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What the hell she drew a man

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I think I made this exact post before but every few months on social media someone will be like “OMGGGGGG I FOUND BONES BURIED IN MY CELLAR. I JUST CALLED THE COPS.” and the bones are so visibly (weathered) butchered cow bones or small animal bones. Not a single time is it a ‘they could be human…’ incident. Totally not the poster’s fault because I doubt the majority of people know human skeletal anatomy. Were people 120 years ago burying the remains of their barbecue rib dinner in the dirt floor of the cellar to freak people out in the future or something? No, but like, it seems like packing your walls and floors with trash was so common until like 30 years ago.

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I love you Sebago, I would die for you Sebago

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99% of nose-blowers quit right before the one rip where they hit their sinus cavity's resonant frequency and spend a solid 15 seconds blasting a thumb-sized wad of yellow phlegm straight out of their pineal gland and can suddenly smell colors

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russian speaking guy who is like "okay libs this is basic grammar: there are three genders"

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Tumbler you get to hear these two funny stories my dad told me

1) His freind was in a band touring, and they stopped at some dinner. He gets a price of toast (the freind) and is eating it and says ‘this toast ain’t right’ the server coms back a little bit later and goes ‘you know, you were right! There was a battery dripping onto the bread’

2) while he worked at an outdoor store, a kid came in with a hamster and went ‘I think my hamsters sick!’ And the hamster was very obviously sick. So my dad and his friend are trying everything they can to fix this hamster, but it dies. And the kid goes ‘yeah looks like he’s dead’ and walks out and leaves the hamster in the store.

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Maid cleaning a massive chateau surely belonging to the richest people you’ve ever seen, and as she’s walking from room to room you notice that every single portrait is of her

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Kitchen Knightmares

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I gotta love the ones who push something then go

‘Oh shit, lemme put that back’ and the last one who goes ‘I’ll just leave this here, okay?’

Cats getting caught doing crimes

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Want to draw my favorite deltarune post

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Me, Catholic, walking into a Protestant church with no depictions of Mary: where’s my mom

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Bad Decision

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the BEST THING about America is that one of their timezones is called mountain time. i cannot tell you how funny that is to me. it sure is always time for mountains in one fourth of america

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do you ever tell people you’ll be going to sleep but then you don’t and you have to not do anything noticable online for the sake of it seeming as if you didn’t lie to them

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@atlas-on-earth

I assume this is going to mean something to you, so I cast the all powerful spell of fucking mentioning you by tag

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tom felton saying he’s “not attuned” to JKR’s politics (despite the fact that she’s made it her entire personality) fucking loser.

we love you daniel, rupert, and emma!!!