the-villain-complex

[the-villain-complex]

I wonder if my partners are better off without me. They keep telling me that I’m not abusive but I just feel like I have to be. I’ve been abused my entire life so I don’t know where I would’ve learned to be a decent partner from. I don’t want to hurt them like how I’ve been hurt

[the-villain-complex]

“I had a room to myself as a kid, but my mother was always quick to point out that it wasn’t my room, it was her room and I was merely permitted to occupy it. Her point, of course, was that my parents had earned everything and I was merely borrowing the space, and while this is technically true I cannot help but marvel at the singular damage of this dark idea: That my existence as a child was a kind of debt and nothing, no matter how small, was mine. That no space was truly private; anything of mine could be forfeited at someone else’s whim.”  ― Carmen Maria Machado, In the Dream House

[the-villain-complex]

Fun fact, they actually were interested in me, I just had to admit to them how I was feeling. However now I’m all shy and acting stupid and help. Why am I literally embarrassed to be around a long time friend of mine? This is someone who I consider to be my closest friend and now I’m so shy around them

I literally keep repeating history. I want someone who actually wants me and I want to stop feeling like I need to make people jealous to get attention from them. Clearly they aren’t interested me and I’ve just been looking too far into things

[the-villain-complex]

I literally keep repeating history. I want someone who actually wants me and I want to stop feeling like I need to make people jealous to get attention from them. Clearly they aren’t interested me and I’ve just been looking too far into things

[the-villain-complex]

I’m sorry I know this is a venting account for bad mental health but hhhhh I’m literally so in love with my friend that it kills me. I just want- I just- hhhhhh

[the-villain-complex]

Masquerade

Lessen your hold or yet pull me in closer

Your ghosts of affection brush my cheek

And mock the platonic need I hide behind

If you insist on leading this dance

Then find the beat and touch my waist

Finish this dance and lead me to a new one

You mask would fool me if your eyes were not so locked on mine

I know you and I’ve known we were in this dance since the beginning

I’ll continue to follow your mark

So not to scare you from my touch

I will gladly let you lead me in this teasing dance

While we both pursue a different beat for another

But draw me in

For everyone knows a dance is more fun in a group

[the-villain-complex]

hey folks; i know we’re all going thru it right now, so I made a carrd masterpost of some stuff to comfort us all. there’s some games, some mental health stuff, and all the crisis lines i could find. i hope it helps; please spread this if you think your followers might find it useful

[the-villain-complex]

Why am I still fucking defending you after everything you did to me???

[the-villain-complex]

Do abusive people really love the people they abuse?

[the-villain-complex]

I wish a merry Christmas to everyone of you, specially to the ones who are struggling, to the suicidal ones, to the ones who are spending holidays alone or lost a loved one, to the ones in pain, to the ones with eating disorders, to the ones with abusive families and partners, to neurodivergent people and to everyone who's going through a tough time.

You are loved and I wish you happiness and serenity, you are not alone.

[the-villain-complex]

Why is my body so disgusting? It doesn’t even feel like it belongs to me when I look at it. I wish I just didn’t have a body, so I wouldn’t have to worry about how hideous it is

[the-villain-complex]

[the-villain-complex]

I haven’t gotten out of bed in 5 days.

[the-villain-complex]

TW: suic*de, k*lling yourself out of anger

I don’t think my college realizes that everytime they make a stupid decision, I just think about killing my self and writing everything they did wrong as my suicide note

[the-villain-complex]

anyone else feel a strange sort of jealousy seeing kids have a normal childhood, with loving parents and not being raised in a manipulative/abusive religion? I see them experiencing things I never got to, and I’m happy for them of course, but I also long for those things I know I’ll never have. It’s like feeling the loss of your childhood all over again

[the-villain-complex]

Your pain is real.

[the-villain-complex]

I just want you out of my life