the-trees-have-roots

[the-trees-have-roots]

be careful with what series you watch/read during emotional points in your life because they will forever contain a ghost of your past self within it now

[the-trees-have-roots]

Me just trying to have a normal day when the gay men in my head are getting down bad for each other.

Can yall stop for two seconds

[the-trees-have-roots]

Shout out to the systems that went through a “I’m fiction kin, oh also im gender fluid, and.. sexuality fluid? My face looks weird but I’m just gonna ignore it. I just have a bad memory, it’s nothing. Why does my name not feel right anymore? I wish I could just wear wigs everyday.” Kind of phase

And all the systems that had a “I refuse to call myself anything other than fiction kin until further notice,OR EVER” phase

[the-trees-have-roots]

”I want to know your headcount” “I want to know who’s fronting” so do I, get in line

[the-trees-have-roots]

Happy new years!

Cheers to a plural future where every system can go by "we" without a single person batting an eye!

To fakeclaiming subreddits dying and getting banned!

To the end of serial killer alter stereotypes!

To the end of ableism!

[the-trees-have-roots]

Me when I was a "singlet": I wonder if my system friends think it's cheesy when I say "ya'll" or "you guys" to them.

Me knowing I'm a system, after someone just referred to us as "you guys":

[the-trees-have-roots]

Having insys partners is great but also when you're cofronting, being physically affectionate can just look like this.

I'm holding your hand but it's also my hand and yeah that's poetic but it's so fucking funny.

[the-trees-have-roots]

You’re allowed to be broken. A lot of people say “you’re not broken” as a response when some people feel broken. But for some of us, that doesn’t help us because we genuinely believe we’re broken.

So here is your reminder that if you feel you’re broken, that’s okay. You aren’t any less worthy. And you can still experience good things and heal.

[the-trees-have-roots]

"my trauma wasn't bad enough i can't be a system"

whenever I hear people say this I always wonder, what metric are you using? your tolerance for how things affect you now as a teenager, or adult?

something that you experienced as a child is going to use a completely different metric! a child's brain is much less developed than an adult's and what they're able to handle is much less. for instance maybe you like horror movies? you probably can watch them without even getting scared! but if you watched the same film at 7 years old it would likely be a lot different!!

you don't need extreme trauma in order to have DID. it just needed to be extreme enough to YOU as a child, that's all. You got bullied at school? that's enough to develop DID! you had a disorder from an early age that made life hard? that's enough to develop DID! your parents were neglectful? that's enough to develop DID!

there's no such thing as gold star DID you don't need to have gone through the worst of the worst. there's no need for trauma olympics, if you have DID you have DID and that's all!

[the-trees-have-roots]

What they don't tell you about DID is that almost everything is just vibes. Literally just vibes. System mapping, inner world, knowledge about alters in general - vibes.

[the-trees-have-roots]

One of our (newer) introjects was staring at our face in the mirror for about 10 minutes. I asked him if he was okay, and he said something I thought I should share, ‘cause it might resonate with some of ya’ll. “This face is wrong. All of this is wrong. None of this looks like it should. But there’s something in our eyes that looks like me.”

[the-trees-have-roots]

having DID with a disability is basically

System: hey we have a disability. This means we should take it easy and listen to our body's limits! We'll feel better if we take care of ourselves. If we push it too much it can have a lot of consequences. :)

Alter that holds internalized abelism: this doesn't apply to me actually and also you're wrong

[the-trees-have-roots]

A system is a collection of alters. Alters are chronically dissociated self states, with different neurological pathways that often are accompanied by a varying degree of amnesia. Dissociation is caused by stress/trauma. Alters are a byproduct of dissociating from trauma. You can’t dissociate from trauma you do not have. You cannot dissociate without trauma. You cannot have alters without trauma. You cannot have a system without alters.

You cannot be a system without trauma.

Do you have to know about the trauma ? No. Does it have to be a certain type of trauma ? No. Does it need to be a certain severity ? No. It just needs to have occurred during critical developmental period of the brain. Before the ego states have stitched together, it must be chronic, and beyond the child’s stress threshold, otherwise it will not disrupt the developmental growth. This is different for everyone. The reason trauma cannot be listed as a diagnostic criteria, is because there is no “xyz trauma that causes dissociative disorders”. It’s completely unique to each person suffering from the disorder. And in often cases, the person suffering from the disorder isn’t aware of their trauma. That’s the point of the disorder. This does not mean you don’t need trauma to suffer from a dissociative disorder. Systems are byproducts of dissociative disorders, you cannot be a byproduct of a disorder you do not have.

Endos are not systems. What do I mean by this? I mean that, by definition, that term is not suited for them, and is not meant to describe them. Just like kinning doesn’t mean you’re a system, just like roleplaying doesn’t mean you’re a system, just like religious practises such as tulpamancy isn’t a system. You are perfectly free to do whatever you please, truly. But do not compare it to being a system. You do not share our experiences. You are a different community entirely, and that’s ok.

But please, for the love of god, stop invading our community, and stop spreading misinformation about an already stigmatised and misunderstood disorder.

I understand if you didn’t know better. But please, educate yourself, and stop spreading this misinformation. Being a system isn’t an identity. It’s not a label. And please, stop comparing it to being queer. This is a mental illness. Being queer is not a mental illness.

[the-trees-have-roots]

hey. person who is recovering from childhood trauma. when you talk about things that have happened to you, you do not need to add a million caveats about how "my parents tried their best" or "it wasn't that bad" or "I had plenty of good times along with the bad". you do not have to make yourself feel guilty for just saying "yeah that sucks". I believe you. it did suck. it should never have happened. and you do not need to mentally apologise to your parents for saying so

[the-trees-have-roots]

hope is a skill

[the-trees-have-roots]

here’s to everyone hitting a low point after doing really well. you’re amazing and so strong and your hard work is not erased. you will find happiness again

[the-trees-have-roots]

fucking hate it when the stuff everybody says "actually works" does actually work.

hate exercising and realizing i've let go of a lot of anxiety and anger because i've overturned my fight-or-flight response.

hate eating right and eating enough and eating 3 times a day and realizing i'm less anxious and i have more energy

hate journaling in my stupid notebook with my stupid bic ballpoint and realizing that i've actually started healing about something once i'm able to externalize it

hate forgiving myself hate complimenting myself more often hate treating myself with kindness hate taking a gratitude inventory hate having patience hate talking to myself gently

hate turning my little face up to the sun and taking deep breaths and looking at nature and grounding myself and realizing that i feel less burdened and more hopeful, more actually-here, that i am able to see the good sides of myself more clearly, that i am able to see not only how far i have to grow - but also how much growth i have already done & how much of my life i truly fill with light and laughter and love

horrible horrible horrible. hate it but i'm gonna do it tho