tangi-confessions

[tangi-confessions]

Your feminism is fake and pointless if it doesnt include trans and intersex people.

and yes, im talking about transfems, transmascs, nonbinaries, intersex trans people, intersex cis people, intersex cistrans people, people with xenogenders, people who use neopronouns, etc.

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"There's no such thing as exorsexism, it's just transphobia!" Ok. Sure. Go live in your little fantasy land.

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I remember a few years back when "society views trans people as whatever gender can be used to hurt them most in any given moment" was standard trans activism 101. Can we go back to that? Please?

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What some are trying to push is equating AGAB with "biological sex", a concept with no basis in reality, and that has no place in our conversations. There's no such thing as being "biologically fe/male", this is as much an artificial, man-made construct as gender is.

Dear followers, I usually don't correct people on the language they use regarding their queerness, because most times it doesn't make much difference. But there's a trend in conversations about transness online and offline that is very harmful, in my opinion. I'm talking about the over-emphasis put on AGAB terminology.

Even reputable sources of information frequently define transness as: "Not identifying with your AGAB". This definition is very simplistic and even exclusionary. There are trans people who identify, at least partially, with their Gender Assigned at Birth. There are intersex trans people who were assigned one gender, then another one later in life. There are people who weren't assigned a gender at all.

Another example, perhaps the most common one, is separating nonbinary people in "nonbinary AFAB" and "nonbinary AMAB" (as if it meant anything other than what a doctor said without regarding the actual organs you were born). Some people even demand to know our AGABs.

"AMAB/AFAB genitals/anatomy/organs"? What is that? Just say what you mean. "Raised AFAB or raised AMAB"? Not all people AFAB were raised as women, neither were all people AMAB raised as men. And please, don't use AMAB/AFAB as nouns. Your AGAB is not something you are, it's an event that was done to you (the act of being assigned a gender).

And yes, there are people AMAB who are transmasc, and prople AFAB who are transfem, and they are going anywhere. If one of our objectives as a community, the queer community, is to abolish gender assignment, why base our discussions around it? Why give so much weight to a piece of doccument which doesn't say anything on its own?

[tangi-confessions]

Dear followers, I usually don't correct people on the language they use regarding their queerness, because most times it doesn't make much difference. But there's a trend in conversations about transness online and offline that is very harmful, in my opinion. I'm talking about the over-emphasis put on AGAB terminology.

Even reputable sources of information frequently define transness as: "Not identifying with your AGAB". This definition is very simplistic and even exclusionary. There are trans people who identify, at least partially, with their Gender Assigned at Birth. There are intersex trans people who were assigned one gender, then another one later in life. There are people who weren't assigned a gender at all.

Another example, perhaps the most common one, is separating nonbinary people in "nonbinary AFAB" and "nonbinary AMAB" (as if it meant anything other than what a doctor said without regarding the actual organs you were born). Some people even demand to know our AGABs.

"AMAB/AFAB genitals/anatomy/organs"? What is that? Just say what you mean. "Raised AFAB or raised AMAB"? Not all people AFAB were raised as women, neither were all people AMAB raised as men. And please, don't use AMAB/AFAB as nouns. Your AGAB is not something you are, it's an event that was done to you (the act of being assigned a gender).

And yes, there are people AMAB who are transmasc, and prople AFAB who are transfem, and they are going anywhere. If one of our objectives as a community, the queer community, is to abolish gender assignment, why base our discussions around it? Why give so much weight to a piece of doccument which doesn't say anything on its own?

[tangi-confessions]

The thing that gets me about a "[ X ] group of people have it objectively worse than [ Y ] group of people" framing of oppression, marginalization, and struggle in general is that it's been proven to be ineffective because it is inherently anti-solidarity.

It always makes me think about my readings on prison abolition and prisoners rights. How the most productive work gets done towards abolition and restorative justice when solidarity is formed across racial, economic, religious, ethnic, and gender lines to recognize that even though the way the damage is inflicted varies it's all the same system causing the harm.

To frame someone's experience as objectively worse than another's is objectively antithetical to the core of a lot of restorative justice. In many ways it's just a continuation of the cycle of harm with a different coat of paint.

The only way any of us will be able to strive towards freedom and justice is if we stop dividing ourselves along the same lines our oppressors draw. It's very easy to recognize our differences while recognizing the ways our plights are connected.

[tangi-confessions]

Early or late "blooming" when it comes to being nonbinary is largely meaningless.

There's only what you need to do, when you need to do it.

So, live your life now.

[tangi-confessions]

"Nonbinary" is a destination all its own. The various identities that can exist in relation to it are also complete ways to be.

So, enjoy the wild freedom beyond binaries.

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when the organisation talking about "our trans brothers and sisters" is doing allyship workshops 🚩

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transmasculine erasure is a part of trans genocide. its not passive or ignorable, but fundamental to transphobic violence.

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Transandrophobia and intersexism are not trasfeminist values.

This site's queer sphere didn't change much through the years, did it? The people in here are still attacking each other like rabid dogs, and for what? To try and prove X group is more oppressed than Y group? Be it asexuals, aromantics, pansexuals, nonbinary people, intersex people, trans mascs and trans men. Those who engage in this divisive rethoric are not to be trusted. The main targets of queerphobic harassment in Tumblr right now are intersex people, nonbinary people , transmascs and trans man, expecially those who are PoC. And now, there are people harassing, discriminatiing and even doxxing people who disagree with their transandrophobic and intersexist beliefs.

I can't take this bullshit without saying anything, but perhaps my English vocabulary is still too limited to even descrive things I saw, or endured myself, here. Hundreds of bloggers, trans and cis alike, target teenagers in name of "transfeminism". This is not transfeminism. This is... I don't know what word to use here; "cowardly" or "evil" don't quite cut it. Sorry I coundnt polish a genial, extraordinary dissertation of discrimination among the Tumblr queer "community" in 2025, but certain things I am unable to talking about im succint and precise words. I'm tired, and those who actually care about the queer communitys well being are tired.

Anyway, if anyone who supports it is reading this post, please tell me: was that worth it? Did you avance queer liberation by dismissing, silencing, insulting, discrediting and abusing, your "TME" siblings? I don't think so. So fuck off with your so called "transfeminism".

[tangi-confessions]

i started transitioning recently and i really like the changes! the only thing i don't like is when people misgender "both" ways now. it's super frustrating.

Oh yes, it's very upsetting to being misgendered. Glad you are enjoying the changes in your transition, though. Hope you can become more at peace.

[tangi-confessions]

Just to let you know the idea of a gender trinary is exorsexist

Yes, this is exactly what I said?

[tangi-confessions]

fun little reminder that nonbinary people are trans! this means that a binary trans person realizing theyre nonbinary isn't detransitioning, and a nonbinary person realizing theyre binary trans isn't becoming 'really trans'. being nonbinary isn't a fucking placeholder for a binary gender and if you think so you can go fuck yourself

[tangi-confessions]

I'm tired of this already! And sometimes people even put it as a trinary: "transfem, transmasc and transneutral people"? Huh? Not everyone who isn't transfem or transmasc is transneutral either, we cant substitute the binary with a trinary!

"trans men and mascs" "trans women and femmes"

nonbinary people who are not aligned with the binary exist

there is a huge swath of the community you're ignoring by lumping everything back under the binary.

also. i need y'all to realize that the initial push to split out trans men from transmasculine and trans woman from transfeminine came from transmeds who didn't want to be associated with nonbinary people and who didn't think nonbinary identities were real or trans.

(obligatory, yes the current use isn't because of that, and there are non-exorsexist reason many people have for not wanting to be referred to as transfemme or transmasc, but you have to recognize the history of that pushback in the context that unaligned nonbinary people are left out of the conversation whenever those are the terms used to describe everyone in the community. that the exorsexist binary trans people who didn't want to be associated with enbies are granted more validity and visibility than the nonbinary people they were denying the existence of. that binary trans people are once again being prioritized over nonbinary ones.)

nonbinary people who are not aligned with the binary exist.

nonbinary people who are not aligned with the binary exist.

they also face the same problems that binary trans people do. include us.

trans men, mascs, and other nonbinary people. trans women, mascs, and other nonbinary people.

include us.

[tangi-confessions]

<3

The 2025 Gender Census is now open!

[ Link to survey ]

The 12th annual international gender census, collecting information about the language we use to refer to ourselves and each other, is now open until 30th August 2025.

It’s short and easy, for most participants it takes 5 minutes or less.

After the survey is closed I’ll process the results and publish a spreadsheet of the data and a report summarising the main findings. Then anyone can use them for academic or business purposes, self-advocacy, tracking the popularity of language over time, and just feeling like we’re part of a huge and diverse community.

If you think you might have friends and followers who’d be interested, please do reblog this blog post, and share the survey URL by email or at AFK social groups or on other social networks. Every share is extremely helpful!

Survey URL: https://survey.gendercensus.com

The survey is open to anyone anywhere who speaks English and feels that the gender binary doesn’t fully describe their experience of themselves and their gender(s) or lack thereof.

If you can't wait for survey numbers, you can click here for a public spreadsheet of non-secret info with graphs as it comes in, updated manually a few times per day.

Thank you so much!

[ Link to survey ]

[tangi-confessions]

Btw im not dead