#you should be more supportive and kind...

[that-one-girl2020]

Saja Boys x Rumi’s Sister! Reader Pt. 4

A/N: Hello all of you. Wow, you all keep popping out of the kpop woodwork but thank you for all the support! I love reading your comments! I decided to post this today since I was able to squeeze it out tonight.

Reminder for people, I can’t tag more than fifty people so the tag list is closed. But, feel free to share outtake ideas in the comments or dm me!

TW: Self mutilation (just scratching on the arms), insecurity, and toxic mentalities (Thanks Celine)

Word Count: 4,457

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

(Reminder: Baby = Jum, Romance = Chungae, Mystery = Hyeon, and Abby = Kwan)

That night, as the Saja Boys laid outside the venue for Huntr/x’s fan sign event, there was nothing for them to do but scroll on their phones or talk to each other. Each had a single sleeping bag and only Jinu had a chair to get more comfortable so the boys were a little miserable. But, needs must in war.

“Sooo… who else has been hardcore simping for (Y/n)?” Kwan suddenly asked to fill the quiet.

“Hardcore.”

“Yeah, same.”

“Yes.”

“Obviously.”

There was just something about you that called to them. Maybe it was the way you smiled or the way you laughed without restraint? The way you treated them with normal kindness despite knowing that they served Gwi Ma? The way Gwi Ma’s voice quieted when they were around you? The way you made them feel more human than they had in centuries?

There was more to say between them. Of course there was, they were fond of this half human, half demon girl and they were plotting to destroy her world and kill her sister and her friends. And the moment you told them your weakness, they would have to exploit it to make the Honmoon and the Hunters shatter.

The Saja Boys felt a creeping feeling of despair.

~~~

That morning, you had gotten the girls up and made them something to eat then let the wardrobe and makeup team up. Their outfits were already set out in the living area along with the girls' makeup. The girls hated this part, usually doing their own makeup but it kept appearances up when there was a team doing final checks on their appearances. And pampering them. It also gave more people more jobs.

It was totally chaotic and you caught yourself scratching every now and then before your focus was drawn to something else.

“Okay okay okay, girls, team, everyone down to the cars! Gotta get the venue set up!” Bobby ushered everyone toward the elevator, the girls and you going down first and Bobby would follow with the rest of the team. You were so thankful for a private garage. It kept rabid crowds of fans trek crowding them.

When they got there, they set up the tables and the posters quickly, you making last minute adjustments to their appearance. For fan sign events, you stood behind the girls to get them anything they needed and to take care of gifts the fan gave them to keep room on the table.

Bobby set the last of the posters in front of them as the girls did final stretches and settled into their seats. “All right, team, I know everyone is all Saja, Saja, Saja, but we’re gonna turn it into Huntr/x, Huntr/x, Huntr/x! Yay! These fans slept on the sidewalk, overnight!” He did his best to hype them up.

“And I got all the fuel you guys’ll need to get through the next few hours,” You told them, nodding your head to the box of drinks and snacks you had for them.

The girls did their little circle, cheering each other with their pens, “Happy fans, happy Honmoon!” They whispered.

You took your place behind the girls as the doors opened and the fans flooded in, spearheaded by five people in sleeping bags, “Let’s bring them in! Welcome!”

The five sleeping bags eagerly waddled up to the table despite Bobby’s urging to go in a single file without pushing. You couldn’t help but giggle, it reminded you of the sleeping bag Mira had you design for her for the Met. Maybe they were Mira fans…

“And who should I make this out to?” Rumi greeted them.

“‘To our biggest fans.’”

‘Wait. You knew that sly, antagonistic, pretty voice.’

The sleeping bags dropped and the Saja Boys smoothly posed. Your jaw dropped. Did they really spend all night on the sidewalk just to mess with the girls? Were they that petty? Apparently, yes. Yes they were.

Bobby moved quickly, greeting the boys respectfully despite the interruption and the girls' complaints as they snapped their pens, summoning another table for the boys. But as soon as half the line split to line up in front of the Saja Boys’ table, Rumi stood, “The Saja Boys will sit with us!”

Zoey and Mira protested but the half of the crowd swiftly rejoined the original line as Bobby teared up at Rumi’s genius. The girls rearranged themselves, spreading out though Mira and Zoey clearly didn’t want to.

You couldn’t help the frown you had as Chungae and Kwan sidled up to Mira while Zoey fawned over Hyeon. And Jinu was whispering with Rumi. You did your job, grabbing five more waters from your box to pass out to the boys. It kinda… hurt when they didn’t acknowledge you, you knew they couldn’t, not with the fans and the other girls here, but still. It stung.

You couldn’t help but giggle when Kwan started passing out signed sketch outlines of his abs though.

You blinked and then sighed fondly when Hyeon started barking at a fan for some reason. You bit your lip, you wanted to pull him back but you couldn’t make any contact with the boys like this. You scratched at your arms in stress.

“No!” Zoey hit him with her pen, scolding him, “Bad Saja Boy!”

Hyeon backed down unhappily, pouting as he bit back a growl at the girl. He crossed his arms, sulking. ‘She hadn’t noticed how the fan’s eyes kept flickering up to stare behind them, at you,’ Hyeon mentally growled.

At the same time, Kwan, Mira, and Chungae started fighting over who would sign a fan’s leg cast first. Seeing the huge problem, you grimaced and quickly rushed over since no one else was doing anything.

“Woah, woah, woah,” You waved your arms over them, smiling tensely down at them, “Good idols don’t further injure their fans,” You hissed pointedly though your customer service smile didn’t waver. You shoved Chungae’s pen in his hand and slid the man’s leg over to him first.

”So sorry about any discomfort sir, they were just so excited to sign for you,” You bowed to the fan and scurried back to your place. You made sure to keep a watchful eye on them.

‘Why couldn’t they be like Jum? Jum was just quietly signing the posters and whatever the fans asked to be signed—within reason. Jum is being perfect. Be more like Jum guys.’

Speaking of Jum, he waved you over and you leaned down to offer your ear when he crooked his finger to the squeals of some of the fans. “Do you have any energy drinks? It was a long night on the sidewalk…” He whispered. Your face heated at the sensation of his voice in your ear and his breath fanning over your skin.

‘No! Bad thoughts (Y/n)! Focus on the boy, he wants an energy drink!’

Straightening up stiffly, you didn’t dare say anything because you knew you would stutter and stumble and make a mess of yourself. You smiled and nodded your head, hurrying over to your drink and snack stash. You were not running away from the hot maknae.

Jum couldn’t help but smirk and chuckle fondly as he watched you scurry away to get an energy drink for him. The back of your neck was flushed so he could imagine the flustered look on your face. He hadn’t even meant to, he was just really tired. But your reaction definitely gave him a little bit more energy, at least enough to smile at fans and send hearts at them every now and then. Jinu would owe them big time for this one…

“Here you go, Jum,” His name slipped out without you meaning to but, thankfully, no one seemed to hear you.

Jum took the can with a smile, making sure your fingers brushed as he did, “Thanks (Y/n).”

And then he cracked it open and took a long drink, his throat bobbing with every swallow.

‘Was this fan service!? Run (Y/n)!’

You got out of there as fast as you could. You scurried back to the safety of your drink and snack stash so you could bury your face in your hands until your face cooled down. ‘In front of the fans too…’

You looked up in time to awe over the cutest little girl ever going up to the table with a drawing, her eyes on Jinu. You couldn’t see Jinu’s face as he slowly took the drawing, other fans shouting about how much they loved Jinu.

You blinked, cocking your head in confusion when Rumi suddenly stood, her arms held out to gesture at Jinu, “Isn’t he great? Woo! Jinu, everybody! Yeah Jinu!” Rumi cheered. It set off the crowd of fans, cheering and clapping wildly as they threw bouquets of flowers to each of the Saja Boys.

“‘Woo, Jinu’?” Mira echoed in disbelief. You grimaced, she didn’t sound happy at all…

Jinu then stood, “Unfortunately, the Saja Boys have to run. Thank you, everyone.” The rest of the boys followed his lead.

You stood at attention when Bobby suddenly waved to you, “(Y/n), can you show them to the back exit and call one of the cars around?” He trailed off into muttering about how the boys never had any managers or employees with them, a little disgruntled.

You started to nod when Rumi’s protective streak flared anew, “No!”

Everyone was looking at her.

”Uhhh, I mean, I was gonna ask (Y/n) to get me a, uhhh…” Rumi trailed off, her mind blanking on what to say. The Saja Boys already kidnapped her sister once and put her in danger, she didn’t want them doing it again.

“Some more water! You wanted some more water, right Rumi?” Zoey chimed in, her smile strained as she tried to help.

“Yeah! Yeah, I need some more water!” Rumi agreed quickly. All eyes went to the half full water bottle on the table. She quickly snatched it up and chugged it down. Aggressively.

“Okay… I’ll get you some more water, you can go ahead (Y/n),” Bobby reassured and you smiled awkwardly. There was no getting out of this. Not that you really wanted to get out of it…

“It’s fine, I’ll be right back Rumi,” You reassured your sister before leading the boys to the back as they waved to the fans, “This way.”

As soon as the boys were out of sight of the fans, they sagged with exhaustion, tossing the bouquets out.

You grimaced, and fished them out of the garbage, “Come on guys… I know you guys are tired but, just take some pictures with them later or something, the fans’ll like that…” You knew they were exhausted and probably aching from sleeping on the sidewalk all night but you couldn’t just let them do that right in front of you.

Jinu was quiet behind you, staring thoughtfully at the girl’s drawing in his hand.

“Tired…”

“Too much effort…”

“Can’t do it…”

“Nghhh…”

You shook your head at them, leading them to the back exit as you juggled the flowers in your arms to get your phone and text one of the drivers to come around to the back door.

“Okay, wait right here and one of our drivers will come and take you guys wherever you need to go,” You told them, shoving your phone in your pocket.

You almost fell over when someone’s body weight was suddenly on top of your shoulders, their face resting in the crook of your shoulder. “So tired…” Hyeon groaned. You blushed but couldn’t move before Chungae and Kwan plopped on the ground to lean their back’s against both sides of your legs. Jum pouted, settling with just leaning his head against your arm as all four boys tiredly closed their eyes. You were stuck.

It was like when a cat or a dog deigned you with the honor of them laying in your lap so you didn’t dare shift even a millimeter in the horrible case of you disturbing them. Your muscles were tense and you felt like your legs were going numb but you didn’t dare move.

You looked up flatly when you heard Jinu snickering to himself. “These are your children, shouldn’t you take them?” You hissed at him.

Jinu held his hands up in surrender, “Hey, they like Mama more, that’s not my fault,” He smirked.

The cluster of five people all looked at him in deadpan. Did this guy really just insinuate that he and you were their parents? “Ew.”

Your phone chimed and you slowly shook the boys off, “Alright, car’s here guys.”

They whined but released you and got to their feet. Chungae took your hand in his, swinging them back and forth as he pleaded, “Come with us, wanna cuddle…”

‘Okay, so Chungae got childishly clingy when he was tired. Noted.’

“I can’t, you guys can’t keep kidnapping me. I gotta stay with the girls for this event,” You told him and started herding the boys outside and to the car.

“Fine…” Chungae huffed, mindlessly giving you a kiss on the cheek before he shuffled into the car first, “Bye darling…”

‘Was he really that tired?!’ Your face combusted.

Looks like they were taking turns.

Hyeon was next, taking your hand and pressing a lingering kiss to the back of it before he followed after Chungae, “‘Till next time, princess.”

Kwan wrapped his arms around you, squeezing you in a tight hug and oh gosh. You can feel all his muscles. “See you later, babe.” And then he was climbing into the car too.

Jum approached you with a cool air, but his eyes didn’t meet yours as he took your hand in his and gave it a soft, shy squeeze, “Thanks for the drink earlier, beautiful.” You opened your hand as he climbed into the car to see your favorite candy. Was this gift-giving…?

Jinu tried to hide his chuckle at how red and flustered you were as snores started sounding from the car already. You pouted at him. “You look like the co-host from ‘Play Games With Us!’ after the spicy challenge,” He quietly cackled.

Was your face really that red? You pressed your hands to your cheeks to cool them down, tossing the flowers into the car after the boys. “Shut it, pretty boy,” You grumbled petulantly.

Jokes on him, now he was flustered and blushing. Jinu could dish it out but he couldn’t take it when the flirting was directed at him apparently.

Jinu cleared his throat, looking away from your little smirk as he fumbled with his hands. “Okay, uh, I’ll see you around.”

“Okay. Bye Jinu,” You waved as he fumbled to get into the car as you walked back to the door.

“Uh, byeee, ugh,” he cringed at the way his voice came out. You didn’t get to hear him mutter and groan at himself as he quickly closed the car door behind him and the car soon took off.

You shook your head in amusement at the boys and went back inside to finish the event with the girls.

It was hours later of Rumi glancing worriedly at you out of the corner of her eye until the event finished, Bobby grinning happily at the success of the event.

“Great job girls!” He cheered, circling the table as employees cleaned up the venue. He showed his phone to Mira and Zoey joined to see what it was, “The internet loves this, and the internet is never wrong!”

You looked over their shoulders as Mira snatched Bobby’s phone to go through the stories, “Rujinu! That’s genius.” It was a picture of Jinu and Rumi’s feet touching under the table with the caption, ‘Rujinu?! Playing footsie?!’

Mira tapped through to a drawing of Zoey with a glowering baby Jum in her arms and Hyeon at her side with a beaming smile, “Zoeystery. Where did they come up with that?”

And an edit of Mira with Chungae and Kwan on each side of her, the three surrounded by hearts, “Miro-mabby?” Mira tried to sound out the poly ship name as her fist clenched.

“Aw, you’re so cute together!” Zoey cooed lightheartedly.

Your eyes widened when Mira clicked again and this time it was a collage of Jum whispering in your ear earlier, drinking the energy drink, and you burying your red face in your hands with the caption, ‘(Y/n) is literally us, same girl! I hardcore ship it tho! (Y/n) + Baby!’ With plenty of hearts.

Zoey gasped excitedly, “They even did you, (Y/n)!”

You bit your lip, flushing as Mira turned her head to look at you, “You were blushing over them?” She asked you incredulously.

You stared flatly back at her, “I don’t wanna hear it when you kept watching Abby make those sketches of his abs.”

She shrugged, “Point taken.”

Zoey nodded, “Yeah, fair enough.”

~~~

Rumi didn’t know what to do.

On one hand, she had Zoey and Mira with this diss track, racing towards their goal of destroying all demons and trapping them in the demon realm with Gwi Ma for eternity.

On the other hand, she had Jinu and the constant niggling in her head that not all demons deserve to suffer.

And below it all, the protective determination to protect you, her sister. The faster she completed the Honmoon, the faster her and your patterns would be gone so you both could live normal lives. That’s what she wanted for you.

Rumi couldn’t talk to you about what was going on, you wouldn’t understand. And she didn’t want to freak you out over Jinu knowing about her—and by extension—your patterns.

But she did have to talk to Jinu. Maybe there was hope for him. And if there was hope for him, then there must be hope for you and her.

That’s why she gave the note to Derpy to give to Jinu.

So, early in the morning as the sun was just barely about to come up, she saw Jinu waiting for her. “She wants to meet, and she’s late?”

Rumi couldn’t help but sneak up behind him and land on the wall, making him shriek and flail as he turned and saw her suddenly crouched behind him. “You made me come all the way out here so you could jump-scare me?!” He panted, gripping his chest as he felt his heart slowly come down from the hummingbird speed it had jumped to. (Y/n) would never treat him like this…

Rumi jumped down smoothly, ignoring his question. “Follow me.”

He did. “Well, I’m glad you’re finally ready to talk. Although, you could’ve picked somewhere nicer for a date.”

Rumi faltered, “‘Date’? No! Ew! What are you talking about?”

Jinu pointedly held up the invite she had sent him, reading, ‘Save the Date.’

“That doesn’t mean—“ She sighed frustratedly, “You’re so old. This is strictly a business meeting.” She snatched the invite from him, going back to her walk as he trailed after her.

“Right… I thought you were into your friends. Glad it’s not me,” Jinu mused as he followed the purple haired girl.

Rumi blanched again, “What?! No! No way! I— They— We— Just, just keep your nose out of my love life, okay?! Business. Meeting.”

Jinu held up his hands in surrender, “Okay, loud and clear,” He agreed and the two resumed walking, Rumi with much redder cheeks than she had arrived with.

“What if I told you there’s another way to get your freedom?” Rumi asked him, her face serious and solemn now.

“Go on.”

“Help us win the Idol Awards. Because when we win, the Honmoon will be sealed,” Rumi explained, hopping up onto the wall with a touch to the Honmoon so it glowed out over the city. “And that will guarantee your freedom. Gwi Ma will be permanently cut off, and all the demons will be gone from this world. My sister and I will finally be free of these patterns. No more hiding. No more secrets. You can be on this side when the Honmoon is sealed. Away from the demon world, away from Gwi Ma. You can be free from those voices forever.”

Jinu looked away in consideration. Rumi didn’t know his true story, she thought he had made a deal for his family, when in reality, he made the deal for himself. Besides, her thinking was flawed, even he could see it. She was telling herself comforting lies.

“But I am a mistake.”

Jinu frowned at her words, looking up at her.

“Have been since the moment I was born. So, I have to believe. Because if there’s no hope for you, what hope is there for me?”

After a moment, he couldn’t help but ask, “And your sister? Is she a mistake too?”

Rumi looked down, conflicted. “(Y/n)… I don’t want to think so, I love her. But… if we weren’t born the way we were, maybe she would’ve been able to use the Honmoon like us…” Rumi trailed off softly, unsure and bitter over her own conflicted thoughts and emotions on her sister.

They were interrupted by a middle aged woman offering a bracelet to Jinu to give to his ‘girlfriend.’ The two flailed, stumbling over their words until the woman gave Jinu a flat look and Rumi the bracelet with the advice to find a better boy since Jinu was hopeless.

“Well, there’s your answer. Hopeless.”

Rumi gave the bracelet a soft, thoughtful look, “That’s the funny thing about hope. Nobody else gets to decide if you feel it. That choice belongs to you.” She held the bracelet out to offer him, “Here. Think of it as a… friendship bracelet.”

When Jinu took too long to think about it, Rumi turned away to leave with a sigh. “Wait.” He told her, holding his hand out for the bracelet when she turned. She smiled softly and slid it into his hand.

Looking at the bracelet in his hand, he couldn’t help but say, “For what it’s worth, I don’t think you or your sister are mistakes.”

Then they went their separate ways.

~~~

It was all getting to be too much for you.

The girls were at the venue for the Idol Awards since early this morning, practicing their performance for Takedown. You had asked Bobby to deliver snacks to girls for you because you were busy running errands in the city. Bobby had reassured you that he would do that while you did your errands—i.e. getting some air.

Since the fan sign event, you had been scratching at your patterns more and more. The Idol Awards were tomorrow and it seemed like you couldn’t escape Takedown whenever you were in the apartment with the girls. It always seemed to be playing, whether the girls were changing lyrics, working on choreography or just rehearsing singing the song.

And the more time you spent with the Saja Boys, the less you wanted the Honmoon to be completed.

Jum pretended to be aloof but he liked to give you little things that reminded him of you. He often found you while you were out running errands just so he could follow you while you did, no matter how boring it was like getting groceries. The both of you had gone back to the cat cafe the other day and had taken selfies on his phone with the cats. He had a whole album of them now.

Chungae came to your balcony most nights to whisk you up to the tower roof balcony. You two would sit and look out over the city, just talking. He would insert a flirty line every now and then to see you blush and rile you up but would always smooth it over with a fond smile.

Hyeon was more of a wildcard. He would find you while you were getting a breath of fresh air at the park or just in the city. Like he had a built in radar for you, he would find you when you felt stressed and he would distract you. He was a little protective though, growling at people he felt were too close to the two of you.

Kwan was starting to make a foodie out of you. He would barge in during random parts of the day when you were alone to drag you off to a new food place he had found or heard about. No matter how bizarre it seemed, he would always try it and you somehow ended up trying it too. He would draw you into little debates, getting you wound up in your bickering until you were laughing with your eyes passionate as you argued your point.

And Jinu was like a ghost fading in and out between all these different interactions. He was probably the calmest besides Jum and Chungae—it was a little weird that those two were the calmest when they were the two youngest of the group. Jinu introduced you to Derpy, his tiger and the little demon bird that always accompanied him. You laughed when he explained that he had made the hat for Derpy but bird kept taking it. Jinu and you bonded over music. You shared modern music with him, not just modern kpop, but jazz, rock, punk, pop, classical, everything you could think of. The two of you would sit under the night sky, an earbud in each of your ears as you listened to music.

You didn’t want to lose the five boys that had somehow wormed their way into your heart, not when they made you feel more safe and seen than even Rumi did. Besides, if even the five boys who were so kind and comforting to you ended up trapped on the other side of the Honmoon, then what hope was there that you would get to stay? In your stress, your patterns have progressed more than Rumi’s has. She could still wear shorts and skirts if she wanted to, even if her arms and neck had to be covered. But you?

Your patterns have progressed well onto your legs to the point where you couldn’t wear shorts or anything that showed your legs at all. The stress was making you scratch so bad despite you taking Jinu’s advice and trying to keep your nails short, that you had to start bandaging your arms under your sleeves to try and mitigate the harm you were unintentionally doing to yourself.

“(Y/n)?” You looked up at the call of your name. Oh yeah. You were trying to get some air so you went for a walk.

Who is it?

(A/N: Vote for who it is here! Can’t post anything until the poll is over!)

Outtakes:

*Before the Series*

You: “You completely wrecked your private jet?!”

Huntr/x: “It wasn’t our fault! It was the demons!”

You: *Pulling your hair out* “That is literally your excuse for everything!”

…

Jinu: *Resting semi-comfortably on a chair* “So…How you guys doing?”

Saja Boys: *Laying on the cold hard cement sidewalk, plotting Jinu’s death* “Shut the f*** up.”

…

Random Fan: “Awww, Mira, Romance and Abby get along so well, it’s so cute!~”

Mira, Romance, Abby: *Currently trying to kill each other*

Other fan: *side eyeing their friend* “Yeah…so well…”

Random Fan: *Manically whispering* “I will die on this ship.”

…

Jinu: “So, you like those other girls, right?”

Rumi: *Bipanic mode activated, blue screen mode activated* “Uhhhh…”

…

Rumi: “Yeah…me and my sister were born as mistakes.”

The Saja Boys, Mira, Zoey: *Ready to fight* “I’m sorry, what?”

Tag list: @brights-place @itmechaosartist @reni502 @chin-chii @cultish-corner @enerofairy @mama-m1na @akariis4snowball @gremlinartstudio @shynotded @shadowmoonlight0604 @omgsuperstarg @neigesprincess @sleep-7372 @hurts-my-brain @kiwibackie @gh0stied3ath @naysha140 @theferretkids @lelantyuu @sexyindependentdowntospendit @hornehlittleweeblet2 @moonymoo1 @moochiwoochi @cheolright @crescent-z @prorpy @mey-archive @cami1qx @nerdalicios @xxsadlovexx @latisthegenderfluidwannabealone @blackheart34 @anonymousewrites @scarletrosesposts @justanindiangirl12 @beexboo @tatsuri-zomushiki @call-me-nyxx @queenofviolenceandnerds @randomfan218-blog @jaybbygrl @unholycheesesnack @ocean-mochi @iviorienne @confusedparticle @otakusimp1 @nosbaby07 @fries11 @ri-eveowe @1950schick @libdarkheart @yourjustassaneasiamx @the-bookish-artist @anduinandwrathionlover @eternallyrosyfire @lysira340 @lansy-4 @strayharmony943 @maximumtrashchild @bleufu1 @minepugs @valeriele3 @arieslucy @nisarelle @suzieq1948374

[darthwoodrack]

I grew up in a centrist Republican district, didn’t swing Trump, but got close. In highschool civics, when students are talking about their political alignment and beliefs, around half the students, identified themselves as ‘Republicans,’ and then listed all the political beliefs of progressive liberals. Almost none of those people understood what they were actually supporting, they just saw ‘Conservative Republican’ thought good, and saw ‘Liberal Democrat,’ and thought bad. It’s not that they didn’t have political opinions that clashed with the party line, it’s that they didn’t understand that they did, or that they thought the ‘big issue’ that obviously those ‘evil Liberals’ were gonna destroy was important enough to backseat all of their other beliefs. Trying to explain ‘actually, that belief is more in line with the Democrats,’ just made them angry, and if you were one of the people they internalized as a ‘Liberal,’ (which was mostly the Socialists and the queer leadership, who were pretty much all Leftists, but I digress) they just didn’t listen to a word you were saying.

Beyond student ignorance, this kind of trigger phrase response exists all throughout political praxis, likely more with conservatives, but I’d be foolish to try and claim liberals and leftists are immune. Years ago, when the cop who murder George Flyod was being sentenced, I was having a perfectly civil discussion on Discord about how criminal sentencing worked, what happened, why this was a good thing (the sentencing, not the murder obviously), with a European conservative who wasn’t particularly tuned into the issue. He was understanding the issue, and broadly agreeing, until I said the words ‘the manufactured panic around Critical Race Theory.’ Then he got very angry, cursed me out, muted the conversation, and equated me to a Nazi. I should not need to say this, but he did not understand what Critical Race Theory is, he just read the noun, thought ‘Evil, this is just racism against White People,’ and started cursing. I did not have another political discussion with this man, who now believed me equivalent to a Nazi, which ironically revealed that he also did not understand Nazis.

[alessiamalfoyzabini]

Moondir - 03

Pairing | moondir!OT7 x human!Reader

Word Count | 6,3K

Warnings | +18, coercion, power dynamics, blood, torture, noncon touching, talks about future sex, hatred, one of the characters suffers from selective post-traumatic mutism, Yoongi and MC clearly have unresolved issues 💀, Jimin is a 100% asshole, discomfort and discussions about smell, Namjoon enjoys humiliating MC, Taehyung is in heat (not kidding) this is not for minors.

This fanfiction is dark and yandere, if you don't like the genre, don't read and if you are not of age, don't read.

I don't want to hear any complaints in the comments, thank you.

This does not reflect my way of thinking or living at all, it is just a work of fiction, it is like watching a horror movie, many of us love horror movies, but we would never dream of what we see in those movies happening in reality as well.

Simply put, this story was written for entertainment purposes, it should not be seen as a reflection of my values, opinions or morals. I absolutely do not condone such acts.

⤷ Summary | The Moondir, born of the Moon Goddess' love for a wolf, were persecuted and enslaved by humans for merely existing. Moondirian women have been captured and killed in the most heinous ways, men have instead been forced to do dangerous work in place of the humans themselves, and after more than a century, this has virtually brought their race to the brink of extinction. A group of Moondirian rebels have succeeded in their quest to regain their freedom, and not without the use of the crudest violence. Their females are now gone, and it will be human women who will help them repopulate the world.

➢ Author's Note | Hi, guys! ❤️

I apologize for the delay, it's been a really terrible few days and a member of my family has been very sick, anxiety and stress didn't allow me to finish the chapter sooner 🥺😭 Now things are going well and I've found some peace of mind, I really hope you enjoy the chapter and I apologize if you find any mistakes! ❤️ Let me know what you think! I love reading your comments! Thank you so much for your patience and support, I love you 🥰

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Main List - 01 - 02 - 03

“Hoseok told me something interesting, little flower,” Taehyung whispers in your ear, his voice low and rough. The wolf scents of cinnamon and burnt wood, an aroma that confuses you, knocking you out between your broken breaths. “Seokjin seems to have been far too kind to you during your examination” he adds in an insinuating tone, clutching you with one arm as he moves slowly, possessively, between your thighs with his free hand, “What does that mean?”

“Stay away from me, please,” you sob, chasing that hand away; you've already been kissed in a vile way, you can't stand even such a thing.

Hoseok nonchalantly sits in an armchair, following the scene with eyes glittering with interest. Taehyung touches your cheek with his tongue, it's slow and warm, picking up a tear you didn't even know you shed. You stiffen, your lips stretched into a hard line.

“You're so good, I'm almost sorry I scared you so much,” he smiles with a wry tinge in his amber eyes. His lips brush the angle of yours, leaving you with a kiss that tastes more like dirty promises than an apology.

You narrow your eyes, trying to ignore his towering figure holding you captive against him. “You're definitely better than that,” you hiss through clenched teeth. "I'm not going to rebel... I know the only alternative would be to die. But please ... not like this."

It is a gamble to try to reason with him, Taehyung is a beast at its peak, and now that you can think more clearly, you realize that the wolf's body is also shaking, but less noticeably than yours.

He is excited, perhaps from the hunt from which he has just returned. Perhaps because he has not yet had a chance to get rid of the adrenaline burning under his skin. And now... he's trying to dump it on you.

“Why do you persist so much, little flower?” whispers Hoseok in a caressing voice, tilting his head as if genuinely curious. “It's going to happen anyway... why fight anymore?”

Why?

Because you are not ready. Because you are human. Because you have dignity. Because you don't want to break completely.

“Come closer, girl,” he orders, patting his thigh, leaving you speechless.

As if he received the order from his superior, Taehyung lets you go. And maybe it really is an order. Of hierarchy.

“Don't make me say it again,” he warns you, and instinctively you take steps in his direction, "Like this. Good."

You drop onto his legs; he grips your waist with a possessive arm, his touch firm yet charged with a warmth that makes you lose your breath.

“Now, tell me why we shouldn't touch you like this-” his long, light fingers caress your waist in small circles, slowly rising to the round lines of your breasts. You want to scream, but his touch confuses you, destabilizes you.

And you don't know how to respond.

“You...” Hoseok's thumb grazes your lower lip, the words stuck in your throat.

"Tell me. Taehyung and I are listening," at his words you turn to the other wolf, he clutches the back of the sofa tightly, his jaw is contracted and his pupils dilated. What the hell...?

Broken, high-pitched, howl-like moans and stench of dry, ferrous blood.

Seokjin wipes his hands before putting on gloves. The room is almost completely dark, to unnerv the prisoner, but he can comfortably see the workings of his teammates.

Namjoon is finishing wiping on his own jacket the long sharp blade he used to chop off one by one the fingers of the man, who is trembling in shock from his torture. He is bound hand and foot to a chair, his dark, wispy eyes darting from one side of the room to the other, trying to figure out who will be next to make him discover new ways to learn about hell alive.

Namjoon's eyes, blue as a night sky, seem dull and apathetic, but only an hour earlier they looked dreamy as he carved his own initials into the man's forehead, letting a cascade of blood blind him.

“So you're not helping us, Jackie,” complained another - Yoongi - lowering himself to the prisoner's height, "Why are you willing to suffer like this? Hand over the rest of your comrades and I promise to give you a quick death, I might even secure a proper burial for you," he tries to persuade him in a mock sorry tone, but the man categorically shakes his head, before spitting a stream of saliva and blood onto the ground, not far from Yoongi's shiny boots.

The wolf's eyes twinkle with amusement as he observes the result of the gesture, "Hmm. A few days ago another person also spit on me... but she was prettier than you,” he chuckles, then without changing his expression, Yoongi sinks a fist into the man's stomach, who doubles over panting, saliva dripping from his lips, “There, that's how you should salivate."

Seokjin wrinkles his nose slightly, finding that human's swollen face disgusting; he wouldn't even want to touch him to tell the truth.

“He won't talk, Yoongi,” announces a more fluty voice, "At least not for today, let Seokjin nurse him a bit and leave him with his final thoughts. I'm sure Jackie is just as tired as we are."

Jimin keeps his hands in his pockets, in a completely relaxed pose, but his stiff shoulders say more than that. He's just trying to maintain control; he doesn't want to kill another vile human being before he's even obtained valuable information. He has already killed far too many — and he did it mercifully

“I have... begged... the h-high officials to kill you... all,” spits the man with difficulty, “You a-are unclean beasts,” he hisses with blood between his now broken teeth, “From. me. you. will. know. nothing,” he concludes with hatred.

Yoongi watches the man with a distant, bored look, “So... we have nothing more to say to each other, I guess.”

“Yoongi, wait-” interjects Seokjin, irritated. It would be insane to kill the man after hours spent questioning him. Just the idea of having wasted that time sends him out of his mind, but he doesn't have time to say anything else.

A figure moves in the shadows, silent as the night, yet clearly visible.

Then a bubbling sound breaks the air.

The prisoner's throat opens in a sharp, clean cut, as if it were butter.

Jungkook's lilac eyes shine in the half-light. He does not speak. Anger pulses in his tendons, in his hand clenched around the still bloodstained dagger. The prisoner stares at him in shock, but his hands are tied and he cannot see his own end.

Some splashes have stained Yoongi's jacket. He does nothing to clean himself.

"Too late, Jin. Jungkook got tired, too."

“Why do you always have to get in the way, 'Kook?” asks Namjoon with an arched eyebrow. The younger boy replies with a shrug.

“Forget it, he wasn't going to talk anyway” Yoongi stands up, putting his leather gloves back on, Seokjin can swear he sees one of the guards posted at the entrance lift his eyes to the sky, before returning to stare blankly, waiting for more orders.

With a grin he shakes his head, Yoongi is far too permissive with Jungkook and this causes jealousies among the ranks.

“Let's go back to our base,” then Jimin turns to those guards, “Get rid of the body, you can do what you want with it... although I advise against eating it, it may have been poisoned before we found it.”

“If so, then he did a bad job with the doses, considering he's been alive far too long as well,” snorts Namjoon, loading a shotgun on his back that he never part with.

Seokjin begins to retrieve his medical equipment, irritated with his teammates.

"Medicines, bandages... for what? Nothing ever changes," he snorts. "You already know they won't talk anyway. And you already know you will kill them. It's just a waste of time. And of patience. We could almost make it a standard protocol," he concludes sarcastically, making Namjoon chuckle.

“I thought you were happy to practice what you've learned over the years,” he taunts him, causing him to irritate.

"I just wish you could keep your nerve for once, being led by hatred will not help us find all these rats hiding. And Jungkook, I'm talking to you too," he blurts out to the younger man, who rolls his eyes without making a sound, which sends a painful twinge to his chest.

Jungkook is the result of what each of them has experienced in a hundred years.

“Enough discussion, we have more to think about now,” sneers Namjoon, “Or have you all forgotten?”

Yoongi, who up to that moment had been smiling wryly, suddenly loses all expression. A stony silence falls over those present.

Seokjin takes a good look at them, biting his lower lip, “Shit.”

They are unpresentable.

They look like they've just stepped out of a horror movie, amid splashes of blood on their faces and uniforms soaked with sweat and dirt. The chase was particularly bloody; Jackie was simply the last name on an endless list. That's why Seokjin feels so irritated and tired.

“We should clean up and change uniforms, I'm going to-”

“No bullshit,” Yoongi interrupts him, cutting him off. “We'll clean up at home, I have nothing to hide.” He nods to the guards: it's time to move toward the vans.

“I'm tired, I don't feel like making myself look good for a cheap whore,” Jimin blurts out, pulling back a strand of tousled hair before leaving the torture room first, in the building that used to belong to the mayor.

They take different vans, Jimin catches up with Namjoon and Jungkook, who pretend to look out the windows, but their ears are strained, on the other hand, Seokjin is fuming with anger.

He reaches Yoongi in the back seat of the other military van and crosses his legs, crossing his arms like a parent disapproving of a child's choices, "Jimin has to move on. And so do you."

"Are you my psychologist? I'm done with that shit, and Jimin is just fine. You've seen how he works, right? At least those human bastards didn’t turn him into a wimp with all those drugs they were pumping into him," he growls at him.

"I understand you, Yoongi. I know what you've been through, because I've been there myself, but that girl is our only chance for a better future."

“Why her?” he growls, “Why did you choose her?”

Seokjin looks at him in amazement, "Do you think I did that? Yoongi, I have no decision-making power, it's blood that determines matches. Your blood chose her,” he retorts curtly, “You always told me about her father and brother, but never about her... so why do you dislike her so much? She doesn't seem like a bad person."

Yoongi begins to chuckle in response, adjusting his jacket on his chest, “Have you fallen into the trap yet, man?” he teases him, “Don't give her too much rope, that's a poisonous viper.”

“Stop it!” you explode, trying to regain control, "I'm not going to do anything until the doctor gets here! Dr. Oliver said everything will have to be checked before you can do whatever you like."

You finally find an opening to free yourself: you get up from Hoseok almost tripping over your own feet.

Meanwhile, Taehyung has slowly slipped off his jacket, revealing his dirt-stained uniform and... more. Something you refuse to give a name to.

He drops onto the sofa like a dead weight, closing his eyes with a contracted expression.

“Damn... this stuff is stronger than I thought,” he groans against his bent arm, his voice muffled, labored.

Hoseok clenches his jaw, “Then I suggest you go to sleep, joking is one thing, losing control is something else entirely,” he rebukes him, leaving you confused.

Had it all been a game to them so far?

Pieces of shit.

But you don't dare say those words out loud.

The atmosphere is strange, you still have in mind the intense look Taehyung gave you a few moments earlier, it seemed quite animalistic.

“She has no idea what’s going on, does she?” he murmurs, looking sicker.

“Of course not, you've seen for yourself how incapable she is of satisfying a man, she's not that kind,” Hoseok replies in an insinuating tone.

Taehyung lets his gaze slide over you, slow and intrusive.

“She's almost cute, though,” he smiles and your heart does a strange thing, like a somersault that embarrasses you and makes you blush.

“Say that when you find her whimpering on the bed” Hoseok rolls his eyes, at which you flare up.

“You certainly seem to know me,” you reply, almost blowing. Your wry reply draws Taehyung's attention.

“Now who made her angry?”

“I'm not angry” you nip Hoseok's rebuke in the bud, staring him straight in the eye without fear, "I won't cry, I know I'm lucky. Because I can still breathe and talk, don't treat me like a spoiled child, I'm not!"

"You say you're not, but you don't seem to have changed much. You really are a spoiled child."

At the exact instant those words cut through the air, time freezes. Even Hoseok and Taehyung appear surprised.

Suddenly the living room seems to shrink around you. No. It is not possible, he cannot be here.

“I can smell her fear, Celestial Goddess, Yoongi--what did you do to her to make her like this,” laughs another voice, deeper.

It is with fear blocking your throat that you turn your gaze in his direction.

Yoongi is staring at you with a glassy gaze, he might start cutting you down little by little, and he won't lose that composed, relaxed air of his, despite his creased and dirty clothes, perhaps even more than Taehyung's clothes.

Yoongi also returned from a hunt, but his seems to have ended in a more satisfying way. Still, he is not necessarily finished.

Behind him a group of men seem to be just waiting for his order so they can play with you; you recognize two of them. Jimin and Seokjin.

You are not amazed at the man with amber eyes filled with contempt, you realize he is actively working alongside his captain, but Seokjin?

Is he the doctor who is in charge of keeping the prisoners alive so he can calmly interrogate them? Will he also participate in their repopulation project, using you?

He immediately turns his blue eyes away from yours when he notices the wounded light you direct at him.

You don't even know why you are so disappointed in him, you two talked only once and he touched you against your will, but you thought maybe he was different. A little better than his fellow members of... what? Pack?

Next to him you also study the other two wolves, you have never seen them in your life, they are simply terrifyingly beautiful.

The guy with the dark blue eyes is the size of a closet. His black hair - still damp - falls back, uncovering his forehead, and that leaves you with a chance to clearly read the hungry look he is giving you. He scrutinizes you from head to toe and his full lips are bent in a ravenous, smug smile. He looks at you as if you were the hottest thing to ever appear in a room -- but with the same respect that you reserve for a fancy whore. And no, it's not pleasant.

The other has a wilder, almost unkempt look. His brown hair falls over his eyes, a barely concealed lilac glow catches you off guard. Are those really lilac eyes? You stare at him dumbly, and it seems to agitate him in a negative way; he bares his teeth and growls at you, a sound that gets under your skin and causes you to take an instinctive step back. Once again it is Hoseok who holds you still, communicating with his gaze to stay where you are. Then you remember Seokjin's warning: Don't run.

“You have a strange memory of me, captain,” you force yourself to respond somehow, hating the quiver in your voice.

Yoongi's grin deepens, interested.

"Is that what you call me now? You flatter me, Y/N” he tosses his coat to the floor, revealing blood soiling the sleeves of his uniform, and his gloves go the same way, "You used to just call me ‘boy’ " he follows Hoseok's example and pours liquor into a crystal glass, Jimin and Namjoon do the same, and soon the living room is filled with deep voices and the pungent smell of cigars.

Seokjin stows his jacket on a coat rack, turning his nose up at the villanous attitude of his companions, then nods at you, silently asking you to sit in the unoccupied chair. That simple gesture brings you back down to earth, but the tension gripping your throat does not ease.

You move with concern, noticing the two strangers approaching Taehyung, who seems to have taken on a rather bright pink complexion. He seems to be fighting something.

“Maybe you really should go to bed,” offers Hoseok once again, “You look like you're about to give in,” more like a disguised order than advice.

You see Taehyung shake his head firmly, “I want to be there when you decide what to do” his voice is hoarse, fiery. “She is also mine, remember?”

You almost shudder as you moan, but as you sit down on the padded material, Seokjin kneels at your side, taking your wrist between his long fingers. He wants to measure your pulse probably, afraid you will faint at any moment?

"She is no one's. She is only a means to the cause,” Jimin blurts out, his voice as sharp as a blade, “When she finishes what she was chosen for, we won't need her anymore."

His eyes nail you, rabid, as if every word were a verdict already written.

“I wouldn't mind keeping her,” the dark blue-eyed wolf speaks for the first time, revealing an extraordinary deep tone of voice, “It would be a waste to limit yourself to two or three children.”

Jimin looks like he could strike him down in an instant. "Are you really the one saying that? You, who should understand me better than anyone, Namjoon?"

Namjoon. That's what his name is. Now you have a face, a name, and one more enemy.

“Don't get me wrong, Jimin...” he retorts, his tone more serious but far from regretful, "I haven't forgotten who we are. Nor what they have done to us and what we have irretrievably lost. I'm just saying that to throw it away too soon... that would be a waste. They kept us in chains for a whole century. The least would be to return the favor... to the last drop of their lives."

Your stomach contracts.

Your heart sinks into the abyss.

You are at the mercy of seven men who, looking at you, see only the years of imprisonment they have spent.

The only one who has not yet exposed himself with a disgusting and cruel speech is the lilac-eyed wolf; he stands apathetically by Yoongi's side. He doesn't smoke, he doesn't drink, he doesn't talk. He has also lost the spark of anger that you had aroused in him a few moments ago; he looks every bit like a soulless rag doll.

“Would you be so kind as to report all this directly to me?” Seokjin jerks his head up toward you, surprised and startled by your courage.

“How?” asks Hoseok, stinging.

"You heard me. I think I have the right to be considered at least a little by you. It's my body, my womb," something in your words makes Namjoon chuckle in response.

"Haven't you figured that out yet? You no longer have any rights, we are in charge now."

You cast a glance at Seokjin, who reciprocates with an impassive face. He doesn't say it, but he clearly agrees with Namjoon. In this new world, even those who show you some kindness will always think of you as less than nothing. You found this out with Dr. Oliver and now with Seokjin as well.

“So don't go around it anymore, what will happen from now on?” you ask without second thoughts. If you have to comply with their every request in order to survive, so be it.

“Don't you want to fight?” the annoyed tone of Yoongi surprises you a little, does he want you to fight?

Of course. To punish you.

“Would it do any good?” you retort with a sad smile. The captain, in response, casually goes back to drinking, deciding that ignoring you is probably best for everyone. He dismisses you with a look as if you were an annoying detail.

It's going to be a long night.

“You're in your most fertile period, your scent is very strong and affects us, Taehyung is the clearest proof,” Seokjin interrupts the staring contest you and the cold captain put on. An animalistic grunt makes you wince.

"I'm fine. It's bearable," Taehyung swallows,

“Don't bullshit, the room pretty much just smells like her.”

That sentence does not please you at all, "Do you have to be so explicit? It's disgusting," you retort, feeling ashamed just imagining what kind of smell you give off, to be so strong to their noses.

Jimin clicks his teeth in your direction, “It's our nature, show respect.”

"I say we start with the ‘meeting’ so everyone can go to bed and rest. We are all tired here," Hoseok announces, sensing the tension in the air and wrinkling his nose at the unpleasant and far from pleasant smell inside the room. It is animalistic and asphyxiating, acrid like sweat, something forcibly restrained, unlike your own which is simply sublime and is driving him crazy.

You smell of a moonlit night, of breeze brushing the wildflowers and carrying their sweet scent, you smell of freedom and this is undeniable, even to Jimin himself who is forcibly restraining himself from jumping on you.

Hoseok's green eyes shift to Yoongi, his captain appears icy and impassive, but he too is pawing beneath the surface. They haven't been with a woman for a long time, and certainly not by their own choice. To them you're a fucking feast.

Seokjin leaves your side to take a seat next to Taehyung, seeming to want to make sure the other doesn't suddenly go crazy, the empty feeling you feel is uncomfortable, making you uneasy. You feel somehow abandoned.

"Tonight you will just rest, but starting tomorrow our procreation program will begin. To make sure you get pregnant as soon as possible, you will sleep every night with at least one of us. Every morning I will check your health status and your vitals, it will only take me a moment to figure out whether or not you have become pregnant," he explains with his gaze over your shoulder, he is simply pretending to look at you. Something prevents him from meeting your eyes, perhaps something called “pity.”

“So we have to decide our turns, hyung,” nods Namjoon with crossed arms, receiving a nod of assent from the other.

“That's right, but we have to do it according to her needs for the time being,” Seokjin points to you, causing Yoongi to arch an eyebrow.

“What's that supposed to mean?” he asks almost annoyed, “It's our needs that you should put first.”

“And that would be so, in a normal situation,” the doctor takes him back in a harsh voice, “But the human is a virgin and I'm not going to force her to have her first sexual intercourse with someone who terrifies the hell out of her, that would be cruel and counterproductive.”

Embarrassment stains you red from head to toe, you didn't expect Seokjin to shout to the four winds what he found out during the first exam, but this seems to ignite the newcomers with interest.

“What a surprise,” Yoongi sneers wryly, “I thought you finally succumbed to the baker's advances.”

His words wound you. They are a blade that lacerates your heart with impressive ease. That comment comes out of his lips too harsh, too accusatory, and you want to cry, because he knows what really happened and should never have thought of such a thing.

“You yourself know that I have too much pride to give in to the wishes of a man like Evan, but you've probably forgotten,” you reply bitterly, hinting to others that you and Yoongi in the past had more than a master-servant relationship. And you did. There was much more respect between you two than he wants to admit now.

The captain grits his teeth menacingly.

“Be careful how you talk, you insolent little one,” he hisses with a calmness that reeks of malice, “It wouldn't take you long to end up on your knees, polishing my boots with your tongue while one of my brothers takes what he wants from that insulting body of yours.”

“You don't scare me Min Yoongi,” you smile joylessly, “I've seen my family die, nothing impresses me anymore.”

You are clearly lying, but he does not need to know that. It is rather pleasant to see that always mocking face turn granite.

“So that's it, I don't scare you,” he nods apologetically, “Then you won't mind bending over whenever I need to get my dick a little wet,” you stiffen, humiliated and shocked by the ease with which he utters those words, and it is Seokjin who puts a stop to it.

“We're not here to have as much fun as we like, captain,” he announces coldly, “The human will be treated well for easier and faster conception.”

Namjoon snorts in response, “Yeah, yeah... you and your bullshit about a peaceful and healthy environment that will benefit her fertility and other such bullshit.”

“It’s a headache,” moans Taehyung, panting slightly, running a hand through his hair, awkwardly mussing it. Drops of sweat bead his forehead, making him ominously attractive. Like a wolf panting hungrily before his next meal. Averting his eyes before he can meet yours, you wrap your arms around your body and curl up in the chair.

“Each of us will have to spend at least one day a week with her, based also on our schedules clearly,” the doctor continues, “And also based on character aspects to be kept under control,” you see the wolf cast a brief glance at the lilac-eyed boy, who merely grunts, leaving you quite confused. He doesn't seem the least bit interested in you. You hope this is a sign; perhaps you will avoid spending time with that particular wolf, saving you at least some of the misery of sharing your body with strangers.

Finally, Seokjin addresses you directly, "I know how upsetting it all still may seem to you, but you have no other options. I advise you to choose who will be first.”

“It will be an honor,” you reply with a hint of venom and irony in your voice, and you are not surprised to see Jimin instantly stiffen.

"If the idea disgusts you so much, why don't you get yourself disemboweled? Let's get it over with here and now," he growls, not even trying to restrain himself.

For some reason, his outburst pulls a crooked smile from you.

“Or maybe you're the one who's disgusted by me,” you retort calmly, staring at him.

And that's when an idea flashes through your mind. A crazy, twisted and probably self-destructive decision.

You had thought about choosing Seokjin: he was the kindest, the most cautious. But for that very reason... he would be precise, meticulous. He would complete his task and you would probably remember him forever.

No. Better someone who hates you.

A wolf who won't even be able to touch you without vomiting his soul. If he feels disgust enough to back off, he'll be perfect. And even if he manages to go through with it in the end, it will still be such a harrowing experience to forget.

He will be your nightmare, but you will be his.

Sure, you want to survive, but enjoy the touch of a Moondirian?

No. That would be so humiliating that you would wish for death. They may get your body, but not your mind, much less your heart.

“Y/N?” the voice of Seokjin interrupts your silence, you can catch a veil of concern in his tone.

“I’ve decided,” you say, letting your gaze rest on Jimin’s amber eyes. “You’ll be the first.”

Your decision seems to shock everyone present, Taehyung's eyes are so wide that he finally bursts into laughter  — a sound closer to a howl — while Seokjin shakes his head slightly, as if to disapprove of what you have just said.

But it is Yoongi's somber expression that makes you tremble slightly; the captain leaves his seat silently, passes his glass to the lilac-eyed boy, and leaves the room without a word, while Jimin almost seems to be foaming with anger.

“Bitch” is all he manages to snarl, before he strides past you with heavy footsteps, leaving a trail of light scent behind him, orange blossom and amber.

“Are you sure?” the voice of Hoseok sounds hoarse, as if moved by a subtle anger that he refuses to show.

“It's a duty, not a pleasure,” you reply harshly, not at all regretting that you just scored your first time.

“The fact that he hates you won't stop Jimin, he'll take what he has to take and he'll do it regardless,” Namjoon warns you with a strange seriousness. After all, he was the one who called you an object in the first place, “He is going through a delicate moment and his wolf isn't well.”

His wolf?

“I'll survive,” you smile without happiness, “That's all that matters to me.”

The room to which Seokjin took you immediately afterwards is dark and cold. It lacks an abat-jour and even a candle to be able to light the bare room, but you certainly cannot complain after the corpses you saw scattered throughout the houses in the neighborhood where you lived. Humans had used fairy magic to keep some of their settlements hidden, but all it took was for one person to know the location on the map to render all efforts in vain. You don't even know why Yoongi didn't raze everything right away; perhaps he had simply taken his time to make you and your family tremble with fear.

Yoongi.

That look before he left the living room still gives you chills when you think back on it. You didn't really mean to incur his wrath, but you felt like a cockroach in front of him and reacted by provoking him as a defense and using Jimin as a resource, probably one of the fiercest wolves in the house.

One who would not think twice about opening your throat from side to side.

You've ruined yourself with your own hands, even Seokjin and Hoseok seemed irritated by your stupid decision, but there's no turning back now.

You tighten the blankets on yourself, moaning a little at the cold, your eyes now accustomed to the absence of light scanning the room shrouded in silence, unable to rest. A grip of anxiety squeezes your chest, stirring your poor, already battered heart, a bad feeling rages against your body, trying to rebel against the new plan that is now your life.

You could escape now.

The window isn’t sealed, and with all the blankets and sheets in the room, you could make a rope long enough to climb down.

You grit your teeth, shaking your head. Even if you made it over that first hurdle, it wouldn't take long for the wolves of Moondir to track you down and - in all probability - punish you. You let go a deep breath filled with frustration.

“What are you thinking so hard about, baby doll?”

Before you can scream, a hand presses against your lips contracted in surprise, as a wave of cinnamon and burnt wood hits you, leaving you breathless. A hot body in the prime of its masculinity trembles on you, the man sighs against your ear, and you finally recognize him. Taehyung.

His heated skin dampens the sweater you found inside the closet and decided to use for sleeping, but he has lost the sour smell of sweat and blood. Suddenly you no longer feel cold with your back resting against his bare chest, but agitation makes your temples throb.

“Promise not to scream, and I'll leave you free to talk,” he whispers, brushing the line of your neck with the tip of his nose. You squint, a slight moisture wetting your eyelashes as you nod.

When the weight of his hand lifts you exhale, flustered.

“You can't be here,” you warn him, aiming your wide-open eyes at the closed door. When and how did he enter? Seokjin locked that door to keep you from leaving... and maybe even to keep them from entering.

“I can't stay away from you,” he moans against your neck, his arms tightened around your legs, holding you tighter to his incandescent body. It makes you feel tiny, helpless, “It's all fucking fire, and your scent only makes it worse,” he confesses with his lips now pressed against your shoulder, a strange sensation pooling in the center of your chest.

“Have you tried... a cool shower?” you stammer, panic-stricken.

Shit. What the fuck are you thinking of telling him!

His low, rough laugh immobilizes you.

“I've done three, baby doll,” he forces you to turn away, holding your chin between forefinger and thumb. “But it only gets better when I can touch you,” he hisses, his half-closed amber eyes shining brightly in the dark with an almost frightening intensity.

“You have a fever,” you murmur as you slowly lift a hand, your fingers brushing his sweat-soaked forehead. His hair drips to his temples, and even without a crisp light, you know his face is flushed. But this is no ordinary fever: he is delirious.

“I've had it ever since the wolf smelled you in the house,” he laughs softly, brushing your neck with his nose, almost obsessed with that spot.

“The... wolf?” you ask, trying to keep your wits about you as he comes dangerously close. You need to distract him, and talking seems the only way.

“Mh-mh,” he murmurs, hugging you tightly, sinking his face between your breasts. He vibrates as if purring, making you blush to your ears. “He likes you, baby doll -- and I like you, too.”

You swallow, gritting your teeth.

"You should have Seokjin examine you. He would know how to help you," you suggest, trying to shake him gently, without provoking him. But your suggestion makes him stiffen.

“I don't want to,” he hisses hoarsely, lifting his gaze to you again, “I don't want those fucking suppressors,” and something tells you he wants you.

You squint, you have to play your cards right if you want to survive. Getting fucked by a wolf in heat and probably out of control doesn't seem to be a good thing, but he certainly won't leave without getting something first.

“You're in heat, am I right?” you ask him bluntly, causing him to grunt in assent, “Humans like me don't go into heat, I don't even know how it works for you” you explain calmly, “So I can't really help you that way.”

"Especially since you chose to give yourself to Jimin, am I right?” he snaps venomously into your ear, “I hope you know what you’re doing” his fingers slide down your back as if trying to find a spot to let go, but they stop halfway, hesitating. The way he's trying to hold back is really admirable.

“I'd still like to help you,” you reply, deciding to ignore his last insinuations, “Just tell me how.”

“You don't understand... it's a need to bite and brand while-”

A quiver shakes his heated body as a stifled yelp escapes his lips, now pressed against your chest in a desperate attempt at self-control. His body heat is pleasant and wrong; you should not rejoice in it.

“Give me your wrist,” he growls, his voice low and strained like a rope about to snap, “And don't move for any reason, if you do I won't be limited to just that anymore,” the warning in his tone petrifies you, but you do as he says.

He presses his thumb against the thin skin of your wrist, listens as if hypnotized to every reverberation of your frantic pulse, and leaves a kiss on it. It is slow and hot, and against your will a pleasant tingle builds up in your lower abdomen, you try to chase that feeling away, but the sensation of his teeth sinking into your skin just enough to leave a mark makes you moan slightly, undecided whether to find it pleasurable or annoying.

Taehyung moves against your body, licking away a few drops of your blood. He concentrates with the tip of his tongue on the tiny little holes his fangs have left, before reaching out toward you with a new hunger etched into his savage features. The charcoal that circles his eyes darkens his already dangerous gaze, leaving you breathless.

“I can't wait to catch you, baby doll,” he sighs on your lips, the fever does not seem to have gone away but there is a new awareness that seems to have calmed his wolf, “You have been very good to me, I promise I will be generous,” he whispers, kissing the angle of your mouth softly, before retreating.

“Good night,” he wishes you, leaving you shocked.

What the hell just happened? Now that the cold has returned to the room, you finally realize that you have been at the mercy of a wolf for indefinite moments.

[bucketsp]

pazzi - best friends but real lovey dovey on each other and paige does anything azzi wants her to do in front of their teamates

the space between us

pairing : pazzi

content : fluff, slightt angst (friends to lovers, mutual pining)

a/n : thank you anon for this request 🙏 i changed it up a little bit, but i hope you still loveee. also based it off of 23 - 24 roster because i miss niknik and lili. thank you as well for the support on snow day and repped, if you haven't read those, maybe u should? please remember this is all fiction. enjoy reading!

-------------------------------------------------------------

from the day they met, it was always something a little more with them.

like the way azzi would ask, “can i sit here?” on every away-game bus ride, even though paige always saved her the window seat.

or the quiet, “can i have a sip?” as she reached for paige’s water bottle mid-practice. and paige never said no, she never even blinked.

they were best friends. that’s what they told everyone.

but best friends didn’t flirt like that, didn’t look at each other like this, didn’t act like it had always been them, a team of two, orbiting each other, no one else getting close enough to matter.

they didn’t need to say it out loud.

they had each other. and that was enough.

until it wasn’t.

it started with azzi spending more time with this girl from the track team. bree. funny, loud, magnetic in a way that drew people in. she was the kind of person who never hesitated, especially with azzi when she asked her out right at the door of the champions center, handed her a smoothie and said, “you free friday?”

paige saw it from across the court, of course. yet all she did was watch azzi smile back and say yes.

and something in her chest cracked open, soft and sharp at the same time.

not because she was jealous, not exactly. she was happy for her, but because suddenly she wasn’t the first one azzi told about her day, and suddenly the pre-practice routines were off, the stolen glances in the locker room or the shared inside jokes as the team was being told off by geno.

and paige didn’t know what to do with that.

so she did nothing.

-------------------------------------------------------------

practice the next day was tense. azzi kept looking at paige like she wanted to say something. paige kept pretending not to see it.

and then, during a full-court drill, paige fumbled a pass and muttered under her breath.

azzi jogged over, concern on her face. “you okay?”

“i’m fine,” paige said, too quickly. “you don’t have to check on me.”

“what does that mean?”

“nothing"

“paige.."

“just go, az.”

the silence that followed was deafening.

-------------------------------------------------------------

they didn’t talk for two days.

paige stayed late in the gym, long after everyone else had left. it was easier to be around ghosts than to look azzi in the eye and feel that ache in her chest grow stronger.

until friday night, when azzi walked in just as paige was lining up a free throw. she didn’t say anything, just caught the ball on the rebound and passed it back.

paige stared at her.

azzi crossed her arms. “you’ve been avoiding me"

paige swallowed. “i’ve been busy, march madness is coming up”

“you’ve been hiding"

a beat.

“maybe.”

“why?”

paige was silent. she caught the ball again, dribbled once. twice. then let it fall.

-------------------------------------------------------------

it starts at ted’s.

because it always does. late-night runs after big games, when the adrenaline’s still in their veins and no one wants to go back to their dorm just yet. it’s loud inside, a little sticky, the lights a shade too bright, but it feels like home. like uconn tradition.

paige sits in the corner booth with azzi pressed in beside her. her thigh is warm against paige’s. her hair’s tied back, but a few loose strands fall forward, and paige has to grip her root beer float like it’s keeping her alive.

they’re not talking. not really. just sitting in that kind of silence that’s not awkward, but heavy. azzi’s bouncing her knee. paige keeps glancing at her. she looks nervous. too quiet, too still in the wrong ways.

"paige,"

and even before paige could even look directly at her azzi's already leaning in.

slow.

intentional.

her hand brushes against paige’s jaw like a whisper.

and then she kisses her.

it’s soft. hesitant. it tastes like cherry coke and something sweeter. like hope.

and paige, she’s waited forever for this, dreamed of it, begged for it in silence.

but she pulls back.

just an inch. just enough.

"azzi, stop. you're drunk"

“i'm not, paige.”

paige tenses. "you are, what happened to bree?"

azzi looks down, then back at her. her eyes are clearer than they should be, considering how many fries she just devoured. “i have to tell you something.”

paige stiffens. her hands go cold, but she feels a little hope inside her.

“i never told you,” azzi’s voice doesn’t waver. “we broke up.”

paige’s heart stutters. “when?”

“a week ago.”

“why didn’t you say anything?”

azzi lets out a breath. “because i didn’t want to lie to you about why. or pretend like it didn’t matter when it did.”

paige stays quiet, letting her talk.

“she cheated on me,” azzi says flatly. “with some guy from the LSU football team. i found out the day after that scrimmage. i didn’t tell anyone.”

paige stares. “what?”

azzi shrugs, like it’s nothing. like it’s old news even though it’s clearly not. “i think part of me already knew. not about the guy. just… that she wasn’t the person i wanted to tell good things to. not anymore.”

and then she looks at paige.

really looks at her.

“you were.”

paige swallows. hard. her throat feels too tight. the air’s too heavy.

“you always were,” azzi adds.

paige’s eyes flutter shut. “then why’d you pick her?”

“because you scared the shit out of me,” azzi says. “and because i thought i had more time.”

it’s not perfect. it’s not a line. it’s just true.

“you’re sure?” she asks. “this isn’t about bree?”

azzi shakes her head immediately. “this has never been about bree. not even once.”

“she cheated on you.”

“and you stayed,” azzi says. “even when i made it impossible.”

paige covers her eyes. her voice cracks when she speaks.

“you don’t get to kiss me if you’re not sure.”

“i’m sure,” azzi says.

and this time when she kisses her, it’s different.

hungrier, deeper, like nothing else mattered.

and paige kisses back like she’s drowning. like she finally found the surface.

they don’t even notice kk standing there with her milkshake in hand, eyes wide as saucers.

not until kk blurts, “HOLY SHIT.”

paige freezes. azzi jumps a little, lips still inches from paige’s.

then the rest of the team explodes.

“FINALLY,” aaliyah yells from a booth behind them.

“i knew it,” nika says, pointing her fry at aubrey like she won a bet.

“i had money on them making out before the tournament,” ice mutters.

“you owe me twenty,” aubrey says smugly.

kk just stares. “yo. that was kinda hot.”

paige groans, hiding her face in azzi’s shoulder. azzi’s laughing now, full and free, her arm curling around paige’s waist like it’s always belonged there.

“i guess this means it’s official?” aaliyah calls out.

azzi grins, loud enough for everyone to hear.

“yeah. it’s official.”

and paige, with her heart finally whole in her chest, just nods.

“took you long enough,” nika says.

but paige doesn’t care.

because azzi’s still holding her hand under the table.

and this time, she’s not letting go.

[npookie0]

HUEHHEE HELLO DEAR MOOTIEEEE I've come for the saja boys x chronically Ill reader!! Orrr a poc reader if ya want! (≡^∇^≡) lowkey self indulgent but your writing is so yummy 💔

Demonic Care

A lover boy has to take care of his chronically ill partner and cheer them up. Which Saja Boy will be the most helpful?

contains: reader with pots, very headcanony personalities for the saja boys, these are going to be drabbles </3

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Heads up, I'll say the short version of what kind of people are the saja boys to me

Romance - hopeless romantic, easily smitten with people, flirt, that man is a total fool when he's in love I fear </3

Abby - high ego, very (almost over) confident, kind of stupid but a lil sweet (and cocky) jock type of guy

Mystery - quiet, but expresses himself through body language and in music, closed off and very short social battery

Baby - cunning, cocky, chill unbothered king, childlish

Jinu - a leader by nature, silly dude (please that man made a choice when running and giggling like that...), you know that he means it when he's not doing something for his own benefit, understanding, but also a liar </3

Jinu

words [ 412 ]

The Saja Boys concert was close to wrapping up, the boys had to sing the fan favourite song, say their goodbye and leave. The atmosphere was warm, energetic. Fans were shouting, singing along, waving their light sticks and recording the stage.

You stood between the fans, in the first row, holding the railings with your hands. Your body grown tired over time, you stood for far too long, you were close to passing out. But you had to be there, had to see the concert from the stands.

You couldn't just sit on backstage and watch the boys perform in front of the whole crowd when you had the chance to watch Jinu's face in full view from where you stood now.

The concert came to an end and the Saja's manager came up to you to help you get backstage. You told them that you don't need a whole escort, but their response was "Jinu asked me to do it, I couldn't say no." You sighed and nodded in understanding.

"Hey aegiya!" Suddenly someone hugged you from behind once you were in the boys band's lounge area .

"Ugh, Jinu~! You started me." You replied and turned around, freeing yourself from your boyfriend's embrace.

"Haha sorry, sorry." He replied, scratching the back of his neck and laughing awkwardly. "Oh jeez, you look pale. You should sit down."

You couldn't protest, because soon your darling boyfriend sat you down on the sofa and told one of the other boys to go grab you some water.

"Jinu, I'm okay, I promise." You said, but he clearly wasn't buying it and maybe he was in the right this time. Your vision went black for a second and it take a bit to go back to normal.

He crossed his arms. "Mmm, no, I'm not buying that. I saw you in the crowd, you looked like you would faint in any moment." He exhaled and crouched in front of you. "Listen, I know that you want to be everything to support you, but please don't just throw yourself into a potentially dangerous situation for you."

You looked away. "Sorry Jinu, you''re right... I guess." You looked back at him. "I didn't mean to stress you more."

He chuckled and brushed a strand of hair away from your face. "It's okay, just be careful, yeah?" He ruffled your hair and stood up. "Let's go home, Abby found some movie he wants to watch and you're invited too."

Romance

words [ 446 ]

The last thing you remember before fainting was Romance's panicked face when he caught you, then you lost consciousness. You didn't know how much time exactly passed between your collapsing and Romance getting you back to your apartament, but after regained consciousness saw Romance holding your hand to his forehead and murmuring to himself.

"Hey, no need to summon anything for me to wake up, stupid."

When you said these words Romance immediately looked up and practically crushed you with his body when he hugged you. "Jagiya! I'm glad that you're okay. You were out for so long." He said and before you could answer, he suddenly pulled away. "Do you need anything? Water, food, medicine?"

You looked at him a little stunned and then you started giggling, Romance titled his head, confused, but relieved that you felt well enough to laugh.

"What's so funny, jagiya?" He asked, leaning closer to you.

You took a while to answer, your laughter made it impossible. "You remind me of a puppy Romy." You giggled when you imagined him with dog ears.

"A puppy, huh? Well, maybe I'm a lovesick puppy for you, baby." He kissed you, but before you could kiss him back, he stood up, a smirk spread across his face when he saw your pout. "Ah, we can kiss later, now we need to take care of you. I was really scared when you waited so suddenly in the store."

"Boohoo, I want kisses now." You stood up from the bed very slowly, leaning on the wall in front of you when the black spots started showing in your vision.

Romance noticed it and was quick to your side, holding you by back and hand in case you fainted again. "Okay, let's go slowly. No need to rush." He said and slowly guided you to the kitchen.

You sat down on a chair in your kitchen and watch as Romance poured you water. "Drink up, you need it." He said, placing the glass in front of you.

You picked it up. "Thank you mr. specialist of human health." You said teasingly, looking at the patterns on his arm and drank the whole glass at once, you were really thirsty.

"Maybe I'm a demon, but I was a human before if you forgot." He huffed. "You're lucky I love you, you silly human."

"I think it's the other way around, but let it be your way." You stuck out your tongue at him.

"Oh, look who's feeling like a little tease after their fainted at my dance practice."

"Oh, shut up and give me more water."

He smirked proudly. "See? I told you that you'd need water."

Abby

words [ 552 ]

You were in the dance practice room, dancing to Soda Pop all alone. You knew that you shouldn't do it, not with the danger of fainting because you're straining your body. You should at least wait for Abby to wake up and watch over you. But you had to dance, this was one of your biggest passions in the past. It wasn't just a hobby, it was your career, your everything.

And now?

You could barely stand for longer than ten minutes without people fussing over you collapsing, you had to stand up slowly or you'll feel dizzy, your heart hurt from how fast it beat.

You hated this, hated this turn your life took. Hated how sad and colorless it became. But then, you heard that annoyingly catchy song one day and bumped into an extremely egoistical boys band member. You met your current boyfriend, Abby.

He was the most self confident person you've ever met, but you had to admit that in all his self love he was right. Fortunately, there was more to him than his muscles, voice and high ego. Abby proved himself to be most devoted, loving and a tiny bit stupid, boyfriend ever.

He didn't make a big fuss out of your pots, when you were feeling particularly weak he would give you piggy back rides and say "I'm jus' showing off my strength, it's not cause you feel bad or anything." And you were thankful for it.

Though he still wasn't so fond of you dancing. He tried his best not to show it so you wouldn't feel like even he sees you just for your illness.

That's why you were dancing in secret, trying to go back to normal in any way, maybe your career was over, but you could still try to do it as your hobby from time to time.

"Take a big bite, want another bite, yeah"

You froze when you heard Abby's singing right next to you. You turned you head to the side and there he was, wearing nothing but his pyjama sweatpants and slippers, he was dancing to the choreography.

"Why'd ya stop? It's not like we're doing anything bad." He said with a wink.

You paused the song and looked at him in confusion. "You won't stop me?"

"Nah, there's no point in stopping you now, aein. You've been sneaking out to dance for a while and you would do it again if I tried."

So he knew...

You felt embarrassed after being found out, you never wished for him to know that.

"Hey." He titled your head up and looked into your eyes. "It's okay if you want to dance, I would never stop you, not like you would let me anyway." He chuckled. "You're feisty, like a tiger. I love that about you, but please just tell me that you want to dance and I'd dance with you." He caressed your cheek with his thumb. "I may not be super great about this comfort thing or taking care of someone, but I know that you're ill and I don't want something to happen to you while I'm asleep." His serious expression was soon replaced by a cheerful beam.

"Now, let's continue. It's not every day that you have a one-on-one dance session with Abby Saja."

Mystery

words [ 495 ]

You were looking through the lipsticks that Olive Young had in its offer, you had to find cosmetics for the Saja Boys to use now that they had their rebrand from cute songs to more darker ones.

Ever since performing Your Idol after the Idol Awards, they decided that it was the vibe they want to go into and you, as their biggest supporter, stylist and almost a manager, said that it may be a good idea.

So now, you were on make up supplies duty, guarded by your boyfriend, Mystery, in case your illness was triggered and you would feel worse because of walking and standing for too long.

Though you mostly agreed on Myst going with you because you needed someone to carry your bags.

"Hmm, Myst~, come here." You quietly called out for him to get to your side.

"What is it?" He replied, but instead of giving him an answer you gently grabbed him by his chin with one hand and with the other you applied black lipstick to his lips.

"Hm. Yeah I guess this one will work." You murmured to yourself. "We'll grab five of these and then we'll look at the eyeshadows here." You announced, though it was still mostly a note to yourself. You put the five lipsticks to the basket and turned around to go to the alley with eyeshadows.

You didn't notice that your body grew weaker after a few hours of walking, not until you turned around way too fast and almost fell on a shelf because you started to feel dizzy, if it wasn't for mystery catching you it would be over for you.

"Nae sarang, be careful." He said, keeping you steady with his arm wrapped around your waist.

You looked up at him and blinked a few times until your vision was back to normal. "Ah, sorry Mysty, I think I overdid myself today haha." You leaned your forehead against his shoulder.

Your exhaustion gotten back to you, your legs felt unsteady and your mind was still dizzy from all that walking.

"Oh, come with me." Mystery said suddenly.

"Hm?"

He didn't answer, which wasn't that surprising, he had a tendency to speak only in short sentences or not speak at all unless he had to. That's why he got the name he has, you supposed.

"Here." He said and guided you to sit down on a fluffy seat in the corner of the store.

"But what about our shopping? I can't do it if I sit here." You said and tugged on the fabric of his blazer.

"You said that you wanted all of us to have dark purple eye shadow right?" He asked and you nodded in answer. "I will get you dark purple eye shadow, so just rest. Please."

You sighed. You couldn't fight him when his voice was so soft and calming. "Okay, just mind the prices." You replied after pondering on the idea for a second.

Baby

words [ 493 ]

"Baby I told you that I'm fine." You groaned when your beloved demonic boyfriend sat you down on the sofa.

You just came back from the aquarium and even with how fun it was, it involved a lot of walking and standing and with your condition it was a very challenging activity to go through.

So now, after returning home, your boyfriend who just a moment ago was chasing fish and begging you to let him feed one, now was forcing you to sit down.

"Nuh uh, we've been walking for two hours." He crossed his arms over his chest.

"Yeah, well I won't always end up fainting."

"You felt dizzy, idiot." He poked your forehead and sat down on the sofa next to you. "And besides, you promised me that you'd watch a movie with me."

"Ugh, I did?"

"Yup, you said that you would if I did a solo cover os Soda Pop and upload it, I did." He said with a grimace of his face at the mention of singing Soda Pop alone.

You chuckled. "Ah right, that. Alright. Let me go grab something to snack on then and we can-" You couldn't even stand up because Baby pushed you back down onto the sofa.

"No, no, no. You sit, I grab snacks."

And like that he went to the kitchen, you rolled your eyes and only shouted to him to bring you your favourite snack and grabbed the remote.

While you were scrolling through the streaming service, Baby came back with a tray of snacks and drinks. Most of them were sweets.

"Will you at least be so gracious to share some with me?" You asked, raising an eyebrow, amused by the sight of Baby having to stop himself from eating everything at once.

He turned to look at you. "I guess I can share some, I heard that sugar is good for giving energy or something."

"It is and isn't, but thanks for the thought." You smiled and moved closer to him.

"So what are we watching?' You asked after a while of scrolling through the animation and cartoons category.

"Something about fish." He said and opened a pack of gummy bears.

You giggled. "Oh god, you really are obsessed with fish. Okay then, Finding Nemo it is." You picked the movie and clicked play.

You two watched the movie in silence, until you broke it.

"Hey, Baby?"

"Hm? What's up Yeobo?" He asked, his eyes not moving from the TV screen.

"Thanks for looking out for me. it means a lot, even if I'm not the best at showing it." You said, fidgeting with your soda can.

He turned away from the screen, looking at you with slightly parted lips. "Oh, um, yeah no problem. I'm just trying to stop ya from fainting, y'know." He mumbled and looked back at the TV, though you saw that blush on his cheeks even if he tried to hide it.

Second Kpop Demon Hunters work done!

Wahh these stupid guys excite me >w< but I would love some Huntr/x asks too ;)

See you soon my KDH readers I gotta feed my other readers too <3

(play Killer Chat!, gluttony gods or seraphim slum if you're interested in the other stories I post here <3)

Nathan

[nerinna]

So much of this is oversimplified, with no academic or epistemic rigor and it applies modern identity categories retroactively

1. Kharis: Reciprocity as transaction

“Arguably the most important aspect of Hellenic Polytheism is that when you ask something of a deity, you must give an offering in return…”

Kharis does indeed refer to a kind of reciprocal favor or grace between mortals and gods, rooted in the gift economy and ritualized reciprocity. This is supported by Homer and Hesiod.

But it reduces kharis to a tit-for-tat exchange, flattening ancient religious practice into a cosmic vending machine model. Kharis is part of maintaining cosmic and civic order (eusebeia, piety), not just getting personal profit. This echoes Christian prayer logic and omits the civic, aesthetic, and communal aspects of Greek ritual, not just the personal-ask economy.

Xenia

“The idea that any stranger could be a god in disguise…”

Myths like Baucis and Philemon do tell us gods can take the form of a mortal and punish those who don't offer hospitality, but it was never a literal doctrinal belief. It’s symbolic. It expresses the moral principle that hospitality is sacred, not that you should fearfully treat everyone well "just in case" they’re a god.

Again, the phrasing turns it into magical thinking or surveillance-based morality, which leans more Puritan or Christian than Hellenic. Historically, it was about maintaining honor and mutual bonds, not divinity-testing.

Patron deities

“If part of your identity comes under the domain of a deity, then that deity is your patron… this includes trans women…”

Ancient Greeks did associate gods with domains, but the term “patron deity” and the identity-alignment model is modern. Ancient Greeks didn’t typically speak of “having a patron god” in the personal, identity-based way it's implied here

UPG as valid because we lost sources

“I think UPG is really valid, considering a lot of things are unknown…”

This stance collapses UPG into epistemic authority, which is dangerous for people seeking integrity and groundedness. It gives permission to float off into aestheticized fantasy under the guise of reverence.

Much of ancient religion is indeed fragmentary, but personal gnosis must be done carefully and humbly. Absence of evidence isn't permission to invent. Just because we lack a source doesn’t mean we can fill it with whatever feels meaningful.

UPG is not invalid, but it should be clearly marked as personal, not historical, it shouldn’t be used to justify practices or beliefs as historically accurate, it shouldn’t be assumed to hold equal weight as archaeological, textual, or ritual evidence.

If you're new

Use primary sources to understand the original context (Homer, Hesiod, tragedies, Plato, Pausanias)

Read serious scholars: Walter Burkert, Robert Parker, Fritz Graf, Sarah Iles Johnston, Angelos Chaniotis.

Don't use Tumblr, tiktok or social media as a source, not even me

Beginner’s Guide to Hellenic Polytheism

I KNOW this is a really long post but my intention was to just note down everything that I think is important for beginners and that’s A LOT. It took me forever to learn some of these things but they’re so important, so buckle in. I hope this helps some people.

If I’ve missed anything, please feel free to let me know what you’d like me to add. I’ve been working on this for two days, so if there are typos, I’m so sorry.

The sections I cover here are key terms, mythic literalism, deity work vs deity worship, FAQs and General Advice.

Some Key Terms

Hellenic Polytheism: Hellenic means Greek, and Polytheism means worshipping multiple gods. So, Hellenic Polytheism is the worship of the Greek Pantheon which is also referred to as the Theoi. The people who practice could be referred to as Hellenic Polytheists. Some also call themselves Hellenic Pagans, but not all people who practice Hellenic Polytheism consider themselves pagan.

Hellenistic: you may see the term ‘Hellenistic Polytheism’, but this is my PSA to ask people not to use that, as it’s incorrect. Hellenistic refers to a specific period of Andient Greece, from 323-32 BC, and your worship is almost definitely not specifically focused on that period. Additionally, here is a post by a Greek person on why ‘Hellenism’ and ‘hellenismos’ are disrespectful.

Ouranic: this is the term for the heavenly gods. Be aware that there is some overlap between Ouranic and Chthonic deities. Whether a deity is Ouranic or Chthonic will effect things like prayer position (palms up for Ouranic) and whether offerings can be eaten or drank (yes for Ouranic)

Chthonic: this is the term for the underworld gods. Be aware that there is some overlap between Ouranic and Chthonic deities. Whether a deity is Ouranic or Chthonic will effect things like prayer position (palms down for Chthonic) and whether offerings can be eaten or drank (no for Chthonic) side note - when it comes to hero worship, I personally treat them as if they’re chthonic.

Kharis: this means reciprocity, and also refers to the relationship formed between us and the gods. Arguably the most important aspect of Hellenic Polytheism is that when you ask something of a deity, you must give an offering in return. Size of what you’re asking for should correspond to size of the offering, or if you’ve given many little offerings without asking for anything you can use that as why you should be given the Big Thing.

Xenia: guest-friendship, hospitality. The idea that any stranger could be a God in disguise, so treat everyone respectfully. It’s an Ancient Greek social custom that a lot of Hellenic Polytheists see as important today. Simply put, in modern times this most often just means being kind to strangers. There’s a lot more to it than that though, so look here. Know that Xenia is a two-way thing, so you have to be generous to your guests but they must also respect your home.

Eusebeia: basically, piety. Respecting the Gods. This is really the only ‘rule’ of Hellenic polytheism. There’ll be different ideas of what is considered respectful, but as long as you have good intentions and don’t do anything you KNOW would be offensive, you’re okay. Don’t insult the gods (any of them), don’t ask for anything without offering something else, and don’t treat yourself as equal to or higher than the theoi.

Hubris: excessive pride or dangerous overconfidence, often the fatal flaw of a lot of Greek heroes in mythology. Specifically, this is when you act better than or equal to the gods. You are not.

Libations: a type of offering, in the form of a liquid. Usually poured on the ground but can be drank (unless it’s to a chthonic deity) if you’re a closeted Hellenic polytheist who can’t just pour some liquid on the floor every time you want to offer it. My advice for food offerings/libations to chthonic deities if you’re not openly a hellenist is to offer leftovers, rotting food, or something you otherwise know will go to waste.

Altar: traditionally a place used to put physical offerings and food offerings for deities. Some people have an altar to each deity, some people have one altar for all their deities. These can be as big or as small as you want. People may use shelves, drawers, boxes, windowsills, etc, and I don’t even use mine for food offerings, only for physical ones because I usually eat the food offering (I don’t like the idea of wasting food). My altars also just serve as a dedicated space for that deity in my life.

Hero worship: this is the worship of ‘heroes’ in Greek mythology, which includes literally any mortal. For example, I worship Odysseus of Ithaca, Penelope of Ithaca, Helen of Sparta, and Tiresias of Thebes. I’ve been asked a lot about how hero worship differs from deity worship, and you can find that answer here.

Devotee: there is a lot of disagreement on what the difference between a devotee and worshipper is, but for me, I’m devoted to Athena as I feel I have the closest bond with Her of all my deities and I honour Her the most. This partly comes from my feeling that She has been with me for much longer than I’ve been aware of Her presence, and that also so much of who I am and what I value comes under Her domains.

Patron: this basically means that if part of your identity comes under the domain of a deity, then that deity is your patron. There can be occupational patrons (like Hermes is the patron of merchants) or to do with things like gender (Hera is a patron for women. Yes this includes trans women, transphobes are not welcome here.) You can have more than one patron, and you don’t need to worship all of the deities who would be considered your patron.

Epithets: these are titles given to deities. There are two types - cult epithets, which describe the aspect of a deity you’re focusing on (like Athena Ageleia, meaning ‘Protector of the People’) since they have a lot of domains and it’s important in prayers to specify what you want. Then there’s poetic epithets, which are adjectives, often used to compliment a deity. I like using these to make my prayers seem more sophisticated to be honest (example: white-armed Hera)

Unverified Personal Gnosis: gnosis is spiritual knowledge. If it’s unverified, that means that it has no basis in historical sources as far as the person is aware, and they don’t know anybody else who has the same experience. You will often see this abbreviated as UPG. Personally, I think UPG is really valid, considering a lot of things are unknown to us due to the loss of sources overtime.

Shared Personal Gnosis: gnosis is spiritual knowledge. Like UPG, Shared Personal Gnosis (often abbreviated as SPG) doesn’t have any historical backing as far as the people who believe it are aware, but it is shared by multiple different people and therefore seen by some as more valid than UPG (though I’d argue that all SPG is UPG before you know that other people agree)

Verified Personal Gnosis: gnosis is spiritual knowledge. It being verified means that there are historical sources to back up the belief, and this is commonly abbreviated to VPG. You are more likely to come across the terms UPG than SPG or VPG, and most of what Helpol people on tumblr discuss is UPG, even if they don’t state that directly.

Reconstructionist: these are people who try to ‘reconstruct’ the ancient religion, recreating ancient rituals as best they can and doing things as close as they can get to how the ancient Greeks did based on our historical sources. An important note here is that we will never be able to do this perfectly and that’s okay. When it comes to things like animal sacrifices, most of us outside of agricultural areas almost definitely don’t have the means to be doing that properly, but you can use symbolism in place of a real animal, an example an anon gave me is cutting bread into animal shapes

Revivalist: these are people who try to recreate the ‘spirit’ of the religion, though not with the exact practices that the Ancient Greeks used. Revivalists are more concerned with the values and beliefs of the ancient religion than they necessarily are with how it was practiced. I personally feel like I fall somewhere between the two, but I also think both are really valid!

Mythic Literalism

Mythic Literalism is the debate in modern Hellenic Polytheism about whether or not the myths should be taken literally — and it’s common in Helpol spades online to say that the answer is ‘no, they’re metaphorical’. But I’d actually argue that they are.

Think of the Epics like the Iliad and the Odyssey — these begin with invoking the muses, goddess of inspiration said to have perfect memory. These goddesses know every event that has ever happened and are believed to guide and speak through the poets as they recite the myths, which means that they would be reciting history. That suggests the myths happened.

This isn’t ignoring the fact there are cultural reasons behind the myths and that parts of exist to them fulfil specific functions of that god or have parts of the world that they’re trying to explain.

For example, the myth of Hades kidnapping Persephone fulfils an aspect of Hades and has a cultural aspect about marriage in Ancient Greek society. First, it’s one of the myths we have of a youth being taken too soon by death (think Apollo and Hyacinthus, Zeus and Ganymedes, Thetis and Achilles, maybe even Castor and Pollux) and the grief that causes, Hades role being of the underworld. But also in terms of Greek society it was reflective of mothers losing their daughters to marriage, too. Both these things coexist in the ‘meaning’ of the myth; but just because it has metaphors, doesn’t mean it wasn’t believed to have happened. The Greeks did view their myths as having happened.

Zeus has so many children and so many affairs and rape myths, not because it’s just a metaphor and he didn’t actually do any of that, but because he’s a male fertility god, and he’s the god of kinds, and kings do abuse their power.

The Greek gods exist as how the world is, not how we want it to be or how it should be. Take Hera, for example — she doesn’t align with the passive and idealised wives described in things like Xenophon’s Economics, but is instead how women are. Real women get angry when their husbands are awful to them, so Hera, Goddess of Women, can be angry.

It’s good to learn the ways in which these deities were understood and what their domains can represent. Myths also help us to feel more familiar with our deities. Additionally the myths tell us not to be hubristic, and things like the Iliad tell us about Oaths and Offerings and Xenia. These are important parts of helpol.

I understand the want to disregard some of the more distasteful myths that depict things not only distasteful now but that would’ve even been viewed as wrong IN antiquity. But the Greek gods are not supposed to be perfect by human standards of morals. They have good and bad aspects based on their domains.

Deity Work vs Deity Worship

I’m going to preface this section by saying that I worship deities, I don’t work with them, so even though I’m doing research on this please take everything I say about deity work with a grain of salt and note that the rest of this post might apply more to worship, because that’s what I’m familiar with. Lastly, my intention here is not to place a value judgement on either type, I just want to try and make a full explanation for anyone out there looking for one, since I’ve found it to be kind of difficult to find.

From my understanding, deity work is common among witches, and usually involves asking a deity to help with your spells or other forms of magick. When you work with a deity, you are asking them to mentor you in a sense, and there’s often a specific goal in mind that they’re hoping to achieve with help of the deity. Additionally, because of that goal-oriented relationship, deity work has deadlines(?). Like, once you’ve achieved the goal you had, the deity will stop working with you

There are similarities, as both seem to involve reciprocity and offerings, and both involve cultivating a relationship with deities, even if the nature of that relationship and the reason for offering is different.

Deity worship doesn’t have a set end-goal. You CAN stop actively worshipping a deity, but this doesn’t usually come after a specific goal is achieved because there isn’t a goal in mind. Worship is more about honouring the deity. Khakis is built out of admiration, respect and love for the deity. This is why we pray, make offerings, etc. it’s all to honour the gods. We do ask for things in deity worship, but that’s not the entire point like it is for deity work.

FAQs

Do I need to be called to worship/work with a deity?

Nope! You are 100% allowed to reach out first. You can do that by praying or making an offering. Remember to research the deity first, so you know what epithets to use, know what symbols they’re associated with, have ideas for offerings, etc. Also, if a deity calls to you, you are not obligated to worship them. Acknowledge them and move on if you don’t have time, energy, or interest in worshipping them at that time.

Where can I find information on deities?

The main site that I think everyone uses is theoi.com, which has really in-depth pages on a lot of deities, with their myths, lists of epithets, family trees, etc. it’s a really useful resource!

Do I need an altar?

No. They’re nice to have but you don’t need one straight away. It took me two years of worshipping to get any altars, and even now I don’t really use them how you’re ‘supposed’ to.

Are there any sins in Hellenic Polytheism?

No, just don’t disrespect a god (don’t disrespect any of them, even the ones you don’t worship should be respected). Also don’t show hubris.

Deity X and Deity Y don’t get along, but I want to worship both, what do I do?

Disregard mythic literalism and remember this is a polytheistic religion. The gods know they are not the only god you will be worshipping, and they are chill with that. If you really want, you can separate their altars if you have an altar per deity, but it’s up to you completely.

Other General Advices

This post is a starting point, nothing here is very in-depth. Do more research if anything on here is still confusing to you. Feel free to ask people here on tumblr, I’m sure most of us would be happy to help.

Don’t believe everything you see on tiktok/tumblr. We’re all still learning, a lot of us are wrong about stuff. Do other research and let yourself form your own beliefs. As I’ve said, even parts of this post should be taken with a grain of salt. I’m no expert, I just want to try to help.

If you’re going to make your own posts about helpol stuff, advice I’ve seen before that really stuck with me is ‘keep some things scared’. You don’t have to post everything. I, at the moment, don’t post my prayers or photos of my altars. Those things are what I keep scared, you should have your own things. They don’t have to be the same as mine.

You have nothing to be afraid of. The gods can be intimidating when you’re starting out, but they know we don’t have as much readily available information about this stuff as the ancient greeks did. They also know you’re new, and they will be patient with you. Don’t be scared.

You can offer anything. Digital offerings are as valid as physical offerings. Devotional acts are valid too.

Know that you will never be done learning. Accept this and commit to trying to learn anyway.

Know how to tell signs from the gods apart from just General Happenings of the world. Here is a good post on that. I have a series on my blog tagged #signs from deities, to show the kinds of things I personally recognise to be signs and to show how frequently/infrequently those can occur. I would suggest keeping your own record of those, whether or not you share it is up to you. The reason is to reflect on your journey and, if you ever doubt your gods, you can look at those lists to remind yourself of how they’ve been there for you previously.

Doubt is healthy, it’s okay to doubt things. Don’t feel bad for this, the gods understand. Let yourself question everything you feel the need to question.

Similarly, anger is healthy. It’s okay to be angry at the gods, but don’t disrespect them because you’re upset. Handle your anger well. You won’t get punished for being upset.

The Hellenic Gods aren’t generally believed to be all-knowing, however it is believed that they can hear us when we call their names, which is why prayers start with invocation of a deity’s name and an epithet.

[sunshinesfreckless]

Coward

───୨ৎ────────୨ৎ───────୨ৎ───

Pairing: Idol!Felix x Fem!Reader

Summary: When Felix chooses his career over his girlfriend.

Warnings: No Happy Ending 🫩

A/N: Bet you guys didn’t expect an angst fanfic from me after you‘ve been asking for smut in my requests for the past few weeks—HAH, sorry!

───୨ৎ────────୨ৎ───────୨ৎ───

“You should break up with her.”

The words hung heavy in the air, more deafening than a scream.

Felix sat frozen in the meeting room, hands clenched into fists beneath the table, his heart pounding so loud he could barely hear anything else. He tried to meet Chan’s eyes, searching for support, for some kind of silent protest — but Chan wasn’t looking at him. His gaze was fixed on the floor, jaw tight, guilt written across every tense line of his face.

Hyunjin’s reaction was different — immediate, visible. His brows furrowed, eyes flickering from the manager to Felix like he’d just misheard. “What?” he breathed, his voice too soft to be defiant but too sharp to ignore. “You can’t be serious.”

The manager stayed calm. Too calm.

“She’s not a scandal yet,” he said, as if that made this any better. “But she will be. People are speculating. You’re slipping. The engagement on your posts is dropping, and the comments are full of hate toward her. This isn’t about your feelings, Felix. It’s about your image.”

Felix felt something in him splinter.

Like a crack that had been forming quietly, invisibly, now split wide open.

Y/N’s laugh echoed in his memory, soft and melodic. The way she’d always waited up for him, no matter how late he got home. The sleepy kisses on the couch, the way she wore his hoodies and always tucked her cold toes beneath his legs in bed. The way she whispered I’m proud of you on nights when he came home completely broken from exhaustion.

He thought about her smile — how safe it made him feel. How she never asked for much, just him. Just time. Just honesty.

But now they wanted him to give her up. Like she was just some inconvenience.

A marketing risk.

He didn’t speak. He couldn’t.

Because if he did, he might scream.

He might cry.

He might beg.

But idols don’t beg. Idols obey.

And Felix had worked too hard to throw it all away. That’s what they were counting on.

────୨ৎ────

The worst part?

He didn’t even say goodbye.

He couldn’t.

He waited until he was sure she wouldn’t be home — he knew her schedule, knew when she had that late meeting. And then he moved through the apartment like a ghost. Quiet. Methodical. Dying with every item he packed.

His computer setup.

The drawer full of hoodies she always stole.

His gaming gear — the controller she used to tease him for gripping too tightly during horror games.

The pictures on the fridge. Their Polaroids from Japan. The one from the night market where he had his arm wrapped tight around her waist and she was laughing like the happiest girl in the world.

Gone.

All of it.

Except for one thing.

He left behind a single hoodie.

The grey one she always wore when she missed him. Oversized. Faded. Smelled like him no matter how often she washed it. She used to say it made her feel safe.

He folded it carefully and placed it on their — her — bed.

No note.

No text.

No explanation.

He knew she’d spend days wondering if he was okay. If something happened.

He knew she’d call — again and again — until eventually she’d realize he wasn’t going to answer.

He knew she’d try to make sense of it.

Maybe she’d think she did something wrong.

And that was the part that gutted him most.

She’d never know the truth — that he still loved her so deeply it hurt to breathe.

That the last thing he wanted was to let her go.

That he cried the moment the door shut behind him and he was alone in the hallway, his suitcase by his side, her name caught in his throat like shattered glass.

────୨ৎ────

And when Y/N came home that night, everything was still. Too still.

The lights were off.

The air was cold.

The silence… was wrong.

She called his name. Once. Twice.

No answer.

And then she stepped into the bedroom and saw the hoodie — perfectly folded. Alone.

It hit her like a punch.

Her breath left her body.

And in that moment, she knew.

He was gone.

But she didn’t know why.

And maybe she never would.

She tried calling the boys. One after the other.

No one picked up.

Her chest tightened with every unanswered ring. Confusion turned to hurt — they had become her closest friends during the time she was with Felix. Late-night ramen runs with Chan, movie marathons with Jeongin, Han sending her playlists when she was sick. They had felt like family.

But now… nothing.

Not even Seungmin answered. And he always did.

What she didn’t know was that, on the other side of the city, all eight of them sat in silence in the practice room. The only sound came from the vibrating of their phones — one after the other, lighting up with her name. No one dared to move. No one dared to answer.

The guilt clung to the air like humidity, thick and suffocating.

Felix’s phone stayed dark.

She probably knew.

You’re a coward, his inner voice sneered.

And he didn’t fight it — because it was true.

────୨ৎ────

Hyunjin hadn’t meant to see her. He wasn’t trying to run into her.

It just… happened.

He saw her in the art supply store — his favorite store. The one he used to rave about. The one where he once helped her pick out brushes for a painting she’d made Felix for their anniversary.

She didn’t notice him.

Didn’t even glance up.

She moved through the aisles like a ghost — quiet, hollow, her steps slow, shoulders hunched under the invisible weight of something he couldn’t unsee.

Her eyes were tired. Worn out.

Full of sadness. But the kind you don’t cry out anymore. The kind that just settles. Heavy. Permanent.

He ducked behind a shelf, heart pounding, torn between guilt and shame. He watched her grab supplies with trembling fingers — watercolor paper, sketching pencils, a palette.

He knew her job was eating her alive.

He remembered the way Felix used to hold her after long shifts — cradling her, whispering into her hair, rubbing circles on her back until her hands stopped shaking.

Now she was alone.

Hyunjin swallowed hard.

He could’ve said something. Could’ve offered a smile, a hand, anything.

But he didn’t.

He stayed hidden.

Coward, he thought.

Just like Felix.

────୨ৎ────

Three years later, when Felix stepped into the quiet little café on a rainy Thursday afternoon, he was just looking for coffee. Maybe a moment to breathe — maybe even some peace.

What he didn’t expect…

…was a small body colliding into his legs with surprising force.

“Oof!” the child let out, falling back onto the floor.

Felix blinked in surprise, instinctively crouching down. The child didn’t cry — she just looked up at him with wide, curious eyes.

And the second Felix saw them —

He wanted to.

Her eyes.

He would’ve known them anywhere.

… just like hers.

He slowly took off his sunglasses and beanie, still crouched, still staring at the little girl. “Hey,” he said softly, his voice catching. “Are you okay?”

Before she could answer, a woman’s voice called out.

“Oh my god, sweetheart, please don’t run off like that — you know how scary your dad can get—”

The woman rushed over and took the girl’s hand.

Felix’s heart was already in his throat when he looked up.

He had expected it.

When he saw the eyes — when he heard the voice.

But still…

His entire world stopped.

Y/N stood in front of him.

She looked… different.

Not like his Y/N anymore.

Older. Exhausted. Her eyes didn’t shine like they used to.

Her mouth parted in shock. Her grip tightened around the child’s hand.

Felix opened his mouth, but nothing came out.

Then a man approached from behind her.

Older. Taller. Wearing a wedding band that matched the one on Y/N’s hand.

“Can’t you even get this stupid kid under control?” the man snapped. “For god’s sake, why can’t you do anything right, woman?”

Felix’s jaw tensed. He stood slowly, his hands curled into fists at his sides.

“I’m sorry, sir,” he said before he could stop himself. “It was my fault — she ran into me.”

The man glanced at Felix, eyes narrowing with disdain.

“Well, look at you. One of those K-pop fellas, huh?”

He gave Felix a long, disgusted look — then yanked the child’s hand out of Y/N’s grip.

“Let’s go.”

Y/N didn’t say anything.

She just looked at Felix one last time — eyes full of something unreadable — before she turned and hurried after them.

Felix stood frozen.

Watching the door swing shut behind her.

Feeling the emptiness crash back into his chest like it never left.

And this time, there was no one to blame but himself.

Coward.

[animeomegas]

Let's talk about Jamil and conditional heats.

Conditional heats are a version of the omega heat cycle that are a little more... sentient? Rather than heats happening like clockwork, conditional heats only happen when an omega's instincts believe that certain criteria have been met.

For a sexual heat, they decide there's a fine piece of alpha nearby that is perfect to mate and make babies with.

For a soft heat, they decide that there is a safe alpha who can protect the omega while they deal with some kind of stress, sickness, or burnout.

...

So, imagine Jamil, someone who has never had a real heat before, waking up a little warmer and stranger than normal. He's confused, he thinks he might be sick, which sucks because he really doesn't have time to be sick.

It's harder to pull himself out of bed than normal, but when he thinks about how he has a meeting planned with you, an alpha that he... enjoys the company of... he manages to get up.

But when he pulls back the covers, he's hit with his own scent, crazy strong and thick. He just stares for a moment, confused, and then a horrible, horrible thought runs through his head.

No.

He races to the nearest mirror. His flushed, sweaty face stares back at him in horror. The scent glands on his neck and thighs are swollen, his pupils are dilated, his skin is flushed all over... and he can't help but wish that you were here with him.

No.

"Don't you dare do this," he whispers to his reflection. "Don't you dare. I'm just... sick. I'm just sick."

He's been busy and stressed beyond normal the past few weeks, perfect conditions for getting sick... He ignores the voice inside his head which points out that those conditions are perfect for a soft heat as well.

He doesn't have time for this, and he's choosing denial, so he slaps on as many scent patches as he has available to try and reign it in, splashes cold water on his face and get ready like normal.

He manages to convince himself that he's doing well, until the second he opens the door to his room, and everything in him is screaming that it's not safe.

He's trained to pay attention to his instincts, to seek danger, but today his anxiety is through the roof. Every step feels like the last one he'll get to take and he doesn't know why.

He's on edge, snapping at everyone over everything. Even Kalim notices that something is very wrong and thinks Jamil is sick. Several people figure out he's in a soft heat, and try to gently steer him back to his room, but he bites the head off of anyone that even hints at it.

Eventually, word must have got back to you, because you find him at lunch. He was trying to hide in one of the more shadowy corners behind a building, just to take a moment to regain his composure, when he hears your voice.

"Jamil?"

No. No, anyone but them.

Underneath all the scent patches, he can feel his scent glands working overtime to try and desperately produce a scent that will bring you close to him.

No, he's sick! He's just sick!

"G-Go away," he manages to grit out, the words causing him physical pain. "Leave me alone."

Unhappy with his resistance, his legs buckle beneath him, sending him sprawling to the ground.

Yes, if he falls, if he's weak, his alpha will protect him, they'll stay by him, this is good.

No! No, it is not good!

"Jamil!" You rush to his side, supporting him with one arm around his waist while your other hand gently pushes his hair away from his face. He can feel you studying him, looking for what's wrong. He just hopes you don't find anything.

"Jamil? Did someone trigger your heat?" you asked delicately, voice quiet and soothing, like he's some sort of child that needs mollycoddling.

"No!" he denies. "I'm sick. I'm just sick." He doesn't know which one of you he's trying to convince at this point.

You don't believe him, he can tell. Honestly, he doesn't blame you; it's a rather pathetic attempt at a lie. But you don't call him out on it, either.

"Jamil, if you're sick, then you should be resting in your room." You scoop him up in your arms before he can protest. He let's out a little strangled noise of surprise though. "Let me take you back to your room, you won't gain anything from forcing yourself through the day like this."

"But Kalim-"

"But Kalim nothing. You're just as important as he is, and you need rest when you're sick, Jamil. If Kalim needs anything, I'll handle it, okay?"

Part of him croons at your words and the other part resents them. It's this ridiculous attitude of yours that has him all... ruined. It pisses him off; life was much simpler before you turned up.

There's also another part of him, a much louder part than he would like, that's angry at the thought of you helping Kalim. You're supposed to be helping him, looking at him, being with him, not Kalim!

He doesn't say anything out loud though. He's honestly worried he'll make an embarrassing noise if he opens his mouth to speak.

Besides... your arms feel nice. Maybe he should take a nap? His eye lids feel heavy... he's been overworked so much recently, he needs a break, and you're here to protect him...

No... he shouldn't... it wouldn't be a good idea...

You're shushing him now... the vibrations from your chest are soothing...

A good idea...

To...

"Sleep, Jamil. I've got you."

To...

His eyes slip closed and his body goes limp. He'll regret his succumbing to his instincts later, but for now, some good sleep is well needed.

...

Jamil is perfect for this set up imo, because he needs an outside force to make him admit he likes an alpha. It's not convenient for him, so he'll ignore it until he literally can't anymore lol.

I don't remember the point I was making when I started this post but... Jamil 🥰

[I'm still learning about the TWST characters, so hopefully this is okay! Thank you for reading!]

[demiurgicviscera]

uvb76fan is posting in this tag talking about all the ways trans men have it “worse”, while misrepresenting the statistic she is citing. most likely banking on no one looking closer or reading the links.

this person is a terf. if you search trans on her blog it is immediately clear, i am not using terf loosely she is literally actually a terf.

we cannot let our weariness at not being heard by some of our community push us into the sick and malformed arms of transmisogyny and radical feminism, these people do not care about us at all, they are trying to harm every single one of us. our solidarity with trans women, men and people as whole should cause us to slam hard on the breaks. no matter how many trans women you see being antitransmasculine it does not mean that there are not so many more who are our genuine allies, do not let the algorithm pushing hateful person after hateful person your way skew your understandings. the transphobes want dissent, they want us to tear each other apart. we do not need to contribute to the harm to have ours lessened. (causing harm to a vulnerable minority is never morally correct no matter what got you there in the first place. also straight up trans women are easy to love and are inherently deeply deserving of community solidarity, and fascism (which terfs are) should not have any appeal whatsoever no matter how hurt you are but i digress.)

on another note: we cannot and must not reactively take on the mentalities of trans rad fems, no gender in the trans community needs to be the most oppressed to be taken seriously and given respect in our community, the equality in our suffering is immense and must be acknowledged without each group needing to prove we are the most victimized to get the care and community support we need. this is harmful no matter who is doing it. we absolutely must nip this kind of thinking in the bud.

push back on terfs in this tag everywhere you can, and if there is a reason you cannot comment or reblog to shut them down, block them on sight.

[moonqz4now]

WHAT DO YOU WANT? :; Kwon Jiyong x Reader

GD&TOP WRITING EVENT

pairing : Kwon Jiyong x idol!fem!reader

genre : fluff

warnings / contents :

description : Two idols from YG entertainment, one a member of BIGBANG and the other, 2NE1. When years of playful flirting on and off stage, blur into the lines of real romance, the question ‘What do you want’ appears at the YG family concert.

this is my oneshot for the GD&TOP writing event i’m doing, which involves some of my favourite writers, they have all been so kind, and they are incredibly talented, please support them 🤍 so grateful to do this event alongside them all - to them writers who have joined and helped me, thank you so much my loves <3

The first time Y/N heard him say her name, he’d dragged it out like a secret he wasn’t sure he should be telling.

“Y/N-ah,” he’d teased, leaning against the studio doorframe like he had nowhere else to be. Her name fell from his lips so simplistically, like they had known each other for years and he said it everyday.

“That’s pretty” He would casually comment

She was nineteen then. Nervous. New. Still measuring her worth in how tightly she could hold a mic and how little she stumbled over dance steps. He, on the other hand, was already Kwon Jiyong. Already gold chains and platinum hair and lyrics that hit like poetry when no one was looking.

So she just blinked up at him from her spot on the practice room floor, towel draped around her neck, half-winded and unsure if he was serious.

“I like your voice,” he added plainly, and then walked away.

Years later, she still remembered that moment. How the air had felt too warm after he left, how her heart had thudded all the way down to her sneakers.

It had never been anything too obvious between them. Not really. Just a string of “joking” flirts that never quite untangled.

Like the time he’d draped his arm around her during the YG Family photoshoot in 2013, whispering something so dumb—“Smile bigger, you’ll thank me when you’re forty” that it made her laugh right as the camera flashed. She kept that photo tucked in the back of her phone case for years. It’s still there now. A little faded, only slightly ruined. But it was perfect.

Or the way he always seemed to end up on the couch next to her at afterparties, legs pressed just close enough to touch.

“You look tired,” he’d murmur, and she’d roll her eyes because of course she was tired.

But then he’d place a warm can of coffee in her hands without asking.

Times where the two groups would collab, and Jiyong purposefully put his and Y/M’s verses layering over the other, melodically, easily.

For example, when the two groups were working on a collab stage together and were in the dance room practising, light sweat clinging to the back of their necks, and everyone’s hair slightly flattened.

Jiyong would hand her a bottle of water during a break, with Daesung’s voice calling out throughout the room, in his spot sitting next to y/n, “Hyung! Why didn’t you get me water too?” the man would playfully speak.

“Because she needed it more”

Joking, over dramatic winks were passed between the two, with Chaelins gave contorting into a grimace and an ‘ew’ which only encouraged Jiyong to do more, pretending to pepper even more dramatic kisses across her face, his lips never actually touching her skin, until she backed away, pushing him off with a laugh.

Other times where they would be backstage and he would take her water, chug half of it before handing it back to her. Or where they would ‘jokingly’ flirt in front of their friends like it was normal.

Like it was completely innocent, no feeling behind it accept two close friends.

Years of it.

Years of off-stage teasing and quiet studio check-ins, of Jiyong pulling her in for impromptu dance moments during YG collab stages, always a beat too long, always with a wink he never gave to anyone else.

Lingered hands on her waist when they would hug, fingers too gently running through her hair when it needed fixing quickly before going back on stage.

Nothing ever happened. Not really.

He was always too much, and she was always too cautious.

Dancers blurred into fleeting images backstage at the YG family concert. Where all idols connected, collaborated, invented.

BIGBANG covered 2NE1’s songs iconically bad. Their teasing attempt at being a girl group such as the girls themselves, was laughable, and they pulled it off, as they always do, with shit eating grins, and vocals so hypnotising, even when they were trying to sound somewhat bad.

Of course, Jiyong pretended to be y/n. Covering her verses, Copying her now famous movements she would do at every concert. Like the slight head tilt when singing, and the way she would hold the microphone with her pinky out, subconsciously.

The cameras rolled around the group, occasionally drifting to where 2NE1 themselves were watching their friends dance and sing to some of their most cherished songs.

The lights dimmed and the boys, ever the performers, stood in all their glory, soaking up the way the girls were sidestage, mouths covered by their hands in an attempt to hide their laughter, eyes crinkled slightly. Of course the camera zoomed in on G-Dragon at the exact moment he blew a kiss to Y/N.

A seemingly innocent interaction. A mocking, a teasing, something they did all the time.

Only the people who really observed could see the way his eyes softened slightly in almost awe when y/n pretended to grimace in response to the action.

The real 2NE1 appeared shortly after, conquering the stage with a calm yet intense feeling passing through the entire audience. And he was there of course. Watching from a difference, his chain loose around his neck, one she had gotten him for a birthday a couple years back.

He watched her perform with a gentleness in his eyes that you can’t explain. Ignoring Taeyang’s comments throughout the girls set, before claiming he was just immersed in the music.

And then came the final dance. A collab with all the idols that were there that night. All of the labels biggest stars, together on a stage where they all pushed through the exhaustion, the years and years of non stop practising, working, creating.

But when it came to the final bow, BIGBANG and 2NE1 stood side by side, with Jiyong next to Y/N, who’s feet were milling from the heels her stylist made them all wear.

Her foot stumbled slightly, causing her to almost fall in a sheet of panic, and humiliation. But quickly, too quickly to even be considered human, his hand was around her waist, holding her up until she balanced again. It wasn’t noticeable to anyone else surrounding. His grip on her waist wasn’t a foreign sight to the media. But it felt different. When his hand didn’t leave until they all had to move off the stage, the girls heart pattered strongly in her chest.

But she would say it was just the adrenaline of the night.

The roar of the crowd still echoed in her ears as she stepped offstage after the last dance of the night, the heat of the spotlights still clinging to her skin. Her chest rose and fell with shallow breaths, and she blinked against the rush of confetti that still danced behind her eyes.

Backstage was utter chaos. Staff yelling into earpieces, stylists tugging at sleeves and wiping sweat, idols hugging, laughing, congratulating each other through adrenaline-drunk smiles. y/n offered a few tired high-fives, her hands still buzzing from the energy of the night.

She wanted to find her members. CL was probably already demanding champagne, but her legs carried her the opposite way, down a quieter hallway. Somewhere dimmer. Somewhere the noise couldn’t follow.

She reached the corner near the old makeup room, the one with the flickering lights and the slightly scratched mirror, and leaned against the wall, letting the silence settle around her like a second skin.

And then she heard it: the soft squeak of sneakers. A presence behind her.

“You always disappear after stages,” came his voice. Gentle. Knowing.

She didn’t turn around, but her lips curved just slightly. “I’m not disappearing. I’m recharging.”

Jiyong chuckled. “Still pretending you’re not exhausted even though you nearly tripped during the group bow?”

“I did not trip.”

“You stumbled. Like a newborn deer.” he teased, before adding “It’s a good thing my hand was there to catch you”

She laughed. quiet, breathless, real.

He came to stand beside her, his shoulder brushing lightly against hers. Neither of them moved. The hallway buzzed faintly with fluorescent light. From the distance, the echo of fans chanting still lingered like a dream slowly fading.

For a moment, they said nothing.

Just stood there.

The silence between them wasn’t uncomfortable, nor was it ever. It was full of everything they’d never said. Years of glances that lasted too long. Inside jokes that stopped being jokes. Coffee cups left outside studio doors and text messages typed and deleted more times than she could count.

And then, softly, so softly she almost missed it, he asked:

“y/n..what do you want?”

Her breath caught.

She turned to look at him.

But he wasn’t smiling now. He wasn’t wearing that gummy smile of his that she barely pretended to hate. His eyes, dark and unreadable, held hers with a quiet intensity. No teasing. No smirk.

Just a question.

She swallowed.

Of all the things he could’ve said. You did well tonight. Let’s grab food. I missed this. This was the one she hadn’t prepared for.

Because it wasn’t about the concert.

It wasn’t about music. It wasn’t for the cameras, the fans, the label.

It was for her.

And suddenly, she was nineteen again, holding banana milk in an all too-bright practice room. She was twenty-one, her pinky tangled in his loosely, just before a stage. She was twenty-five, reading his note tucked into a CD case. She was every version of herself that had ever wanted him and been too scared to say so.

“I don’t know,” she whispered. “I think I used to.”

“And now?”

She looked up at him—really looked. His eyes were softer now. Waiting. Willing to wait forever, if she needed him to.

“I think I want…” she paused, then exhaled. Her voice was smaller than she meant it to be. “You.”

He nodded slowly, like he’d known all along. Of course he had. Anyone could’ve guessed. But he was waiting for her to admit it.

Like he just needed to hear her say it.

And then, like it was the simplest thing in the world, he reached up and gently tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. His fingers lingered against her cheek, tracing the edge of a smile he didn’t realize he’d missed.

His touch felt different to any other instance they had found themselves tangled in over the years. Like the weight of the situation dawned on them two with a mixture of relief and fear.

“I’ve wanted you,” he said, “for a long time.”

With that, Jiyong leaned in slightly, his nose brushing gently against hers before she stopped him.

“Not here, there’s cameras everywhere”

His laugh was breathy, quiet, his eyes crinkling under the light of the room. And his forehead pressed against hers.

“When have I ever cared for that?”

Then his lips were against hers. His hand once treading carefully on her cheek, now using it to keep himself grounded, his other hand tangling itself in the girls hair.

This is where he belonged. All those years of half-assed denials, avoidance. And now. They couldn’t brush it off anymore. No more, ‘we’re just friends’ with a heavy heart. No more, ‘don’t be stupid, we don’t like each other like that’.

He was drowning in her, and he didn’t want to learn how to swim.

tag list : @raynamorono23 @szonyix6277 @mintymuse @millytugby 🤍

[scrapyardboyfriends]

Episode Thoughts…

That was a great episode. Much better than yesterday I think. It’s nice seeing Robert about the village more and settling in.

The nightmare at the beginning made me so sad for him. I like that they’re still showing it though. That gives me hope they’re going to continue to explore it and I still want my prison flashback episode. But no, I loved Vic coming into calm him down. And that hug 😭

The faces Robert was making while Vic was inviting him to lunch with John were amazing. Definitely reminiscent of him in the White’s kitchen during the break up era. Very fun.

The lunch would have been ten times funnier if Aaron was there and I really need it to happen at some point but obviously it was the right thing to do not to include him. Haha. I like that Vic knows they’re just playing along for her. The synchronized smiles bit was funny.

But ugh…fuck you John. Trying to making him feel bad about not having money and asking Gabby about a job at the Hide knowing that wasn’t what he wanted and knowing she wasn’t going to give it to him. Especially when you’re the reason he doesn’t have the job he’s good at right now. John’s stupid little “be confident, you’ve got this”. Robert should have punched him again.

I feel bad that Robert has to deal with Vic begging for work for him though. But to his credit, he did accept the farm job. He is accepting help, which feels like growth. I did kind of like the Jack mention of him saying Robert wasn’t cut out for farm work and that being the one thing Robert could agree with him on.

That said, I support farmer Robert. Bless him though, only wants to do farm work if Aaron’s around. Haha.

I do like that he keeps winning over the new people though. First Caleb with his tenacity and business sense and now Mack with putting in a hard day’s work. Because they both and pre written him off based on what other people had said but then he’s able to prove his worth. I’m so proud of him. Look at our boy making friends.

Kind of reminds me of 2014 with Aaron a little. Aaron had heard all the Robert stories from people but he got to know the real Robert because he gave him a chance and the rest is history.

I loved that little Mack scene at the end though when he started be sarcastic about John and Robert perked up and was like “finally someone doesn’t worship him!” And his smile when Mack said it was nice having him around. I just want them to be besties at some point. Please!

I do think it’s interesting that they’ve brought up Vic feeling responsible for Robert being in prison twice now. I wonder if they’re going to go more into that if they’re digging into his trauma or if that’s just some establishing stuff to tie things together and remind the viewers why he was in prison.

Anyway…it really was a good episode for him. Big fan.

[respectthepetty]

Thank you for answering my ask. I was wondering what you would say... it was refreshing in a way because you acknowledge that Joong could've done it with ill intentions but you are also completely fine with it. Wow. But I appreciate the honesty. And I'm not calling you out, but I noticed you said you didn't understand why mothers defend their sons' behavior no matter what until now, and then in another ask, you said you didn't mind because you're messy. Maybe you made an exception because he's your bias, not because you're "messy".

After reading your post, I was mulling over this for a looong time because I actually liked to believe there was no malice involved. But if I'm being completely honest with my feelings, I am not okay with what Joong did :( Even if in real life, Joong and Dunk are just co-workers and Joong hated Dunk secretly or whatever (which happens I guess, I'm not going to complain about personal feelings behind the scenes), but I just can't be supportive of liking a hate post... esp. in this day of socmed, where online hate could lead to people being depressed, driven to suicide, etc. It goes against my morals. Sorry if this comes off too serious, but I just couldn't be okay with it I guess. Do you think I'm too naive to feel this way?

Also Dunk posted something on twitter today and I think it might be related to this incident because of the timing.

https://x.com/dunknatachai/status/1937777546541871472

Do you think there will be fallout? Not immediately because they have a lot of work scheduled already, but after DYTD? I feel like I can't look away even though I want to, if it leads to a messy breakup. And this isn't the first time for me too for my fav ship to sink and last time it happened it made me sad haha :(

Y'all . . .

I understand comadres now because I am so disconnected from this mess because it doesn't seem like it should be this serious. Like at some point, we start to understand King Triton in The Little Mermaid far more than Ariel, and the next thing we know, we are siding with Ursula because really? All this drama over a guy she saw for less than two seconds? Youths!

So regardless of the Anons' ages in my inbox, the issue between Juan and Diego, to me, feels like a problem of the young, which shouldn't even be a problem, and doesn't actually feel like a problem IF I'm understanding this right:

There is a hate account for Dunk that made a hate post, and that hate post said -he had a girlfriend-

That's the hate. The hate is that he has a girlfriend. Is this how we are bullying guys in 2025? We are saying they have . . . girlfriends? *in my comadre voice* I have to be missing something (and yes, I know saying a man in a branded pair has a girlfriend is up there with the First Commandment for some of y'all, pero . . . if I could have a time machine and tell the 80s gays this would be happening one day, they would've thought I was crazy)

Then, Joong 'liked' that post. He didn't Pretty Little Liars, Gossip Girl, or Mean Girls this. He wasn't the actual person who created this hate account and started posting all these hate posts anonymously. He just 'liked' this -one- post. That's it. ¿No más? *in my comadre voice* a la chingada . . .

Joong said he 'liked' the post because he is gathering evidence to sue the person who is bullying Dunk by saying Dunk has a girlfriend. *I start looking for cameras because this has to be a prank*

As a comadre, I do not understand how the TeaTalk (TikTok) or the TweetTweet (Twitter) works, but some have chimed in and seem to think what Joong is saying is reasonable. However, I will not pretend to understand anything these two kind souls are writing. This is the knowledge of the youths.

So now, Joong and Dunk are using their socials to do what they do best, which I actually understand since I was alive and active when social media BEGAN. I, too, dabbled in the art of vague posting when I wrote my away message in AOL Messenger and reshuffled by Top 8 in MySpace.

And that's it! That's the drama!

I would really like to apologize to all the comadres and madres who I judged for being dismissive of my issues because, now sitting on this side of life, I understand that those issues were solely issues for the young, and running to them to complain about an adult man's behavior was wild.

Does this partnership make you money? Yes. Then apologize. Don't mess up a paycheck.

Do you really hate each other? Doesn't matter. Apologize. Hate each other after the paycheck is in your hands.

Do you want out of this situation? Apologize now, and plan to leave once the check clears.

God, I feel bad for the managers.

The youths.

[fishnapple]

What you should know about your career

This is a general reading meant for multiple people. Take only what resonates and leave out the rest.

Your feedback is much appreciated. If you find the reading resonated with you, leave a comment, I’d love to know 🎐

About me | Masterpost Book a reading with me - KO-FI (→ personal reading)

CITRINE

Social connections and people in general are very important to your career. They play a crucial role in shaping your success. If you're the kind who likes to work independently, who doesn't want to rely on others for support and favour, you might not like to hear this. But it seems going alone is not your path. You're inextricably connected to people. If you want to move forward, to achieve big success then you have to accept that you need other people. You need to work with them as a team, to belong to a group, rather than shining on your own. Whom you choose to connect with also can impact your career decisions. They can help you choose the right road, steer you towards places that let you play your strengths to the most. But if you don't practise discernment, people can lead you astray with their advice and goading. 

Although you need people, you also need to know whom you can share your loads with. This is one of the few instances where friends might not always be the best people to share your burdens with. They may mean well, but their actions and beliefs can hinder your vision, they might advise you against doing something too 'rebellious', too risky, in their eyes. This could confuse you, keep you in a safe zone that you can't expand or grow much. So making a clear distinction between your personal friends and people you work with is important. Keep the two spheres separated. It's not easy to do so, especially when you're uncertain about your choices and need advice from the people you trust. But sometimes, going against the grains will let you out of the haze. Finding people who can support and encourage your dreams and aspirations will not be easy but it will be rewarding. 

Speaking of going against the grains. I see a lot of struggle between traditions, legacies versus innovation and changes. You might have to fight against long held traditional beliefs that prove to be not helpful anymore for your career. Maybe you saw how older people were doing and were taught to go a certain way. But you need to hold your heart's desires at the centre and move with that. Your faith in yourself will be tested. Confidence will be born from the belief that whatever you're doing, you will have your own back and there will always be people who can accept and support you.

FLUORITE

I see a sudden ending. A change that can shake your stability and force you to change your old habits, move away from the old support system and find a new footing. This change will let you move away and find a new home for yourself. Literally or figuratively, as you might have to change your living space, go independent, or be away from home for a while. It will be difficult to stay at home and cling to the past comfort. You will miss it dearly, yearning for the safety and peace you had at home. But circumstances might push you out of your comfort zone and demand you to start exploring the outside world more. Overall, there will be an exchange, a transition, you will need to give up something in order to achieve a bigger goal. Even endure hardship and do something against your heart's desires. It's uncomfortable but it will lead you to discover many hidden parts inside you. You will slowly realise what you truly want and create a new start for yourself. 

Trust in a new start, be in the mindset of a beginner. Even when you think you're experienced, there will be a time where you need to let go of all of your past knowledge and experience and start anew, that is the sacrifice, the change that would come to you. You're asked to put in blind faith in a new adventure, relinquish any past glory and achievements. Become a total newbie who is so eager to learn and to play. 

You need to make a mark with your individuality, to stand out, to make people remember your unique essence. It's not about seeking attention, it's about defining yourself clearly in people's eyes, to let them know what you're capable of. Gaining support from people around you is vital. The best way is to be honest in being yourself, let people have a chance to really 'see' you. What’s interesting is you might feel resistant towards acting more boldly, in accordance with what you truly want because you think it's childish, coy and dramatic. But that's where your charm lies. Being charming and persuasive works in your favour when it comes to your career. Hold on firmly to your deepest self and you will find that being charming is not at all difficult. 

One extra note, you will receive many intuitive messages through your dreams. If you see a child or children in your dream, it's a sign that you're getting closer to the 'guidance' within. Notice their actions in the dream, what you do with them, how you feel, you will find many answers through your dreams.

LABRADORITE 

A strong message of building up your strength and endurance is there. Not just physically but most importantly, mentally and emotionally. You might encounter lots of jealousy, slander and gossip at work. But if you stay strong within, you can weather them all. Nothing can get inside your heart if you don't allow them. You could feel like everything that is happening is outside of your control, they're not what you want and wish for. But don't turn your back on them. You're advised to let your heart lead you, but not into hiding, but straight ahead, rising above any obstacles. You're strong and have your intuition backing you up. This is the time to be fearless. 

There's going to be some sudden changes in your surroundings that can shake you, make you bewildered and confused. But fear not, you can get over them. As long as you stay rooted in what you believe in. Loyalty, to yourself, your principles and your good friends, will be an anchor that keeps you safe from all the storms around you. Beware of gossip that seems harmless and fun at first. Sometimes, it's best to keep some information for yourself rather than sharing it openly. Words can be a deadly weapon, for you or against you. Superficial connections won't help you grow. Focus on creating strong bonds with a selected few, whom you trust and can rely on. Quality over quantity. Whom you can envision spending a future with. Be selective of your friends and stick to them. Not everything has to be about fun and enjoyment. Some are there to help you learn new lessons, difficult lessons that you can't learn by yourself. Treasure those who you can count on as your friends. 

Even when you're angry and indignant. Don't be hasty to jump into conclusions and judge people. Your career will flourish more easily if you show your compassionate side more often, even to people who you think don't deserve it. Best not to linger too long on them. Save your energy to appreciate other people. Encourage them, appreciate their effort. You will become an inspiration. Above all, give appreciation to yourself. Allow yourself to dream big. Your career is marked by many movements. You have what it takes to go far.

The number 5 might have a significant meaning in your career. 

CLEAR QUARTZ 

There can be some hidden strife and conflicts in your career. The environment you're in seems to be not encouraging of honesty and cooperation. Instead, it promotes individualism and hidden competition. Life has an interesting way of letting you learn new lessons by arranging events that let you get out of your comfort zone. If you prefer solitude, then somehow, you would at one point be given a chance to do something in front of the public. You might resist it at first, but it will unlock your many hidden potentials and you will find that it's not as bad as you initially thought. 

Your career is marked by many moments of transformation and rebirth. The moment you choose to shine on your own, the moment that you achieve success, you will find that some connections will fall apart, some people will distance themselves from you. But the moment you stumble, when you're lost, you will also find help in unlikely places. Sunny and cloudy moments seem to alternate in your career forecast. There's a hidden force within you that doesn't allow you to be defeated. You're protected and pushed to keep moving. No matter how hazy the view in front of you is. You might have to change careers a few times before finally settling down. You can be restless for a while, wanting to learn as much from your job as possible, and when a job can't provide anymore lessons, you feel the urge to move on. Some might comment that you're being too flaky, too unsteady. Sometimes you yourself will also doubt your choices, with so much changes, can you succeed, can you achieve mastery of anything? Loyalty to an ideal, you have plenty, but loyalty to an actual place and position, you might not. One hard lesson you need to learn is to pursue something until you're confident of it, to stick to something long enough. It doesn't mean that you have to stay in a horrible job until you can't take it anymore. It means that you need to keep your purpose and goals crystal clear and hold on to them, no matter where you go. When you choose to stay in a job, you will exhaust all the possible ways of how to do the job creatively. You become an innovator, always find something new in something familiar. This way, you won't get bored quickly and can commit better to a job.

Male figures might have some big influences on your career in general. Also connect more with your masculine energy. When that energy is left unchecked, it can make you restless and reckless. But when you know how to connect with it, it can become your supporter in pursuing your goals.

[otp-after-dark]

PLEASE, please Osblaines read this one — I highly recommend it. It had me bawling.

(God, I hate the Handmaid’s Tale writers.)

I loved it so much I had to share why this three-part fan fic resonated so deeply with me and made me remember why I fell in love with this novel and the characters in it. It brought me back to the real heart of Atwood’s story: the one about agency, survival, unconventional love, and the quiet defiance of building something entirely your own.

Castles in the Air does what the show flat-out refused to do: it writes June and Nick not just as a couple, but as true partners. It builds a life for them that isn’t conventional, clean, or easy but it’s honest, free, and chosen. This fic gave me everything canon took away.

There’s a version of The Handmaid’s Tale that remembered what it started as: not just a dystopia, not just a warning, but a rebellion against every “right way” a woman is told to live. A story that gave space for love that didn’t follow the rules. For women who don’t make the choices the world wants them to make. The show used to be that story. And then it wasn’t.

But this fic is.

Set after Season 3, Castles in the Air picks up where the real story should have: with Nick making a choice. Not just for June, but for himself. To step outside the structures he helped dismantle. To be part of something better. To fight, not just for the woman he loves, but alongside her. And not in some idealized way. This fic gets messy. Their relationship isn’t picture-perfect. It’s strained by trauma, guilt, grief, old wounds, and impossible choices. But they stay. They talk. They listen. And for once, the words aren’t one-sided.

What moved me so much is that this fic lets Nick finally say what the show never allowed him to: how deeply June’s tunnel vision has affected him, how often he’s been asked to sacrifice without being considered, how her choices, even the brave ones, have sometimes come at an unbearable cost to him. And the best part? The fic doesn’t frame him as wrong for saying so. He’s not punished. He’s heard.

And June—God, June—is so well written here. Still fierce, still raw, still capable of burning down everything in her path for the people she loves. But here she’s forced to sit with that. To look at how that fire has hurt the people closest to her. There’s a period of separation between them that just wrecked me but it’s necessary. It’s not melodrama. It’s growth. When they come back together, it’s because they’ve both chosen it. Not because they have to. Not because they’re stuck. Because it’s what they want.

This fic doesn’t just give them love—it gives them freedom. Not the hollow kind the show teases, where everyone ends up in Canada as proof they’re safe. This is a different kind of freedom. One built on mutual trust, shared purpose, and the radical act of saying:

We don’t have to follow the rules. We don’t have to live how people expect us to. We can build something real, even if it doesn’t look like what the world says a family should be.

And oh my god, the ending. I won’t spoil it, but it’s so in line with what Atwood was getting at. June choosing a path that’s uncertain, imperfect—but hers. Choosing love that’s not safe, but true. It’s powerful in the quietest way. The kind of ending where you finally exhale and realize just how long you’ve been holding your breath.

Also, the side characters? Chef’s kiss. Luke is given depth and care. He’s not villainized but he’s not centered either. His grief is real, and his arc feels earned, even as it makes clear that his and June’s lives are no longer aligned. And Beth—oh my god, BETH. She’s smart, she’s direct, she calls June out when she needs it and supports her when it matters. She’s the perfect grounding force in all this chaos.

In the end, it doesn’t just give Nick and June a future, it gives them a choice. And more importantly, it lets June reclaim something the show tried to take from her: the right to define happiness on her own terms. Not what the world expects. Not what a good mother or good survivor is supposed to want. Just what she wants.

This fic broke my heart and then put it back together in a way canon never tried to. Please read it.

[honeyhour]

“in that case, maybe we should consider making the coffee my responsibility from now on. i mean, you’re the one who does most of the actual cooking anyway, so i’d say it’s only fair that the burden is placed on my shoulders for a change.” it’s not that este is incapable of making dinner for them both and more that he’s just… kinda better at it. she’s much more comfortable in the sous chef position, which in their case usually means sitting pretty atop the counter to offer unnecessary support and pass the occasional utensil when he asks for it. sure, it’s not exactly rocket science, but she would still argue she’s gotten damn good at it. “yeah, that sounds good to me.” she’s hoping the declaration of love she just gave him will make up for the way she giggles as he lifts himself back off the floor. being the kind-hearted girlfriend that she is, she won’t comment on the strained groan or make the obvious old man joke that’s just sitting there, ripe for the taking. she must be feeling extra generous today. “you helped me a lot earlier, so i’ll even let you choose what we watch. i know my personal picks can be a little hit or miss for you and to show my gratitude, i won't force you to endure another disney channel musical for at least another few days.”

"i know," is the response that he gives her this time as eyes cast a loving glance upwards. he could have easily said 'i love you too' and that is usually the case but since this conversation stemmed from potential doubts he may have regarding her feelings for him and how deep they run, it seemed apt. he knows that this isn't just a measly fling, knows that there's generally a rhyme or reason why este does the things she does. writing notes and making him coffee still very much fit under that category and if it's all in an endeavor to remind him that he's never far from her mind then he sure as hell will hold tight and try not to let his demons win out. "hey, i'm not above accepting help when it comes to things like that. while it's not a chore, it's still a necessity to kickstart my day and sometimes, i just don't want to do it." sue him for being lazy or overly tired from a grueling training session outdoors the day prior. the burning taste never really helped the motivation either. his knees start to feel the itch of the carpet start to bite into his skin so jesper, with an old man groan, rises from the ground and resumes his position as the lanky tall boyfriend. "i think it's the caffeine that gets me through it, to be fair," he confesses with a laugh. "alright babe - what's on the agenda for the rest of the night? netflix and chill once we bring the rest of the stuff upstairs for me to look at later?" 'the rest' being her laptop, something he would prefer to be tucked away in his pseudo-office if he can help it.

[riddled-with-fear]

Hello hello friend! Congratulations on your 100 followers! 🎊🎉🎊

I would perhaps like some 80's music on a Vinyl with Arkham Riddler? 👀

Thank you, friend!🥹💚

So, you’re looking for an 80s Vinyl Featuring Arkham!Riddler? I have JUST the thing 😌🫶🏻

side note: this kind of got LONG haha! Thank you for your continuous support, and all of your kind words! <3

WC: 1782

CW: Fem!reader, PIV Sex, unprotected sex, verbal abuse from Eddie (like always), if I am missing any tags, let me know!

NSFW under the cut!

“Hand me the socket wrench.” Edward held out a gloved hand behind him.

You quickly rifled through a cardboard box of various assorted tools. Sensing Edward’s very thin patience, you grabbed the first wrench-like tool you saw and slapped it into his waiting hand. 

Edward brought it in front of him, sighed deeply, and then slammed it down on his work table. “A socket wrench! Socket! Do I need to spell out everything for you?” 

Heat bloomed across your cheeks and down your neck, you turned back to the box and dug through the tools again.

Edward clenched his fists, furrowed his brows, and took a deep breath. You were making far too much noise, and taking far too long to look for a very common tool. 

“ENOUGH! Leave, I’ll get it myself. Your incompetence lately has not been unnoticed.” Edward stood up, easily towering over your hunched form.

You sheepishly stopped digging in the dingy box, and stood up, facing him. You couldn’t help but notice the way his goggles mussed his dark hair up. You couldn’t help but notice the way the oil and grime highlighted his cheek bones. You certainly couldn’t help but notice the sweat trickling down his neck, over his collarbones, down to his bony chest. You saw thin strands of chest hair just barely peeking out from the neckline of his well-worned white undershirt. You so badly wanted to see what else he was hiding under it. You let your eyes wander.

Edward cleared his throat. Your eyes quickly snapped up to his. He was right, you had been ‘incompetent’ as of late. You couldn’t exactly place why you were so out of it. Why you were so distracted… why you found yourself with lingering eyes, or why you were starting to notice more physical details about Edward.

Then, it hit you.

You wanted to fuck Edward. The Riddler. Gotham’s greatest everything.

Shit.

Edward cocked his brows up, “Well? Are you going to stand there all day with your mouth hanging open like some lobotomized fool?”

You quickly closed your mouth, and backed away from the box. Edward bent down, and began to rifle through his chaotically organized tools. You noticed the way his muscles and tendons flexed under his skin. You noticed just how large his forearms were. You supposed that’s what happens when you work with your hands as much as he does. You bit your lip, your throat going dry. 

“This!” He exclaimed, pulling out the wrench, “Is a socket wrench.” He turned to face you, holding the tool out in front of him. 

You couldn’t focus on what he was saying, but you saw his gloved finger pointing at the tool. His large finger. You began to wonder what his hands would feel like on you. His arms wrapped around you… His fingers inside you.

You shook the thought from your head as soon as it entered. God, what was wrong with you? You could not believe you were harboring these explicit feelings for your boss. Someone with walls so impenetrably thick. Someone who was so cold, you were surprised he could feel anything at all. 

“I-I know what it is.” You finally responded.

“Oh? Is that right? You could have fooled even me.”

“Eddie, enough, please. I understand I haven’t been performing as well as I should be. You don’t need to keep berating me.”

“No, no, I think I do. How else will I get through that thick skull of yours?” Edward turned back to the mechanical odds and ends splayed out on the table.

“You’re an asshole.” You wish you could have swallowed your words before you said them.

Edward paused with the mechanical tinkering. He slowly turned to face you, his blue eyes cold and sharp. “I advise you to watch that mouth of yours, lest you forget who you’re talking to.”

You stood up straighter, “No. It’s true. You, Edward Nigma, sir, are an asshole.” 

Edward let the wrench fall out of his hands and clatter to the floor. He stood up, his fists clenched in on themselves. 

With your feet thinking for you, you bolted out of his workshop. 

Edward quickly followed suit, yelling for your attention, yet it fell on your deaf ears. You didn’t quite know where you were running to, but you just needed to escape that suffocating workshop. You just needed to escape Edward.

You flung open the closest door, closing it quickly. You turned around and your sigh of relief quickly turned into a sigh of annoyance. Of course it would be Edward’s room you stumbled into.

The door flew open, knocking you back. 

“What do you think you’re doing?!” Edward was furious with your recent actions.

“Noth-nothing! It was an honest mistake, I’m sor-”

Edward cut you off, “-I don’t want to hear your simple-minded excuses!”

He walked closer to you, giving you no choice but to walk backwards and away from him. He didn’t stop. He kept stalking closer to you, his sharp features twisted into fury. Your knees hit the back of his bed, knocking you on your ass on his mattress. Edward hovered over you.

“What do I have to do?” Edward shoved your shirt over your bra. “What do I have to say?” His gloved hands shoved your bra up, exposing your tits. 

You let out a meek gasp at his brazen actions, “Ed-!”

“-I am NOT finished!” He roughly groped your tits, kneading the pliable flesh under his gloves. 

“I let you in. I let you stay! I let you be a nuisance to me. I don’t know what more you want!” His hands slid down to your jeans, fumbling with the button and the zipper. 

“I… I just.. I…” your mind was a fogged mess. You couldn’t think straight. You and Edward were just arguing, and now? Now he had you on his bed, underneath him as he was undressing you. 

He, undressing you.

You couldn’t make sense of it, had the tension really built up this badly? 

“Well? Cat got your tongue?” He yanked your jeans down your hips. 

“No! No, I don’t know!” You muttered out.

Edward let out a sharp scoff, “that’s right, you don’t know. Your tiny little brain knows nothing!” 

You were shocked, to say the least, at the effect of his words. Usually they cut through you, stinging your soul, piercing your heart. But now? Now they went straight to your core, seeping out of you in shameful arousal between your thighs. 

“Pathetic. Look at you. Succumbing to such base and utterly filthy instincts.” Edward scowled at your now nude body underneath him. He scowled at the damp spot on his sheets.

Bold of him to point out your feelings, when his are showing quite well under his cargo pants. 

His gloved hands grabbed your knees, forcing your legs apart.

“Filthy. Utterly filthy, look at you! A wet, trembling mess.”

Your breathing picked up, the arousal burning your core. You bucked your hips upwards, in hopes of getting some kind of friction to your throbbing clit, or something to sink your aching cunt on. 

“Eddie–fuck!–please!” you whined. 

Edward undid his tool belt, tossing it aside. His question mark belt followed. He wasted no time in unbuttoning and unzipping his stained cargo pants. 

You bit back a moan at the sight of his cock. Thin and long, it mirrored him quite well. The tip was already flushed and leaking. Still with his gloves on, Edward grabbed his hard cock, giving it a few quick strokes as he braced himself against your warm, wet entrance. 

“You,” He thrust himself inside you, “have become quite the problem.” 

You finally let out the moan that was desperate to crawl out of your throat. 

Edward’s cock easily slid into your soaked cunt, his clothed hips meeting your exposed ones. Edward sighed, dropping over you, caging you into the mattress with his arms. 

“What have you done to me?” He mumbled in shallow breaths. 

Edward began thrusting into you slowly, clearly savoring the way your cunt gripped his cock, your soothing walls calming the ache in his shaft. He tangled his gloved hands into your hair, gripping tight, trying to ground himself. 

His tip kissed your cervix gently with every slow thrust Edward gave you. His tip slid against your G-spot with every soft drag out of you. His shaft stretched your walls just enough you felt full. It was pure ecstasy, and he was your dealer. 

Edward leaned closer into you, his lips brushing the shell of your ear. He was lost in you. His mind was quiet, he felt… good. For once, he actually felt like he was doing something right. His lips found your earlobe and he gave a gentle suck, eliciting a soft mewl from you.

“Eddie…”

“Shh. Just… Be quiet. Please?” He moved to your neck, peppering surprisingly soft kisses along your pulse point.

You obliged him, enjoying the feeling of finally having him where you want him. That ‘where’ being inside you. Being as vulnerable as he possibly can, with you. 

Edward moved away from you, rising up. He quickly pulled out of you.

“What’s wrong?” You were concerned you scared him off already. 

He didn’t say anything. Edward grabbed your hips, flipped you onto your stomach, raised your rear to meet his hips, and thrust into you again. 

You yelped in surprise. His thrusts picked up becoming harsher and faster. 

“Ah fuck! Eddie, Eddie slow down, wait!” 

“Shut up. Shut up, shut up, shut up!” He gripped you harsher, his thrusting becoming erratic. 

Edward felt his cock start twitching, his balls felt tighter with every thrust into your sopping cunt. Pleasure ran through your nerves, your own orgasm slowly building up. Edward lost rhythm as he chased his own release. 

You reached a hand in between your thighs, your fingers circling your neglected clit, working it fast in hopes to cum in tandem with Edward. Edward gave a final thrust, stilling inside you while he came with a heavy sigh.

You worked at your clit still, finally reaching your own climax just as Edward fully pulled out of you. Both of your release spilling from you and soaking his sheets. 

You collapsed onto your side. Flushed and breathing heavy, you look to a flustered Edward.

He cleared his throat, “Well. I have much work to attend to… So… I’ll just go do… that.” He quickly made himself decent, grabbed his belts and left you to clean and dress yourself. 

You stared at the open door in disbelief. 

You were far from satisfied with him. You finally had a taste, and now you had an insatiable hunger.