#yongbok angst

[minhosbitterriver]

──── * ˚ ✦ THE LAST STRAW ( stray kids )

❛ After a final argument with your toxic, manipulative mother over your irresponsible younger brother, you decide to cut ties with your family, only to be overwhelmed by doubt and panic until your supportive boyfriend, Felix, reassures you that choosing yourself was the right decision.

𝐥𝐞𝐞 𝐟𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐱 + gender neutral reader ೯ ( 𝐨𝐧𝐞-𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐭 )

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 3.5k 𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞: 14 mins

꒰ 💌 ꒱ ミ Here's a wonderful request made by @lixies-favorite-cookie! I hope you guys enjoy, reblogs and feedback are much appreciated! Requests are currently open! ── ( 𝐥𝐢𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐫𝐲 )

𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: Non-Idol AU, emotional abuse, family conflict, mommy issues, mental health struggles, parental neglect, parental favoritism, depression and self-worth issues, let me know if I missed anything!

( 𝐠𝐮𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬 ) ( 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 & 𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬 ) ( 𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 ) ( 𝐭𝐢𝐩 𝐣𝐚𝐫 )

The kitchen feels like a war zone, the air thick with unsaid accusations and the sharp remnants of long-festered wounds. Your mother stands at the sink, her back rigid and unforgiving, hands submerged in soapy water as she scrubs a dish with a ferocity that speaks louder than words. Each stroke of her hand seems to scrape away at the silence, but instead of clarity, it only stirs the storm between you. You can almost see the tension rippling off her like waves of heat from a furnace, feeding the blaze that has been building in your chest, threatening to consume you.

“So, that’s it?” you ask, your voice taut, straining against the anger simmering just below the surface. “You’re really going to ignore everything I’ve said and expect me to drop everything—again—to drive him around?” There’s a tremor in your tone, a plea for acknowledgment masked by the bitterness of your words. But she doesn’t turn to face you. Instead, she sighs, a heavy, exaggerated breath that fills the room with disdain, as if you are the one being irrational, ungrateful.

“He doesn’t have anyone else,” she replies, her voice dripping with exasperation, as if you should already know this. “And it’s not like it’s a big deal—you’re already out and about. What’s a little detour to help your brother?”

Her words hit you like a slap across the face, stinging and familiar. “A little detour?” you echo, a disbelieving laugh slipping out, sharp and brittle. “Mom, I have a job. I have classes. I’m barely keeping up as it is. But sure, let’s add ‘chauffeur for the man-child’ to my list of responsibilities.”

At this, she finally turns, her face set in that hardened expression you know so well—eyes narrowed, lips pulled into a thin, unforgiving line. “Don’t talk about him like that,” she snaps, her voice a low warning. “He’s your brother. He’s just going through a rough time.”

A bitter, exhausted laugh escapes your lips, and you can feel the years of buried frustration rising up, threatening to overflow. "A rough time?" you repeat, your voice growing louder, each word carrying the weight of all the grievances you’ve kept bottled up for so long. “He’s been ‘going through a rough time’ for the last five years! And every single time he screws up, you’re right there, wiping his slate clean, making excuses for him. He never has to face the consequences of anything, and somehow, I’m always the one left to pick up the pieces!”

Your voice cracks, and the room seems to tremble with the force of your words. All the times you’ve been overlooked, all the sacrifices you’ve made without a second thought, all the nights spent wondering why you were never enough—everything comes crashing down in this moment. You stand there, breathless, waiting for something, anything, that resembles an acknowledgment of what you’ve endured.

But she doesn’t see it. She doesn’t hear it. She doesn’t even flinch. And that, more than anything, is what breaks you.

"That's not true," your mother snaps, her voice cutting through the air like the crack of a whip, cold and biting. "You don’t know what he’s going through. You’ve always been so hard on him, never understanding." Her words hang in the air, thick with accusation, and you feel a familiar frustration beginning to coil tightly in your chest.

You scoff, the sound escaping before you can stop it, disbelief etched across your face. "Understanding?" you fire back, voice laced with incredulity. "You mean like how you’re 'understanding' when he crashes his car because he was out partying, and you expect me to drop everything, put my entire life and future on hold, to make up for it? Or how you’re 'understanding' when he blows all his money on God knows what, and I’m the one who has to lend him my hard-earned cash so he can pay his rent? You’ve always been ‘understanding’ of him, but when have you ever been ‘understanding’ of me?"

For a moment, the room falls silent, heavy with the weight of everything that has been left unsaid for far too long. Your mother’s eyes flash dangerously, a mix of anger and frustration, a glare that once would have made you swallow your words, scramble to backtrack and apologize. But not today. Today, the exhaustion has settled too deeply in your bones, mingling with the anger that has simmered for years, bubbling to the surface.

"You think I don’t care about you?" she spits out, her voice rising, each word sharp and defensive. "I’ve done everything for you! You grew up with food on the table and a roof over your head. You have a job now, you’re in college, you have everything going for you. Do you think that just happened by itself?"

Her audacity stings, her self-righteousness fanning the flames inside you. Every vein feels like it’s on fire, adrenaline surging through your body. “No,” you say, voice trembling but strong, each word pushed out with a force that surprises even you. “Don’t you dare take credit for what little good I have in my life. Don’t you dare. Everything I have going for me is because I worked for it. I was the one who graduated as valedictorian in high school—not you, not him. I worked my ass off to get into college, scrapping for every scholarship I could find so I wouldn’t have to drown in debt later. I found my own place to live, found a job so I could pay my own bills, held myself together when everything around me was falling apart.”

Your words pour out like a flood, each one more bitter than the last. You can see her eyes narrowing, her lips tightening, but it only pushes you to keep going. “But you? Sure, you fed me, you put a roof over my head—like the law says you should. But you only ever noticed me when I was useful to him, when I made things easier for your golden child."

The silence that follows is deafening, filled with the echoes of things that have finally been said, the raw truth laid bare between you. The tension in the room is electric, the weight of years of imbalance, neglect, and misplaced loyalty pressing down on your shoulders. But for the first time, you feel something shift inside you—a spark of liberation, a sense that perhaps, just perhaps, you’ve finally stepped out of the shadow that has loomed over you for so long.

"You're being so selfish," she spits, her voice trembling with a barely controlled fury that makes the walls tremble. The dishes slip from her hands, clattering into the sink with a loud clank as she whirls around to face you. Her eyes are wild, nearly bulging out of her head, her face flushed with indignation. "You have no idea what it's like to be a parent, to have to make these kinds of decisions." The venom in her words seeps into the air, choking you with its bitterness.

But you don’t flinch. Your fists curl even tighter at your sides, nails digging into your palms as you stand your ground, locking eyes with her. "I'm selfish?" A bitter laugh escapes you, sharp and brittle, and you can feel the hot sting of unshed tears pricking at the corners of your eyes. "Do you even hear yourself? You've spent years bending over backwards to coddle him, to fix every single one of his messes. And every time, it's me who gets caught in the crossfire. It's always me who’s expected to be the 'responsible one.' And what do I get for it? Nothing. Not a thank you, not a 'good job,' not even a fraction of the support and understanding you so eagerly throw at him."

Your mother’s hand slams down on the counter with a thunderous bang, making you jump. Her face is a twisted mask of rage and frustration. "You've always had a chip on your shoulder about him," she sneers, her tone dripping with condescension, as if speaking to a petulant child. "Maybe if you weren't so jealous—"

"Don't even start." You cut her off, your voice cracking under the weight of everything you’ve kept bottled up for so long. "I'm not jealous, Mom. I'm tired. I'm tired of being the one who has to sacrifice everything while he coasts through life, knowing you’ll always be there to bail him out. I'm tired of you making me feel like I’m never enough, like I’m only here to clean up his messes and make things easier for him."

The air thickens, a suffocating silence falling between you. Your mother’s face hardens, her eyes narrowing into icy slits. "If you don't like it, then maybe you should just leave," she says, her words cutting through the tension like a knife. "You're an adult now, aren’t you? You can make your own choices."

Her words hang in the air, daring you to speak, to react. For a moment, you’re stunned, the breath catching in your throat. Then, softly, like a truth you've kept buried, you say, "Maybe I should." The words taste like freedom on your tongue, a release from years of guilt and fear. "Because I can’t keep doing this. I can’t keep letting you use me to prop him up while you tear me down. I deserve better than this."

For a fleeting moment, something flickers in her eyes—something almost vulnerable, almost human. But it vanishes as quickly as it came, replaced by the same cold indifference that has always been there. "Fine. Do what you want," she says dismissively, her tone devoid of emotion. "But don’t come crying to me when you realize you can’t handle the world I’ve protected you from."

A humorless laugh bubbles up in your throat, but you swallow it down, taking a deep breath instead. You feel the weight of years of resentment, of pain and unspoken truths, settling into place. "I won't," you reply, voice steady as a stone. "Because I've been handling the world all my life. You never protected me from it—you only ever protected your golden child. And I’m done."

You turn away, leaving her standing there, leaving behind the suffocating grip of a mother who never truly saw you. You walk out of the kitchen, out of the house that never felt like a home, and with each step, the air feels a little lighter, the world outside a little more open. For the first time, you feel the distant, hopeful glimmer of something new—something that belongs to you, and you alone.

You sit in the driver’s seat, fingers clenched around the steering wheel with a grip so tight that your knuckles have turned ghostly white. Each breath you take is shallow and ragged, barely filling your lungs. Your heart hammers in your chest, erratic and wild, a drumbeat of panic. The weight of the argument you just had with your mother crashes over you like an unrelenting wave, cold and suffocating. It presses down on you with a force that makes you feel as if you’re drowning, gasping for air but finding none.

Your eyes remain fixed on the house in front of you—your childhood home, a place that should have held comfort and warmth but instead feels like a prison. Each window, each door, every familiar detail seems to glare back at you like a hundred judgmental eyes, watching, waiting. This is where you learned the rules of a game you never asked to play. A place where love was conditional, tethered to sacrifice and silence. And now, it’s a place you’ve walked away from—perhaps for good.

Your vision blurs with unshed tears, and you let out a shaky breath that comes out more like a sob than you intended. You blink rapidly, trying to clear the sting from your eyes, but it’s useless. You can’t stay here, not in front of this house where the walls seem to whisper accusations, where every step closer feels like sinking deeper into quicksand. You can’t risk your mother storming out with that familiar fire in her eyes, her voice like a vice, twisting your emotions to suit her will.

With trembling hands, you fumble for your phone, fingers unsteady as they swipe through your contacts. You need an anchor, something to steady you before you’re pulled under by the crushing weight of it all. You find his name—Felix. Your thumb hovers for a moment, then presses the call button. You raise the phone to your ear, the screen blurring with tears as you pull out of the driveway. You don’t have a destination in mind; you just need to be moving, to put distance between you and that house.

The line rings once, twice, and with each unanswered ring, the panic coils tighter in your chest, rising into your throat like bile. What if he doesn’t pick up? What if he’s busy? What if you’re left alone with the noise in your head? But then—

"Hey, sunshine," his voice breaks through, warm and steady, like the first rays of dawn piercing through the darkest night. His tone is so familiar, so safe. "You okay? I'm just—"

You don’t let him finish. Your voice cracks as you speak, holding back the sob that threatens to spill over. "Felix...I—I did it. I told her...I told her that I'm done. I can't...I can't believe that I actually did it." The words rush out of you in a breathless stream, a confession that feels both terrifying and freeing.

There’s a pause on the other end, a silence that feels heavy with the weight of his understanding. You can almost hear him processing your words, feel the concern threading through the line. When he finally speaks, his voice is soft, careful. "You talked to her?" he asks, his tone gentle yet laced with worry. "What happened?"

His question hangs in the air, pulling at your heartstrings, inviting you to pour out the torrent of emotions swirling inside you. And for the first time in what feels like forever, you feel like you can breathe, even if just a little, knowing that someone is there to catch you as you fall.

You squeeze your eyes shut for a moment, a futile attempt to push back the tears that threaten to spill over. Your heart is pounding in your chest, a heavy, uneven rhythm that matches the chaos in your mind. When you open your eyes again, you force yourself to focus on the road, blinking rapidly to clear the blurriness from your vision. You suck in a shaky breath, trying to steady yourself, to find some semblance of calm amidst the storm raging inside you.  

"It was about my man-child of a brother again," you start, your voice wavering as you speak. Each word feels like a shard of glass, cutting through the tightness in your throat. "She wanted me to...to fucking drop everything and take care of his mess again. He crashed the damn car, and she’s not even mad at him. She was actually more pissed at me for not wanting to drive him everywhere." The bitterness in your tone is unmistakable, tinged with a raw edge of frustration that’s been simmering for far too long. "And I just...I couldn’t take it anymore, Lix. I told her I’m done. I told her I wasn’t coming back."  

Your breath hitches, and a sob finally breaks free, raw and unrestrained, as you come to a stop at a red light. The tears you've been holding back spill over, warm and unwelcome, streaking down your cheeks. "But what if I made a mistake? What if I’m wrong?" you choke out, the words heavy with doubt and fear. "I mean, they are my family at the end of the day, and I’m nothing without them. What if I...what if I shouldn’t have done this?"  

On the other end of the line, you hear a soft rustling, a familiar sound that brings a small measure of comfort. You know he’s moving, pacing like he always does when he’s worried. Felix’s voice comes through, steady and gentle, like a lifeline. "Hey, hey, take a breath for me, hmm?" he murmurs, his tone soothing. "Just breathe. In and out, yeah? I’m right here."  

You try to follow his instructions as you ease off the brake, the traffic lights changing to green. You take a deep breath in, filling your lungs, and then let it out, but the exhale is shaky, faltering, as if your body is resisting the calm he’s trying to instill. The tears keep flowing, unchecked, but his voice remains a steady anchor amidst the turbulent sea of your emotions.  

"You did the right thing, love," he continues, his voice firm with conviction—a conviction you desperately need to hear right now. "You’ve been dealing with their bullshit for so long. Too long. You deserve to let it go. You deserve to be free of it all."  

Without much thought, you turn the car to the right, feeling the pull of his reassurance guiding you, even if you’re not quite sure where you’re going. "But what if...what if Mom’s right?" you whisper, your voice trembling with uncertainty. "What if I am being selfish? I just...I grew up with this rule in my head that family always helps family, so what if I’m being a shitty person by refusing?"  

For a moment, there’s a pause, a breath of silence that hangs in the air, heavy with all the questions and fears you can’t quite voice. Felix’s next words are gentle, but they cut through that fog with a clarity that brings you back from the edge. "You’re not selfish," he says quietly but firmly. "Sometimes, family isn't about blood; it’s about who stands by you, who sees you. And you’ve been standing on your own for a long time. It’s okay to want more than just survival."  

Tears spill down your cheeks, hot and unrelenting, blurring your vision as they cascade over your skin. You press the heel of your hand against your eyes, trying to stem the flow, but it’s like trying to dam a river with a single stone—futile. The weight of everything, the argument, the years of silent endurance, crashes over you in waves, threatening to pull you under. With a shaky breath, you pull onto the side of the road, the tires crunching over gravel, and the car comes to a halt. 

"I’m scared, Lix," you confess, your voice breaking, small and fragile as it escapes you. "I’m scared that I’ll regret this." The words hang in the air, and for a moment, it feels like the world is holding its breath with you. Your heart is a clenched fist in your chest, squeezing tighter with each passing second. 

Then, his voice breaks through the silence—a warm, comforting presence that feels like a soft embrace, wrapping around you when you need it most. "You won’t," he says, his tone gentle yet firm, a soothing balm for your frayed nerves. "You know why, huh? Because you’re finally choosing yourself. And that’s not something to regret, not ever. Love, I’m not trying to say it’ll be easy from now on, but you deserve to be happy. You deserve to be loved for who you are, not for what you can do for someone else."

A shaky breath escapes your lips, and the tightness in your chest starts to loosen, if only a little. His words are like a lifeline, grounding you, pulling you back from the edge of your doubts. Deep down, beneath the fear and the uncertainty, you know he’s right. You’ve carried this weight for so long that it feels strange to think of setting it down. But his words are a steady anchor, keeping you from drifting away. 

"Can I come over?" you ask, your voice almost a whisper, raw and vulnerable. "I don’t... I don’t want to be alone right now." The admission feels like exposing a wound, but with Felix, it’s okay. It’s always been okay.

There isn’t a moment of hesitation before he responds, his voice filled with that unwavering reassurance you’ve come to rely on. "Of course. I’m not home right now, but I was already on my way from class, so I’ll meet you there, okay? Just stay on the phone with me until I get there. We’ll figure everything out together."  

You nod, even though he can’t see you, feeling a small, tired smile tug at the corners of your lips. There’s still a lingering ache in your heart, but it’s softer now, more manageable. "Thank you, babe," you whisper, the words heavy with gratitude and love. 

"Always," he murmurs back, his voice a soft promise that settles deep within you. "Just keep breathing, sunshine. I’ve got you. I always will."

With his voice still in your ear, you restart the car, feeling his presence as a guiding light through the darkness that’s clouded your path for so long. The road stretches out before you, uncertain and unfamiliar, but with Felix by your side—even if only through the phone—it doesn’t seem quite so daunting. 

For the first time in what feels like years, there’s a flicker of something warm blooming in your chest. Hope. Fragile, tentative, but undeniably there. And for now, that’s enough.

꒰ 🏷️ ꒱ ミ Permanent taglist: @agi-ppangx @sunnyrisee @jisunglyricist @nxtt2-u @nebugalaxy @bokk-minnie @tajannah-price1 (Click on the link to join! All you have to do is answer a few questions to help me stay organized!)

🍉 FROM THE RIVER TO THE SEA, PALESTINE WILL BE FREE! DAILY CLICKS!

[becomingmina]

hey would you be able to write a felix x fem reader angst? when felix falls out of love with her.

“ARE YOU SURE IT'S NOT HATE?" anon request w/ LEE FELIX.

pairing: felix x female reader genre + warnings: angst, reader cries wc: 1.9k mina's note: tmi - my ex fell out of love with me so this hits home a little. we meet when we were 12 and we broke up when we were 21. anyways, i hope you guys like this :)) and to the cuties anon who requested this, thank you very much!! sorry for making you wait, im just like felix i have no reason!

other works here ; any comments and thoughts you can drop them here ; ty for reading.

“I asked you a question baby,” you say from across the kitchen island. Felix was occupied on his phone, sitting on the stool on the other side of the counter.

“I gave you an answer Y/N,” he huffs after a few seconds, not lifting his head from the device.

“Yeah, but not verbally though,” you make your way over to him.

“Yeah, but I’m sure you’re grown enough to figure it out, Y/N,” he replies back, rolling his eyes up from his screen for a second before continuing with scrolling.

“You’re really fine with them being blue?” You questioned again, hugging him from behind, your chin resting on his shoulder.

“They’re just cupcakes, they’ll get eaten anyways. I don’t understand what’s the big problem with the colour of the icing,” he says irritated.

It was Chan’s turn to host dinner for your friend group. You and Felix usually bring over homemade cupcakes for dessert. It was a ritual to spend every last Saturday of the month together in the kitchen baking and decorating two dozen cupcakes. And usually, it was Felix who would have a hard time choosing the colour for the icing but today it seems he just wanted to get the cupcakes over and done with.

“Okay,” you replied defeated, feeling a little hurt at his tone. “Did you wanna help me?” You softly asked, sniffing his shoulder to take in his sweet scent.

“I’m busy,” Felix sighed.

“Okay, I’ll iced them then,” you moved yourself away Felix, walking back to your original position in the kitchen.

Lately you feel like Felix hasn’t been his clingy needy self. He would stick onto you like glue every second of the day but recently he’s been distant. You can’t pinpoint when exactly it became like this, but you were sure it’s been a couple of weeks by now. He’s been telling you that work has been busy for him, and you understand how it can affect him, but you still feel a little bit downhearted when he visually shows his annoyance with you.

After finished up with the icing and getting yourself ready, you sat in living room with the box of cupcakes on your lap patiently waiting for Felix. He had locked himself in the office, saying he needed to go over his feedback for some report for work.

“Hey, how’d it go?” You ask when you hear the office door open, but he ignores your question as he searches for his car keys. You expected it didn't go well.

The car ride to Chan’s was silent as you figured you should probably give him some space. He looks over to your side a couple of times noticing your quietness, but he doesn’t strike conversation with you, only making a few little comments about how bad traffic was. You brushed off his lack of initiative making excuses for him that he was just tired from work.

“He surprised me the other day! He’s going to rent out my favourite art gallery for our wedding reception,” Hana and Hyunjin was giving the group details their upcoming wedding at dinner. They were so cheerful talking about it and although you loved it for them, you couldn’t help envy it and wished for you and Felix to reach that stage in life shortly.

“Who’s next? Felix? Y/N?” Chan teased with a raised brow, and you goofily smile at the older man. You turned your head to Felix to see his reaction, but his head is tilted down and his face was straight. Chan notices the tension and quickly changes subject hoping no one else catch on. It caught you by surprise that he wasn’t as responsive as you were to Chan’s joke. It got you second guessing if it was even work that’s been making him like this.

You spend the rest of the night with the other girlfriends. As they spoke about their recent dates with their partner, all you could do was be happy for them concealing the fact that you and Felix hadn’t been on one in ages. You keep glancing over at Felix throughout the night but he showed you no attention. Usually you would catch him staring at you and blowing kisses and winks at you, but tonight there was nothing.

The car ride home was the same as the car ride there - quiet.

Felix walked in your apartment first, you followed behind him closely. As you put your bag on the entry way table you tripped over a pair of shoes accidentally falling forward on Felix in the process.

“Y/N watch yourself!” Felix yells, clearly annoyed.

“Sorry,” you softly say as you got up. “I just tripped,” you defend yourself, feeling tears start to form in your eyes at his tone.

“God can you look where you’re going?!” he groans turning around to face you. He was red mad. He had never got this angry at you before for tripping over.

“Did I do something wrong to you Felix?” You asked softly, feeling something heavy in your chest. You needed an answer to why he’s been treating you differently, it’s obvious now that it wasn’t because of work. “Last couple of weeks you have just been distant towards me and I’m a little hurt by it,” you say cracking your voice in the process, pulling a string on Felix’s heart. He frowns at your reaction.

You watch him sigh, hesitating little bit before he answers “You know work is hectic-”

“-Is it?” You questioned in an offended tone, dumbfounded that he used the same excuse again - work. “Work is hectic that you have to yell at me because I accidentally tripped on your shoes? Work’s been hectic that you can’t even smile at me in front of our friends? Work’s been hectic that you can’t even answer a simple question about the colour of the icing on the cupcakes that use to mean so much to you?!”

You didn’t expect to have an outburst like this. Felix doesn’t reply, he just takes a deep breath watching you as you continue to lash out at him.

“You don’t ask if I’m okay anymore. You don’t hug me anymore. Because of work?” You chuckle, sarcastically.

“Y/N-” he takes a step closer to you.

“-You’ve leave for work early in the morning and come back home late on the days I’m at home-”

“I-” he tried to speak again.

“And when it’s the weekend you lock yourself in the office all day. You avoid spending time with me, you avoid talking to me.” Your face was red, brows furrowed as you keep your tears from falling.

“Y/N, let me talk-”

“What did I do to-” You cut him off again.

“I’m not inlove you anymore!” Your heart drops at his words. The tears you tried to conceal instantly rolls down your cheeks and you take in a sharp breath. “This relationship is draining me.” He adds, breaking you even more.

You didn’t expect this. He’s been so mean to you lately all because he wasn’t in love you anymore? It doesn’t make sense to you that all of this was done because he fell out of love. You refuse to believe it.

“Are you sure it’s not hate?” You sniffled, pulling another string from Felix’s heart. "Are you sure it's not because you hate me?" you repeat yourself when he doesn't answer, feeling a bit anxious that it might be true, that he actually hates you.

“Never.” Felix replied rapidly this time, his tone a lot more softer now. “I could never hate you Y/N." Felix continues to conceals his emotions, not letting anything pass you.

“But you’ve been acting like you do.” You wiped your tears with the back of your hand, your eyes wavering to seek any reaction from him.

“I just needed space Y/N.”

“I gave you space. So much space,” you retorted.

“I think we should..” he stops before he says the last words, letting you piece the puzzle by yourself.

“You want to leave me?” You question and he flicks his eyes away from yours. You got your answer.

He lets out a heavy breath, running his fingers through his blonde hair, his eyes falling back on yours. “It’s for the best Y/N.”

“No, I don’t understand. Where I go wrong, Lix?.” you reached out to grip his forearm as the tears continued down your face, dripping to the floor.

“I don’t want to be here with you anymore,” he says softly, trying to loosen himself from your hold but you latch onto him tighter as you shake your head no.

“That’s not a reason Lix. Tell me where I went wrong,” You needed answers. He owe it to you. “You were the one who chased me, remember? You made me fall in love with you. It’s been 4 years and you want to leave me? Why?” You asked, in a complete mess.

“I don’t know,” he replies. “I’m sorry Y/N,” Felix apologies.

“Tell me why?”

“I can’t-”

“Then stay.” If he didn’t have an answer then he shouldn’t leave you, it’s unfair.

Y/N,” he says firmly.

“Just for one night,” you say, taking in a deep breath. “You can leave when I fall asleep,” you surrendered, eyes wavering waiting for his answer. “Please,” you beg.

“Y/N.. Baby I can’t,” it was the first time he called you that in a while and your heart breaks once more. He stopped calling you that and started calling you by name for months now. How is it that you never noticed until now.

“I’ll let you go when I fall asleep.. Please..Just love me one last time, Felix.”

Felix contemplated. He stared at you. Your glossy eyes. Your runny nose. Your red cheeks. He watches your chest rises up and down as you tried to control yourself. He hates seeing you cry, he hates seeing you hurt. It breaks him. He gives in. “Okay.”

He has you on pulled up flushed on him on your shared bed, your legs tangled with his. Your face pressed again his chest as one of his hand is wrapped around your waist and the other traces nothings up and down your back. Your tears haven’t stop, they fall effortlessly out of your eyes on his shirt. You stay quiet. You want to talk. You have so many questions to ask. So many things you want to know. But you stay quiet because you know Felix won’t answer you. So instead you stare into nothing as you replay back your happiest memories with Felix. You can’t help the small smile that is pulled on your face as you remember everything, every detail of everyday with him.

You tried you best to stay awake but you feel your eye lids closing. You don’t want to give in to sleep because you know by the time you wake up, he’ll be gone. But you’re exhausted, both your body and mind.

Felix stares up at the ceiling. He’s guilty. He owes you a reason, he owes you answers but he keeps quiet. He replays back memories but he doesn’t have the same reaction as you. He doesn’t smile. He cries instead. Tears run down his face as you recalls the soft and sweet memories with you. How could he do this to you? How could he make you fall in love with him then walk out like this? How could he say he was no longer in love with you?

Felix doesn’t hear your sniffles anymore. He feels your breathing evens out with his body. You had fallen asleep in his arms.

Felix presses a kiss to your temple, his arm still holding your waist tightly.

“I’m sorry.”

[sunshinesfreckless]

(Happy ?) Anniversary

───୨ৎ────────୨ৎ───────୨ৎ───

Pairing: Idol!Felix x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Angst, cursing, Felix says “fuck” like 7 times

Summary: Your busy boyfriend tends to forget important dates due to his schedule—but this time, it was the last straw for you.

A/N: Uhhh, very unrelated to the fic, but I want the fic requesters to know that I’m working on literally every fic you cuties requested. Please be patient—I hope you guys don’t have to wait too long. I’m doing my best hehe xx Ily all!

───୨ৎ────────୨ৎ───────୨ৎ───

She had prepared the flowers hours ago. White roses, trimmed with trembling hands, arranged carefully in the vase he once said reminded him of his mother’s home. Everything had to look perfect. She fluffed the pillows on the couch twice. Then again. The candles on the table flickered gently, casting soft golden shadows across the walls — warm and delicate, like the evening she had imagined so many times.

She adjusted the straps of her silk dress once more and she’d worn her hair the way he liked, like she hadn’t tried too hard, though she had. God, she had.

From the kitchen came the scent of the food she had made. The stew simmered low, the rice was fluffy and warm, and the side dish was plated like she had watched in that cooking video over and over again. It was all ready. She just needed him.

She picked up her phone again, screen lighting up with her own reflection, expectant and bright.

Y/N: The food is almost done. I can’t wait to see you tonight.

She smiled to herself. There was a nervous flutter in her chest. Two years. They had made it through so much.

She sat down on the edge of the sofa, her hands folded neatly on her lap. Her eyes flicked to the door every few minutes. Then to the clock. Then to her phone again.

Still no read receipt.

She bit the inside of her cheek and typed again.

Y/N: Are you on your way?

A beat.

Then another.

She waited. The stew began to cool. The candles burned lower.

She waited.

Seconds melted into minutes, minutes into nearly an hour. She checked the app again. Still no reply. Still no sign of him reading anything. She opened his location once — just for a second — then quickly closed it. She hated doing that. She hated that she had to.

She stood and began to pace, heels softly clicking against the wooden floor. Maybe he was caught up in rehearsal. Maybe there was an emergency. Maybe the manager needed him. Maybe—

But she knew. Deep down, she always knew. He wasn’t coming.

She sat back down, slower this time. The candles had nearly burnt to the bottom. The flowers had begun to wilt at the edges — or maybe it was just her vision blurring. She wasn’t sure anymore.

The dress suddenly felt tight. Like a costume for a part she hadn’t been chosen for. Her fingers hovered over the keyboard again, but this time she couldn’t think of anything to write that didn’t sound like begging.

So she stayed still. Alone in the quiet room she had tried so hard to fill with love. The room smelled like food nobody would eat. Music still played low in the background, a playlist he had once made for her.

Two years.

And still, she had never felt more invisible.

Her thumb hovered over the call button, hesitation curling in her stomach like smoke. But she tapped it anyway.

Changbin picked up on the second ring.

“Hey, Bunny,��� he greeted cheerfully, completely unaware of the ache she was holding in her chest.

She forced a smile he couldn’t see. “Hi Binnie…” Her voice was soft, hesitant. “Is, um… is Felix with you?”

There was a brief pause on the other end as he pulled the phone away and called out to the others in the background. Muffled voices responded, then a rustle as he returned to the line.

“No, he’s not. I thought he was with you — didn’t we all clear out of the dorm just so you guys could celebrate tonight?”

Her cheeks flushed with shame, though there was no one in the room to see it. She glanced at the untouched food, the dying candles, the table she’d poured her heart into.

“Yeah… I thought so too,” she said quickly, trying to cover her disappointment. “Maybe he got caught in traffic or something.”

They said their goodbyes, and she hung up. The silence settled again like a heavy coat on her shoulders.

Just as she sat back down, trying to swallow the sting in her throat, the front door creaked open.

She heard a familiar sniff — the kind he always did when he came in from the cold. Then the soft sound of his boots on the wooden floor. He stepped into the apartment, cheeks flushed pink from the winter air, a black beanie pulled low over his blonde hair. His glasses slid a little down his nose as he looked up.

“Oh, hey,” he said casually, giving her a faint smile. “Smells good in here.”

Then he saw her eyes.

Swollen. Red. Quiet in a way that wasn’t like her.

His smile faltered instantly.

“Wait… are you okay, babe?” he asked, concern blooming on his face as he stepped inside and shut the door behind him. His eyes darted around. “Where are the guys?”

Of course. He still didn’t realize.

She stood slowly, her hands clenched at her sides. Her voice came out so small it barely carried across the room.

“Do you know what day it is today?”

He blinked, confused. “Yeah, I had that fitting today. For Nicolas—”

She let out a short breath, almost a scoff. “No, Felix.” Her voice cracked a little. “I mean our day.”

It hit him then.

His gaze snapped to the table — the candles now half-burned, the cold food still untouched, the carefully arranged white roses she had picked just for tonight. His face paled.

“Oh fuck,” he whispered, breath catching. He dropped his bag to the floor like it weighed a thousand pounds. “Baby, I’m so sorry. I… I completely—”

She stepped back when he moved toward her.

“Don’t, Felix.”

He stopped mid-step, heart in his throat. “Please, baby. I swear I didn’t mean to forget. Things got so hectic and—”

She shook her head, eyes shining again with unshed tears. And this time, she didn’t hide them.

She stood there, arms loosely wrapped around herself as if trying to hold something inside from spilling out. Her voice was low, almost hollow, when she said it.

“Yeah. Obviously… This isn’t the first time.”

Felix froze in front of her. His hand hovered mid-air, like he had meant to reach out and touch her, but her words stopped him cold. His face crumpled for a second — just a flicker — before he tried to pull himself together.

“I didn’t mean to—”

“No, I know.” She gave a small laugh, sharp and tired. “You never mean to. That’s the thing, Lix. It’s never cruel. It’s never deliberate. But it still hurts the same.”

The air between them grew heavy, a silence so loud it pressed on both their chests.

He swallowed hard.

“I had the fitting, and then Chan called and we had to—”

“I’m not asking for excuses,” she cut him off, voice trembling. “I’m not even asking for much, Felix. Just to matter a little more than whatever the hell always comes first.”

He flinched at that.

“That’s not fair,” he muttered.

“Isn’t it?”

He looked at her then — really looked. And for a terrifying second, she saw it in his face: the anger, the frustration. Not at her, not really, but at the impossible reality of his life. The life she had once told him she understood. Did she really ?

“You knew what this was,” he finally said, voice low and raw. “You knew what it meant to be with me. The schedule. The travel. The pressure. I don’t get to forget fittings or rehearsals or appearances. If I let people down, I don’t just apologize and move on — I lose everything.”

She didn’t say anything. Just stared at him with wide, wet eyes, like he’d just broken something that had already been cracking for far too long.

“Yeah,” she whispered, “but what about me, Felix?”

He went still.

“What do I lose?” she asked. “I sit here waiting, I make the dinner, I light the candles, I put on a fucking dress I haven’t worn in a year, and you… you don’t even remember. You walk in like it’s Tuesday.”

He took a shaky breath. “Baby, please…”

She stepped back before he could reach for her. “Do you know how humiliating it is? Calling Changbin just to ask where you are? Hoping maybe you were in traffic — begging the universe for a traffic jam to cover for the fact that you just forgot me?”

Felix’s eyes were glassy now. He opened his mouth, then closed it again.

“You’re everything to me,” he said finally, quietly. “You know that, right?”

She looked at him — her voice so soft it nearly shattered him.

“Then why do I feel like nothing?”

“Don’t say shit like that,” Felix snapped, voice tight, eyes burning. “You know that’s not fair. That’s bullshit.”

Her eyes flicked up to meet his, glossed with unshed tears. But she didn’t flinch.

“Well your excuses are bullshit too,” she shot back, breath trembling. “You always have a reason, don’t you? Always something more important.”

He ran a hand through his hair, exasperated. “What the fuck is your problem?” he growled. “It’s not an excuse—I’m sorry for being late, and I’m fucking sorry for forgetting our fucking anniversary, alright?”

She took a small step back. Not out of fear—but because the volume in his voice hurt more than she’d expected.

“We’ve talked about this!” he shouted, pacing now, his emotions spiraling faster than he could stop them. “So many goddamn times. You know how busy I am. We’re planning a whole comeback right now. I’ve barely slept in days, but I still came home. And now I’m the bad guy for being human? For slipping up once?”

She didn’t say anything. Her hands were starting to shake, but she curled them into fists to keep it hidden.

He scoffed bitterly, and when he looked at her again, something cruel slipped past the desperation.

“You are so fucking clingy, you know that?” he spat. “Always fucking needing something. Always fucking complaining when I can’t give you every second of my life. You should be grateful I even made it home tonight.”

The silence that followed was deafening.

Her chest rose and fell unevenly, the sting of his words blooming into something sharp and cold in her lungs. He’d never yelled at her before. Not like this. Not with that look on his face, like she was just another burden.

She blinked fast, trying to keep her tears from falling, voice cracking as she whispered,

“…Well. I’m sorry, then.”

The front door creaked open.

The boys stepped inside, loud with laughter at first, but it died instantly when they saw her — standing still in the center of the room like she’d been hit by a truck. Her eyes were wet. Her shoulders drawn in tight, like she was trying to make herself small.

Felix grabbed his bag off the floor in one sharp movement.

Chan reached out instinctively. “Felix—”

But he shoved past him, jaw clenched, and stormed out without another word, the door slamming behind him.

Silence again.

Hyunjin stepped forward carefully. “What… happened?”

Chan looked at her with quiet alarm. “Are you okay?”

She didn’t answer.

Didn’t even look up.

Just wiped her cheek roughly with the back of her hand, and with a voice small and tired beyond her years, she said,

“Suit yourselves. The food’s cold. You can heat it up.”

Then she turned and went upstairs, footsteps slow, dragging.

And when her door closed, she finally let herself break.

────୨ৎ────

Lee Know was halfway through a bowl of cereal, hoodie hood pulled halfway over his face, when the front door creaked open.

Felix stepped in, eyes tired, the beanie from last night still on his head.

“Morning,” his deep voice mumbled, scratchy from lack of sleep—or maybe from all the shouting.

Lee Know looked up from the kitchen counter.

“Where were you all night?”

Felix shrugged, trying to keep it casual. “Slept over at Wooyoung’s.”

A pause.

Lee Know set his spoon down slowly, expression unreadable.

“Well… your girlfriend’s gone.”

That made Felix freeze.

“What do you mean ‘gone’?”

Footsteps padded on the stairs behind him as Changbin came down, stretching.

“Good morning to you too,” he muttered sarcastically.

Chan came down next, already dressed and scrolling through his phone. He didn’t look up when he spoke.

“Where’s Y/N?” Felix asked, voice tight.

“Could ask you that,” Chan said flatly, opening the fridge and pulling out the orange juice.

There was no pity in their eyes. No sympathy for the wide-eyed confusion dawning on his face.

Felix dug into his pocket for his phone, unlocking it with fumbling fingers. He typed out a quick message.

Felix: Where did you go?

Felix: Baby please say something

Felix: I’m sorry.

Delivered. But no response.

His chest squeezed.

Last night had been a blur of anger and guilt, and he’d tried to bury both by disappearing into the safety of someone else’s couch and letting silence do the talking. But now that she was actually gone—really gone—it hit him like a truck.

He leaned on the kitchen counter, staring at his phone, jaw clenched.

“She left before sunrise,” Lee Know added, softer this time. “Didn’t even take breakfast.”

“Did you seriously not check on her before walking out?” Changbin’s voice held a quiet frustration now. “Not even a note? A text? After yelling at her like that?”

Felix didn’t answer.

Chan looked up finally, folding his arms. “You can’t just throw words like that at her and expect everything to be fine the next morning, Felix. You hurt her. Really hurt her.”

“She didn’t even cry when she said goodbye,” Lee Know added. “That’s how you know it was bad.”

Felix gripped the edge of the counter so hard his knuckles turned white.

“I know I fucked up,” he muttered.

“Then fix it,” Chan snapped, frustration bubbling over. “Unless you’re okay with losing her. Is that what you want?”

“Of course not,” Felix said, almost yelling. Then quieter, like he was trying to convince himself, “Of course not.”

He opened her chat again. Still no reply.

Then he tried calling her.

Straight to voicemail.

He stared at the screen, jaw clenching tighter, guilt curling in his stomach like poison. He couldn’t even blame her. The words he’d thrown at her—he could still hear them in his own voice. Clingy. Grateful I came home. As if she hadn’t waited hours, set a table, built a moment for them to celebrate them—only to be made to feel like a burden.

And now she was gone.

Really gone.

────୨ৎ────

Felix paced the living room like a storm trapped in a bottle.

“Guys, please just tell me where she is,” he begged for the fifth time, turning to Han, who sat cross-legged on the floor tuning a guitar but hadn’t strummed a single string.

“Even if I knew, I wouldn’t tell you,” Han said without looking up. “She needs space, and you need to understand why.”

Felix ran a hand through his messy hair, breath shaky. His voice dropped into a quieter plea.

“I just want to say sorry. Really this time.”

Across the room, Lee Know was leaning against the kitchen island, arms crossed, silent and brooding. His cereal was forgotten and soggy in the bowl beside him. He didn’t speak, just stared at the floor. He hadn’t touched his phone in a while either, and his usual apathy looked more like discomfort now.

Then, slowly, he pulled out his phone and unlocked it with a sigh.

Felix watched with wide eyes, frozen in place.

Lee Know didn’t meet his gaze. He just lifted the phone to his ear and waited.

It rang once. Twice.

And then—click.

“Hi, princess,” Lee Know said softly, the corners of his mouth twitching in a rare, gentle smile. “Where are you?”

Felix swallowed hard, heart hammering.

A pause.

“Mm… I see. With Ryujin?” He glanced up, eyes flickering to Felix.

Felix exhaled, slumping down onto the couch, his head falling into his hands, relief crashing through his chest like a wave. His voice cracked slightly:

“Thank God…”

Lee Know pressed the phone closer, lowering his voice. “You know he was worried about you, right? Wouldn’t sit down. Keeps asking for you like a lost puppy.”

There was a silence as she responded on the other end. Lee Know listened with a slight nod. Then, he murmured, “Yeah… he knows. He’s been beating himself up since sunrise.”

Felix lifted his head, searching Lee Know’s face for any hint of hope.

Another pause.

And then—click.

The call ended.

Lee Know let the phone fall to his side, then turned to Felix.

“She said she was gonna come by tonight. Just to pick up some clothes.”

Felix shot up straight. “She’s coming back?”

Lee Know gave him a warning look. “She thinks you’re not gonna be here.”

Felix stood up too quickly, pacing again. “This is my only chance, right?”

“It’s not a performance, Felix,” Lee Know said coolly. “Don’t do it because you’re panicking. Do it because you actually get it now.”

Chan walked in just then, arms crossed and gaze sharp.

“Did I hear that right?” he said. “She’s coming over?”

Felix nodded, eyes hopeful. “Tonight.”

Chan raised his brows and scoffed. “After what happened, I’m honestly surprised she even wants to walk into the same apartment again.”

“Hyung—”

“No. Shut up for a second.”

Chan’s tone dropped. Firm. Controlled. Not yelling—but somehow worse than that.

“Do you even understand why she left?” he said. “Do you know what it does to someone to make a space just for you—light candles, cook, set the table—just to be treated like she’s overreacting? Like she’s clingy for wanting one fucking evening with the person she loves?”

Felix lowered his head.

“You didn’t just forget the anniversary, Felix. You made her feel like she was a burden for caring. And that’s the shit that sticks. That’s what people remember when they think about whether they feel safe with someone or not.”

The room fell quiet.

Even Lee Know didn’t chime in.

Chan stared at him a beat longer before sighing and turning away.

“If she shows up tonight, don’t just say sorry. Show her you actually mean it.”

Felix stood there, chest rising and falling, the weight of Chan’s words heavy in his bones.

He looked at the couch where she used to curl up beside him, the kitchen where she’d probably stood hours decorating a table for a night he never showed up for.

His heart thudded like a warning.

Tonight would either make or break everything.

────୨ৎ────

She hadn’t even taken off her shoes.

The hallway felt too quiet when she stepped inside, her fingers still trembling around the key she’d almost dropped twice. It was dark, except for a faint amber light flickering from the living room. She’d told herself she’d just grab her things, maybe leave a note. Maybe cry in the car after. She didn’t expect him to be here.

But when she turned the corner, she froze.

There he was.

On the couch.

Waiting.

His hair was a mess, clothes wrinkled like he hadn’t changed in a day, and his eyes—God, his eyes looked ruined.

“Hi,” he whispered.

She stayed by the doorway, fingers tightening around the handle of the overnight bag she planned to fill. The room smelled like her favorite vanilla candle—he’d lit all of them. The table was set again, this time clumsy but clearly him. Two plates. A reheated attempt at the same meal she had made. A half-wilted flower placed carefully beside the napkin.

It was almost laughable.

But her chest ached too much to laugh.

“Minho said you weren’t home,” she said, quietly.

He stood up. Slowly. Like he was afraid she’d bolt if he moved too fast.

“I wasn’t supposed to be,” he said, voice hoarse. “But I… I couldn’t let you come back to silence.”

She looked away.

“Y/N,” he stepped closer, but didn’t reach out. “I’m so fucking sorry.”

Her eyes flickered to him, glossy already. She didn’t want to cry again. She really didn’t.

“You yelled at me,” she said. Her voice shook, the words barely above a whisper. “You’ve never done that before.”

He inhaled sharply like her words had sliced him.

“I know.” His voice broke. “I know, and I’ll never forgive myself for it.”

She looked at him then—really looked. His eyes were red, like he hadn’t slept. His hands trembled at his sides, and his lips were parted like he was still trying to find the right words to make everything right.

But there weren’t any.

So she said the thing that had haunted her the most.

“You made me feel small. Like I was annoying for loving you too much.”

He pressed his hands against his face, dragging them down in frustration before stepping forward again.

“No—no, baby, please. I never meant that. I never meant any of it.” His voice cracked. “You love me in the most beautiful way. You make spaces warm. You make days matter. I was stressed, and tired, and stupid—but I should’ve never, ever taken it out on you.”

Silence.

Her throat burned.

“I don’t want to be scared of you, Lix,” she said, and this time her voice broke. “I was scared when you yelled. I—I didn’t know what to do. You’ve never made me feel like that before and it…” She couldn’t finish.

He rushed to her then, falling to his knees in front of her.

“I swear to you,” he whispered, clutching the hem of her coat. “That’ll never happen again. I swear on everything—I’ll spend every day making sure you never feel that way. Please… please don’t give up on me.”

His eyes were shimmering, his fingers trembling against the fabric. She could feel the heat of his skin even through the coat.

“I miss you,” he said, choking the words out. “I miss you like my lungs miss air.”

She stood there for a long moment, heart in her throat, the space between them thick with unsaid hurt and love and regret.

Then she knelt too.

And wrapped her arms around him.

He broke.

Right there in her arms, the boy who had always held her like she was breakable shattered like glass in her embrace. He clung to her, face buried in her shoulder, breath ragged with sobs he no longer tried to hide.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry—” he kept whispering.

She stroked his hair gently, tears finally falling.

“I know,” she whispered back. “Just… don’t ever let me feel alone like that again.”

His arms tightened around her.

“Never,” he swore. “Not even for a second.”

And in that fragile moment, on the floor of their shared apartment, they started to put the pieces back together.

He held her like the world would collapse if he let go. And maybe, for him, it would have.

Still kneeling on the floor with her curled into his chest, Felix pressed his lips to her temple, voice thick but steady now. “I’ll do better. I swear.”

She didn’t answer, but he could feel the way her hand tightened at the back of his hoodie.

“I never meant to make you feel like an afterthought. And missing our anniversary—God, that’s on me. All of it is. You planned everything so beautifully, and I just… I wasn’t there. And I should’ve been.”

Her cheek pressed into his collarbone. He kissed the top of her head.

“From now on,” he whispered, “you’re part of everything. Not just the parts I have time for. I’ll make time. You shouldn’t have to beg for it.”

His words sank into her slowly, like balm on a bruise. And for once, she could tell he wasn’t just saying it—he meant it. He meant every word.

────୨ৎ────

It started small.

The next morning, he took her hand and asked if she’d come with him to the studio. Not just to drop him off. Not just for a coffee run. But to stay. With him.

She curled up on the couch. Watched the way he got lost in the music. Smiled every time he threw her a wink or made a goofy face mid-recording just to make her laugh.

The boys didn’t question it. Not once.

In fact, they loved it.

“You here for emotional support or to make sure he doesn’t forget your birthday too?” Changbin teased, and she threw a pillow at him while Felix grinned like an idiot behind his laptop.

She helped Hyunjin organize props for their SKZ Talker behind-the-scenes vlog. Chan gave her the camera once and let her film a whole segment herself. Felix kept sneaking in frames to kiss her cheek, until Lee Know pushed him out of the way with a deadpan, “Let her work, she’s better than you at this.”

Felix took her to late-night practice, where she watched them run the same choreo until their shirts clung to their backs. She clapped louder than anyone.

“I don’t care how tired I am,” he whispered during water breaks, forehead resting against hers. “As long as you’re here.”

She sat beside him at brand meetings, picked out outfits with the stylists, got a backstage pass to his world—and not once did he make her feel like she was in the way.

He asked her opinion.

He held her hand.

He told every staff member who looked surprised to see her, “She’s staying. That’s my girl.”

And every night when they got home, he’d wrap his arms around her and murmur:

“Thank you for not giving up on me.”

───୨ৎ────────୨ৎ───────୨ৎ───

@sapphirewaves @bemyaehiweloveskz @velvetmoonlght

[lovemni]

the way , i love you

[ 필릭스 ] ✷ ‎aftercare with your boyfriend !

۫ 𖨂 𓈒 𝑖dol𝑏f!felix ₊ ‎ ‎ 𝑓em!reader ˙ . ꒷ g. domestic fluff , established relationship. 9OOw. ⎯⎯⎯ LIBRARY ⟢ cw. suggestive , kisses , close proximity , intimacy. ┆ 🖇️ ⋮ [ 6 / 8 ] drabble .ᐟ ֹ ₊

yani's note 𑁍ࠬܓ comments, likes, req./asks and reblogs are always appreciated <3 asks are only open until the last week of february, so please read my guidelines beforehand !! send in a dm, reply or an ask if you want to be in my mastertag, or my individual series' taglists. happy reading <3

the warm glow of the bedside lamp casts a soft, golden haze over the room, pooling in honeyed ribbons along the sheets, the walls, the tangled mess of limbs still recovering from the storm of passion moments ago. the air is thick with the scent of vanilla and faint traces of your boyfriend's cologne, mingling with the lingering warmth of skin against skin.

his breath is steady, deep—like the rolling tide pulling back from the shore—his chest rising and falling in tandem with yours as he holds you close, the quiet aftermath settling over both of you like the softest lullaby.

but his mind? oh, it’s a storm of worry.

"did i hurt you?"

he whispers, his deep, accented voice brushing against the shell of your ear, laced with genuine concern. his arms tighten around you just a little, as if anchoring you back to him. "tell me honestly, please. if i was too much, i—"

"you were perfect," you mumble, your voice drowsy, melting into his hold.

felix exhales, relieved, before pressing a lingering kiss to your temple. "good," he murmurs against your skin, lips warm and reverent.

"because i really, really like making you feel good. like, a lot. i think it’s my new favorite hobby."

a tired, breathy laugh escapes you. "it’s been your hobby for a year, lix."

"okay, but now i take it very seriously. like, professional level," he counters, and you can hear the smile in his voice. "might start a club. 'felix’s lovers of the year' club. but there’s only one spot available, and it’s exclusively for you."

you huff, burying your face against his collarbone. "that was terrible."

"yeah, but did it make you smile?" he peeks down at you, expectant, hopeful.

you try to fight it. you really do. but the way he’s looking at you—with that stupidly bright, gummy smile and those galaxy-swirled brown eyes—makes it impossible.

"maybe," you admit, soft and quiet.

felix grins, victorious. "mission accomplished."

his fingers start trailing slow, absentminded patterns over your back, gentle and soothing. he’s always like this after—the perfect mix of soft and playful, as if making sure you know how much he loves you in every way possible.

then, suddenly—

"oh my god, you're so warm," he groans dramatically, shifting slightly. "like a human heater. i think i’m melting. i’m dying. this is the end for me. tell my members i love them."

you snort. "you’re the one clinging to me."

felix gasps, betrayed. "how dare you? i am protecting you. keeping you safe and loved and cozy. it's my duty as your incredibly hot and responsible boyfriend."

"incredibly hot and responsible?"

"yeah," he says, grinning as he nudges his nose against yours. "and sexy. don’t forget sexy."

you roll your eyes, but there’s no stopping the way your lips twitch. "you’re ridiculous."

"and yet, you love me."

"unfortunately."

felix lets out a loud, exaggerated gasp before launching a merciless attack of feather-light kisses all over your face. "take that back!" he demands between kisses. "take! it! back!"

you squirm, giggling. "lix—stop!"

"never," he declares dramatically, but his kisses slow, turning softer, lingering—one on your cheek, one on your nose, another ghosting over your lips before he finally presses a deep, warm kiss to your forehead.

silence stretches between you for a moment, comfortable and laced with something tender.

then, felix sighs, pulling back just enough to study you. "you’re really tired, hm?"

you nod sleepily, and his expression softens even more.

"stay here, i’ll clean you up," he whispers, brushing your hair back from your face with the utmost care. "i'll get you water, too. and snacks, in case you’re hungry. and a blanket, even though you’re already roasting me alive."

"felix, you don’t have to—"

"ah-ah-ah." he presses a finger against your lips. "let me spoil you, baby. just this once. or actually, every time. no takebacks."

you give him a sleepy, fond look, too tired to argue, and he grins before slipping out of bed. the room feels colder without him, but the sound of him humming softly as he pads around—his deep, velvety voice weaving through the space—is comforting.

a few moments later, he returns, armed with a warm towel, a glass of water, and a packet of biscuits.

he sets everything down carefully, then kneels beside you with a comically serious expression. "okay, love, time for your felix-certified aftercare package. step one, hydration." he hands you the water.

you take a slow sip, and he nods approvingly.

"step two, gentle clean-up." he dabs the warm towel against your skin, so careful, so attentive. his lips twitch into a playful smirk as he wipes your thigh. "damn, i really did a number on you, huh?"

you groan, swatting at him weakly. "shut up."

he cackles but finishes up with feather-light touches, pressing a kiss to your knee for good measure.

"step three, snacks, in case my lovely, adorable, stunning baby is hungry." he offers you the biscuits with an expectant look.

you take one, nibbling on it slowly. "thank you, muffin man." you laugh.

"anytime, only the best for my baby," he murmurs, before climbing back into bed and pulling you close again, this time wrapping you entirely in his warmth.

his lips graze your temple, soft as a whisper. "step four, cuddles. and kisses. and telling you how much i love you until you fall asleep."

you hum contentedly, feeling sleep tug at you. "sounds like the best step."

felix grins, stroking your hair gently. "mhm. now, for my final and most important job…" he leans in, lips just brushing your ear before whispering in the deepest voice he can muster:

"sleep well, pretty."

and just like that, wrapped in his warmth, surrounded by his love, you do.

mastertag ୨୧ @cosmicalily @hyunjiiza @modesttiger @woozarts @katsukis1wife @bddaramjis @reignessance @peskybirdysya @honeyybbuubblleess @ellemir2404 @4ng3l-ch1ld @urlocalmultigroupfan @ashtxrie @sxungchqn @minlixyaoi

guess who almost lost track of the mastertag adds !! not me

[pearlescynt]

݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ .☽ fae trap ☾. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖

{ Pairing } - Elf!Felix x Witch.afab!Reader

{ Genre } - Smut, Dark, Fantasy

{ Synopsis } - It is said, that if you ever find yourself inside of a fairy ring. The fae will punish you, by making you dance until you are passing out from exhaustion. But when you find yourself doing a different kind of 'dance' on the ground, in the middle of one, with the most beautiful creature you've ever seen you might add, you wonder; is this truly a punishment?

{ WC } - 7.7k

{ Warnings & Tags } - 18+ MDNI, DEAD DOVE: DO NOT EAT, dubcon, aphrodisiac effects, oral (f&m receiving), unprotected sex (piv; do as I say, not as I write & pee after sex!), rough/hard sex, overstimulation, big dick felix, dacryphilia, talk of breeding & mating, talking of mating rituals, please don't touch fly agaric mushrooms, srsly they're toxic and deadly, possible incorrect french usage.

{ Disclaimer } - This work is in no way associated or depicting the actual life of the members of SKZ. It is a fictional piece of work, and I do not own Stray Kids. All works of fiction are loosely inspired by SKZ, and in no way am I saying it is true to their character.

{ A/N } - For the love of all things skz. DO NOT EVER TOUCH FLY AGARIC/AMANITA MUSCARIA MUSHROOMS. THEY ARE TOXIC. DEADLY. This is also probably the darkest thing I've written on this account so far. But it doesn't feel inherently evil to me personally??? But it is enough to warrant a TW! This started off as a birthday oneshot for Felix. I'm starting to think I'm no good at oneshots. This could be left alone, but it could also be a series... I have so many world building thoughts, but idk if I wanna do that. What do you think?

Dusk was approaching as you made your way home from your walk. 

You were blessed to own a cute little home, right on the edge of a beautiful and mysterious forest. Every day you were able to take nature walks, wandering through the treeline, exploring the vegetation. Collecting materials, making sure never to take too much of what the woodland had to offer. And caring for as much as you could, though you knew you were not essential to the survival of wilderness itself. 

That didn't stop you from befriending the little critters who made their home there, or from essentially finding your own second home there. 

You never brought anything with you to permanently invade nature. Instead you wrapped your daily essentials in a little bindle. It usually contained a hearty snack, a book or two, endless vials and jars, your cell, and a small emergency kit. Homemade salves, balms, and tonics included. 

You always had some new shiny objects for your crow friends, making sure to exchange the gifts they left for you at your designated spot. And you always made sure to leave some nuts and seeds for the various rodents who liked to stuff their cheeks. Again, you didn't need to, but they really liked sweet black walnuts and salty peanuts in the shells. Who were you to deny them that treat! 

Some days you brought select crystals with you, cleaning and recharging them in the streams of spring water. Other days you'd use that same water, sealing it in jars and leaving it nearby to make moon water overnight. Those were about the only two things you ever left in the forest, always making sure to come back the next day and retrieve them. 

You always carry a little basket with you too. The forest was abundant in ingredients for many different things. Your favorite is mushrooms and fungi. 

There were many times you'd find a log of an oak tree, fallen over and resting on the ground. A bunch of chicken of the woods growing on it. You'd collect them, taking them home to cook for dinner or other meals.

Other days you'd find lion's mane, and make sure to gather some for your favorite tincture to make and take. It did wonders for your anxiety. 

You were a green witch through and through, and you were raised this way. You drew your energy and essence from nature, always taking little bits of it home. 

Today was no different. Forgoing mushrooms, you instead had bundles of mugwort and a jar full of mulberries in your wicker basket. Wrapped in a little cloth were a bunch of spicebush berries.

You were nearing the last clearing within the woods, your house was about a ten minute walk away at this point. 

The soft moss against your bare feet was grounding, and you were listening to the buzz and crackle of nightlife within the forest. Your white skirt ended at your knees, flaring out. The chiffon is blowing in the cool breeze. It was still tshirt weather, and that's exactly what you wore on top. A fitted one, pale and muted ivy green. You gave up on bras long ago, you were a solitary creature anyways. The friends who did visit never cared about your attire.

You were in your own world, playing a balancing game on a stump and humming to yourself, when flashes of red caught your eye. 

In the clearing, scattered in a broken circle, was fly agaric. 

Your heart fluttered at this rare find. You walk past this clearing daily, and never noticed any of the red mushrooms with white speckles there before. 

Eagerly, you approach. In the back of your mind, warning bells are going off. Thinking back to childhood, of the stories your mom once told you of the fae folk. You'd encountered fairy rings before, but never of this type of mushroom, and never broken ones. Certainly never one so big. You never breached the little white rings in the past, not wanting to mess with entities so possibly mischievous. 

But it would be fine right? This might not even be considered a fairy ring. It was sort of... circle-ish? But not really. There were so many gaps in between them, it wasn't a perfect circle like you'd seen in the past. And these mushrooms were so rare and so powerful, in so many ways. You could feel their energy radiating around you.

You glanced around, searching for any signs of immortal creatures lurking near. You saw and heard nothing, but that would be typical. They never willingly reveal themselves, in fact... You've never seen one. You've never seen any kind of fae folk. It's not that you didn't believe in them, you were sure some form of them existed. Afterall, you practice a form of magick. Your own form, and that exists. 

You were convinced all mythical creatures either exist or had existed, the idea of them couldn't come from nothing. Not when they were in so many stories across all different cultures. 

You paused for a few more moments, really trying to feel any negative energy. There was none, there was never any in your little forest. 

So, tentatively, you took a few steps forward. Then you paused again, waiting for something to pop out. 

Nothing.

You giggled to yourself happily, and then bent down to pluck the mushrooms from the marshy earth. 

They all varied in size, some were large with bulbous caps. Some were shorter, and had flatter caps. Each mushroom, you made sure to pick with a cloth barrier between them and your fingers. These could be deadly if used the wrong way or taken in excess. You had no idea what would happen if you came into direct contact with it, on your bare skin. 

You really should start carrying gloves with you.

You made your way around the broken circle, humming in between giggles, and unconsciously dancing. You were nearly prancing each bare step to the next. 

If you had paid more attention to your mothers tales, you'd realize the consequences of stepping inside a fairy ring were already taking effect.

You were collecting more than you needed now, your basket was overflowing. But still, you didn't want to stop. You felt strangely overcome with merriment. You never felt more at home in these woods than this moment. 

You mindlessly set your basket down, your humming growing in volume. You looked to the sky, as you allowed your body to sway back and forth. Arms stretched out towards the waning moon, coming to life in the dark sky surrounding you. 

Your eyes closed, soaking in the moonlight. And you brought your arms back down, letting them float at your sides as you twirled, and twirled. Your skirt flutters up to reveal your thighs even more, hair whipping in your face. You revelled in the feeling of the squishy dirt beneath your feet. You felt grounded, but as if you were flying all at the same time.

You don't know when your solitude was breached, or if you were ever truly alone in the first place, but you finally noticed his presence when his hands intertwined with yours. 

He was twirling with you, spinning you in circles. 

He was nearly glowing, strawberry colored lips revealing the sweetest smile you'd ever seen. His long, straight white hair framed his face stunningly, tendrils of it outlining his strong jaw line. And his face... so, perfect. He had hundreds of freckles splashed across his cheeks, nose and eyes. Even some scattering up to his hairline, and down to his chin. You'd imagine you could create many constellations with them, like the stars that twinkle in the night sky. He adorned various jewelry, all silver. In his ears, and a cuff across the bridge of his nose. He even wore a gorgeous crown that laid across his forehead as a head piece. It was thin, and wiry, made up of gorgeous silver filigree that shone in the moonlight. You knew that the rings you felt in between your fingers would be silver too. 

He wore all white. You couldn't be sure exactly what his outfit was, but his shirt was a flowing lace up top. Revealing delicate collar bones and toned chest. It was mostly a blur in the midst of his movements. 

Your gasp was delayed, only coming out when he pulled you closer to him. Your hand remains in his, while his arm is wrapped around your waist. You were nearly flush with him, feeling the rest of his chiseled torso against your plush body. But he kept your face at some distance to maintain eye contact. The smile never slipped from his lips. 

He has you captivated, and the two of you don't falter in your melodic movements once. His eyes bore into you, dark and sharp. Yet he exuded a certain softness, and you found yourself lost in the moment. It didn't seem real. 

But it was. 

You were seeing him. In all his glory, ever mysterious and breathtaking. The most handsome man you've ever laid eyes on. 

You were hearing him. He was humming the same tune you were, an old lullaby your mom used to sing to you. His voice was deep, and even, harmonizing with your breathy high pitched voice beautifully. 

You were feeling him. He was touching you, his hand interlocked with yours. His grip around your waist is gentle but possessive. He held you like he didn't want to break you, but knew if he was too loose, you'd go running. 

Though you weren't so sure you would run. 

Your mind was racing. There's no way you could stumble across a perfect stranger, who was immediately dancing with you, so close to the edge of the forest. So close to your house. Maybe this was some sort of hallucination. A side effect of being surrounded by so many toxic mushrooms. 

The mushrooms. 

That was it, it all clicked. Too late did the rest of your mother's words ring in your ears. 

His aura, his energy, his perfect pixie-like features. You noticed the point of his ears now, the glittery sheen to his skin. His smile is full of white pointed teeth, dull now, but you could tell they were once sharper in the past. His slight cat-like eyes, giving them that sharp look even though everything else about him screamed delicate.

Your humming stopped, but his didn't. Your mother's voice is filling your head, and you were repeating the words she once told you so long ago. 

'and if you're caught, the fae folk will punish you. You'll be dancing within the ring until you faint from exhaustion.' you whispered quietly. 

His smile only grew, a glint lighting up his eyes. 

He finally spoke, his chest vibrating against yours, "Wise words, from a magnificent young lady."

He had an accent, you couldn't quite place it. Something between old english and australian. It made you want to melt. 

He started laughing, and you were sure that if he didn't have a grip on you, you would've slid to the ground. 

You've both stopped twirling, but he's still moving you, moving with you. Swaying back and forth. 

"Who are you?" You ask curiously. 

"Who?" He chuckles, "Usually it's 'what are you', that people ask me. Though it's been almost a century since I have revealed myself to a mortal."

A century? Your mouth dries, and you feel something akin to fear course through your veins. But you aren't scared of him for some reason. Wary, suspicious, but not scared. 

"You're different though, you seem to have at least a diminutive amount of knowledge of my realm." 

You want to get angry at that comment. You'd like to consider yourself well informed and educated on all supernatural and magickal subjects. There'd always be more to learn though, and the human brain simply could not grasp it in its entirety. So he wasn't wrong. 

You're still saying nothing, dazed from his presence. So he continues. 

"You were right when you said fae folk." He assures. 

"You're a fairy?" You whisper, wonder dazzling in your voice.

At that he laughs again, and you swear you hear small chimes behind it.

"An elf. I believe that is the universal name humans gave us. Not all fae are fairies, there are others too." 

As he speaks, he lets go of your hand, bringing his fingers up to brush strands of hair from your face. His touch is warm, for some reason that shocks you. 

"Elf." You repeat, not a question, but a statement.

He hums, in agreement and starts to twirl you around again. His hand resting on your cheek, thumb brushing featherlight touches against it. 

You're trying very hard to wrap your head around the entire scenario. You shouldn't be surprised. You've dealt with other worldly things in the past. Spiritual realms are completely different from anything having to do with the fae world though. 

Worry floods through you again once you realize what's happening. 

"Am I being punished?" You lip quivers as you speak, "I-I was just trying to collec-"

He's bringing his head down, his forehead meeting yours. You feel the cold bite of the silver headpiece touching your skin. It's enough to shut you up.

"Shhh, darling. Don't view it as a punishment." 

"I don't want to dance until I pass out." You slowly say, even though your body feels otherwise.

Underneath the initial shock and caution, you still felt that overwhelming happiness. It was borderline euphoric... and strangely arousing. 

Everything happening inside your mind and body right now was so confusing. You were feeling lost, and found yourself clinging to the man--the elf, before you. 

"You pretty creature, don't worry. Danser dans le ronds de sorcières... that's for children." 

French? This being was a riddle. 

"I don't understand." You force out. 

He leans back a bit, so he can look into your eyes and your thighs clench, "We tell the kids, fae and human, that if a mortal is caught within our rings. They dance to exhaustion. The humans carried this myth with them into adulthood, while our kind later learned the truth of these special rings." 

He's still dancing with you, moving your body elegantly to a now imaginary song. Leading you in something reminiscent of a waltz, but you can barely focus on that when his touches are electric against your skin. 

"The truth?" You ask. 

He's dipping you down now, bending with your body as he once again is peering into your eyes. At first you think it's part of the dance. Until your back meets the land that was underneath your feet. The mixture of smells was potent. The scent of damp moss, and semi-sweet foliage filling your nose. 

He hums again, "It was never an entire lie, it always started off with dancing." 

The timbre of his voice was pooling wetness in your panties. You felt beads of sweat forming on your brow, and you were bewildered at how your body was reacting right now. It didn't make sense. 

His body is hovering over you now, his face coming close to yours. His nose is brushing along yours before he speaks again. 

"What better way to set the mood than a passionate dance, and in this case, under the moonlight?"

You whimpered, feeling disoriented and needing his touch. 

"I don't even know your name.", was the only thing you managed to mumble. 

He chuckled, and you felt his breath puff against your lips, "It's unimportant darling, but since you're so... alluring. You can call me Felix... I'd love to hear it rolling off your tongue when I make you cum."

You were mewling at the thought of fucking this mystical being, when you felt his lips against yours.

He was almost lazy in the way he kissed you. Seemingly in no rush at all. And it's not that you were complaining, but you wanted more. So you wrapped your arms around his neck, forcing his body flush with yours. 

He was smiling against your lips now, and you took the opportunity to swipe your tongue across his bottom lip, begging for access. 

"So eager. Patience little dove. You'll get what you desire and more." 

You knew it was absurd to lust after a man--an elf, gods how could you keep forgetting that, that you just met. But your body was burning and it felt like he was your only rescue. 

His hands wandered your body, groping and massaging every inch. 

He had your leg wrapped around him, his hand trailing down the back of your thigh and his lips attached to your neck. He was marking you with what you imagined to be the most beautiful bruises. You were panting at this point, and it felt ridiculous to be this turned on by so little. By a stranger. But it didn't make you want to stop.

His fingers reached the edge of your panties, and you gasped. You felt his smile again, he was enjoying every bit of this. You felt powerless to his strokes against you. Your hips were bucking up, chasing for friction.

His hand gripped your hip tightly, fingers squeezing into your flesh, pinning you further into the dirt. 

You hissed before whining, begging "Please."

"I said be patient." His voice was stern as he spoke against your ear.

It still didn't stop you from squirming beneath him, your mind wasn't registering anything beyond wanting to feel him filling you up. 

He brought his face back to yours, eyes gleaming and the most naughty expression written across it. 

"Fine. As you wish, little dove. But don't forget, I was trying to ease you into this." 

He tore your panties off of you, and his fingers were rubbing against you harshly, sending jolts of pleasure through you. 

"A-aaah!" You were moaning loudly, his movements jarring.

"This is what you wanted darling, isn't it?" He's muttering against your lips now, slipping his fingers into you. 

Your body feels more alive than ever, waves of pleasure washing over you. His fingers skillfully curl inside you, while his thumb works your sensitive bud. Swipe after swipe, eliciting more and more of your arousal onto his hand. 

His kiss is searing, and feels like the only thing currently keeping you anchored to your body. You felt your orgasm building quickly, the band growing tighter and tighter in your stomach. It felt like you'd float away when it snapped. 

You can't contain the lewd noises you're making. Between the moans he's swallowing from your lips, and the loud squelching from between your thighs, it was deafening. Or maybe it was just that your ears were ringing. 

It felt like only seconds later when he brought you over the edge, his movements slowing but never stopping. You're whining, and your legs are trembling but you don't want him to stop. You're nearing over sensitivity and when you close your eyes, you see nothing but stars.

All you can think of are the freckled constellations on his cheek. 

You feel drunk on this moment, and you don't want it to end. It's as if he knows exactly where your mind is when he speaks again.

"You're not done little dove, don't you worry your pretty little head." 

When you open your eyes, and tilt your head up, his shirt and pants are discarded. Revealing a dizzying body. He was lithe yet chiseled. His body is almost dainty, but each muscle is carved in the most irresistible way. His abs were glorious, your eyes trail lower, following the v cut. You notice the faint spattering of a happy trail, and your eyes follow it. 

And fuck.

You've never been one to view someones cock as pretty but... his was. The tip was so swollen and pink, and leaking generous amounts of precum. Faint blue veins prominent along the shaft, and he stood tall and proud. His girth made you wonder if you could handle the stretch. It had been a while since you'd last been intimate. 

He brought his hand, covered in your slick, to his member. Spreading it all over in a mixture with his precum, making it glisten. Your mouth started to water, and your legs spread wider for him. You pulled your skirt completely up, presenting yourself to him. 

His jaw was slack, mouth hung open as he watched you, fist pumping himself slowly. 

"Such a good girl for me darling, aren't you?" He said with that charming smile. 

There was something about the way he looked at you, while doing such a perverse act that had your juices dripping down you. 

Then he was on top of you again, cock sliding into you. Your entire body tensed at the intrusion and you wailed, a mix of pain and pleasure. But it was so satisfying, you couldn't get enough. Your arms wrapped around his neck again, and he was thrusting into you at a brutal pace. 

Your back was digging into the ground, and you started to feel bits of grass and dirt against your skin. You pulled against him, trying to adjust yourself so you could lose yourself in the dance you two were now performing. 

He pulled out of you, and sat back on his knees, that's when you noticed his clothes underneath him. You had no idea he was wearing a cape earlier. It was sprawled out, creating a barrier between him and the ground. 

He picked you up, and positioned you to straddle his lap, facing him. Then he slid back into you, your eyes rolled back, and you let out a filthy moan. 

This position felt more intimate but still desperate, he was reaching deeper into you. The head of his cock pistoning against your g-spot. It felt so good you could cry. 

You were crying, you realized. 

"Shhh, little dove, you're taking it so well. It feels so good, doesn't it?" 

"Yes!" You sob. 

He's wiping the tears from your eyes with his fingers, and smiling at you like you're the most precious thing on this planet. 

"That's right, pretty. So pretty when you cry." He groans out, and his pace grows faster, rougher.

His hand dips down between you, and he's toying with your clit now. In any other circumstance, you'd be embarrassed by the way your body uncontrollably trembles. Your muscles are spasming at his touch. You just couldn't bring yourself to care, he was making you feel too good. 

"Darling," He purred, as he slowed his thrusts and pinched your clit between two fingers, rolling it, "I want you to look me in the eyes when you cum for me, can you do that?" 

You were mewling as you nodded your head frantically, feeling your peak rush towards you. 

At that he started fucking into you harshly, almost painfully, and you were coming undone with a loud cry on top of him. Your body tensed, nails digging into his shoulders, struggling not to throw your head back. His hand that was playing with you, gripped your jaw, smearing your own arousal on your face.

He was making sure you kept your word, maintaining your gaze on his while you clenched around him. Your eyes were fluttering as you tried to keep them open. He was biting his lip, eyebrows scrunched together as he fucked you through your orgasm. Watching your face contorted in pleasure. 

"So tight." He grunted.

You were scratching at him now, nails dragging down his shoulders. And your mouth was hung open in a silent scream, your voice having given up on you. 

It was becoming overwhelming. 

You still didn't want it to stop.

"I know you can take it darling, take it." He growled, gripping both your hips now to steady you.

So you did, until you were limp in his arms, and he was releasing into you with a groan. 

Your head was resting on his shoulder. Sweaty skin sticking to each other, and he was soothing you. Humming and stroking your hair gently. You were breathing heavily, trying to come down from this mind blowing experience. But you weren't descending, not mentally. You were still riding that high, stuck in a lust filled haze. 

He started to roll his hips tantalizingly slow, and you hissed at it, feeling slight pain. Mostly you were shocked he was still hard. 

His chest vibrated while he quietly laughed, "Did you forget the 'more' part, darling. I keep telling you, we're not done yet." 

You whined at the sensation of his gentle movements. 

"Shhh, there there." He's teasing you, "Are we a little sore?"

"Yes." You breathed.

"I can fix that." 

You gasped when he slid out of you, hating the fact that you felt so empty. 

He was positioning you to lay down on his clothes, taking care that no part of you touched the ground. You just let him handle you, molding your pliant body however he wanted it.

His hands were rubbing down your arms, and he was smiling down at you. When you met his eyes, you couldn't explain the exact emotions you were feeling. You'd let this man take your soul if he asked right now. 

He was licking his lips as his hand trailed back to your core. You gasped again, then whined when he dragged his fingers through your swollen folds. His touch was almost massaging, yet sensual. He was touching everywhere, teasingly avoiding your sensitive bud. 

The more he touched you, the more you writhed. And sensing another comment about how you can't be still or patient, you yanked him down to you so you could kiss him. 

You were tired of just laying there, you wanted to start giving. To start touching.

You didn't know where all this stamina came from, but you were determined to use it. You jerked your hips up, leaning more into his touch. 

It wasn't until you reached down to wrap your fingers around his length that he paused his movements. 

He was still slick with your cum. And you used that to give him slow strokes.

He let out a hoarse moan against your lips, before pressing his fingers directly on your clit, rubbing in small circles. He was matching your tempo directly. You whined into the kiss, your hand picking up pace. Pumping him faster now, and he followed your lead. 

Or so you thought, just as you felt your climax starting to build, his fingers were being pulled away. 

He took your hand off him, and then crawled down your body, coming face to face with your core. 

"So pretty, even here darling." 

You were blushing at his words, but you couldn't take your eyes off of his, as he stared at you from between your thighs. 

"Still sore? Let me make it feel better, little dove." 

And you felt his tongue lave through your folds. It was gentle and it felt hot, and it drove you crazy. The flicks of his tongue against your clit were maddening, and you wanted more. 

Your hips started slowly moving against his face, and this time he let you. He lets you roll your hips, and grind against his face. His tongue flattened against you, and you slid your hand into his blindingly white locks. You started grinding against him harshly, losing all sense and control of your body and just focusing on climaxing. 

He let himself be used by you, and as your grip in his hair tightened, so did that feeling in your stomach. You felt another orgasm come over you, and he let you ride it out, quite literally.  

You expected to start feeling spent by now, but you didn't. So before he could climb back up your body to kiss you, you were sitting up and pushing him onto his back.

He landed on it with a thud, puffing out air and looking at you incredulously. 

You let the primal urges take over as you lowered yourself onto your stomach, and took his member in your hand. You licked up the underside of his cock, your eyes never leaving his. He groaned as you watched his eyes roll into the back of his head. 

You placed a soft kiss on the tip, and licked the strings of precum off your lips. 

"Fuck..." He whispered.

"Let me return the favor." You mumbled before you took his tip between your lips.

You let your tongue swirl over it a few times, savoring his taste. He brought his hand down to your face, and pushed your hair back for you. 

You let your tongue run down the underside of his cock, and you sunk your mouth onto him. You had completely engulfed him, and were struggling not to gag. Still, you never intended to stop. 

He was grunting as your head bobbed up and down on him, saliva collecting at the corners of your mouth and dripping down to pool at his pelvis. 

"Making--ah fuck--such a mess for me, darling." He groaned. 

He lets you keep at your own pace for a while longer before he starts thrusting into you. He kept your head in place, and you gagged and tears started running down your cheeks. Each stroke became more and more erratic, until ropes of his hot cum were shooting down your throat. 

He pulled you off of him and you gulped down breaths of air. He was caressing your cheek, swiping a mix of tears, spit and cum from your lips before kissing you. 

That's how you both continued throughout the night. Pleasuring each other, nearly non-stop, under the moonlight. Your mind was fractured, nothing else but him existed inside of it. He'd touched, fondled, massaged, and embraced you, until you could only respond with breathy whispers of his name. 

"Felix..." You sighed, when he was bringing feeling back to your numb legs by massaging them.

"Felix..." You moaned, as he slowly took you as you both laid on your sides.

"Felix..." You screamed as you came undone on top of him, riding him roughly.

He took you in many different positions, and you indulge yourself in each one. When he wasn't fucking you, you were whining in complaint and going down on him. If he wasn't going down on you, he was edging you with his fingers. Your hands never left each other's bodies, always needing connection. You were sure he was just as familiar with your body as you were by this point. 

The exhaustion finally hit when he had you on your back in a mating press. The last thing you remember, is staring up into the twilight sky. Dawn was approaching, the stars were disappearing before your eyes, as the golden glow of the sun started to peek through. 

Your eyes were fluttering as you fought unconsciousness, determined to finish fucking this completely ethereal creature. Felix was barely putting in an effort to fuck you, but he still slid in and out of you at an agonizingly slow pace, as if he wanted to keep your orgasm at bay. You both wanted to extend this moment in time, but your body wouldn't have that.

When you finally let go, cumming on his cock for what felt like the hundredth time. That's when your eyes shut and you gave into the exhaustion. 

The familiar scent of nag champa incense filled your nostrils as you started to come to. 

Your bedroom, permanently infused with your favorite scent to burn, that's where you were. The familiar feel of your sheets beneath you, and your heavy comforter confirmed that.  

Your mind still felt a little cloudy as you started to recall how you got to your bed from the forest. 

That's when you feel a body next to you and your eyes shot open.

"Felix?" You croaked, your voice dry and hoarse.

He was laying next to you on his side, in your bed, in your house. 

He had the blankets pulled up to his waist, and was resting his head on his hand. Elbow propped up, so he could see you better. He was shirtless and he wore that same smile on his face, like he was so fond of you.

"Is that still the only thing you can say, little dove?" He whispered teasingly. 

"How- I mean, why-?" You stutter as you attempt to sit up in bed, but your entire body aches. 

You hiss at the burning sensation you felt between your legs. And your legs, gods, you don't think that they've ever felt so sore. 

"Easy darling, you need to rest." He said as he helped you sit up. 

He reached over to his side of the bed and handed you a glass of water, motioning for you to drink. 

You eyed him curiously as you sipped your water, finishing it rather quickly when you realized how thirsty you were. 

"I ran you a bath and kept it hot, when you're ready we should wash you up more." 

"More?" You questioned him.

"I did clean you up last night, I'm not a monster. The bath will help ease your muscles." He chuckled.

"How did you even know where I live?" 

"It's not hard to figure out, we weren't that far from it. Your house is the only one for miles." 

You still felt guarded around him, even after the night you shared. If the stories your mother told you turned out to be partially true, you could only imagine what other lore could turn out to be true. 

Now this mischievous creature knew where you lived, he was in your home.

"I know this is your sacred space little dove, I don't intend to intrude. However, I couldn't exactly leave you in the state you were in. How are you feeling? Is your head a little clearer?" He spoke softly as he brushed his fingers through your hair. 

It is. Almost all of that dazed feeling was gone, you felt more lucid. In that clarity though, a rush of embarrassment hit you. You felt your skin heat up at the more clear memories of last night. 

You were never the type for hookups or one night stands, yet the things you did with this perfect stranger... This perfect magickal stranger... they felt unspeakable. You'd never lost yourself so completely in someone else's presence, much less with your own... sessions. 

You hide your face in your hands and rub at your temples, trying to make sense of this entire situation. Of your own feelings. You didn't exactly regret it or hate it. Something still felt off. Not only was the entire act abnormal in general, and downright questionable. But it was so out of character for you. Did he use... compulsions? Did he have that type of magick?

"Thinking too hard will just exhaust you more." He said.

"Look..." You sigh, as you turn to face him, "I'm a little lost here, I don't know what to make of this all." 

Next thing you know, he's off the bed. He's picking you up in his arms, and you notice you're both still nude. Your face flushes again at that, and you struggle a bit in his arms.

"Be calm darling, I'm just taking you to the tub. We can talk about it all." 

You let him place you in the tub, and then he's sliding in behind you. Slotting you between his legs. He's pulling you back towards him, so you lay against his chest. You both sit like that for a few moments, absorbing the heat from the bath and getting used to each other in a new type of intimate way.

You should be kicking him out of your house. You should be cussing him out. Defending yourself, but why didn't you feel the need to defend yourself against him? Why were you drawn to him? 

When you think about the facts, some would say you were attacked last night. I mean there's a reason the Fae call it a punishment You didn't feel attacked though. You enjoyed yourself, as crazy as that is to say. 

You always knew you were an adventurous soul, but you never thought to this extent. 

How do you come to terms with actually feeling okay with this whole thing, when you knew you shouldn't be?

"You're a witch, right?" He suddenly asks you, breaking your train of thought. 

"I am... though I'm beginning to question the validity of that title, seeing as I have an actual magical creature behind me." You mumble. 

You knew the magick you practiced was real. You could feel it. It's not like you could create fire though, or move things, or transfigure things in front of you. You weren't even sure Felix could do any of that as an elf. You weren't sure of anything anymore. 

You felt like you were entering an existential crisis. Panic was starting to settle within you when you felt his chest vibrate with laughter, it was an oddly soothing sensation that you know you've felt before.

"No, you are. I can sense it, it's in your blood. It took me a while to piece it together, but you are a witch through and through. Sometimes humans don't know of their tie to the magickal world, but I figured... from your altar, among other objects and ingredients I've noticed here, that you knew." 

You hummed, your mother always told you that you were a part of a long line of witches. She raised you heavily within her practice. You never doubted her, but somehow this new revelation made it so much more real. You realize this was opening a whole new aspect in your own practice. A hidden world, seemingly waiting for your return.

"Is that why you came to me? Because you sensed a witch was near?" You questioned him, your hands playing with the water. 

"No, you stepped inside my fairy ring. I have to say I was shocked. I placed it in, what I thought was, an inconspicuous area. I hadn't realized your home was nearby."

"Okay, I'm going to need you to explain." You sighed. 

"Well... you already know what I told you yesterday. The stories you were told, were passed down by your ancestors and other mortals in general. You don't really just dance in fairy rings, that's a small fib we tell the children. As more human children found the rings, when we'd find them dancing. We'd send them off, warning them if they came in again that we would have them dancing until they faint. When our own children wandered into them curiously, we'd tell them the same thing until it became time for them to learn. It's just something stupid the ancestors came up with, I don't know... It does always start out with a courting dance though, but the main reason for them is, inside a fairy ring... you mate. They're essentially a part of an ancient mating ritual."

At that you nearly jumped up to smack him, but he was a step ahead of you. His arms tightened around your body, pinning your arms to your chest. 

"MATING?!" You screamed at him, trying to turn your head and make eye contact, "I don't fucking wan-" 

"Please, calm down little dove. It's not possible for me to actually breed you. That requires an entirely different ritual, one that hasn't been performed in centuries. I'm not even sure anyone would know how to perform it these days..." He trails off. 

"So then why even lay these stupid Fae traps for humans anyways?!" You screech. 

"They're not traps, and they're not meant for humans." He says defensively, and you can hear the pouting in his tone, "Think of it like this. You know how some penguins build big and pretty nests to attract a mate? It's kind of like that. It's a lot to explain in detail, and I had to create one. Now that I'm of age, it's expected of me to find a partner. Even if I don't find the need to." 

"And why do they exist in this realm if they're not meant for us?"

"Well, a long time ago, back when there was only this realm, and there were more Fae than humans, they came across one. That fairy was so angry at the human for intruding on something so intimate of his, and he threatened the human with a punishment. Before any of the other Fae could stop him, he entered the ring. When they both were inside of it, they were overcome with the magic of the ring. The courting dance had started, and no one else was able to enter. The desire for each other grew. In his anger he must've forgotten what the ring's intention was, and was only focused on punishing the human. But he never got that far. They ended up... mating. They never separated from that night, spending their lives together. It was millenia ago. It created an uproar though. Our kinds had never joined before that way."

You sat and listened, calming down a bit as he told you this story.

"There were battles, not an outright war but there might as well have been. They grew to love each other, and they led the winnings of those battles to stay together. They opened the door for Fae and humans to be together, but it has always been frowned upon from both sides."

There was an entire history of this world that you had never known. One that you could never even imagine to be true. But it is. Before your mind let you delve into it though, you thought back to something he said.

"Overcome with magic? These rings hold compulsions over beings?" You questioned hastily, needing to confirm your suspicions. 

"No. It's not like that..." He sighed, "Didn't you feel different last night?" He continues, "The mushrooms release something like a pheromone. An aphrodisiac, to enhance your sexual stamina. Among other mood boosting and energy boosting properties. It starts by uplifting your mood, making you feel the happiest you've ever been. Then you start dancing, your energy building up in preparation for what's to come. It's not until your partner enters that the aphrodisiacs start releasing. But it doesn't just take away your consent like that. Both parties have to be willing... it needs to be mutual. Though that's not to say that's not how every instance turns out. Evil exists in all realms." 

You shivered at his words, trying to process everything. You could clearly remember the primal urges taking over, the need to constantly be filled. It explained that off feeling, why you were acting so out of character. But you couldn't deny that you had wanted it. 

Craved it. 

You never tried to stop it, never wanted to stop it... In fact you initiated it to an extent. 

He started talking again, "That's why I couldn't just leave you there. Especially not in that forest, where other creatures lurk and might find you. I never felt anything dark there, but that doesn't mean it won't come along. I brought you home. I cleaned you up, I made you drink because you were getting dehydrated. I cared for you."

He was loosening his grip around you to rub your shoulders. It made you think back to the skilled massages he gave you last night, in between all of the sex. He made sure to take care of you the whole night it seemed.

"But none of this answers my question from earlier, why not place the rings in your own realm now? Why would any of the Fae place them here?" You asked.

"There are many different reasons..." He mumbled, "Some of them do it because they want to experience sex with a willing human. Some of them do use them as traps for humans, and those Fae are disgraceful, downright evil. Most of those types have been banished from the realm I come from. But some are like me. We try to hide them, from everyone. Because even though we're required to have them, we don't want to use them."

Then you thought back to his previous words, "Wait... 'find your partner' you said? Are we- do we have some sort of bond now?"

The silence was thick in the air. You waited for him to speak, but he didn't, so you turned around in the tub to face him. Your legs spread out on top of his, as you half straddled his lap. 

His eyes stared into yours, expressionless. It was much colder than his usual warm aura, so you grabbed his hand to hold it, and asked again in a softer tone, "Do we?" 

"We don't have to. It's not permanent. Most Fae who get humans within their rings leave them there once they've passed out anyways. Humans don't have the same stamina as we do, even with their boosted energy from the ring. The first woman passed out, that's where the ancestors got their silly tale from." He spoke tightly, like he was debating even revealing this bond at all. 

"I see." You replied, even though you had many more questions and didn't have a full grasp on it all. 

Not much made sense. In a span of hours you found out the true existence of a hidden realm, and these magickal creatures. You met one, you slept with him, then you actually slept with him, and now you bathe with him. You talk with him, as if all of this is a normal day.

It should all unsettle you more than it actually does. You should be freaking out, 100% meltdown level. This is the story of fairy tales, and maybe not a good one. This could be the big bad wolf and you could be little red riding hood. But somehow, you were comfortable in his presence. Comfortable enough to want to spend more time with him. To learn more, about him, his world, and this new bond. 

So you leaned forward and wrapped your arms around his neck, giving his lips a small peck. 

"Maybe we could... figure it out together? See what happens next, if you explain more to me, that is." 

His eyes lit up with hope, and his charming smile returned to his face. The thought that you could wake up every day to that smile entered your head quicker than you could blink.

You'd figure something out. You had to. He couldn't leave your life now. Not when it seemed like it was just getting started thanks to him.

Taglist:

@eczlipse @sailor--sun @maisyyyyyy @jupire @prettiichocolateprincess

@meowmeowminnie @joyofbebbanburg @adieu-lisette @sleeping-beau-tay @staytinyluv

@lookitsjess @majorlymismanaged @kpopsstuffs @helloimacalumgirl @bbokarimenu

@bubblepop-stay @mauvemelon @ohhlittlegirl @ang4lheart @spnwinchestersd

@adieu-lisette @loud-minhoe @juwire @anylady-fics @antisocialties

@nebugalaxy @wowitsafemale @irrevocable-exposure

As always, please let me know if you'd like to join the taglist. And if you do, pretty please interact with my fics besides liking (ie; replying/commenting/reblogging). Although I will always appreciate liking as well! Feedback is always cherished! ♡

But again, please be gentle in your criticism! I am but a sensitive soul.

[leriexoxo]

Angry Boys - Felix

Bronze Again?

Tags: unprotected sex, rough/angry sex, light humiliation and degradation, semi-public sex, possessive behavior, power imbalance (consensual), overstimulation/ mild dumbification, smut, MDNI

Word count: 1.5k

This work contains mature themes, MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!!

ANGRY BOYS MASTERLIST

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

It started off stupid. Harmless.

Felix had just lost a match. Lost it bad.

You could tell it was over the moment his headset clattered onto the desk—tossed like it personally betrayed him. His bottom lip jutted out in a pretty pout, brows furrowed while he mumbled curses under his breath. Onscreen, his death recap played in slow motion, like it wanted to mock him, too.

From the living room, Changbin’s laugh cracked loud and sharp.

“Yo! Bronze Yongbok’s back, baby!”

Then Jisung chimed in, wheezing: “Uninstall, man. Even Hyunjin could out-frag you at this point.”

You were curled up on his bed, watching the drama unfold with mild amusement. Scrolling aimlessly through your phone, trying not to giggle.

But then you said it. The one thing you didn’t mean to say aloud:

“Maybe I should carry you next time, baby. Could boost you to silver—at least.”

The silence that followed?

Heavy. Absolute.

Your gaze flicked up just in time to catch Felix turning from the monitor, slow and mechanical. His brows didn’t move. His mouth didn’t twitch. But his eyes—those pretty, doll-like eyes—hardened into something unreadable. Cold. Controlled.

Like you’d just hit a switch you didn’t know existed.

“You think that’s funny?” he asked quietly.

You paused, phone still in hand, trying not to smile. “Kinda…”

His jaw tensed. Just once. “You’re teasing me in front of them?”

“Lix, I—”

You didn’t even finish.

He stood up.

Snatched your phone right out of your hand, tossed it onto the desk hard enough to make it bounce, then grabbed your waist with one hand and hauled you into his lap as he dropped back into the gaming chair.

Your heart raced. Your breath hitched.

This wasn’t playful.

“Felix—?”

“You like teasing me, yeah?” His voice dropped lower, now a hiss. His hand gripped the back of your neck, forcing you to hold his stare. “Let’s see if you think it’s still cute when I make this whole dorm hear how fucking diamond I can be.”

You didn’t even see him coming.

One second your shirt was still on—then Felix was yanking it over your head, fast and rough, tossing your phone aside like it disgusted him. You gasped as your back hit his chest again, body hauled into his lap like he owned you.

And god—he did.

“I said,” he growled, low in your ear, “you like teasing me, right?”

His fingers slid beneath your waistband, not even bothering with finesse. Your breath caught as he shoved your panties to the side and palmed your bare heat—already soaked. You tried to clench your thighs, tried to stop your hips from moving, but his legs were spread wide beneath you and you were pinned open.

The chair creaked.

From the living room, you could still hear Jisung laughing, Changbin talking over him.

They had no idea what was happening in here.

Not yet.

Felix kissed your shoulder, slow and mocking. “Door’s open,” he whispered. “Say something smart now.”

You froze.

He knew. He knew exactly what he was doing—what he wanted them to hear.

His hands gripped your hips and rocked you against his cock, still hard and straining in his briefs, dragging up along your folds. You whimpered, trying to hold it in—but that made it worse. He just groaned, biting down on your neck as you squirmed.

“Aw. Embarrassed now?” he teased. “Didn’t sound so shy when you were running your mouth earlier.”

You slapped a hand over your mouth, but he caught it and pinned it behind your back with one hand.

“Nope. They’re gonna hear everything.”

He tugged your shorts down just enough to get access—just enough to ruin you—and then he was pushing in. No warning. Just heat, pressure, stretch.

You cried out.

Loud.

Changbin’s laugh stuttered. Somewhere, something clattered.

Felix smiled.

“Oh, they definitely heard that.”

Your scream still echoed down the hallway when Felix shoved in all the way.

No mercy. No patience. Just punishment.

The chair slammed against the floor, jerking under every snap of his hips. Your thighs trembled on either side of his, one foot slipping off the armrest from how hard he was fucking up into you. Slick sounds filled the room—sticky, wet, obscene—and they were nothing compared to your voice.

Because you were loud. So loud.

And outside?

Not a single sound now.

Jisung had stopped laughing.

Changbin had gone dead quiet.

Not even a breath from the hallway.

But Felix wasn’t satisfied.

He fisted your hair and yanked your head back, growling into your ear, “Scream louder. Let ‘em know who fucking owns you.”

You shook your head, tears prickling at the corners of your eyes—not from pain, but from how much you needed him, how deep he was, how wrecked you already felt.

“Felix—Felix, please—”

“Please, what?” His teeth grazed your throat. “Please stop?”

You were panting now, moaning through your answer. “No…”

“That’s right,” he hissed, driving into you harder. “So take it. Take every fucking rank I’m giving you.”

He slapped your thigh, spreading you wider. Your legs twitched, overstimulated and locked into his pace. Your voice cracked on a cry, and then—

“Fuck!”

It ripped from your chest without your permission. Raw. Desperate.

A slam from somewhere down the hall. Footsteps scrambling.

Felix grinned.

“There it is,” he laughed, fucking into you harder. “Dorm’s finally listening.”

You reached back blindly, trying to grab his wrist—tap out, slow him down, something—but he only caught your arm and pinned it behind you again, pushing you down onto the desk this time, folding your body in half.

“Who’s bronze now?” he growled, hammering you into the wood.

You couldn’t speak. Couldn’t even breathe through the way you were unraveling, overstimulated and crying his name.

Felix dragged your face up by the hair and made you look at the open door.

“You wanna tease me in front of them?” His voice was sharp, furious, filthy. “Let them see who you belong to next time.”

And just like that, you came again—loud, messy, broken.

And somewhere in the dorm, a door closed.

Maybe in horror.

Maybe in shame.

But you and Felix? Didn’t stop.

—

You didn’t remember falling limp.

One second you were full of him, legs shaking, throat raw from screaming—

The next, you were in his arms. Warm. Floaty. Boneless.

Felix held you against his chest, one arm locked around your waist while the other gently pushed your hair from your sweaty face. You could still feel him inside you, twitching with aftershocks, but he wasn’t moving now. Just keeping you close. Letting you breathe.

“Still with me, baby?” he whispered, his voice hoarse but gentle now.

You managed a nod—barely.

“Did so good,” he murmured, kissing your temple. “So fucking good for me.”

Your cheek pressed to his collarbone, heartbeat thudding wildly. You were exhausted, sore, thoroughly used—and so impossibly turned on by how soft he was suddenly being.

Then…

From down the hallway, a door creaked. A cautious footstep.

Felix grinned against your skin. “Thought I told them to shut the fuck up.”

You groaned. “Felix…”

“They heard every second of you begging,” he whispered proudly. “Bet they’ll mute their mics for the next week just to avoid hearing you again.”

Your face burned, burying into his neck. “You left the door open on purpose?”

“Maybe,” he smirked. “Next time, you gonna call me Bronze in front of the boys?”

“…No,” you muttered.

“What was that?”

You sighed, louder. “No, Felix.”

“That’s what I thought.”

He kissed your shoulder, easing you off his lap. His hands stayed on you, rubbing your back while he reached for a towel from his desk drawer—God help you, he had that shit ready.

As he helped you clean up, you glanced toward the door—still wide open.

“Do you think they saw—”

“Doesn’t matter,” Felix interrupted. “You’re mine. Let them hear it. Let them know.”

He tugged one of his oversized hoodies over your head, guiding your wobbly legs back into bed. Then he dropped a kiss to your thigh before climbing in behind you, arm draped over your waist.

“…Still wanna carry me next game?” he asked, lips brushing your ear.

You exhaled a laugh. “Not unless I want to die.”

“Smart girl.”

You didn’t say anything after that. Just lay there, chest rising and falling, still throbbing with aftershocks while Felix curled around you like he hadn’t just ruined you for life.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Authors note: Finally wrote something about the “Bronze” issue 😂 Guys guys! I need those notes to go uppppp! Gimme the likes, reblogs and comments thank you!!! Look out for the other members on the masterlist

Taglist: @tsunderelino @innieandsungielover @inlovewithstraykids @reignessance @jeonismm @sttnficrecs @herejusttemporary @krssliu @sagestarlight @kenia4 @miilquetoast @thackery-blinks @leeminho-hall @suga-is-bae @butterflydemons @inejghafawifesblog @malunar28replies @minchanlimbo @mal-lunar-28 @breakmeofftbr @itvenorica124 @slut4junho @deepblueocean97 @thequibbie @yaorzu-blog @imagine-all-the-imagines @just-bria @mischievousleeknow @mythicmochi @universeyuto @ifyxu @melanctton @thelostprincessofasgard @binniebb @sillylittlecat1 @darkwitchoferie @m-325 @headfirstfortoro @imseungminsgf @ihrtlix @vernorica123 @hwangjoanna @cinnomonz

[hyunjinners]

✧:･ﾟHeartache → Stray Kids x reader ˚₊· ꒰🍃꒱

꒰ 命 𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘 ꒱┊ during an argument, they raise their voice at you, uttering hurtful words.

꒰ 命 𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 ꒱┊ maknae line! x fem! reader 

꒰ 命 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐑𝐄 ꒱┊ discussion, angst, established relationship.

꒰ 命 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 ꒱┊ shouting, insults, fights, anxiety, insecurities (on both sides). Any scenarios, names and groups mentioned are pure fiction! Similarities to real events are purely coincidental. × In some scenarios not everyone is an idol. ×

꒰ 命 𝐖.𝐂 ꒱┊ 2,4k

꒰ 命 𝐀/𝐍 ꒱┊ I finally got the inspiration to release the second part of Runaway! If you haven't read the first part, I suggest you go there first :) English is not my first language! I apologize in advance for any spelling and/or grammar mistakes. Let me know if you would like to be added to the taglist. Enjoy reading! ^-^

⊹₊˚ʚ❛masterlist❜ɞ

𝐉𝐈𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐆¡!

Jisung has always been in love with you. You’ve known each other since high school and have always had a strong friendship, never caring about unpleasant comments questioning the possibility of a friendship between a man and a woman. Consequently, over time, he fell in love with you more and more each day he spent by your side, but he never confessed, and you never showed that you felt the same because you wanted to hide it at all costs. Jisung was always very popular because of his talents, so you never thought you deserved to date someone as amazing as him.

Time passed, you were both adults, and Jisung ended up debuting as an idol. Even after so many years, he never had the courage to tell you how he felt, so he just suppressed his feelings. After a long time, he got involved with an idol he met during his trainee days. You didn’t know this, as he couldn’t reveal it to the media, but even when he had the opportunity to tell you, he couldn’t muster the courage. Perhaps his deepest feelings held him back.

You were at Jisung's dorm for a movie marathon, taking advantage of his day off. He got up to go to the bathroom, leaving you to choose what you were going to watch. Jisung's phone, which was beside you on the couch, was vibrating desperately. You were never intrusive, but Jisung had never stopped you from touching his things. Thinking it might be one of the boys or even Jisung's staff wanting to warn him about something, you picked up his phone and checked his notifications.

The contact of a woman, with a heart emoji next to her name, lit up the phone screen, with several messages saying she missed him and that she would visit Jisung in his dorm later. You knew you had no right to meddle in Jisung's life, but the fact that he had hidden this from you, even though you were supposedly someone he trusted, hurt you deeply. When he returned, he was confused by the sad expression on your face. “What happened, little one? Are you okay?” He was utterly confused until he noticed his phone in your hands. His expression shifted from concern to irritation in a matter of seconds. “What were you doing?”

“When were you going to tell me, Jisung? Why... I don’t understand. Are you with someone? Why didn’t you tell me? Since when have you become so cowardly as to forget your trust in me?” At this point, you were both standing, staring at each other, your upset expressions obvious. “And since when do I have to give you any explanations, huh?” He didn’t know why he was so angry, but his confused feelings were preventing him from being clear at this moment. “WE’RE FRIENDS, JISUNG! I’m not just anyone you can simply ignore. I care about you too, you idiot.” Despite your raised tone fueled by anger, you tried to explain your feelings, but Jisung just couldn’t hear you at that moment.

“MAYBE IF YOU WEREN’T ACTING LIKE A FANATIC, I COULD HAVE TOLD YOU!” He exploded, gesturing wildly in complete desperation.

Silence. Those three seconds of silence felt like three hours. This chilling silence was broken by your faint sniffles. You raised your hands to hide your tears. Turning away from him, Jisung could tell he felt shattered inside at that moment. Your tears brought him back to his cruel current reality. “Fanatic? I... I’m not a fan of yours, Jisung. To be honest, now I’m just an idiot who trusted you.”

You didn’t bother to grab your jacket; you just ran to the door. As you opened it, you bumped into Jisung's girlfriend. He tried to run after you, but it was already too late. Now, all he could do was cry—not just because of the argument but because the arms that comforted him weren’t the ones he wanted.

𝐅𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐗¡!

You had been in a relationship for a little over three years. After Felix proposed to you, you both moved to Busan so you could settle into a calm life before getting married. He was a kindergarten teacher, and you opened a small café near the house you were finishing paying off together. You were the typical cute couple, never having serious fights and always being very happy with each other. Even though the life you both dreamed of was almost finally stable and fulfilled, Felix's family didn’t accept the life he was living. Felix was born with a silver spoon in his mouth, so his family expected him to live like an heir prince; however, he chose to live a quiet life with you, which was clearly reason enough for his family to dislike you.

With only a few months left until the wedding, Felix’s father was making his life a living hell, doing everything he could to make Felix give up on you. For this reason, Felix had been depressed for several days. You didn’t know what was going on, and he didn’t want to tell you so you wouldn’t get upset, which left you increasingly worried about his condition. He wasn’t eating properly, woke up many times in the middle of the night, and always got startled when the phone or the doorbell rang.

During a walk you took on weekends, throughout the entire route, you noticed he was hyperventilating, and every time you asked him about it, he would just force a smile and say it was nothing. When you were on the corner heading back home, you finally mustered the courage to question him. “Felix… please, don’t lie to me.” You grabbed his arm, making him stop. He looked back at you, his expression completely exhausted. “Lie about what? I already told you it’s nothing. Please, leave me alone.”

His tone wasn’t angry—it was more tired. He didn’t want to be so rude, but the pressure his father was putting on him had really messed with his mental health. He freed himself from your weak grip, quickly walking home.

After you entered your small and cozy living room, while Felix was taking off his jacket, you stopped in front of him in another attempt to make him talk.

“Don’t you trust me? Felix, I’m not here to judge you. I’m really, sincerely worried about you.”

He just ignored your desperation, going upstairs to the bathroom. You followed him without a second thought, determined to make him speak. “Love, you can count on me! I—”

“COULD YOU PLEASE STOP?! Please, I’m begging you, let me breathe! Just for a moment.”

He stopped at the top of the stairs, making you stop halfway up. You were startled by the look Felix gave you. He had never, ever, yelled at you. You weren’t angry with him, but it did affect you in some way. Before you could say anything else, you just apologized, walking past him and locking yourself in the bedroom.

He immediately rushed to the bedroom door as soon as you entered, his hand hovering over it, wondering if he should knock or not. He rested his forehead right there, finally allowing himself to cry after holding back for days. He really needed this relationship to work.

He couldn’t live without you.

𝐒𝐄𝐔𝐍𝐆𝐌𝐈𝐍¡!

Seungmin was the ideal partner from your point of view. He was a surgeon and heir to a hospital franchise, and you were a dermatologist from a family of politicians. People always had high expectations of your relationship: from your family and friends to the media, which saw you as a reference. Seungmin wasn’t exactly the temperamental type of man; to be honest, he always preferred to withdraw from problems until things calmed down so he could resolve the situation clearly and organized. However, the course of the days was draining all his patience and usual calm. The hospital was chaotic, and Seungmin’s father was dumping all his frustrations on his son, leaving him stressed.

Your father met with you earlier during a lunch that was apparently a family gathering but turned out to be another ploy for his threats. There were some problems happening in politics, so he needed some distraction for his troubles, and obviously, your marriage would be the perfect target. He wanted you to announce a pregnancy as soon as possible so that the media could focus on you, giving him time to sweep everything under the rug. You didn’t give your father an answer, saying you would think about it. Seungmin was clearly irritated with him but said nothing.

At this moment, you were lying on your bed, finishing reading your book while waiting for Seungmin to finish changing after taking a long hot shower in an attempt to calm himself down… which didn’t exactly work. He sits next to you, so you close your book, looking into his tired and irritated eyes. “babe…”

“Are you really going to keep going with this?” Seungmin interrupts you, his expression neutral. However, behind his eyes, there’s a clear flame of disappointment and a bit of anger. Not at you, but at this moment, he didn’t care to distinguish where it came from. “What do you mean?” you ask, confused. “You no longer live for yourself. Are you really going to keep doing your father’s will?”

“Seungmin, he just wants what’s best for both of us-”

“HE DOESN’T CARE ABOUT YOU! He never cared and won’t in the future. You’re just a means for him to get rid of the media. Are you really that naïve?”

You look at him dumbfounded, feeling not just sadness but pure shock. Deep down, you knew he was right, but his bluntness truly shook you. You don’t hide your tears but say nothing. You just get up, leaving to God knows where, leaving him behind with a heavy heart. “I’m sorry…”

𝐉𝐄𝐎𝐍𝐆𝐈𝐍¡!

You and Jeongin had been trainees for just over a year. You both started around the same time, so you were relatively close… or almost that. For some unknown reason, Jeongin decided that he would hate you to death. From the first time you performed together, he would look you up and down as if he didn’t want you to breathe in the same space as him. What you didn’t know was that Jeongin was hopelessly in love with you, but since this relationship would never be possible if it depended on the company, he masked his feelings with anger, so you wouldn’t get close to him in any way and make the situation worse for him.

JYP prepared a project, a program aimed at presenting the two groups that would debut: the boy group Stray Kids and the girl group M4ya, the group you were part of. During one of the stages, the proposal was to unite the units of each group, with the objective of exploring their talents. As the main vocal of M4ya, you ended up getting the project alongside Seungmin and Jeongin. In the beginning, you were mostly nervous because you never understood his behavior and were afraid you would end up fighting. You trained together for hours, adjusting your vocals while giving and receiving tips from each other.

It was a very important project, since it would be the first time you were doing something independently, without the help of vocal teachers, just relying on your learned abilities. Seungmin was being a great help to you, since, as you were nervous, your voice wasn’t coming out the way you wanted. Maybe a little insecurity was also clouding your mind, so Seungmin offered to help. At the end of the recordings, you politely bowed, thanking him for his help and effort. When Seungmin left, leaving just you and Jeongin, he rolled his eyes at you while speaking calmly, “It doesn’t surprise me that your voice was failing so much. You look like a chicken in the butcher shop before being sold, you’re shaking so much.” You stared at him, this time tired of his teasing.

“You know, I’ve really been ignoring your behavior the whole time I’ve known you, but I would like to know why you’re like this. I never did anything to you!”

“So you think you’re a saint?” He let out a small, disdainful laugh. “No wonder you’re so snobby.”

“Then tell me, Jeongin! WHY? Why do I deserve so much criticism?” He massaged his temples, his voice was irritated at that moment. “WHY CAN’T YOU STOP BEING SO INSECURE?! So, you need that much validation, huh? Spare me.” He laughed, turning his back while fixing his bag, ready to go to the dorm. However, not long after, he stood frozen in place upon hearing your sniffles. You ran your hand over your face, hiding it from Jeongin. You didn’t want to cry in front of him, but you were too sensitive at that moment.

“You know, Jeongin, I shouldn’t justify myself to you, but I’ve always tried my best to get here, and all I hear in return for my effort is criticism after criticism. So, yes, maybe I am a little insecure girl who doesn’t know where to go without validation, just like you said. Just don’t come any closer, please. Leave me alone.” He was shocked, not having processed the situation. He never thought it could come to this point, and now he was agonizing with hatred, surprisingly, for himself. “I messed up so much now.” He crouched on the floor, running his hand through his hair in a desperate attempt to contain his tears of pure frustration.

ε ї з — like × reblog! by: @hyunjinners ❜ɞ

ε ї з — taglist: @oc3anfloor @apple-kiwi

[thewinter-eden]

insecurity pt. III // lf texts

Title: Insecurity pt III Genre: fake texts, friends to lovers, angst, hurt/comfort Pairing: idol/baker bsf!Felix x fem!reader

Summary: You and your best friend Felix love to bake together, and lately he has been ON FIRE with the pastries. Unfortunately, being secretly in love with Felix, you start to worry that his habit (love language) of sharing his treats with you is causing you to gain too much weight.

notes: thank you @ramadiiiisme for all the help and inspiration (and the request <3 )

Warnings: themes of concern over weight gain, Felix being kinda dense...

Comment a request to be tagged!

SS: 14

(ignore the time stamps)(time is separated by convo change pretty much)

< prev part | next part >

Let me know what you think!

tag list : (I forgot to tag everybody sorry) @amarecerasus @kumariiai @diekleinesuesse @captainchrisstan @0omillo0 @katexstay @younggwingss @darlingsoulbeautifulthoughts @feetoffthemalfoy @seungminsapuppy @stilldontknowhoiam

[0omillo0]

Felix angst/comfort (you can use this for the clingy series) where Felix feels the constant need to spend time with Y/N ( also rip this hits home for me) and Y/N is, for the first time in their life, not clingy. Like Felix perceives their actions as clingy but in their mind they feels free and as least clingy as they’ve ever been. And then Felix does the whole calls them clingy. And they have to take a moment because they, for once, felt so confident in themselves that they weren’t being clingy, and now they are second guessing themselves. (This is weirdly personal, I’ve been here before, please give mega angst but even more comfort)

Calling you clingy

Felix x Reader ; angst -> comfort

a/n: I hope this is what you wanted! merry christmas loves

Felix had always been a gentle, steady presence in your life—a warmth you could lean into when the world felt cold. His kindness had a way of pulling you out of your head, grounding you when your insecurities threatened to take over. You loved him for it.

But lately, his warmth felt different. He’d been clinging to you in ways you didn’t recognize, filling the spaces between your conversations with a soft desperation. He was more insistent on spending time together—seeking you out even when you felt perfectly fine sitting in your solitude.

At first, it was easy to brush off. Felix was affectionate by nature, and you’d always loved that about him. But when his gentle invitations turned into subtle comments—“Oh, you’re busy again?”—and his eyes lingered on you just a beat too long, you felt a weight you couldn’t explain.

It hurt, because for the first time in your life, you weren’t chasing validation. You weren’t battling the constant fear of being too much. Instead, you’d been reclaiming a sense of independence—spending time with yourself and learning to love the quiet.

You had felt proud. Free. For once, you didn’t feel the urge to text Felix every hour or overthink every interaction. And it had been working. The days felt lighter, and you believed you were finding a balance between nurturing your relationship with him and nurturing yourself.

And yet, tonight unraveled everything.

“Hey,” Felix called softly, pulling your attention away from the pile of papers on your desk.

The sound of his voice was cautious, hesitant, and you immediately turned to face him. “Yeah?” you asked, a small smile on your face. “What’s up?”

Felix shifted in place, one hand rubbing the back of his neck as he searched for the right words. He looked like a boy on the verge of confessing something he thought would ruin everything. “Can I… ask you something?”

“Of course.” You set down your pen, turning your full attention to him.

His gaze dropped, and you noticed the way his hands fidgeted at his sides. “Do you think… maybe you’ve been a little clingy lately?”

For a second, the words didn’t register.

Clingy?

Your heart sank, the air leaving your lungs in an instant. The weight of his question crashed into you, heavy and suffocating, as if the room had suddenly shrunk around you. “Clingy?” you echoed, your voice small and disbelieving.

He nodded, wincing slightly as if bracing for backlash. “I mean… you’re always around. You always want to hang out, and I love being with you—I do. But sometimes I feel like…” He trailed off, clearly unsure how to soften the blow.

“Like I’m suffocating you,” you finished for him, bitterness creeping into your tone.

“No!” Felix said quickly, his eyes wide and panicked. “No, it’s not that. I just… I need a little space sometimes. And I don’t want you to take that the wrong way.”

But how else could you take it? You stared at him, your stomach twisting violently. His words felt like a knife turning in an old wound you’d spent years trying to heal.

Clingy.

That label had haunted you for as long as you could remember. It was the word that stuck to you like a shadow, the fear that kept you second-guessing every relationship, every friendship. But you had worked so hard to overcome it. You’d been careful—so careful—to give Felix the space he deserved while finally giving yourself the freedom to breathe.

And now, the one person who made you feel safe had torn that progress apart.

“Felix…” you started, your voice trembling. You swallowed hard, willing yourself not to cry. “I’ve been trying so hard not to be clingy. Like… so hard.”

His brow furrowed, confusion flickering in his eyes. “What?”

“I’ve been holding back,” you said, the words tumbling out in a bitter rush. “I’ve been giving you space. I haven’t been texting you constantly, or asking to hang out every second, or freaking out if I don’t hear from you for a while. I thought I was finally getting it right.” Your voice cracked, and you looked away, trying to rein in the tears that threatened to spill.

Felix’s expression shifted, the weight of your words hitting him like a freight train. “Y/N…”

“But I guess even when I think I’m doing better, it’s still not enough,” you said, your voice barely above a whisper.

“No,” Felix said, stepping forward. His face crumpled with regret as he reached for you. “No, that’s not true. I didn’t mean it like that. I swear—”

“It’s fine,” you interrupted, stepping back out of his reach. Your hands clenched at your sides as you tried to steady your breath. “I get it. You need space. I’ll give you your space.”

“No, Y/N, don’t do that,” Felix said, his voice breaking. “Please, don’t—”

“I just need a minute, okay?” you said quickly, the words coming out sharper than you intended.

And with that, you turned and walked away, leaving Felix standing there with his heart in his throat.

The door clicked shut behind you, and the silence of your room felt deafening. You sank onto your bed, your mind spiraling with questions you couldn’t answer.

Had you been too much? Had you failed to notice something you should have?

You replayed every interaction in your head, dissecting your choices and second-guessing the progress you’d been so proud of.

Meanwhile, Felix sat outside your door, his knees pulled to his chest. His head was heavy in his hands, guilt eating away at him with every passing second. He didn’t know what had possessed him to say those words—words that clearly cut you so deeply.

Finally, he knocked softly, his voice trembling. “Y/N?”

There was no response.

“Please,” he tried again, his throat tight. “I didn’t mean what I said. I wasn’t thinking. Please, let me in.”

After a long moment, the door opened, revealing your tear-streaked face. Felix’s heart broke all over again. Without a second thought, he pulled you into his arms, holding you as tightly as he could.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered into your hair. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. I didn’t realize how hard you’d been trying… and I just—” He exhaled shakily. “I was scared.”

You stiffened slightly in his arms. “Scared?”

He nodded, pulling back to meet your eyes. “I thought maybe you didn’t need me as much anymore. And I know that’s selfish, but it made me panic. I thought maybe you were pulling away because you didn’t want to be around me.”

His words sank in slowly, and your heart ached at the vulnerability in his voice. “Felix… I wasn’t pulling away. I was trying to find a balance. For me. For us.”

“I know,” he said, his voice thick with regret. “And I ruined it. I’m so sorry, Y/N. You’re not clingy. You’re amazing, and I’m so, so lucky to have you.”

His sincerity broke through your walls, and you leaned into his embrace, letting his warmth comfort you. “I just don’t want to lose you,” you murmured.

“You won’t,” Felix promised, holding you tighter. “I’ll do better. I’ll listen better. And I’ll never call you clingy again. I swear.”

You stayed in his arms for what felt like forever, the steady beat of his heart grounding you as the ache in your chest slowly began to ease. Felix didn’t let go, his arms wrapped around you with a desperation that spoke louder than any words he could say.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered again, his breath warm against your hair. “I didn’t mean any of it. I just… I messed up. I didn’t realize how much you’d been trying, and instead of supporting you, I let my own fears get in the way.”

You swallowed hard, the knot in your throat loosening with every word. “You really thought I didn’t need you anymore?”

He nodded, pulling back just enough to meet your eyes. His gaze was filled with regret, but there was something else there too—a tenderness that made your chest tighten. “I know it doesn’t make sense, but I got scared. You seemed so confident, so… happy on your own. And I thought maybe I was the only one who still needed us as much as I do.”

You shook your head, a soft, disbelieving laugh escaping your lips. “Felix, I need us. I always have. I just…” You hesitated, trying to find the right words. “I needed to know I could stand on my own too. Not because I don’t love you, but because I wanted to be better for you. For both of us.”

His expression softened, his thumb gently brushing against your cheek. “You are better, Y/N. You’re amazing. And I should have told you that instead of making you feel like… like this.”

A tear slipped down your cheek, and Felix was quick to catch it, his touch impossibly gentle. “I don’t think you realize how much I look up to you,” he said quietly. “You’ve been so strong, and I’m… I’m so proud of you. I hate that I made you second-guess yourself.”

His words cracked something open inside you, and you leaned into his hand, letting yourself feel the warmth and sincerity in his touch. “You mean that?” you asked softly.

“Every word,” he said, his voice firm but tender. “You’ve been so brave, Y/N. I see it. And I’ll spend every day reminding you how incredible you are if that’s what it takes to make up for tonight.”

For the first time that night, you felt the heaviness in your chest begin to lift. The sting of his earlier words lingered, but his apology—his love—was genuine.

You gave him a small, tentative smile. “You don’t have to make up for anything, Felix. Just… promise me we’ll talk next time, okay? No more letting things fester.”

He nodded quickly, his lips twitching into a faint, relieved smile. “I promise. I’ll do better. No more keeping things to myself. And no more calling you clingy. Ever.”

You let out a soft laugh, the sound breaking the tension in the room. “Good. Because that word is banned forever.”

“Forever,” Felix agreed, a playful light returning to his eyes. He shifted, pulling you closer until your foreheads touched. “You’re not clingy, Y/N. You’re perfect. Just the way you are.”

The sincerity in his voice made your heart swell, and you closed your eyes, letting yourself sink into the moment. For the first time in hours, you felt truly at ease.

Later that night, you found yourselves curled up on the couch, the tension of the evening a distant memory. Felix’s arms were wrapped around you, his fingers lazily tracing patterns on your arm as the quiet hum of a movie played in the background.

“Y/N?” he murmured after a while, his voice soft and contemplative.

“Yeah?” you replied, tilting your head to look at him.

“I’m really lucky to have you,” he said, his cheeks turning pink as the words left his mouth.

You smiled, warmth spreading through your chest. “You’re not so bad yourself, Felix.”

He laughed softly, his lips brushing against your temple. “I mean it. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“You don’t have to,” you said gently, resting your hand over his. “We’ll figure it all out. Together.”

Felix’s arms tightened around you, his lips curving into a soft smile against your skin. “Together,” he echoed, and in that moment, you knew he meant it with every fiber of his being.

For the first time in what felt like forever, you weren’t questioning yourself. You weren’t doubting your place in his life or worrying about being too much. Felix’s love wrapped around you like a promise—a reassurance that you didn’t have to change to be enough.

@intartaruginha @hannamoon143 @inlovewithstraykids @whoa-jo @madirye062 @vixensss @sseawavee @emilyywhyy @halfwinterhalfuniverse @velvetmoonlght @flourishmoon

[dazed--xx]

Skz! Fake Texts: Break Up and wants to get back together later (Aussie Line)

Part 2 Masterlist

Chan:

Felix:

Taglist: @yangbbokari @lovesunshinefelix @threeopossumsinacoat @isabellah29 @hope-maine @minhwa @tr-mha-fan @whoa-jo @kibs-and-bits @your-favorite-pirate @summercoldstuff @bx-lov3 @multi-fandommaniac @yunho-leeknow @ka0ila @seungminsteddybear @jaquisos @nchhuhi @havenwithleeknow @galaxy4489 @hannahhhhs-things @captainchrisstan @skzfairyyydreamz @kyrennetwork

[minhosbitterriver]

Hi green! Since you've left me some lovely requests, I thought I'd leave you one! I'm in love with the friends to love trope, so if you could do something like that with Felix, I'd eat it up. I'm thinking of something like the reader (gn please) has a really hard day and decides to go to Felix, but then it starts raining, so when Felix opens the door, reader is soaking wet and distressed. You can do anything from there! Again, I love your writing, so anything you come up with will be undoubtedly amazing. Hope you're doing well! <3

everything is you.

💭 GUIDELINES ‣ LIBRARY ‣ TAGLIST & ANONS ‣ IN PROGRESS ‣ REQUEST LIST ‣ PINNED

pairing: felix x gender neutral reader

content warnings: hurt/comfort, mentions of parental abandonment years prior, mentions of recent death of a parent, smoking weed, daddy issues

rating: 13+

summary: through every single hardship you'd ever endured, felix always waited for you, ready to bring you into the safety of his embrace. so when you're stuck amidst the complicated emotions following your father's recent passing, the first and only person you sought for comfort was your best friend.

Echoes of the youth you’d spent in this house haunted the eerie hallways of this vacant home. Every inch of this familiar place has remained the same, though you certainly haven’t. Sitting on the front porch floor, a joint you’d just rolled burning between your fingers as you watch the rain pour outside, a vacant expression on your face as you decided on what to do. The initial plan was to walk towards your best friend’s house, which was a short walk away but the sky seemed to have other plans. And so you remained there, stuck sitting beside a box full of letters addressed to you, but that had never been sent – all written by your father. 

Too many times you had driven past him on your way to visit your best friend, making the point to keep your eyes on the road in case your father sat out front like he sometimes tended to do. The two of you had never been on good terms, especially since your mother left when you were a teenager to chase another man who’d made empty promises to her, and your father didn’t know the first thing about caring about another human being. It wasn’t a surprise to anybody when you left without a word the very minute you were old enough to do so and never returned. And yet, here you were, years since you’d gone – a box of letters he’d written to you though never sent, and you knew you didn’t have the nerve to open them alone. 

An exasperated sigh escaped your lips, pulling your phone out of the back pocket of your jeans for what was possibly the millionth time only to be met by the same symbol of no signal available for you to message Felix, the aforementioned best friend – the boy you’ve known since you could barely form a sentence due to living so close to each other. He was the kind of guy who would smile a little bit wider whenever his eyes landed on you, the one to allow you to lash out when you were angry despite how sensitive he was because he wanted you to feel better, the one to remember your birthday and plan something intimate and special even if nobody else bothered, the one to pay attention to the little things you would mention in passing and always remember – he was very much in love with you, had been for a very long time and you were well aware. But he never mentioned it directly, and you decided that you wouldn’t bring it up either because you knew that the reality of this lifetime is that you were made to destroy and hurt while he was made to heal and rebuild and you couldn’t risk having him be the next victim.

In moments like these, while alone with your thoughts that slowed down from the flower you smoked that still seemed to suffocate you all the same, you wished things were different. If only you were a stable human being, good enough for him to safely lay his head on your shoulder the way a lover would do, someone who’s sane and loving and all things good – all of which you were not – then perhaps he would be sitting beside you already, encouraging you to open the first letter while being ready to kiss your forehead at the first sign of distress. It’s selfish, and you knew, but as the screen of your useless phone remained blank you couldn’t help but wish his name would pop up. 

Your mind swirled with thoughts that made it harder to breathe with each passing second. The box of letters beside you. No signal. Felix’s smile. Childhood home. Your mother leaving. Your father’s cold demeanor. Yourself.

Not willing to wait for the rain to end, but also not wanting to dwell in here any longer, you grunted as you put out your joint and walked inside. A plastic sheet that covered one of the cushioned chairs in the living room was the only thing you took before making a b-line back outside. You lazily throw the sheet over the box, struggling only slightly to lift it before leaving the shelter from the rain, instantly drenched as the it offered no mercy. Barely able to keep your eyes open, you followed the same path you’ve walked a thousand times throughout your life, the pull of your best friend’s comfort and warmth being the true source of your rush as your pace quickened.

The neighborhood was the same, with the same married couples still residing in them – though most of their children were gone, already having moved on in their adult lives as their parents awaited for the next holiday to see them again. Everywhere you looked, a memory tied you to Felix as though his entire, beautiful being had been burned into your consciousness forever. Perhaps he had been, not that you would complain about it one bit if that were the case.

Felix’s childhood home came into view at last, and you all but sprinted clumsily with the box in your hands as your mind, body and heart yearned for his strong arms around you. Your heart was pumping blood through your veins harshly by the time you’d made it to his front door, dropping the box at your feet before banging on his wooden door. The air was having a hard time reaching your lungs and you realized that you were crying now that the rain was not hammering onto your skin – flashbacks of a similar scene played in your head, your teenage self distressed after you’d read your mother’s goodbye letter and your grief engulfed you and sent you down a spiral while the scene of your father sitting on the dinner table reading his newspaper and sipping coffee as you screamed at him to see you and your broken heart left at the departure of your mother. Your fists shaking as you gave up, falling onto your knees in despair just as the door swung open. 

A wide-eyed Felix stood before you, shocked to see you in such a state and so late at night. It only took him half a second to react as he practically threw himself onto the ground and pulled you into the safety of his embrace despite how drenched you were. A sob you hadn’t realized you’d been holding back escaped your lips, and the gravity of the fact that you were officially alone dawned on you. Your heart ached in a way you couldn’t describe and all you could truly focus on was the fresh scent of his blueberry shampoo and vanilla soap on him as you briefly realized you must’ve caught him getting out of the shower. 

“Hey, hey,” Felix attempted to pull away slightly to speak to you but you tighten your hold on his torso, not quite ready to let go yet. “I thought you wouldn’t be here until tomorrow.”

You said nothing, silently cursing yourself for being so weak – crying over a man who had never even smiled in your direction. 

“Felix, darling, what was all that noise?”

The sound of Felix’s mother’s sleepy voice caused you to jerk away from him, cheeks heating up in shame. You were on your feet in a second, bowing deeply to the kind woman who’d supported you through all of your hardships. 

“I– I’m so sorry, I don’t know what I was thinking when I came here, making all that noise. I just–”

“Nonsense,” Mrs. Lee waved you off with a concerned smile. “I’ve been telling you for years that you’re welcomed here at any time of day. Come in, darling, you’ll catch a cold. Come!”

Felix moved out of the way so that you could enter his home, pushing you away when you tried to grab a hold of the box you’d carried through the rain so that he could take care of it himself. You knew that you must’ve looked deranged, but there was no hint of judgment in their eyes as they watched you take your shoes off at the entrance. Mrs. Lee guided you into the living room by the shoulders despite the fact that you knew your way through the house like the back of your hand. The tenderness of such a simple touch made your sight blurry with tears that you refused to release this time. 

“Darling, go take a warm shower and Felix will bring you a fresh towel and some spare clothes for you to change into, deal?” Mrs. Lee raised her brows as she waited for your response, you merely nodded. “Good, have you eaten?”

“N– No.”

“I’ll heat up some leftovers from tonight’s dinner, then.”

With that, she rushed over to the kitchen. You remained in the same spot though, letting the rain drip onto the floor as your body trembled from the chill the weather outside had instilled into you. Felix gently dropped the box on the couch, paying no mind to the wet plastic sheet that was still covering its contents. 

“Y/N,” Felix said, voice low and warm. “You told me you were coming tomorrow in the afternoon. Why are you here?”

“I lied,” you sighed defeatedly. “I just didn’t want you to worry too much and I thought that I could– I thought that I would be able to go in there myself. And I really was fine, really…until I found that stupid box.”

He glanced back at the box behind him, sighing. Felix didn’t say anything, choosing instead to lead you towards the second floor and into the bathroom he typically shared with his sisters, closing the door behind you. 

While standing under the scalding hot water in the shower by yourself, you couldn’t help but scold yourself at the lack of impulse control. You could have knocked like a normal person, instead you simply decided that you would bang on his door as though your life was in danger which in turn startled everyone in the house and probably the neighbors as well. The thing that had you so upset was not something that couldn’t wait until tomorrow, it wasn’t urgent at all. It was just a dumb box filled with letters that you’d never received while your father had been alive. So dramatic, you chided. 

Just when you were about to shut the water off, you heard the bathroom door open quietly while you assumed Felix gathered your wet clothing and replaced them with fresh ones along with a towel. Once the door closed again, you drew the curtains back to be proved right. You dressed quickly, not bothering to brush your hair as you made your way back down and into the kitchen only to find that Mrs. Lee was no longer there, instead you found Felix looking for chopsticks for you to use while you ate. 

“I told my mom to head to bed,” Felix informed you without looking up, placing the chopsticks on a napkin beside your warm plate. “What’s in the box?”

Your feet felt heavy with each step you took closer to your meal – to him. You leaned your lower back against the counter, gingerly taking the plate into your hands. “My father wrote me letters. A whole lot of them. But he never sent them.” 

Felix’s eyes remained on you, taking his place right beside you, leaving only a hair’s distance in between. In order to not get distracted by this silly fact, you shoved your first bite into your mouth even though you didn’t feel particularly hungry. He didn’t seem to notice, only waiting patiently like he always did. 

“The house hasn’t changed a single bit since I left,” you swallowed, voice thick. “I could tell exactly where he spent the majority of his time– the same spot at the head of the dinner table where he left stacks upon stacks of newspapers he never did bother to throw out, the reclining chair right in front of the TV where his weight had left its mark over the years, and his room that was a complete mess of clothes and books and papers and everything he ever used was thrown onto the ground.”

Another bite. Felix still said nothing. 

“My room was left intact,” you continued. “It almost felt like time had stopped when I left, and the clock only continued when I walked in again. It was clean– my father kept his own room in chaos but cleaned my room. Not a speck of dust anywhere, and I checked.” 

A third bite and then you set the practically full plate back onto the counter, you didn’t have the appetite to finish it. Felix wordlessly cleaned the area and left your plate in the fridge. 

“I think the only thing that changed there was that all the family photos were taken down.” You pinch the bridge of your nose, squeezing your eyes shut as your breath becomes slightly shaky. “Not even put away, he just– took them and smashed them on the floor and left everything there. I can’t help but wonder just how long ago that was, and how many times he turned a blind eye to the broken glass as he stepped over them.

And then I went down to the basement, and everything was pretty much the same except for this stupid box. All of the letters with my name and address written on the envelope and I just– I lost it. I don’t know what to think anymore, of him…of anything.”

Felix’s arms suddenly wrapped around you tightly, surprising you for a second before you returned the gesture. Your heart was beating erratically in your chest despite this not being the first time he’d hugged you, but this one felt like it did when you were a teenager. It was strong, yet gentle; protective, yet freeing. Although it’d only been a few weeks since you’d seen him, you missed him deeply. You had left town, and he remained here with his family and his happy childhood memories – though you visited often and he did as well, but still; you missed him deeply. 

“I think that your father loved you in his own twisted way,” Felix murmured in your ear at last, arms tightening around you. “He was hurting, too. And you still didn’t deserve any of the things he did and didn’t do to you, because you were hurting and you were the child. But I think he loved you.”

Tears welled up in your eyes once more, hands shaking as you gripped Felix’s blue hoodie. 

ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ☀️

The rain had stopped after a while, so you and Felix took advantage of that and sat on the roof right outside his bedroom window like you’d done a thousand times before. Overlooking the neighborhood in the dead of night as you lighted up the freshly rolled joint between your lips, inhaling the comforting flower before exhaling its smoke. The weight on your shoulders and mind was lifted as your anxiety dulled and your body relaxed. You passed the joint to Felix, who mimicked your actions. 

Your tears had long since dried, and the box had been left in the living room as you decided not to look at them tonight. Instead, you focused on the serene atmosphere that surrounded you and Felix like a warm hug. He passed the joint back to you, though you didn’t immediately bring it up to your lips again, letting it burn slightly between your thumb and index finger. Your eyes slowly found their way to Felix’s that had already been on you, analyzing you in the same way he had always done. You couldn’t tell if the glitter in his eyes were a reflection of the stars in the sky, or if they were truly his though they looked enchanting anyway. His smile widened when he noticed you meet his intense gaze and your heart burned at the sight, thinking back to your train of thought back on the front porch of your childhood home right before you’d come here. 

After all of these years, all of the tears, grief, arguments, and lashing out – he remained beside you, eyes on you as if you’d placed the sun in the sky yourself. You would never understand how he could stay by you when everyone else had left, there was nothing special about you other than your cutting tongue and vengeful heart. Though you couldn’t help but soften at the sight of him and his optimistic way of seeing the world. He was far too good, too pure for you or anyone else. And yet he sat there, subtly inching closer to you though you had still noticed. 

Lee Felix was in love with you, and had been for a long time. You were well aware, and had been for a long time. Though he never mentioned it directly and you decided that ignoring this would protect both you and him; but after all of this time, perhaps you’d maybe fallen in love with him too. It would be impossible not to let your own smile widen at the sight of his brown eyes watching you with so much genuine gentleness, to not feel your heart quicken every time he touched you, to not think of him when your bed was empty and cold, to not wish with every aching cell in your body that you were not as damaged as you were so that maybe, just maybe you would have a chance of deserving such a rare soul. 

Despite knowing all of this, you allowed him to move closer to you as the joint became smaller and smaller with each pass between the two of you. Eventually, your arms and legs were touching, and you could practically feel Felix’s erratic heartbeat. 

“What are you thinking about?” You surprised yourself by asking him, pointedly staring at the streetlamp directly in front of Felix’s house. His breath hitched slightly, though he didn’t say anything for a few moments. 

“I don’t know,” he eventually mumbled with a half-shrug. “Everything, I guess.”

“What is everything, Felix?”

His eyes met yours, wide with curiosity as he attempted to read you. Your own veins were pulsing with adrenaline from your boldness, though somehow you weren’t as mad about it as you thought you would be.

“I– I’m not sure.”

“I don’t believe you. What is everything?”

This was everything against what you’d done since you noticed his feelings for you, this was not keeping a safe distance. But you couldn’t help it, it was as though your heart had finally gained control over your brain and was pushing you to confront your own feelings for the first time in years. Because the truth is, your heart did burn for him in a way you couldn’t explain; it fluttered and skipped a beat a thousand times whenever he was around and it had been for as long as you could think back. You didn’t deserve him, but he thought the world of you – so maybe that was worth something. 

“Everything is–” Felix’s eyes searched yours, his breathing picking up slightly. “Everything is you.”

If your heart either exploded or simply stopped beating, you wouldn’t be surprised in the least. His words sent a chill down your spine, and you couldn’t stop the smile that snuck onto your face. 

“Good.” You stated, putting out what little was left of your shared joint on the roof before moving to straddle him, and you might as well have pushed him off and onto the ground before with the way the wind seemed to have been knocked out of him. His eyes were so wide, so surprised yet so excited. “To me, everything is you, too.”

His eyes scanned yours for a moment before he released an incredulous, airy chuckle. He didn’t get the chance to say anything, however, as your lips met his for the first time and the world melted away.

word count: 3.3k ☀️ posted: 12 • 05 • 2023

💬 a note from green;

Thank you so much for the request! I truly, truly enjoyed writing this for you. I just sat here and the words just kept flowing and flowing and I just couldn't stop, so I hope you enjoy it! (Side note though: I'm sorry if this a bit darker for your taste, I read it back and was like 'yikes, didn't mean to start off like that'.)

Anyway! I appreciate your compliments, always. Your feedback is something I genuinely look forward to every time I post, and so I'm happy that we're mutuals out here supporting each other because honestly – you're a magnificent writer as well, so I can promise that every time I think of something new for you, I'll grab my phone and tell you all about it no matter where I am!

Again, I hope you enjoyed this and thank you!

🪲 TAGLIST !

# @grandpafelixx

[minlighted]

Hey there 💞

So I've had an idea and decided to slide into your requests!

What about idolverse SKZ with a female ninth member reader, and they're looking at how member versions of an album (yk like the accordion or jewel case versions) are sold a lot, but only reader's don't sell well :( how would SKZ react? All of them?

So this would be hurt/comfort, I guess.

Hope you're having a nice weekend 💞

Hi, thank you for the request!

💿 Left Behind

Stray Kids OT8 × 9th Member!Reader (female) 🖤 Angst – Comfort – Found Family 📎 No romance | ±8100 words | Inspired by your idea

You sat on the floor of the practice room, your back against the mirror, your legs drawn up. The laptop on your lap burned like an open wound. You shouldn’t have opened this file. You knew it would sting. But you had to see it, in black and white. Just once. For confirmation.

Sales figures. Per member. Jewel case version.

Chan: 2,012 Felix: 1,734 Hyunjin: 2,403 Lee Know: 1,185 Han: 1,901 Seungmin: 1,412 Jeongin: 1,088 Changbin: 1,320 Y/N: 4

Four. Four orders. In twenty-four hours. And underneath it said: 3,276 in stock. The highest remaining stock of anyone. Your hand trembled on your trackpad. You clicked away the tab as if it could disappear. As if you could make the pain invisible by closing the screen.

You stayed seated. Quiet. In a room where laughter and music had previously been heard, all you could hear now was your breathing. And the ticking of the clock.

The door creaked. You instinctively slid your laptop under a bag.

"Here you are." Minho's voice was low. He looked at you with his head tilted slightly. "Why are you still here?"

You shrugged.

He sat down next to you, his back also against the mirror, legs stretched out. "You don't have to say anything, but… I know something's up."

You swallowed. "It's nothing."

"You're lying."

He said it without judgment. Just an observation.

"You're sad." He looked straight ahead, not at you. "I saw it in your eyes yesterday. And you've been sitting alone on the right side of the dorm table for three weeks. Like you're avoiding something."

You said nothing. Neither did Minho.

After a long silence: "Is this about your version?"

Your body went rigid. That was it.

He sighed. “I saw it, you know. The spreadsheet.”

“Why were you looking…”

“Because I was wondering why you were getting quieter. You’re my teammate. My family.”

His words broke something open inside you. You felt it snap, somewhere under your chest. The silent crack of hope.

“It hurts,” you whispered.

“I know,” he said. “And I think it’s unfair.”

You took a deep breath. It felt like you’d been living on one breath for weeks.

“It feels like no one chooses me,” you said. “I can see it in those numbers. And in the fan signs. Everyone loves you guys. And I… I’m just there. In the background.”

Minho turned his head toward you now. “You’re not a prop.”

“But I feel like one.”

He put his hand on your knee. No words. Just presence. And right when you needed it.

“You know what’s weird?” he asked. “I have your jewel case version at home. Three of them, actually. And I think it’s the prettiest of them all.”

You bit your lip. “You’re lying.”

“I'm not. And Felix has one in his wallet.”

You snorted softly. “That won’t fit at all.”

“He had the mini-mini version printed.”

You laughed a little. It felt strange in your throat, like you were relearning something.

“Let me know if you need space,” Minho said. “Or silence. Or someone being angry for you.”

“You would be mad on my behalf?”

“I’m already mad on your behalf.”

You looked at him. He meant it. It was in his gaze, in the tense line of his jaw.

“Thank you,” you whispered.

“Always.”

That night, you lay in bed, but your thoughts wouldn’t let you rest. Every number on the spreadsheet bleeped through your head. Every difference in sales felt like a judgment. Like a voice saying: you don’t belong. You tried to sleep, but your brain whispered: You’re not someone’s bias. You’re not someone’s favorite. You’re optional.

The next morning, you were quiet. Too quiet. Seungmin poured you coffee and glanced up. “Are you having trouble sleeping?”

“I’m fine.”

“Lie number one of the day,” he said dryly.

Jeongin whistled softly. “Ouch. The morning quiz has started.”

Felix walked to the table, his hair messy and a blanket around his shoulders. “Leave her alone. Not everyone needs to wake up with full battery.”

“She’s been acting like everything’s okay for weeks,” Seungmin said. “But her eyes are tired. And her voice too.”

Han looked up from his cereal. “Maybe we should stop guessing and just ask: what do you need?”

You looked up. Eight pairs of eyes on you. You felt yourself grow warm. Not from love. From shame.

“It’s nothing,” you said quickly.

Seungmin raised one eyebrow. “Then you’re lying for the second time today.”

No one pushed you. That was the worst part. They gave you silence. Understanding. But that made it harder.

You stood up.

“Aren’t you eating?” Jeongin asked.

“Not hungry.”

You walked to your room, closed the door and leaned your back against it. Your chest moved quickly. As if you had just run, when in fact you were just running away from something you couldn’t say.

That afternoon you walked past two staff members in the hallway.

“…still high stock. Maybe no more solo version.”

“Or just a different cover. Something with a bit more spice.”

Your feet kept walking, but your heart stayed behind. In pieces. You said nothing. You were nothing. Just air, at that moment. Invisible to the people who were supposed to support you.

You felt it. Something breaking. Quietly. But definitely.

You turned. Walked outside, past security, hood over your head. No message. No note. Just your jewel case — which you put on the table in the lounge, near the coffee machine. For whoever found it.

You walked. You didn’t know where. Only that you had to leave. Just for a moment. To breathe somewhere else. To lose something that no one seemed to see.

The wind was sharp as you stepped outside. You felt it pull through your sleeves, down your neck, into your lungs. Like it wanted to clean up there too. Like it could feel you draining.

You walked without a purpose. The city was noisy, but to you everything sounded dull. Every sound was behind a wall. You crossed a street. Sat down on a bench. You looked down at your shoes. And you waited. For nothing. For everything.

Your phone vibrated. Once. Then twice.

Chris 🐺: hey, where are you?

Chris 🐺: it's okay if you need space, but let me know

You turned your phone upside down. You had no words. Just silence.

In the lounge, Felix found the jewel case first. He was about to get coffee when his eyes fell on the case. He bent down, held it like it was made of glass, and read your name on the side.

He called for Minho.

“It was here,” he said softly. “Just… just like that. No note.”

Minho’s eyes narrowed. “She’s gone.”

“I thought she was in the practice room.”

Han came over. Took the box from Felix’s hand. “This… doesn’t feel right.”

Felix: “Do you think—”

“Don’t think,” Minho said sharply. “Act.”

Changbin stood in the doorway. His face was tight. “Call her.”

“I just texted her,” Chan said. “No response.”

“Let’s split up,” Han said immediately. “I’m going to the park. She goes there sometimes when she wants to think.”

“Studios” Seungmin said. “She feels safer there than at home.”

“The cafe by the canal,” Hyunjin said. “We sometimes draw there—she likes the quiet there.”

Chan nodded. “No one comes back without her. Okay?”

Felix was still holding the jewel case. His fingers were clenched around it as if he didn’t dare let go.

“I’m taking this,” he whispered. “If she wants it back… she has to be here.”

Felix walked around the city looking for you. He had his hoodie on, walking along the edge of a parking lot where no one ever went—unless they really wanted to get away. And there you were. On a curb. Knees up. Arms around you. Eyes focused on nothing.

“Hey,” he said, not too softly, not too sharply.

You didn’t look up.

He sat down next to you.

After a long silence: “You left something behind.”

Your eyes darted to his hand. There was the case. Your jewel case. Slightly damaged on the corner. Like you. Inconspicuous. But visible, if you really looked.

“I just wanted to… disappear,” you whispered.

“I know that.”

“It felt like no one would miss me.”

“I know that too.”

You finally looked at him. His gaze was wet. But he wasn’t crying. He was feeling.

“We need you,” he said. “Not as an artist. As a person.”

Your lip trembled. “But they… they don’t want me. The world doesn’t.”

“Then the world is making a mistake.”

He put the jewel case next to you. “You decide what happens to it. Keep it. Destroy it. Forget it. But we—we keep you. Regardless.”

You took a deep breath. A deep breath. And said nothing. But your hand slowly moved toward the case. You didn’t push it away. You didn’t grab it. But you let it be.

That was enough.

When you walked back with him, the air felt different. Not lighter. But less heavy.

At home, they were all sitting. Silent. Chaotically silent. You heard Jisung jump up from the couch. “There you are.”

You nodded. No words yet. But you looked at everyone. One by one. And that was all they needed.

Chan stood up. “We’ve discussed it.”

You frowned.

Changbin: “We all want to buy your jewel case.”

Your eyes widened.

Hyunjin: “Not symbolically. Real. Physically. One by one. Until they’re sold out.”

You wanted to protest, but Minho raised his hand.

“This isn’t out of pity,” he said. “This is what we do for family.”

You looked down at the case in your hand. And for the first time, it didn’t feel like a failure. But like something real. Something yours. Something worth holding on to.

And you did.

You were sitting on the balcony. The sky was pink and orange. You held the jewel case in your hands as if it were something precious. You looked at it like you never had before — not critically, but just… present. You saw your own eyes on the cover. Your smile. It had been real, then. Even if you couldn’t feel it now.

You heard some commotion inside. You turned your head and saw Jeongin opening boxes in the living room. Felix was helping him. One by one, he pulled out the jewel cases. Your version. Only your version.

“Are you serious?” you asked.

Jeongin grinned. “We got a group discount.”

Chan joined in. “We give them to staff, backup dancers, our parents…”

Seungmin jumped in. “I’ll send one to JYP. For his desk. Let him look at it.”

Everyone laughed.

Minho handed you a stack of markers. “You have some catching up to do.”

You looked at the pile of jewel cases. And for the first time, you didn’t think: no one wants these. You thought: they’re mine. And that’s enough.

That night, you were all sitting in the living room. You on the couch, feet on Felix’s lap. Hyunjin was lying on the floor with a pillow under his head. Jisung was playing softly on his phone. Chan was writing something in his notebook. Changbin looked up every now and then, as if to check if you were still breathing.

You were breathing.

You were still there.

And somewhere, in the silence, you felt it. Not just that they needed you. But that you felt her again — the version of yourself that once shone. Not perfectly. Not without doubts. But really.

The next day, a new order had come in. Someone had bought your version. One copy. Maybe by accident. Maybe out of curiosity. Maybe because they really wanted you.

And that was enough to get you started again.

You opened your phone. You set your alarm for tomorrow's rehearsal. You posted a selfie on Bubble, captioned:

I'm still here. And I'm staying.

Then you looked at the jewel case on your nightstand. You tapped the plastic softly.

"Thank you for staying," you whispered.

And you stayed too.

[fenya-scribbles]

Sure

Network: @staynotes

Pairing: Felix x fem!Reader

Other Characters: none

Summary: You have a boyfriend, but Felix loves you so much better.

Genre: angst, smut

Content warnings: 18+ MDNI, unprotected piv (don't be stupid), oral (f receiving), fingering (f receiving), heartbreak, cheating

Word Count:  1,190

A/N: Two in one day? Blame @rayzyart :3 Highly inspired by this song

“Turn it off”, Felix said, voice velvet smooth in the quiet of his room. The party outside was still in full swing, but the two of you had escaped to his bedroom - for good reason. You were still a bit nervous that someone had seen you disappear with him. But if so, that would be a problem for later. For now the problem was in the palm of your hand. Your phone, lit up by an incoming call from “Babe ♥” - your boyfriend. You looked from the screen to Felix, whose lap you were currently straddling, sitting on his bed, lips still kiss swollen. 

You looked down at your phone again. Part of you wanted to pick up. But Felix wouldn’t let you. He snatched it from your hand, declining the call and turning it off. “He doesn’t need to know”, Felix said, throwing your phone onto his nightstand, “you’re mine tonight.” And then his lips were on yours again, sweet like honey, warm like summer nights, a silent promise of all that he would be able to give. Felix’ lips travelled down your neck as his hands slipped underneath your shirt. “Wish I could mark you”, he groaned against your skin, leaving a hot trail of kisses and almost-hickeys. 

Being in his arms was heaven. He was so attentive, so gentle, so deliberate with his touches. He made love to you like you were something precious, something to be enjoyed and worshipped. There was a reason you always came back to him, no matter the man waiting for you at home. But it weren’t your boyfriend’s hands taking your bra off now, not his lips worshipping your breasts, not his hot, needy erection pressing against your soaked panties. It was Felix. The man you told your boyfriend not to worry about. 

And Felix knew what he was doing, he knew how to claim you, how to make your boyfriend disappear from your mind. When he laid you down on his mattress, handling you with such care, as if you were made of glass. When he took off your clothes slowly, one by one, sending shivers down your spine with every careful touch. When he pressed hot kisses on your skin until his head was buried between your legs, tasting you like you were his favourite dessert. When he moaned against your core, deep and unforgiving, as if he was being the one pleasured, greedy tongue gliding over your clit. 

You were soon reduced to a panting, shaking, helpless mess beneath him, moaning his name, begging him for more, legs only held apart by his strong grip. “Ahh…Lixie please…”, you gasped, fingers tangled in his pretty blonde hair, the party outside already forgotten - just like your boyfriend. “More…need more…please.” And he obeyed, giving you one finger, then two, working you open, all while he was still eating you like a man starved. He was relentless in his movements, precise with every thrust of his fingers, deadly with every flick of his tongue. “Let go for me, sunshine”, he hummed against your dripping cunt, and it was all it took for you to fall apart. 

Felix helped you ride out your high, but he did not give you time to catch your breath. In fact, he gave you exactly the time it took him to take off his clothes, before pushing his rock hard length into you. “Fuck, princess”, he groaned, “so tight…always so fucking tight for me.” He pushed in slowly, as you laid there, head still dizzy from your climax, but your hands already gripping onto his back, urging him to go faster. “Want you”, you moaned, “need you…please…more…” He bottomed out with a delicious deep moan before he started rutting into you. 

Your body was on fire, every inch so sensitive, and all you wanted was to feel him. And he knew, he understood, he wanted the same, head buried in the crook of your neck as he fucked you with heartbreaking passion. His arms snaked around you, pressing your chest against his own, as he snapped his hips against yours faster. Harder. Deeper. “Fuck…I’m so close…”, he groaned, unable to stop, unable to think. You didn’t want him to do either of those things. “Cum inside…please…want you inside…” You were gone. He was gone. All either of you knew was the fire that burned between you as Felix’s hips stuttered, cock pulsing inside you, painting your walls white. 

Both of you stayed like that for a very long moment, tangled up in each other, his cock still buried inside you, panting hard against each other’s sweat soaked skin. And then he spoke. “I love you.” Your heart dropped. He slowly peeled himself away from you, just enough to look at you. He still didn’t pull out though. With shaky fingers, he brushed over your cheek. “I love you so much.” His voice was deep and calm and honest. Tears welled up in your eyes. There he was, the man who had loved you better than any other, and yet he was only the other man. “I know”, you whispered. 

Regret filled your heart the second you uttered the words. The pain on Felix’ face was raw and very apparent. He swallowed hard and slowly pulled out. Without another word he disappeared into his bathroom, returning with a warm, wet cloth. He proceeded to clean you up with agonising gentleness, but unable to meet your eyes again. Then he returned into the bedroom and closed the door. You felt raw, like a fresh wound that had just started to heal but had been torn open again. Your heart hurt and the tears trickling down your cheeks did nothing to sooth it. 

You feel eerily numb as you collected your clothes and put them back on. With shaky hands you turned your phone back on. 6 missed calls. Against your better judgment, you decided to call him back. Your boyfriend. Who you just cheated on with Felix. Again. “Babe, where were you?!” Your boyfriend sounded more angry than worried. “Still at the party”, you said, voice small and still exhausted from the way Felix had just ruined you. “And why didn’t my calls get through? Are you with him again?” Guilt hit your chest like a blade. He suspected. Of course he did. You tried to be so sneaky about it, but there was nothing subtle in the way Felix looked at you, even in group settings.

In that moment the bathroom door opened and Felix stepped out. Your heart clenched painfully in your chest as you met his eyes. He’d cried, eyes still puffy, face still red. He froze when he saw your phone on your ear, eyes wide and questioning. Who do you love?, they said, giving you the ultimatum you’d feared for months now. But right there, in that moment, looking at the mess you’d made of the only man who’d ever loved you right, you knew. You knew who you truly loved. You’d never been this sure about anything before. “Yes”, you said, eyes locked with Felix, “and I’m not coming home.”

Fenya’s Masterlist

Taglist @lov3rachan

[sunshinesfreckless]

Coward

───୨ৎ────────୨ৎ───────୨ৎ───

Pairing: Idol!Felix x Fem!Reader

Summary: When Felix chooses his career over his girlfriend.

Warnings: No Happy Ending 🫩

A/N: Bet you guys didn’t expect an angst fanfic from me after you‘ve been asking for smut in my requests for the past few weeks—HAH, sorry!

───୨ৎ────────୨ৎ───────୨ৎ───

“You should break up with her.”

The words hung heavy in the air, more deafening than a scream.

Felix sat frozen in the meeting room, hands clenched into fists beneath the table, his heart pounding so loud he could barely hear anything else. He tried to meet Chan’s eyes, searching for support, for some kind of silent protest — but Chan wasn’t looking at him. His gaze was fixed on the floor, jaw tight, guilt written across every tense line of his face.

Hyunjin’s reaction was different — immediate, visible. His brows furrowed, eyes flickering from the manager to Felix like he’d just misheard. “What?” he breathed, his voice too soft to be defiant but too sharp to ignore. “You can’t be serious.”

The manager stayed calm. Too calm.

“She’s not a scandal yet,” he said, as if that made this any better. “But she will be. People are speculating. You’re slipping. The engagement on your posts is dropping, and the comments are full of hate toward her. This isn’t about your feelings, Felix. It’s about your image.”

Felix felt something in him splinter.

Like a crack that had been forming quietly, invisibly, now split wide open.

Y/N’s laugh echoed in his memory, soft and melodic. The way she’d always waited up for him, no matter how late he got home. The sleepy kisses on the couch, the way she wore his hoodies and always tucked her cold toes beneath his legs in bed. The way she whispered I’m proud of you on nights when he came home completely broken from exhaustion.

He thought about her smile — how safe it made him feel. How she never asked for much, just him. Just time. Just honesty.

But now they wanted him to give her up. Like she was just some inconvenience.

A marketing risk.

He didn’t speak. He couldn’t.

Because if he did, he might scream.

He might cry.

He might beg.

But idols don’t beg. Idols obey.

And Felix had worked too hard to throw it all away. That’s what they were counting on.

────୨ৎ────

The worst part?

He didn’t even say goodbye.

He couldn’t.

He waited until he was sure she wouldn’t be home — he knew her schedule, knew when she had that late meeting. And then he moved through the apartment like a ghost. Quiet. Methodical. Dying with every item he packed.

His computer setup.

The drawer full of hoodies she always stole.

His gaming gear — the controller she used to tease him for gripping too tightly during horror games.

The pictures on the fridge. Their Polaroids from Japan. The one from the night market where he had his arm wrapped tight around her waist and she was laughing like the happiest girl in the world.

Gone.

All of it.

Except for one thing.

He left behind a single hoodie.

The grey one she always wore when she missed him. Oversized. Faded. Smelled like him no matter how often she washed it. She used to say it made her feel safe.

He folded it carefully and placed it on their — her — bed.

No note.

No text.

No explanation.

He knew she’d spend days wondering if he was okay. If something happened.

He knew she’d call — again and again — until eventually she’d realize he wasn’t going to answer.

He knew she’d try to make sense of it.

Maybe she’d think she did something wrong.

And that was the part that gutted him most.

She’d never know the truth — that he still loved her so deeply it hurt to breathe.

That the last thing he wanted was to let her go.

That he cried the moment the door shut behind him and he was alone in the hallway, his suitcase by his side, her name caught in his throat like shattered glass.

────୨ৎ────

And when Y/N came home that night, everything was still. Too still.

The lights were off.

The air was cold.

The silence… was wrong.

She called his name. Once. Twice.

No answer.

And then she stepped into the bedroom and saw the hoodie — perfectly folded. Alone.

It hit her like a punch.

Her breath left her body.

And in that moment, she knew.

He was gone.

But she didn’t know why.

And maybe she never would.

She tried calling the boys. One after the other.

No one picked up.

Her chest tightened with every unanswered ring. Confusion turned to hurt — they had become her closest friends during the time she was with Felix. Late-night ramen runs with Chan, movie marathons with Jeongin, Han sending her playlists when she was sick. They had felt like family.

But now… nothing.

Not even Seungmin answered. And he always did.

What she didn’t know was that, on the other side of the city, all eight of them sat in silence in the practice room. The only sound came from the vibrating of their phones — one after the other, lighting up with her name. No one dared to move. No one dared to answer.

The guilt clung to the air like humidity, thick and suffocating.

Felix’s phone stayed dark.

She probably knew.

You’re a coward, his inner voice sneered.

And he didn’t fight it — because it was true.

────୨ৎ────

Hyunjin hadn’t meant to see her. He wasn’t trying to run into her.

It just… happened.

He saw her in the art supply store — his favorite store. The one he used to rave about. The one where he once helped her pick out brushes for a painting she’d made Felix for their anniversary.

She didn’t notice him.

Didn’t even glance up.

She moved through the aisles like a ghost — quiet, hollow, her steps slow, shoulders hunched under the invisible weight of something he couldn’t unsee.

Her eyes were tired. Worn out.

Full of sadness. But the kind you don’t cry out anymore. The kind that just settles. Heavy. Permanent.

He ducked behind a shelf, heart pounding, torn between guilt and shame. He watched her grab supplies with trembling fingers — watercolor paper, sketching pencils, a palette.

He knew her job was eating her alive.

He remembered the way Felix used to hold her after long shifts — cradling her, whispering into her hair, rubbing circles on her back until her hands stopped shaking.

Now she was alone.

Hyunjin swallowed hard.

He could’ve said something. Could’ve offered a smile, a hand, anything.

But he didn’t.

He stayed hidden.

Coward, he thought.

Just like Felix.

────୨ৎ────

Three years later, when Felix stepped into the quiet little café on a rainy Thursday afternoon, he was just looking for coffee. Maybe a moment to breathe — maybe even some peace.

What he didn’t expect…

…was a small body colliding into his legs with surprising force.

“Oof!” the child let out, falling back onto the floor.

Felix blinked in surprise, instinctively crouching down. The child didn’t cry — she just looked up at him with wide, curious eyes.

And the second Felix saw them —

He wanted to.

Her eyes.

He would’ve known them anywhere.

… just like hers.

He slowly took off his sunglasses and beanie, still crouched, still staring at the little girl. “Hey,” he said softly, his voice catching. “Are you okay?”

Before she could answer, a woman’s voice called out.

“Oh my god, sweetheart, please don’t run off like that — you know how scary your dad can get—”

The woman rushed over and took the girl’s hand.

Felix’s heart was already in his throat when he looked up.

He had expected it.

When he saw the eyes — when he heard the voice.

But still…

His entire world stopped.

Y/N stood in front of him.

She looked… different.

Not like his Y/N anymore.

Older. Exhausted. Her eyes didn’t shine like they used to.

Her mouth parted in shock. Her grip tightened around the child’s hand.

Felix opened his mouth, but nothing came out.

Then a man approached from behind her.

Older. Taller. Wearing a wedding band that matched the one on Y/N’s hand.

“Can’t you even get this stupid kid under control?” the man snapped. “For god’s sake, why can’t you do anything right, woman?”

Felix’s jaw tensed. He stood slowly, his hands curled into fists at his sides.

“I’m sorry, sir,” he said before he could stop himself. “It was my fault — she ran into me.”

The man glanced at Felix, eyes narrowing with disdain.

“Well, look at you. One of those K-pop fellas, huh?”

He gave Felix a long, disgusted look — then yanked the child’s hand out of Y/N’s grip.

“Let’s go.”

Y/N didn’t say anything.

She just looked at Felix one last time — eyes full of something unreadable — before she turned and hurried after them.

Felix stood frozen.

Watching the door swing shut behind her.

Feeling the emptiness crash back into his chest like it never left.

And this time, there was no one to blame but himself.

Coward.

[makeitworse]

THE LOVER⠀⠀⠀ ( 𝓸ne. )

a quiet café. a distant home. and the boy who made you feel seen for the first time in a long time.

𝓬ontains: f!reader x felix. 5k wc. infidelity. arranged engagement. mutual pining. fluff. angst. light smut. 18+

𝓷otes: lady chatterley’s lover had me very inspired, let’s just say i got carried away. this AU has a life of its own and might be one of my favourite works yet. i hope you all love it enough for more ♡

SERIES ❀ CONT.

𝓣HE CAFÉ WAS FINALLY quiet enough for you to spare a thought to yourself.

after what felt like hours of clattering mugs, half-shouted orders, and the dull murmur of students too tired to make real conversation, peace was once again yours. odette’s always had a nine to eleven rush. by now, you can predict these peaks down to the minute.

you hum to yourself as you wipe down the counter, hands returning to their rhythm that no longer needed thought.

wipe. stir. pour. press. wipe again. welcome that customer. don’t forget to smile. breathe. breathe.

you had to remind yourself to breathe a lot these days.

the place was affectionately named after the lake it overlooked— a cozy corner tucked away on the edge of campus, just past the east courtyard. on your morning walks over you’ve started to take note of the flowers blooming in soft pastels for spring. new beginnings, which seems to have skipped you.

out past the window, odette’s namesake glittered in the morning light, bustling with swans drifting across the water. you smile when you recognise your little lady.

you watch for her every day, sparing moments throughout your shift to check on her— this snowy beauty gliding along the lake, untouched by the chaos of the campus around her.

potential mates came and went: puffing their chests and spreading their wings, showing off for your lady who never gave them the time of day. she was always alone.

swan mate for life, you know. and she had yet to choose anyone. that simple fact resonates with you. you could only dream of feeling her freedom, if just for a moment, as you watch her from behind the glass pane.

the machines behind the counter sigh alongside you as they let out a low, exhausted hum. your supervisor’s out on a smoke break, so you allow yourself a moment to just space out as you mindlessly wipe surfaces; catch up on all the breathing you’d forgotten to do during the morning rush.

you suppose you can’t really complain. the job’s not terrible, and it kept you moving, socialising. occupied.

your father had arranged it— a quiet favour through a colleague at the university. a polite way of ensuring his daughter wasn’t just wasting away in the house all day alone.

it’s all you felt anywhere though.

you don’t have many friends. you’re weren’t a student, not a peer to anyone passing by. anyone your age was flitting in and out of classes, tethered to friend groups and schedules you didn’t belong to. you weren’t one of them.

the smell of espresso’s warm in the air. you move mechanically, able to make coffees with your eyes closed at this point, but there’s extra care in your fingers for one particular step: pouring the milk to make little works of art in a cup.

it’s silly. most people don’t even notice. but it’s your simple pleasure throughout the workday. that and your swan outside are the only things keeping you sane.

you take pride in each cup of coffee, even if the art only lasts a second before vanishing into someone’s first sip. swirls, hearts, vines and flowers. even yesterday, you felt confident enough to pour a swan.

you’re no pro at it. some of them are more abstract art than anything, in which case you’re glad customers don’t give it a second glance. but each little painting in a cup gives you something to hold onto. any customer you serve gets that extra attention and care. and that belongs to you— whether they pay it any mind or not.

it’s enough, to feel a sense of control. to remind yourself what the liberty of choice feels like.

the door chimes, snapping you out of your self-wallowing and robotic cleaning.

you’re a little startled as you turn to face the customer, sure that everyone would be in class by now.

you clear your throat and greet him, fingers nervously playing with your ring.

“hey— gosh, i’m so behind,” he checks his phone quickly, then raises his head. “sorry, i—”

he cuts himself off with a laugh. he sounds breathless— and god was his voice deep. you can’t help yourself to giggling with him, a little flustered.

he looks like he’s just as out of it as you are. blonde hair frazzled, face flushed pink. maybe he ran here.

“it’s been a morning.” he exhales, running a hand through his hair. you nod along, relating.

“what can i do for you?” you smile.

“actually, i was here yesterday. you made me a coffee. i sat over there,” he pointed to a booth in the corner. you try to think back, disappointed in yourself for not remembering him. “i took a photo of it.”

he taps his phone a bit before turning it to show you— a picture of the swan mug. you gasp, face splitting in a smile. he chuckles at your reaction.

“i was proud of that one!” you beam. he’s just made your day.

“it was really lovely. i wanted to get another today, but i’m running late.” he sighs. you smile, his compliment fluttering in your stomach. “could i just get the exact same one but to-go?”

you nod, swallowing thickly as you type his order on the tablet. you almost feel a little weak in the knees from talking to him— he’s so good looking. even pretty. and he’s gushing over that simple coffee you made him like it saved him from dying of thirst.

you glance up at him briefly, careful not to stutter as you lock eyes. “did you want a swan again?”

“actually,” he leans in, slightly bending over the counter, just to get closer to you. your lip twitches. “could you.. surprise me?”

words beyond you, you just nod your head with the giddiest smile. this guy’s full of delightful surprises.

as you get to making his coffee, he trails your steps from behind the counter. he stands as close as he can, chatting to you while you work.

he confessed that he was acting too shy yesterday— he had his head down as you placed the mug on his table, and you realise that’s why you don’t remember his face. you share a laugh about it.

you also learn it’s his sister’s fault that he’s late for class today, and that he’s studying for a bachelor’s in music.

before he can reveal any more about himself, you’re handing him his cup of coffee, the lid seperate.

as late as he is, he takes a moment to admire your work before taking a sip— a flower surrounded by leaves. with a quick thanks, he’s drinking from his cup and darting for the door.

you giggle to yourself as you watch him run across the grass, careful to cover his coffee so it doesn’t spill.

your supervisor walks in from the backdoor, a brow arched as she looks at you.

“do you know him?” she asks. she must’ve heard all the chatter, when you’re usually curt with customers.

you shake your head— and it dawns on you that you never even got his name.

⠀

⠀

such a fleeting moment had managed to make your whole damn week. it’s the first time you’ve ever actually connected with someone at work— not just robotically served. you can only hope he’ll come back, because he’s given you a newfound pride in your little arts.

the weekend follows after the day of, which you spend your quiet saturday at home practising with your coffee machine. it was a gift, which felt like more of a mockery, really. (who wants to bother making a coffee when it’s all you do everyday?)

today though, you’re using it as a pastime.

swapping out all the caffeine, you instead make yourself numerous mugs of hot chocolate as you practise the milk pouring. you experiment with different shapes, follow along with videos. you can’t stop smiling to yourself. you just wonder how he’d react, the blonde stranger.

that train of thought halts as you hear the door unlock; followed by shuffling as it shuts, and then eventually the sound of shoes coming down the hall.

“oh, you’re finally using it.” he calls as he enters the kitchen, tone bordering on mocking. you just stay quiet. he walks up to you, inspecting your work. “what’s all this?”

“i’m practising.” you reply. he chuckles, without humour.

it’s a callback to when he first bought it for you: justifying the purchase of a ridiculously expensive coffee machine just so you could ‘practise’ for your new job. it wasn’t gifted out of thoughtfulness, rather a bitter jab at the fact you even wanted to work. he knew it’s just an excuse to get out of the house— which he took personally. as if he’s ever home to feel your absence anyway.

“since you’re here, would you make me one?” he goes to kiss your temple. you turn away, acting like it’s to get him a cup, but you both know it was really to dodge him.

he lingers, watching as you reach into the cupboard for his coffee mug. he takes a step closer. when you set it down on the counter, he’s grabbing your wrist. you cuss as he tugs your arm, holding your hand up as his eyes flick to it, gaze hard.

“where’s your ring?” he asks lowly.

you fingers twitch on his palm. “i didn’t want to get it dirty.”

he’s still for a beat, before he releases your hand with a nod, walking off to the bathroom.

whether it’s a lie or not, he doesn’t care to ask.

you don’t care to ask either, how he wants his coffee.

you pour it black, leaving it on the counter for him to grab as you walk off— wordlessly shutting yourself in your room.

⠀

⠀

monday finds you at odette’s earlier than usual.

the sky’s still tinted with dawn when you arrive, a soft copper bleeding into clouds the shade of bruises. there’s a rare calm in the air, a peace that belongs only to you, just before the rest of the world wakes.

most days, you show up to work already spent, worn thin by cold shoulders and frostbitten glares at home. but this morning, it’s too early, and the day hasn’t yet gathered the strength to be cruel.

your coworker emmie greets you, raising a brow in pleasant surprise at the sudden pep in your step. a stark contrast to the lifeless girl who’d quietly trudge in for her shifts, two seconds from crying over the next minor inconvenience.

“you finally woke up on the right side of the bed,” she teases, nudging a tray of clean mugs toward you.

you hum, biting back the smile threatening to split across your face. you’d spent most of the weekend thinking about him— the freckled stranger with a voice like a cello’s low string, long fingers wrapped around the paper cup like he was beholding something precious. you’d imagined, just once or perhaps twice, what it might feel like to be held the same way.

not by him, necessarily. just generally. you tell yourself as much anyways.

it’s twenty minutes before the doors even open when there’s a soft knock on the glass.

you jump, but you’re recollecting yourself in the same second, already moving toward the sound— already hoping. and then you see him.

the pretty blonde again.

he’s standing there like he walked straight off the cover of a magazine; hair tousled from the wind, warm smile pulling at his lips. the morning glows gently on the edges of his face, freckles prominent in the sunlight.

you’re stood there smiling at each other in silence as emmie pokes her head around the corner. you can feel the confused look she’s giving you.

“okay, there’s no way our coffee’s that good.”

“i can tell him to wait.” you offer way too quickly, already halfway to the door.

she shakes her head, waving you off. “just go say hi to your boyfriend before we open.”

you don’t bother correcting her. the word sits sweet in the air, even if it isn’t true. instead, you toss your hand-towel aside and push through the door.

outside, spring air kisses your skin. the smell of jasmine dances in the breeze, the lake glittering under the sunlight just beyond the path. your pretty stranger blends right in to the season.

“you again.” you say, trying to sound teasing, but it comes out soft. almost like relief.

he smiles, bright and lopsided. “me again.”

a beat. you realise you still don’t have a name to his face, but as your mouth opens to speak, he beats you to it:

“sorry, i realised,” he mutters, tousling his golden curls, “i never asked your name.”

when you tell him, he repeats it on his tongue like he’s tasting it. grinning like he’d been waiting to. maybe he has.

“i’m felix.” he adds.

you repeat it in your head a few times to make sure it sticks. felix. meaning lucky, happy. it suits him.

“otherwise, you could just call me your most loyal customer.”

you laugh, scoffing, “you haven’t earned that yet.”

“no?” he exclaims. “guess i’ll just have to keep coming back.”

you can’t help how you smile, tilting your head in awe. “my coworker said our coffee can’t be that good.”

“well, let her know she’s wrong.” felix leans in with his voice low, gaze heavy. it’s like his eyes are saying something his mouth didn’t.

steering from wherever this is headed, you quip; “don’t think i can’t tell you’re just trying to earn a discount.”

he bites his lip, chuckling with that husky tone that makes your chest ache. it’s too warm. too easy.

felix glances down, and you swear you feel the air change. his eyes drop from your face— and for the briefest second, you worry they flicked to your left hand, noticing the ring. you brace yourself, but he doesn’t say anything. so neither do you.

you needed that humble reminder.

you don’t flirt. you haven’t thought to in a long time. you forgot what it felt like to be noticed— wanted— without any strings or expectations. and here’s felix, looking at you like you’re the only thing worth being up this early for. you really should pull away. cut this off. remember whose name you carry around on your finger.

but instead, you say, “well if you’re trying to earn the title, we open in fifteen.”

he flashes a boyish smile, sincere. “guess i’m taking a walk. let you miss me a little,”

you roll your eyes in mock annoyance— where you should’ve disagreed. but you’re sick of doing anything but what you want to.

felix can be your freedom. a choice that belongs to you, only you, and no one can control that or take it away.

“also, about what your coworker said—” felix pipes, walking backwards on the pavement. “it’s not just the coffee.”

for a beat, he holds your gaze, face full with an unmistakably flirty smile as he watches you realise what he meant.

but when your eyes widen in shock, mouth opening to react— he’s facing away, already too far down the path to hear.

you’re not sure what it is exactly that glows in your chest at his words, but it sits there long after you walk back in, emmie glancing at you strangely each time she catches you smiling for no reason.

maybe it’s just the relief of finally having found good company. you’ve wished upon a star for somebody, anybody, to call a friend. somebody who can remind you that you’re not completely isolated from the rest of the world. a person who makes the hours feel like yours again.

felix might just be your way out— even if it’s only for a few minutes each morning, a temporary distraction before you face your reality once you clock out of work. but it can be enough.

when the doors finally open, he returns like he never left. emmie gives you a nod as she disappears around the corner, as if to say he’s all yours.

felix doesn’t even have to tell you what he wants— you know his coffee order better than he does now.

he perches on a stool by the counter, munching on a toasted croissant as you make his coffee. he’s close enough to steal glances and trade smiles with you, but not get you in trouble for slacking.

with practised hands, you pour the milk into his cup in the shape of a tulip. emmie passes by, peering over your shoulder. she teases you for drawing ‘hearts’ in your boyfriend’s coffee.

you’re caught too off-guard to correct her, and on instinct, you’re glancing up— and you know felix heard but the way his smile deepens, eyes crinkling.

you hand him his paper takeaway cup, felix uttering a deep ‘thanks’ as he reaches for it— fingertips brushing yours. your stomach flutters at the contact. you don’t mention it. neither does he.

you should get back to work before the morning rush, but you linger instead. hold his gaze as he pops off the lid, inspecting your work, delighted.

“a tulip for spring?” his teeth flashes as he smiles, which slides into a smirk. “or hearts, for me?”

your face drops as you let out a groan. felix chuckles, taking it back.

to make it up, he has his first sip, humming contently.

“i could lie and say i just want a discount,” felix says, “but i’m hoping you’ll take the compliment.”

you blink, hesitant. the safe thing would be to smile politely, send him on his way. reaffirm that he’s just some student you make coffee.

but of course, you ignore that thought.

“when’s class?” you ask instead.

“just this morning. i’m free after that.” he glances up at you, and you’d almost think he looked nervous. “was hoping maybe, you’d tell me what time you knock off?”

a pause. you should probably tell him.

you should say that someone else waits for you at home. that your evenings aren’t really your own. that your life is not what it looks like.

but he’s standing there, eyes full of sunlight, voice gentle with hope.

so probably— probably not.

“not any time soon.”

“i’m patient.” he’s quick to reply.

the first round of customers filter in through the door, students bustling with chatter. in the same breath you’re telling him when the café shuts and excusing yourself, but felix softly calls after you.

wordlessly, he hands you a folded napkin, slipping out of his seat and uttering a goodbye before you can say more.

you slip the napkin into your back pocket, dashing behind the counter to serve the line of people waiting to order.

you slide back into routine— wipe, stir, pour, smile— and when you’ve got a second to breathe, you glance over at the window to catch sight of your snowy beauty.

a second turns to a minute as you stand there in disbelief. out there by the lake is felix: tossing bread crumbs into the water, surrounded by the chattering birds.

there’s one gliding close by, and you watch felix’s mouth move with words, greeting the swan with a smile. your swan.

you duck behind a wall, out of sight of your supervisor, and take out the napkin from your pocket.

you unfold it, sighing as you read what felix left for you, written in pen.

eight digits.

⠀

⠀

felix was waiting for you.

he’s perched on the short stone wall outside the café, scrolling on his phone as his legs swing slightly. the sun’s dipped low, dragging an aureate light across the sky that leaves golden tinsels in felix’s hair.

he looks up as you step outside, and that smile— sweet and crooked— greets you instantly.

you had offered to close up shop today. insisted, really. your supervisor hadn’t opposed as she left work early— leaving you alone for when you meet back up with felix.

you give one last glance around before you lock the front door. there’s no one loitering, no familiar faces passing by in the distance. you wouldn’t doubt it— there being people asked to watch over you. better to be careful.

better to pretend, momentarily, that it’s not a lie to stand here with felix.

“you waited here?” you scoff softly, joining him.

“of course i did.” he hops down, walking in stride with you like it’s the most natural thing in the world.

you smile, shying away as you glance to the side. “i saw you earlier. by the lake.”

his lip twitches. “ah yeah, feeding the swans.”

“thought you’d win her over today,” you remark, nodding toward the lake’s far side where your snowy lady likes to linger. “she’s a picky girl.”

“nah, she’s just playing hard to get.” his eyes flick toward the water, watching the gentle ripples beneath the afternoon’s glow. “or maybe she knows what she wants, and is just, waiting for the right one.”

the words sit heavier than they should.

were we still talking about swans?

you walk together in silence for a while, gravel crunching beneath your feet as you tread towards the lake’s edge.

there’s a bench near the water, slightly concealed by the trees, budding with vibrant petals that draft in the breeze. you sit there together, felix leaving a few inches of polite space between you.

a couple swans start trumpeting in symphony when they recognise felix. you giggle as they glide over on the water, obnoxiously honking in demand for more food.

at your soft noise, felix glances over to you, his lip quirked. you don’t realise it, but it spurs him on— and suddenly he’s mocking the swans, honking right back at them.

your laughter only encourages him till you’re patting his shoulder, telling him to stop being mean.

“it’s okay, they love me,” felix chuckles, picking up a stone from the ground. “they’re forever loyal to me.”

you giggle. “swans do mate for life.”

he glances at you, thoughtful.

you don’t meet his eyes.

“i’ve been meaning to ask,” he starts, then pauses, fidgeting with the stone as he rolls it around in his hand. “the ring.”

your body stills. felix makes a vague motion with his hand. he doesn’t want to say the word out loud— real— but he doesn’t have to. it’s all there in the breath he doesn’t take.

you nod. “it’s real, yeah.”

silence. you could cut through it with a knife.

you stare out at the lake, at your swan drifting alone. you wish you could trade places at will. she can deal with your employment and impending marriage while you swim and eat breadcrumbs from a gorgeous blonde.

felix breaks your train of thought as he tosses the stone to the lake, and you both watch it skip across the water. you exhale, just barely glancing at felix through your peripheral.

“sometimes it doesn’t feel like it,” you say quietly. “most of the time, actually.”

he doesn’t speak. after a breath, you crack.

“i don’t even know what i’m doing here,” you laugh bitterly, grabbing your forehead. “it’s all so stupid.”

you’re not even sure why, but your breaths come out heavy, exasperated— and your chest is heaving and your throat is closing. you consider biting your ring finger clean off and chucking it into the lake.

felix says your name, shifting closer. and then it all comes flooding out.

you’re just as surprised as him: one moment you were fine, then your voice cracks with a sob, and felix is closing the distance between you.

his arms come around you without hesitation, but carefully. you press your face into his shoulder before you can second-guess it. he smells like laundry powder and brown sugar and all the warmth you’ve gone without that you’ve so desperately needed.

felix holds you quietly. doesn’t ask more, just understands without needing all the ugly details.

“so that’s how it is,” he murmurs, maybe more to himself than you.

you shudder with another sob, and he’s cooing a soft: “hey, don’t cry,”

you finally pull back, wiping your tears across your face. you blink away the last of them, and your vision comes into focus on felix smiling at you— small and sad and full of something you don’t know what.

you take notice of the wet patches on his hoodie, and you crack up with laughter. he giggles with you, soft and deep.

“i wanted to show you something.” he stands suddenly, offering his hand.

you’d be a fool not to take it.

he leads you away from the lake by the hand, down a narrow path that veers off behind a grove of trees. you walk to a lone bench, covered with fallen leaves, surrounded by a patch of flowers. a quiet haven secluded from the nearby buildings— tucked into the edge of campus where no one but the groundsman really goes.

“it’s so pretty here,” you whisper.

felix looks at you instead. “it is.”

you know what’s coming before it happens.

felix shifts towards you, raising his palm again for you to hold. he’ll probably lead you further down the path, keep showing you more of his little hideaway.

but when you take his hand, your fingers curl around his quickly, and you’re leaning in— only stopping yourself once you’re a breath from felix.

your name falls from his lips, breathless. his jaw flexes. you’re not sure if he’ll push you off or pull you in. he just waits; adam’s apple bobbing with his eyes darting over your face.

you feel yourself tipping, slowly, towards him. and then he’s leaning in to meet you there.

the kiss barely even exists— just the soft press of his lips to yours, a whisper of a moment that’s over as soon as it came.

but it’s enough.

enough to shatter the delusion you’ve been clinging to— that it could be just friendliness, just harmless company to ease the ache of your lonely days and nothing more. you told yourself that you were just starved for conversation, for warmth, for someone your own age who looked at you like you were alive.

but this was never going to be just company.

it’s a crack in the dam. a current you can’t swim against. and you don’t want to even try.

because your lips are finding his again, and it’s different. deep, heavy. a question blending into a confession. you feel him exhale against you like he’s been holding his breath for days.

your fingers lace with the soft blonde at the nape of his neck, and his hands settle at your waist like he’s memorised every curve of you. there’s no hesitation now. no pretending. just heat and hunger, the kind that’s been simmering beneath every lingering glance, every shared laugh, every stupid reason he’s found to talk to you.

felix’s tongue teases your lips, tentative, before you’re parting your mouth to let the kiss deepen. you push yourself impossibly close to him, tugging gently on his locks and pulling a heavy sigh from his throat.

you don’t know if you’ve ever been this fired up for another person. you jut your face forward, tilting felix’s head with your hands to kiss deeper, to taste more of him. his fingers twitch on your waist— you know he’s still holding back.

you can’t help yourself to rolling you hips against him. a low groan from felix rumbles down your throat, a spotlight on the hardness pressing at your thigh.

suddenly his hands are snaking down, and you gasp when he grabs the underside of your thighs. you don’t even realise how, but suddenly felix has you sat down on the bench, kiss unbroken while hands trailing up your sides.

his mouth comes off yours in a breathless cuss, eyes hooded with want as he takes you in— panting, whining for him to come back.

he trails kisses along your jaw, hands sliding over your chest with a firm squeeze. you’re sure he feels how your heart’s drumming under his touch as he snickers lowly at your neck.

you shudder when his hand slides up your thigh, fingertips brushing over the fabric of your shorts. his eyes are on you the whole time, checking for hesitation, and coming up with none.

you blink, and suddenly felix is dropping to his knees, pulling you to the edge of the seat. his tongue darts out to wet his lips, and you’re gasping as his mouth latches onto your skin— tongue hot on your inner thigh. his fingers curl around your waistband, and he glances up, watchful as you writhe above him.

you nod then, permission to do what he’s asking to— and felix smiles like you just hung the moon in the sky.

and then your phone’s ringing.

your whole body jolts as the shrill sound slices through the moment. you’re already scrambling into your pocket for your phone, heartbeat stuttering.

the screen’s lit up with a name you’ve learned to dread, and you’re pulling away from felix in the next breath.

“i have to go,”

he stands with you, hands falling to his sides, blinking like you’ve just woken from the same dream.

“wait—” he reaches out, but doesn’t touch you, brows pinched like he’s afraid to burn you.

you shake your head. “i’m sorry.”

and then you’re gone— running, throat burning with bile, mouth still tasting of felix.

but you can’t look back.

because if you do, you might have second thoughts.

it’s not until you recognise the car pulling into view that you glance over your shoulder, checking that felix isn’t chasing after you, glass slipper in hand.

but there’s no prince charming to coming to save you. the clock strikes midnight as you reach for the door handle— your dress turning back into rags, and your real happily ever after waiting behind the wheel.

your lips still tingle with him. felix. with what could’ve been yours, and was never meant to be.

⠀

taglist (join here): @lightinbug @sherrayyyyy @ferrarifinnick @namsgyu @riddlerloveb0t @ttturnitup @breakmeoff @pinkpunkdynamite @hydeonysus @emmiesoverthemoon @burlesquerade @crashmunson @cathlyn11 @mysatnin @charlyxx @heartzfromscar @maxinehufflepuffprincess @aizshallnotbefound @inejghafawifesblog @bananamilkii @yutanize @dawgidkk @0ma0k @jchotch726 @animeotakugirl @saphire2110 @upirs @dezznuggetsblog @scvghh @dumbtrin @velvetmoonlght @kookiesandboba @tsweezey ← won’t let me tag :(

[nightmarenyxx]

𝓗𝓮𝓪𝓻𝓽 𝓒𝓱𝓮𝓬𝓴 1, 2, 3...

->.. Where Y/N lands a job at JYP Ent. and gets assigned to work with Stray Kids, a popular K-pop Boy Band and accidentally starts off on the wrong foot with Felix..

Warnings: cursing, angst, fluff, (idrk what more rn but I'll update it as I go)

Trope: Enemies to Lovers

Italics are thoughts (tho I don't know how much ill actually use these)

A/n: I KNOW it's hella short this time BUT I promise that the next chapter will be much much longer than this, I just don't know how much more I can extend this chapter..

You were nervous and excited as you stand at the big building in Seoul, also known as JYP Entertainment. You miraculously landed a job with the company and had just come in for your first day to be assigned to a group as a staff member.

Entering the building, you immediately go to the reception giving the lady at the desk a wide smile and giving her your details so she could inform you about the group that you'll officially be working with and the directions towards where they currently might be.

Following the directions to what seemed like the dance practice room you spotted a vending machine with drinks, rushing over, you get a coke and spot the dance room right across.

Taking a slight peek inside before going inside you spot the staff members, but none of the idols.

It's alright y/n, you can do it. Just don't bump into anyone and you'll be perfectly fine..

You turn the doorknob and..

*THUD*

You fell on the floor.

Great job y/n, did JUST the thing I told you not to do.

You open your eyes and see Felix. fallen. right in front of you. And his boba all over the floor. Your eyes widen as--

"Oh my gosh, I'm really sorry let me help you---"

"Leave it. I just wanted one damned thing to happen properly and not have it be messed up and some fucking lady decides to mess it all up. God why can I just have one normal day!? "

He gets up and leaves to what you assume is the washroom to clean up.

Kinda rude.

You proceed to get up and compose yourself enough to introduce yourself to the rest of the members, even though you already know them. Who wouldn't in this day and age?

Right as you go up to the others, felix comes from behind and joins them in the line and they start introducing themselves.

"Hana, dul, Step out annyeonghaseyo Stray Kids Imnida! "

You smile at them and introduce yourself too

"Hello! I'm y/n and I'm joining as one of your staff members as one of them have been fired for doing some things which they shouldn't have done, but dont worry because I'll make sure to have you guys be comfortable! "

The guys then disperse to eat their food and you visibly deflate and look around the entire room when you notice the person you know as Han Jisung coming towards you with a buldak Tteobokki and chopsticks.

"Y/n right? I'm Han Jisung, member of 3racha which is the producing unit of Stray Kids. I hope you have a great time with us and dont mind Felix, he's usually a sunshine but his day has not been going good today so he's just really cranky"

He says all this while looking like an actual quokka with food stuffed in his cheeks. He actually does look like a quokka.

"Ah, that's why he's so different.. It's understandable, even I would be hella grumpy if my day wasn't going well.. "

Just as he finishes his Tteobokki, the kids have to go elsewhere for a meeting with the other producers.

"You guys have meeting with producers as well? " You ask Jisung confused

"Well yeah, since we have concerts coming up, the producers need our opinions on the tracks and beats in them. "

They have a concert coming up? How did I not know that? The hell?

You follow them to the producing room, trying not to piss Felix off and communicating with the other members while he just keeps staring at you.

Weirdo.

Taglist: @jisunggy @skyracha @staytinyarmy @niki788 @ilovetocas1 @d3kstar @velvetmoonlght @hash2013 @hwangjoanna @st4rv3lly @angel-writes-skz-here (open)