!" Danny yells. Spiking Fear gives him an instant headache. He tastes blood in his mouth his heart beats so hard and fast. Danny yanks the door the lanai open. "GRACE!"

Danny bolts forward. He sees his daughter's face in tears; eyes wide with fear. She throws herself into his arms. Danny catches her and carries her immediately inside. He needs to check on her first, to make sure, she's unharmed. "Grace-baby, it's fine. Danno's here. Are you hurt? God, what's up, Monkey?" He carries her trembling little body over to the couch and keeps her pressed to his chest. He whispers soothing words and strokes her back to calm her. She doesn't seem hurt. "Are you hurt, baby?" He tries again.

Grace tucks her face into his throat and shakes her head. She's hot and sweaty and pants from running so fast.

Danny holds her in his arms until her sobs calm down. Only then he realizes what she's wearing. A life vest and big towel is thrown over her shoulders like a cape. Two floatation aids are pulled over each of her upper arms. She still wears the hat but her sunglasses are gone. Danny undoes the knot of the towel. His hands shake terribly. He's legs are numb from the shock that something might have happened to his little girl. He still hears the fucking helicopters in the sky. The sound seems deafeningly loud. He feels his heartbeat in his tongue. "Monkey, hey, sweetheart," he kisses her tear-stained cheek. "Baby, where… where's Steve?" He whispers against her hair with his nerves strung tight.

TBC

[antpernas]

1/23/21

This day was... whew boy. A trip.

So, we started off alright, we woke up at an OK time but didn’t end up getting ready to do stuff until after my parents had left for work. At that point, we decided to *get it on* which was SOOOO much fun. Douching together was hilarious, and a nice little throwback to when we first met. It was also nice to finally have sex with someone that I truly, deeply cared about again, and (MOST IMPORTANTLY) to have it be reciprocated. The fact that it was good sex was just a nice perk :) Definitely boosted my confidence with topping, since it had been so long!

After we finished up, we started getting ready to head north! Our first task was to test my kayak and see if it would hold up under our combined weights. The answer; barely! But barely would HAVE to do, since the beach I wanted to take him to was only accessible by boat or by kayak. We loaded my kayak, and this time I made sure that I actually grabbed the oars! Then, off we went!

Before we got to the park, we made a stop at Joseph’s market to get some lunch. Oh my GODDD how horrible a decision that was!! Scorpio was, yet again, overwhelmed with the many choices available to him. He ended up buying various quantities of different items, as opposed to doing the dinner combo like I had suggested, and spent just a bit too much money on food. But, GREAT food, so in my opinion it was worth it! Though, I’m sure his wallet didn’t feel the same.

Afterwards, we made a straight shot to the park, all the while making sure my kayak wasn’t slipping off my car to go tumbling into traffic like a large boulder the size of a small boulder. I think Scorpio ate a little bit while I was driving, and I, as always, took the opportunity to show him more music. This time, I showed him the soundtrack to the sequel of the game I tried to get us to play the night before, which we ended up dozing off while playing. Once we got there, I parked so I could eat my food, then we started getting ready to launch!

Getting into the kayak was the simple partl. The real challenge was getting across to the entrance. Poor Scorpio had to sit in the seat and row us across on this barely balanced kayak, otherwise the weight wasn’t properly distributed. I remember him asking me to hold him tighter while he rowed, which was just... UGH butterflies! It was in this moment that I started singing “Go the Distance,” sparking a new, very unique step in my intimacy with him. Singing seriously was something I had never done in front anyone, and especially not intentionally. I felt very vulnerable, but it was also kind of liberating. And he told me it helped, which made me feel even better. Soon enough, we made it across!

The walk to the beach was gorgeous, and we ended up sparking a discussion about Disney movies and Broadway musicals, which was a part of my memories I hadn’t brushed off in a LONG time. It was also interesting to hear about some of his experiences with them. As much as I love to talk, hearing him talk about his past or his life at any time he felt comfortable sharing it was so amazing. It was almost like it made him seem more real to me, like he wasn’t just this perfect, extraterrestrial angel that brought happiness everywhere he went, but in fact, a human! It was nice.

We ended up singing some more until we got to the beach, which was choppy as SHIT. I already knew from the clouds that it wouldn’t be a good day for snorkeling, but to say I had anticipated the water to be that bad would be a lie. We ended up making an attempt for a few minutes before we just decided to swim normally and then walk the beach and chat more. At some point, we turned around to start trying to get to the exit, but we couldn’t find it! We ended up passing it and hitting the north end of the beach/island, talking about musicals and stuff the entire way there. We found a pretty cool abandoned jetty/pier thing, though, which was SUPER cool. We decided to risk losing the daylight and walked along it while chatting some more.

We got a ways into the path before he stopped me for a second and said there was something he wanted to tell me.

Oh boy.

He didn’t even finish the sentence before I knew where this was going. And then he said it. “I just don’t think I like you that way... You’re like a bro to me.” Surprisingly, I took this pretty well at first! I didn’t cry, didn’t pout, and I think I handled it pretty well. But then we sort of finished the conversation that we were having and it went dead silent between us. And THAT’S when I started to feel it.

I don’t even think I can recount the absolute rollercoaster of emotions and thoughts I had while we started searching for the exit again. I tried my best to be as sweet and enthusiastic as I normally was with him, but I just wasn’t in the headspace to do it, I don’t think. And halfway through the walk back to the dock from the beach exit, I just started choking on my tears. I remember just being so very... conflicted? Angry? Sad? I just couldn’t even begin to piece it together. I was disgusted with myself for thinking I was mad at Scorpio simply because he didn’t feel the same way about me, and I felt stupid for even thinking to feel entitled to that from him in the first place, even though, up until that point, it had never occurred to me that I was! I still don’t even think I was; my mind was just trying to jump to an easy answer to the questions I had bouncing in my head, and blaming Scorpio seemed like the most simple solution, even though every part of me knew that’s not what I wanted to do.

I kept thinking about it, though, and once we were coming up on the entrance, I finally realized who I was REALLY angry at; myself. I was angry because I felt stupid for devoting so much of myself to someone who never felt the same way, for potentially making someone I cared about so much feel that they were obligated to show me that same affection back. Once I came upon this realization, the waterworks REALLY started coming down. But it was liberating to know that I wasn’t truly angry at Scorpio. Really, all I felt in my heart for him was, and is, love. And it was comforting to know that there was nothing more to this situation than that it just. Plain. Sucked. We can’t control who we get butterflies for, and it just so happened that Scorpio didn’t feel that way for me. And that’s okay!

(Sidebar, he chipped his toenail soon after he told me that, and joked that the universe was already putting him in his place. I have a thing to say about that later.)

And this is when I asked myself one very important question; what’s next? That’s what I got to mull on once we got to the kayak and I had to hold him while he rowed us across again, still in silence.

Loading the kayak was a bit of a chore, but we managed to do it and started heading on our way. As much as I tried to hold back my tears once we started going, it just wasn’t happening. This was especially true once I REALLY tried to choke them back to finish talking about the soundtrack to the game I was showing him. The floodgates were OPENED. But it was a relief.

We started chatting and I got what I wanted to say off my chest; that it was all okay. That I realized I’m just mad at myself, and that it’s not his fault that he doesn’t feel the same way for me (not that he needed my validation or anything). I thanked him for being honest and giving me the chance to see him again, as well as this closure, and I apologized for being distant while we were heading back to my car. He was reassuring through all of this, telling me that it was okay, and making sure I understood that he still wanted to be friends, as long as I wanted to be.

And this is when I sort of came upon an answer to that question. I realized a LOT in that hour~ long period after he told me what he needed to, but perhaps the most important takeaway for me is that I just want to be happy. All the other details about situations are semantics; if I love someone and it makes me happy to spend time with them, then I should do it! And if it doesn’t, then I won’t. It’s as simple as that. It doesn’t matter if we’re dating, if we’re friends, or whatever it may be; I didn’t even have concrete definitions for those anyway, so this thought process was the real answer to all my problems. Do what makes me happy. And Scorpio makes me happy. So even if he doesn’t love me the same way, if he wants to be friends, then I’m thankful he’s not just cutting me out of his life and I get to spend more time with him some day! I just need time to get over the heartbreak and adjust to our new relationship. A strong relationship at that.

The “thing” I had to say earlier was that I didn’t by any means want Scorpio to feel as though he deserved some kind of punishment just for breaking my heart. I can already imagine it sucks to hurt someone you care about, and the last thing I would ever want is to rub salt in his wounds. I may poke fun about it in the future when we see each other again, but I would never want to make him feel as though he needs to truly be ashamed or guilty for being honest with me. It’s sort of for this same reason that I don’t like saying he “broke my heart.” Even though he did, just saying it like that paints him as an antagonist, when really, he was just honest with me, and he still means the world to me. He made me realize I need better friends, JAJA!

But, yeah! That was my internal journey, and after that all that was left was to heal, mostly. On the way home, I gushed more about the soundtrack and we chatted about my background with music. He said he was always impressed with me and how I’d taught myself so much about music, and it made me feel all sheepish, but good! We stopped at my old middle school and took a walk around the park/trail right outside of it, and chatted a little bit more about me and my childhood. Once we finished there, we hopped back in the car and went home.

For the most part, home was alright! The only weird part was figuring out our new boundaries, and since everything was so fresh, I wasn’t sure where I wanted to set them. Of course, the ball was in my court, but I didn’t want to suddenly turn on a dime and act as if I didn’t like Scorpio at all, because that would never be the case! My second greatest regret of that trip was not cuddling him when we went to sleep that night.

EDIT: I LIED we tried to play Monument Valley before we went to sleep but we ended up dozing off. Also we talked about our views on relationships when we parked at Red Reef park.

[scifi-cheddar-cheese]

Crystal’s Duel

“And that wraps up Elusiun history for today class, please pack up and head to your next class. And no running in the hall…”

Odessa ignored her teacher’s droning. She quickly packed up her books. Into her bag went her Elusiun history textbook, Magical studies notebook, Arithmetic binder, and physiology literature. She struggled to zip up her bag before throwing it on her back and running out the door towards her English class. She stopped only once, to not catch the attention of her least favorite peers, Billi and Crystal.

“Look at her. Bet she couldn’t even summon fire if her life depended on it!” Billi joked. Crystal laughed deeply, as if to say that Odessa was nothing.

“Hey, not everyone is born with the ability to summon lighting and animate a chair. Some of us have to learn it.” retorted Odessa. Unlike Billi and Crystal, Odessa wasn’t born with magic, she had to learn it. Odessa was fed up. Every day she would encounter the two, who would trip her and shame her until she could find an escape, usually in the form of the school bell. Odessa knew that they wanted her either dead or far away from her. She didn’t know their motivation, but decided to just avoid them as much as possible.

“If you’re so good, then try and beat me. I’ll see you on the dueling ground, after last class tomorrow” remarked Billi.

“Um..ye..yeah. Sure.” Odessa was caught off guard. She stammered, and immediately regretted what she had said. She didn’t want to duel! Odessa was terrified. Under school rules, duels were technically allowed, as long as no one was harmed. Billi was not one to play by the rules though, and Odessa had heard rumors that Billi had sent other students to the hospital with her duels. Odessa tried to push the issue out of her mind; she couldn’t think about it. She was just being hyperbolic, and paranoid. Nothing was going to happen to her, or at least that’s what she wanted to believe.

Odessa had heard rumors of Billi having sent others home or even to the hospital, and Odessa had a habit of fearing for the worst. She had no idea of what to do; she knew she couldn’t beat Billi through defense or simple attacks, so a different tactic would be necessary. Odessa spent all night at the town library, browsing through old spell books and dueling books for any clue on how to beat her enemies. She slowly and painfully combed through dozens of books; those on spell casting techniques, defense strategies, correct stances, as well as many many more. Odessa was in a frantic state. She had accepted a duel; if she ditched it, she would be in the best case expelled; one could not abandon a duel previously agreed too, and one could not make a false agreement, as that would be a lie. She might be officially dishonored, if it was found that her lie was so great. She didn’t know what to do, but right as she was about to accept her fate, in death or dishonor, she had a bright idea, and hatched a master plan.

Odessa sprinted to the library after class, to try and cram in as much knowledge as possible for the next day. She wanted to learn basic self-defense spells, in fear for the worst. The worst part was Crystal; she was under a subjugation spell cast by Billi. And even worse, Odessa really liked her. They had been great friends for years before Billi; before she was spelled, she was sweet, humble and kind. Since she had fallen in with Billi, she had turned for the worse. She became cold and unfeeling, just a pawn in Billi’s sick game.

Odessa finally left the library and trekked home at 4 in the morning, and hopped into bed to sleep for a few hours before her big day.

She was awoken not at 6:30, as her alarm had intended, but instead at 7:30 by her mom shaking her awake; she was about to miss the school bus.

“Odessa…Odessa! Get Up! You’re late for school! Come on!” Odessa’s mom was yelling.

“Ugh, what time is it? Big day today.” Odessa groaned. She never slept well, but this was something else.

“Where’s dad?” she asked, as he used to wake her up too. Odessa was, at that point, too tired to remember that her father hadn’t even looked at her since she came out. She groaned, and tried to roll back into bed. Her mom hadn’t waken her up for school in a while. She didn’t understand why she would have started today.

“It’s 7:30” With this, Odessa shot up. She was going to be really late. She got out of bed, and her mom ran out the door to attend to their own lateness. She rushed over to her book bag, grabbing her school books and her practice wand. Today, it would not be a practice wand. Today, it would fight.

Odessa didn’t have time to eat morning meal, or say goodbye to her pet lizard Addy. She ran out the door and managed to slip onto the bus just as it was pulling away. As per usual, Odessa sat alone on the school bus. This time, however, she didn’t mind; she was busy plotting out her exact moves. She had to know exactly what to cast and when; time is of the essence when your enemy is casting deadly spells at you.

Arriving at school, the same sight emerged as always; groups of friends huddled together, waiting until the last moment before the bell to run into class and take a seat. Odessa always ignored them; she would run through the hallways, weaving through the cliques and trying her best to avoid Billi and Crystal. She spent most of her free time at the library; she often read books about magic to expand her spell portfolio; she wasn’t born with the gift, but she was going to try damn well to earn it.

First period went as normal; Odessa didn’t understand why she should learn Latin, a dead language. In her mind, it was just a filler class, demanded by the sticklers and the elders who wanted to keep their antiquated traditions alive. If any spells were written in latin, she would learn that but to learn a whole language was useless. Second period was Arithmetic. That was okay for Odessa, she earned decent marks and was somewhat interested in the material. Third period was martial arts. Odessa liked martial arts; she was one of the best students on most days. On this day, though, Odessa was too distracted. She missed several instructions and lost her sparring match. After class, she was approached by her teacher.

“Odessa, are you alright? You seem kind of out of it today.” The teacher was concerned. Odessa seemed to just be staring off blankly into the distance. Shaking her head and finally looking at her teacher, she responded

“Oh yeah…I’m fine. I’m just a little stressed out. Stressed, that’s all.”

“Alright, if you say so. Hurry along to your next class, the bell is about to ring.” With that, Odessa ran off to her fourth class, physiology. Odessa had always found physiology fascinating; it was also a nice distraction from the events that were to happen shortly after.

She took a short break for lunch, where she sat in an empty classroom, analyzing her plan one more time. She couldn’t mess up; an error would result in pain, dishonor, or worse. Odessa questioned why she ever agreed to this, and if she could get away with not going. She eventually had to put her foot down and decide that she had to go; she had to show Billi that she couldn’t get away with this, she couldn’t keep hurting people who didn’t follow her every demand.

The rest of her classes seemed to just flow together like school soup; Odessa couldn’t pay enough attention to her teachers to make out what they were saying. She started to doubt herself; what if her dad was right? what if she was a lost cause? She didn’t think she was going to be able to carry out her plan. But if she did, she would change things for the much, much better.

Odessa walked out of class and to the back of the school with a grim look on her face and a swarm of bees in her stomach. She slowly made her way to the dueling ground out back, where Billi was practicing her casting and Crystal was on the sidelines, chewing bubble gum.

“Took you long enough. I’ve been waiting forever.” said Billi. School had only ended 15 minutes ago, so she had been waiting that long or had skipped class (an activity she was not above doing).

“Billi, I don’t want to do this. I don’t want anyone to get hurt.” Odessa stated nervously.

“I’ve been waiting for this for years. You parading around, thinking you can outshine us with your books and your learned magic. Only us true bornes can really have magic. You all are just fakes.” This infuriated Odessa. She had worked her entire life to earn her magic; she had devoted every waking moment to it. Odessa almost broke her plan, but managed to keep her composure.

“Can you guys start already? I want to see Odessa in pain! Come on!” yelled Crystal. She was on her 7th piece of bubble gum. This stung Odessa like a bee, a sharp pain right to her heart. She knew this wasn’t the real Crystal, even if it seemed like it was. Odessa walked over to her spot. All she had was her wand, her wit and her luck.

Odessa and Billi both raised their wands at each other. Crystal counted down

“3…2…1…..Begin!” Billi closed her eyes, and being muttering her spell. She opened her eyes to fire only to see Odessa’s wand pointed at Crystal, to her utter shock.

At that moment, time seemed to stop for Odessa. A green lightning bolt barreling right towards her, her wand pointed squarely at Crystal, and a phrase being muttered from her lips:

“Libertas et release” (Freedom and Release). At that moment, everything came back into focus for Odessa. She quickly jumped out of the way as Billi’s spell cascaded towards her, hitting the building behind her and burning the paint. Billi tried again and again, burning the points where she hit. On the other side of the dueling grounds, Crystal shook her head. She was confused. Why was she on the dueling ground? Why was she chewing bubble gum? She hated bubble gum! She noticed Billi, her bully, shooting dangerous magic at her friend, Odessa. Crystal jumped in.

“Hey asshole!” yelled Crystal.

“Thank god Crystal, you’re the most powerful witch I know. Help me!” Yelled Billi.

“Help you? Why? Why are you trying to hurt Odessa?” responded Crystal, confused. Billi had the realization that her subjugation spell had been broken, and her minion was now free. Odessa yelled another spell, for disarmament. Billi’s wand flew straight into Odessa’s hand. She examined it, staring closely at the artistry and quality of it.

“This ends now. You won’t do this to anyone again.” With that, Crystal quietly whispered as obscure latin phrase

“Vento flare ad caelum, ut captivus amittere potestatem a nativitate (the wind blow to the sky, as if to lose power from birth).” Billi fell to the ground. A blue smoke started to emerge from her figure, seeping out of her body and up to the sky.

“Her powers are gone. She’ll have to learn magic just like everyone else.”

Odessa woke up with her alarm the next day. She headed downstairs after packing her bag, Billi’s wand included. Her mom passed through to say hello before heading out to work. Odessa quickly finished her morning meal of beans and bread and hopped on the school bus. She sat alone again, but wasn’t upset like she was yesterday. She didn’t have anything to worry about; she had won.

When she arrived at school, Odessa was surprised to see that everyone was talking about the same thing; Billi. Billi had been shaming and dishonoring students for years, but she had finally been beaten. She lost, for once, and seemed to have lost for good. She hadn’t learned any of her powers, they were all from birth; she didn’t have any left in her. The halls were abuzz with the news that her powers were stolen, or destroyed; maybe even bottled up and kept in a jar.

Odessa saw Billi a few times throughout the day. She saw her trying to win over Crystal, which failed, trying to cheat on her English exam, which failed, and generally trying to maintain some dignity after having lost it all.

Odessa was entertained by this, but again distracted. She couldn’t pay attention in her classes, she was lucky to make out her English teacher’s discussing of literary works, or her physiology professor discussing the shape of the photoreceptors in orc eyes. She had a date; word of her duel victory over Billi spread fast, leading to a secret admirer. Odessa fantasized about who it would be all day, dreaming through her arithmetics and magic studies class, which led to a very embarrassing exchange with Professor Fireshard.

Odessa walked out of school smiling. She was meeting for coffee with her date 30 minutes after school ended at the town cafe. She got there 20 minutes early and took a seat, shaking with anticipation. Right on cue, her date walked in.

“May I sit?” asked Crystal.

[erlenmeyertrash]

ramble about collegiate tips!!!

COLLEGIATE TIPS you get me <3

tips for college... but make it Quarantine: (sidenote these have only been tried by my able-bodied neurotypical self so. this isn’t psychiatric advice)

bored? go on a walk. go physically outside. open a window and take several laps around the house if that can’t happen. do some sit-ups. do some yoga. stretch!! your neck and back and joints!! wash your face. brush your teeth again. lie on your stomach and doodle on paper like you’re 5

can’t focus during a lecture? stand up at your desk. sit on the floor in a patch of sunlight. Change The Surroundings. text your friends (or lmao make a tumblr post) saying i am going to pay attention to this lecture and tell you what i learned afterwards. make it a challenge.

running out of food? can’t find the energy to Make a Meal? peanut butter and honey in a bowl. that’s it. or just a spoonful of peanut butter. also stay hydrated blease

freaking out about grades? life? the future? send an email. email your TA. email your prof. email your advisor. email the counseling center. email your parents. email your pen pal from 2011. i will literally help you draft this email i kid you not.

parents/siblings/roommates making it hard to focus but you hate conflict? slam the door before lecture. write a note and put it on your door. complain about having to listen to a professor via Zoom for hours on end. use headphones. steal headphones. try and explain that the education system has refused to slow down and you need to be able to focus. email the prof and ask for lecture recordings because your home life is super loud/not accommodating.

lonely? schedule discord dates!! zoom dates!! facetime dates!! do a screenshare and host a virtual movie night. heck just call someone for the h e c k of it (and to end it you can just say “well i’ll let you go/i just wanted to check in” so you’re not stuck). social interaction is a Weird Thing rn but it’s boosted my mood to interact with friends so far in any capacity

feel like you’re falling behind? these are unprecedented circumstances. your brain is running on low-power-mode with half the thrusters devoted to a mild fight or flight response. we don’t know how to react to this, and that’s okay! i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again. take this one day at a time. NOBODY is out here absolutely flourishing all of a sudden.

disappointed about not physically graduating or getting a ceremony? ...yeah. me too. and it’s okay to feel like crap about it. don’t put yourself down because others might have it worse. be proud of yourself!! this is a huge accomplishment.

when’s the last time you ate a vegetable? yeah, that’s what i thought. go eat a vegetable- and a GOOD one, too, not something that’s 90% water.

okay now for wild-type collegiate:

...it’s. it’s gonna be overwhelming. it’s a lot! you will learn as much about yourself as you do about whatever you decide to study. but here are some tips that i may or may not have already said a thousand times:

drink. water. get a water bottle. get 800 redbubble stickers and slap them on the bottle. now take it everywhere.

make friends with your advisors early on. they’re the ones to write to when you need to get forced into a class your senior year. if you come in for easy questions, are nice, etc. they’ll be much more amiable and willing to help you out.

try to introduce yourself to the prof and/or TA on the first day/week. if nothing else, you’ll be more comfortable if you ever have to panic email them later on

turning in late work is ALWAYS better than no work at all.

i have to sit within the first three rows or i’m a lost cause, so find where you’re the least distracted (likely the first 1-3 rows) and sit there forever

learn how to cut through buildings to shave like 5 minutes and countless weather mishaps off your commute time

know!! your sleep and productivity schedules. try to stick to them. i am physically incapable of being alive for an 8 am, and i’m most productive around sunset, so i love to stick classes between 9:30 and 3:00 with a break in between and calmly let myself eat and de-stress from mid-afternoon until early evening. there are people who can schedule all their classes from 8-10 and be productive all day and i am not one of them. college is the first time you get to plan your schedule, and perhaps will be the only time you can schedule your day to begin at 12:30 in the afternoon, so use that to your advantage

USE AND STICK WITH SOME FORM OF ORGANIZATIONAL SYSTEM. any kind of calendar i swear. it’ll save your life

download and save your syllabi!!!! this is a tip that i really hadn’t heard until i was already in grad school, but this can definitely help when you’re looking at course equivalencies or to talk about work/educational experience. if you haven’t no sweat, just start now

try to make at least mild acquaintances/contacts in each class, especially those major-related- this is just for missed classwork or “what the heck is question 3 even asking me?!” stuff. also make as many friends as you can comfortably handle. don’t overwork yourself socially because you think everyone has to be a social butterfly in college

college isn’t for everyone. your major might not be right for you. your college situation (out-of-state, living on campus, taking 21 hours a semester) might not be right for you. don’t give yourself crap if it is! figure out what you can study and/or work with without burning yourself out, and run full-speed ahead at it. it’s rough to find the balance between “idk i just think this is neat” and “i will spend the next 4+ years studying This and then the rest of my foreseeable future Doing This” but if you miscalculated the first time, just try again.

you will, at some point in college, be rejected from something. or be scared of getting rejected. or get a really, really harsh criticism from someone you admire. do it. don’t back down. rejections are important!! they are learning experiences academically and emotionally. they help you improve and they help you learn how to be rejected. if you graduate college and have Never been rejected from anything in your entire life, the world has set you up for a potential failure when you are completely caught off-guard the first time it happens and you’re well into your late 20s. this is coming from someone who teared up in a therapist’s office at the mere THOUGHT of being rejected from grad school. it’s literally more okay to cry on a college campus than anywhere else in the world

if you can, take a class Outside your major. i’m taking “Dystopian Writers” rn as a genetics major and it’s so neat to hear people discuss stuff i never would have thought about or experienced otherwise.

if you’ve got specific educational/collegiate questions throw em at me- i tried to make this general. however. hope this hELPS