the-unstable-lunatic

[the-unstable-lunatic]

My heart's resounding,

The rose is already dead

Your eyes are closed,

While you lay there in my bed.

I begin to realize that,

I can still see the ocean within,

I can still feel its depth!

1st Dec 2021, 1:21 AM

[the-unstable-lunatic]

UNDESTINED GRAVE

I see you go, as I stay

This unknown ground,

Is where I shall lay

I take one last glance,

As I try to bury my heart,

I Strike another, I tear it apart.

The familiar crust

Has unfamiliar souls

Trapped in this hell,

Waiting to be whole

The heart I striked

Didn't shed a drop

All I could tell

It had known pain enough

My heart's in my hand

I am wondering what if

The same fate is what

My soul shall meet!

25th Feb 2022, 9:45 PM

[the-unstable-lunatic]

FORGED LIBERATION

I gaze across these piled up bodies

To watch the innocent souls that I killed

As I pour profound regrets to myself,

I hear his voice demanding

“Find more souls that need to heal”

Embodiment of these screams

Show up at my doorsteps, unexpected

Struggling to personify my old self

That I buried to get to me

Blood drenching from my words,

Made its way up to my brimming sea,

He wonders,

“Have I done this the wrong way?”

I couldn’t care less, I just feel free.

24th Dec 2021

2:47 PM

[the-unstable-lunatic]

SPIRIT OF THE HILLS

Leaves abandoning the trees,

While we hope to be fine,

There’s a certain presence around

Reminding me of the simpler times.

The trees, the clouds, the gentle daylight,

Neither dim nor too bright.

I was surrounded by the hills,

Every little thing was adding to its feel,

The trees were soaring up high,

Shooting up towards the sky!

I wonder if I’ll always be this way,

I wonder if I could keep it at bay,

Regrets tend to take over

As it keeps going on,

Adding up to the unending troubles

Adding to the constant pain,

Hoping for a better tomorrow,

While stressing to oblivion

Hoping for the summer rain!

I’m wondering now, if I can be

Amidst the hills again!

22nd May 2021, 11:17 PM

[the-unstable-lunatic]

DREADFUL DREAMS

Is she even real?

Or is she just a dream?

Coz if she were here,

Couldn’t she hear me scream?

Oh, I’m tired of this

I’m tired of it all

I’ve started hating myself,

I’ve started hating these walls

If you were the light,

I was only a moth,

Was I ever attracted?

Or were you the only one I got?

I want this to end,

But I gotta give it a shot

I’ve always tried to be honest,

Or was it what I thought.

Did I give up too easily?

Did I even try?

I always ended up being

The one who made you cry.

Was I even worthy?

Did I even deserve it?

These memories I made with you,

I’ll always preserve it.

I wonder what I ever did to receive this

I wonder why I flinched,

When I gave you the kiss.

I don’t know what my problem is,

I don’t know what’s wrong with me,

I’ve got nowhere to go, no one to miss,

I just want you to let me be.

- 12th May 2020, 10:44 PM

[the-unstable-lunatic]

I realise I’ve hurt more than I know

I know you’ve been broken more than you show

I’m afraid of what’s coming to me

My younger self, where’s he?

He’s my inspiration,

Had a concrete dedication

Where’s my determination?

My life’s being scary,

It's an abomination.

I only want me, to make you glow

I’ll do it one day, even if I’m slow

My self esteem I know that’s low,

I can see myself ending in slow-mo,

But that doesn’t mean that I’d bow,

Determination is the seed that I should sow

My mind has rotten, and I can’t tell

If it’s still my friend or my foe!

The pieces of me are lost and scattered,

In time, I didn’t do the things that mattered,

Now, even if all the pieces i’ve gathered,

It’s of no use as they’re broken and splattered!

Can I still be the one I was trying to be?

Can I still be the one, the old me?

Can I make myself rise above the sea?

Or will I drown, only hoping I could be?

21st Feb 2018, 2:33 AM

[the-unstable-lunatic]

"DETAINED EXISTENCE"

Staring at the heavens

In the dead of the night

I can see no stars,

Have they gone that far?

I can not see the moon,

Did it quit so soon?

Maybe they’re invisible to me,

Maybe they’ve changed colours

I can’t spot them from the tiny window,

Well, is my window the cause?

If that is, I’m at a great loss.

I’m stuck here in this room,

Can’t see the stars or the moon,

Is this a bane or a boon?

I wish I could break these walls in a boom.

In this dusk, I can see nobody,

Not a single being,

Everyone’s asleep during the night.

Is that still a thing?

Well, I can never go to sleep,

My mind, it’s thinking too deep.

I’ve seen the night being beautiful

I’ve noticed it making me cheerful

All I can see now is the darkness

The city street lights from this peak

This isn’t the crest i wanted to be in

I can feel my unlit side growing under

I wish I could stop this blunder

The way positive I used to be,

The more bleak I’m, this isn’t me

I want to change but my spirit just died

This all started because I lied

I was on the way to fly

Now, I’m just drifting in the sky

With no hope in me,

No tear left to cry

I’ve got nowhere to go,

My self esteem that’s low.

- 23rd Jan 2018, 3:23 AM

[the-unstable-lunatic]

TOXIC CONCEPT

The thoughts in my head,

They had me shivering,

There’s no absolute happiness

To discover as a human being.

It’s as if you’re held

In a cold, dark place;

If my life’s a card game,

I’ve already used my ace!

The dreams that I had,

No longer have an impact;

I wish I could control time,

Wish I could have it all hacked.

My heart is already tired

Trying to glue and fix itself,

I don’t like sharing my feelings

But I can no longer keep it to myself!

My weary eyes are fed up,

Worn out from disclosing my pain

Of a life that’s unconventional

With not a thing left to gain!

I’ve been sick of losing my breath,

All that’s left now, is my death!

- 18th Jan 2017, 11:10 PM

[the-unstable-lunatic]

DEALING WITH MYSELF

I know I’m alive,

But I can’t feel my heart;

There’s a dead feeling inside, 

My soul’s ready to depart.

I wonder if details matter,

To explain my state;

It can’t be helped now,

I’m way too late.

I no longer play the victim, 

But I do end up getting hurt;

These feelings inside of me

Will eventually get along with dirt.

I continue to hurt myself, 

By doing things I shouldn’t

I have tried by best to fix this

But I realized that I couldn’t.

I’ve never known how to deal

With the normal situations in life’

Oh, my life, it has never been normal

I’ve been living on the edge of a Knife!

4th Jan 2017, 1:15 AM