the-consortium

[the-consortium]

Found Fabius' cologne.

He totally smells unethical.

[the-consortium]

Apparently Briaeus got himself a Tindr/Grindr-profile.

Now Arrian has to carry him to shady bars to meet sexy Servo Skulls in his area.

@legiopraesagio found that pic. 😁

[the-consortium]

100% spherical Paz'uz.

Inspired by this:

[the-consortium]

Dear Mr Fabius

Would you rather be trapped in a room with 100 clones of flavius alkenex without escape or! A room with 100 lamps. You can turn them on and off (the lamps) but you cannot leave either room and must spend 1000 years in either room without destroying the occupants or yourself.

Additionally, do you have any tips on what to make sure to study as an apothecary in training?

‘That's quite philosophical!’ Duco looks delighted at the datapad with the stolen communication, and turns it back and forth to make the display jump. - ‘Noob. That's quite under the influence of substances!’ Oleander just waves his hand dismissively.

‘Who am I to question the drug experience of an Emperor's Children!’ Duco feigns humility without being credible for even a heartbeat. Oleander snorts amusedly.

The two Apothecaries are silent for a few seconds. High above Urum, on one of the old platforms that probably offered a breathtaking view of moving gardens and undulating architecture in the days of the Eldar, and are now nothing more than grey-beige ruins, parts of which are constantly breaking off and falling with a dry crash into the deep gorges between the towers.

Finally, the Night Lord suggests, ‘We should consult Saqqara. This sounds like his area of expertise.’ - ‘What? Alkenex, or the lamps, or our esteemed employer's reaction to monotony?’ - ‘All of the above.’

Oleander shrugs his shoulders in one fluid motion, brushing a strand of hair from his forehead. ‘You don't need a Word Bearer for that. Fabius thrives on conflict and strife. He needs it like air to breathe. Of course he would argue with the friendly Prefector for a thousand years. The likelihood that Flavius - all of the clones - would cry rather than our Chief Apothecary is quite high.’

Duco nods seriously, expertly types in the noo-mail code stolen from Fabius, and begins writing with cheerful energy.

"The whole thing with the lamps seems puzzling, but it's certain that Alkenex, even if he's not particularly bright (lamp joke, you see), is preferable as company. After all, he has measurable brain waves. As for training, it's difficult to get adequate education in this chaotic region of the galaxy these days. Although, from what I've observed, it seems to be even worse in the more religiously confused part of the galaxy – the Imperium and its strange obsession with stagnation. Mysticism and superstition everywhere! It is advisable to look for older texts or seek out a mentor whose experience goes back further than Abaddon's last power walk to Terra."

With a satisfied expression, a claw-like fingernail taps ‘send’.

Then both Apotheacries watch again in harmonious, slightly smoke-filled silence as decay does its work around them.

[the-consortium]

is eidolon fulgrims labubu

I have no idea about this labubu-thing and at this point I am afraid to ask.

A short trip down image-search gave bunny-keychain?

[the-consortium]

Dear Mr Fabius

Question 1

How do you sanitize your lab coat

Question 2

How do you take care of the leather on your lab coat

Question 3

How many lab coats have you gone through. How time intensive is it to make a new one

‘It's not a damn lab coat – it's a fashion statement!’ Duco's aggressively hunched shoulders and clenched teeth compensate for what his genes deny him with the lack of expression in his black eyes: it's perfectly clear who he's parodying here!

Oleander laughs, chokes on the smoke and, with a short, barking cough, hands the heretical tobacco pipe back to the Night Lord. The latter waves the datapad with the inbox and continues to escalate his imitation of the Chief Apothecary.

With a contemptuous shake of his head, he lifts his pointed chin.

"Really! What do people think? That I walk around with something like this out of pure vanity?‘ Just because he can, he adds Fabius' favourite punctuation mark, ’So!" Then he takes the pipe from Oleander, completely unimpressed by the supposed relic of his gene-father.

Oleander leans back, letting his gaze wander over the tooth-stump aesthetics of the old world. He breathes in deeply, taking in the dusty smell of the past.

‘But seriously. I really do wonder what he thinks he's doing with that thing. He only uses it to make others feel uncomfortable when he shows up with it. He doesn't do surgeries in it if he can avoid it. He doesn't even like the thing.’

Duco shrugs. Purple smoke billows from between his pointed teeth as he exhales. "The Chief Apothecary is such a better son of Fulgrim than you, my friend! He has drama in his bones. That's why he keeps the thing, repairs it, and makes sure it looks nice and disgusting. People see it, people fear it. Even more than Torment. Here in the Eye, everyone and their dog has a demonic weapon. But a coat like this shows that you mean business."

The Night Lord taps the ‘Re’ symbol and types quickly.

"1 - Not at all. This is all nature and needs to be cared for, not destroyed. 2 - Grease (Grox grease works, but for best results, use the grease of an Imperial cleric), water-proof with treated Plaguebearer acid in reliably bad weather. 3 - Does the Ship of Theseus mean anything to you?"

With a satisfied sound, he presses send.

Oleander takes the pipe back from him. ‘At some point, he'll find out that we always reply to his fan mail, and that'll be the day he kills us all.’

Duco laughs.

[the-consortium]

Arrian is such a cutie patootie! I just wanna squish his cheeks!💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

Saqqara wrote this.

And he's right!

[the-consortium]

Stand where?

i stand with my cancelled wife (fabius bile)

[the-consortium]

Certified Oleander Koh - Fabius Bile-interaction.

[the-consortium]

[the-consortium]

Marine Meat Monday: Arrian Zorzi again.

This man. And his talkative Dog Brothers. Because who says you can't hold a strong opinion just because your squadmate removed your head during the Siege of Terra?

[the-consortium]

I can't even say what's the best part here - the expression, the hat, the shirt or Paz'uz drooling in happy hopes of baked goods raining down on him.

I love it so much!

This was a birthday gift for one of the best people I could come across on the interwebs and who I now happily count as my friend:

@tagedeszorns thank you for showing me the awesome & weird sides of Warhammer and making me like that old grumper, Fabius Bile (and other EC ;) )!

It is always a pleasure to discuss lore and unhinged stuff with you :) and I simply looooove your art!!! 🐼🩵🩷

[the-consortium]

My Fabius Playlist:

So, for a lot of reasons I won't go into here, this album means a lot to me. Suffice it to say, it's kept me company through some unpleasant times in my life. Anyway, for those interested in such things, it's also the unofficial soundtrack to the Fabius Bile series.

I listened to this album on a loop while writing all three. Tracks 2 and 7, in particular, helped shape how I wrote Bile. Track 4 was in heavy rotation during the edits to Manflayer. Track 9? Fabius talking to any of his old comrades in the EC. Track 10 was any interaction between Fabius and Arrian.

Anyway, if you're up for it, I recommend listening to the album while you read. Or not. I'm not your momma.

Bonus Track: Original Recipe Fulgrim (from Manflayer)

[the-consortium]

Staring down at his autopsy incision like it's cleavage

[the-consortium]

Well, Fabius mentioned his redemption arc from his "sadistic era" around the Siege to whatever era he is in right now. Caustic bitch era, most likely.

He seems very confident that it's better now, so it's a redemption arc, technically.

That's a redemption arc I like in Warhammer. From one kind of horror to another.

“this character should get a redemption arc” in warhammer? in warhammer? explain to me in detail what a redemption arc looks like in warhammer. explain it to me. explain. redemption. warhammer.

[the-consortium]

Saqqara is very offended by the new towels Fabius put up in the Consortium's bathrooms.

(@legiopraesagio found the great towels)

[the-consortium]

Narvo Quin got a new shirt and he's feeling it every day he has to deal with Bellephus and Savona.

Bonus: One of Quin's hunting dogs!