#yeah.............i couldnt help myself i had to draw them

[cryptidmickle]

what if the cookies were gay. what then.

[solplease]

happy holidays everyone! sorry im late haha

[funnyscienceman]

ok so umm thoughts

Dont like that ori didnt get to do her 'going down to help despite dad's orders', unless somehow she did that as the, like what, twelve year old she's stuck as in that coccoon? So there's hers AND viktor's agency down the drain lmao

Singed actually being, if not corin, A reveck is still cool. Though idk why corin would be a separate person at this rate. I guess it's not impossible. In any case the locket has the initials C.R. on it in fancy writing so take that how you will

I love singed being goofy doing his own thing hes so funny

'No one in power is innocent' and also 'Patience is a virtue that comes with age, both of which I have in abundance' and like everything else in that scene. singed ily

I just love singed getting to be emotional. Getting to talk more and do more besides the baseline stuff in s1. Believe me i love those too bits too but i love singed BECAUSE he can have all this depth and is still somehow extremely silly lmfao

'Chin up, little one.' HE KNOWS HOW TO TALK TO CHILDREN. like we already knew that from his scene with viktor but it's just cool getting to see more of it. He knows how to talk to kids, how to interact with them, because he was ACTUALLY HALFWAY DECENT AT THE DAD THING. granted we dont get to see much of him being a dad with ori alive and walking around but im honesty willing to bet on it, because

Doesnt that make him MORE fucked up? That he would know how to be gentle, how to talk to kids, "Don't be afraid. You built this? Why aren't you playing with the others?" "Chin up, little one. We won't be in there for long." THE TONE OF VOICE. He CAN be decent, he CAN be kind, and he CHOOSES to experiment on and torture people and hurt people and let them get hurt for his own ends. Even his own PUPIL, he's willing to sabotage, just to get to warwick, for orianna. I have no doubts that he gives A shit about viktor, but he also loves Ori and he's put her in a coccoon and did she want that?

Besides the fact that he also could just see how the whole thing was some measure of fucked up and was like nah yeah thats not gonna last lmao heres ur warning kid, take it or leave it

In the moment i had thought that the instant cut from isha to singed at the rally was singed seeing that a kid was getting hurt and choosing that moment to act, but that could've also just been a cut to his reaction to cutting himself to draw warwick out, idk. This is just a footnote it doesnt matter much in the grand scheme of things lmao

Singed in a public space. Never thought i would see the day

THE BEDTIME STORY LITERALLY BEING THEIR SITUATION FFS

I will never recover from all this singed material. What's that? Viktor's started a cult? Jayce has a beard? Caitlyn's flip-flopping allegiances? Dude i dont care, im just here for singed. Look at him being goofy how could you not love him

Though to be real i am going to mourn the massive change to Ori's lore. What was so cool about the idea to me was how Orianna took her own life into her hands, first from dad, then death, and then dad again. I was baffled by it before, but upon rereading it i realize now why Ori left after giving dad her heart — he couldnt stop her from leaving anymore. It's framed as 'oh she's not human anymore so she has to find her place in this world' but it's really the root of her going down to Zaun in the first place: not the part where she's kind and giving, but the wanderlust. She wanted to go out and see the world, and Corin was always like no, it's too dangerous, you're staying here; and he was even pretty sucky about it by making the mechanical lungs require a key for winding, which he kept on his person up until he got sick. After the surgery, Ori took the key and left.

I'd thought myself that it was because she couldnt face him afterwards — i mean, she DID drug her dad and then perform heart surgery on him, using herself as the donor, all without his knowledge or consent; loving a gesture as it was it's still pretty fucked up LMAO — but i guess there's no reason for it to not be multiple things at once. And not like it matters much given s2 act2

One thing i find funny is how ori's image in the locket keeps changing. In s1 she looked like a lil baby, a preschooler maybe. In singed's arcane skin she looked like a teenager or even a young adult. Here in act 2 she looks like a tween lmao pick one rito

My thoughts are all over the place. Im no good at organizing. It's 12am and im brimming with energy.

Honestly no matter what happens, i think it'll be fine. Whatever riot declares as canon, you dont have to keep it. The thing about creative stuff like stories and characters is that once they're out there, they're not just the creators' anymore. That's the fun part about fanfic, we can just do our own thing and ignore whatever mess is going on in 'canon' lmfao

I like the idea of Ori's story being intact, and singed being corin reveck, and ori still going fullmetal and doing the heart surgery and leaving all before arcane even starts. I like the idea of s1 leading directly to all the fun fun fun stuff of league and LoR lore. Also i think singed doing all this unhinged science stuff and keeping himself alive just to preserve the last piece of his daughter, which she had given to him to save him, is pretty neat, so. I'm gonna stick with all that unless something absolutely drastic changes my mind

(Also i think it'd be funny if the worst man to ever walk Runeterra only came to exist/didnt die when nature said he should simply because his daughter, piltover's best most moral champion, loved him so much she gave him the last of her humanity to save him. Like congrats ori, your dad is still alive and kickin! Bad news is he has now aided and abetted imperialism/colonialism, chemical warfare, drug trafficking, and up to a thousand and maybe more awful awful human experiments and other crimes against humanity. Like can you imagine her coming back to piltover and finding all that out? That could mess her up. And wouldnt that be a neat character conflict to work out! Maybe with viktor who's also trying to find a balance between helping people and cold hard machinery! I love this little bubble and i will never leave thanks hahaha)

[qoldenskies]

Yes yes yes I love ask games :3

14, 21, and 76? (for CL specifically on the last one!!)

14. how do you write emotional scenes? Do you ever feel what the characters feel? Do you draw from personal experiences?

i am a verrrryyyy sensitive person who's had a fair share of panic attacks (my record was uhhh three in a row in one school day! i think i was in seventh grade? but it was once a day for pretty much my whole sophmore year it was NASTY, especially because i had fits that could last hourrsss) so i really claw deep into my own experiences when i write guilt and spiraling thoughts, it's not really cathartic or triggering for me but it helps me get into their brains a little!! although i HAVE cracked at couple of scenes, never into tears but sometimes i find myself holding my breath or feeling a pit in my stomach. i was actually hyperventilating a little when i wrote cw ch11 it was craaaazy

really i think the thing ive tried to emphasize the most was to go out of my way not to make it... detached, i guess? its a limited third person pov so im thinking in the way they see the world, how things go in and out of focus, etc etc. it can fuck with the prose but i think punchy simplicity works well especially when it comes to scenes with despair/fear (i think of that one line "He was feverish and delirious. He was scared and alone. It was so dark." in CL because goddd he's just a kidddddd.,,,,,)

idk im mostly eyeballing like everything i dont have any concrete advice

21. Would you ever collaborate with another writer for a story?

oh for sure at some point, maybe!! although i go at an extremely fast pace and my mind is always racing, and when i used to try to collaborate with my friends with ocs and stuff i always got. frustrated always having to consult them, so i would end up in my own little bubble and i always felt like such an asshole :( im worried i would end up doing something like that if i did, although i dont think i had problems doing it back in like 2019 so maybe? fanfic might be different, especially since its a lot more linear

its an appealing idea for sureeee, especially if i have a lot of synergy with the other person and i dont feel awkward presenting ideas LOL

76. Did you have any ideas that didn’t make the final cut of [Fanfic Name]?

ive gotten some ideas that i thought up AFTERWARDS, but when it comes to CL as i was writing it hmmm yeah i actually cut a couple of things because i put it out a little precooked,, originally i thought i was gonna release it on halloween!!

it was mostly in regards to the early stuff, little scenes that i thought would round out the pacing that i cut because i couldnt find any inspiration for them, but when it comes to the nasty abuse i will say: i was originally planning to show the beatdown in the hallway, and i wanted to rewrite the family meeting to make it worse. i've ACTUALLY been cornered like that by my family before (for uh. asking for therapy of all things, it's in the Traumatic Experience log, but its been years and they've all apologized and changed dw), although not to that extent, so i felt like i couldve made it longer. just make it crueler and crueler and crueler. and then i thought about it and was like Ehhhh raph wouldn't allow that he's not that far gone yet LOL. dude i was originally going to make them tear into EVERYTHING i could possibly think up. down to his little verbal quirks and the way he stands (and that's less from MY personal experience and more the way that i've seen people ONLINE shit talk others, especially neurodivergent lolcows. it was a very good source of inspiration). it was very close to getting nasstyyyyy.

OH and i wanted donnie to stay with april a little longer but it didnt turn out that way, i got her into the story like i wanted so success (and his absence gave them space to plan the murder attempt)

[knighthearts]

HONESTLY..ive been thinking a lil.

so i started down my path to becoming a professional character designer in 2013, when i designed my very first character who was MEANT to be a character design exercise. i cant exactly remember what prompted me wanting to go into character design--it could have just been that i was passionate about designing characters to the point of where i had looked up if that was a job or not--but it had become such a passion of mine that i would go on to study and practice character design for like 10 years afterward.

in 2018 i started to take this career path more seriously by enrolling in stephen silver's schoolism class, the fundamentals of character design. this was significant for me because stephen was at the time a very recent idol of mine and i admired his abilities--plus this would count as my first "formal" character design learning experience. i didnt feel very good after taking the class; it was critiqued, and i kind of got ripped into lol. but after i recovered, i didnt give up and just worked harder, eventually taking his second class a couple years later. that time i did pretty well and i came out feeling like i was finally ready to apply to jobs in the industry!

unfortunately, erm...the job hunting was not only Not a success, but it only served to kind of kill my passion for character design. every time i applied i was rejected and every critique i asked for gave me something new i had to do differently. one critique in particular hurt me a lot and killed my passion for art overall (obviously not completely, i have the art autism so i could never fully fall out of love for it lol). it got to the point where last year (2023) i made the decision to give up on character design as a career and just do commissions full time.

dont get me wrong, i am very happy doing commissions as my full time job!!! i love drawing people's blorbos :]...but also, its a very inconsistent income, and theres been a couple months where i couldnt make rent without help, and that doesnt feel good at all.

so ive been thinking. i dont rly wanna go back to the industry--it still feels bad to me and right now it seems as though the industry is not in a great environmental situation anyway, so i dont wanna even attempt to try getting a job there again. however........i was honestly reconsidering if i had actually lost the passion for character design because it just genuinely wasnt my true passion, or if i had only lost it because the industry killed it. and i think the conclusion i came to was that yeah it was the industry's fault that made me fall out of love with it because it made me feel like i was doing everything wrong and nobody would like my design style.

so now my thought is like...maybe i dont HAVE to work in the industry to be a professional character designer? sure itd be AMAZING for my work to be on like. cartoon network or something. but i dont think i Have to work at a studio to be happy in that career path?? like..idk. maybe i can be a freelancer or something. if an industry opportunity shows itself i dont think i'll decline, but i wont actively seek them out anymore.

its just that i feel like ive put too much work and time and money and effort and passion into character design yknow? i dont feel right anymore just letting the industry kill that passion. i wanna reignite it and use the knowledge and skills ive gained over the 10 years ive been working at it to make a good living for myself. yeah itd be great to get guild pay lol, but if i can just...figure out how to do freelance character design work, then i think it can be just as good and fulfilling

sorry for the long post i just needed to air some thoughts out as usual <33 i guess this does show that character design still is my passion LOL i talked so fucking much about it after all. if u have any thoughts to share feel free i guess

[avenfawn]

TRIGGER WARNING. vent

It's just me that can't forget many things? And i absolutely hate it?

At middle may to the end of september i had a very good friend group, which i really felt comfortable too, i shared alot of my life with them and etc, i loved them very much.

But in middle september i lost them for a thing i said, can't remember it very well...And till this day and on, i can't just erase them from my memory?? Some of them still wanted to talk to me, others just, messaged me and moved on, there was one that just blocked me too. And that was it.

It has been moments, but i'm not able to move on, i have so many friends now, the time i lost them i didnt, and i felt lonely for the first time in so long.

But i have new friends now. But still, i'm unable to move on, maybe it was because i just saw them as a family? I dont know to be honest...

i feel miserable when thinking about them, i feel sad and i start hating on myself so much. Even though, at this rate they even forgot i was among them one time.

I hate it, i wish i was unable to forget, i wish i was able to move on.

That's why i stopped so many things i had, because i feared losing other people because of my actions. I kinda lost my humor too, i just dont feel secure making jokes like before.

I remember crying for days over them on call with my best friend, just wishing i would stop being so dumb.

I stopped almost everything i did, i stopped eating properly, i returned to one of my bad drinking habits, i couldnt sleep that well.

That was it for some weeks until my best friend helped me with it.

Because of this i rarely vent too, because if i vent too much, i'll be trauma dumping and people will get bothered at me. So yeah, i'm just cant get over it.

Doesnt help i was scrolling over tumblr and i found one of these ex friend that mentioned the group of friends, with a drawing they did. I wished i was there, but i mess up everything i do.

sorry for the depressed text, just needed to get this out of chest a little bit.

[seabear87]

Just a quick fanfic from ages ago.

The grass was wet, he noted. But she didnt seem to mind, laying there and just moving her hand about where the fireflies would gather. She would draw her hand lazily through them, watch them disperse just to come back again.

He cleared his throat as he approached, but she didnt look over at him.

"Was wondering how long you were gonna stand there."

"I wasn't sure you wanted company." He muttered. "It has been a rather...weary week for you."

"Mm." Raine sighed. "Word travels fast."

"Small town, my dear. It doesnt take much to get the rumor mill running."

"Yeah well maybe they should just mind their own damn buisness."

He raised an eyebrow and watched her wave an irritated hand at a firefly.

"I see." Elliott rubbed the back of his neck. "Well, I suppose...I shall leave you to your musings, then."

He had turned to leave but he caught her lunging forward to sit up, scattering the lightning bugs all around.

The look she held on her face worried him, and the internal struggle seemed to take all her focus. Perhaps she wasnt aware of the expression that strained her already thin features, but for a moment he could see past the facade.

He didnt step away like he intended. How could he? He pulled a sigh in through his nose and moved closer and she had turned away from him.

"I'm sorry." He nodded at the apology, wincing as he pulled his jacket off to lay it on the wet grass. Yet another victim to the undergrowth, he cursed.

"I understand, Raine. You needn't get upset."

He sat next to her, smiling as the fireflies sensed the calm again and floated close.

"They always talk about him." Raine finally muttered, picking at the grass. "I hear Lewis bitching to Marnie about it but no one is willing to help."

Elliott nodded again, looking out past the cliff. He heard about the whole thing from Willy, but the old fisherman was good about glossing over the fine details.

"I haven't spoken much to Shane myself." he admitted, "The man is rather...abrasive."

"Hes an asshole."

He looked at her with a raised eyebrow and she shrugged.

"I suppose he is." He leaned back with a sigh. "Are you two close then?"

She barked a laugh, "No, no not at all. He used to come to the farm all the time when i was a kid and chase me around with foxtails and pull my hair and stuff."

A screaming little Raine in dirty overalls and messy hair. He couldnt help but smile.

"We had an old horse named Lucy that would chase him off the farm."

"She sounds protective."

"Lucy was short for Lucifer. Grandpa couldnt break him of biting so he just used him as a guard dog instead. He was fond of going for the butt."

Elliott tried his best not to laugh but when she started he couldnt resist.

"I feel for him." Elliott chucked, wiping a tear from his eye. "I'm surprised you two didnt garner a close friendship later."

"He would only be here for a summer. But I guess things didnt turn out so good." Raine leaned down and picked up a beetle. "Marnie isnt really his aunt, she was just a family friend I guess."

"Ah."

A comfortable silence fell, and Raine leaned back to lay on the grass again. Elliott watched as she raised her hand up towards the dark sky.

"There's a heaviness in the Valley, you know?" Raine muttered. "Its been weighing on me since i got here."

"Is it the valley, or just the burdens we bear?"

He caught the sad smile.

"Probably."

"You dont need to bear them alone, Raine." Elliott said, leaning over her. "I know that perhaps i dont have Shanes... Illustrious history with you, but you've become one of my closest friends. I want you to be able to come to me if you need anything."

He frowned as her lip trembled ever so slightly, and to save her embarrassment he sat back up.

"Ill...take you up on that."

[rexaleph]

Ohhhhh my god. I have always been me!!! Throwback style vulnerabilityposting

This severe breakdown started (or became unmanagable) when i tried to quit my job earlier this year and it didnt work out. like last time 10 years ago!!! When i tried to transition and the psych i went to couldnt help me and then etc.

i had one idea for how to fix everything and save myself and when it didnt happen i fell apart!!

And like, im much more functional now. ive done everything i could, made good choices, kept up w work but basically deprioritized it, i took care of myself physically, i reached out, made local friends, tried dating, went to a therapist (they said im outside of their competence and need psychiatry/medication - but i have horrific health anxiety and am very scared of psych drugs), reconnected w my family, stopped drinking, made art, took a trip. Instead of hiding in my room for 4 months while everything slipped away and then attempting suicide like i did at 19. (Also made some insane decisions and spent 1/3 of my savings. But all in trying to help myself!) (I did occasionally think back on back rhen and wonder if what i have now is worse than then, but did not draw conclusions on the situation overall)

And the problem then and now ofc is the need for fixing everything and saving myself, finding life as is unbearable! and all the good mental health moves ive made were targeted towards creating a liveable life but i just kept getting worse. Im basically never not crying w terror these days. And what fixed it then was finding another way towards transition and working towards that (slowly and painfully and terrifiedly!) (years long climb out of the abyss!) (I am maybe not in the abyss rn!) I didnt know how to try again right away!!

Like this morning i was like hm, what if i applied for jobs again. (Bc basically seems like my defence got pushed back again, or actually my boss said sth dumb that suggests he sees me sticking around and doesnt realize im not at my limit, i am beyond it, if im meant to finish my thesis i need at least a month off, maybe a whole sabbatical,maybe psychiatric care) And then had this entire epiphany. And i gotta bring lunch to my grandparents across town and like support and take care of them, then go see my parents, whom ive missed and waited for desperately, and now ofc i am contemplating moves they will uh not approve of lmao. Ive been getting ready to have a breakdown in front of them and like ask for a hug bc we havent touched each other in years, and idk if i need that anymore.

Anyway yeah, what does that do to the terror? Idk.

[voidwritesstuff]

Long Way To The Truth

Cw:Lucas has a paranoid spiral, killing off an npc,guns,mentions of ptsd..

♡Chapter Five: Utah

♡summary; Lucas has various run ins with the law,some pleaseant and others...

As he drives into the state of Utah,theres something that had been picking at the back of his mind. That damn black SUV, it may be his paranoia but hes been dealing with these goverment spooks his whole life.

He rolls back his shoulder,trying to shake off the bad feeling thats clinging onto him like a leech. A sigh falls past his lips as he turns on the radio,and for a second time in his journey, Black Sabbath plays,same song.

Finished with my woman 'cause

She couldn't help me with my mind

People think I'm insane because

I am frowning all the time

Lucas hisses in discontent at the recognition of the song, but leaves it on. With a scowl he keeps Driving, a resting bitch face that could scare anyone.

All day long I think of things

But nothing seems to satisfy

Think I'll lose my mind

If I don't find something to pacify

Can you help me

Occupy my brain?

Oh yeah

He hates how much the song fits Him. In any other context he'd be singing along,but after being chased by some weird SUV,yeah no thanks.

One of his "quirks" is that he overthinks,he does that a lot. Hell,that SUV was enough to send him to the edge of a paranoid spiral,hes so damn close, he cant be caught before ever reaching Milton-Haven..

I need someone to show me

The things in life that I can't find

I can't see the things that make

True happiness, I must be blind

See,this is the thing thats making him consider seeing a therapist again,hes used to his paranoid spirals,hes lived with them his whole life. But just because hes gotten used to it,that doesnt mean its easy.

On bad days,he couldnt even leave his house, he'd cover up all Windows and entrances And just bunker himself into his house for days at a time.

He hates It, he hates the feeling of paranoia,the Fear,the anxiety. God,he does need help.

Make a joke and I will sigh

And you will laugh and I will cry

Happiness I cannot feel

And love to me is so unreal

And its not only the paranoia,he feels happiness like its muffled,filtered out. He could laugh,he could find things funny,but the happiness didnt last long. And as much as he wants to hold on to that feeling,there are days where its as brief as the passing breeze.

And so as you hear these words

Telling you now of my state

I tell you to enjoy life

I wish I could but it's too late

The song ends shortly thereafter. He sighs in relief and lets the other songs play out until he reaches a café. There he orders breakfast and sits on a quiet,lone booth in the back.

Paranoid,hes paranoid, he knows that. But he tries to play it off so he doesnt stick out like a sore thumb.

Lucas tilts his head to the side,stretching his neck muscles with a deep sigh. He feels the bones in his neck pop and a lot more relaxed he grabs his Journal

"Already in Utah, ive been paranoid and panicky all day. I havent felt like this since my last paranoid spiral a week ago,the Day I decided I needed to chase this mystery.

God,i can still remember the feeling of having my house in complete shutdown. All the Doors locked, it was GODDAMN awful.

I need a break before I actually have a public freakout and draw more attention to myself. I dont want to be even more of a target...or feel that way ever again.

Thought this trip would help me get out of the house and feel less paranoid. Having to be on the edge of yet another spiral is a Real gut punch to the Morale. Its just a few days more, I think I can hold out.

Hopefully."

Post breakfast,he resumes his Driving,checking his outside mirror more than he should. He double checks that his rifle Is at hand more than he normally would.

Oh he can already feel it setting in,the cold sweating, the anxious bounce of the leg, the way his fingers tap on the Gear shift in an uneven,inconsistent rythm. Its like a melody falling appart.

Hes out of synch,hes out of rythm,like a drummer messing up the beat of the song over and over again.

Lightheaded,his heartbeat is a drum in his ears,blasting and breaking his eardrums. Its awful, asphyxiating

With shaky,irregular breaths his eyes look for a motel nearby. He spots one in the map,one of the things he highlighted before the trip, and on the way there, he decided he needs to calm down.

It starts off with breathing excersices,deep inhales and exhales. Then,grounding excersices, 5 things he can see,four things he can touch,That sort. And slowly but surely,his breath Evens out,his heartbeat returns to normal and he feels back to reality.

Yet,it takes a toll on him. His body feels s lot weaker,more tired.

He hates it,he Hates that he knows whats the right thing to do. And so,he keeps Driving.

As he reluctantly pulls into the parking lot of the motel, Lucas mentally curses that stupid paranoia spiral that led him here.

The door to his van closes rather loudly,usually he is carefull with car Doors, but today hes pretty pissed, so he slams the door shut,catching the attention of a person leaning on the entrance to the motel.

But he doesnt notice them until he hears them go-- Damn,Rough Day.

You wouldve thought he could have broken his neck with the speed that he Turned to see the person talking to him.

Hes met with a rather short woman, around 5'3,short Bond hair,grey eyes and dressed in pretty comfortable normal clothes.

--You could say as much-- he replied, a little annoyed but trying to not lash out.

This girl can tell though, she notices the way his jaw sets and his eyes almost burn a hole through her head.

--You might want to find someone to look out for your van, shit's been crazy as of late.

Lucas squints at her,checking for anything that might confirm his suspicion.

And he does, he sees the glimmer of a badge poking out from the pocket of her jacket. But she looks a lot younger than him and hes too tired to throw down with anyone.

--Tough chance kid,now ive had a very,very,bad day so far. So,if you dont mind-- he starts before the woman stands infront of him. He snarls and hisses a growl,annoyance building up.

--look- I know what youre trying to do

--Youre a fed,'course y'do

--n' I think its the right thing-- she added,which made him back off just a little.-- I wasnt lying about stuff getting crazy,ill Keep an eye out on the van.

--And me

She rolled her eyes, pursing her lips and giving him a blank stare-- you wish. Im on your side and I think it would do you good to listen to what I have to say. Youre a Smart Man,arent you? So quiet down

Fine, hes playing along. Hes too tired to protest-- fine,what is your wisdom, oh great fed.

God,his sarcasm was really taking the wheel,huh?

--I am on your side,I dont think our little friend from the 60s should make a comeback,its too effective,too inhumane -- she explains,relaxing her posture a little since he is not an active threat.-- so you go sleep,hey some rest and get ready. Because theyre comin at you with everything that theyve got

Lucas sighs, nodding-- 'kay, fine so do I have to pay a bribe or something

--dont tempt me. But no-- she replied-- And also,theres this therapist in Milton-Haven,I know a guy whose sister is a patient of his,told me hes a great guy. His names something Wales. I think you could use the help

Oh,so he looks THAT traumatized,huh?

--Good to know I look that fucked up-- he snapped back.

--Brother,we have a whole file on you

--'course y'do

--I know you have PTSD. Trust me- ive bee-- im right there with you, theres help out there for you.

At that,his gaze softens,his heart feels like its being squeezed and his face changes. Hes no longer angry,he feels...sorry.

She can tell,and hes quick to recompose himself and scoff,trying to play it off by walking into the motel as he says-- Hide yer damn badge,yer Fed's showing.

The agent only chuckles at his flusteredness and adds-- sweet dreams,Mr.Cole.

Lucas books a room for the night. He gets set into bed,actually enjoying the comfort of the bed rather than be put off by it.  Hes that exhausted. With a deep breath,he allows his conscience to be taken over by sleep.

He finds himself in the barracks of the place they were stationed at. Hes enjoying the mildly Cool breeze that flows through the few Windows.

--Bored much,lieutenant?--Wheeler asks, with a smirk on his lips.

--oh hey Al-- he replied,as his friend sat down beside him on the bed.-- not bored its just...jetlagged

--yeah ive had that happen to me,itll take a few days to get used to it

--Its like ive been steamrolled-- he murmurs,rubbing his eyes-- im so damn Tir-- he yawns,cutting his sentence in hair--ed

Alphonso chuckled-- welcome to the world,kid. Hey,you wont Belive what I sneaked past the guards

A little curious he asks-- What?

Like a kid in christmas,his Friend pulls out two small Hershey chocolate bars-- the good stuff,kid.

--How did you even--He grabs one of the bars,its Cool to the touch-- how is it cold?

--i have my ways-- Wheeler answer with a shrug as he peeled open the chocolate.

--Who did you even have to bribe to get these past,well,everyone?!--Lucas asked, impressed,confused and slightly worried that this will come back to bite them in the ass.

--A true magician never reveals his methods,'n also you'd be surprised at the ammount of shit ive Snucked in-- his captain answered,taking a bite out of his chocolate-- Get rid of the evidence before it melts. Cmon

Enthusiastically,he mows down that chocolate,laughing along with Wheeler to some of his tales of Shenanigans past.

He awakens with a groan as he rolls on his back, his body feeling a little sore. It takes him a second to stand up,spending a few minutes laying on his back with one hand on his stomach and the other behind his head.

When he does eventually sit up,he rubs the sleep out of his eyes and a sleepy whine escapes him,sounding Like a half asleep kitten rather than a fully grown 55 Year old Man.

"13:05"reads the clock on the nightstand,he sighs loudly and gets ready to leave to get lunch. But when he opens the door he finds a cardboard bag with a mcdonalds emblem printed on it,and on it a note "Its not poisoned. YES this note Will make you think that it is, if I wanted you dead I would've Killed you in your sleep. Anyway I hope you had a good nap. -S.V."

And once again,just when he thinks his life couldnt get any weirder, life proves him wrong

Hes not gonna look a gift horse in the mouth,so he takes the food and eats. It disturbs Him a little that she got his order right too, but hes also not that surprised.

Once hes done eating, he goes to check on his van through the Window of his room. Still there,nothing out of place from what he can see, but Parked right Next to It  is a black SUV. He looks low key OFFENDED that she would park the very obvious fed vehicle right Next to his white van.

But then he stops and thinks about the absolute insanity that is having a white van Next to an unmarked SUV. Both of the most suspicious vehicles to ever exist on this planet,Next to eachother just hanging out.

For his peace of mind he figured its like negative plus negative equals positive. If people saw those two things there they'd think nothing of it because who would actually do that.

Yet before he backs off to Keep sleeping, he notices the Agent go into the SUV with what seems to be a happy meal box, and just sit there and eat as she listens to the radio.

He knows that federal agents are people just like he was,but actually seeing an agent jam out to aqua's "Barbie girl" was defenetly an experience. But he feels moved and only scoffs playfully,to then Grab a fresh pair of clothes and get into the shower.

Because of the day he was having,he didnt do his whole routine. He just did enough so his hair didnt look like complete shit and left It as it was,whatever happened to it was between him and god.

Tiredly,he hops into bed only to hear a rattle come from the cardboard box that was still on the bed. He reaches over only to find a green tamagochi in the bag,theres a note taped on it "a token of peace for when youre stuck in a traffic jam"

He snorts and decides to kill of some time by playing with the tamagochi. He'd have to look for tracking devices later,but that was an issue for future Lucas.

Current Lucas spends his time playing with the tamagochi for a few hours until hes ready to leave. He packs up his stuff,puts the little Toy in his pocket and goes to his van to shove all his shit in there.

But before he leaves, he goes to the store by foot, gets exactly two Hershey chocolate bars and returns.

--No wonder I caught your badge--He mutters,noticing the Window of the SUV rolled down half way. He grabs the Hershey chocolate that has a note on it and lets it fall on the drivers Seat, then he goes into his own vehicle and just as he closes the door he notices something.

Theres a small bundle of notes on the passenger Seat tied together with an elástica band.

He takes a few seconds to take a quick look at them, they're mayer documents, theres a list with adresses of buildings, a few with redacted notes.

And a little post it that says "if anybody asks,I didnt get them for you. This never happened,I dont exist. Also itll do you good to find Dr.James. safe trip"

Lucas raises a brow but sets the papers down, and just as he pulls away from the parking lot,his fed friend comes from the inside of the motel and watches him leave. He salutes her and she salutes right back, leaving her to Snicker to herself.

She gets into her car only to notice the chocolate bar with the note, she takes it and it reads "thanks for looking out for my van. Consider this your Bribe- LT.L.C." and underneath it theres a small Killroy drawn with the phrase "get killroiy'd" ,The agent snorts and gets into her car.

She needs to think for a damn good lie to tell her assigned battle buddy,a guy by the last name Dwight,who she left on the dinner they had breakfast at whilist waiting for Lucas to show up. She knew it had to be good,if not her fellow agent would go and check it out, and she did not like his odds against Lucas.

They werent particularly close. Hell,shes never heard of the guy before this very day. But both were there to hold eachother accountable just in case, and the guy had a reputation for taking matters in his own hands If he wasnt satisfied with the results of others.

For some reason,the mere thought of that left a sour taste in her mouth. She had to be careful about this to not out herself,or hey anyone in trouble or worse.

Regardless,Most of Lucas' night drive goes by without any issue,most of the night though. He catches another loose interaction in that no longer dormant frequency.

He stops the van on the side of the road,nothing but Rolling fields of wetlands around him. Theres cicadas and grasshoppers serenading the moon that night as it peeks from the dark clouds. If you were to stand there for a bit, you'd feel very alone very quickly. Its really unsettling.

Theres a bit of static but not enough to the Point that its a garbled mess, he hears a female voice, has to be early thirties.

《Confirm arrival of shipment,over》

And a male voice answers 《confirming arrival of shipment. ETA a few months,still waiting on the ship. Over》

That same female voice replied 《ten-four.》 Then theres a brief pause,he hears an impatient sigh from the woman and then she adds 《Lets hope the ship doesnt crash or else we're all in big FUCKING trouble. Romeo Mike Julliet out》

He knew the shipment was a big deal but- hearing that Lady sound that impatient for it really Honed in the idea.

Lucas writes down what he heard and closes his Journal,and just as hes about to tuck in for the night, he hears the rustling of Grass and semi quiet footsteps approaching his van.

"Why is nothing ever allowed to be simple" he thinks,getting his gun ready and cocking it as silently as he could. He turns off the lights on his van,making it seem like hes going to sleep, he lays down,hiding himself between the dark shadows of the van as the moon gets covered by the thick stormy clouds.

When the head of his intruder is peeking through the half opened Window of the Man's back door he shoots.

Even if the rifle wasnt suppressed, nobody wouldve heard the shot in the middle of that field Clad road. The body falls and he waits for a shitstorm.

But its quiet.

And then his mind goes to that agent he met,his blood freezes and he tenses up. The Sky gets struck with thunder so loud it might break the heavens in two, the rain pours down on the earth.

Oh no

The doors SLAM Open as he looks at the short figure laying limp on the road. His breath quickens as he steps out and hovers over the body.

Blood gets swept by the rain,the thunder illuminates the fields in brief flashes of white light,like a roar from a celestial lion.

On the side of the road,the green Grass gets stained crimson and as his heart beats to the rythm of a thousand drums,to the Point that it drowns out the storm...

He sighs in relief as he sees its another agent,a guy,pretty short in statue. His eyes catch the guy's CIB badge strapped to his belt --OH THANK GOD

But then the reality sets in, he just Killed a CIB agent.

Oh.

Shit.

Like a bat out of hell,he hops right back into his van and drives the whole night through,soaked in rain and checking his back every four minutes. By sunrise he makes it to Nevada and stays in the most hidden,most inconspicuous cheap motel he can find. He just fucked up. Big. Time.

[fucking-brains-out]

Soo I couldnt help myself and im going to countinue this bc is really interesting

Where we left it? oh right, Damian just observe the fae? meta? that was surrounded by snakes while Danny observe a teeneager with a weirdest smell of ectoplasm, they just observed eachother akwardly but before Damian could say anything the biggest snake (Vesper) he has ever seen tried to attack him, take note in tried because the person that was in ropes put themselfs between them and proceed to scold the GIGANT SNAKE, Damian just watched this person in such awe that he decided that they were worthy pretty

Danny just apologize to Damian, he didnt mind honestly and even if the big snake had attack him he wouldnt hurt it, Danny is just impresed by them and proced to intruduce themselfs and that was the blooming of a beutifull friendship yeah right since that day they started seeing eachother, Damian would bring many things to Danny for example: food made by Alfred (specially his cookies) or would bring books to Danny and they would do other things like Damian would play/take care of Danny snakes with him, and Danny would play with his hair or if Damian has time or has the day off he would stay until night (if Snake castle ever has time change-) and Danny would tell Damian all about the stars or space surrounded by snakes. Vesper was jealouse at first but grow font of Damian bc he takes care of Danny and my Ancients does that poor kid needs it One particular day Damian bring his art supplies and started painting everything of Snake castle but in particular he painted Danny, in many ways he showed Danny his drawing because he was curious abt what he was doing, and was so surprised and heartwarming by the beuty of the drawings that he started crying (blame hormones wtv) Damian was panicking but Danny stopped him saying something like "I never realize that someone would think so highly of me" Damian would simply watch Danny and thinking if he should kill someone but before that he comforts Danny maybe like "You are an exceptional person and if anyone doesnt apreciate him then they are not worthy of you" And they look like loverbirds The snakes meanwhile are like Snake 1: Should we do smt? Vesper: Nah let them realize their feelings for eachother in their time The "time" himslef: JUST KISS ALREDY Anyways back to the Batfamily They started noticing that Damian was acting.... weird nothing bad but weird like, the other day he returned to the manor and his hair was styled in a braid with flowers or that everytime he didnt have patrol or was free he would go somewhere and return with messier (in terms of clothes and hair) with flowers or something like hmm idk A SNAKE were did he get it??? (Danny gifted him one of his snakes, in particular a white one that would always trangle itself to Damian) but most importantly he always returned with an happy expresion They would get in the bottom of this (bc they are noisy bastars /j)

I hope I didnt bored you with this rant but i couldnt get over my head- now somethings i like to share: I think that Vesper can communicate with Danny, how? idk maybe CW did something Is Damian going to learn abt Ellie? maybe but perhaps in the future Wich of the Batfamily would discover Damian secret? YOU DECIDE :D

You all know what time it is ( and body dysmorphia is mentioned a few times just thought I would let you know!)

Snake empress Danny

Ok let’s go, So you all know the drill Danny has to booket it out of amity ( GIW, Bad Fenton) and just for a bit more angst everyone who he loves ( Sam, Tucker, jazz) got caught up in the nasty burger explosion and the GIW hit Dani and as a last minute decision Danny has to grow her in himself and because he has the organs for baby incubation ( trans! Danny let’s go! ) so now we have a heavily traumatized teen who is going to be a teen mom and just loss his whole support system and everything he’s ever known yeah we going angsty today anyway so when Danny gets to the ghost zone he a immediately goes to clockwork to help him so after Danny gets healed up a bit and calm down the best he can right now and

now let’s move the pov for a sec so clockwork can’t really take care of Danny and he needs to fine someone who can that’s when he remembers the little pocket dimension that is a little bit hard to go to if your not looking for it so clockwork brings Danny there and on a cliff top there is a abandoned castle that is overgrown and has trees all around it and a healthy population of snakes that equally watch over the place and keeping outsiders OUT and do not tolerate people who are not a part of the …. Group, pack? Wtf do you call a group of snakes { ok so I just looked up what a group of snakes is called and apparently it’s called a den, pit or nest so I’ll be using that information} den and are very picky about who is in the nest and who isn’t but surprisingly the little danger noodles decide that Danny’s friend shaped and now his part of the nest ( also before I forget to mention there is a big ass snake that is the main protection for the others and the castle itself ) and he’s mostly doing things around with the snakes wrapped limply around his neck and shoulders or his arm and or legs they just like hanging around Danny for the most part

And for the JL side of this well you remember that this place is its own little pocket dimension well it is connected to the JL universe and it sorta feels like your in a Fea area not uncomfortable just different, it has a passage in Gotham City to a overgrown manhole cover so somehow Damien finds this manhole in the garden of Wayne manner and Bruce grounded ( aka benched ) him and Alfred is shopping and nobody’s home so it’s just him and he decides to go into the manhole cover it leeds down to a large tunnel so big it is a surprise nobody has found it yet so Damian walks down it for about 2 to 4 minutes before he sees another cover and has to use a lot of force to open it and as he climbs out he sees that it was overgrown to the point that the vines were wiring the thing shut and as Damien looks around he dust himself off he sees that he is in a large forest almost to large if this place was really Gotham than this would have been cut down years before it got like this so he walks around and than he gets to a lagoon it looks like no pollution got here as well that’s when he sees them a person the person has long white hair that looks to be in some kind of braid with silver chains and their wearing what seem like a bunch of white fabric at first glance but is you really look it seems to be a dress but that’s not what really brings his attention to this person it is the snake that are wrapped limply around them one black one that hangs off their shoulders and looks some what of a necklace and they are holding what seems to be a large black marble bowl ( the bowl is for some of the aquatic plants some birds ended up eating most of the aquatic plant and there are almost none left so he’s getting some from the lagoon) 

And that’s all for the moment. Now on to the details of this bitch!

I’m thinking Danny looks a little bit like this

The reason he wears this is because it’s easier to walk around in ( not to mention the moment the rest of the den realized he was with fetus Dani ( or Eleanor I like that name better for her it gives her a bit of her own personality instead of just Danny clone) the big snake who were going to call Vesper ( you get it ) started to carry him around and while sleeping he would wrap around him to keep him warm ok got a bit off track

And for his hair I’m thinking he lets it grow out a bit and the little danger noodles like to bring him bits and pieces of things they think he might like so he ends up with this

But instead of gold I’m thinking silver

Also just some pics of what I think the castle will look like in some places

Anyway that’s all from me byeeee 

[between-the-clouds-and-me]

now i remember that right after having that one take the knife and kill them hallucination i still... it was like the hallucinations tried to force me to do it, they were shouting at me or talking i have no idea what, aggressive, i could only hear them like through a wall, i couldnt understand it, and then i came out of the hallucination, said they have to go, because im scared of them, and pushed them outside, a short fight happened and then i shut the door. i cant remember what happened after that. but it definitely made me terrified of killing my whole family without wanting to while having no control over my body. i cant remember if i told anyone. if i was so stupid to tell my family that i was seeing such stuff. i dont think so. but with my mouth there is no knowing. now i also remember that they said some stuff later i had done and i said i didnt, because now i think they meant that. or whatever. i was majorly fucked up then because everything was too much. oh, i was so fucked up, i dont even want to remember. i stupidly took something and threatened to kill them, i was even somehow seriously thinking about killing all of us, but i didnt really want to do it. i was so out of control for a while, i just hit people and then i wouldnt stop myself until someone else would stop me. i completely lost it for a while. i was horrible. and it is the same shit, like supposedly did this or that, but im sure i didnt do. what if i just cant remember it? i know it was because of all the getting beaten and threatened to be killed, and the people who were supposed to help me just made more problems and there was so much pressure on me. and that is no excuse for what i did. i always said that, i said sorry and that i have no excuse for it. so i guess at that time i also started to self harm, drank vodka by the bottle and tried to off myself for fun. and that shit got me my definitely wrong borderline diagnose, because i lost control. it was horrible, but also the best time of my life, because i had many friends and many lovers haha everyone was so fucked up everyone fucked up self harming psychos suicide left and right. it was all so horrible, i constantly wanted to try to kill myself, but it was also so good. so yeah, i was a totally irresponsible out of control shithead but still functioning perfectly. until everyone said i need therapy because im trying to off myself, but they hadnt seen anything yet. it got muuuuch worse with therapy. therapy fucked me up. i walked in just because of depression, barely sat down, and they said i got sexually abused and had suppressed memories. i said they are wrong and im out. and then suddenly my head was full of it. so i went back to therapy to ask them to help me to remember correctly and they told me im not allowed to talk about my memories in therapy or with anyone or i will kill myself. they told me all sorts of weird shit i doubt any therapist should say like i should do heroin and be grateful for the abuse and just admit that i liked it and i would immediately be well again. so i started doing the worst shit, trying to learn to like it. it was their stupid meds giving me hallucinations. with all their great therapy i got desperately suicidal, they said i just want to be difficult, and then they dumped me off to the intensive place because they didnt like my idea to off myself in their bathroom. and then i was really drugged up to my hair and once i was out, i tried to kill myself even harder and then i fried my brain with benzos. and that is the whole story. illegal drugs? come on. and my heroin friends refused to share. at that time i overdosed on everything i got my hands on. i never wanted to kill myself. it was a game of lets see what happens if i overdose. and it was fun. i fell asleep knowing that i really had to fight to even draw in one breath and woke up days later perfectly well. a fucking good adventure! it was just fun. who cares who made me cry at first. and some stuff was very disappointing as fun but fucked me so hard afterwards that i thought i was dying in not fun ways.

[voidselfshipp]

Meet the tailor

Cw: smoking,mentions of alcohol,Spy and I have some self steem issues.

Summary: spy takes Lazaro out on a date. To the tailors surprise he learns quite a bit about the masked Man.

->only mutuals allowed to reblog. Part 2 of this.

Lazaro felt himself be nervous. Its been so long since hes been to a date. He also couldnt help but wonder how a date with Spy would work out given his...well,profession.

Yet still,he does clean up. A fine green suit with gold details,cocktail gloves as soft as the best Velvet he could afford,and fine jewelry. He sighs and nodds to himself,looking at his reflection in the mirror.

His Office was quiet,and the changing rooms had a way of keeping the noise out. The night had just begun, the stars only half way out in the Sky.

He nodds to himself and gets out of the stall. As he does he hears a knock on wood,he furrowed his brows and looked to see Spy leaning on the main work desk in the middle of the room.

--Scaring your date seems a little rude,non?-- he explained.-- You look stunning.

Laz smiled-- you look great too. Always do.

He smiled a little too,and he takes something hidden from view until now. A beautiful bouquet of sunflowers,fresh and so bright. The tailors hands go up to his mouth as he gasps.

--theyre beautiful! Thank you!--Laz takes the flowers and grins-- oh just look at them!-- on a whim he kisses the Mans cheek,standing on their toes to reach.

Spy has gotten kisses before. Many and plenty. But this is different..this is genuine. And it makes him blush.

--Its nothing-- he answered,keeping his emotions in check. But he does offer his arm.-- Shall we, then?

--Ah,Yeah. Ill put 'em in water later...-- las murmured that last part. He still had a ton of work to do,he couldnt leave the Office even on a date night. Wraps their hand around his bicep and snuggles closer.

--You plan to spend tonight cooped up in your Office? Really?--He asked.

-- Well,yeah-- Lazaro stopped to lock up the place. The badlands were cool and peaceful that night. No vultures looming,no gunfire to be heard-- I still have so much work to do.

He pockets the key and takes Spy's arm again. The frenchman looks down with dissaproval,his brows furrowed.

--Mon dieu!-- He scoffed-- Does the purple team get no rest?

--Never a day in our lives.--Lazaro couldnt help the laugh.--Like you, I figure.

Spy shook his head,looking at the Man beside him. The tailor was right,the mercs rarely get a break either, tonight was a stretch orchestrated by Miss Pauling.

-- Not tonight-- the spy answered. -- here,After you. -- He opens the passenger door of his car. A fine sportscar,a beautiful red. Shiny and well taken care of.

--So much for not drawing attention to yourself-- Lazaro bit with little intention to harm.

--In some things,I cant help myself.

Laz enters the car,and Spy joins the passenger side son after. As the car speeds down the muddy road,a trail of dirt is left. The lights of the down town approached quickly as both filled the silence.

The frenchman talks about the place theyre going,hoping to give his date some peace. He knew Laz was a skittish person, anxious as a result of their past. If he can ease that pain,he Will.

-- So...I gotta ask-- Lazaro said softly, as both sat within the beautiful restaurant. -- Nobody asks why youre wearing a balaclava?

A murmured choir of costumers and staff mingling over the air of the piano music playing nearby a stage. The lights are soft but pale white,almost Like a pastel rainbow scattered about. Cream walls that portrayed in gold the intricate art noveau details reaching to the glass Sky.

Scratch the balaclava,how did Spy find this place amidst the town?

-- The staff knows well not to ask anymore-- He said as his lips pressed to the wine glass hes drinking-- How is your meal?

--Great actually. These are good empanadas-- Laz munches on the treat with a smile.-- how did you find this place-? -- he made a pause-- Ah no,no,spy stuff.

The frenchman laughed,a dry chuckle. It makes the tailor feel their cheeks warm up. Making a Man of his stature laugh was a treat and an honor 

--If I were to go into detail,ill say that I scouted the area. -- He explained-- It was a lucky find. 

-- Well, I appreciate the clarity-- Laz answered-- that wine any good?

--Hm..could be better. Itll do for tonight.

Spy wouldnt have gone anything below a 5 star. But he knew such luxury would be overwhelming for his date, not being used to this kind of attention. The tailor laughs,its such a Spy thing to say.. but its heart warming.

--You always look good but... Tonight you really outdid yourself. -- The Argentine Man said over their glass of water-- I dont see a wrinkle in your suit,nor a hair outta place.

The compliment raises his ego to critical Mass,but he smiles and nodds-- have you looked in a mirror? Green really is your color.

--Youre so sweet.

Laz had noted that the compliments were genuine. It was quite the change from his usual suaveness- He couldnt believe it was genuine. That he had...an interest in him.

--I merely speak the truth-- He insisted-- You are as fashionable as you are good with a thread and needle. You are beyond any fine art Ive ever seen.

Lazaro smiled,waving Him off. --You dont need to go over the top.. I appreciate the date.

--oh,dont be fooled. I do mean every Word...and this -- He gestured at the table,at both of them-- Is genuine. Lazaro.. I am rendered speechless at your mind,at your Beauty,at your skill and kindness.

--Spy...!

--I am known for deception. For a trail of broken hearts. But not with you-- he takes his hands and brings them close to him over the table--Ill be happy to prove It, if youll have me.

Laz felt his eyes water. He...deserves this. Hes won...this? This Man? How wonderful.

--I trust your words...and your actions. My hearts Open for you,you can try.

Spy didnt fight the smile on his face. Calm and replied-- What a way with words you have,mon soleil-- He kissed his knuckles and smiled.

--hah,thank you. You too.

--I...prepared That speech -- He confessed. A little flustered, and not hiding it now-- You deserved something good,and not a frenchmans mumbling.

-- You? Tripping over your words?

--Its a Force not even I can control,Mr.Blake. -- Hes so flirty.

-- id pay to see that

Spy scoffed-- Not while I live.

--Hah,figured.

The night went on with peaceful chatter. Lazaro kept the questions surface level. Which spy was thankful of, but he did offer some truthful information- How his work as a spy is, how he takes care of his suit and where he got it from (adding the compliment Laz far outmarts any tailor ever).

"You must know my whole life,knowing your work and temperament" the tailor said.

"Si,i know. But I would like to hear it from your own lips" he answered.

And he find the little details. How he likes his tea,what his favorite color is...(green,of course), about his love for Soccer and aerial dancing. How art changed his life,and how much he adores seeing the mercs on a weekly basis.

"Why do you enjoy our..rambunctious personalities" The frenchman asked.

"Because you make my life lighter,interesting. Y'all make me laugh. And I feel appreciated by you guys"

Before they left,Spy excused himself to go to the bathroom,or so laz believed, and he returned with something tucked in his inside pocket.

He wraps an arm around his crush. His hand slides into his pocket and grabs the key to the shop,putting it out of reach from the Man without his knowledge. After getting into the car,Lazaro says:

--You can drop me off at the shop. -- he loosened his hair from the tight bun and shakes off the stiffness of the locks.

--Non, ill drive you home and you Will get some rest. May I have your home adress?

-- spy..

--The adress,Mon soleil-- he insisted.

--Dont you already know it?

Spy gives them a look,and Lazaro sighs. He gives him the adress and he begins to drive,with a smug smile on his half hidden face. He takes his time,the radio playing softly over the silence.

Laz Hummed to a song, an Ella Fitzgerald song. It brings him a thought that he says outloud.

-- I always wanted to work for Nina Simone and Ella Fitzgerald-- He commented-- Make dresses for them. They're my favorite jazz singers.

--Im sure they Will see your work and Will hire you. Your skill speaks for itself

The tailor nudged Spy as he stopped at a spotlight.

--Thanks,spy. 

--Dont mention It-- he said with a visible,small smile.

The appartment building is tall and made of brick. White-ish,concrete windowsills around simple glass panes. Some of it was overgrown but well taken care of by the people living in it.

Spy walks tailor to his floor, it had a view of the city that was beautiful. The building was quite New,the architecture and colors made it clear enough. Cozy browns and warm yellow lighting littered the corridors. Both stand in the lowlight,a brief silence settled within them.

--Its late. Are you sure going to be okay? Its a long drive-- Lazaro said,his arms folded over his chest. Hes between the door and Spy's looming,elegant frame. Hes so scary,there with the soft shadows and the chiseled features of his face.

A Man who made a life in murder,a Man thats known nothing but bloodshed and lies. A Man that with a hand thats held both Knife and gun, gloved to hide his printless hands, now pushes away a wild strand of hair and his voice sweet and raspy says

--Ill be fine, do not worry.

--Really? -- laz insisted-- you can spend the night here. Its no 5 star hotel, but its my home.

He doesnt say whats on his mind. Doubting that he'd be worthy of stepping into this sacred space. It was his home,and that was enough..

--The sofa's Comfy. Given that im tall for a wo--lazaro made a pause-- Well,you know, its Long enough for you. I'd sleep...I'd sleep better knowing that youre here.

How can he say no when he cares so much?

--Very well-- Spy said softly,face burning a little-- Thank you.

--Its nothing,Spy. I can lend you some clothes for sleeping-- Laz turns around,trying to not freak out as he feels Spy's breath on his trapezius. He opens the door and walks in,nodding Him to come along.

Spy sees a home of greens and browns,beautiful plants and no shortage of knick knacks And mementos. Paintings set over free space on the walls,simple furniture. There is a sense of stability,grounded,a Man whose rarely had to change locations so often.

The frenchman shakes off his jacket and closes the door behind him. He folds the red clothing ítem over his arm and walks around, a bit curious.

Indeed,the sofa was big enough for him. Its a deep green,with crocheted blankets and Many pillows.

--Do you want tea? Anything? -- laz asked,unbottoning his own suit jacket.

--Im fine, merci.

Spy knows hes in deep when he sees Lazaro check his pockets with brows furrowed. He patts his pants,vest and jacket...He cant seem to find the key to the shop.

Instead of freaking out, he looks at the frenchman and scowls. Spy smirks all proud and he even dares to hang the key from his pointer finger all teasing like. Lazaro growls and points at him.

--You...ugh!--Tailor wanted to laugh and also throw something at him. -- Sleep with one eye Open,you fuck.

--Hm,scary-- He chuckled,seeing the way his crush blushes a little as he purrs out the words.

The tailor goes to Grab a pair of spare pjs and hands it over,trying to snatch the key in the process to no avail. Spy remained smug,and Laz didnt even question if he slept with the mask or not.

Laz goes to his room,changes and waits a bit for or if Spy is changing. He waits five minutes,making his bed while hes at it. Its the sound of a Window closing and a meow that clues him in that his guest was decent.

--Thank you for letting him in-- Laz approached,ignoring how his chest thrumms as he sees spy with his pjs on. He never admitted to being possesive,but he was biting at the bars of his cage.

--Ive kept my suit away from him. But he is...sweet-- Spy didnt pick up the cat but allowed it to rubb against his leg.

--He is, I promise-- he kneels to call over his cat and scoops it up. As he gets to his feet,he said-- well,im hittin' the hay. Night,spy. See you tomorrow

Lazaro pressed his face to the Mans clavicle. Nuzzling it like a cat would,he breathes out softly in such deep comfort. His body relaxes at the touch. Spy knew he was touchy but.

--Sleep well--He whispered,kissing his cheek and walking away.

The frenchman cant help the blush on his cheeks or the way that his heart skips a beat. For a moment worry settles over him,a feeling of inediquacy he hasnt felt in a while.

The sun shone on him there in the late evening, and now it went to bed to rest. But being so used to the darkness,to the danger ever present, there is something that makes him want to run.

He tries to push the feelings away,he was a grown ass Man, a spy, he couldnt waste time on this. He lays down on the sofa, quite comfortable for what he thought initially. He makes a nest out of the pillows and quite a warm cover out of the Many blankets that smelled of coco and vanilla. The scent would linger in his brain for weeks.

Being a Man as he was,sleep wouldnt come easy. Not with all the memories of his past- But thats not what bothers him now. In fact he hasnt been bothered by this since he was a teen boy.

Hes so close to the Man he desires, probably asleep right now. He could ask,though no elegant words would find him, if he could spend the night in his bed- Maybe the sofa was unconfortable ,But he wasnt a Man that made excused,so that wouldnt work.

Would it be too much to ask if he just spent the night with them? To be able to hold them and nothing more. To Keep them safe.

Maybe its better to stay where he is,near the door. But what happens if theres a break in at Laz's room? Did his Window have a Fire escape somebody could climb up to?

An hour slips by him,looking at the ceiling. Then two.

Its at the two and a half hour Mark that he feels something on his chest. A purring Mass that makes his body calm at the vibrations. He looks down to see Azrael, in all his scarred glory,loafing on him.

--Hm,bonjour-- he whispered,allowing himself a moment to pet the feline-- your master must be asleep by now,I imagine.

The cat didnt answer but leaned into his touch with gusto. It makes him chuckle.

--Keep him safe for me,go-- He shooed the cat but Azrael didnt move an inch-- Or not, I suppose. -- he sighed-- there is no proper way to ask him...-- was he talking to the cat or himself?-- But I cant slip into a Mans bed like that.

Sleep was starting to take over. Battle fatigue piling up. Now,his voice was low as a whisper but still audible to himself and the feline.

--You have it easy,my furred Friend-- He closed his eyes-- too easy. Be fed,be pet, be held and taken everywhere and do as you please. Mon dieu.

As unconciense took him,the frenchman left his hand on the animals back, and azrael doesnt seem to mind as he snuggles up to the Man. A light slumber,even now he cannot shake the habit,but restful nontheless

Its a few hours to sunrise,however,that the outside noise wakes him. He tries to go back to sleep but its all for naught. He sighs and scoops up the cat on his chest,and walks up to the Window to see a few cars come here and there as some workers had an earlier start than others

He sees a patrol car,an obnoxiousoy loud garbage truck,and a few drunk Friends not caring for their volume. The frenchman growls and and pets the feline as comfort for his simmering anger.

To spare himself of this bullshit,he goes to check on Laz.

In his bed the tailor laid. A deep sleep overtook him as he laid on his side- brown and gold hair a mess of tangled roots on the black pillow. His breath shallow and calm.

Spy softens at the sight, almost not noticing that this room wasnt as noisy as the others. He sets Azrael on the bed and he pulls the covers over the Mans shoulder. His hand pushed away the hairs and admires the Beauty of the Angel before him.

What has he done to earn this? This lovely human that wants to care for him? That offers his home so willingly and falls asleep knowing theres a Man with murder written all over him.

The moment stretches into a minute,and he then takes his leave. But as his foot passes the door,he hears laz say

--Spy?..Whats the matter?

--nothing you should be worried about-- Spy answered,endeared by the drowsy tone of his crush-- I..wanted to make sure youre okay.

--Hm... okay-- he lays on his other side and curls up 

Azrael hops from the bed to nuzzle the frenchmans legs. He presses his head to his calf to nudge him into the bedroom. Maybe this cat was way too Smart.

--Actually,Laz,if you dont mind-- he said-- The livingroom is..quite noisy.

--Oh,right-- the tailor didnt even bother to Open his eyes-- come in, it should fit you.

...it was that easy?

Quite honestly, a little surprised he gets into the warm bed. There in the darkness, he feels Laz get closer. And their voice gentle as a whisper asks him-- Want to cuddle?

The tailor must have heard his slight nodd because he cuddles up to him with ease and his warm body presses to his. Fine, chiseled arms wrap around his waist and Lazaros face nuzzled his chest.

Spy takes a second to answer,but he does hug back and puts his head ontop of theirs. He smiles a little,maybe even flustered, and closes his eyes. Suddenly the light sleep becomes deeper,calmer,safer.

Its the first time in a while he has a good rest. Nevermind a good morning- He wakes up early,with no rush, no need to get ready for battle or much else really. His tired eyes looks down at Lazaro,craddled in his arms. He feels a smile tug against the corner of his lips at the sight.

The tailor snored softly, breaths even and shallow. Spy has never seen something so cute before. Something so precious.

--Ill be back, mon soleil--He whispered,squeezing Him Gently one more time before he slips off the bed and goes to make breakfast.

Lazaro wakes up with breakfast in bed,a gesture that had him blushing as soon as he woke up. He thanked his companion and gave him a kiss on the cheek. Spy was kind enough to speak spanish with him as he wakes up, though he does get lost with some of the slang- But Laz is happy to teach him.

As both get ready to return to Teufort,the tailor gets a call. He answers,dressed in only pants and a button up,fluffy slippers still on. Spy is across from him,fixing his tie.. seemingly waiting for something.

He sees the moment Lazaro hears the words hes been yearning years to hear. His eyes widen and he almost drops the phone. He replied a quick thank you and an acceptance to the Man on the other side of the phone and he hangs up.

-- What?-- the frenchman asked as he could see the gears turning in his crush's head. Its amusing.

--Spy...-- Laz began-- Can...you tell me how the manager of Ella Fitzgerald got my number?

The frenchman Walked up to his friend and shrugged.

--I Mightve also chosen that restaurant for other reasons beside wanting to treat you right 

Lazaro jumps at him and hugs him tight to the battle cry of -- I love you so much!

His embrace is fierce and tight. As warm as the sun itself and loving as cupids arrow. The tailor cant help the laugh and the Many thank yous that spill past his lips. It takes the frenchman a second to answer, but he hugs back

Its the first time in so Long that hes been told I love you so genuienly.

--Youre the best-!

--Its- its nothing

--shush!

Lazaro nuzzled his chest and smiles.

--We should get ready for work-- he tries not to stutter as his gloved hand messes with laz's hair. He enjoys it so much,how nice it is to tangle his fingers in those brown and gold locks.

--in a minute-- the other Man answered,cuddling closer and squeezing his waist. His eyes closed and a Placid smile on his lips.

Before both do leave for work,all dressed up and ready,Lazaro gently stops Spy as hes about to Open the door. He is about to ask if he needs something before he feels a kiss on his mouth. A soft,genuine kiss that Lazaro had to srand on the tip of his toes to give

Spy thought he knew what he was getting into when he asked Lazaro out. But he was wrong- He wasnt expecting how much this kiss would affect him.

He earnt this kiss. He earnt the gentleness,the deep love and appreciation. Soft as silk, measured and Stitched to perfection for him. There was no expectation,no need for anything else but for him to enjoy the moment as much as Lazaro was.

Of course he returns the gesture,wrapping his arms around his waist and bringing him as close as he could. His demeanor is nothing short of soft, he doesnt pull any tricks,he doesnt do anything but kiss back. There is nothing to perform here,only receive.

--Ah,i see-- Spy snickered.-- merci. -- he kissed their forehead and Gently took their hand,guiding Him out of the appartment with Azrael following close behind.

At teufort,Spy and Lazaro say their goodbyes- even the cat gets a little pet as a goodbye,and both go their separate ways. Sniper has seen from his nest that Spy wasnt alone in his car and the rumor got around the base much to the frenchman's chagrin.

Everyone that was interested in tailor,promptly gave the backstabbing weasel a piece of their mind and Many questions. Engie and Medic most of all,both were on a rampage that day.

Did spy care? Fuck no. He locked himself in his smoking room and happily let the angry mob outside do whatever. He was conten and...happy.

[hekkoto]

Happy new year and some updates :>

Hi guys! First, I wish you the best in this new year! I hope you had great Christmas and New Year, I also hope 2023 wasnt so bad for you hah So, as you know 2023 was super awful for me. Only reason I wont call it 'the worst' is fact I had a lot of support from my family and friends. But yeah, beside graduating college with bachelor's degree in Graphics everything was awful and failure. My health got awful, I was in unbearable pain and my mental health got worse too. Im slowly getting better, there are still some days which are living hell but its not nonstop pain and suffering anymore lolz Im still getting some shit diagnosed so there are still some issues. But last year showed me to focus both on my dreams and what is possible with my health and kind of personality I have. I decided to fully focus on creating content for internet as its one of few possibilities I have which both fullfils my special needs and is something I want. Obviously cause of my health issues I couldnt do much last year but I hope this year will be better ;) I hope to be fully back rn, Im gonna post missing requests and comms in upcoming days, for Patreon prints - yes, I failed with December too but I decided I gonna just make them this month and people who supported me in November and December will get them. You will just get nice thicc mail this month hahah >XD I hope to post photo of Patreon print for January on 8th. Btw, I moved my gore challenge - Gorenuary its called now haha and its for both January and February ;p one of lessons I got last year is that I need to fit to my body needs and to give myself more time. Perhaps later when I will go back to regular creating I will be able to draw ands post everyday but not now ;p I hope to actually start posting regularly on my YT too, I feel like this can be good thing I could do and I think it will work out ;) I wanna say already, Im unable to niche as Im someone who wanna do EVERYTHING >XD so yeah, expect art stuff, gaming and some more chill vlogs~ and I hope to start livestreaming :> I will make video + post on Patreon about my thoughts about 2023 and goals for 2024, stay tuned :> I really missed you guys <3 and Im super grateful for your support <3 btw, as only my husband makes money rn I made fundraising, if you wanna help here it is: https://pomagam.pl/nhg96m [its polish site but its aviable to international support and there is text both in polish and english. I gonna update how my recovery and such is going very soon too] My parents support me rn financially when it comes to health expenses, I also borrowed money for new graphic card [my GTX 1060 is outdated :/ bruh, its only 10 years old >XD] so I hope to buy new one very soon. I gonna pay them monthly those money back but I actually need this shit to work ;p Im super super grateful for all the support and patience you gave me last months <3 I went to Hell and back so I have a lot of stuff to talk about and many arts to share <3 I love ya <3

[icantgetnosatisfaction]

16th

am l in denail?

I dont know why l written this. I just did cuz it came to my mind.

I talk to many people, too many. l feel like it is jjust taking too much time and effort but it makes me not to think of my oqn stuff. I am not even saying problems cuz it is not neccessarily should called problems. lt is anything related to me and my future and my past, so pretty much everything yeah.

yesterday was a beautiful tiring day, I had moments that l believe l am going to remember for a long time or for the rest of the my life.

Idk if you can relate however yk sometimes when l see something or hear something I can feel -I can say- lf ı am gonna remember that for a long time or not, or it is gonna be something important or not. Or maybe it is just selective perception.

writing helps, it does.

I should go to sleep early today or earlier than usual.

I should not seek for any person to love or to care, nothing intimate.

I dont desire that, I just want to postpone, I know myself. I know you. I know us. Dont be a coward. Dont distract yourself to avoid eventuality. You know that you are not supposed please yourself regularly cuz all the other member of your community do. They just live cuz their urges are dominant over them but you live, you live for...

indeed what do you live for? or what do you do for the thing you life for? Dont be so scared to not to reply. oh u are not scared? You just dont know? you dont know the damn reason why you are still alive? -still?-. Yeah well he was the reason at first but now what? You got use to that and now u cant just give it up? you are frightened? ,

Well, yes, we do want change, we want the big picture. we want something different. Yet, you keep liiving like others do. Do you get the meaning of that?

it is because ı ate shitty dessert and now my body is pretty unhappy to digest. I really dont understand why I ate that sweet? I dont even like sweet but I kept ate it for some reason

I was not supposed to

I wasnt

I wanted to vomit badly but couldnt do.

I think most of us, people, spend their lives like this. pretty much like this.

They sit in front of the TV. Watch a dump TV show while eating their sweet with a class of tea/coffee. They feel full and they dont really enjoy that TV show either. But they keep eating and watching. Sweet doesnt even taste that good but they eat it, they see the TV too. In the mean while, deep down, they know this isnt the way it should go. They feel the guilt and they know they will regret that moment later. But they keep sitting in front of that TV. Maybe they want unconsciously someone else to be involved and stop these primitive acts of theirs. It is not going to happen, unless they are 3yo or in a rehabilitation center.

gonna draw that view tomorrow

some moments, they stay with you, for a long time

Even you dont know the reason

lastly, what we write is dangerous. even far more dangerous than what we see or read. although l still dont know whether talking or writing is more dangerous than the other.

[under-the-cherrytree]

A Proud Artists Work❣︎

Wally Darling x reader

Summary: looking at Wally’s art work, you feel slightly discouraged about your own. However, Wally quickly finds a way to cheer you up!

Warnings: starts off fluffy but ends a bit yandere-ish

A/n: I HAD TO WRITE A WALLY DARLING SMALL FIC I COULDNT HELP MYSELF!! I LOVE THIS MAN

Well i do hope all the welcome home fans like this!! Enjoy<3

You felt the wind brush up against your cheek as you looked down at your sketchbook in your hand. Your grip on it tightened as you looked around. The neighborhood was surprisingly calming this afternoon. Normally the neighbors would be outside playing but today they didn’t seem to come out of their homes. You watched as the leaves fell from the tree you were sitting under. You leaned up against the wood, taking a breath in.

You turned your head to look at your boyfriend, Wally Darling. He stared at his canvas intensely, focused on every paint stroke he made. His canvas faced you so you couldn’t see what he was painting. He wouldn’t allow you to see what he was creating just yet.

You admired him for his artwork. He was so diligent and his art was breath taking. You wished you were able to draw and paint like he did.

“Darling?” Wally looked over to you, noticing your dull expression. “What’s the matter?”

You sat up, looking away for him and down to the blank paper in your lap.

“Do you really think I’m a good artist?” You asked. He complimented things you have drawn before but a part of you felt like it was forced. Did he just compliment you out of pity?

Wally’s smile dropped slightly as he placed his paintbrush down. You looked up at him as he walked over to you and sat on the grass.

“Of course I do. Why would you question that?” He looked at your sketchbook, noticing it was empty.

“I can’t think of anything impressive to draw”

“Anything you draw will be impressive!” He grabbed a pencil out of pocket “Let’s draw something together!” He leaned in closer to you, starting to sketch an apple on the upper right corner of the paper. You just watched his hand move as he finished up the stem. He just spent a few seconds an apple and it looks amazing. What could you possible draw to impress him?

“Come on! What do you want to draw?” He looked to you. “Draw anything that comes to mind”

You looked up for a moment, trying to get some inspiration. You suddenly noticed a pretty pink flower growing in the grass.

“A flower?” You turned to him.

“Draw it!” He encouraged you. You gripped your pencil as you drew a circle for the base and petals around it.

“It looks great!” He began to add some grass around the flower “You should add a sun” You nodded and smiled softly. This felt nice.

An hour had passed and you two laid on the grass, doodling on the now full page. You two drew different things in nature, different animals, the neighbors, and even Home. You laughed softly seeing how the page was now full with the random doodles from you and your boyfriend.

You felt your cheeks heat up. Wally always knew how to make you feel better when you needed it.

“See, now that wasn’t so hard, was it~?” He gave you a grin “The page is full now”

“Yeah it is” You leaned on his shoulder “Thank you, Wally”

“Anything for you, darling”

Suddenly realization took over you and you remembered there was somewhere you needed to be.

“Oh I have to go!” You stood up, brushing your clothes off “I promised Sally I would meet her at her house to practice a play with her!” You quickly picked up your things, shoving them in your bag.

“Well you better run off, don’t want to leave her waiting” He stood up, holding his hands behind his back.

“See you later!” You waved at him and he blew you a kiss goodbye. He began to pack up his stuff knowing it was time for him to go home too. He carefully picked up the panting he was painting earlier, not wanting to ruin his work. He chuckled softly as he walked back to Home. Home opened the door for him, seeing that Wally’s hands were full.

“Thank you, Home” The puppet placed his paint supplies on the ground. The house squeaked as a way of saying you’re welcome.

“I drew another painting of them…~” He looked down at the colorful canvas. It looked exactly like you. You were leaning up against the tree you two were at, holding your sketchbook. He painted exactly what you looked like in the moment.

He walked down the halls, entering a room of Home. The room was filled with painting of you. Just painting of you.

Each painting you were doing normal activities, not even noticing that a certain painter was using you as his muse.

“This piece would look perfect… here” He hung the painting on an empty spot on the wall. “I like it. What do you think Home?” The house squeaked again.

“Maybe one day I can show them these paintings. I would love to see their reaction. After all, why shouldn’t an artist be proud of their work?”

[dragonskulls]

ok but what if instead of being a bobots they were a kitty cats 🤯

ok so um. yeah. basically tfp warrior cats au of an au (im changing events too here fuck canon; as well as some characterizations). i'll designing the other characters too and maybe give bits of the story im giving it. giggles. Also i haven't read warriors in years i only got to half of the second arc lmao

but anyways this is still on early construction but what i have is that there was this massive as shit colony of cats living in a huge ass territory and idk there was something like the inequality in canon (i haven't read the Aligned books so im making this up on the fly) and yadda yadda war happens tons of cats leave even more die and the territories get ravaged, probably there was a wildfire that was the final nail on the coffin for the old territories (cybertron). The main story would take place in a run down abandoned city where resources are very scarce (which would be earth, also humans sorta disappear here lol) where the brightsparks (autobots) are hiding from the shatterclaws (decepticons) while looking for ways to restore the old territories as well as a stronger connection with Goldenspark (primus) and instead of tech maybe its like,,, starclan magic or something lmao. the humans are mini rats here and are in danger from the shatterclaws just like, killing them or something idk (also also the humans here are NOT up to scale they'd be a bit smaller compared to the drawings here). so some quick stuff:

-shriekingsky is starscream (i wouldve kept the original name but it wouldve ended up being Starstar) who's the traitorous deputy of the shatteredclaws

-shatteredstar is megatron. no one likes him. he made a pact with the devil (unicron for whom i have yet to come up with a name) in an attempt to use the dead souls in the dark forest as pawns for his faction or something and also to get the nine lives (but evil and fucked up)

-crimsonstrike is knockout. medic of the shatteredclaws and while being on their side isn't particularly loyal to shatteredstar. he and shriekingsky were the equivalent of highschool mean girls as apprentices bc i thought that would be funny

-brokenstone is breakdown. originally part of the brightsparks, but something something happened that made him not really trust them anymore, that plus probably crimsonstrike accidentally helping him out caused him to switch sides

-owlglare is ratchet. goofy ass eyebrows. really REALLY wants to restore the old territories, which causes some slight conflict with the others who also want to protect the city (bc of the mice as well as other rogue cats i dont know yet)

-sparkstar is optimus. god damn i struggled so bad with his design. you know him.

-bumblepaw is bumblebee i couldnt bring myself to change his name. he's a baby sparkstar found in the trash. like in canon he wants to get his warrior name back home so hes keeping the apprentice one for now

-the rats the humans. most of the population dont know about the cats and if they did they'd probably panic a whole lot. these had me looking up rat color morphs