#you dont like to watch characters going thru it?

[unusualshrimp]

[feeling a bad emotion] ah well it's nothing that rewatching the rainy walking scene of warm bodies can't solve

[b4kuch1n]

in the video game pikmin four by nintenbo your player character has an option in ur menu that is "rewind time". positing this as a power that you have that nobody else seems to. at least to ur perception. this power is commonly how u achieve dandori beast status by getting practice in thru repeating dungeons. the other dandori supercharged character in the game is louie. he knows how to cook alien animals perfectly seemingly through repeated experiment. but he has not wiped out any species in a certain are yet . do you see my vision

[manic-pixie-dream-dude]

I've been watching/reading Death Note every once in a while for the last couple of months and this is the funniest most unserious serious anime ever.

[casualavocados]

ive watched 3 seasons of 911 in a week. and yeah i also watched the last two s7 eps that came out. yes ive seen spoilers for like the whole show and im still having fun. and hey, the next ep doesnt come out till may so i have time to catch up! (i dont think itll take me three weeks to watch three more seasons)

[sh1-n0bu]

so,,,, despite being a monsterfucker for a while, i never really got the love for yautjas. until i was forced to watch killer of killers due to the rampage going on my feed and uhhhhh im pretty sure there are at least a handful of monsterfuckers out there who wants to top/dom a yautja like myself. also this isnt much of a fic. its just a sudden little thought i had after going thru the rule 34s tag of yautjas. no yautja in particular, take it as you will, imagine whoever you like. i dont know anything about yautjas or how this all works. im just horny and freeballing it. feel free to correct me

so… yautjas huh? what an alien species and mind you, this is my first impression of these guys. despite the majority of the killer or killers tags thirsting over the warlord — as we all should — i found myself liking the viking predator a lot. the goons are cute too. the three predators of the movie parts even have names too. jotun, oni and baron in the order they appear. of course, the guy in the pic above, the last one everyone is thirsting over, is warlord predator, also called ‘Grendel King’ by one of the characters

anyways, enough geeking over the yautjas of the movie, time to move on to my actual brainworms

yautjas are alien species and just as they are humanoid, some parts of them are indeed humanoid. and some parts, not so much. i have seen a decent amount of yautja smuts on the yautja tag — haven’t read them yet bc i prefer to be the one to fuck rather than get fucked — but one headcanon answer had me thinking multiple things

yautjas — male, female doesn’t matter — have two dicks and a vagina as well as an asshole. bigenital, if you will. every yautja can therefore sire their young, but the female yautjas tend to sire them and grow them in their bellies due to their stomach having more padded muscles, serving as a protective meat shield for the babies. the male yautjas carry them as well, but it’s more common to see the females carry them

i can’t find the author but one author here on tumblr had given their thought that yautjas never knew about blowjobs and lemme add to that — fingering as well. look at their mouths and hands, full of claws, fangs, mandibles and shit. truly a creature meant for hunting and killing rather than feeling fleshly pleasure. yautjas don’t really care about it either, they’re more of an animal mating ritual type of pleasure seekers. find a yautja who shakes your fancy, court them, knot them full and have a few strong, next generation of young’ins. simple and straight to the point like an animal mating ritual. no need for foreplay, fighting and wrestling to see who will knot who is a foreplay enough for their species

blowjobs? never, unless one is trying to bite off the dick of the other one. their mandibles stretch and open, sure. but they will never stretch big enough to take the other’s dick into their mouths. even if they do manage to painfully keep their mandibles open at all times, their fangs and canine sharp teeth will lead to bleeding and injuries soon enough. so even if their two dicks are weeping at the tip, untouched, and their pussy is glistening wet, the easiest way to just get it done with is to fuck their cocks into the other’s folds. it’ll be full of yowls, cracks, chirps and even growls because i personally like to think that the yautjas have a ribbed dick with a spliced tip. not that their tips could open up like their mandibles, but it definitely gives odd sensations. add the constant bumping and ribbing feeling of the scales and folds of their cock and the mating session between yautjas are usually always loud

so what happens when a ‘ooman is thrown into the mix? a great fighter, a blooded one who has been marked by one of their kin (like lex in avp), a recurring champion from the gladiatorial combat? yautjas are impressed, respectful and some are even vying after your attention on the few occasions you’re allowed awake from the cryo sleep and wandering around the strange, deserted, hot world of theirs. their kin usually has a bias against ’oomans due to their race being resourceful and cunning. they’re just as smart as the yautjas, if not, even more. able to use whatever is around them for survival and able to keep going even after multiple injuries (bc adrenaline). they’re an annoying species and yautjas tend to stay away. a little bit less with you, though. they want to be in the presence of the undefeated champion of the gladiatorial combat, size you up and see if you are truly worth the heavy title you bear upon your meager ‘ooman shoulders

maybe one thing would lead to another or one had gotten interested in your strengths in the bedroom as well and that leads to a yautja receiving their first head and fingering. the moment you drop them to the ground and settle between their legs, the yautja is tempted to wrestle. it is a foreplay between their kin after all. but no, he was dealing with a ‘ooman right now and as excited he was about getting to the fucking, he was also curious. how do ‘oomans show affection? how do they mate? how do they carry their young? so many questions, so little time

they would stay down and obedient, an occasional curious thrills and crackles leaving their throat as their mandibles click and clack softly. mutually curious as well, you finally manage to take off their intricate and annoying loincloth like thing, dropping it to the ground. and the hum that escapes you is equally returned by the yautja as they watch, the soft clicking of their ever moving mandibles filling the silent room. a slit like opening. two of them, even, with what you assume is an asshole underneath them. rubbing the back of your finger’s knuckle over the one on top, you hear the slight rumble from their chest like a purr, taking it as a good sign

the slit on top is bigger than the one underneath. they’re much more harder and covered with protective shells and scales as well, rather then the second one underneath that seems more softer and gummy like a vagina. messing with the scaled one, you watch with an ever growing interest as the slit opens more and more before a cockhead is pushed out, followed by a second cockhead which was a little bit smaller. so, the yautjas have both anatomies huh? like certain animals and how their two cocks are kept inside a protective slit like some reptiles and lizards’

it’s bumpy, it’s ribbed, it even has little round shaped ribs on its sides too. such curious beings, how alike they could be to your kin but also so different. of course, there was much needed poking, prodding and an eager snooping around. two large uniquely shaped cocks and a vaginal opening as well as an asshole. interesting

hearing the impatient hisses of the yautja, you merely grumble under your breath, hissing back at him with annoyance upon being cut short of your little experiment. what do yautjas even do for pleasure anyways? do they fuck like humans do? must be it, right? at least they had the anatomy for it

the moment you get down on them, head between their strong, tight thighs and restless shifting body, a sound like a warning growl was heard before it was swiftly replaced by some soft noises like the purring of a cat. yautjas don’t know what blowjobs and fingering meant after all, their bodies prevented from such types of pleasure. so when your soft, small ‘ooman mouth took in the head of the bigger cock, the warmth around it felt like the yautja was melting in the fiery chasms of the many volcanoes of the yautja prime. it was soft, it was hot and it felt good. way too good to the point the creature was growling, groaning and even letting out odd hitched noises that you guessed was the closest to a moan

and when you put their entire dick into your mouth — with much anticipated gagging, choking and the constant wild bucks into your open mouth — deep throating the bigger cock while gently stroking their smaller cock using the slimy substance the tip oozed, the yautja has basically experienced heaven. the urge to just let go of ‘honor’ and ‘instincts’ and knot inside your warm, tight throat was strong. a deep, gurgly sound escaping them as their mandibles shook all over, unknowing of what to do when your free hand slipped further down and pushing your finger into their softer slit

if you thought the yautja was loud before, they were even louder now. constant, short little noises leaving them, rattling their huge body and even causing you to shake alongside as well. strong legs kicking and clawed hands tearing off the poor floor into shreds. it was a good feeling, the very best, even more than having a clan leader recognize them or hunting down the most honorable prey. ‘oomans’ hands and mouth felt good, they were amazing at fleshly pleasures and had the yautja acted on their interest in you a little bit earlier, they would have. they honestly should have because whatever you were doing to his poor life time long neglected dicks and gushing pussy were making the yautja feel odd. so so very odd. a tight coiling in their stomach, and they for a moment, thought you infected them with something

and then, the tight coils of his stomach is gone within a moment. a loud roar leaving the beast as their body went rigid like a spring, dreadlocks slipping into the floor in a heap as their legs even gave a little tremble. the tip lodged inside your throat twitched and shook, a thick substance filling up your mouth before you could pull it off, causing you to hack and cough out the strange liquid. it didn’t take long until their smaller dick was following along, spilling a smaller load into your jaws and chest, second slit tightening around your fingers as a soft, more thinner liquid like the one from his bigger cock coat your palm. all because your little ‘ooman fingers delved inside their cunt a bit further and seemed to have found a soft spot, loud roars and short breathy growls being switched to little cat like yowls. so, they were just as sensitive as humans, huh?

safe to say, the rumor of ‘oomans being extremely amazing at fleshly pleasures spread across yautja prime swiftly and before you know it, more and more yautjas are interested in a little endurance test with their longest reigning champion

[daechwitatamic]

You Think You Might - Chapter 5 || csc

(banner by @itaeewon)

You Think You Might (masterpost)

Seungcheol x fem!reader angst smut fluff fake dating!au, kind of sort of exes to lovers?

NSFW - minors DNI

Summary: Seungcheol agrees to be your fake boyfriend at your sister’s destination wedding, under the condition that it “stays there”. You didn’t expect it to hurt when he holds you to that promise.

WC: 54k across 5 chapters; this chapter 8k

Status: complete; this is the final chapter

Warnings: language, excessive drinking and drunkenness, i did make seungcheol cry just once and i'm not sorry, reader continuing to go thru it, angst, kissing, oral (f. receiving), piv sex, the teeeensiest tiniest bit of barely there ass play do not even LOOK at me i dont know who wrote that, reader says if you demand to be on my island then i am getting OFF the island and we all should have seen it coming

A/N: thank you to @sailorsoons and @eoieopda for beta-ing and to @kkaetnipjeon for naming almost every background character for me

October

When your phone rings at 1:20 in the morning, it feels like a stone sinks through your stomach. Some instinct knows what this is before you even read his name on the screen. Like part of you has been waiting since early summer for him to break, afraid of your own reaction, afraid you’ll do the wrong thing and let him.

“What’s up?” you answer, which strikes you as funny, because it’s the middle of the night and you’re half-asleep. Nothing about this is casual - this isn’t going to be a call about grabbing extra beer for Soonyoung’s house. 

“Come drink with me.”

Four words, and you know everything you need to know. The background noise is deafening - thumping, shattering club music and the cacophony of dozens of conversations being carried at a volume meant to rise above the music. 

The words are also slurred nearly past recognizability. 

He’s fucked up. 

Going to him would be a mistake.

But you want to. You want to. 

You’re already moving towards your closet in the dark.

“Where’s your girlfriend?” you ask sarcastically, even as you reach the lamp on your dresser and switch it on, casting your room in a low yellow light. You pick out a pair of jeans and a sweater - you won’t be staying at the club with him, you don’t need to dress up. You’ll tell security you’re just getting someone home - they’ll let you through.

“Wish I knew,” he says darkly. “Actually, no I don’t. If I did, I’d go there. Promised my mom no more fights.”

He sounds so gone. Your heart wrings itself out like laundry fresh from the wash, water and blood pouring from it. You ache for him, want to pull him close, want to soothe the hurts. You pull the sweater on quickly. 

“Did you argue again?” you ask, mostly to keep him talking while you get ready. You poke around your room for a wayward sneaker.

He laughs, once, no humor in it. “Worst we’ve ever had. She took her shit this time.”

“Seungcheol,” you say, all pity. “I’m sorry.”

“Come drink with me,” he answers, more firmly this time. He sounds a bit more lucid, like answering your questions tethered him back to now. “I hate being alone.”

You tuck in your laces and grab your keys. “I know you do,” you say softly. “Send me your location.”

As expected, you tell the bouncer you’re just here to get your friend out of there and he lets you inside, even asks if you think you’ll need help.

“Nah,” you say easily. “He’ll come with me.”

It takes some effort to move through the crowd until you reach the bar, but Seungcheol is there, an empty glass in front of him, and his chin propped up on his hand, his eyes unfocused.

You slide in the seat next to him - miraculously empty - and order yourself a beer and a water for him. You don’t talk to him until they’ve arrived, until you’ve watched him down a third of the water.

“Why am I here, Seungcheol?” you ask him, finally, quiet. You’re not sure how much of him is present right now, not sure what kind of answer you’ll get.

But he seems to have come back around since he first called you, because his answer is, “Aren’t we supposed to be friends?”

“Is that why you called me? Because you needed a friend?” you ask. It’s a dangerous question; it’s a dare. It’s a challenge, it’s a first expression of this fucked-up limbo the two of you have tried to maintain. It’s a mistake that you can’t stop yourself from making, the inertia carrying you even when you know you should swerve. 

You’re lucky - he’s not too far gone to know exactly what game you’re playing, and to remember he’s not supposed to play. 

“I called you,” he says, dark eyes flashing up to yours, “because I didn’t want to sit here alone. I wanted to be… with someone good. Good to me.”

The words are unsteady, wobbly, but you think they might still be a version of the truth.

There are a lot of things you could say back to that, and they all jump into your mouth at once. But you’re supposed to be staying off the boat, right?

“Drink your water,” you tell him, and something in your tone must tell him not to fuck with you, because he listens. When you’ve both finished - you, your single beer, and him, the entire glass of water - you tell him, “Let’s go home.”

He rises without a fuss, and you lead him by the hand through the noisy throngs of people and out inside the silent, chilly night. His hand in yours is warm, clinging to you so tightly it almost hurts.

You drive him back to his place in near silence. He only speaks to mutter two-word directions at you - turn left and next exit and this one.

You take his keys from his hand and lead him across the parking lot to his building’s door, realizing halfway there that he’s stopped following you. You turn, finding him standing in the middle of the parking lot, unmoving.

Hesitantly, you make your way back toward him. 

“Cheol?” you venture, and when he turns to you, his face is twisted, a storm in his eyes. 

His voice doesn’t even sound like him - choked and raspy and loud - when he asks you, “Why does she do this to me?” He swipes a closed fist across his eyes, the picture of misery.

You close the space between you and gather him in your arms; drunk and broken, he lets you. You hold him steady as he cries into your shoulder, his own hands coming to clutch desperately at your back, like you’re the only thing holding him down in the face of a hurricane.

You hold him as long as he needs, the two of you alone in the middle of the pavement, the night expanding silent and blue around you. 

When he gives a final shaky exhale and loosens his hold on your back, you let him step away, your hands falling to your sides. You watch his face carefully as he roughly scrubs at his cheeks with the heels of his hands. 

“Sorry,” he mutters, embarrassed. 

You shake your head, don’t be, but don’t speak. You don’t know the right thing to say; you don’t know if he’s in the right place to hear you.

You’ve never been to his place before, so he leads you inside, taking an unnaturally long time to get his key in the lock. You don’t offer to help, knowing he doesn’t need you to baby him right now, doesn’t need you to make him feel like he can’t do it.

Inside, he clicks on the lights and stumbles through a dark doorway that you assume must lead to his bedroom. You look around for a second - it’s neater than you expected, but looks lived in. There’s a hoodie thrown over the back of a kitchen chair, and a lone mug in the kitchen sink waiting to be washed. You open a few cabinets until you find glasses, and you fill one with water. Then you follow the sounds of thumps through his still-dark bedroom and into the brightly lit en-suite.

Seungcheol looks at you like he’s not sure where you came from, the toothbrush stilling in his mouth.

“Water,” you explain, needlessly, and he nods, still looking a bit baffled. 

You wait in his bedroom until he flicks off the bathroom light and stumbles out and straight into his bed. You set the water down on his bedside table and back away.

“You good?” you ask. You mean, mostly, are you going to throw up in your sleep, or can I leave? 

He pulls the blankets over his head, then pushes one eye out and looks at your blearily.

“There are three of you,” he says seriously, his low voice muffled by the thick blankets.

“All three of us will be on the couch if you need… help, or anything,” you deadpan.

He’s too drunk to appreciate the joke. That one visible eyeball just stares at you, and then he mutters, “Is it fucked up that I missed you?”

You huff a tiny laugh.

“Goodnight, Seungcheol,” you say, instead of answering. “Yell if you need me.”

He only hums, not really an answer, but you’ll take it. You close his bedroom door behind you and survey his living room. You turn on a low lamp and then cross the room to turn off the brighter overhead lights. You get comfortable, scrunching up the throw pillow under your head and pulling a blanket from the back of the couch. 

You thought you’d have trouble sleeping here, alone in a place you’ve never been, but the blanket smells like him, and you feel safe knowing he’s on the other side of the door, and it doesn’t take long at all before you’re drifting off.

You’re woken up mid-morning by a body draping itself heavily over your side, then sliding behind you to slip between you and the back of the couch. His arm rests on top of you, his hand on your shoulder.

You giggle before you even open your eyes. “Hello?” you ask, trying to peer over your shoulder, but Seungcheol holds your shoulder tight, stopping the motion.

“You can’t look at me,” he says seriously, his voice sleepy and soft. “I’m too ashamed.”

You laugh again.

“I am seriously so sorry,” he says, still hiding behind you. He’s warm and solid against your back, and you relax against him, smiling despite yourself. The room is lit up brightly from the morning sun, the lamp you had on last night now turned off. “For calling you… for making you come out in the middle of the night… for everything I said… for…”

For breaking down. You hear it even though he doesn’t say it.

“You don’t need to be sorry,” you tell him quietly, reaching up to rest your hand on top of his where it rests on your shoulder. “If I didn’t want to come out, I wouldn’t have. And you don’t need to apologize for… feeling how you feel, or for letting me be there for you. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“This is very embarrassing for me,” he mumbles against your head.

You roll over so you can face him, and he lets you. You look up at him, trying to reconcile the sheepish man in front of you to the broken one you saw last night. It occurs to you, as you lay chest to chest with him on the couch, that this is the closest you’ve been since you slept together in July.

You hate how right it feels - no awkwardness, no uncertainty.

“You shouldn’t be embarrassed,” you whisper.

His mouth twists like he doesn’t quite see it the same way. “Thanks for getting me home,” he says, instead of arguing or agreeing. “At… two in the morning.”

You shrug one shoulder, very aware of how dangerously close to cuddling you are, as he places his arm over your back, his hand resting near your shoulder blades. “It makes me happy that you felt comfortable calling me when you needed someone,” you tell him. “I’m glad I could be there for you.” It might be the most honest thing you’ve ever said to him.

It had - it had made you happy to take care of him the way he’d taken care of you at that resort. It made you happy to be the one that he let in, who got to see him when he wasn’t put together.

It might be complicated, but it’s still true. You’re happy to be here.

You lay there - yes, cuddling, technically - for a little bit, and then you look at him again. His gaze is warm this morning, full of affection and gratitude.

“Hey…” you say, unsure if this is the right move, “I know you asked me to, like, stay out of it. And I’ve been trying to. But… can I ask you something?”

He sighs a little, pressing his hands to his eyes for a moment before looking at you again. The movement cracks the cuddle, and you push yourself up to sitting. He does the same, so that you’re side to side and upright again. 

“Yeah,” he relents. “I guess you have the right, after last night.”

“Why stay?” you ask him earnestly. “Why keep trying, when all of us - including both of you - know how it’s going to go?”

“Because,” he says darkly, averting his eyes.

“Because isn’t a reason,” you point out.

He huffs, frustrated, but you wait him out. “I just… want to prove that… it could work. That I’m not… so fucked up that it can’t.”

You put a hand on his knee, and his eyes flick to yours.

“I can solve that one for you: you’re not. And it sucks that she made you feel like you are.”

“It’s not all her fault,” he mumbles.

“No,” you agree. “It really isn’t. But, Seungcheol, if a couple works, it’s not about their worthiness, it’s not the universe deciding they’re good enough. It’s about the two people involved, and their willingness to put pride aside and try - to communicate, and make sacrifices, and fight for it. And I know you’re capable of all that - because when you were pretending, you were perfect. More than perfect.”

His face softens, those flickers of anger and defensiveness falling away. You sit in silence, looking at each other, the air between you charged and full of tension so thick you could sink your fingers into it like a ball of dough.

The ugliest part of you, hidden way down deep, rises up and whispers, choose me. 

You hate this selfish voice, hate yourself for wanting this even after everything, but you can’t silence the part of you that’s pleading for him to realize he’s been chasing his tail in circles, to realize that he has an option in front of him that could be great if he gave it a chance.

You force yourself up, breaking the spell, going silently to find your keys and your shoes. 

Still, even as he watches you go, the want claws up your stomach, through your limbs, into your fingertips. 

You pause in the entryway, looking back at him. For a long moment, his eyes stay locked on yours, pinning you to the spot.

You clench your jaw to shove down the words, but they flow through your gaze straight to his anyway.

Choose me. Choose me. Please, choose me. 

From the way he sits still on the couch, you think he must hear your plea. You think he must be considering. You finally break eye contact, giving him a tight nod and turning away. Then you close the door behind you, leaving him alone with the choice.

The next weekend at Soonyoung and Chan’s, Seungcheol isn’t present.

The realization goes through you like ice, your heart skipping and galloping with all the implications of it.

“Ah, yeah,” your brother says, when you ask. “He and Jieun went away for the weekend. He’ll be back tomorrow.”

You turn away as casually as you can, trying to school your features. The news hits you like a punch.

He and Jieun. He picked her. 

He picked her, and took her away for a romantic trip to solidify it. It makes you nauseous. You’d been trying to accept this truth - that she would always win - and yet somehow you’re still surprised. 

Stupid. Stupid.

Fine, you think, taking a slow breath in to calm your systems. It’s fine. You wanted him to choose, and he did. Now you know for sure. Now it can be over.

And it has to be - over. You can’t do this again. You can’t open up and let him in just to watch him slip back to her again. Not again.

It sucks, but you don’t feel like you can talk to Soonyoung about this. Not because he wouldn’t hear you, or support you. But at the end of the day, Seungcheol has been his friend for a long time - you don’t want to put him in the middle, or in an uncomfortable spot. 

You sit on it for a few days, and then you crack and do something you’ve never done in your whole life.

You call your sister. Just to talk.

“Hey!” she greets you brightly, like she’s pleasantly surprised to hear from you. Which is fair. “What’s going on?”

“Not a lot,” you lie. “How about you?”

“Same ‘ol, same ‘ol,” she sighs, not unhappily. “Jeongwoo is on a work trip until tomorrow night, so I’m sitting here having a sleepover night by myself - painting my nails, binging some Real Housewives, and drinking wine.”

“Sounds amazing,” you say.

“Feel free to join me,” she says, and you hear the smile in her voice. You wonder if you could ever get there - to the point where you’d even consider that offer from her, to the point where you’d want to go hang out with her.

The idea of it sounds kind of nice.

“Maybe next time,” you say, and you almost mean it.

“What’s going on with you?” she asks.

“Seungcheol called me drunk from the bar at one in the morning on Saturday,” you blurt. It bursts from you, unbidden, though you know that unburdening yourself of this was the whole reason you called.

“Oh my god, what?” she breathes. “Did you answer?”

You laugh. “You don’t even know what a silly question that is,” you say, and it doesn’t occur to you that you’re just saying ‘you don’t know me at all’, but you are. “Not only did I answer, I went to pick him up and drive him home, and then I slept on his couch to make sure he didn’t die of alcohol poisoning.”

Nayoung swears. “You two are messy messy,” she says, and you laugh, because - yeah. “Where’s his girlfriend?”

“Oh,” you say. “Yeah, that’s an important detail. They had a fight and she turned off her location, which is why he went off the rails at the bar in the first place.”

“Okay,” Nayoung says, and you can almost picture her holding up a hand to stop you. “Back up and start at the beginning. Tell me everything.” 

You do, starting with his phone call that night, ending with his absence at Soonyoung’s last Friday, the indication that he’d taken Jieun on a romantic weekend away, that he’d heard what you’d said and made his choice definitively.

“Oh,” she says as soon as you’re done, the word rushing from her, “he wants you so bad.”

“What?” This is not the reaction you’d expected. This is also the opposite of how you see the situation.

“He got sad and called you,” she points out. “He needed comfort and he turned to you. To me, that says a lot.”

You hum. “I don’t know. He called me because he was drunk and the girl he wanted had him blocked.”

“I don’t think so,” she says. “I think some part of him knew you were a safe place to turn to.”

Someone good to me. 

You let out your breath, frustrated. “What does that do for me?” you demand. “He chose her!”

“I don’t know,” she says. “He’s gotta figure it out sooner or later, that you’re what he wants - right?”

“You’d think,” you mutter sarcastically.

“He’ll be back,” she says, sounding sure. “He’ll figure it out.”

“I don’t think I care, though,” you say. “Even if he did… he’s picked her over me too many times. I don’t want to be his second choice, I don’t want to always wonder if he’d rather be with her.”

“Well,” she says, “I know I haven’t been married that long, but my advice as someone with a very solid relationship - if I do say so myself - is to just ask him how he feels about it… and trust what he tells you.”

You don’t respond, your lips pressed tight together. Because you don’t - can’t - trust him to mean it when he says he’s done with her. He’s switched up on you too many times. He could tell you day in and day out that it’s you, but you will always feel Jieun’s shadow hovering behind you. There’s no way around it.

You think you might hate her, and that makes you sad, too - because it’s not even her fault.

It’s pouring on the night that Seungcheol shows up at your door - the kind of rain that comes down only sideways, soaking your feet, hair, and even through your jeans in some spots in the short time it takes you to dash from your car to the building’s front door.

You’re still wiping water from your face, shaking it from your sleeves, trying to tame your damp hair when you round the corner to your hall and spot him outside your door.

Your stomach sinks immediately, instinct and past experience telling you that he and Jieun fought again, that the merry-go-round has brought him to the come to you for comfort phase of the cycle once again. 

You’re tired - tired of fighting how you feel for him, tired of feeling guilty for wanting someone that’s not yours, tired of feeling pathetic for wanting someone who doesn’t want you, tired of picking him up every time he comes crawling to you low and angry. 

But you approach him anyway - what else can you do? It’s your apartment.

When he turns to face you, you’re so surprised that you actually falter in your steps, tripping over nothing and having to right yourself.

He looks happy - he looks good, and somehow himself in a way you haven’t seen since Nayoung’s wedding over the summer. There’s no storm behind his eyes, no crease in his brow, no heavy weight to the corners of his mouth, no tightness to his jaw or heaviness on his shoulders.

“Hi?” you venture.

His smile crawls across his face, dimples deepening by tiny degrees at a time. It takes your breath away - you hadn’t realized it, but you haven’t seen him happy like this in so long. He’s beautiful. You miss this version of him. 

“Hey,” he says, dimples deepening. “Can we talk?”

“Sure,” you say, digging out your keys. “Is everything okay?”

“Very,” he says, emphatically but cryptically. 

You raise an eyebrow at him and cross your arms.

He laughs, like you’re being cute. It makes you scowl, but it also makes your stomach flutter. “Can we talk inside? This isn’t really a… hallway conversation.”

You give him a wary look and move past him to unlock the door. He follows you inside and hovers behind you as you flick on lights and set down your things. You’re still water-logged from the rain, and you cross into your bedroom to change into something dry. Seungcheol hangs back in your living room, patiently waiting for you to emerge.

“Okay,” you say, “what’s up?”

He opens his mouth to speak, then closes it again. Something crosses his face - uncertainty, maybe. He steps closer, hands reaching for your elbows. You let him draw you closer, into the circle of his warmth, his smell, his solidity. You look up at him, a question in your eyes.

“I have to just say it,” he says, almost to himself, almost like a reprimand. Like he’s giving himself a pep talk. “I want to try with you. I want to do it for real.”

You stare at him, eyes wide. Whatever you were expecting, it wasn’t this. 

“Seungcheol, what?” You’re almost convinced that you heard him wrong, or that you’re misunderstanding what he’s saying. Your brain whirs as it tries to process, to find the slip-up.

He shifts closer, your bodies almost touching, and you tip your head up to keep his face in your line of sight. 

His voice lowers, softens, turns into something private and pleading. “I know we could be good together. Give me a chance to prove it. I didn’t think I could do it, before. But.. I can. I will.”

Somehow his hands have gone from your elbows to your upper arms, your bodies inching closer and closer like drifting continents, coming closer so slowly it’s impossible to see the movement.

You manage to speak, your words stumbling over each other. “But - Jieun?”

He shakes his head. “Gone,” he says firmly. Your stomach swoops, but the feeling of elation is chased immediately by a dark wave of doubt. “For good. I’m not doing that shit anymore. I’m not…” he trails off, thinking, then calls back a conversation you’d had months ago, on a sandy beach hundreds of miles away - “…accepting an ending that’s less than what I want.”

“I don’t understand,” you breathe. 

“I want to really try with someone who will actually try with me. I like you. So, please. Let’s try.”

Your heart races so fast that you feel a little dizzy as you consider his offer. You’re afraid of him hurting you again, changing his mind again. You’re afraid of accepting him and then letting him down, making him regret it all. You’re afraid of him becoming just another person who gets tired of you and walks away. 

But your feelings for him haven’t dissipated at all over these months, no matter how firmly you’ve tried to store them away. You want to feel close to him again. Very little in your life has felt as safe as being close to Seungcheol feels. 

You want to feel good again, too.

Your bodies are touching now, his arms fully around you, your faces so close you could kiss him without reaching. 

“Give me a chance,” he murmurs, his eyes tracing your face.

“I’ll give you a night,” you breathe, nearly against his lips. “We can go from there.”

His arms close around you instantly, his mouth finding yours - this was all the permission he needed. You melt into him, hands sliding up his back, already beneath the hem of his shirt, seeking skin, seeking warmth, seeking him. 

The way he clings to you as he kisses you makes you wonder if he’s been missing this, too - if you aren’t the only one whose single dose failed as a cure, only left you wanting.

You peel his shirt over his head slowly, reveling in every line and ridge of muscle as they are exposed one by one. You feel possessive of him, suddenly, want to carve your name across his ribs, want to make sure no one forgets that you were here, that at least for this moment he was only yours.

He does the same, making quick work of the hoodie that you’d just pulled on, tossing it towards the couch. He smirks a little when he spots the lacy edges of your bra - thank god, thank god you’d picked a cute one today - and remarks, “Pretty,” before pinching the clasp open with one hand and discarding it in the same direction that your hoodie and tshirt had just gone.

He kisses you again, hot and deep and seeking, as his hands find and knead your breasts firmly, something possessive in his touch - like, once again, you match. Your knees go a little weak and you lean into him, a wanting sound slipping up your throat and disappearing into his open mouth. 

His thumbs brush your nipples once and the sound turns into a whine. He breaks the kiss long enough to tease, “What? Not enough?”

Never enough, you think. You’ll always want more of him.

“Feels nice,” you tell him, in a whisper.

You kiss him again as your hands fumble with his belt buckle. His jeans drop to the floor and he steps out of them, his eyes closing on an audible sigh when you palm him over the black briefs he’s wearing. He’s hot under your hand, a small patch already damp beneath your palm.

“Get rid of those,” he instructs as he steps away from you, pulling at his own socks. He nods at your lower half as clarification and you pull off your leggings, leaving only the matching bottoms to your bra. You hook your thumbs under the edge of the lace, but he reaches out to stop you.

“Leave that,” he says, his eyes shining and devilish. 

He lays you back across the couch and settles between your thighs, all mischief and anticipation, and then he licks a warm stripe up the center of the lace. You reach over your head and clutch at the arm of the couch, trying desperately to keep it together as he hooks a thumb under the lace and pulls them gently to the side, exposing you to the cool air of the room and his own hungry gaze. You moan loud, eyes squeezing shut, as he dives back in.

He slides two fingers into your heat and your back arches as his name slips between your lips. He returns his tongue to you as his fingers open you bit by bit, whimpers and gasps replacing the silence in the room. He grunts when you lose control and buck once, then uses his free hand to splay his fingers across your lower belly to hold you still.

The snap happens before you expect it, almost without warning. The heat blossoms from your stomach down to your toes, and you chant his name as the waves roll through you, demanding your attention. 

“Shit,” he growls, fingers still moving, his mouth an inch away from your pulsing center. “Fuck, I feel you, baby.”

When you finally unclench, the room spinning around you as you gasp for breath, he slips his fingers from you and crawls up your body, his mouth seeking yours. You barely register that you can taste yourself on him; all you can process is the need to cling to him as you come back to earth, the need to know he’s surrounding you, solidly between you and the rest of reality.

“Please,” you hear yourself say, though you didn’t make the decision to beg. He obliges, doesn’t tease you for it, just lines himself up and slides into you in one slow, unfaltering motion. 

Your hips tilt on their own, taking him just slightly deeper; you gasp against his mouth, fingers scrabbling at his shoulders, trying to hold on, trying to hold him still, trying to climb inside him. 

He presses his forehead to yours, both of you panting, his arms caging you in as he fucks in and out of you slowly, letting you adjust to the stretch. It’s a lot, but it’s so good, and it isn’t long before you’re moving with him, meeting each thrust, your legs tangled behind his waist to pull him in closer.

You let go of his shoulders and cup his face with both hands, pulling his mouth back to yours tenderly. 

You think you might be halfway in love with him. That’s been your whole problem all along.

“Touch yourself for me,” he murmurs, lips on your jaw.

You pull back and slip two fingers into your mouth, eyes on his as you wet them. You smirk when his face twists, his stroke faltering for just a second, and then bring your fingers between your legs.

“How are you real?” he groans, his pace quickening. You feel yourself shake slightly each time he pushes back into you. 

When he stops, pressed so deep inside you that it steals your breath, you look up at him inquisitively. Sweat beads on his forehead, and he reaches up to push his hair back from his face.

He doesn’t answer your unvoiced question, just slides out of you and stands, reaching for your hands to pull you up after him. He kisses you messily, hungrily, pulling you tight against his body. His cock is trapped between your bodies, hot and slippery against your lower stomach. He ignores this, holding you desperately, holding you like he’s afraid you’ll get ripped away. A detached part of your brain wonders what fear is behind the tightness of his grip.

Then he’s moving with renewed energy, turning you by your shoulders and pressing between them, leaning you over the arm of the couch, one hand sliding down your spine and resting on the small of your back. You cry out wordlessly when he slides into you again, the new position bringing him deeper than before, stars sparking before your eyes. 

He grips your hips tightly, using the leverage to pound into you with a force he hadn’t earlier, or back in July. All you can do is take it, eyes screwed shut, wailing wordlessly and trying to press your face into your arms to muffle the noise. 

“Too much?” he manages to ask you, the words slipped between breaths, his voice tight with effort.

You can’t form an answer, can’t make your mouth shape no, it’s perfect, so you shake your head wildly. You think you might die if he stops.

Seungcheol slows anyway, soothing a hand down your back again, giving you a chance to relax your muscles and take a deep breath. He sets a steady pace, far less brutal than a moment ago, and you reach back to run a hand up the back of his thigh, just wanting to touch him. He reaches down with one hand and tangles his fingers with yours, giving a single reassuring squeeze before dropping them again.

Your thighs are shaking constantly now, and your voice comes out thin when you try to warn him you’re close.

“Yeah?” he croons, and then you feel the gentle pressure of his thumb ghost over your rim before circling it more firmly. 

You lose it entirely; you think you scream. Everything goes white and then staticky. You’re dimly aware of Seungcheol growling your name, pulling out, splattering your ass with strings of hot cum.

You cooperate when he maneuvers you back onto the couch, laying on his back and pulling you onto his front, your hearts both beating wildly against one another, like they’re both trying to break through your ribs and reach the other. 

“Shit,” you whisper, when you feel like you’re in your body again. He chuckles warmly beneath you, reaching up to run a hand down your arm affectionately. 

“You good?” he asks, voice gravelly. 

“Mhm,” you manage, though you’re already starting to feel soreness everywhere - in your hips, between your legs, even in your lower belly. “You wanna shower?”

“Definitely,” he says, and helps you up, follows you into the bathroom. Soaps you up gently, kisses your head while you rinse. It’s frighteningly tender, and you find yourself struggling to look directly at him.

Something inside you feels like you should run.

When you’re dry, he asks you tentatively, “Should I go home?”

Probably, you think. Before I get in even deeper. 

But you’re already in so deep. You haven’t slept next to him in months. You crave it just as much as what you’ve just done. So you tell him, “I don’t mind if you stay. If you want to.”

In the dark, you lie facing each other, your head resting on his mountain of a bicep. 

“Tell me what you’re thinking,” he whispers.

That I’m not going to be enough to make you stay, you think.

“That I’m going to need to soak in a hot bath tomorrow,” you lie.

You wake up between his arms, your room bright with early morning sun. You let yourself revel in it for only a moment, and then you slip out of the bed as quietly as you can. Silently, you start dressing. 

You’re hunting for your shoes when he wakes, squinting at you adorably, a pout on his face.

“Come back,” he whines, and you almost cave. You don’t answer, and this seems to be what alerts him that something is wrong. He’s fully awake, quickly, his eyes sharp on you as he throws off your blanket and stands.

You step back as he comes closer, and you hate that you recognize a flash of hurt crossing his face.

“I need to go,” you say quietly, and you can hear the cornered-animal fear in your voice, hate that it’s evident.

“Why?” he asks, his voice just as raw as it had been the night he’d cried over her, less than a month ago.

You shake your head, the words in your head scrambled and unfocused. 

“Talk to me,” he begs, trying to step closer again. You let him, this time. “What happened?”

“Nothing happened,” you manage, but your voice is choked, and the second you hear it the dam inside you cracks. You blink away tears and step back from him again as he tries to reach for you. “I just can’t do this. I can’t let you in and then watch you leave for her again.”

His brows scrunch with confusion. “Leave for - who? Jieun? That’s not -”

“You just ended things with her,” you point out, interrupting. “You were away with her on a romantic little trip last fucking weekend. You’re not over her, and every time you think you are you just go running right back and I can’t be the collateral damage even one more time, Seungcheol - please, I think it’ll kill me to lose you to her again.”

“I went away with her last weekend to tell her goodbye,” he says, voice hushed, like he doesn’t want to spook you. “She and I talked for a long time about… us. We agreed - we put that part of our lives away for good.”

You shake your head again, letting this speak for you, because you feel like it would be cruel to say I don’t believe you… even if it’s true.

He steps closer again, finally within reach. He places one hand on your arm, gingerly, like he wants to root you to the spot but knows to tread lightly. “It’s not you or her,” he tells you earnestly. “It never was.”

A scoff escapes you without permission.

“Please listen to me,” he says again. It occurs to you that he could be angry, could be flying to the defensive, could be turning this into a fight. Instead, he’s being gentle - hearing what you’re telling him and talking about it. A tiny part of you is proud, knows this takes effort on his part, knows he’s had to unlearn how he once would have reacted.

“I’m listening,” you whisper. It’s all you can give him right now.

“She and I haven’t really loved each other in… a long time. That’s one of the things we talked about last weekend. We were both just… trying to keep a dead thing alive, because that hurt less than admitting it wasn’t going to wake up. I’m not going to suddenly realize I miss her, or that being with her was better. There’s a zero percent chance of that - less than zero.”

“Less than zero percent can’t exist,” you croak, just to be contrary.

“Well it does in this case,” he shoots back, lips starting to pout a little. “I’m not saying you and I will be magically perfect, but I can promise that if we don’t work for some reason, she will not be the cause.”

You want to believe him - you ache to believe him. 

You wipe under your eyes, trying to get yourself put together. Seungcheol watches your face carefully.

Then he says, very quietly, “We work. You know we do.”

“We worked when it was pretend,” you rebut. 

He says your name, a demand hidden in it - a demand to listen, to hear him. 

“You’re what I need,” he says firmly. “I need someone who won’t rise to the bait if I slip and fuck up and say something stupid. I need someone who wants me to be happy, not just someone who wants me to make them happy. And I want so many things for you - I want to make life easier for you, I want you to feel loved and valued, I want to do all of that for you. I want to do shit for you that I never did before, like double text and call first and apologize even when I don’t think I’m wrong.”

He’s teasing a little by the end, and you laugh through your tears despite yourself. 

“Seungcheol, I don’t know,” you tell him. “How can you be sure?”

He takes your hands, grips your fingers tight. “I want to do this right with you,” he says plainly. “I want you, and I want to really try. The way I feel about you… it makes me want to believe in happily ever after and all that other shit. Being with you makes me feel like maybe it’s not totally impossible.”

As gently as you can, you pull your hands away. “I don’t know,” you repeat hollowly. “I… I need some time to think about it.”

You step away and he lets you, his hands falling uselessly to his sides. 

“It’s not no,” you tell him, the only comfort you can offer him, nothing more. “I just… please, I need to think.”

You leave him in your apartment, don’t even wait to let him out. With shaking hands, you unlock your car and get in, scarcely breathing until the apartment building has disappeared from view.

Then, you drive to your sister’s house.

–

Her husband answers the door, the first time you’ve seen him since the wedding. He looks surprised - understandable, because you’ve never been there before, never ever just showed up, and also it’s probably very clear that you’ve been crying.

He greets you by name, but the shock in his voice makes you feel so guilty that you whisper, “I can come back another time, I can give her a call first -”

“No,” he cuts you off. There’s something you can’t name in his tone. “I’m - I think she’ll be really glad you came. Please come in.”

It isn’t a formal please, come in, that you’d give to someone as a pleasantry. He means, please, come inside and talk to your sister, please, come in so she can see that you came here for her. 

You hear it loud and clear. You wonder if Nayoung has felt as rejected by you as you’ve felt by her, over the years. 

Nayoung rises when she sees you enter the room, her face flashing from surprised to concerned.

“What happened?” she asks, as she rounds the corner of her couch, already coming to hug you.

And you let her. You open your arms and step into her embrace, because despite the way you’d grown up, she’s here now and she’s trying and you think you might like having her in your life.

“I slept with Seungcheol last night,” you tell her miserably.

Behind you, Jeongwoo says uncomfortably, “Um, I’m going to run to the store. I’ll get ice cream.”

Nayoung lifts her head to make eye contact with him over your shoulder and he adds, “And wine.”

On your sister’s couch, you tell her everything - almost everything. The way Seungcheol had disappeared, how you’d assumed he was choosing Jieun for good. How he’d shown up, had asked you to try, had laid his heart out for you.

How you’d run.

It makes you cry all over again. 

“I don’t know what to do,” you admit through your tears. “I know what I want to do. But there’s so many what if’s…”

“There always are,” she says seriously. “There are no guarantees with love. The question is, do you believe that he’ll really try - that he means what he’s telling you? Or do you think it’s just lines to get you to say yes?”

“Of course I believe he means it,” you say, almost surprised. But Nayoung doesn’t know Seungcheol like you do, doesn’t know how genuine his heart is. “I’m just scared he’ll… change his mind later, or something.”

“No one can promise you forever,” she points out, a little sadly.

“How can you say that?” you ask her. “You’re married. You took a vow in front of the whole family to love each other forever.”

“Sure,” she agrees. “But what I mean is that when you’re with someone… every day is a choice. You’re choosing them over the rest of the world every day that you wake up. The vow Jeongwoo and I took was to keep choosing each other, even if there are days that it’s hard.”

You drop your gaze and run your hands over the cushion of her couch absently. 

“If you’re asking me what I think you should do,” she says, “then I think you should let him try. I’m not telling you to marry him tomorrow. What could it hurt to try dating?”

“My heart,” you answer pitifully.

She reaches for your knee and gives you a playful shake. “But would that really be worse than walking away and wondering if you missed out on something real? Wouldn’t it drive you crazy not to know?”

You think about this question for the rest of the night, even after you’ve gone home again. 

When you let yourself into the apartment, you hold your breath. You know it’s ridiculous, but part of you wonders if Seungcheol will be waiting for you, waiting to make you talk about it.

The door swings open. The apartment is dark, and silent.

You think about calling him, or at least texting him - but what would you say? You’re still not sure what you want. 

Soonyoung texts you the next night - come over for pizza and movie??? pls pls??

You text back, idk. who’s coming over?

He understands the real question, sends back, he’s already here. please come anyway, noona :( chan misses you.

You sit on the edge of your bed, your phone in your hands, and hang your head, wracked with indecision.

You do know what you want. You’d said as much to Nayoung yesterday. But just because you want something doesn’t mean it’s good for you.

Your sheets still smell like Seungcheol. You want to bury yourself in them, breathe him in. You think just his smell is enough to make your head clear, your pulse calm, your pain ease.

It is this that tips you into making a choice. 

This was never about deciding if you want him. It’s been about deciding if you can trust him to take care of you.

With a sigh, you swipe back to the conversation and tell him, i’ll head over in a bit. 

The scene at Soonyoung and Chan’s is as familiar as your own home. The television screen flashes with whatever game Wonwoo and Vernon are playing, the blue LED lights lining the ceiling’s edges. Your brother’s and Chan’s voices float from the kitchen, bickering. And Seungcheol sits in his usual chair, his dark eyes on you, still and serious.

You freeze in the doorway, caught in his heavy, unwavering gaze. 

The moment stretches. He’s asking you a question without speaking, without moving, and you know that whatever you do next is an answer - definitively yes, or definitively no. 

It’s like the whole world stills around you, waiting to see… what will it be? If you shake your head or turn away, you know it means losing your chance with Seungcheol forever. He gave you grace and time to process but if you turn him down now, he won’t be crawling back.

And maybe that’s the safe option - maybe that’s the option that keeps your heart nice and swaddled, alone on your island.

But you’re trying not to be like that anymore. You’re trying to let people in. You’re trying to give others a chance.

He deserves a chance - and so do you.

You take a bracing breath and cross the room. As soon as he can tell you’re heading for him, a smile lights up his face, and his hands are ready for you, reaching to help you balance as you climb up and side sideways across his lap, your arms looping around his neck.

You hear one of the controllers hit the floor - either Wonwoo or Vernon has dropped it in shock - and then the whole room explodes into protest as you lean in and press your mouth to Seungcheol’s, as his arms wind around your back and pull you in closer.

You hear your brother shout, “Not in my living room!” and Chan’s horrified, “That is my sister!”

You tune them all out; you don’t even care. You want him to know you mean it, that you aren’t scared, that you’re in this as much as he is - for as long as he is.

He’s smiling against your lips and it’s infectious - you’re fighting your smile too, so filled with happiness and hope that you can barely hold it in. 

You break away, beaming at each other.

“All right, all right,” Seungcheol says, flapping a hand at your brother, unphased. “Calm your ass down, we’re done.”

“We’re not done,” you murmur to him, and he laughs, loud. The sound lights you up.

“Okay, we’re not done, but we’ll leave,” he concedes. You stand unsteadily, still laughing, and he leads you by the hand towards the door. You wave an unapologetic and cheerful goodbye over your shoulder and let him pull you into the hallway. 

His hand fits yours, secure and sure, large and warm, as he pulls into a future where you don’t have to be alone to be happy. His hand squeezes yours to punctuate his smile, dimples popping, promising you a wild kind of love - with time. With him.

You think you might want your hand in his forever.

<- Prev

ahhhhhhhhhhhh it's overrrrr!!!! :(

thank you so much for joining me for this series and i hope i'll see you at my next!!

[thatdeadaquarius]

Topic: Genshin impact.

au: Sagau.

idea: So what if you had the powers of every character you played as in every game you played and then get isekaid into genshin impact with imposter au. I imagine it goes smth like

Zhongli: “I will have order!”

reader, Who played Roblox as someone who lagged the game (explanation: I’m pretty sure ping is also how time works in games. If you can control the flow of ping you can control the flow of time in games.): “ZA WARUDO!”

Heyyy!! Thanks for waiting for the reply/response from my slow ass :0

So they did clarify what they meant/expand so imma just copy paste that here!

“k now I remember. So basically imma write it here since it’s easier: Basically you don’t have to (but you can) transform into the character that has those set of powers but if you do those powers are enhanced.”

Sun: Reader (”you”/they/them)

Orbit: Headcanons-ish, Light Imposter AU (as in, NOT Yandere/Dark), mild crossover elements bc Shapeshifter Shenanigans™️

Stars: bro idek

Comets & Meteors: Content Warnings: mild cussing, genshin typical mild violence, & Trigger Warnings: none known.

Please comment if I missed any. /gen

☆

so fair warning,, ive never seen jojo bizarre, but i appreciate i come off well-read/watched? LMAO

so im just gonna kinda,, guess? like just cycle thru diff. random media, and im hoping both me and you reading this will have a fun time (as this is a little challenge, but i like it so ill give it a shot, dont kno if its a good one but- 😅)

so to set the scene, of how u got to this point, ykno of running like ur life (maybe?) depends on u running around different teyvat countries,

u thought it was weird everyone knew a little too much about you?? (ofc theyve heard u during gaming, they know u the same way we all know Markiplier, get it?)

then a bunch of NPCs/Vision users/Archons?? were REALLY invested in talking to you, which freaked u out even more

and by the time you saw Zhongli, yknow, just the oldest god in game, making a fast-walk towards you, ykno the retired god who didnt move an inch when an old water god attacked Liyue for a test, is now hurrying to you???

ur logically get so fucking scared sm shits abt to go down, u just start running

it isnt until ur reaching for a ledge and some webbing shoots out of ur arm (from a glitchy little spot on ur arm, where it could be coming out of ur skin, but sometimes its a blue and red bracelet)

it latched onto the nearest building, and thats how u find out u can grapple ur way, literally Spiderman style, out of the harbor

and bro, idk if it would be fun, or confusing and stressful, or maybe both?? to just find out u can use any video game power from any game youve played before as you go running from countries bc for some freaky reason they know too much abt you/are pursuing you-

dUDE- they had small statues of you in like every little section of their cities

u head to Mondstadt and as Venti comes screaming and flying at you (in excitement, but ur freaked), u go to hold a hand up and suddenly ur holding a heavy stone tablet that unleashes some holographic yellow chains that freeze him in place-?? why is this familiar-

oh my god u have the sheikah slate from Breath of the Wild,

and as ur booking it out of there, u manage to get ahold of a sword, and u know exactly how to use it to knock back favonius knights trying to stop you (they are concerned for their god who is just unleashing random powers on ppl, pls let Grandmaster Jean just talk to you Your Majesty-!!)

by the time you teleport ur way to Inazuma, (bc u still have this worlds access to ur player/traveler’s powers), ur trying to find a nice place to stay for a little bit

at least in that sweet spot of the Raiden not noticing/finding you, while things cool down on the main continent, before moving on,

and u get some tools to help fashion just a little shelter, bc u dont have any money/mora rn, and ur able to literally build a house???

a mailbox pops up and thanks you for renting with Tom Nook???? As in Animal Crossing-

and rlly if the BOTW/slate thing didnt clue u into video game powers, then this definitely would tbh lmao

right as u see Yae Miko circling ur house, with an armful of books? ..is she planning to thru them at you??, u get the hell out of dodge before her favorite god can follow along

(she knows ur prefrences in books and got authors/trends to start so youd have plenty to read, and she was making sure it was ur house before politely dropping them off! how was she to know thatd spook their favorite God, Ei?!)

u get to Sumeru and think ur safe, hiding in an abandoned forest watcher outpost (1 person treehouse rlly) when Nahida shows up in ur dreams,

and u just,

walk out of the dream, into reality, and possess a nearby ruin guard so u can sleep in peace, bc she cant access a robot,

that one baffled u as you re-possessed ur own body before realizing-

Five Nights at Freddy’s. 💀

U cant do that forever, so u try Fontaine, hoping Neuvillette/Furina wont rlly give af abt you, plus theyre the latest region, so maybe they have the least exposure to whatever the other archons didnt like abt you??

u get there and are immediately summoned to court, and right as the mekas show up to escort you, jfc they have a mecha army

(meanwhile, theyre thinking, yknow. high profile guest/our god of gods. ofc we need state of the art mekas to escort them, its only polite-)

meanwhile ur cape has now become wings, and a mask covers ur face as you glide and fly ur way over the city in an attempt to get to where u assume Snezhnaya is

it doesnt occur to you the game until ur running out of stamnia and catch ur reflection in the waters of fontaine, Sky: Children of the Light

u hope the Tsaritsa’s dislike for other gods/Celestia doesnt extend to ur otherworldly presence so ur just hoping for the best atp tbh

tbh youd forget what all powers you have, and the absolute chaos ur causing urself as u try to desperately rememeber what games youve played thru ur entire life is NOT helping to reduce confusion when u randomly wake up with elf ears (legend of zelda/botw) or get dragged into another ruin machine when u fall asleep/faint/do smth u guess mimics death lmao- (fnaf) 💀

…

(meanwhile the Tsaritsa does get wind ur coming this way, and just, makes the people have a parade/festival to celebrate you coming,

she did also have to get Pierro/Captaino to physically restrain some of them from going ahead to meet/escort you to the palace, she’d heard how the others scared u off, and was, ironically, hoping the warm welcome would clear things up)

☆

well that was, something. 😃🫠

sorry lil car, that was such a fun idea idk if i did it justice!! i thought itd be too op to include every media youve consumed ever, so i kept it to video games, (which, could u cheat the system if youve played smash bros??)

i hope it was at least a decent read, and sorry im half asleep so i was not v funny this time around, but, again, hope u got smth out of it 😭

</3

on another note, im having my wisdom teeth surgery this friday, send whatever u got my way, prayers, blessings, good vibes, ill take anything im nervous 🙃

have a good week guys!

Safe Travels Lil Car,

💀♒

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♡the beloveds♡

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[sillyandquiteawkward]

sillys (not so) lil info dump about how to be a human being. smiles

htbahb is an album from glass animals, of which notably, all the songs align with different people's lives, perspectives, and feelings, also of which are shown on the (various) album covers. so the easiest way to go thru the story is song by song. but i will show you the album art so you can get a gist of things before we go into details.

these are just some of the various album covers for htbahb, theres a bunch of them, but we dont need to see all of them to see the different lives of our characters.

1, Life Itself

this is our main character for life itself. you can call him a bit of a nerd if youd like. apparently his name is chuck rogers. they dont all have names.

hes an inventor, loves ray guns and strange technology, but as noted in his song, feels like he was raised with expectations hell never be able to achieve. his father as a child said he would be a superstar, but nowadays, he cant get a job and he lives with his mom. hes struggling with finding himself and his place in society and hes doing drugs and feeling like hes absolute rock bottom with everyone being against him. he feels alone and attacked and retreats back into his car or grandmothers basement and keeps folding back into himself.

in the music video for life itself, hes only seen in a few scenes, leading the charge against [popular st] with a smoke bomb as [mamas gun] watches knowingly from the sidelines as perhaps the real leader behind the assault. they seems to be accomplices with each other, as they ride in the car together and seem to be specifically looking for [youth].

2. Youth

now the main character for youth is tricky, it seems like we have two characters for youth, the small child, and assumedly, his mother the waitress. i think i like the interpretation that the mother is the main character for this song, and the child represents the album as a whole. alternatively i also like the idea that the child is youth, and his mother represents [premade sandwiches]. but for the most part, they are just both the characters for youth.

youth is a mother talking about her child, and to her child, almost in a detached sort of way as if they arent able to see each other. a mother speaking her hopes and dreams to her child. somehow these two have been separated when the child was young, perhaps through giving up to adoption, or hinted in the music video, abduction. she wishes best for the child, urges them to feel their mother at their side, and notes that theyve got her eyes. she lists off her wishes for them to be happy and have friends, and be silly. this perhaps is for the best, that they can be happy even without her. i particularly like in this song, the wordplay makes it sound like the singer is counting one, two, three, four, five, when they are singing other words like boy, to, free, funny, and fly respectively.

in the music video for youth, the child is seen almost haunting the mother as she works as a waiter, appearing in several locations playing and running around as she remains dutiful to her job. they briefly sit looking at each other in the same hotel room he had been taken to in life itself's music video.

3. Season 2 Episode 3

this is the main character for season 2 ep 3 and i think one of the cool changes between album covers, as we see a fully done up girl all put together with her make up on, and in the other, someone a bit more silly with her makeup removed. this might be the way she sees herself vs how other people see her.

the song is the lament of a boyfriend to his girlfriend, who seems to be glued to the couch, watching shows, getting high, not changing her clothes, and eating day old leftover food and most notably, mayonnaise straight from the jar. at the beginning of the song, the two of them are high together, however he soon sobers and realizes she refuses to get sober along with him. he tries to convince her that their relationship wont work if she keeps being like this and doesnt try, but she wants him back the way he was (high as well) and views him as a nag. she still makes him happy, but sometimes she makes him sad to see how she lives. even after an acceptance from the boyfriend that she wont change and will never be vertical and golden like he wants and that the relationship will never work out, the song ends hinting that hes picked up getting high with her again due to her calling him a killjoy and wearing him down.

in the music video we watch the girl splay out on the sofa, surrounded by her mess watching tv and doing nothing. halfway into the video, we are brought into the game she plays, as she battles [life itself] [cane shuga] and [the other side of paradise], all of which are men who could possibly be the boyfriend figure.

4. Pork Soda

this is our main character for everyones favorite pork soda. hes an older man, who for the most part seems pretty happy. wonder if hes harboring some long lost feelings or something.

the song opens with a street performance unintelligible to a normal listener, its like passing by a conversation, you are only able to hear bits and pieces of the spoken words. once the song starts you hear a story about this guy's girl who used to be fun and adventurous and would take him along with her. in the same breathe hes begging to go back to the days they were happy together. it seems like they fell out of love, or are in a struggling relationship bereft of communication or the passion it once had. shes only happy when theyre having sex together, and just looking at each other causes him heartache. the song talks about pineapples in my head, and being brain dead, as well as other references to diminishing mental facilities, that perhaps in their age, theyd forgotten about each other.

the music video gives us probably the most clear story line, as we see the wife prepare a meal before sending it through a dumbwaiter into the basement for the husband. there he sits alone, watching tv. up above the wife plays with their dog, imagining the dog is the younger version of her husband. all of her time is dedicated to the dog, and all of his time is dedicated to the tv. they have forgotten they love each other and live in the same house, but live in separate worlds. only after the dog destroys his tv and the husband destroys the floor above him and under her feet, do they finally get back together as he catches her as she falls, surprised and exhilarated for the first time in forever. and things seem to be better as they finally occupy the same room together again.

5. Mama's Gun

This is the main character for mamas gun. shes a victim of the perception of her mental illness. i think this is my fav song of the album.

during the song, the woman initially admits that she took her gun and made her husband go to neverland. however she also says she loved him a lot and he was perfect. through bits and pieces of the lyrics you can come to the conclusion that she has some sort of psychosis, or perhaps schizophrenia in particular as she notes many different voices and figures talking to her. the song references dr swango, a doctor who killed his patients, however he insists to her that him and all the other voices in her head are too from neverland, and that she was a murderer just like him. is she really guilty of murder? what really happened? the flute played during various instrumental parts of the song is a sample from the carpenter's mr. guder, a song about a man who does what hes supposed to in society and his job and gets nothing from it. karen carpenter herself was a victim of her own mental illness and they say that theres a specific purpose for the sample chosen. once the lyrics pick back up, the voices again pipe up and tell her she was a murderer, even the voice who had never spoken says so, so he must be telling the truth right? during the final bit of the song, it seems like her husbands voice joins into her collection of voices, as he bears a cheshire smile and asks her to lay with him once again, and that hes waiting for her. in the end, its unclear what happened with her and her husband, as she goes back and forth saying she was violent, she was doing nothing. this song was inspired by a story they heard of a woman going into a drug induced black out for a month and reappearing in another state with no memory, and the lingering fear that shes done something terrible wrong, and never being able to have the closure of knowing what happened.

theres no music video for this song, but we see her appear in life itself. she and [life itself] drive to the hotel where [poplar st] is holding [youth] captive and attempt to break into the room hes in.

6. Cane Shuga

this is our main character for cane shuga. hes exactly how he seems, a rich white guy who is, of course, using that cane shuga all day everyday.

cane shuga presents a dialogue from two parties, two people in a relationship. the singer promises he wont do coke anymore, that he wont be a john doe in the hospital. the chorus however is the high he rides on, where he thinks hes hot shit, hes 007 james bond, hes as powerful as kim jong, with a popped collar as he looks into the glare of the mirror and hypes himself up after using in the bathroom at work. hes untouchable. the second chorus is his partner, giving up on him, their love has burned up, just like his drugs. theres a humorous line of putting their foot down saying ive had quite enough, but corrects themself and sarcastically says or lack there of, that they arent being given anything anymore by him. regardless, their verses and conversation is short. the chorus of his high is the main focus of the song, and repeat over and over as the days continue.

[cane shuga] appears in season 2 ep 3's music video as [season 2 episode 3]'s potential lover. their stories do seem to entangle, they both are drug users dealing with partners who want to stop using. some people say that he is her partner, that he stops using for her, but falls back into the habit. however this doesnt exactly line up with her song, as she doesnt want him to stop. i think its part of that unreliable narrator theme weve seen in previous songs. people have different experiences with each other and get different messages due to the issue of communication. im not exactly on board with these two being together, but i do understand where people are coming from with this take.

7. [Premade Sandwiches]

this is a spoken word interlude, sped up and pitched down. there doesnt seem to be a character paired with this song, and on cd this song is simply a bonus track hidden behind cane shuga. on first listening its very difficult to catch what is being said, but over and over the speaker is talking about standing in line for various things. this song discusses mindless over consumption of drugs, of buzz words, of natural foods for your dog, watches, new clothes made to look old, the junk drawer filled with phones you dont use, with pens that dont work, with random shit you never needed just piling up. people stand in line and they dont even know why.

8. The Other Side Of Paradise

this is our main character for the other side. hes gonna be a basketball player and make it big babyeee.

so its a bit unclear and vague in the lyrics, but it seems our narrator and the basketball player used to be close friends. he even seems to be in love with the basketball player, calling him my love. but the basketball player leaves their home in new orleans to go chase his dreams out west and make it big, leaving our narrator's side. he told the narrator not to worry but after phone calls, it seems like basketball boy got a girlfriend. hes gloating to the narrator, hes got a girlfriend now, hes got a gold camaro, hes made it big, meanwhile our narrator is at the payphone hearing all this and his world turns in slow motion. no longer is the basketball player his baby blue anymore. hes moved on, hell never have another chance to love his friend. hes so angry and hurt, but he balls up his fist almost in a fight or flight reaction, and settles for the ghost of his love. hed always hoped for a paradise where they could be together but it seems like fate had other plans. he laments the basketball player for ditching them, saying here in new orleans people dont leave and ditch their lady (him). he wants to be loved and pampered by him, not her. heres where the vagueness comes back, the narrator seems to be so distraught that he rather kills himself, or finds that his body looks wrong, perhaps that hes not a girl that couldve been loved by the basketball player.

he only ever appears in the music video for season 2 ep 3 as one of the bosses [season 2 episode 3] defeats, claiming ball is life. there is a music video that was recently released for this song, however it does not depict the basketball player.

9. Take a Slice

this is our main character for take a slice, hes a bit of a slut but he makes it work :) the spoken intro to this song is the real recording the band took while talking to a male fortune teller, so the sausage candle is rather real or a lie from the fortune teller.

take a slice regales the story of a young man who finds pleasures in the sultry sexual aspects of life. hes sucking on cigarettes in a way freud would roll in his grave, hes painted his nails dark, has piercings, hes asking for another slice of cherry pie, cherries being a symbol for all things sex and lust. hes smitten with the idea of being a prize to be sought after, and after trying sex work for the first time, realizes this is the job for him. hes going to fuck his way through college, and sleep during class dreaming of you. wink. hes rolling in the dough, hes got a gold car, hes maybe dabbling in drugs too, and hes filthy and he loves it.

10. Poplar St

ms moore is the main character of poplar st, and shes a cougar, and not the good kind.

a young boy lives a typical suburban life. hes got bandaids on his knees and hes climbing trees. but one day, he sees mrs moore and mr keats have sex. immediately this drags him out of his childhood, hes such a man now that he knows what sex is. this is the first step of her grasp around him. as he gets a bit older, his mother calls her prosti-tits and looks down upon her. but the boy looks up to ms moore, despite his mothers words. mrs moore sees his desperation and pulls him into her clutches. theres a very specific voice crack when her teeth sink in deep and the note hes singing falls flat. this bit of pain expressed is highly contrasted with the chorus coming back in, the boy once again considers himself a real man, a true romantic, this is what all men dream of, isnt it? but there are dead flowers in the sand, hinting that these roses arent just romantic. the next bridge plays and interesting word switch up. it starts out with her begging him for more as she sits in her underwear, and then switches to him begging her for more in his underwear. theyve both wasted their days, but when it comes to his youth and her age, the only one wasting their childhood is him. the song concludes with mrs moore calling him up collect (so he has to pay for the phone call, not her) one day and breaking up with him. and then it all gets pulled out from under him and hes just a boy again. this tells the sad tale of how men and boys' sexual assault and grooming often is pushed to the side because they think this is how things are supposed to go, that they are supposed to have sex and to be used and abused from a woman is supposed to be an achievement. but really all it is, is abuse that leaves him feeling terrible.

11. Agnes

this is agnes :) i think it was mentioned at some point that he takes pictures of people when they arent looking, so to me, i like to think hes the one capturing everyone pictured in this album. bear witness to other humans.

the song starts out where the singer is appearing to try and comfort agnes. how did it get this bad, agnes used to just take pills and smoke a little, somethings changed perhaps. the singer notes agnes is just going through the motions every day, numb, and nervous, but hes swelling with emotion all the same. here the singer laments he wants to hold agnes like hes mine. theres a longing sadness in the lyrics. the next verse confirms the worst, while agnes was perhaps a genius when it came to the romantic, he was a deeply depressed and lonely person. he started to rely on the drugs and the alcohol he used to use recreationally, just to live a normal life. and he ultimately commited suicide. the singer wonders where the agnes he used to know went. however the singer reconsiders, and accepts that agnes did his best, life must feel so unbearably long when its soaked in sadness, living a false life filled with depression. so it goes, the singer thinks, but cant help but to feel lost. the only thing he can think of is agnes, perhaps considering all the art agnes made, all the photos he took of other people, perhaps just thinking about his friend in any aspect. grief is funny like that. on the vinyl record, this song's last seconds repeat over and over until you stop the machine from playing, like a lingering memory you cant stop thinking about.

the agnes music video is much different than the others, as it focuses on the singer, dave bayley as he sits in a centrifuge and attempts to sing the song. this causes a very physical reaction and he struggles to even lift his hand, by the end of it hes sweating profusely and unable to catch his breath, but he persists and continues singing. he mentions this was a mere fraction of what someone going through depression could feel like. during the music video as well, he appears to be looking across from a mannequin, perhaps the stand in for himself once hes put himself in agnes' shoes.

thanks for reading if you did i love being insane. all of these are my personal thoughts on the album, and might not exactly match up with your interpretation, but i have tried to keep to what we believe is what glass animals had in mind for the album and these characters.

[tiredsmashbros]

early birthday gift for the annoying ass stupid ass ring light person qwah pUH

warning ; slightly suggestive 💥

@hexsie @knightedmares @neo91502 @its-a-me-mango

so i had a plan to animate this ish for this stupid silly as a joke due to we share the interest of this green penguin youtuber, isaacwhy, in the summer. to then find out in my storyboarding class my new assignment was just animating/storyboarding a short sound clip... so what better opportunity to do it than now and it time for this silly ass 18th birthday :3c

i realized i forgot a few things, made some mini mistakes at the end but thats okay we ball

okay now for a bday message get out if ur not the ring light bitch /hj

from the moment i first met you... i wanted you to DIE TO GET OUT OF MY LIFE TO OBLITERATE INTO PIECES TO LOSE EVERY ROUND OF PRESSURE TO GO TO BED WITH WARM PILLOWS AND STUMB YOUR PINKY YOU GET A DEAD SCREEN TO POP UP AS YOU FALL INTO THE GROUND DECAYING AWAY AND - cOUGH ough sorry about that ahem the demons came out anywho- DIE- ahem...

nova i know i've given you my heartfelt personal message during my birthday time, so i wanted to give one too- even if most of it you may already know or i already said iuhkjfewds

the past... half a yEAR??? good gracious too long /JOKE has been a very silly and stressing ride gOD /lh. you've definitely changed my life and even influenced me as a person for the better. your silly high-pitch tone, the playful bullying, and even the obsession of your hex3 has just been enjoyable to experience and even participate the past few months. even just recently you getting me into your markipler in space fixation was definitely something i wasn't expecting and im still thINKING ABOUT IT HELLO???? IM TRYING TO BRAINSTORM A DAY TO WATCH IT AND AT THIS POINT WE MIGHT AS WELL DO IT ON THE PARTY OR MONDAY NEXT WEEK AT NIGHT YUIHKJFEDWSUGJH.

even with the characters in my brain i've told you about earlier of this year, hexsy is still checkin in as con {ander's oc} still does and she's been so nicey the following months even if not often i see her, but just like u irl reminds me of ur STUPID HETERO FIC ISTFG- it was genuinely so good holy shit. me and my plane trips istfg its always either me watching the new smg4 episode or reading a fanfic last time it was brain's, an this time is you and josie's IOHKJBFEDSH i love all the silly words in silly plot lines with silly characters so exciting and creative gUH. anyways... u'll get ur silly paragraphs today too teehee :3

but seriously you do bring a lot of good joy and happiness with the people around you, even if your sillyness can be a teeny bit scawey to endure, its also intoxicating and a disease it's personally affected how i even act but in the most positive way possible its raised my silly bar, but also genuinely made me so much more confident?? you've helped me learn to be myself and to be afraid to be silly, EVEN if the chance of embarrassment comes by, its not a terrifying if i have done it when i was my shy anxiety angsty teen ihugjrhefds. i adore and appreciate your company even in moments you scare me and bully me into not reading or looking at your stuff LEAVE ME ALONE YOU FREAK!!!! IMPATIENT!!!! /J /SILLY /LH i still hope your doing good at your school and preparing for your college adventures. i'll still be here to support and help you throughout so dont u dare think u're going thru this alone i gotchu- unless i die or smth but we boutta find out /j uigHJFDS

totally normal and not suspicious at all give me rizz tips pls knight is gatekeeping me all he ever talks about is spongebob did u form into a yellow sponge or smth is that the trick OHHH YEAHH GET IT BC TRICK IS HIS OC NAME AND im so funny please laugh and give me tips COUGHS- /HJ

lastly... if you think i don't have a lil silly idea thingy to share on ur bday, ur horribly mistaken. i dont know either to show it oN the day of ur birth or the birthday party, but we're gonna find out iughjvfredws just remind me till then since i know you will :))) its somewhat cool i think please think its cool its ugly yes but i'll improvise maybe trust

okay the moment your reading and watching this im in my night class sooooo may see ur messages or wait for another hr YES WAIT YOU FREAK until im done with class so we can yap jajajaj 💥

anyways have sum gift art bc i know u will cry if u dont get smth 💥

and yuri too LMAO

[dogydayz]

I have SO many feelings about Skids and Swerve too

I just dunno how to word them gnajakak

For my that I'm working on that is Swerve centric, Skids plays a MAJOR part in Swerve's story and I had to sit down with my friend to study his character and there is SO MUCH I could go on about him!

One major part is how he hates sitting back and doing nothing, but being forced to do so and watch anyway. Due to his trauma that he forgot, but very much still affects him, where he was forced to witness the people he thought he had just saved die.

Skids looked the WORST during the Swearth arc. Like, he looked more miserable seeing Swerve suffer than when he was reliving his trauma istg

Also this scene

Look at how he's so tenderly holding Swerve's face-

And this one too

IT TOOK ME A BIT TO NOTICE BUT SKIDS IS HOLDING SWERVE'S OTHER HAND AND UGH!

Also, look at him piggy backing Tailgate

He also would and has thrown punches for the people he cares for and very easily resorts to violence for them

Also Swerve calls Skids his best friend and would do everything to save his friend and even cried panicking for him (we don't see his visor doing the lil corner tear thing often)

And he also is always so concerned about Skids in general he also gets a lil aggressive when it comes to his friends

And just AAAAAAAAAAAA

I DONT THINK PEOPLE TALK ABOUT THEIR FRIENDSHIP ENOUGH WHY DOES IT FEEL LIKE THEY'RE ALWAYS IGNORED WHEN THEIR FRIENDSHIP WAS SUCH A BIG PART IN SO MANY MOMENTS!!!!!!

Ahem

Anyway

Sorry for the ramble I just get a lil passionate about them and I just think more people need to do more stuff about them or know about them 😌

And this isn't even all I have to say, but a lot of it is relating to my au that ties into canon and stuff I explore in general in the story and that is a whole other ramble in itself gkdkakaak

Hope ya don't mind this long ass ask tho TuT

I LOVE THIS!!! Ill be entirely real i dont often go back thru the comic because of how painful so many parts are (it makes me cry really easily) so youve been able to describe it soooo much better than i have. I adore them. i literally adore them. Skids cares so much for people. It’s WHY his trauma affected him so horribly. oh, and also? when he was literally DYING, his only thought was to try to GET TO BRAINSTORM. TO TELL HIM WHAT HAD HAPPENED. TO ADMIT TO IT HAVING BEEN HIS OWN DOING. HE DIDNT EVEN CARE ABOUT HIMSELF!!! Skids’ EVERYTHING is utterly agonizing to me. in my story when he gets revived and everyone is freaking out in unadulterated joy, Nautica feels horrendous because she cant seem to make herself feel more excited to see him again (due to the whole grief thing). And she tries to apologize, but he just grabs her by the shoulders and is like “I literally COULD NOT CARE LESS about that! I’m alive, and all of you still are too-! That’s all I care about, you’re all okay!!”

Swerve will probably break down seeing him back tbh. that shit fucked him up. He was like, noticeably more nervous and such after all of that went down (and can we talk about the fact that Cyclonus basically took over in standing up for Swerve and comforting him? Like. FUCK man. goddamn it. im going to be violently ill about all of them.)

[en-djinn]

I've been meaning to ask if you have any opinions about The Goddess. I feel like a lot of the more recent Warlock stuff is kinda trying to ignore that she existed :')

so i finally finished infinity crusade and am in the last stretch of infinity watch. finished it abt a week ago bt i wanted to let it marinate in my head a little before saying anything. this is the first time im talking abt smth so recent to me so this will be a lil undercooked wrt my thoughts and very meandering, but i think the act of writing this out will help me anyway loll, it usually does

right away. infinity crusade spoilers obvs.

first of all ill talk abt ur last comment there, and i wanna ask fr further clarification on what exactly u mean by that bt ill just cover both things i thought u meant anyway.

so its pretty obvious that the goddess represents the past, right. warlock is the present, magus is the future. thats why the goddess isnt present in things like the magus is. her stuff is already over. warlock isnt going to revert coz hes already here as he is, the man that he chose to be (transmasc W!).

the goddess is his previous incarnations that were a woman. now that itself is a very interesting topic i wish theyd touched more on bt i also think its good that its kept vague (or at least i hope it is) coz the room to speculate is what makes it fun to think abt. the goddess is a version of him that no longer exists. in fact i think theres a strong case to view this all thru the lens of transmasculinity in general, as a trans man myself i see it like the goddess being yourself before you Knew. i used to have thoughts like 'maybe she wouldve been happier. but it wouldnt have been me. it would have been someone else.' thats what the goddess feels like to me. and magus feels a lot like the childish toxic masculinity of throwing ur weight around as a man for the first time, compensating for what u cant quite believe u truly are.

warlock is the one who is comfortable with both halves, hes chosen to be a man but has accepted that these stereotypical gender roles are arbitrary and unhelpful.

anyway as for the other thing u couldve meant, her being ignored in the actual narrative as never having happened? to be fair im not sure how she would be involved unless it was part of the story of the other 'perfect humans' and i havent rly gotten to them yet! ive seen Her but not as she returns as ayesha, and i havent seen the others yet either. but i dont see why the goddess shouldnt be involved with them in the future (assuming she isnt already). adam and the goddess are technically the same being but theyre not the same person in the way that warlock and magus are. so i think broaching that topic w the actual women seems like the way to go? again especially seeing as Her is also very transgender. they are ALL trans to me btw because theyre nonhumans who are adopting to the human gender binary, which makes them inherently trans. but some will have a stronger case or allegory to project than others, is more what i mean. bt again, i havent gotten to them yet so i rly cant say a whole lot. id like to come back to this tho once i have.

anyway, that stuff aside... where to even start.

i DO love that they keep a balance w morality/intent even tho they say that magus is evil and goddess is good. magus wants infinite life and a deathless world, goddess wants pure nothingness and death for all. and both perspectives do make sense. what the goddess wants Would mean an end to all pain, and like the magus, shes lashing out in frustration at adam for not seeing and accepting all the sides of himself. though in her case, adam just didnt know she existed at all. generally i also love that adam's whole Thing is that hes obsessive and swings wildly between extremes and magus+goddess both represent these extremes. theyre him dialled up to 11. in that way the goddess is the perfect counterbalance to both warlock and magus. bt hey starlin's understanding of the character he essentially Made (obviously not made as a fictional character but Made him into who he is) is really impressive to see every time, love the way he writes things as character studies first.

i also love the implication that adam was Supposed to have a childhood. and that the gotg cartoon that i loved for its depiction of adams origins is actually way closer to canon than id thought!

it could be elaborate headcanon bt to me this means that every previous incarnation of himself grew up from being small, and his most recent birth at the enclave is an outlier. a sort of trapping of his soul or smth. which actually makes more sense considering later on when magus is also reborn as an actual child.

hmm i lost my train of thought cz i was watching vids w someone. bt honestly im not sure i have a ton more to say specifically abt her? the rest of my infinity crusade thoughts are ummm. predictably. about magus. i REALLY enjoyed it as a whole tho, it was fantastic. even tho i dislike the big teamup stuff in general cz it spreads the narrative too thin and u cant focus on any one char which means all the less important ones are gonna be ooc to some degree. hmmm. idk. my train of thought is totally gone wwww, if u wanted to ask abt smth more specific then go ahead bt ig thats my thoughts for now

[vryptidart]

lets play book 1 again

because i'm trying to work out how to do alternate romance-start pacing for salt/ava given they don't meet until After book 1. i already have a salt/ava save file and ive been playing thru book2 but I Need More Data and staring at the code options isn't quite the same

do love Nat's intro hehe im gonna be screenshotting as many Nat scenes as Ava ones bc i'm gonna be going for Nat friendship route

glare-off commence

rebecca Effortlessly lying (still giggling over Why Are You Wet)

'each one also sounding like a lie' is such a great line bruh

also funny theres an error here i distinctly remember writing Ava as being 6ft tall huh sera better fix that

god she's suuuuch a bitch i love her anyway slams that 'OBVIOUSLY NOT' option. i dont need the stat i am just having my fun with doodoo mortain

naaat i lov u 💖💖💖

oh right i have to pick my routes hmm ok we're goin verda so i can get those yummy N friendship points

hilarious to have written a fic where yeah. actually that was Salt's first impression. Ava standing in the hallway. "I was just checking my phone. by your door." this isnt suspicious at all. now shut up and accept ignorance while i save your life

love the 'half in concealed annoyance' gfhghfh i think if any character understands that loving Ava is agony, Nat does- this is her best friend she has to watch Be Like This ghfhghf

so twagic... boops her on the nose and runs

forgot how quickly both tina and verda are just OKAY SO DETECTIVE WHO ARE YOU MAKING A MOVE ON HINT HINT NUDGE NUDGE theyre like seras little romance shoulder angels thru book1

side note im not gonna screencap the descriptions of janets body but like. murphy why'd you injure her like that. i get you wanted to drain the blood but you werent exactly stopping the new stuff from also draining out hurting her that way. idiot.

lol

makes me wonder how much the past bodies were actually medically investigated- this seems more like genuine surprise. maybe the transfusion was just a New Thing he was trying with Janet, but... idk

oh hm maybe. her arms getting slashed was just to get the vampire blood back out of her after it failed? would he Care about leaving that evidence? HRMMM dammit i wanna write more janet fic ugh

sobs, cries, beats my chest

suuuuch an interesting interaction tbh 🤔🤔🤔 what was N going to say... gibe me the offscreen argument this is in reference to...

already this playthru is helping, bc smth abt this made me figure out how to progress the scene ive been grumbling over this afternoon hehe

alright posting this now bc my computer's bein a lil chuggy

[scivors]

HIII i was going thru ur blog and holy shit the anon who requested u in ur other post wasnt wrong that you're a really good writer LIKE DAMNNNN???

THE WAY YOU WRITE SIMON'S PERSONALITY IS SO GOOD AND REALISTIC, LIKE STRAIGHT UP. ur writing is honestly such a breath of fresh air, because some of the fanfics ive read abt simon are pretty ooc unfortunately. THE WAY YOU WRITE IS SO PEAKKKK/pos

If its okay with you, can you do like where the reader who also suffers from "self-inflicted ouchies"(sh) and they just find simon just doing "self-inflicted ouchies" in his room or just any location(you pick), and like after that the reader helps him with harm-reduction by teaching him how to clean his wounds?? basically teaching him sh aftercare, because in the game its pretty apparent simon legit just pulls his sleeves down and calls it a day.

and honestly as someone who suffers from self-mutilation irl, watching simon just doing fruit ninja on the sidewalk in the cry of fear:memories dlc while doing NOTHING, to clean his wounds made me cringe so bad. like bro,, YOU WILL GET AN INFECTION. STOP.

also its okay if you dont wanna accept this request, since this topic is rlly sensitive so its fine! either way thank you sm for writing simon so well :3

Y'all can skip this long ass intro if y'all don't feel like reading it.

((My page is for people to feel seen and heard through the characters I write about. People who self harm aren't to be silenced, they aren't meant to be put aside because the topic is "sensitive"

Self harm is a coping mechanism.. It can help you express feelings that are way too difficult to express or it becomes an addiction cause you like the feeling that you can at least feel something in the moment.. However, it can also be dangerous because of the medical health benefits.

I hope you're well and okay.

- Mika, Mikayla Winters))

Reader x Simon - both of them use self harm.

"You make me feel like I am clean again.."

Vulnerable Simon? 😞

[introduction]

However cutting himself doesn't seem like the only issue here, he has other forms of self harm in the game..

You didn't catch him..

Naturally Simon doesn't necessarily care about his scars, he doesn't care how infected his scars look and how deep they are as long as they're doing their job..

Bottling up your emotions is another form of self harm..

Also abusing substances like drugs in the game to make him "heal faster".

[how you two met]

Let's talk about how you two met.

You and Simon go to the same college, you two met each other in one of your classes together..

He was trying to focus as much as he could on the lecture that was right in front of him, but in complete circumstances, his attention span slipped and his mind wandered elsewhere. Missing half the lecture.

Outside of college Simon decided to have a little smoke to help him make it through the day at least. His body was running on energy drinks, cigarettes and 3 hours of sleep.

You find this very noticeable but without alarming anyone or trying to scare him away, instead, you slowly make your way towards him. Simon was skeptical by your sudden approach, he knows you. You two go to the same class.. However Simon doesn't know you enough to even know your name. But do you know him??? Do you even remember his name?

He avoided eye contact with you, assuming you're just there to ask if he can give you his cigarettes.. By the time you two started talking, you pulled out your own cigarettes..Simon was hit with relief.(if you don't smoke you can skip this shit) and that's where the conversation kinda happened.

- My name's ______ ,

- I'm from there and there

Basically how every normal conversation happens..

.

.

.

[how you two found out..]

I remember way back that I have a headcanon saved in my drafts about Simon Henriksson who forgets he has scars underneath his hoodie whenever he is around you.

You just so happened to visit his house for game night and Simon was comfortable enough to not wear his hoodie at the time. All infected and not even properly cleaned at all.

- you allow time to pass by. But the more Simon exchanged glances with you, he fully understands what you're hinting at until you finally address the elephant in the room..

"....Hey." you rolled up your sleeve to expose what you've been hiding from everyone else..

- It's not Simon's first time seeing scars. He's completely numb to the feeling of seeing scars in front of him. This doesn't make him a monster, but rather this makes him less judgemental to your suffering since he understands your pain.

"I'm..sorry. Did you do this to yourself? Why?"

He would COMPLETELY understand if you don't want to mention it. But still, he is a bit noisy in that subject of the matter..

"It's..something irrelevant that I'm not quite comfortable sharing at the moment."

Rightfully so, he guessed it. He didn't push the questions any further. Then there's a long pause between you two before you decide to speak again.

"But...like...yours look infected. Like..REALLY infected..Do you want me to show you how to clean them?" You sound concerned rather than trying to criticise him which is something new.

Simon took a moment to gain back his critical thinking after analysing his own arm.

"...they're not all that bad.."

You doubted him on that part. However if there's one thing that Simon likes about you it's gotta be the fact how you're not fake. Almost straight to the point and bold, even your face says it all..it matches perfectly with what you're exactly thinking

"well, let me at least show you what product I use.."

"Oh..kay-.." he looked down nervously as you took the lead..

Oh my god, Simon started suddenly overthinking everything that just happened..

He didn't care before, why is it now that he's feeling this regret and fear that you'll potentially tell everyone about his scars..

It's like his whole perspective of you changed like a flick of a light switch..

"you're not gonna tell anyone about this, right? Please don't tell anyone.."

While in the middle of cleaning his arm, the reader took a moment to look away from his arm and derange eye contact with him before gently with a soft touch on his shoulder, your tone reassured him gently.

" Simon, I should be the last person to judge someone by their scars. I mean, look at the scars on my arm.. We're no different from one another.."

After what you said there's another long pause between the both of you. The room went quiet and so did his thoughts.

"But why do you trust me with your scars?"

"I didn't at first. but I guess you made it non-verbally clear that you're the nonjudgmental type.." you gave him a genuine smile

He admired your intense observation and how you noticed every detail about him. I mean, that's who you are basically. Someone who notices things and feels things deeply..

"Ah...well. I guess I can be sometimes judgemental, but not with stuff like this.."

- What if I tell you that Simon wasn't sober at this moment. When he's on drugs he's completely relaxed and vulnerable almost like he's expressing that side of him that doesn't fully exist yet and only comes out when he's stoned.

- He did them before you came into his house. He wanted to make a good impression in front of you and make it seem like he's got everything under control when in actual reality, he feels so much more sensible and gentle..

[bbyg4rl]

i feel like this is a controversial take, but i dont like that cleo is part of the pogues. rant :

dont get me wrong, cleo is one of my fav characters from the show. cleo and pope is my fav (only fav) ship from the show. but i hate how cleo's character outline feels like its been reduced to 'oh shes pope's gf'

they made her a main part of the show only halfway thru and almost instantly she and pope are on the way to become bf and gf. and see i love strangers to lovers as much as the next guy but really, who is cleo?

she doesnt get her own season, she doesnt have her own separate storyline, the focus is never on her the way it is on the rest of the pogues. how did she adjust to the kook vs pogue dynamic? how did she react to being stranded on a deserted island with people who, are strangers to her, other than just 'ah fuck it we ball' and being brave about it? BRO WHATS HER LAST NAME???

all we know about her past is how terrance is a father figure to her and the only time she shows any emotion other than 'ill cut you', is when he dies, and when shes with pope. atleast thats my opinion. we never see her when shes just her.

in s3 she calls the pogues out and shes the reason they even go to the dock to find kiara, where was that dynamic for the rest of the show? who is cleo as her own person and what does she repeatedly add to the group?

who is cleo? if you asked me that rn, i would say oh shes a pogue, shes pope's gf, but i personally, would not be able to describe her the way id be able to describe kiara or sarah.

i will always shit on the obx writers for how they fucked the female characters but the way they did cleo dirty will always hurt me on a different level. there is just so much wasted potential. when i was watching the show, cleo was introduced as a main part when the cross thing was still happening, and the cross was such a big part of pope's storyline, which was focused on his race right? go back to s1, the way rafe absolutely wrecked pope's face on the golf course seemed to be more of a hate crime, the way he burnt the cross, destroying pope's ancestry is another symbolic event in my eyes. keep in mind this post isnt me saying rafe is racist, this is about a black woman, dont let a white man steal the spotlight.

my point is, i expected there to be something that ties her in with the whole plot, i expected to watch her adjust to how the kooks vs pogues separation was set and how much harder it wouldve been on a woman of color. think back to how rafe calls kie half a pogue and half a kook. kie is as far as i know a mixed woman right? how is a mixed woman the only time we've seen a kook poc? think about it.

i deal with racism and colorism on a daily basis. and personally, i would've been FUCKED outta my mind if i had to deal with the rich vs poor thing too. and i was waiting so hard to watch cleo having to deal with all this because lets be honest, its a reality. where was all this? they half assed a character who had so much potential to add to the show and ill forever be pissed about it.

if they werent going to give her character the plotline she deserved, they never shouldve added her at all.

[woman-respecter]

Literally the whole point of being a fujo is that you dont have to be a part of it!! You get to exert control over two fictional men and watch them go thru it and also get it on which is just hot!! Like ew no i dont want to get in there. For me personally its also fun to objectify men and no woman character around to remind me of the irl power dynamics and constructs and my own failed performance of femininity etc

yes! i feel that 100%! and it has me like…why are u calling urself a fujo if u just want to fuck the guy and see urself as the other guy? we really need to assert the (very clear) line between fujoshi and yumejoshi more firmly….

[watermelonlicker]

Hi, so this is random and not about larry but I was browsing through the iwtv tag and saw your old post so I recognized you cause I follow you(so you're the only one I felt safe enough to send this to) but I was just wondering since I haven't watched the show and I want to but I'm just scared that it may not be worth it if there would be other ships besides loustat which is my favorite, and I know there's an upcoming season but I'm not sure if they would have enough scenes from what I've read. What do you think and if you could share any thoughts or suggestions I'd love to hear about that before watching the show.

hi!! well lolll i’ve had a journey with iwtv lemme tell you and if the post you’re referring to is that fucking lestat post i’m already bracing myself to be annoyed by even more notifs when he does some fuck shit in s3 djdjdjdj

anyways so while i do not recommend joining the fandom as it is a cesspool of racism and is very much not fun, i do recommend watching the show bcos it is soooooo fucking good. like it is a gothic masterpiece and is single handedly responsible for the vampire renaissance in my not humble opinion when it comes to that show bcos it is the best thing on television. i am a loustat shipper thru and thru and they dominate s1 so i dont think you have to worry about scenes. s2 not as much bcos the focus is on louis (but he’s my favorite character so i was perfectly fine with that and im biased so idk if lestat is your fave you might struggle) but les is still very much a presence if that makes sense

now for other ships besides loustat unfortunately yes there are many. lestat is a bit of hoe but louis is his constant if that makes sense like he doesn’t love anyone but louis but there are a lot of rival ships in the fandom which makes fandom dynamics annoying as always you know it’s nothing new. louis also has a love interest in s2 which… if you can even call it that. and tw in s1 there is something very abusive lestat does to louis in episode 5 that pretty much rocked the fandom.

now for the upcoming season i have no idea and that’s part of the reason i fully transitioned back to larrying. there’s a lot of weird shit going on bts with this fyc press run sam is on (the actor who plays lestat) who has been placed front and center for promo and jacob (the actor who plays louis) and all of the side cast of color have not been included in press at all which is unlike how it was before (don’t even get me started on the lack of money invested in the show when jacob was still the face vs sam now being the face i have many fucking posts ranting about amc’s racism)

it does seem s3 will be very much the lestat show as it is based on his pov book the vampire lestat (the producers promised louis would still be a main character but idk how much i trust that anymore) like the wave of trumpism in the us and the roll back on diversity going on down there idk how much that will effect loustat in the upcoming season. they have also taken extremely long to write s3 like literally about a year which makes me think rewrites happened.

i will unfortunately be watching to find out bcos that show has me in a chokehold but if you end up not wanting to i feel the first two seasons are a completed story so it will be fine if you stop there. ♥️