#yeah yeah yeah I get it killing is bad blah blah blah

[francisforever2014]

Pls explain the destiel baby I have never watched supernatural and I am v curious ^_^

YAYYYY destiel baby. okay so this is jack . he is somehow the spitting image of castiel in a way that is actually kinda creepy

so basically. LMFAOOOO okay sorry i forgot how ridiculous this plot is. ok so in season 12 lucifer comes back. somehow. i actually don't remember but he's back after being banished for like 7 seasons. okay and he possesses the president. yeah of the united states. who is having an affair with his secretary. and he impregnates her. but he's LUCIFER. so she is pregnant with an evil angel baby. and sam dean and cas find out bc they've been tracking him down or whatever and all the angels find out and they're like WE NEED TO ABORT THAT THING NOWWWWWWW. bc the half human baby of an archangel would be super powerful and it's lucifer's baby so it would be evil too. bad stuff.

so half of the season is literally sam dean and cas chasing this woman (kelly) around trying to convince her to get an angel abortion 😭 but she's like NO my baby will save the world. and she eventually convinces cas of this so he takes her into hiding and the baby is like. communicating with both of them. from the womb. and it forms an attachment with cas (?). crucially cas and kelly have absolutely no romantic connection. like he's jacks dad but he's basically kellys doula. anyways blah blah blah kelly has the baby in the season finale and there's a big fight or something and cas DIES. and yeah this is like the 5th time he's died but this time him and dean were pretty much common law married so it really hits this time. oh and also bc jack is an angel he just ages himself up for funsies.

okay so the first 5 episodes of season 13 are what's known as the "widower arc" bc dean is . you guessed it. acting like a widower who's wife (cas) died in childbirth (jack). and sam and dean take jack in but they also think he's probably maybe evil but maybe not. and dean is super mean to him while also drinking insane amounts of alcohol and literally killing himself on one occasion. like i'm not joking when i say dean is always killing himself. he has a little kit from a previous episode that has medicine in it to stop his heart and he uses it to solve like. a regular monster of the week case. and death herself is like damnnnnn dude your life sucks and you straight up wish you were dead huh? so she lets him live to spite him. anyways dean comes back to life and is like my life sucks and i need a win so fucking bad rn. and then. BAM cas is resurrected. and dean is literally happier than anybody has ever seen him.

and then cas is basically jack's dad for the rest of the series and dean is like a gruff but overall loving step dad most of the time. except for when he tried to shoot him that one time but he didn't end up going through with it and a lot of other stuff happened and god was basically manipulating him into doing it. and he didn't do it bc of #love and #family. and dean and cas have a custody dispute over him with lucifer. and at one point sam and dean's dad comes back for an episode and he's like dean i wish you settled down and had a family. and dean says. and i quote. i have a family. and it's gold bc we get shots like this

where jack looks like their biological son. so yeah. destiel baby. sam is his uncle kinda. bobby refers to jack as "that kid of yours" to dean in the finale in heaven i think but i refuse to watch it. destiel baby!!!!

[letstrywritingmaybe]

I got new library books, I’m excited to read a Cordelia Gray novel! I probably should start with the first book, but I was impatient and I saw the second one at the library and decided to check it out.

Writing wise au gust is still going though tomorrow’s and the next days are both shinshi so go figure. I should find time to write my actual WIPs. The sibling verse is due for an update and I gotta write midnights of course.

[themyscirah]

Vanessa didn't even die and yet her story is still sadder and more fucked up than jtodd's. He wishes he was on her level

[vitrines]

IS THERE DISCOURSE OVER ARG!SUNSHIP. no way. i think they’re evil and messed up and silly and toxic yuri and i love it like

[solxamber]

Trash Novel Chronicles: I'd Rather Date the Male Lead's Dad - Lilia Vanrouge x reader

When you end up in your best friend's favourite but absurd novel about breaking a fae prince's curse, you didn't expect to get attached to his little family too. Even more unexpected? You fell for the male lead's dad, but hey it looks like he likes you too.

Series Masterlist

You love your best friend. You really, really do. But sometimes—sometimes—the things they drag you into make you question your life choices. This time? It’s a novel. A bad one.

The plot is borderline unreadable, but somehow, it’s now your problem. Because of course it is.

“So, listen,” your friend had said, waving the book around like it was some kind of literary masterpiece. “Malleus Draconia, the fae prince, is cursed—chained up in this forest. The curse can only be broken by someone who isn’t attracted to him. But here’s the kicker: he’s so hot that no one can break the curse. For ten years.”

“Uh-huh.” You’d nodded along, already feeling your brain cells start to wave white flags of surrender. But your friend continued.

“The main character stumbles upon him after years of drama and frees him because they’re the only one not drooling over him. Then they fall in love, blah, blah, blah.”

At this point, you were barely listening. But then they dropped the bomb. Your eyes were shutting and you felt the sweet embrace of sleep call to you.

“Also, there’s this subplot where a magical plague of squirrels overruns the kingdom, the Saint betrays everyone by secretly being a double agent for some shadowy organization, and—get this—there’s a surprise paternity reveal where the devil is the father of the Saint who turns out to be the evil villain controlling everything.”

Your face had hit the pillow as your soul left your body.

And somehow, the next thing you remember is waking up dead. Or, more specifically, reincarnated. In the body of the heroine. In that story.

You can't believe the story was so terrible that it killed you.

The first thing you notice when you wake up is that the room is way too fancy for your tastes. The bed is massive, the sheets feel like they cost more than your entire existence, and the walls are adorned with tacky portraits of people who are probably supposed to be important.

“Oh, no,” you groan, rubbing your eyes. “This can’t be happening.”

But it is. You’re in the novel. The very one your friend had been yammering about. And not only are you in it, but you’ve woken up a full year before the plot is supposed to kick off. A year of waiting for terrible drama, an ex-fiancé who can’t take a hint, and a poor fae prince you’re supposed to rescue.

But you? Yeah, you’re not that patient.

“No way am I waiting a whole year for some garbage plot to unfold,” you mutter, throwing the covers off. “I’m just going to free Malleus now, take my reward, and live a quiet, drama-free life by the beach.”

With that plan firmly in mind, you march out the door.

It takes a bit of wandering through some overly cursed forest, but you eventually find Malleus’s “prison.” And honestly? It’s not nearly as dramatic as you expected.

There he is, sitting in the middle of a clearing, chained up in some kind of spooky-but-also-weirdly-ornate setup. He looks just as the novel described: tall, dark-haired, horns giving him an air of mystery and power. But what you weren’t prepared for? The way his eyes widen slightly in surprise when he sees you.

“I wasn’t expecting… company,” Malleus says, his voice soft, almost tentative.

You pause for a second. He looks intimidating, sure, but there’s something oddly… sweet about him. Like a guy who’d get excited over a party invite and then be too shy to actually show up.

“Yeah, I’m just here to get this whole ‘curse-breaking’ thing out of the way,” you say casually, walking up to the chains. “I’ve got stuff to do.”

Malleus blinks, looking a bit confused. “You… are not attracted to me?”

You snort. “Nah, not really. You’re nice to look at, don’t get me wrong, but I’ve got my own problems. Let’s just get you free so I can collect my reward and move on.”

He still looks mildly surprised but nods. “Very well.”

With a shrug, you reach out and touch the chains. There’s a brief flicker of light, and they dissolve. Just like that.

Malleus looks down at his freed wrists, clearly shocked. “It… it worked.”

“Yeah, wild, right?” you say, brushing off your hands. “So, about that reward…”

Before you can finish, Malleus stands and, in a tone so polite it makes you feel guilty, says, “You have freed me. Please, allow me to invite you to stay at my castle. As a guest.”

You blink at him. “Uh, no thanks. I’m good.”

Malleus’s expression falters for a moment, and you swear he looks a little sad. “But… I would like to repay you for your kindness.”

He’s giving you this look, all wide-eyed and hopeful, and you realize—he just wants to hang out.

Oh no.

“Ugh, fine,” you groan. “I’ll stick around for a bit.”

The way his face lights up is honestly too pure for someone who was supposed to be all intimidating and all-powerful.

When you arrive at Malleus’s castle, things get interesting real fast. You’re greeted by his entourage—Sebek, who looks like he’s one insult away from going Super Saiyan; Silver, who’s napping on his feet; and Lilia, who seems like the embodiment of chaos.

Sebek is the first to speak, scowling at you with righteous fury. “How DARE you approach Lord Malleus with such insolence!”

You roll your eyes. “I just freed him. You’re welcome.”

Sebek looks like he’s about to explode, but Lilia steps forward, his sharp grin making you instantly suspicious. “Oh? You broke the curse? Without being… swayed by our dear Malleus’s charms?”

“Yup,” you say, popping the ‘p.’ “Didn’t even break a sweat.”

Lilia’s eyes gleam with amusement. “Fascinating. You must have quite the willpower. Or perhaps…” He looks you up and down, clearly intrigued. “You simply have different tastes?”

You blink. Then, without thinking, you point at him. “Actually, yeah. You’re hot.”

There’s a beat of stunned silence, during which Sebek looks like he’s been hit with a brick, and Lilia lets out a delighted laugh.

“Oh, you are a delight,” Lilia says, his eyes twinkling with mischief. “Perhaps you should stay longer.”

“You think I’m joking, but I’m not,” you deadpan, earning a grin from Lilia.

Silver, meanwhile, is still half-asleep and completely unfazed by your chaos. “Good job on freeing Malleus,” he mutters, yawning.

Malleus, who has been silent this whole time, finally speaks up. “You… do not find me attractive?”

You turn to him and sigh. “Look, it’s not that you’re not attractive. You’re, like… objectively pretty. But I don’t really go for the whole cursed prince thing.”

Malleus seems to process this slowly, his brows furrowing slightly. “I see…”

“But don’t worry,” you add quickly, feeling a bit bad for the guy. “You’re sweet. It’s a compliment, really.”

Malleus looks a little less confused and a bit more happy. “Sweet? No one has ever called me that before.”

You snort. “Well, I’m calling it now. And hey, you’ve got your freedom, right? Now you can get invited to all those parties you wanted.”

At this, Malleus’s eyes widen slightly, and you realize—oh no, he’s the type who really just wants to be invited to stuff.

“Oh,” you mutter under your breath, “you’re like a giant puppy, aren’t you?”

Malleus tilts his head, clearly confused, but before he can ask, Lilia leans in with a knowing grin. “I think you’ll fit in just fine around here.”

You sigh, rubbing your temples. “This is gonna be a long stay, isn’t it?”

Lilia’s smile widens. “Oh, most definitely.”

Later, you’re sitting around the dining hall with the group when Lilia casually brings up the dreaded plot points.

“So, when do you think the magical plague of squirrels will hit?” he asks, almost too casually.

You nearly choke on your drink. “The what now?”

“Oh, didn’t you know?” Lilia smirks. “There’s a prophecy. The squirrels will overrun the kingdom unless someone stops them.”

You blink. “This is real? I thought that part was a fever dream.”

Malleus nods seriously. “The squirrels are quite the threat.”

You slam your head on the table. “I’m trapped in a nightmare.”

Silver, half-asleep as always, just yawns. “I’ll take care of them. Probably.”

And that’s when you realize: maybe you should have let the curse be.

You didn’t mean for it to happen, but you and Malleus… well, you’ve become friends. It started small, mostly casual conversations where he’d hover around, awkward but eager, just happy to be included. There was this one time you invited him to tea, and the poor guy looked like he was about to cry from happiness. Now? You’re taking your frienship to the next level.

“Hey,” you say, strolling into the throne room where Malleus is doing the farthest thing from brooding. He’s just kind of standing there, staring out the window like he’s daydreaming about a really nice picnic. “Want to go to the market with me?”

The look on his face is priceless. His eyes widen like you’ve just handed him a golden ticket to the best party of the year. “You… want me to accompany you?”

“Yeah,” you shrug, as if this isn’t the biggest deal of his life. “I need to pick up some stuff, and I figured it’d be more fun with a friend. Plus, y’know, maybe someone will actually give me a discount if you’re there.”

Malleus looks like you just offered him the world “I would be honored.”

And that’s how you, Malleus, and the rest of his chaotic entourage—because of course they followed—ended up at the bustling market.

Sebek? Less than thrilled. In fact, you think he might actually be foaming at the mouth. “I cannot believe you are fraternizing with Lord Malleus so casually! Do you not understand the honor you’ve been given?!”

“Sebek,” you sigh, waving a hand dismissively, “we’ve been over this. I’m his friend. Friends do normal stuff together. You know, like going to the market.”

Sebek glares at you like you’ve just insulted his entire bloodline. “Lord Malleus does not engage in such trivialities!”

“Uh,” you glance over at Malleus, who is currently inspecting a row of intricately carved fruit. “He’s literally doing it right now, Sebek.”

Malleus turns to you, holding up a fruit shaped like a tiny dragon. “Would you like to try one? It is said to bring good fortune.”

You grin at him. “If you’re offering, I’m down.”

Sebek looks like he’s about to explode from sheer indignation.

“You dare—!”

“Sebek,” Malleus cuts in, his voice as gentle as ever. “I am quite enjoying myself. There’s no need to worry.”

You grin at the sight. “You’re really into this, huh?”

Malleus glances at you, a little bashful but still smiling. “I have never been invited to something like this before. It is… a new experience.”

Oh god, he’s so sweet. You feel like you’re corrupting a baby deer by dragging him into the real world, but it’s so worth it.

Lilia, however, is having the time of his life. He leans over, grinning like the mischievous little gremlin he is, and whispers in your ear, “I must say, you’ve got quite the charm. Lord Malleus rarely accepts invitations. You might be more important to him than you think.”

You snort. “Yeah, well, maybe he just really likes fruit.”

Lilia laughs, a sound that’s equal parts endearing and dangerous. “Or maybe he enjoys your company, hm?”

“Careful,” you say, flashing a grin. “Keep sweet-talking me like that, and I might start flirting back.”

Lilia’s eyes gleam with amusement. “Oh? I think I’d enjoy that.”

Oh god, he’s not backing down. Now you’re in the deep end. “Listen, if you keep going, I’m gonna have to ask if you’ve got plans for dinner.”

“I’m free this evening,” Lilia replies smoothly. “Shall I prepare a feast? Or perhaps we could have something more… intimate?”

You blink at him, unable to tell if he’s messing with you or if this is just how he operates. Either way, you’re so down to find out.

Before you can respond, Sebek cuts in, voice raised to what can only be described as ‘angry airhorn.’ “You will not speak so casually to Master Lilia!”

“Oh, Sebek, relax,” you say, patting him on the shoulder, which is a mistake because it feels like patting a brick wall. “He likes it.”

Lilia winks at you, thoroughly enjoying the chaos. “Indeed, I do.”

You smirk, shooting Lilia a playful look. “See? The man’s practically begging for attention.”

Malleus, meanwhile, has been watching this entire exchange with mild confusion. “Is this what humans call… flirting?”

You give him an exaggerated nod. “Yup. It’s a sacred tradition. Very serious stuff.”

“I see,” Malleus muses, looking between you and Lilia. “Perhaps I should try it as well?”

“Oh, please don’t,” Sebek groans, looking absolutely horrified at the idea of Malleus flirting. “Lord Malleus, you are above such trivial pursuits!”

Lilia is practically cackling at this point. “Now, now, Sebek. It wouldn’t hurt to let Malleus explore new experiences.”

You grin and elbow Malleus lightly. “Don’t listen to Sebek. You can totally flirt if you want.”

Malleus, sweet as he is, looks completely serious when he asks, “What would I say? I do not wish to offend.”

You pause, trying very hard not to laugh. “Okay, how about this? Try complimenting someone. Like…” You glance around and point at a vendor selling flowers. “Tell them they have lovely flowers.”

Malleus nods, taking this very seriously, and walks over to the vendor. You, Lilia, Sebek, and Silver (who’s been napping the whole time) watch as Malleus, ever the gentleman, says to the vendor, “Your flowers… are as radiant as the moonlight.”

The vendor looks flustered, blushing furiously. “Oh! Thank you, My Lord!”

You can’t help but laugh. “See? You’re a natural.”

Malleus returns to your side, looking pleased with himself. “I believe that went well.”

“Yeah, now you just have to work on *accepting* compliments,” you say with a wink, and Malleus tilts his head slightly in confusion.

“Accepting?”

“Yeah,” you grin, “like, if I were to tell you you’re the sweetest giant fae-dragon puppy I’ve ever met, you’d say…?”

Malleus looks genuinely flustered, his cheeks tinting the faintest shade of pink. “I… would say… thank you?”

“Good enough,” you laugh, nudging him playfully. “We’ll work on it.”

Sebek is muttering to himself about ‘disrespect’ and ‘sacrilege,’ but Malleus looks… happy. Like, really happy. He’s still a little awkward, sure, but you can tell he’s having a good time. Probably more fun than he’s had in years.

Lilia, meanwhile, is back at your side, leaning in close with that smirk of his. “You’re quite the influence, you know.”

“Yeah, well,” you grin, “someone’s gotta drag him into the real world.”

“Perhaps you’ll drag me into something as well?” Lilia purrs, his voice low and teasing.

You blink at him. “Keep talking, and I might actually propose to you.”

“Oh, I’m counting on it,” Lilia says, eyes glinting with mischief. “Perhaps later tonight?”

“Is that an invitation?” you quip, raising an eyebrow.

Sebek practically has steam coming out of his ears. “Master Lilia!”

But Lilia just laughs, utterly unfazed. “Oh, Sebek. You really must learn to loosen up.”

Silver yawns loudly, cutting through Sebek’s rant like a chainsaw through butter. “Can we get food now?”

You snort. “That’s the best idea I’ve heard all day.”

Malleus, ever the polite host, nods eagerly. “Yes, let us dine together. A family outing is not complete without a meal.”

You pause, blinking. Family? Did he just call this a family outing?

Lilia catches your expression and chuckles. “Oh dear, it seems Malleus has grown quite fond of you.”

You shoot him a playful glare. “You make it sound like a bad thing.”

“Not at all,” Lilia says, smiling knowingly. “In fact, I believe it’s quite the opposite.”

Before you can respond, Malleus steps up, still radiating pure joy. “Would you do me the honor of joining me for dinner tonight? I would very much enjoy your company.”

Sebek looks like he’s about to self-destruct from sheer disbelief, but you? You can’t help but grin. “Sure, why not? But if I catch you stealing my dessert, it’s game over.”

Malleus chuckles, his awkwardness fading just a bit. “I shall do my best to restrain myself.”

Lilia leans over, voice low and teasing again. “Perhaps you’ll save dessert for me, hm?”

You snort. “Don’t push your luck, old man.”

“Ah, but I’m a fae. Luck is my specialty.”

You shake your head, grinning as you walk alongside Malleus, who’s positively glowing with happiness. Yeah, this is one weird, dysfunctional family, but maybe you like it that way.

It’s quiet tonight, the kind of quiet that settles deep in your bones, making you feel both peaceful and unbearably restless. You find yourself standing on a balcony, overlooking the courtyard bathed in moonlight. The cool breeze whispers through the trees, the scent of night-blooming flowers drifting lazily through the air.

Lilia stands beside you, leaning against the stone railing, his usual playful demeanor absent. In its place is a rare solemnity, something you’ve only seen glimpses of before. You glance at him, noting the way the moonlight catches in his hair, casting soft shadows across his face. It feels... strange, seeing him like this. So serious, so quiet.

After a long silence, he speaks, his voice soft but weighted with emotion. “I was terrified, you know. Of losing him.”

You don’t need to ask who he’s talking about. Malleus. The curse that had wrapped around him for so long, a dark cloud that threatened to take him away. You had been the unexpected catalyst for breaking it, and while you hadn’t fully understood the gravity of it at the time, you’re beginning to now.

Lilia continues, his gaze fixed on the stars above. “I’ve lived a long time. I’ve seen many things, lost many people... but the thought of losing him...” He trails off, his voice catching in a way that makes your heart ache. “It would have broken me.”

You swallow, unsure of what to say. What can you say to something like that? You’re just... you. You never asked to be involved in any of this, never imagined that you’d become such an important part of these people’s lives. But here you are.

“I didn’t do anything special,” you finally manage, your voice barely more than a whisper. “I was just... there.”

Lilia turns to look at you, and there’s something deep in his eyes—something raw and real that takes your breath away. “Sometimes just being there is enough,” he says quietly. “You saved him. And in doing so, you saved me too.”

You shift uncomfortably, not because of his words, but because of the way they tug at something deep inside of you. A part of you that you’ve been trying to keep buried for as long as you’ve been in this strange, unfamiliar world.

You’re silent for a long time, your gaze fixed on the moonlit sky. The memories of your old life swirl in your mind—your family, your best friend, all the people you’ve left behind. You haven’t spoken about it to anyone here, not in detail. It feels too dangerous, too vulnerable. But standing here, under the moonlight with Lilia, you feel like maybe... just maybe... you can share a piece of it.

“I miss them,” you admit softly, your voice barely above a whisper. “My family. My best friend. I miss... home.”

Lilia doesn’t say anything, but you can feel his presence beside you, warm and steady. He doesn’t press for details, doesn’t ask questions you’re not ready to answer. He just listens, and somehow, that’s enough.

You take a deep breath, the cool night air filling your lungs. “It’s hard,” you continue, your voice shaking slightly. “Being here. Being away from them. Sometimes it feels like... like I’m losing pieces of myself. Like I’m forgetting what it felt like to be... whole.”

Lilia’s hand gently rests on your shoulder, a comforting weight that grounds you. “You haven’t lost yourself,” he says quietly. “Not even a little.”

You close your eyes, letting his words wash over you. You don’t know if he’s right, but in this moment, you want to believe him. You want to believe that despite everything, despite the distance and the pain and the uncertainty, you’re still... you.

For a long time, the two of you stand in silence, the only sounds the soft rustling of the trees and the distant chirping of crickets. The moon hangs heavy in the sky, casting everything in a silvery glow. There’s a quiet understanding between you and Lilia, a shared pain that neither of you needs to fully explain.

Eventually, Lilia speaks again, his voice so soft it almost blends with the wind. “The world can be a cruel place,” he murmurs. “But it can also be kind. And in moments like this... it feels just a little more bearable, doesn’t it?”

You nod, your throat tight with unshed tears. “Yeah,” you whisper. “It does.”

The night stretches on, and though neither of you say anything more, there’s a comfort in the silence. A bond formed in the quiet acknowledgment of each other’s pain. And for the first time in a long while, you feel like you’re not quite so alone.

Maybe, just maybe, you’ll be okay.

You’re not entirely sure how you ended up here, but somehow, you’re on a date with Lilia. Yes, that Lilia—lord of chaos, culinary adventurer, and general source of havoc.

The setting is picturesque enough: a meadow at sunset, complete with wildflowers and a gentle breeze. At least, it would be picturesque if not for the feast Lilia has prepared, which has a worrying amount of color, movement, and mystery.

“Surprise is the key to a romantic evening,” Lilia declares as he gestures proudly over the assortment of dishes.

You take a moment to assess the display. There’s a vibrantly colored stew that seems to be emitting steam with a life of its own. A platter of vegetables is twitching as if they’re reconsidering their life choices. And there’s a pie—definitely a pie—with something that looks suspiciously like an eyeball poking out from under the crust.

Lilia smiles at you, eyes glinting. “Would you like to try the stew first, my dear? It’s my own special concoction.”

You stare at it, then at him. “How many people have survived eating this?”

Lilia leans in, eyes full of mischief. “Define survived.”

You grin. “Only one way to find out, right?” Before he can respond, you reach for the bowl and take a large spoonful of the stew. Lilia’s eyebrows rise, clearly impressed by your boldness.

It tastes... unusual. Like someone mixed spicy peppers, sweet berries, and some kind of very sharp herb. You take another bite, considering.

Lilia watches you, waiting for a reaction. “Well?” he asks, a hopeful glint in his eye.

You swallow, then nod thoughtfully. “It’s... actually good. Really good, in fact.”

Lilia blinks, his expression shifting from mischief to genuine surprise. “Really?”

You nod again, going in for a third bite, savoring the strange combination of flavors. “Yeah! I mean, it’s different, but in a good way. The spice, the sweetness... it kind of works.”

Lilia’s face lights up, his delight palpable. “You truly mean it? My culinary prowess is usually met with... trepidation.”

“Trepidation might be an understatement,” you say with a laugh. “But honestly? I think people don’t give you enough credit.”

From somewhere nearby, a strangled gasp echoes across the meadow.

“Master Lilia!” Sebek’s voice rings out, sounding more horrified than ever. You glance in the direction of the bushes where, sure enough, they’re rustling. Apparently, Sebek has taken it upon himself to supervise this date from afar.

Lilia chuckles, clearly enjoying Sebek's reaction as much as yours. “Oh, my dear Sebek. One day, you shall learn that adventure begins in the kitchen.”

You take a sip of the iridescent liquid before you—a drink that looks more like a potion than anything else. It’s sparkling, and it has the distinct taste of... glittery fruit juice? You’re not sure, but it’s oddly refreshing.

Lilia eyes you, his smile turning softer, more genuine. “I must say, you are full of surprises. Most would have fainted by now.”

“Hey, I can handle a little excitement,” you say, reaching for one of the twitching vegetables.

Lilia watches in awe as you pop it into your mouth and chew. “And?” he asks, almost breathless.

You blink. “Crunchy. Kind of earthy. I like it.”

Lilia’s smile widens, his eyes twinkling with delight. “Oh, how wonderful! My dear, you truly are one of a kind.”

Sebek’s dismayed groan echoes once again, and you laugh, glancing toward the bushes. “I think we’re breaking poor Sebek.”

“Well, that’s part of the fun, isn’t it?” Lilia replies, leaning closer to you. “And speaking of fun, I have something special for you.” He produces a bright blue flower, presenting it to you with a flourish.

You take it, giving it a cautious sniff. It smells like fresh-baked cookies, and you look at Lilia, raising an eyebrow. “A flower that smells like dessert? Now you’re really spoiling me.”

Lilia’s eyes soften, his voice lowering. “Only the best for someone who appreciates my unique touch.”

Before you can reply, there’s another voice—this one distinctly sleepy. “Father, what... what’s going on here?” Silver approaches, looking like he just woke up from a nap. He takes one look at the scene—the half-eaten dishes, the flower in your hand, and Lilia’s delighted expression—and sighs. “Are you actually eating this... willingly?”

You nod, grinning. “Turns out Lilia’s cooking isn’t so bad. It’s actually kind of great.”

Silver looks at you, then at Lilia, then back at you. He blinks, his brain clearly trying to process this information. “Father, are you using magic to manipulate their taste buds?”

Lilia puts a hand over his heart, looking offended. “Silver, how could you suggest such a thing? I assure you, our dear friend here is enjoying my cooking purely of their own volition.”

Silver sighs again, rubbing his temples. “I think I need another nap.”

Lilia laughs, turning his attention back to you, his eyes filled with affection. “You truly are something special, my dear. Few have ever dared, let alone enjoyed, my creations.”

You smile, giving his hand a squeeze. “Well, I guess I’m just full of surprises.”

Lilia leans in closer, his voice dropping to a whisper. “Would it be too much to say I find you... irresistible?”

You chuckle, narrowing your eyes playfully. “Don’t push your luck, old man.”

Lilia smirks, his gaze full of warmth. “Ah, but pushing my luck is what I do best. Perhaps next time, I’ll cook an even more adventurous meal for us.”

You pretend to consider it, tapping your chin. “Define adventurous.”

Lilia’s eyes glint mischievously. “How about roasted phoenix feathers?”

“Phoenix feathers?” you echo, shaking your head with a laugh. “You know what? I think I like you just the way you are—absurd cooking experiments and all.”

Lilia’s expression softens, his smile turning tender. “I’m glad to hear it.”

With that, the two of you rise, arm in arm, leaving behind the bizarre remains of the meal. Somewhere in the bushes, Sebek is probably fuming, and Silver has most likely already fallen asleep again.

But as you glance at Lilia, whose eyes are still filled with excitement and warmth, you think that maybe absurd is just what you need.

You love this little family, but you had to gain equal footing with Sebek before you got attached any further. So you did what you thought would work the best— Challenge him in something he enjoys.

You and Sebek had been circling the field for a while now, your horses galloping side by side as you both tried to outpace each other. The competitive tension was thick in the air, though not hostile—it was more of an unspoken game to see who would crack first.

“So, you’re telling me you’ve been riding horses for *years*?” Sebek shouts over the wind, his eyes sharp with determination.

“Yup,” you reply, grinning as your horse picks up speed. “Equestrian club, since I was a kid. Surprised?”

Sebek huffs, his posture straight and rigid as always, but you can tell he’s impressed. “It’s… commendable. For a human, you’ve got some skill.”

“Some skill?” you tease, glancing over at him with a mischievous smile. “Is that all I get? Come on, Sebek, I thought you were competitive.”

He narrows his eyes at you, spurring his horse faster to pull ahead. “I am competitive! You’ll find I do not lose so easily.”

You laugh, nudging your horse to keep up. There’s a thrill in it—pushing each other, but not in a mean way. Sebek’s passion for horse riding matches your own, and it’s fun to finally find common ground with him. Plus, you’re enjoying the challenge.

The field blurs by as you both race toward the far fence, neither of you backing down. As you approach the finish line (or rather, the arbitrary spot you both decided was the end), you both cross it at nearly the same time, pulling your horses to a halt, panting slightly.

Sebek is the first to speak, wiping a bead of sweat from his brow. “Hmph. You’re not bad.”

“Not bad? I’d say I’m pretty good,” you shoot back, grinning ear to ear.

Sebek scoffs, but there’s a lightness in his tone that wasn’t there before. “You’re still a human, but… I’ll admit, you ride with some honor.”

“Wow, high praise,” you tease, but you soften your smile. “Thanks, Sebek. You’re not half-bad yourself.”

For a split second, you think you catch the ghost of a smile on his face, but it quickly disappears as he straightens in his saddle. “Of course. Riding is in my blood.”

You roll your eyes playfully. “Oh, obviously. I bet you were born in the saddle.”

“Perhaps I was,” Sebek says, completely serious. You stifle a laugh, realizing he probably believes that.

But before you can retort, Lilia rides up, his usual mischievous grin firmly in place. “Ah, what’s this? A friendly competition between two of my favorite people?”

“Master Lilia,” Sebek says, immediately shifting into soldier mode. “We were just—”

“Competing, yes, I can see that.” Lilia’s grin widens as he glances between the two of you. “I must say, the sight of you both racing like that was… quite exhilarating.”

You smirk, not missing a beat. “What, did we impress you?”

Lilia leans closer, voice dropping into a playful tone. “Oh, darling, I’ve been impressed by you for quite some time now.”

Sebek looks like he’s about to faint from sheer mortification. “MASTER LILIA! HUMAN!”

You laugh, waving Lilia off. “Careful, Sebek, you’re gonna scare your horse.”

But surprisingly, Sebek doesn’t snap back. Instead, he looks at you, something softer in his expression. “I admit… you’ve shown me something today. Perhaps you’re not just a reckless human after all.”

You raise an eyebrow. “Wow, Sebek. If I didn’t know better, I’d think you’re starting to like me.”

Sebek grumbles, looking away. “Do not mistake my words. I merely acknowledge your competence. Nothing more.”

“Sure, sure,” you reply, still grinning. “But hey, anytime you wanna ride again, I’m game.”

Sebek glances back at you, his usual harshness softened just a bit. “Perhaps… I will take you up on that.”

Lilia chuckles, clearly pleased with the budding camaraderie. “Ah, it warms my heart to see you two bonding. Who knows? Maybe you’ll become the best of friends.”

You wink at Lilia. “Well, if Sebek keeps up, maybe I’ll make him my official riding partner.”

Sebek, for once, doesn’t argue. Instead, he gives a small, determined nod. “We shall see, human. We shall see.”

As you ride back toward the stables, you can’t help but smile. You’ve earned a bit of respect from Sebek, and who knows? Maybe you’ll turn this into a full-fledged rivalry—one with a bit more fun and a lot less shouting.

Lilia, of course, flirts all the way back, making sure to keep the mood light and teasing, much to Sebek’s increasing exasperation. But even he can't deny that today was fun

The day should've been as normal as you could have these days—your stomach had other plans. There’s this nagging craving in the back of your mind for ramen, but of course, you’re stuck in a medieval isekai world where even the concept of instant noodles would make heads explode.

You groan, pacing back and forth in your room. "Ramen, ramen, ramen..." You’re practically chanting it like a spell. Finally, you snap your fingers. "Alright! Let’s get some ramen going!"

With all the determination of a contestant in a cooking show, you head to the market, a list of makeshift ingredients mentally prepared. You have no clue how you’re going to explain seaweed or soy sauce to the vendors, but hey, you’ve gotten this far in life on sheer audacity.

Except, ten minutes later, you find yourself hopelessly lost. You had been walking with confidence, chest out, head high, until you somehow managed to wander into a part of town that definitely wasn’t on your mental map. Instead of bustling vendors and cheerful shoppers, you’re now looking at a spooky, abandoned-looking area, complete with dense fog and suspiciously creaky trees.

“This... This isn’t the market,” you mutter, pausing in front of a seriously ominous cottage. If there were ever a sign that said "DO NOT ENTER" in flashing neon, this would be it. And yet, for reasons unknown even to yourself, you approach.

Before you can bolt in the opposite direction, the door swings open with the most dramatic creak you’ve ever heard. A woman, dressed in black robes, stands in the doorway with a gaze that could curdle milk. Her aura practically screams witch, and not the cool kind either—the villainous, melodramatic kind.

“Well, well, well,” she sneers, stepping out with all the grace of a Broadway villain, “look who wandered into my lair.”

“Uh, yeah...” You trail off, scratching the back of your head. “So… this isn’t the market?”

The witch gives you a look so condescending it could melt iron. “No,” she hisses, “it most certainly is not. You’ve trespassed on my domain, little fool!”

“Right, so sorry about that,” you say, trying to backpedal. “I’m just trying to make some ramen, and I—wait, hold on, who are you exactly?”

Her eyes flash with annoyance. “You don’t know who I am?”

You blink at her. “Is this the part where you tell me, like in those cartoons? ‘Cause I’m getting major ‘I’m about to monologue’ vibes right now.”

The witch’s face twitches, clearly not used to people interrupting her villain speech. “I,” she says, pausing for dramatic effect, “am the witch who cursed Malleus Draconia!”

Oh, that witch. You’ve heard some stories about her, mostly from half-paying attention when your friend geeked out over the original plot. But now that you’re face-to-face with her... this is not how you pictured it. You tilt your head.

“So, wait,” you begin, trying to suppress a snicker, “you’re the one who came up with that whole 15-year curse plan? And your big finale was… what? Swooping in at the last second to save him and then expecting him to marry you?”

Her eyes narrow. “That was the plan.”

You stare at her for a moment, the absurdity sinking in. “...That’s ridiculous.”

“How dare you mock me?!” she shrieks, her voice reaching a pitch that probably scared some birds out of nearby trees. She raises her hand, dark magic swirling between her fingers, and you swear you can hear thunder crack in the distance.

“Okay, hang on,” you say, taking a cautious step back. “Let’s not get all zappy here. I’m just saying that’s a lot of effort for a plan that has, like, a one percent success rate.”

“Silence!” She’s fuming now, throwing her hand forward to launch the magic at you—and you brace yourself for the worst. You’ve seen this in movies before. This is the part where you get turned into a frog or something equally terrible.

Except… nothing happens.

The magic fizzles out midair like a dud firecracker, leaving a puff of smoke and an awkward silence in its wake. You blink. She blinks. You both stare at the spot where the magic should have been.

“Uh…” you begin, rubbing the back of your neck. “Was that supposed to do something?”

The witch looks at her hand, then at you, then back at her hand again like she’s having a serious identity crisis. “What...?”

“I mean, points for the drama, but I’m still standing here,” you say, waving your hand in front of your face as if checking for damage. “And I don’t think I’m a toad.”

She tries again, gathering more magic in her hands and launching it at you with renewed fury. But once again, nothing. The magic stops short, fizzling out like it’s hitting an invisible barrier around you. Now she’s just staring at you, dumbfounded.

You, on the other hand, are absolutely flabbergasted. “Okay, this is getting weird.”

That’s when Lilia appears—literally, out of nowhere. He casually steps out from behind a tree like this is all a normal Monday for him. “Ah, I thought I sensed some familiar mischief afoot,” he says, his voice cheerful, though his eyes glint with something far more dangerous as they lock onto the witch.

The witch recoils, visibly shaken. “Lilia Vanrouge,” she hisses, sounding more like a disgruntled cat than a fearsome sorceress.

“In the flesh,” he says with a light bow, his grin all sharp teeth and mischief. “What brings you out of your little hidey-hole?”

She glares at him but doesn’t say anything. She’s outmatched, and she knows it. With one last seething look at you, she vanishes into thin air with a dramatic whoosh of smoke, leaving you and Lilia alone in the now eerily quiet forest.

You turn to him, utterly confused. “What the heck was that about? Why didn’t her magic work on me?”

Lilia’s grin softens, his gaze turning fond. “Ah, I see I’ve forgotten to tell you. I placed a fae’s blessing on you some time ago.”

“Wait, what?” You gape at him. “When did you do that?!”

He chuckles, as if you asking when he bestowed a magical shield on you is the most amusing thing he’s heard all week. “You tend to attract trouble, my dear. I thought it best to give you a little extra protection.”

You blink at him, still processing. “So… you’ve been secretly protecting me this whole time?”

His gaze turns a bit more serious, the usual playful air dropping away. “I don’t want to see anything happen to you,” he says softly, the words carrying a weight you hadn’t expected.

For a moment, you’re left speechless, flustered even. The teasing and jokes you’re so used to from Lilia are gone, replaced by something… deeper. It throws you off your game.

“Well, uh…” You clear your throat, desperately trying to recover. “I appreciate not getting turned into a frog or whatever she was planning.”

His grin returns, and the moment passes. “You’re welcome. Now, shall we head back to the market? I believe you were on a quest for... ramen, was it?”

You let out a laugh, shaking your head as the absurdity of it all catches up with you. “Yeah, let’s do that. And maybe next time I’ll avoid wandering into spooky villain lairs.”

“An excellent plan,” he says, offering you his arm. “Shall we?”

And just like that, you’re back on track—albeit a bit more shaken than before, but at least you’ve got a magical blessing you didn’t know about and one very charming fae escorting you through the mess.

You’re sitting under a large tree in the courtyard, soaking up the rare bit of peace and quiet that’s fallen over your life. It’s a nice day, the kind that makes you feel all warm and content, the sun shining gently through the leaves. Beside you, Silver is leaning against the trunk, dozing off as usual. You’ve become used to his tendency to fall asleep mid-conversation, and honestly, it’s kind of adorable.

He stirs a little, blinking his sleepy eyes open and looking at you with a soft smile. “It’s nice to have moments like this,” he says, voice a bit groggy. “Especially after everything.”

“Yeah,” you reply, leaning back on your hands. “It’s been... a lot.”

Silver glances at you, his gaze thoughtful. “You really helped us. My family,” he says, his tone a bit more serious than usual. “Freeing Lord Malleus from that curse... it was no small feat.”

Your stomach twists a little at the mention of Malleus. It still feels surreal that you had a hand in such a monumental event. You shrug, trying to play it cool. “Eh, you know... just another day of accidentally stumbling into chaos.”

He chuckles lightly, his smile softening even more. “I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able to thank you properly for what you’ve done. You really saved us all.”

You wave your hand dismissively. “Stop, you’re going to make me blush. I was just trying to make some money, and suddenly I’m in the middle of an epic quest. You know how it is.”

Silver hums, half-amused, and then casually drops the bomb on you like it’s the most normal thing in the world: “You’d be perfect with Father.”

Your brain short-circuits. “...Sorry, what?”

Silver, utterly oblivious to the internal crisis he’s just unleashed within you, looks at you with that serene, peaceful expression of his. “Father. You’d be perfect with him.”

The world screeches to a halt. *Perfect? With Lilia?* You stare at him, wide-eyed, your mouth hanging open in a most undignified manner. “I’m sorry, did you just—did you just suggest that I—me—should be with your father?!”

Silver nods, looking completely at peace with his assessment, like he’s just commented on the weather. “Yes. You two get along well. You make each other laugh, and he seems fond of you. And Father... well, he deserves someone who can make him smile like that.”

Your mind is racing at 100 miles per hour. “Silver. SILVER.” You clutch your head as if physically holding your brain together will stop it from spiraling into madness. “Do you have any idea what you just said?”

Silver, ever the calm and composed knight, merely tilts his head. “Was it something strange?”

“STRANGE?!” You’re flailing now, completely losing your cool. “You just casually suggested I should date your father! Who, may I remind you, is an ancient fae with enough power to casually toss me into another dimension if he wanted!”

Silver blinks, seeming to consider this for a moment. “I don’t think he’d toss you into another dimension. He’d probably just... laugh and then take you out to dinner.”

You’re having a full-blown existential crisis. Your face is bright red, your heart is doing somersaults, and you’re not sure if you want to scream, faint, or throw yourself into the nearest fountain.

Silver, meanwhile, is just sitting there, serene and utterly oblivious to the emotional chaos he’s just unleashed upon you. “Father’s a good person,” He says softly. “I think you two would be happy together.”

“I... I...” You sputter, trying to form words but utterly failing as images of Lilia’s teasing smile and playful banter run through your mind. And then you imagine the alternative: Lilia’s serious side, the one that is somehow even more terrifyingly attractive, and you feel your heart skip a beat.

“Oh no,” you whisper, clutching your chest. “Oh no, no, no... Silver, what have you done?”

Silver looks at you with concern now, finally noticing that you’re having what can only be described as a breakdown. “Are you alright?"

“NO!” you cry, standing up and pacing back and forth in front of him. “You’ve broken me! You’ve ruined me! I’m—Silver, your father is... He’s... and I... Oh, gods, this is too much. TOO MUCH!”

Silver watches you pace for a moment before quietly saying, “You’re thinking about it, though.”

You freeze mid-step. “I—NO! Maybe? Yes? I—Why would you say that, Silver?!”

He just smiles, a soft, knowing smile. “Because it’s true.”

You slump back down beside him, groaning loudly as you cover your face with your hands. “You’re impossible, you know that?”

Silver chuckles softly, resting his head back against the tree again. “I’ve heard that before.”

And as you sit there, your mind spinning with thoughts of Lilia and all the ridiculous, impossible implications Silver’s comment has brought to life, you can’t help but think that maybe—just *maybe*—he has a point.

But you’re not ready to admit that yet. Not even to yourself.

“I need a drink,” you mumble under your breath, and Silver hums in agreement.

“Father would probably help you make it,” he says, and you let out a loud groan, flopping onto the grass in dramatic defeat.

“Silver, you’re killing me.”

He just smiles that peaceful smile of his.

It’s a quiet afternoon, the sun beginning to dip below the horizon, casting a golden glow over the courtyard. You’re standing with Malleus and Sebek in one of the palace’s gardens, the tranquil hum of life around you contrasting with the more serious conversation that’s about to unfold. You can feel the weight of what Malleus is about to say, and your mind spins as you prepare yourself for another emotionally charged moment.

Malleus takes a deep breath, his gaze fixed on the distant horizon. “For the longest time,” he begins, his voice soft and filled with an unspoken vulnerability, “I thought I would be stuck. Trapped in that cursed state forever. I had resigned myself to it, believing that it was my fate to be alone.”

You shift slightly, unsure how to respond to such raw honesty. Sebek, standing next to Malleus, is silent for once, his usual loud and defensive nature tempered by the gravity of his lord’s words.

“But then you came along,” Malleus continues, turning his glowing eyes toward you. “You broke the curse, something no one had been able to do. You gave me back my freedom, something I had lost hope of ever regaining.”

Sebek clears his throat loudly, his usual dramatic flair coming to the surface despite the tenderness of the moment. “Yes, well,” he says, voice gruff but tinged with the awkwardness of someone who isn’t quite used to expressing gratitude. “I... suppose we should be... grateful. After all, if it weren’t for you, Lord Malleus would still be... cursed, and we wouldn’t be here together as we are now.”

You blink at Sebek’s begrudging admission, feeling a small smile tug at your lips. The fact that he of all people is thanking you, even in such a roundabout way, is oddly touching.

“Wow, Sebek,” you say, voice teasing but soft. “Who knew you had it in you?”

Sebek bristles at your words, his expression a mix of indignation and embarrassment. “D-Don’t misunderstand!” he exclaims, face turning a shade redder than usual. “I’m merely stating the facts! Nothing more!”

Malleus chuckles softly at Sebek’s outburst, his usual gentle smile returning to his face. “Sebek’s gratitude, no matter how begrudging, is indeed a rarity,” he teases lightly before turning his attention back to you. “But truly, I am grateful. You’ve given me back more than just my freedom. You’ve given me back... this.”

He gestures around him, indicating the garden, the palace, the sky above. “This life, this chance to be with those I care about. And for that, I owe you a debt that I may never be able to repay.”

You shift awkwardly, feeling a strange warmth bloom in your chest. “I mean, I didn’t really set out to save anyone,” you admit, your voice light but with an edge of honesty. “I just... wanted the reward. And then maybe to go home.”

Sebek’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise, and he opens his mouth to argue, but Malleus holds up a hand, stopping him before he can launch into one of his dramatic tirades

You hesitate, glancing between Malleus and Sebek. “I didn’t think I’d get attached,” you admit quietly, your voice softening. “But I have. Somehow, I’ve found myself... caring about all of you. This weird little makeshift family.”

Sebek looks as though he’s about to protest the “weird” part, but a stern glance from Malleus keeps him quiet. You can see the begrudging acknowledgment in his eyes, though—he knows it’s true, even if he doesn’t want to admit it.

Malleus hums thoughtfully, his gaze lingering on you for a moment before he speaks again. “Well,” he says casually, as if discussing something as simple as the weather, “if you’re so attached, perhaps we should make it official. Perhaps you should marry into the family."

You freeze. Did he just—?

You whip your head towards Malleus, completely flustered. “M-Marry?! What?!”

Sebek, on the other hand, looks as if someone just punched him in the face. His mouth opens and closes like a fish gasping for air, his eyes wide with outrage. “L-Lord Malleus, what are you suggesting?!” he sputters.

Malleus blinks, as calm as ever. “I’m suggesting marriage,” he repeats, as if it’s the most logical thing in the world. “If they are so attached to us, it seems a reasonable next step. Perhaps they should marry Lilia?”

Your face turns a bright shade of red as your heart pounds in your chest. “Wh-What?!” you stammer. “Lilia?!”

Sebek turns even redder, his face contorting in disbelief. “Master Lilia?!”

Malleus nods sagely, completely unfazed by both of your reactions. “Yes, Lilia. He has shown great affection for them, and they would fit well within our family. Would you not agree, Sebek?”

Sebek looks like he’s about to explode, but there’s an uncomfortable silence as he realizes… he can’t argue. He knows Malleus and Lilia both care about you. He knows that you’ve proven yourself to be a good person, despite his initial distrust. His mouth twitches, the words clearly struggling to escape his throat.

“I—well—Lord Malleus,” Sebek starts, looking every bit as if he’s been defeated by sheer logic. “I… I must admit… They are a suitable companion for Master Lilia… even if the idea of them marrying… well, it is quite… outrageous.”

You feel your soul leave your body as the conversation continues. Sebek can’t quite bring himself to fully agree, yet he doesn’t outright refuse the idea either. His loyalty to his lords binds him, and his begrudging acceptance of your presence has left him caught between duty and outrage.

“I—This—” you stammer, completely overwhelmed. “I—This is insane!”

Malleus looks at you with a calm smile. “Think it over,” he says, voice gentle. “You’ve already become part of our lives. Why not make it official?”

You open your mouth to protest, but the words die in your throat as you see the sincerity in his eyes. This isn’t just a flippant suggestion—it’s Malleus genuinely offering you a place in his family. But the idea of marrying Lilia? That’s… that’s a whole new level of madness.

“I—I think I need to lie down,” you mutter, pressing your hands to your temples. “This is too much.”

Malleus chuckles softly, and even Sebek seems to relax—if only a little. But as you glance between the two of them, you can’t help but feel a strange warmth in your chest. Even with all the absurdity, you know one thing for sure: you’ve found a place with them, whether you intended to or not.

The cat was just sitting there. Innocently perched on the branch, fluffy and regal like a tiny, judgmental king. You don’t even know what possessed you, really. Maybe it was those huge, adorable eyes or the way its tail flicked back and forth. But somehow, someway, you ended up halfway up a tree. Climbing a tree. For a cat.

“I just wanted to pet you,” you mutter, feeling slightly ridiculous as you hug the branch for dear life. “And now I’m stuck. Great.”

The cat stares at you, completely indifferent to your plight. You sigh, glancing down at the ground, which now seems alarmingly far away. Heights were never your thing, but in the moment, with that cute little furball teasing you, logic flew right out the window. Now, you’re clinging to the tree like a cowardly kitten yourself.

“Why did I think this was a good idea?” you groan. The cat blinks at you. “Don’t look at me like that. This is all your fault!”

And then, because fate has a terrible sense of humor, you hear a voice from below. A familiar, unmistakable voice—playful, with a hint of amusement laced through it.

“Well, well, what do we have here? It appears my dear little beastie has gotten themselves stuck.”

You nearly slip off the branch as you glance down to see Lilia standing at the base of the tree, arms crossed and an infuriatingly amused grin on his face. He looks every bit the mischievous fae, eyes twinkling with barely suppressed laughter.

“I—uh—this is—” You stammer, trying to come up with some kind of excuse, but nothing comes. You’re halfway up a tree. Because of a cat. No explanation is going to save your dignity now.

Lilia tilts his head, chuckling. “Were you planning on living up there from now on? Or should I assist you in returning to the ground?”

“Hey, don’t judge me!” you huff, cheeks burning. “The cat—look at the cat! It was really cute, okay?”

Lilia glances up at the feline, which is now licking its paw in complete disinterest. He raises an eyebrow. “Ah, yes, the cat. I see now. How could anyone resist such a noble creature?”

You groan, feeling your face get even hotter. “I—um—I might need help getting down.”

Lilia’s grin widens. “Of course, my dear. I was planning on catching you anyway.”

You freeze. “C-Catching me?”

“Mmhm. Just jump down, and I’ll catch you,” Lilia says, his tone so casual, as if catching people out of trees is just something he does every day. He spreads his arms out, waiting expectantly.

Your heart races as you eye the distance between the branch and the ground again. It’s not terribly high, but… still high enough to make you nervous. But Lilia’s standing there with that easy confidence, and the thought of staying stuck in this tree forever doesn’t exactly appeal to you either.

Taking a deep breath, you inch closer to the edge of the branch. “O-Okay. I’m going to jump.”

“Go ahead,” Lilia says, his voice soft. “I’ll catch you.”

With one last look at the disinterested cat, you finally push yourself off the branch. For a split second, there’s nothing but the rush of air—and then you feel yourself land securely in Lilia’s arms. You’re caught. Easily, gently. Like it was nothing at all.

He looks down at you, his face much closer than you anticipated. “See? I told you I would catch you.”

You’re breathless for a moment, your heart doing flips as you realize just how close you are to him. His arms are around you, holding you steady, and you can feel the warmth of his body through his clothes. He’s staring at you with that soft, amused smile, and you’re suddenly acutely aware of just how handsome he is.

“Oh no,” you whisper to yourself, “I’m swooning.”

Lilia raises an eyebrow. “Hmm?”

“Y-You’re really smooth,” you blurt out before you can stop yourself. “Like, catching me so easily and looking at me like that. It’s—it’s really unfair.”

He chuckles softly, clearly entertained by your flustered state. “Unfair, you say?”

“Yeah, like—like, you’re so effortlessly cool and charming, and I—” You freeze, suddenly realizing what you’re saying. You clamp your mouth shut, but it’s too late. The words are out, and your brain has completely short-circuited.

And then, before you even know what’s happening, the words just spill out of you in a panicked rush. “Okay, I like you! No, wait—I think I’m in love with you! I mean, how could I not be? You’re so amazing, and I just—Oh god, I’m confessing! I’m confessing right now, aren’t I? This is a confession. Oh no, this is terrible. I didn’t mean to—”

You feel your entire body heat up as you bury your face in your hands, completely mortified. Of all the ways you could’ve confessed your feelings to Lilia, this had to be the worst possible way. You weren’t ready! You were supposed to be calm and collected, not blurting it out after getting caught in a tree!

For a moment, there’s silence. And then, you hear the softest chuckle from Lilia. His arms tighten around you slightly, pulling you just a little closer.

“You’re adorable,” he says, his voice soft and full of warmth.

You peek through your fingers, confused. “Huh?”

“I’ve known for a while that your feelings for me were more than friendly,” Lilia continues, his smile gentle. “But hearing you confess like this… it’s endearing.”

You blink, trying to process his words. “Wait—you’ve known?”

Lilia nods. “You’re not as subtle as you think, my dear.”

You groan again, hiding your face in your hands once more. “This is so embarrassing…”

Lilia laughs softly, and before you know it, he leans in and presses a light, gentle kiss to your forehead. Your heart skips a beat, and you lower your hands, looking up at him in surprise.

“There’s no need to be embarrassed,” Lilia says, his eyes soft. “I’m honored to be the one you’ve chosen.”

Your heart flutters as his words sink in, and you realize that, despite your mortification, he’s… accepting your feelings. He’s not teasing you or brushing it off—he’s genuinely acknowledging your confession. And more than that… he’s reciprocating.

“Lilia…” you whisper, your face still burning with embarrassment, but also with a warmth that you can’t quite describe.

He leans in a little closer, his nose brushing against yours. “You don’t need to say anything more, my dear. Just know that I feel the same.”

And with that, Lilia closes the distance between you, his lips meeting yours in a soft, sweet kiss that makes your heart race even faster. All thoughts of your earlier panic melt away, replaced by the warmth of his touch and the feeling of being completely safe in his arms.

As he pulls back, you’re left staring at him, wide-eyed and breathless. Lilia smiles down at you, his eyes twinkling with amusement and affection.

“So,” he says, his voice teasing, “was that worth climbing a tree for?”

You blink, still dazed from the kiss. “I… I think so.”

Lilia laughs softly, pressing another quick kiss to your lips before setting you down on the ground. “Next time, though, perhaps we’ll find a more dignified setting for your confessions, hmm?”

You groan, covering your face again as you mutter, “Please don’t remind me…”

But despite your embarrassment, you can’t help the small, giddy smile that creeps onto your face as you realize that, somehow, things turned out perfectly anyway.

You sit with Lilia on a bench beneath the shade of a massive oak tree, the same one he caught you from, nerves simmering beneath your calm exterior. He’s as composed as ever, leaning back against the tree with a small, amused smile playing on his lips.

Across from you sit Malleus, Silver, and Sebek, all three watching you with varying degrees of curiosity—Malleus with calm interest, Silver with that sleepy, gentle acceptance, and Sebek with what you’re sure is the beginning of a tirade bubbling just beneath the surface.

“We have some news,” Lilia says, breaking the silence with his usual playful tone. His hand slips into yours, squeezing lightly. “About us.”

Malleus’s eyes light up with interest, his draconic gaze honing in on the subtle intertwining of your hands with Lilia’s. “News?” he repeats, leaning forward slightly. “What sort of news?”

You exchange a glance with Lilia, and he gives you a nod, as if to say go on, it’s safe. Taking a deep breath, you steel yourself and blurt out, “We’re together. Like, romantically.”

There’s a beat of silence.

Then Malleus’s eyes widen, his entire face brightening with delight. “Truly?” he asks, a rare, genuine smile spreading across his face. “That is wonderful news! You will be joining the family then?”

You blink, momentarily thrown off by how happy he is. “Uh, well—eventually, I guess. We haven’t exactly planned a wedding yet…”

“But when we do,” Lilia interjects smoothly, eyes glinting with amusement, “you will be the first to receive an invitation, Malleus.”

Malleus beams, the delight practically radiating off him like sunlight. “I would expect no less. To witness your union—ah, it will be a grand day.”

Meanwhile, Silver gives you both a small, approving nod. His expression is calm, though there’s a softness in his eyes that shows he’s happy for you. “I’m glad,” he says, his voice as gentle as ever. “Father deserves someone who makes him happy. And you… you seem to do that.”

Your heart warms at the approval from Silver. “Thanks, Silver,” you say, offering him a smile in return.

And then there’s Sebek.

For a moment, he just stares at you and Lilia, his mouth working as if he’s trying to form words. You brace yourself for the inevitable protest, expecting him to shout something about how inappropriate it is, or how you could never be good enough for Lilia, or—

“You…” Sebek finally speaks, though his tone is less outraged than you anticipated. He scowls, but there’s an undeniable hint of reluctant acceptance in his eyes. “You’re together, then?”

Lilia nods, his smile never wavering. “Indeed, Sebek.”

Sebek inhales deeply, closing his eyes as if preparing for some kind of inner battle. You can almost hear him wrestling with his instincts, wanting to object but also unable to deny the truth of the situation. After a long pause, he finally exhales and mutters, “Well… I suppose… if it makes Master Lilia happy, then…”

You’re about to breathe a sigh of relief when Sebek opens his eyes again, pointing an accusatory finger at you. “But that does not mean you should grow complacent! Just because Master Lilia has chosen you does not mean you are exempt from proving yourself worthy!”

Lilia laughs softly at Sebek’s stubbornness, and you can’t help but grin. “Of course, Sebek,” you say, teasing him lightly. “I’ll do my best to live up to your high standards.”

Sebek huffs, crossing his arms. “See that you do.”

Despite his bluster, you can tell he’s not truly upset. There’s a begrudging acceptance in his stance, the same way someone might finally accept that their favorite hero isn’t perfect, but still worthy of respect. Sebek might not be able to fully wrap his head around the idea of you and Lilia being together, but deep down, you can tell he doesn’t disapprove. Not really.

Malleus, meanwhile, is still beaming. “I look forward to your wedding,” he says, sounding genuinely excited. “It will be a grand celebration. And I will be the first to celebrate your union.”

You laugh, finally feeling the tension melt away. “You’ll be the first to get an invitation, don’t worry.”

Lilia squeezes your hand again, his eyes warm as he looks at you. “Indeed,” he says softly, “and I think it will be a lovely celebration.”

As you sit there, surrounded by Lilia’s peculiar little family, you can’t help but feel a swell of emotion. For all their eccentricities—Malleus’s dragon-like mannerisms, Silver’s sleepy but sincere approval, and Sebek’s stubborn loyalty—you’ve somehow found yourself among people who care. Who, in their own ways, are happy to see you and Lilia together.

And as you glance at Lilia, who’s still watching you with that fond, amused expression, you realize something important: this makeshift family of fae and knights… they’ve accepted you.

Flaws and all.

The living room felt a little too tense for your taste today. You were sprawled out on a chair, arms crossed, listening to the absurd conversation that seemed to have spiraled out of control.

Malleus, sitting at the head of the table, had the "serious prince" expression that made you roll your eyes every time you saw it. Lilia was perched on the back of his chair, his legs dangling, thoroughly amused by the current predicament. Sebek stood in his usual soldier-like stance, ready to protect everyone from... squirrels, apparently. And Silver was doing his best to stay upright while leaning on a wall. He was losing that battle.

“It’s time to discuss the prophecy” Malleus said, his voice carrying an ominous weight you found ridiculous. “The Squirrel Plague will bring misfortune. Entire kingdoms will fall to their tiny paws.”

You blinked. “We’re seriously talking about squirrels?”

Lilia nodded with an overly grave face. “Indeed, my dear. Squirrels are resourceful creatures. Vicious even, if the stories are true.”

Sebek puffed up his chest, eyes blazing with his trademark fervor. “MY LORD, IF THOSE RODENTS BELIEVE THEY CAN THREATEN YOU—"

You leaned forward, waving your hand dismissively. “Alright, alright, let's not hype up the squirrels too much, okay? This whole situation is ridiculous.”

Silver, who had just about managed to pry his eyes open, muttered, “It’s not just the squirrels. I heard some people talking about... uh, the Saint being accused of spying or something.”

The room fell into silence for a second, everyone digesting that little bombshell.

Lilia’s grin widened as if the idea of spies delighted him. “Spies, you say? This is getting quite intriguing.”

You groaned, pinching the bridge of your nose. “Yeah, no thanks. Squirrels are bad enough, but spies? I’m not dealing with this.”

Malleus turned towards you, a slight frown on his lips. “I assumed you wished to stay here. You haven’t mentioned wanting to leave before.”

You sighed, shrugging. “I mean, I don't have any attachments to this place. I stayed because you guys were here. But right now, let's bounce. Immediately. The squirrels can have this place.”

Silver, rubbing his eyes, nodded. “They're right. It’s a lot of hassle, and honestly, the squirrels are starting to weird me out. I saw one trying to chew through the wall this morning.”

Sebek turned to Silver with his mouth agape. “A SQUIRREL DARED TO ATTACK OUR DOMAIN?!”

Lilia chuckled, nodding. “They’re getting bolder, indeed. I even had one throw an acorn at me this morning. It was a declaration of war, I tell you.”

You waved your hands at them. “Guys, seriously. I don’t care if we’re at war with the squirrels. I just don’t want to be here. Briar Valley sounds much nicer, doesn’t it? No plagues, no spy accusations, no rabid rodents.”

Malleus blinked at you, then slowly smiled. “If you wish to leave, then there’s no reason for us to stay. I thought perhaps you'd not want to leave the place you grew up in, that you would be attached.”

“Attached?” You gestured dramatically at the window, where you swore you could see a squirrel watching with beady little eyes. “Nope. I’m only attached to you four, and I’m not risking my life for some acorn-flinging rodents.”

Silver yawned, already giving in. “I say we go. Less hassle, more sleep.”

Lilia gave a theatrical sigh leaning on Malleus. “Well, I suppose the adventure ends here. Back to Briar Valley it is! And I’ll be sure to bring along some acorns... perhaps we can keep the spirit of battle alive.”

Sebek, his voice still full of misplaced enthusiasm, nodded fiercely. “IF MY LORD DECIDES TO RETURN, THEN I SHALL ENSURE OUR JOURNEY IS WITHOUT PERIL! THE SQUIRRELS SHALL NOT—”

You interrupted with a grin. “Yes, yes, Sebek. You’ll protect us from the squirrels. Good job.”

Lilia hopped off Malleus’s chair, already halfway to the door. “I’ll go prepare the portal. Who knows, maybe we can get there in time for the fireflies.”

You got up too, stretching and giving one last look at the living room. “I think I’ve had enough of prophecies, plagues, and espionage.”

Lilia grins "Maybe we could have our wedding in Briar Valley". Malleus, now entirely on board, nodded with regal finality. “Then we shall return to Briar Valley. I trust the squirrels will not miss us.”

Lilia snickered, and you felt him squeeze your shoulder. “Perhaps we should bring a souvenir,” he mused. “A squirrel, perhaps, as a reminder of this peculiar little chapter of our lives.”

You shook your head, laughing. “I think I’d rather forget it altogether.”

With that, you and your four favorite Briar Valley residents left—leaving behind the squirrels, the spies, and every bit of drama that had nothing to do with you. Peace, it turned out, was just a portal away.

With that, the group made their decision—no heroic stand against the prophecy, no attempts to sort out spy dramas. Just a swift, sensible retreat to where things were far less complicated. And honestly? That suited you just fine.

Alright! I liked writing this a lot, It's not as chaotic as my other isekai ones but I like how it turned out!

Also if the formatting is off, I'm so sorry but I fell spectacularly on my ass while ice-skating and can't sit long enough to edit on my laptop.

Also quick poll for the next trash novel one, I'll definitely finish all of them, this is just for which one should I post first. They're all almost done.

Series Masterlist ; My Masterlists

[bearforcecaptions]

The spell worked, sort of, but not how I wanted. I did have the body of my dreams – I was Garrett now, but I didn’t realize the catch was that I wouldn’t be able to control what I’m doing unless I’m totally alone. And Garrett, or, me, I guess – I’m nearly never alone! The frat house pretty much always has someone in it, and I’m super popular, too. I thought being Garrett would be fun and easy, but stuck like this, it’s torture!

I figured out the ritual from this old book I found at that occult shop downtown, thinking it would be a quick way out of my boring life and into something… well, something way more interesting. Garrett had it all, or so I thought. Girls loved him, he was in the best shape, and everyone wanted to be his friend. But nobody told me about this weird restriction, or maybe I just didn’t read that part carefully enough. I guess the idea was I’d “experience” Garrett’s life, but it’s like watching a movie, except I’m the star and I can only move on my own terms when no one else is around.

And god, my roommate, he’s actually so stupid. When I can’t control my actions, we bro out all the time, but he’s so vapid. I guess I’m not much better, but it’s actually infuriating. You’d think we could have a conversation that’s not about girls, parties, sports, or video games. But no, every time he starts talking, it’s like Garrett’s body just falls right into the rhythm of it, responding automatically. I tried fighting it at first, but it’s like this autopilot takes over, and I’m just... stuck.

I’ve been scouring the room whenever I get a chance to control things, like right now, looking for any sign or clue on how to undo this. There has to be something I missed. I rummaged through his messy closet, which is packed with clothes, gym stuff, and random junk, none of it useful. The guy keeps his stuff in total chaos, and I feel weirdly exposed, like I’m actually pawing through my own things.

Shit, no, is that the door jangling? I thought I would have a couple of hours to try and figure out how to fix this. Who the hell knows when I’ll get another chan-

Fuuck, bro. Why’s my roomie home early? Thought he went to his ‘rents for the weekend. I was just about to jerk one out too. Ah well, maybe he’ll be down for some Call of Duty or something. I could use a beer.

“Yo, dude, what’s up? You back already?” I say, grinning like an idiot as I lean against the door frame, flexing a bit without even realizing it. Dude probably thinks I’m just chillin’, but nah, I’m feelin' like a boss.

He laughs, dropping his bag by the door and shrugging. “Yeah, man, got bored at home. Figured I’d head back early. Parents were driving me nuts.”

“Oh, for sure, dude,” I nod, grabbing a can of beer from the mini-fridge by my bed. “Parents, am I right? They just don’t get it, bro.” I crack it open, chugging half of it in one go, feeling the cool rush. Damn, that’s good.

He slaps my shoulder, laughing. “Dude, I swear, it’s like every time I go back, it’s the same speech about responsibility and blah blah blah. Like, whatever, right?”

“Oh, totally, man,” I laugh, shrugging it off. “Why they gotta be like that, y’know? We’re just out here living, they don’t get it.” I toss him a beer, feeling that chill vibe kickin’ in, like nothing in the world matters but just hanging with my bro. This is what it’s all about – no worries, no drama, just cold beers and good times.

“Bro, I’m feelin’ a COD sesh,” I say, grabbing the controller off the couch. “You down?”

He grins. “Hell yeah, let’s wreck some noobs.”

We crash down on the couch, controllers in hand, beers in easy reach, and it’s like all the worries in the world just melt away. I’m trash-talkin’, throwin’ down taunts, and we’re both laughing so hard my sides hurt. I don’t even remember the last time I felt this alive.

“You’re so bad, dude,” I laugh, jabbing him in the ribs as I get another kill. “How are you still this bad?”

“Shut up, bro!” he shoves me back, laughing too, and I’m grinning like an idiot.

Fuck, life is good, I think, as I take a gulp of my beer. I got my bros, I got my beer, and I got my games. What more does a dude need? Life’s good.

[valleydolli]

Only You | Chapter Six

CW 𝜗𝜚 MDNI, Stalking, Obsessiveness, Controlling Behaviour, Love Bombing, Murder, Fluff, Kidnapping, Smut, Toxic Sukuna, Yandere Sukuna? Readers a sweetie, (Touch her you die… like actually…)

𝜗𝜚 Series Masterlist

𝜗𝜚 Chapter Five | Chapter Seven

𝜗𝜚 WC: 2.6k

“I need to tell you something before we get in there.”

You’ve cleaned yourself up, covering the mascara streaks running down your cheeks. It’s as if nothing happened 30 minutes ago. The ride wasn’t awkward, it was calm enough for you to shut your eyes while he caressed you gently. He’s right about you moving in with him. Trouble follows you. Ren, that creep at the club, and now Satoru is acting up. Come to think of it, you didn’t see Ren for the whole summer. Last year, you would see him everywhere, but you haven’t seen him since… you went to Kaspas with Sukuna and Yuji. 

Strange. 

He must have moved away. 

“What is it?”

He puts his car in park, tapping his finger on your thigh, thinking of how he wants to word what he’s about to tell you.

Your heart begins to beat faster. “Did I do something wrong again?”

“What? No, no, you haven’t done anything. My— For fuck sake.” He runs his hands across his face. “My parents are in there. They’re really good friends with Himiko's parents. Yours too apparently…” 

You do nothing but blink. What do you even say to that?

“Is that why you’re so indifferent to Himi?” 

“No– well, she acts just like her mother. I never met her personally until I met you, but I’ve been around her parents a few times. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.”

“Are your parents Wasuke and Yuuka? I’ve only met them briefly. I never knew they had kids, let alone a grandkid.”

Weird.

You never sat down and spoke with your parents' friends apart from the Suzumis. But that's only because they had a daughter the same age as you.

When your parents started hanging around Wasuke and Yuuka, you were barely around. Out with friends, partying, studying. It makes sense that you never found out more about them. You didn’t even know their last name. They were just Wasuke and Yuuka. A quick “Hi, how are you doing?” And you're off running right after.

“Well, I think it’s a good thing we only just met. I mean, I think I was 16 when my parents and yours became friends. So you would have been…”

“24.”

“Ooo, yeah, it's definitely a good thing. My dad would have killed you.”

Yeah right.

“Well, since I’ve already sort of met them, it’ll be easy! Though you haven’t met mine, I’m sure they’ve heard a lot about you. This is good for us.”

Yeah, it is good. 

He’d hate it if it were a dynamic where the parents hated the girlfriend. 

Blah blah blah

But his parents have already said you’re a sweet girl, and only from brief moments. 

You just exude an energy that makes everyone love you. 

He grabs you, pulling you in for a kiss, then making his way to your side, opening the door for you. 

“M’lady.”

A shy giggle leaves your lips.“Good sir.” You place your hand in his, letting him pull you out of the passenger seat. Your lips meet his once again, but gently, since you don’t want to ruin your makeup again. 

“Let’s go.”

Sukuna holds you like he owns you. Many, many men here will want you. He knows it. You’re the best looking girl here. You walk in with Sukuna’s hand placed on your lower back, leading you inside the mansion. Your ears are blessed with a beautiful orchestra playing sweet melodies from another room, echoing the entire mansion. The decor, expensive, of course. And most importantly the snobby old money assholes with their snobby, somehow worse descendants.

“Can I get a drink before we find your parents?” You question.

His brows furrow slightly.

“I don’t want you to drink.” He tells you. 

You pout, sighing dramatically, “Oh… yeah, you’re right, that’s probably a bad idea.”

“I just want you to be safe, you get too… perky. I don’t want you attracting unwanted attention. And do you wanna be drunk around my parents? That’s not a good look. They like you already. Do you want to ruin how they view you?”

“No, of course not, never. I won’t drink anything.”

“Good girl.” He says, leaning down, kissing your bare shoulder. 

Walking through the sea of rich businessmen and women, he notices. He notices all of them staring at you like you’re a piece of meat. The way their eyes fall to your chest. Their tongues peeking out, licking their lips.

Disgusting.

And you don’t notice.

That’s a common trend for you.

You don’t see the things he sees. You don’t see these predators around you. Just like how you didn’t notice Jogo. You noticed Ren, but you let it happen for way too long.

Do you like this? 

Do you want their attention?

His eyes also fall to your chest. 

Maybe he should have given you a more modest dress, but you seem to like it.

It fits you… well…

He spots his parents sitting with God knows who, conversing about God knows what. 

Yuuka spots her gigantic son instantly, calling the two of you over.

“Sukuna, over here!” His mother calls out. She stands readying herself to greet the two of you, tapping her husband's shoulder vigorously to get up also. So, Jin has his mother's upbeat personality, and Sukuna has his father's. Wow, he even has the same blunt stare as him.

Yuuka pulls you into a warm, tight hug, kissing both sides of your face. “Who would have thought the first time we would properly speak with you would be with you as my son's girlfriend. How crazy is that?” She smiles. “You’re so beautiful.”

You shyly look away, thanking her.

“I got her outfit for tonight. Did I do well?”

“Fantastic, darling. Can I steal her for a moment?” She asks him.

He’s hesitant, but he trusts his mother with you. The two of you have the same personality, you’ll definitely get on well alone. 

“Don’t be gone too long,” he quietly tells you, kissing your lips. It more so sounded like a warning. He said he wanted you by his side the whole night, but if there’s anyone he can’t say no to, it’s his mother.

“I’m just taking her to get a few drinks.” 

Sukuna looks at you, waiting for you to tell her what he specifically asked you not to do tonight.

“Oh, uh, I’m not drinking tonight. I’m sorry.”

“Oh, nonsense, you got to loosen up a bit—.”

“Mom. Don’t pressure her.”

“Right, right, my apologies. Come, we’ll get you a juice or something.”

Yuuka takes you to a secluded balcony away from the party. You feel comfortable with her. 

Safe.

She’s a very kind woman. You’re glad Sukuna has such a lovely parent.

“Tell me how you met. I know you’ve known Jin for a little while, your parents told us about the school work at; it’s Yuji’s school!”

“Yeah, I teach at Yuji’s school right now. I love him and Jin, they're the sweetest. But Sukuna and I met at a park, it’s weird, he lives just five minutes away from me and we never crossed paths. All of this is just crazy. But I think we met at a good point in mine and his life.”

Yuuka softly hums, taking a sip of her drink. She looks at you, narrowing her eyes. “Does he act… okay?”

You copy her expression, confused as to what she’s asking you. “What do you mean?” 

“Oh, don’t mind me… It’s just— You know, he’s a lot like his dad. Quite hard headed, controlling. They like to lead. My Wasuke has grown with age, but I don't know if my son will.”

“He’s a good man, Yuuka, I promise. He practically saved my life earlier on in our relationship. He doesn’t act that way often.” You get where she’s coming from completely, but he’s too good to you. There’s no way he would act that way towards you— well, apart from earlier on, but that was completely your fault. You shouldn’t have provoked him. You let a man you used to have relations with into your home. You let him touch you, get close to you. That argument was on you. 

“Okay, I just want you to be safe. I see myself in you. I'm sad we’ve never spoken properly until now.” 

“I’m sorry, we can change that now, I hope?”

“Of course we can. I’d love for you to join us for dinner, with or without my brute of a son.” 

You both laugh with one another before heading back in to find both of your partners. 

“It’s been an hour,” Wasuke and Sukuna say in unison. 

Yuuka whispers in your ear, “I told you so.” Causing you to giggle. 

“You took too long. What did you talk about?” Sukuna hushly asks. 

“Just how you and I met. She also asked me to come over for dinner sometime. Maybe we can go next week before I start work again.” 

“I’ll think about it—.” 

Suddenly, a voice that Sukuna was hoping to avoid rings through his ears. 

Himiko. 

“Ahh! You made it!” She squeals before looking at her mortal enemy… Sukuna.

“Why are you with the Itadoris?” She questions, as she raises a brow.

“They’re Sukuna’s parents.”

Her eyes widened.

“…No way. Wow, you know I can see it now, looking at you. You look just like Wasuke.”

Sukuna sends her a condescending smile. She, of course, sends one back. 

“Why don’t you give him a tour, Himiko? It’s his first time here. ” Wasuke suggests. 

“Yeah, that’s a good idea, hon. Y/N, you stay with us!”

Sukuna’s head snaps to his mother, as she quickly pulls you and her husband away from him and… Himiko…

Great. 

—

It’s awkward to say the least. 

Being alone with Himiko. 

She’s shown him around just like his mother told her to. 

She’ll explain whatever room they’ve entered, and he'll grunt in response to her.  

And he hates the way his mother snatched you away from him. 

You’re not everybody’s to have. 

Only his. 

But he can appreciate the fact that she actually likes you, which could have been a worse outcome. 

“Sukuna.” 

He grunts once again, instead of speaking to her.

She stops walking, turning to him, getting up close and personal with him. He cringes at her, taking a step back, but she takes another step forward.

“I don’t like you.”

Sukuna's eyes roll righttt to the back of his head. 

“In fact, maybe I could say I hate you. I don’t think you’re a good guy, let alone a good guy for my best friend.”

He scoffs.

“The same best friend you left alone for her to almost get assaulted. I’m sure she thinks highly of you, Himi.” He mocks. 

Her smug expression fades instantly. “That was a mistake. And I won’t ever again. I care about her more than I care about myself. I love her.”

“Oh, trust me, I know you love her. But you don’t love her as a friend., do you? You want more than that from her.”

She says nothing. 

Not a peep. 

She doesn’t need to. He’s known for a long while that she loves you more than a “friend.” 

He’s seen a lot on those cameras at your place. The way she touches you. The way she looks at you. The things she buys you. The food she makes for you. She acts as if you’re a married couple.

Which you never will be, because you belong to him. 

Just him.

“You want me to tell her?”

“NO—no, don’t— do not say anything to her, that’ll ruin everything… What do you want?”

What he wants is for her to leave you the fuck alone. She takes up too much of your time. Always asking you to go places. To come over to hers or your place. It feels like she sees you more than him. It makes him feel… jealous. You should spend that much time with him. 

He’s your lover. 

Not her. 

Him!

“Me? What do I want? I just want my angel to be safe. Is she really that safe with someone like… you?”

“Yes! She has been my friend way longer than she’s known you, so don't think—.”

She stops herself, she realises she sounds like a lunatic, and he sounds reasonable. If you were to hear this conversation, you would side with him without a doubt. 

“Sorry.”

“Listen, I don’t want to have a bad relationship with my girlfriend’s friends.” Bullshit. “I want to marry her at some point in my life— Hell, she’s moving into my place soon. Himiko, this is a serious relationship.”

Oh.

Words can’t even leave her agar mouth. She’s shocked. Moving in? So suddenly. So soon. She would always ask you to move in with her, but you never budged. But you’re quick to do it with him? 

“Yeah, I‘m sorry, you’re absolutely right. Maybe we should head back.”

“I’m glad we had this talk. I hope we can come to some sort of understanding when it comes to her.”

“Yeah, me too.” She murmurs back. 

—

“Oh god, you didn’t kill each other, I'm glad!” You say jumping onto Sukuna’s wrapping your arms around him. You spotted the two approaching from afar, standing metres away from one another. 

“He told me you’re moving in together.” Himiko blurts out. 

You freeze, looking back and forth between the two. Trying to find your words.

Sukuna stares back at you intensely, telling you to say “Yes, Himiko.” 

And you do just that. “He thinks it’ll be good for us, and he’s right. I’ll feel much safer if he’s around more often.” 

“But you live in one of the safest condos in the city. And your area is safe too.”

“I know, but Sukuna lives five minutes from me, so it’s not like I’m moving to a new city or something, I’ll still be close by. I want this Himi.” You kissed Himiko's cheek, hoping to comfort your friend. 

She’s sad. 

Not annoyed or mad. 

She’s sad. 

He isn’t the good guy he makes himself out to be. He might be even worse than the other guys you’ve tried to date, but she really has a bad feeling about him, and she’s wasted her time complaining about all the other guys. She would have preferred if you dated them instead of Sukuna. 

“Well then, I guess all our sleepovers will have to be at mine from now on, unless you don’t mind me coming over, Sukuna?”

“Uh— sure.“

Obviously, he doesn’t want her in his home, but he can’t say no in front of you. 

The night has been long, but somewhat bearable. As soon as it was an acceptable time to depart, he practically threw you over his shoulder, running out the door. There’s a reason he’s never attended these gatherings. He’s the least sociable person you’ll ever encounter.

Before he met you, the only person he would call would be Toji. And even that was incredibly rare. This is the last time he comes to one of these; you included. You’re never coming here alone.

Anywhere, actually.

You’ll always be by his side.

Never too far away from him.

He can’t wait to have you living with him. You submitted to it so easily. What else will you submit to? He should test out this submissive trait of yours. See how far he can push it.

“We can start moving you in tomorrow, yeah? I’ll let your landlord know.” He stats

You open your mouth to say something. Maybe to object? But you stop yourself. Smiling and nodding your head.

“Okay, Sukuna.”

The corners of his lips dare to twitch into a smile. 

He’s got you now. 

Not like before, no. 

He has you in the palm of his hands.

Forever.

He’s never letting you go.

Ever.

Authors Note: hmm hmmm hm im judging myself when it comes to this chapter but it’s fine ig… i used y/n again *faints* “woahhh levi!” sorry sorry sorry. i’m gonna time skip, not too far only like a month or two. erm… i think i was gonna say something else but i completely forgot. I GOT MY OVERWATCH ACCOUNT BACK EHEHE. i muted chat though so i don’t argue with people…. oh wait i think i remember what i wanted to say yes im writing this as im thinking. i’m going to uni in october to im gonna try my absolute best to finish this before hand because i know fo a fact i wont be able to finish this while im at school as well :( okay im finished now bye bye i hope you enjoyed ♡

𝜗𝜚 Chapter Five | Chapter Seven

[ancientnapdragon]

I think that trying to expand on or explore Yue Qingyuan's or Shen Jiu's parents could be really fun. Espeeeecially SJ. Like why were these two poor kids thrown in the dirt?

Like yeah I know tragedy and storytelling and blah blah blah but lemme just squish them.

Anyway so I had another random idea, feel free to use as always, involving our special boy Shen Yuan. Basically he is a half demon (what flavor is up to you, but I was specifically imagining some type of bug 🐛). He is this very pretty little thing who lives in the demon realm with his Cultivator mom, except they're both like basically kept/imprisoned in this Demon Lord's compound.

His mom always told him about how she used to be in love with this other Cultivator and they had another son together. But shortly after he was born the Demon Lord like killed the dad, stole the mom, and threw the baby in a ditch. She's a real peerless beauty type. SY has always mourned for his older brother he never met and for how much his mom hates it here, even if she's done everything in her power to love him and teach him cultivation.

SY is also a super pretty boy and he's like? 11 or 12 or so? And his dad decides that since he's kinda useless otherwise he's gunna marry SY off. His mom helps him escape before that can happen and he swears to get enough power to free her someday.

Cue like a big chase but he makes it out of the Demon Realm and into the Human Realm. By complete coincidence he ends up running into like 9 y/o Binghe while his mom is super sick. Even the he can't do much he uses some of his demon powers and like heals her! But she's still really weak. And helps take care of SY for a bit before he encourages the two of them to go to CMS to be Cultivators. (She doesn't know that SY is a half demon, neither does LBH.)

They leave together and SY like admits that he wish he could save HIS mom and gives LBH a censored (of the demon stuff) version of his own mom's story. LBH promises to get super strong someday so he can help SY rescue her and SY is touched.

Anyway they do the hole digging and there is one set of eyes like LOCKED on SY the whole time. SQQ can see that FOOL making sopping eyes at the dirty little kid who looks like a younger version of himself. Before YQY can pick him, SQQ does and is so mad he like leaves the rest of the selection.

(LBH Still gets chosen! By YQY!)

Cue a lot of SQQ being a dick but over time like weirdly protective of the sassy, spitfire kid who is his little clone. SY is glad he saved LBH from a future of torment at SQQ's hands even if he brought it on himself instead. And SQQ over time is kinda... well, not nice. But he's not as bad as PIDW always talked about. Too bad he can't focus on that AS much when he's trying to keep his demon parts hidden!!

Eventually, like after SY has been there a few years, SQQ would find out the story about SY's missing older brother. And even tho he's probably been convinced it's just a passing resemblance, alarm bells start going off in his head. Some Airplane Flavored Bullshit would happen and would reveal the two of them are actually related by blood, too.

SQQ demanding to know what happened to their mother (since he knows his dad's fate :( ) and SY reluctantly telling him. OG Story just off the rails at this point. LBH is like 17 and has become YQY's head disciple and is living his best life with his depressed Shizun.

Not really sure where it would go from there tbh. But SY/SJ's mom would be rescued and I think she deserves to be in lesbians with LBH's mom. As a treat. Maybe they could do some shit with TLJ some the plot is so bad cause the demon lord was the one who half took his place after TLJ was sealed? Like, enemy of my enemy is my friend kinda shit to take out the demon lord properly. Ideal is we somehow bring back SYX and then the 4 parents form like a polycule. Big "Gee, TLJ! How come the author lets you have THREE hot wives??" Energy.

Anyway happy mother's day

[colorlessjay]

Epic the musical and Supernatural mesh together so well, it's ridiculous -

Personally I've always imagined it as Cas trying to escape the empty to get back home to Dean, and he has to face a bunch of trials along the way, like confronting Circe (Rowena), finding the blind prophet (Pamela or Kevin), so on and so forth, meanwhile Dean and Jack are back on earth holding out hope he'll come back-

There's more but I don't wanna dump all this on ya' lol, I just saw you mention it in a post and saw an opportunity to give my 2 cents :p

-Jukebox 📼

Jukebox, look at me

I have a vision. I need to communicate telepathically

Remember the Demon Dean arc? Mark of Cain? All that carnage?

You know the Itheca Saga?

Imagine this:

Dean's been having his summer love with Crowley, when he hears word about demons going after Sam. Instead of being apathetic and dismissive, Dean looks into it only to find out that someone within Crowley's circle has somehow found an entrance to the bunker. A way to slip in.

And I want this to be at least two years since Dean disappeared.

He hears about what's happened to Sam, and his instincts to kill kick in. Like how he went after the Frankenstein family after they killed Charlie? Yeah, that energy, but with Sam, because that makes just as much sense. And honestly, if the show wanted more carnage, they should've started here, BUT ANYWAYS

Blah blah plot, that's too many details for me. Cut to the bunker, the demons are out hunting Sam, destroying the bunker room by room in the process

Cue the song "Hold Them Down" as the demons mock Crowley's fondness for the Winchesters and talk about how they will be the ones to take them down.

And just as it hits the last lyrics, the demons are in the library, absolutely desecrating ancient knowledge, an angel blade fucking launches into the back of one Demon's head and kills it

Cue the song "Odysseus" as Dean stands at the archway of the library, gun in one hand. The line "I have had enough" is said before Dean shoots at the ceiling, and the whole bunker goes dark for a second, the lights of the lamps flickering before it all goes out

Carnage

A full massacre happens as Dean hunts down every demon, closing off the bunker so no one can get in or out. Meanwhile, Sam tries to deal with the ones who were still after him. Even with a broken arm, he's holding his own, but they outnumber him

And I need Sam to watch as Dean lets the demon in his take over and protect his brother

After the chaos, we cue in "I Can't Help but Wonder" as Sam and Dean reunite. Fuck you, power of love and brotherhood WINS. I need Sam to just tell Dean how he never stopped trying to find him again, that he's not making the same mistake like when Dean got sent to purgatory. How he always hoped Dean would come home again.

Dean saying he's proud of Sam, that Sam grew into his own hunter, that he's been doing good, and that he did miss him, he just didn't want to come home a monster. But he's back now, and they hug, and it's sweet

And Sam says he has to go tell Cas

And then we cue to "Would You Fall in Love with Me Again"

Cas gets the call that Dean is back, as Cas was already driving back to the bunker when he got the SOS

The bunker door opens

Dean says Cas' name

And Cas can't help but stare as he walks down the stairs hesitantly. Cause he sees Dean's demon form, but he can still see remnants of his soul in there too

"Is it you? Have my prayers been answered?"

Cas is looking Dean over, trying to see past the demon while Dean gets a look at Cas' true form for the first time

Dean says he's not the righteous man Cas knew. That he's not the same man. That his sins run so much deeper now than ever before, and he's beyond who Cas can even consider a friend

Cas asks what he's done, and Dean just tells Cas about every regret and pain he's had. How he feels irredemable before he doesn't feel bad about everything he's done. How a part of him left and did it for his family's safety. And he asks Cas if he'd still take Dean back

words words that someone smarter and more literate than me will figure out

Cas tells (confesses) to Dean that he'll love him over and over again, no matter what. That he's still the same person. He'll always be Dean, and that Cas has been waiting for him to come home

Cinematic rotating shot of their POVs with Cas' true form and Dean's demon form wrapping around each other as their physical bodies hug, forehead to forehead

Dean "How long has it been?"

Cas "Too long"

And then Sam is waiting in the kitchen, waiting for them to finish

fuck this was badly written. No one read this

[gorgeys]

hi! big fan of ur maeve works omgg.. wld u consider writing a piece where maeve takes homelander’s wife? i can so see him bringing in his wife, supe or not, to fancy events as a trophy wife. maybe maeve steals her away at some point & realizes she’s 1) a lot smarter & capable than homelander plays her off as and 2) just as eager to get her hands on maeve as maeve is to have her.

just think of the messiest trio shit you’ve ever witnessed. homelander probably knows, too. I don’t even think he’d be mad. two of the hottest women in the world are linking.. he’d prob ask to watch <\3 but erm yeah also don’t feel like u have to write major homelander bits like this is maeve content I just think it’s funny he’s like “damn…. can I join u lovely ladies 🥺” - 🐠

queen maeve x homelander's wife!reader

I LOVE THIS IDEA! THANK U SM FOR THIS REQ!!

this is also over 3k words so brace yourself

warnings: smut - oral, fingering, strap-on, homelander being a dick

the seven is dumbfounded that anyone's agreed to marry homelander, let alone stay married to him, especially maeve who knows first hand how difficult he is.  and they're absolutely astounded that he's landed a baddie like you, but there you are, his hot trophy wife, hanging off his arm at every vought function.

every person in america knows homelander and yours' love story (thanks to vought's relentless marketing team): homelander saved you from a bombing and as soon as he landed safely on the ground with you in his arms, it was love at first sight and the rest was history and blah blah blah.

the part maeve can't believe is that you--gorgeous, angelic you--would ever fall for that monster.

you were called a trophy wife for a reason; just looking at you would make most men cream their pants, maeve included.  when you spoke, she just stared at your lips.  when you walked away, her eyes shamelessly followed you.  when you looked at homelander with all that adoration behind your eyes, she wished she had the power to pop his head like neuman.  but of course, you were a distant, unattainable fantasy.

homelander had you on a tight leash, always keeping a hand on you at all times and jokingly threatening the life of any executive that even looked at you with a sign of lust.  of course, he wasn't joking.  he had killed men for simply touching your shoulder.

he also did the usual homelander things: talking over you, sometimes groping you in public, and constantly repeating the story of how the two of you met to anyone who would listen, especially stressing the part where you were a damsel in distress whose life he graciously saved.

because of homelander, maeve decided to admire you from afar.  that was until one fateful night.

she was smoking alone in the bathroom after escaping another routine vought event where she was forced to keep up appearances.  she had intentionally gone up to the 99th floor, knowing the bathroom would be empty since the event was taking place on a lower floor.  that's why she was surprised when she heard another set of heels on the tiles behind her.

"can i get a drag?" you ask as she turns to face you.  you're already smiling at her, but not that big, toothy smile you give to all the businessmen.  it's a natural one.

she extends her arm to offer you the cigarette, so you walk up to her and accept it.  she watches as you bring it to your red lips with ease that only a routine smoker could possess.

"i didn't know you smoked," she says, crossing her arms over her chest.  it seems oddly out of character for homelander's perfect housewife.

"i shouldn't.  and i didn't used to," you say, the smoke leaving your lips in a short puff.  "not before i met homelander.  i mean, i of all people should know how bad it is," you say, handing back the cigarette and turning toward the mirror to inspect your appearance.

"what's that supposed to mean?" she asks, her eyes never leaving your face.

"oh, i was a doctor.  you know, before all this," you say nonchalantly, fixing your hair. maeve's eyes widen in surprise.

"wait, really?"

"yup," you say, as if you expected her surprise.  it makes sense since most people assume homelander's wife is just a pretty face, not someone who once possessed one of the most difficult and esteemed careers.  "four years of undergrad, four years of med school, four years of residency, only to practice for one year.  what a fucking waste."

well that's why homelander never let you speak—he didn't want everyone to realize you were smarter than him.

"fuck," she says, still a little shocked as she diverts her gaze to look at you through the mirror. "what kind of doctor?"

"ER.  shit was crazy but i loved it.  and i was good at it.  i was always good with the people," you say with a sad smile.

looking back, it makes sense to maeve.  you knew how to talk to, but more importantly, listen to, any person that approached you and homelander.  you were extremely emotionally intelligent.  and obviously book smart as well, considering your profession.  you really were everything homelander wasn't.

 "because i really cared, y'know?  i really wanted to make a difference," you say with the shake of your head.  that thought seemed so trivial now.

"it's like looking in a mirror," maeve says, literally looking into the mirror at your reflection.  she had never realized how similar the two of you were.

"but then he saved me and suddenly it was all gone."

"they made you stop when you got married?"

"well, he made me stop," you say.  she can see the hurt in your eyes.  "because you can't be a doctor and homelander's wife.  no, that wouldn't be fair to him," you say, a hint of contempt evident in your usually sweet tone.

"asshole," maeve says, the hate far more obvious in her voice.  "i never understood why you were with him.  i don't think any of us did.  and now i'm just more confused."

"well, i could say the same about you," you say, suddenly turning your head to look right at her.  "why were you ever with him?"

"because i polled higher when we were together," she answers honestly, getting an endearing smile out of you.

"yeah, i assumed," you say.  "although he's still adamant that you were once hopelessly in love with him.  i don't wanna burst his bubble, but i always knew you were too good for him."

"we say the same thing about you," maeve says, the beginnings of a smile on her face.

"don't flatter me," you say, pulling your lip gloss out of your bag.  "i'll get a big head."

"can't be bigger than his," she quips, relishing in the way she makes you grin.

"true." she watches the applicator glide across your plump lips and then watches you shove it back in the tube.  "did i ever tell you you were my favorite?"

"what?"

"in the seven.  you were always my favorite.  i never paid too much attention to you guys but i was always watching when you were on the tv," you say.  "i don't know, maybe it was the armor or something.  or maybe the way you always stood like that with your hands on your hips.  i don't know.  you always did it for me though."

were you saying what she thought you were saying?

"wait," she pauses, turning her body toward you and resting her hip against the counter.  "so you had a crush on me?"

"mmm...something like that," you say with a shrug, though the troublesome smile on your face answers her question.

"wow." she crosses her arms over her chest and smirks at you.  "does homelander know about this?"

"does he need to know about this?" you ask, turning to face her.

"guess not."  there's a beat of silence.  "how long ago was this?  that you were pining over me," she asks as smugly as ever.

"so i don't think there was any pining involved, actually, but i remember the news would always play at the hospital and...well, yeah, there you were, always distracting me from my work."

"and now here you are," she says, gesturing to your figure while her eyes not so subtly checked you out. "distracting me from my work now."

"oh, am i?" you say, feigning innocence as you take a step closer to her.  she was left to wonder, was this your plan all along?

"yeah.  now i'm just thinking about you staring up at the screen," she says, entertaining you.  her fingers graze your chin. "drooling all over your scrubs.  fuck, you'd look so cute in scrubs."  you bite your lip, staring up at her with those devilish eyes.

"if only you were there that day instead of him.  things would be so different."

"do you wish things were different?" she asks, dropping her hand from your face.

"sometimes," you admit.  "little, naive me couldn't see him for what he truly was.  but i think i can see you now," you say, your finger poking the skin of her chest as you move impossibly closer.

"yeah?" she mumbles, her eyes obviously flickering between your eyes and your lips as she leans in toward you.

she can't believe she's really doing this.  she knows it's a stupid move.  homelander's literally downstairs.  but you're magnetic.

you abruptly grab her by the back of the neck with both hands and press her lips onto yours.  her lips move hungrily against yours, sucking and biting your bottom lip so hard that you're moaning into her mouth.  she attaches herself to you, her strong hands grabbing at the back of your dress and pulling your body into her cold armor.

in a second, she's lifting you up and onto the counter.  she knows it won't be long before homelander's looking for you, so she needs to make the most out of your fleeting time together.  you're well aware of this as you hike your dress up your thighs to save her a few seconds.

she kisses you so hard and feverishly that you're dazed and pulling her further into you by the back of her head.  you barely register her hands sliding your now slick panties down your legs.

she pulls away for a moment and stuffs your panties into the breastplate of her suit.  it's annoying how put together she looks, meanwhile you're out of breath with your legs spread embarrassingly wide for her.

she gives you a look, as if to verify that you still want this. your slight nod cues her to duck down and face your bare pussy.  instantly, she's eating you out like a woman starved.  she rapidly tongues your clit, only stopping every once in a while to suck on it harshly.  your quiet whimpers are music to her ears, only motivating her to throw your legs over her shoulders and bury her face deeper into your cunt. but then she starts to push a finger into your wet hole.

fuck, you're tight, she thinks. his dick really must be as small as she remembered.

your noises grow louder, prompting her to lift her face from your pussy and shush you like a child.  with homelander's super hearing, she can't take any chances, especially when his ears are specifically trained to listen for your honey-sweet voice. you accordingly lift your hand from where it was gripping the edge of the counter and firmly clasp it over your lips, muffling your sounds.  just to be safe, you bite down hard on your bottom lip as you lean your head back against the mirror.

maeve leaves a few kisses on your inner thigh as you get used to the intrusion of her long fingers before her lips enclose your clit once more.  soon your thighs are spasming around her head and you're crying into your hand as you cum with two of her fingers pumping inside of you and her tongue running circles on your clit.

she should stop your quickie there.  she should let you run back to the party and into homelander's arms.  but if this was the last time she was gonna fuck you, she was going to make the most of it.

"we got time for another, right?" she asks, though it isn't a question as she adds another finger to your throbbing hole and you release a choked up whine.

maeve really did think that would be the last of it.  this was a dangerous game after all, why would you run the risk of playing it twice?

but suddenly you're prancing around the tower more often, whether it's to hand deliver homelander his lunch or attend a fitting for your next red carpet appearance.  whatever the cause is, you always bump into maeve, and before you know it, she's guiding you by the waist into to her room to fuck you better than your husband ever could.

"he can't make you cum, can he?" she whispers into your ear, fucking you dumb in missionary.  all you can do is shake your head with your eyes squeezed shut, her panties stuffed in your mouth as a gag.  "yeah, that's why you keep running back to me, begging me to make you feel good.  he can't fuck you like i can."

it carries on like that for a while, you sneaking in and out of maeve's room a few times a week.  homelander's oblivious at first, mainly because he ignores your existence most days. but you make a deadly mistake when he rolls over one night, groping your tits in an effort to coerce you into fucking him, and you immediately push him off of you without thinking.  that really shocks him, so much so that he just lies there motionless, staring at the ceiling as you drift off.

you never deny him of sex.  even when you're not in the mood, you usually just let him use your body or at least rub one out for him.  so he really knows something's up when you push him away not just once, but multiple nights, claiming that you're "too tired."

"too tired?" he asks one night, outraged.  "you don't fucking do anything!  i'm out there saving lives so you can buy all your designer clothes and shoes and jewelry and you can't even fucking thank me by taking my dick down your throat?  i fucking made you!"  you simply roll your eyes and reach under the covers to grab his cock through his sweatpants. your annoyance makes you grip him hard, just how he likes it.

one odd time, after maeve's just finished fucking the life out of you, you open the door to leave her room, your hair still a little disheveled and your panties missing, only to see homelander leaning against the wall, waiting patiently for you.

"well, she really did a number on you, didn't she?" he asks with an amused smile.  you're stood in the doorway frozen and speechless.  he looks over your shoulder and makes eye contact with a tense maeve who's standing a few paces behind you.

deep down, you knew you'd get caught eventually.  that didn't mean you were prepared for it.  "john," you say in an overly soothing tone, reaching out for him as if you're about to start talking him down from one of his tantrums.  would this be his breaking point?

"that's why you won't let me touch you, huh?  getting fucked too good by queen maeve over here," he says, that terrifying smile never leaving his face.

"i mean, maeve," he says, slow clapping while making direct eye contact with her.  he knows she's pissed from the way her jaw locks and her teeth grind together.  "just wow.  i didn't know she could cum that many times in a row without passing out.  you know, you're going to have to teach me that little trick you do with your tongue," he says, pointing at her as if she's just said something witty.  "it just drives her crazy.  i mean, i could hear her all the way from the first floor. maybe we can...practice on her together next time?" he says as if you're not standing right in front of him.  he doesn't miss the way maeve's upper lip twitches in disgust.  "what?  i can't let my two favorite girls have fun without me," he says, suddenly looking back down at you and petting your cheek with his hand.

maeve wants to say something, anything to put him in his place, but she can't find the words.  you're his wife after all, not hers.  she doesn't lay any claim to you.  but, for some reason, she feels like she should.  especially when you belong to someone so disgusting and vile.

things get a little weird once homelander knows.  you can tell it irks maeve.  the thought of him touching you or even watching her touch you makes her skin crawl.  she tries to stay away from you for a little while, but it doesn't last long.  whenever she sees you around the tower, she can't help but remember how pretty you looked spread out on her bed, showing off your glistening pussy.

plus it's a bit of a power trip, knowing that she held this one little thing over homelander's head, that little thing being you.  so at some point, her desire for you trumps all else.

you're on your knees on the floor, your chin resting on the edge of the bed as you push your face further into maeve's cunt.  you can only moan into her, letting your tears mix with her juices as you're being overstimulated by the vibrator that's buried deep inside your pussy.  "god, you're useless," she says, grabbing the back of your head and grinding herself on your face.  she moans as your nose rubs against her clit and your cries cause vibrations to course through her.

"just want you to come all over my face," you whine, maeve looking down to see your lips and chin coated in her slick.  she cums almost immediately, deliciously arching into you with a deep groan.

the mixture of yours and maeve's noises makes homelander cum in his own room with his dick in his hand, so horny from watching and hearing the two of you go at for so long through the walls.

he only settles for watching because you and maeve refuse to let him in on the fun.  and he would try to force himself in between you two, but he knows maeve would hit him so hard she'd knock him into next week.  so he's content on just observing for now.

that is until he notices something.  once the two of you have finished, you're no longer leaving her room, with your heels in your hands, to return to his room.  instead, you're lying on your side, your hand dancing up and down maeve's bare arm, with your body tangled in her silky bed sheets.  you whisper to each other, noses practically touching, about nothing important in particular.

homelander watches you smile at something she's said and he recognizes it.  it's one reminiscent of the smile you had when he held you in his arms for the very first time, landing you safely on the ground so far from the hospital that you couldn't think about the smoke that swallowed the sky and the wreckage littered with bodies.  he remembers how in love with you he felt in that moment, the first moment he truly looked at you and knew he must have you.  your smile is aged and a little sad now, but he can't imagine that it doesn't reflect the same love and adoration it did all those years ago.  and he can't imagine that maeve feels any different than he did at the time.

he sits stoically on the edge of his bed after pulling his sweatpants back up, clenching his fists.  he can't let you fall for each other.  he may have let maeve have your body, but you are still completely his.  and now he must prove it.

this is so juicy i might have to write a part 2...

[evilminji]

I got distracted, BUT I REMEMBERED!

The Dr.'s Fenton? Would ABSOLUTELY fight a child.

Specifically, Hatsume Mei. Future CEO of Hatsume Industries! And ENGINEERING RIVAL of their's! They may be new to this whole "support industy" business, but they are SEASONED weaponry makers! And that brilliant little upstart is good! Audacious! A THREAT!!!

COME GET SOME!!! D:<

See, they needed to Move. Things were getting a bit... spicy. They may have made so unfortunate choices, back before they knew the truth about their Son and Ghosts in general.

Ignorance, bigotry, and academic bias are curses in their house for a REASON, after all. They never thought... after all the DECADES of facing it themselves...

Well...

Needless to say, they were, are, and will always BE horrified by how they acted. There may have be a whole host of reasons behind WHY they acted that way. But those WHYs aren't good enough. They should have been better. Done better. They don't offer any excuses, but but they can give an explanation, if it's wanted.

And, together, as a family, they got through Maddie n Jack's horrifying mistakes.

God they don't deserve those kids. Love them to pieces. The things they don't warn ya about parenthood, you know? The mistakes you might make. You think you're ready. Think everything's alright. Then your life's work KILLS your son and brings him back.

And you don't notice.

......what sort of parents DONT NOTICE?

They still have nightmares. Feel sick. God, if they were working in ANY other field. With ANY other materials! If it wasn't SPECIFICALLY ectoplasm? He... he wouldn't have come back. Oh god.

........

So.... so, yeah.

They're working on some things! As a family! Seeing a therapist from the Zone. Lovely... Them? They're a tree person. Neither Jack or Maddie is quite certain what gender pronouns, if ANY, they are supposed to use. They've been defaulting to They/Them just to be safe. Still! Alien therapist! Neat!

But, of COURSE. The BABIES in White throw a FIT. "Wah, wah, wah you've been compromised blah blah blah" oh PLEASE! Just because they've had a little personal growth! And stopped shooting at Phantom in public! And in general! You shoot ONE little Goverment agent for trying to shoot your baby and suddenly YOUR the bad guy!

He didn't even die!

So, yeah, BIT spicy.

Honestly? Feels like a long time coming. They were never very popular. This ultimately just feels like the ends of a road that began in college. Them, the two "crazies" with their backs to the wall, as the government closes in, trying to tear them down for knowing the TRUTH and refusing to shut up about it. Their reputations so deep in the mud, they're tasting bedrock.

At least they are together.

And thank god they've had years to plan for the inevitable.

So? They have the kids grab their go bags and head off too stay with Danny's new celebrity friend from another dimension, Mr Wayne. Nice man, little dim, but since he's willing to open his home to the kids in case of emergency? Perfect. And frankly, as long as Mr. Pennyworth is there, everything will be fine.

Besides! Lil Damian is a very respectful and responsible young man. Tim and Danny may get up to mischief, but they can trust the youngest to put his foot down.

THEM on the other hand?

Not so lucky. THEY have to stay with the house. It's not exactky like they can move the portal after all, it's built in. And this is where the kids grew up! Where Jack and her scrimped and saved, lived out of cars and off nickle noodles, to afford! This is their HOME! And no jack booted THUG is going to take that.

So the kids go first. They go to the command center. Jack takes pot shots while she fires up... THAT machine. The one they wired into the house itself, right along with the Ectoplasmic Shielding. It was all theoretical, once. But not anymore.

Now they have The Zone.

It's been collecting energy runoff from the open gate ever since it opened. Siphoning them into the sub-basment mega batteries. Enough to run two-thirds the planet for the next half a millennia. If only the damn patent office would LET THEM PATENT THEIR WORK-!

But that doesn't matter anymore. No, what matters is checking how full the battery banks are. Decently. It HAS been a while since they've done a controlled drain. Good, that means they have more then enough.

So, with no kids to witness things getting nasty? She pulls out her keys and unlocks the parental commands, flips the the shields to "strobe-kill". Let's see you crowd us NOW fuckers. With Jack freed up to help aim the house? They set to work.

It's... not EXACTLY an exact science, as much as they'd prefer it to be. More of a controlled jump. Set preferences, power jump, hop sideways an unknown distance. Land. Look around.

Is it what you want?

Habitable?

A zombie apocalypse?

Jump again. And again. And again. Until the battery runs out. Then sit... or float...or drift, there, until the batteries refill. You have to be mindful, of course, that you don't lose Shield coverage. Because it keeps the House air tight and together. If you jump and immediately lose power to the shields because you misjudged the energy left in the batteries?

Better HOPE you land somewhere with a breathable atmosphere and no zombies!

And Fentons don't rely on HOPE! They rely on good ol firepower and hutzpa!

Also advanced ectoplasmic scientific engineering! But that was a given.

It... takes a while. They run out of canned peaches. Have to stop TWICE to help cure a zombie plague, since they are the only ones with a still working lab. They were actually sort of joking with the kids about the zombies. Oof. Good thing Ectoplasm eats EVERYTHING. One specialized ecto shot and that disease is TOAST.

Granted, the surviors are all limnal now. But they don't seem to care in the slightest.

Then there was the whole "oop! Planet's gone." Couple of worlds. The one with the crabs. The ocean one. The ice age. The robots. The cartoon horses. The inappropriately dressed high-schoolers with weapons fighting God. The boring one. The one with ninjas...

I mean, they are just NOT having any LUCK!

Okay, next moderately stable world, they are doing a groceries run! A Man can not live off freeze dried meals forever! Well, you CAN. But it's making Jack sad, and frankly that's a war crime. Plus she's run out of tea! AND coffee! A life of no caffeine? She can't endure that.

She's started to eye her son's God awful energy abominations in a can, for God sake! Desperate time's and all that...

Zyeyooom!

Thunk!

Which? Is how? The ENTIRE class of 1-H? Turns to stare in ABSOLUTE HORROR at the cackling, head thrown back, hands clawed, mad scientist "it's alive! It's aliiiiiiive" type insanity that is Hatsume Mei and her "this green goo I found from some guys Quirk" powered teleport anchor.

It MADE A HOUSE.

On SCHOOL FUCKING GROUNDS. An ENTIRE house! Is... is that a blimp? That's English right? What's it say?! What the FUCK is that sh- OH MY GOD ARE THOSE PEOPLE!? MEI!!!!!

So begins... the Fentons Beef With A Child™.

Because! Mei will forever more claim! That SHE brought them to this universe with HER magnificent machine! But Maddie and Jack? At first, trying to be nice about it, helpfully point out, actually? No. THEIR house can and does reality jump. THEY brought themselves.

Mei ignores them.

Crows about her magnificent machine. Scoffs about them thinks they haspd anything to do with it.

Oh... oh it is ON, you tiny pink haired little shit!

Does the Japanese Government want to take control of the situation? Of course they do. They want these scientists and they want that house. Local Nedzu's say? "It's nice to want things" :) *sips tea mockingly*

They landed on HIS school's grounds. Finders keepers!

You may say "threat to national security" but HE says "free support gear for the students and security for the school"! Not to MENTION all this delightful FREE clean energy! They are a delightful couple. With a portal to the fabric between realities in their basement!

Not found of the laboratory, but that's a personal issue. The ZONE however? Oooohohohohoho~☆

It? Would DRIVE THE HPSC and Japanese government BATSHIT INSANE that they can't get at the portal? That threats and stealth Heros and every other method? Just... hits a brick wall. A big ol "lol nope!" Meanwhile Nedzu and occasionally random teachers or students are popping in and out of this house they can get into?

Nedzu especially standing just on the other side of the shields going >:3 neener~ neener~ neener~ Ha ha! I could be mature about this but am CHOOSING NOT TO BE!

@legitimatesatanspawn @mutable-manifestation @hdgnj @hypewinter @babbling-babull

[totallyoriginalartist]

Lee Guest for Anons finally

Blah blah blah this is tickle fic

“It Takes More than Pizza…”

Lee! Guest 1337

Ler! Elliot

As he respawned in the cabin, Guest got hit with a headache to rival all headaches. A throbbing, pounding, dizzying kind of headache. He groaned and went to lie down upstairs on the beanbags. To his surprise, Elliot was there before him.

“Hi Elliot…” Guest groaned and went to sit next to him.

“Hey… you good?” Elliot wasn’t used to seeing Guest like this.

“I’m fine… Just a headache.”

Elliot stared at Guest, clearly not believing him. But Guest knew what he was talking about, so if Guest says he was fine, then he was fine. It still lingered on Elliot’s mind though.

Guest took the beanbag next to Elliot and sat there, just breathing heavily. Elliot really doubted that he was, “fine.”

“Sooo… I died first… how did the round go?”

Guest sighed. “I don’t wanna talk about it…”

Elliot stopped asking questions, still worried about Guest. “Okay…”

Elliot got up out of his beanbag and went down to the main lobby of the cabin. He contemplated how to get through to Guest. He was spectating the round… it really was bad for him. He made a lot of avoidable mistakes, even when C00lkidd messed up worse.

Sure, Elliot actually did heal Guest when he was close to death, but… Guest always just lost the health right after.

And when everyone respawned back in the cabin, no one even said anything to Guest. They all just… looked at him, like he was a disease. Elliot had to admit that he was the same way.

Guest had managed to teach Elliot how to time his pizza throws and most importantly—how to aim them. Elliot was fully in debt to Guest, and so he took it upon himself to help Guest.

But… how would he? Guest never opens up to anyone, and the only thing Elliot is sure he enjoys is helping others. And he already does that. There’s no possible way he could be able to help him-

Okay. He had to stop and just… think. Guest had had tough rounds before. What could have been different about this one? Guest said he had a headache… maybe he got hit too much? Maybe Elliot was thinking too externally. Guest wasn’t just a sentinel or a survivor, he was a human person with feelings and emotions.

This brought up several possibilities. Elliot was thinking how to get through to Guest instead of how to get through to a human!

Elliot went back upstairs to find Guest wide awake, staring at the panda on the old TV. “Hi again, Guest…”

“Elliot, you were gone for two minutes.” Guest kept his eyes on the screen.

“And I was very productive in those two minutes!” Elliot’s tone wandered into annoying territory. “I was actually just… I was thinking.”

Elliot sat on the side of Guest’s beanbag. “I get it if you don’t want to talk about what happened in the round,” he shifted closer to Guest. “So, tell me about other rounds. The good rounds! The ones where you punch the killer to save someone!… usually me.”

Guest took his eyes off the screen to meet Elliot’s. He sighed. “Well… there’s the round where I parried 1x of the castle at Brandon’s place… the time I charged into John and pushed him into piranha water… oh- and the time I punched Jason so hard he dropped his machete! That was cool.”

Elliot felt more accomplished with each new memory that arose. And for a moment, they were kids again, sharing stories, laughing, having fun… like normal humans.

“Or- or- or the one time when you got, like, 6 parries in one round?”

“Yeah!”

The pair chatted for a couple more minutes before Elliot dropped his question. “Alright. Me that we established that you’ve done so much to help everyone… what happened in the round?”

Guest froze. Was he ready to talk? Was he really about to tell Elliot of all people, about what went down?

“… Elliot, I missed a punch. On the hill. Glass Houses. It�� I… got someone killed. Got you killed! I was in the military. I’ve seen people die. But… knowing I caused someone’s death? … how could I ever live with that?”

“How could I ever live with myself, knowing my mistakes got you killed?”

By now, tears pricked the corners of Guest’s eyes. Elliot could tell he was speaking straight from his heart.

“How could I, someone known to save lives, let yours go-“

“Guest… stop.” Elliot reached out a hand and put it on Guest’s shoulder. He was fully crying now, tears slowly rolling down his face. Elliot embraced him. He had… never seen Guest like this before.

“That was good. That was good…” Elliot rubbed Guest’s back and, very slightly, Guest twitched. Barely enough for Elliot to feel. But he did, and it sparked an idea on his mind.

Elliot traces Guest’s back, just enough to still be considered comforting. Guest squirmed a bit.

“Guest… I just.. wow.” Elliot traced a bit more. “I don’t blame you at all.”

“E- Elliot… your hand-“

Elliot started dragging a finger down Guest’s spine, eliciting a slight squeak from the veteran.

“Shh, it’s okay. I don’t blame you.”

“Ehehehelliot-! Whahahat are you dohohoing-?”

“I said shh.”

Guest by now knew what Elliot was doing as Elliot moved his fingers to Guest’s sides, gently kneading and spidering them along it.

“Listen, I get it.”

“Ehehehehelliot plehehehease!”

“I used to be the same way.”

“Ehehehehehehelliot!”

“I always thought that I was the problem.”

Elliot tickled faster, moving his hands to Guest’s stomach every so often.

“EHEHEheliot lihIHIHIsten-!”

“But you helped me!”

“StohoHOHOHOP-!”

“Which, I’m still a little salty about.”

“Ihihihi’m sohoHOHOHOrry!”

“You helped me see that I could do better even if I made mistakes!”

Elliot had Guest laid back on the beanbag, attempting to squirm away from his tickling.

“IhihIHIHI-! Yohohou’re wehehEHEHELCOme-?”

“So allow me, please, to do the same!”

After Elliot finished his spiel, he quickly skittered his fingers about Guest’s midsection.

“AhaHAHAHAHA! NO STOHOHOHOP!”

“Tell me you’re a great person.” Elliot kneaded into Guest’s stomach.

“WhaHAHAHAT?”

“Tell me that you’re a great person!”

“I’m a grEHEHEAT persOHOHON- I’m a great person!”

Elliot grinned. “See? That wasn’t so hard!”

Guest had more tears in his eyes now, but… they weren’t sad tears this time. “PleHEHEHEHEASE! StohOHOHOHOP!”

“Okay, fine.” Elliot retracted his hands.

“Urgh… I am a mess…” Guest sat up.

“Do you feel better though?”

“… yes.”

Thank goodness the 13th is gone

The Jason mains were torture💔🥀

[judeval]

Y'all I may have figured out the John x Bob x Yelena mess, but like, hear me out:

So like, first pairing is Bob and Yelena. Yelena is asexual, and after the years of drug addiction and performing one or more (more, many more) sexual favours to fuel that drug addiction, Bob is pretty sure he is too. So they get together, and it's small stuff like kissing, and movie dates, and the kind of comfortable domesticity that they've both craved their entire lives. It's nice and it's soft and between their messy and traumatic pasts and the messy and traumatic nature of their current work lives it's everything they need.

And then, a few months in, right around where they're starting to get serious and Alexei is finally starting to accept the fact that Bob is dating his little girl, Bob's sexual urges and needs come back in like, full force. Not occasionally, but in a way that is hypersexual. And he talks to his therapist (the one that he's been assigned by whoever is running this whole New Avengers/Thunderbolts show), who tells him that yes, this is normal. They tell him that his sexuality probably shut down after the trauma of the Void/Sentry/destroying the city of New York incident, that after all the emotional damage that the Sentry Project did to him, his body just shut off his libido until things were better, and that hypersexuality is normal for someone with the traumatic past that he has. So great, it's all great, except that his girlfriend that he's very much in love with and serious about is a sex repulsed asexual and has no interest in touching him.

In comes John, who has been whoring his way through the entire Island of Manhattan since the notoriety of being one of the New Avengers override all of the bad cred he got for killing that innocent guy. He has no interest in a romantic relationship because duh, he's still reeling from his wife leaving him with his son. So when, he hears Yelena fighting with Bob about the fact that she really does want him to find someone to help him manage his libido because jerking off as much as he does right now is not healthy, and John just fucking, volunteers. Because why not, he's bi and Bob's decently attractive and honestly, he needs to fuck less strangers so that he can avoid any more public embarrassment and STIs.

And so that's how it works for a bit, Bob as the hinge between a romantic primary and a sexual secondary. And Yelena's away for a while on an extended mission, and something more develops between Bob and John, and he feels really fucking bad about betraying Yelena like this, so he backs all the way off and basically shuts himself in his room until Yelena gets back.

Blah blah blah, Yelena fixes everything because she literally always does, and Bob and John go from purely sexual to romantic.

So yeah, polygamy. Bob x John coexisting with asexual Bob x Yelena, no Yelena x John because frankly, I think they'd kill each other.

[emodrstan]

Some people are still out here waving the "Team Iron Man" flag like Tony didn’t completely fumble the moral high ground in Civil War. I mean, let’s break this down: Tony’s whole argument hinges on the Sokovia Accords, which, sure, sound reasonable on paper—regulate the Avengers, prevent collateral damage, blah blah blah. But the dude’s coming off creating Ultron, a walking apocalypse he built because he couldn’t stop tinkering with things he didn’t fully understand. And now he’s all, “We need oversight”? Bro, you are the reason we’re in this mess! The hypocrisy is thicker than his ego.

Meanwhile, Steve was over here fighting for personal accountability and freedom, refusing to let a corruptible system—like the UN, which let’s be real, isn’t exactly a beacon of flawless decision-making—control people with powers they didn’t ask for. Tony’s so blinded by his guilt over Sokovia that he’s willing to sign away everyone’s autonomy, including his own team’s, just to feel better about himself. And then he has the audacity to act betrayed when Cap won’t play along? Come on.

The airport fight? Tony brought freaking Spider-Man—a literal teenager—into a brawl with zero context, just to pad his side. Cap’s trying to stop a global catastrophe with Bucky and the Winter Soldier program, and Tony’s too busy throwing a tantrum to listen. And don’t even get me started on the final fight—yeah, Bucky killed Tony’s parents, but under mind control and brainwashing!!!.! Tony’s ready to murder him in cold blood, and Cap’s the bad guy for stopping him? Tony’s emotions don't equal basic justice.

“Team Iron Man” stans act like he’s this selfless genius, but the guy was wrong—morally, strategically, emotionally. Cap wasn’t perfect, but at least he stood for something bigger than his own baggage. Tony just wanted a leash put on everyone else because he couldn’t handle his own. The damn MCU has said multiple times itself that Tony was in the wrong

[sugar-on-fries]

MY TWISTED DANDY AND ICHOR 'LORE' IS FINALLY HERE ^^

DISCLAIMER, i wrote this in the middle of night at 3am over like 3 days and i refuse to proof-read twice so i apologize for any grammar mistakes and if this makes zero sense.

Also this is literary 1900 words long of me yapping about ichor and dandy so y'know.

Ok so uhhh first. What IS Ichor? I'm not quite what it would be classified in-game and in my as BUT i can tell you how it works in my headcanons! Now, idk how the hell Arthur and Delilah could make an organism with the Ichor in the first place, but in my AU/headcanons the Ichor is basically a compound that can make something live and grow, and with it in your DNA it would be giving you most of the that your body would have whole systems for! I would go on about how ichor would make the Toons live and how they were made, But i'm not a damn scientist and i'm here to tell you what happens when you have too much Ichor in your system. But let's talk about the story for a second, we always have to start somewhere!

LETHAL || MAINS In mid 1986, Dandy was made by Arthur and Delilah for whatever reason, (don't ask me why that's not my department) After MANY failed attempts- Dandy was the first to actually breathe, live, and learn! But unfortunately, his DNA, his tissues, and whole body had WAY to much Ichor, at-least for a Toon, you could say it was a LETHAL amount but in generally his genetic structure was unstable. Delilah had originally declared Dandy a failure to Arthur and even if he would survive as for now and there was no doubt there was going to be consequences sooner-or-later, good or bad, and wanted to euthanize him, but Arthur opted out stating that 'He was already alive for almost 2 weeks now and he was already showing signs of learning his environment as well as attempting to communicate to the both of them, it'd be cruel.' also Delilah is dumbass and didn't tell Arthur that dandy could crashout and mutate due to the side effects of the ichor and him having so much in his system (we'll get to that) so yeah <3 Sometime after Dandy, in late 1987 the five mains we're made with what they learned with dandy, but bc they were still MORONS; Delilah and Arthur (mostly arthur's fault bc i said so) STILL made them with too much ichor, just with slightly less from what dandy has in his body, and since there was now SIX of these brats walking around here, Delilah and Arthur became permanent colleagues! and something something blah blah (i hate writing stories if u cant tell) - in 1989 they made the other toons and collaborated with a museum, and eventually got a tv show for the Toons to promote the museum.

ICHOR EFFECTS The Ichor has the ability to create life but that doesn't mean it can't kill it off too, in my lore the ichor is basically steroids on steroids. Its a weird ass supplement with the ability to make some organisms grow physically and mentally.

Imma get right into what I have made up so far, too much Ichor in your system can go right to brain, literary. The Ichor target's the brain, primarily the pituitary gland, the amygdala and, the frontal cortex. The Pituitary gland is mostly responsible for growth, specifically, it produces growth hormones which in toll promotes growth in bones, muscles, and other tissues, and the Ichor sends signals to the gland causing unwanted growth in the toon's body - now twisteds.

Now, the amygdala and the frontal cortex can (and will in this case) cause aggressive behavior with the amygdala playing a key role in recognizing and responding to threats, and the frontal cortex helping to regulate impulses and make decisions, but since the Ichor is now here - the brain is now getting signals consonantly to be aggressive due to the Ichor. also Ichor is kindaaa toxic to humans without the proper wear to handle it. hope this makes even a lick of sense <333 (also if ur wondering: "since the ichor makes them aggressive why aren't the toons aggressive???" they got media training or smth like that)

TWISTED DANDY Now that we know what the Ichor does to the brain mainly in my lore, now i wanna talk about my glorious king, dandy BUT FIRST lets talk about the mains real-quick. Like i said, the mains have more Ichor than the regular toons. this is my reason why the mains are larger than the regular toons and in my AU/Headcanons, more aggressive. and logically since they would grow WAY more than normal twisted, they would be in CONSTANT AGONY, always full of fear and anger. Now think about when it comes to Dandy, but multiply it by 6 /j I would talk about his in-game twisted form but guess what? this is about MY dandy and MY Ichor lore so idc about him rn, also lets talk about the story for once more! In-game there is a document by Arthur to Delilah about an incident that most likely got Gardenview shut down and it goes along the lines of this: "Delilah, we need to talk. I know you've kept reassuring me that what had happened wasn’t due to anything you had done. Yet I feel as if we still need to talk about this, you had to have known this could happen to him. You had to have known that this was even a possibility. If you did, why didn't you tell anyone? Why didn’t you tell me? Something like this doesn’t just happen."

Now, this COULD be about ANYONE but imma make it about dandy because I can and for lore reasons. (<- praying that this doesn't poorly age) In my AU-thingy, in this part Dandy didn't FULLY transform into the twisted form i have for him, he transformed into something that was more like his 'canon' twisted form (i dont feel like drawing it use ur imagination /silly) , but overall less aggressive and painful than his 'full' form he was still aggregated and in discomfort generally, fumbling around in pain - trailing Ichor everywhere, labeling the rooms Dandy entered as 'unsafe' and 'a health-hazard' (plus he was lowkey terrorizing kids in this state) and since he trailed so much Ichor that it was in the air EVERYWHERE, the building had to close and eventually got abandoned overtime.

Now back to present! In my designs, dandy is more centaur lookin' with him rocking two sets of arms and two sets of 'legs'! Pictures down below if u don't know what he looks like! Now his 'Front legs' were going to be his arms like in his canon form but he ended up still having his top half and his body turned them into legs. Now fully transformed (but terribly) and now his whole body is even more fucked than it would be if he only transformed halfway, Dandy is now in AGONY <333 !!! When turning into Twisted Dandy, his spine grows rapidly including his muscles, tissues, and literary everything. He would also have bones quickly forming and Ichor rapidly hardening to make his front legs, as-well as everything i just said. same with his tail and everything below the belt, normally in nature this probably wouldn't hurt due to them evolving really slowly BUT even in-game it seems Dandy is doing this within minutes! And even if he was doing this slower than maybe 3 minutes he would still have to transform rather fast, and also in-game we can say that the toons are probably REALLY SHORT probably being the size of 2 to 4 feet tall (i'm being generous with the height rn) and 'canon' twisted dandy standing seems to be really tall too, and being like 3 feet tall and turning into something that's maybe about 12-15 feet tall when standing within minutes, THATS OBVIOUSLY GONNA HURT LIKE HELL.

Plus he would be changing his whole bone and muscle structure- once again IN MINUTES, and that's not even close to everything twisted dandy would have to tolerate. Still in my lore, the Ichor would target his brain which in toll would make his own brain to start yelling at him to become aggressive and sending singles though his body telling it to 'GROW AS FAST AS YOU CAN' but bc i can ,it doesn't numb any of the pain and keeps forcing his body to change and grow as he suffers though it. ALSO my twisted dandy is VERY HOT. Temperature wise. Since he's like idk 3 feet tall its not hard to assume that he would most likely have a fast metabolism, and since he's turning into a giant beast, i would imagine his body regulate his metabolism into a slower one. Basically something like a hare (fast metabolism) can generate heat very fast but can't grasp onto heat as well, but something like an Elephant (Slow Metabolism) is not going to be able to generate heat as fast but can hold onto heat better, And since Gardenview is most likely underground and you most likely are going down, its probably gonna be somewhat warm/hot in the building, and since the museum is shut down I doubt the ventilation is on/working. So my Twisted dandy would be generally hot due to his body changing his metabolism and him not being using to his body holding onto heat for long-periods of times (this is also why I draw him without a shirt fyi)

Also I like to draw him smiling through his tears bc I like to think he believes that smiling can help reduce the thought of pain through the release of endorphins and other neurotransmitters, (personally I don't buy it) and he's crying for obvious reasons. Now Dandy would also go though the most pain due to one little fact ^^ He never gets the chance to get used to the pain. Since the other twisteds aren't switching back to their "normal form's" they had time to get used to pain and the changes to their body, BUT GUESS WHO HASN'TTT- Even though others twisted had the same happen to them (Via, limbs forming rapidly, spines growing, bones and shi acting up) Dandy deals with these changes over and over and over again, not having a chance to adapt to these changes for even a second.

Aghhhh this is getting way too long for my standards and imma end it here, feel free to ask me anything and thank you 4 reading!!!

Also if you want to know why the ichor targets the brain and why it does what it does. that's not my department!! i'm here to yap about the effects of ichor and shi bc theres literary NOTHING on it. Any story plotholes that i refuse to fix or give intel on can be interpreted however u want idgaf <3 ALSO don't take any science facts in here at face-value, i am a stupid child that is not equipped in science in anyway, if you want to learn more about anything REAL in this, please do your own research i am simply using google and my little knowledge in science.

ALSO ALSO ALSO i was originally going to include drawings into this to show what i was talking about but then i didn't end up doing it bc im lazy, but here are the doodles i did make for it ^^

[sroloc--elbisivni]

i've been reminded of my old 'Transformers No War AU, Lord High Protector Megatron mentors punk bodyguard Hot Rod' AU that I don't think I'll get around to ever actually writing in fic form, so please enjoy this bullet point outline:

standard setup of a no-war prime and protector au. megop married and gross about it especially because megatron spends most of his time in space beating up quints doing the liberation thing.

well, not personally beating up quints, that's the problem, he has bodyguards now who won't let him do things like 'beat the shit out of a 50 foot alien monster'

because it would be a 'political crisis' or something if he died. whatever. cowards. faithless cowards, every one of them. as if he'd get killed.

but over time he has finally managed to shoo off, scare away, bribe with better positions, or otherwise resort to shameless matchmaking to get rid of most of them and now deadlock, his last remaining bodyguard, is married off and bothering his husband about personal safety instead of megatron

so he sets off thinking it's going to be a great trip except there's a teenager by his chair on the bridge. there's a teenager making fun of him. the teenager has flames painted on him and he's calling megatron an old man. wait what--

what do you mean you're the new bodyguard. what kind of a name for a bodyguard is hot rod

so of course megatron calls optimus to complain, immediately, to go 'i KNOW you're up to something, WHAT is this, why do I have a child, you CANNOT trick me into this I WILL not fall for it' and optimus just goes 'please i can't tell you why yet i just need you to trust me that he has to go with you'

megatron, because he is whipped, goes '....fine'

Mentoring, Reluctantly, Ensues. neither party is happy about this.

(megatron at one point calls up deadlock to complain and deadlock goes 'oh yeah hot rod i wrote him a recommendation letter for the job :D')

blah blah plot happens they bond eventually they are in a tight spot and hot rod sets himself on fire to get them out of it

it takes a lot out of him and he's woozy and giggly and megatron has to carry him back to the ship and he goes 'you're a terrible bodyguard. i bet you've never even killed anybody' hot rod, loopy: untrue! i killed zeta megatron: megatron: you fucking What.

turns out that back during the revolution, during one of those crazy months right after nyon got blown up (hot rod also killed all those people but he Doesn't want to think about that), when then-orion pax vanished for a while and came back with the matrix and was like 'yeah it's fine zeta's dead it's not important'. it was kind of important

sequence of events from op's perspective: when hot rod blew up nyon OP went 'oh my god you are a Youth' and took him under his wing to keep an eye on him and also to have someone else to do paperwork

op and hot rod both got kidnapped by zeta because it turns out that carrying the matrix means you can sense who else is a viable candidate for the matrix so zeta, now kind of insane, went off ranting about how orion was trying to build a dynasty to replace him and he and hot rod both went 'what the fuck are you talking about'

stuff happened. hot rod maybe burned him from alive to Very Dead and op retrieved the matrix and hot rod went 'i don't want anyone to know about this ever' and op went 'you know what that's fair you didn't sign up for this'

so OP has kept it on lockdown ever since and hot rod went off and joined the wreckers and jaunted around the galaxy for a bit and then wound up back on cybertron

and the priesthood took an interest in him. because there are Signs. and hot rod went from just a dude going to temple because he likes the music and has thoughts about theology and sometimes talks about it with OP to 'hm these sure are people in authority paying attention to me what a bad sign'

OP saw that hot rod needed to get off cybertron and decided to kill two birds with one stone

back on cybertron: priesthood: where is...the young bearer....(translation: can we talk to the kid instead of you, he seems impressionable and like less of an asshole) OP, an asshole : oh I sent him to go stay with the Lord Protector :) (translation: if you think you can get through megatron be my fucking guest)

megatron, after having dragged this story out of optimus over the long-distance call: i know you said no last time I suggested this, but I really think you should let me murder the priesthood optimus: megatron they do all of the IT work

this story has no real ending which is the main reason it probably won't exist, but it amuses me very much to subject these idiots to each other, and i hope it will amuse some of you.