the-anarchy-matrix

[the-anarchy-matrix]

Aizawa Shouta is a valid troll name

that is all.

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As someone who falls in hate pretty easily, I'd describe pitch feelings like a desire to beat someone, like.... They're infuriating, but in a way that feels invigorating??? I guess??

The main thing is that, unlike with platonic hate, part of it is the desire for reciprocation. They drive you mad, and you want to drive them mad just as much, and while you want to fight them, you also want them to fight back, and you want to improve to be able to beat them,,,, part of it is that it doesn't really work if you're not equals, since a part of the mess of emotions that is pitch crushes is some sort of,,,, not respect, exactly, but close enough??

Idk, its kinda hard to explain, but that's my take on it.

Quadrant-Based Attraction Model

The Quadrant system is the structure for romance established in the Homestuck webcomic. My intention with this post is to provide terminology for people who already use the Quadrant system in their romantic life. However, you are allowed to adopt this system if it is new to you and you find it appealing. If you’d like to read more about what’s already been established, the in-comic explanation starts here and a wikipedia page on the system is here.

Anyway, onto the terms.

Flushed (or) Matespritic Attraction: An attraction similar to our current definition of Romantic Attraction. Characterised by feelings of romantic love, and / or sexual attraction. Some gestures of Flushed affection may include hugs, kisses, and sex.

Pale (or) Moirallegic Attraction: An attraction founded on a desire to support, protect, and form a commited and deep emotional relationship with a person. Some gestures of Pale affection may include Hugs, Papping (ie patting / caressing intended to calm a person), and Jamming (Sessions of emotional vulnerability).

Pitch (or) Kismesic Attraction: An attraction founded on a simultaneous hatred and respect for another person. You could think of a Pitch relationship like a committed rivalry that takes on characteristics of a romantic relationship. Like Matespritic attraction, there can (but doesn’t necessarily have to) be a sexual component to Kismesic attraction.

(I personally feel like I’m not qualified to define how a Pitch relationship looks beyond this, as I do not experience or understand Pitch attraction myself. I don’t want to disclude it from this model though, so I will leave it up to those who want to use the term to differentiate between a healthy and an unhealthy pitch relationship. Abusive relationships are not Kismesic relationships and I strongly discourage you from using this label for relationships or attractions which are harmful to you.)

Ashen (or) Auspistic Attraction: An attraction founded on a desire to help two other people maintain a healthy relationship + prevent them from developing a toxic or otherwise unhealthy dynamic. Ashen gestures towards others in the relationship could include breaking up / preventing fights and helping to defuse feelings of anger.

These definitions are all flexible, and you’re free to define each type of attraction however suits you, personally, best. You are also free to decide what gestures of affection and affectionate terminology you would like to use in regards to your attraction, and it doesn’t have to match up with what I’ve posited here.

You can also decide whether you consider all of these attraction-types romantic, whether you consider some platonic / queerplatonic / alterous, or whether you consider them completely seperate, etc. You are also under no obligation to adhere to or label any or all of these types of attraction.

Each kind of attraction can be towards specific genders, EG being “Panmatespritic” or “Akismesic.”

Anyway, I think that covers everything. Thanks for reading and feel free to use these terms / the flags I’ve linked wherever you want. If you make a post using any of the flags on Tumblr I’d love to be tagged so I can see it, otherwise feel free to use them whenever with or without credit.

MATESPRITSHIP / MOIRALLEGIANCE / KISMESISSITUDE / AUSPISTICISM

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Tell us your opinions about auspisticism and/or fave ashen pairings. This quadrant deserves more love

Okay this is even longer than my usual long posts so it’s going under a cut.

Keep reading

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These are some nice cats.

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If I had nails long enough for polish, I'd say 'mood'

putting on my emotional support black nail polish

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As a dragon, I can confirm that dragons are the best subjects to draw

always a good day to draw a dragon

X

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I might just be sleep deprived, but- why tf do i have 2 b stuck w the lame hallucinations???

Like,,,,, instead of hearing voices or w/e, I'm just being driven crazy by these stupid phone alarms!!

I seriously feel like I wanna bash my head in the wall or smthn 2 make these stupid trumpets shut the fuck up

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Im not a person

Im a bunch of loose personality traits in a trench coat

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okay i just had another thought:

what would aliens think of otherkin/therians?

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So, i might be thinking strange because i didn’t sleep last night- but I had a Thought: Is Jesus Odin?

like, Odin had that thing where he sacrificed himself to himself in order to gain power or something like that, and in some sects of christianity they believe that jesus is also god, so then he’d be sacrificing himself to himself right?

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sometimes when i refer to myself by a different gender than my birth sex, my brain lags for a second and i think ‘oh shoot i misgendered myself. whoops.’, then i remember- ‘oh right, im agender. im allowed to use different pronouns’.

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every time i listen to “you’re a mean one mr. grinch” i can’t help but sit there and think “what did the grinch do to hurt you?” because dude just stands there for 2 minutes and 58 seconds and drags the grinch into the dirt

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me

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So I finally got around to watching hamilton, and for some reason my minds being stupid and wont shut up about hamilton x burr?? Like even when aaron burr was all like ‘oh i f***ing hate him!’ I was all like ‘omg! they hate each other! so cute! Kismesis goals, am i right?’ and it’s like... no??? Why is my brain doing that thing??

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New Years Eve

Notes: I’m sorry that I haven’t updated the other story. Hope this is a half decent apology lmao. Trigger warning for drinking and smoking. Virgil is agender (it/them), Roman is bigender (she/him), and Janus is cisgender (he/him). I might write a second part to have a less sad ending but yeah.

Word count: 1692 words

Archive of Our Own Version

——————

Letting out a breath of smoke into the sky from the balcony, Janus wondered for the hundredth time if he should even bother going to the party. It’d be a waste of time. Familiar faces he didn’t want to see, but at the very least, there’d be plenty to drink, and no one would question why.

Janus found himself drunk a lot of the time, actually. More often than he’d like to admit, and more often than even Remus could guess. Not that everyone else knew, Janus was all too good at hiding it, so long as no one was close enough to smell the alcohol on him. It wasn’t too hard to avoid when he rarely left his room either.

Shaking the thought away, he let the cigarette slip from his fingers, watching as the embers slowly died out with the rushing air as it plummeted to the ground. It wouldn’t start a fire. Not unless he willed it so. He had considered it momentarily, but ultimately decided against it. It wasn’t worth it. No amount of arson would fix things, and no amount of denial would make everything fade away, no matter how hard Janus tried. With slow steps, he slipped away from the balcony, into his room to get ready to go. Soon enough, Remus bounced into his room, asking if he was ready to go, and they headed to the ‘light’ sides part of the mind palace.

The music was rather loud for it being so early, only nine, and they were going to be there until at least one in the morning. Janus didn’t mind that, going to find drinks first before trying to socialize. Ultimately, by the time it was ten, he’d mostly stuck around Remus, sharing awkward glances with Virgil throughout the night. He should’ve talked to them—he knew that, it was the only chance at fixing things. But honestly? Janus didn’t even know if he wanted to fix things anymore. Not if Virgil didn’t want to try either. Besides, he didn’t need them.

Before the first hour could pass, they had started up party games, Janus well on his third drink as Roman asked him a simple ‘truth or dare.’ “Dare,” Janus answered blankly, staring into his plastic cup and tapping his fingers lightly on it, waiting for an answer before downing the rest of it.

“I dare you...” Roman glanced around, looking for an idea, “jump down from the top step over the railing,” she shrugged. It wasn’t all that interesting, but there wasn’t much that was interesting when they were capable of practically anything with minor consequences. Janus gave a curt nod and stood up, heading to the top of the stairs and pulling himself over the ledge before jumping down. The landing wasn’t that successful, aided by the drinking, so he had stumbled a bit before regaining his balance. “Ree, truth or dare?”

“Snakey-baby, you know better than to ask,” Remus answered, a faux softness to his voice.

“Great, so truth. What’s the real reason you dragged me to this party, Ree?” he asked, clearly bitter about it.

Remus breathed out quietly. “Jan you know I meant dare.”

“I dare you to answer the question.”

“That’s not—fine. I’m tired of seeing you tear yourself apart. You needed to get the hell out of your room. You can’t waste the rest of your life there,” Remus answered.

Janus pursed his lips in response, muttering a “your turn” under his breath and looking down again. What he hadn’t expected was for Remus to turn to Virgil for the next one. Remus and Janus had practically avoided asking Virgil so far—knowing full well that if Virgil picked truth, it wouldn’t go anywhere good. Worse is that Virgil did indeed answer with “truth.” Remus paused for a second. “I was hoping you’d pick dare,” he muttered honestly, before trying to think of a truth. Dares were easy for him to come up with, being intrusive thoughts and all.

“I got one,” Janus piped up, earning a hissed protest of his own name from Remus that fell on deaf ears. “Is it true that it’s my fault you left?”

Virgil frowned at the question. “Of course not, Janus.”

“Then how come you never visit?” he asked. “Is it just that... quite frankly I’m not worth it? Please, enligh—“

“Okay! Game time over,” Roman spoke, clasping his hands together. “Who wants to help me bring out the deserts and we’ll watch a movie for a while, yeah?” Remus had jumped up at the opportunity, mostly not wanting to be a part of the awkwardness between Janus and Virgil. It didn’t take long to get set up, mainly because Remus didn’t bother arguing about a movie—Roman would rig the votes anyway. Janus and Virgil had sat on opposite sides of the couch, both of them getting a few more drinks than necessary. They stopped the movie a little short, wanting to watch the time change across different places.

Janus stood up, slipping into the kitchen and setting his cup on the counter. He had had too much to drink already, knowing better than to get more if he wanted to remember anything by the next morning. He sighed, tossing the cup into the trash and leaning back on the counter, gripping the edge lightly, wondering shortly if it’d be any easy to leave. He could hear shouting and laughter coming from the nearby room, but at the same time, he didn’t feel as though he could actually hear it. Everything felt too loud and too quiet at once, so he had managed to miss a giggling Virgil stumbling through the door way, spilling a bit of their drink as they walked through. Great, Virgil was absolutely shit-faced.

“Hey Janny,” it slurred, leaning on a nearby chair for balance. The room was spinning. Merely sighing, Janus stepped over, going to help Virgil back to the living room, but Virgil stepped back a bit, holding out his hand forward and shaking his head. “Too loud in there,” he blubbered.

“Then I’ll take you to your room, but if you keep leaning on that chair like that, you’re gonna slam your face into the fridge.” Practically as predicted, Virgil’s hand slipped forward, his eyes going wide for a short moment before Janus caught him.

Breathing out softly, Virgil’s eyes flickered across Janus’s face, before its eyes landed on the little leaf decoration in the doorway. It grinned, something that didn’t look anything like Virgil’s normal grin, too drunk to care. “Janny, they must’ve forgotten to take down the mistletoe,” it slurred, leaning forward and pressing a messy but soft kiss to Janus’s lips before he even had a chance to respond. Janus hadn’t even shut his eyes yet by the time it was over, in a little shock, and unable to savor the moment. “I missed you,” Virgil mumbled. “I know you’ve missed me too,” they added quietly, resting their head on Janus’s chest, eyes fluttering shut.

“I don’t love you anymore,” he murmured quietly, most trying to convince himself of that, especially after that kiss. He repeated it a couple of times, whispered and breathy while tears pricked his eyes, and once he said it clearly for the first time, loud enough to at least be heard over the other’s, he shifted to lift up Virgil, who was practically asleep standing up. He blinked several times, trying to blink away the tears and slipping by unnoticed by the rest of the sides, even as he carried Virgil off. He slipped into Virgil’s room, oddly not too hard to do (Virgil was rather light after all, concerningly so), before setting them on their bed. He pulled up the blankets over Virgil, watching them adjust into their space before slipping out of the room, gently shutting the door and letting out a quiet huff. “I don’t love you anymore,” he repeated, starting to walk away. He knew better than to mention the kiss to anyone, even Remus. Remus would blabber about it, accidentally or on purpose, and Janus knew Roman and Virgil had something going on. If he ruined that... well, it was definitely much more worth suffering knowing Virgil was at least happy.

Janus walked back into his room, slipping off his bow tie and pulling it off, setting it on the desk before taking off his hat as well. He rested his hands on the table in front of him, staring down at it and hunching up his shoulders, doing his best not to let tears fall. He was oh-so-lucky to hear knocking on his door. It certainly wasn’t Remus—he never walked. “Come in,” he called, wiping nearing tears in his eyes with his thumb quickly.

He hadn’t expected Virgil to already be stumbling out of their room, opening the door and leaning on the door frame with a soft pout. “I didn’t want you to leave tonight,” Virgil admitted. “Stay? Please? I’ll talk to the others and we can... we can all be together again,” they choked out, lip quivering visibly.

Janus already knew if he said or did the wrong thing it’d be waterworks for hours, until Virgil passed out. So instead, he merely agreed, whatever Virgil wanted, and went to bring it back to bed. He stepped over, expecting to bring Virgil back to their own room, but Virgil slipped right past him, climbing into Janus’s bed and cuddling into the blanket. “... You know I never wanted to hurt you right?” it asked quietly. “I just thought it’d make me happier...”

“I know, Virgil. Hush now dear,” he murmured softly, pulling a chair up next to his bed. “Sleep, okay? We can talk about it in the morning,” he suggested lightly, shutting off the lamp.

They wouldn’t talk about it the next day, actually. Or anytime soon. And Janus would hope to whatever God or gods there may be that Virgil wouldn’t remember the kiss, wouldn’t say anything about the kiss, and they could forget it. Virgil wouldn’t forget, but it never dared to mention it, their relationships to fragile to dare.

——————

Tag list:

@genderfluidmoma

@youremotionallystablefriend

@sinuous-scakt

@alinatheanimelover

Let me know if you want to be added!

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Okay, so.

My brain is a shitpost generator, and I just wanted this out there:

‘If you give a bee a mustache...‘

‘He will be happy, because he has a mustache.‘

(gives him a mustache)

‘Oh no! Bee is Anger-y‘

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Turns of Phrase

Prompt: I’d like you to consider: all the sides in the mindscape have the “way too literal” problem, like for example, Virgil actually grows taller when his anxiety is heightened, Patton actually grows wings when Thomas has a ‘heart aflutter’, e.c.t. But Roman just has a huge stack of negative ones. Creative block, bruised ego, shackled creativity, e.c.t. And then there’s h/c when somebody (Logan) sees 👀👀

Thanks for the prompt babe!

Read on Ao3

Warnings: self-doubt, self-esteem issues, Roman whump

Pairings: LAMP, DLAMP, DLAMPR, can be platonic or romantic you decide

Word Count:  5722

This is Roman’s fault. Really. It is. He’s the one who works the closest with the Imagination, which means he’s got control over how Thomas interacts with his own imagination, which means that he’s got control over how Thomas sees the Sides.

So yeah. This is his fault.

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