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thelargefrye · 11 days ago

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NOOOOOOOO THANK YOUUUUUUU TOPAZ 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 probs one of my favorite fics i've written 🫶🫶🫶 so i'm glad you were able to re-enjoy it FHSFKJSDHFSDKH

NO CELESTIAL : FEARNOT … one - shot

pairing : hongjoong x summoner!f!reader x yunho

genre : final fantasy x inspired au, childhood friends to lovers, fantasy, hurt / comfort

word count : 10.1k (my biggest fic yet oof)

warnings : final fantasy x canon violence, language, mentions of death, mentions of god-like creatures (sin), (one) emotional breakdown, minor self-inflicted injury / blood, suggestive content (allusion of sex but NO sex in this!)

note : for @cultofdionysusnet meet me under the cherry tree event!

suffer with me tag : @sanjoongie @songmingisthighs (and special tag goes to @anyamaris and @stardragongalaxy)

it was your job as a summoner to try and cleanse the world; however, while you had a mission to complete, hongjoong and yunho weren’t going to let you do it by yourself.

summoners were seen as sacred people in the world. being the only ones trained in order to expel sin – a great monster who destroys everything it sees – from the world and bring upon what is referred to as the calm.

your brother was the last summoner to expel sin. you remember him leaving you in the care of your grandmother, before he left. all you can remember from that day is his bittersweet smile, tears rolling down his cheeks as he bid you goodbye. had you known he would not have returned from his pilgrimage, you would cried, screamed, and done anything to keep him here with you.

but your brother was not selfish like that. he had become a summoner in order to cleanse and rid the world of sin. the monster had taken your parents from you when you too young to remember, but you know that was always his driving force to become a summoner.

"i'll bring about the calm so you can live peacefully. at least if just for a little while," he told you. "i hope you can forgive your brother for leaving you like this."

"you have to promise you'll come back so we can stay together! you have to come back so you can show me all the places you've been to!" you told him not yet realizing what it meant when a summoner brought calm to the world.

not yet realizing that you would never see your brother again.

and so your brother left. he left with his two friends turned guardians and you never saw him again. the next time you heard about your brother was when you heard he defeated sin and brought about the calm. you felt proud knowing your brother did it, he did what he wanted to achieve. but with his victory also came his death.

you managed to hold it together in front of everyone until you were alone. you had ran away to the luminous forest near your village, the place you had been holding up since your brother left. when you were finally by yourself under the glowing pink cherry tree, that's when you finally collapsed and broke down.

sobs left your lips as tears and snot ran down your face. you felt selfish for crying like this when you knew your brother helped save the world – at least for a little while. but you couldn't help it, your brother was all you had after your parents' death, and now you had no one.

and it was when you had the thought of no one that you felt the force of someone's body colliding with yours. their arms wrapping around you and embracing you in a tight and rather warm hug.

you recognized the person immediately as yunho – if his rather lanky stature for a thirteen year old told you anything. and that's when you remembered you weren't entirely alone because you had yunho and hongjoong by your side.

the ones who had been by your side when you weren't able to fully understand or mourn your parents death. the ones who had been beside you when your brother had left for his pilgrimage. and now... they were the ones beside you, comforting you when the news of your brother's death had finally reached you.

you looked up from your lap with teary eyes to see hongjoong kneeled in front of you. his fiery red hair standing out more than usual against the luminous plants, and that's when you realized how selfish and inconsiderate you were being. hongjoong's brother had joined yours on his pilgrimage as one of his guardians, and along with your brother, his brother also had died against sin.

"hong...joong," you want to tell him a thousand things. how sorry you were, that it felt like your fault he had lost his brother, but you can't find the words. can't find the courage.

"its okay," he says before he's wrapping his arms around you and yunho and you immediately hold the older boy close to you. sobbing into his shirt, not caring in the moment about how wet and snotty it would be.

"please..." hongjoong begins after the three of you sit in silence. you're not sure how much time had past when he says something. "please remember that you'll never be alone. me and yunho... we're here for you, y/n. you'll never be alone."

"yeah!" yunho's voice is uplifting, and something you desperately need hear. "you'll always have us because we're best friends and best friends stick together!" you can't see his face, but you know yunho is smiling.

yeah, best friends.

your life soon returned to semi-normal. you had to get use to not seeing your brother, his presence growing fainter and fainter with each passing day. but you were thankful for hongjoong and yunho to fill the void that was now missing in your heart.

you missed your brother dearly, and you knew that even if you got use to him being gone, you would always miss him. but you knew his sacrifice wasn't in vain as the world was able to have peace.

until that peace was quickly destroyed when sin rose a year after you're brother's death and sacrifice. the monster destroying several villages and even one of the more prominent cities in halazia. when the news spread of sin's return you felt your whole being want to scream out in terror and anguish. your brother's sacrifice only held the damn monster back for a year?

"y/n, are you okay?" yunho has asked you one night as the two of you sat under the cherry tree. its glowing pink petals giving your best friend a rather lovely look. the pink of the leaves bouncing off nicely against his peach colored hair. you had to scold yourself for admiring your best friend like that.

"i'm fine... i just– i just wish his death didn't feel so pointless," you confess as you pulled your knees to chest and rested your head against them.

"i'm sorry... i wish there was something i could to help you," he tells you as he wraps an arm around your shoulders and gives you a comforting squeeze.

"i do too," you whisper as you look out at the forest life around you. you were afraid that now that sin was back, your brother's memory and sacrifice would be forgotten. you didn't want that to happen. you couldn't let that happen.

and that's when it hit you.

"yunho," you begin turning to him and earning his full attention, "i'm going to become a summoner and–

"no," he cuts you off and you've never seen him this serious before. "i'm not letting you throw your life away."

"someone has to expel sin from this world. someone has to do it so no one else ever has to die because of that monster," you tell him. you don't know where this decision came from. if it came from anger or sadness, but you knew something had to be done. that you had to end the cycle of summoners continuously sacrificing themselves in order to stop sin from rampaging across the world and killing anymore people.

"no, i... i can't let you do this y/n! me and hongjoong won't let you!"

"its not yours or hongjoong's decision to make! i need to know that i'm not going to lose anymore people to that monster," you say feeling tears begin to form. "i don't know what i would do if i lost you or hongjoong..." you whisper more to yourself than to him.

"there's nothing i can do to stop you?" he ask and you can hear the sadness in his voice.

"no, i've made up my mind. i'm going to train to become a summoner and expel sin from halazia, forever."

you knew that in order to protect hongjoong and yunho, your closest friends, you had to become a summoner and go on the pilgrimage like your brother did. you knew the two males were against it. telling you not to sacrifice yourself to protect them – that they weren't worth you doing such a dangerous journey for.

you were upset at them. mainly hongjoong because between him and yunho, the older male just as outspoken and stubborn and fiery as his hair color. the two of you often butting heads and hongjoong attempted many times to talk you out of becoming a summoner.

"don't be so stupid! don't risk your life for this! no summoner has been able to expel sin permanently!" he shouted at you when you told him of your plan. "yunho! say something, tell her this is pointless!"

"i've tried hongjoong, i've tried, but she's just as stubborn as you are," yunho says, a frown painting his lips as he watches his two best friends argue.

"why won't you just let me do this?" you say, feeling frustrated with your best friend.

"because i can't lose you too! i can't lose you like i lost my brother! don't you see how selfish you're being! you want to protect us, but what about after you're gone! how are me and yunho suppose to carry on knowing our best friend is fucking dead!" he screams, tears running down his face, shocking you and yunho.

from all the years you've known hongjoong, you have never seen him cry. not even when his brother died along with yours. hongjoong always kept a strong facade around you and yunho, something you had always wished you would lower.

well now he has and you don't think you like it very much. especially when you're the reason for his tears. you feel guilty for causing him such distress and anguish, all you want to do it protect him, protect yunho.

you have to fight back your own tears, you don't feel like you deserve to cry especially in front of hongjoong. especially not after he's revealed such a vulnerable piece of himself to you and yunho.

"hongjoong, i'm–

"don't. i don't want you to apologize. i understand why you want to do this. but i just... i just can't support this," he confesses as he looks at you with his teary eyes. "go, become a summoner and go on the pilgrimage, but i won't be there to watch you sacrifice yourself. not for me at least," he adds and you feel your heart shatter.

"what are you saying hongjoong?" you ask feeling like you already know what he's going to say.

"i'm saying... that if you become a summoner then i can't be in your life. can't be your friend. i already lost a brother to sin, and to lose you... i just– fuck, i just can't imagine it," he says, head tilting back to try and stop the tears. you try to fight back your own tears.

"hongjoong... i'm... i'm so sorry," is all you can say. you love hongjoong, he's one of the most important people in your life aside from yunho. you want to live the rest of your life with the two, travel together, experience life together, grow old together, but you can't have those thoughts with sin out there. but if they – hongjoong and yunho – have a chance to do all those things without worry, and without you, then so be it.

"i'm so sorry, hongjoong," you say again, finally letting the tears fall knowing that you're about to lose him. "but i... i already sent a letter to the temple requesting that i come and train. i'm suppose to leave next week," you say and the looks both your best friends give you rips your heart a part.

"what?" yunho's voice is shaky, but you don't have the heart to look at him knowing that he's probably on the verge of crying. "you're leaving? for how long?"

"a few years at least," you tell him softly, finally letting your eyes drift between him and hongjoong.

you watch as hongjoong turns away from you, back facing you before he heads towards the door. yunho calls out his name softly, surprised by his friend's action. but before hongjoong opens your bedroom door and leaves, he turns to look at you with a heartbroken face.

"then i guess this is goodbye," he says before opening the door and leaving. you and yunho are left in shock as you realize you really did just lose your best friend, one of your everything's. gone.

yunho tries to comfort you, but you ask him to leave. he tries to argue, but eventually gives in to your wish of being alone. he gives you a hug, a reassuring hug that always brought you comfort before he's bidding you a goodbye and leaving.

the week goes by and you slowly begin to prepare yourself for leaving. for leaving yunho and... hongjoong behind. hongjoong. you can't help but feel your heart clench at the thought of the red haired male. he's been avoiding you since you told him and yunho about you leaving, keeping his word to not wanting to be in your life as you train to become a summoner. it hurts. it hurts so much, but you try your best to not think about it.

you've noticed that yunho has slowly started to hang around you less in less as your departure days draws near. you don't blame him, you'll be leaving for who knows how long, who knows what will happen in the next few years.

watching the two people you care about, and basically love, slowly drift away from you hurts. you can't help but think if you're being selfish with wanting to do this. with wanting to become a summoner to stop sin. to give them the peaceful life they deserve.

then the day of your departure arrives and you find yourself looking over your village, hoping to see either that familiar peach or red hair come bonding towards you. to give you one final hug and maybe allow you to tell them those deep thoughts about how you feel. but alas nothing, they do not come and the people from the temple ask for you to border the ship that will take you to the temple.

it hurts that neither one of them sees you off. you can't help but wonder if they are sitting at your usually meeting place, the familiar and luminous pink cherry tree in the forest, hiding away from your eyes. hoping that when they leave the forest, you will be far gone.

your grandmother shoots you a sad smile as she places a hand on your shoulder. you meet her sad expression and you can't help but feel heartbroken because of the two. they have a right to be upset, but did that really mean to forget you completely?

and so you board the boat, knowing you'll never get to properly say goodbye to hongjoong and yunho. the fear of not knowing if you'll ever see them again rises high within you, but you push it down. and then the boat leaves the dock and starts to sail out and away from your hometown.

training at the temple wasn't easy. having to control your maso, magic, was a challenge itself, and to control it and have enough to summon aeons felt impossible. but eventually you got it. you thought about the sacrifice your brother made, how sin took away your parents, and then your mind would drift to hongjoong and yunho.

you still wanted to protect hongjoong and yunho despite them separating their bonds from you. you still cared deeply for them. you still lo–

no. you think that. they were your best friends, all you had in the world, so of course you cared about them. but to love them? did you even fully understand that emotion? you wanted to understand the emotion, to say with your whole chest that yes, you do in fact love your best friends.

but you couldn't. you gave up that chance when you chose to become a summoner. they would never forgive you, never return those feelings.

especially after seven years of not seeing them. you had left your home village when you were fourteen, and since then you had been training day and night to become the best summoner you could be. but you did it, you learned how to control your maso, learned how to summon the aeons, and even learned the sending ritual that sends the spirits to the afterlife. you learned it all and made sure it was perfect.

you were praised by the people of the temple and other summoners. praised again and again for your abilities and how natural it all seemed to come for you. told you that your brother would be proud of you.

you wanted to be happy to know how far you have come in seven years, that all the training paid off, but can you really be happy with yourself if you know that hongjoong and yunho never would be.

you try to not think about them. try so hard to erase them from your memory, but you can't. this is all for them, despite how selfish it is of you to continue with this or how selfish it is of them to leave you. but you can't forget them. you love them after all, despite how silly it may seem. you truly do love them.

that's why you secretly dread returning back to your home village after seven years. you can’t help but wonder how much of the place you use to call home has changed. if anything has changed that is. but most importantly, has hongjoong and yunho changed?

of course they probably have, it’s been seven years. you wonder if they’re still friends or did they drift apart over the years. you hope not.

when you returned back to your village, everyone greeted you like you were some celebrity. welcoming you back with bright smiles and warm faces, it was odd. odd in the sense that you were only use to their pity-filled eyes and sorrowful faces after your brother died. but this was different, you weren't going to complain necessarily, but it was still odd.

"are you going on the pilgrimage, lady y/n?" you were asked by one of the villagers.

"no, i'm not. i finished my training and was allowed to come back home until i'm needed by the temple," it couldn't help the odd feeling of calling this place home again. for seven years the temple had been what you called home, and so to not call it such was just... weird.

"lady y/n, thank you for your sacrifice," another villager told you as they bowed, but you quickly stopped them. you had nothing to deserve their praise.

"please, you do not have to bow. i have done nothing to earn it," you told them, but it was actually yunho's mother who spoke up.

"my dear lady y/n, you're a summoner now and summoners earn the respect whether they go on the pilgrimage or not," she tells you and your heart twist at her words.

you want to ask her how yunho is, but you bite your tongue and instead only nod at her words. did you really have the right to ask her about her son?

soon everyone went about their day, leaving you by yourself and you were thankful they all eventually left you alone. many villagers greeted you as you passed by, making your way back to your grandmother's house.

your grandmother looked at you with a proud look before she embraced you, pulling you into her arms and hugging you. it had been awhile since you were hugged like this.

"welcome home, y/n," she tells you and it felt nice to just be called by your name.

hongjoong had changed a lot in the seven years you had been gone. as expected he would, but you're shocked to see just how handsome he got. his bright red hair grown out in a mullet-style, and his eyes looking sharper than when he was fifteen. he has an air of authority around him and you have to stop yourself from calling out to him.

you notice the sword hanging off his back and you're surprised to recognize it as his brother's sword. hongjoong never gave off the warrior vibe, that was always yunho surprisingly. it seems like you weren't the only one to follow in their sibling's footsteps.

his eyes flicker over and meet yours and you felt your heart both speed up and clench in pain when you met his eyes. it sped up because you finally seeing him after so long, proving your feelings never died like you wanted them too. it clenched in pain; however, due to the coldness and emotionless void his eyes held. like you were a stranger to him, and nothing more. like you hadn't spent most of your childhood together. it hurt. it hurt a lot.

"lady y/n, welcome back," he says greeting you, but you wish he hadn't. his voice had gotten a little deeper, but it was cold like his eyes. you were a stranger to him, he really cut you off like you meant nothing to him. you couldn't help but notice how he didn't say home, just welcome back.

was this not your home to? was he not your home when you were fourteen? when you were thirteen and him and yunho were all you had to call home.

"thank you," you say trying to hide the hurt in your voice, but ultimately failing. you're quick to turn away from him and make your way back to your grandmother's house.

didn't want to accept that you and hongjoong were now complete strangers, but unfortunately that's what he did a long time ago.

seeing yunho hurt just as much as when you seen hongjoong. the taller male had come bearing a gift to you and your grandmother – from his mother he tells you.

"oh, um, thank you, yunho," his name felt odd yet familiar rolling off your lips as you take the basket from him.

he's even more handsome than you remember, his peach colored hair still framing his face lovingly and giving him this soft look to him despite his tall stature wanting to do otherwise. his voice had deepened more than hongjoong's and you had to stop yourself from letting your knees get weak.

but seeing how much he's changed wasn't what hurt the most. it was young woman that tagged along with him, basically hanging off of him looking lovestruck. you recognized her as one of the girls you all grew up with, but her name was unfortunately drawing a blank.

"of course, lady y/n," he says and hearing the title pains just as much as when hongjoong spoke it. "and... welcome back to the village," he adds and while it was less cold and distant that hongjoong's greeting, it still felt like he was thousands of years a part from you.

again, your heart clenched at knowing they seen you as nothing but a stranger. just a summoner who shared the same village as them. you guess maybe this would make them accept you being gone much easier if you were to go on the pilgrimage, but right now it sucked. you hated it and wanted to scream at yunho for closing himself off to you. at hongjoong for being such a jerk and leaving you alone.

yunho and the girl bid you farewell before they turn and leave. you notice how they hold hands as they walk away and you felt like breaking down and sobbing right then and there.

this fucking sucks, you think as you close the door and set the basket on the dining table. before you go to your room and lock yourself away from the rest of the evening. thoughts about what would have happened if you just stayed here and didn't become a summoner.

would you still be close to yunho and hongjoong? probably. would yunho be the one holding your hand instead of that girl? would hongjoong look at you with emotions rather than as nothing? probably.

but you would never know because you chose to become a summoner, and you can't regret it. not when you have the opportunity to eventually defeat sin and bring peace. maybe it was for the best that hongjoong and yunho were like strangers to you now. didn't want to accept it, your heart still yearning for them, but you knew that eventually it would be okay.

it was in fact, not going to be okay.

you realized that you couldn't get over not being able to see or talk to hongjoong and yunho like you use to. deep inside you, your heart just couldn't except the fact that they just weren't in your life anymore. it didn't help that every attempt you made to talk to them ended in failure. hongjoong would simply give you the cold shoulder and walk away while yunho would just give you a curt "i'm good, lady y/n," before scurrying off in the opposite direction.

it also doesn't help that you've overheard the girl you've seen with yunho talk about a potential engagement. yunho... engaged? the thought didn't sit well and you felt like you could throw up if you continue to think about it.

you couldn't take being in the village anymore with how high your emotions were raging and found yourself rushing into the forest close to the village. the darkness it brought felt a sort of comfort you hadn't experienced in a while. the luminous plants bring back happy memories. happy memories that soon bring in a dark cloud as you remember that they will be just that, a memory.

you won't ever get to share hushed secrets and comforting hugs with yunho or teasing remarks and longing looks with hongjoong anymore. fuck, why are you still hung up so much on the past when it obvious they have moved on.

moved on from you and the memories you shared.

it was underneath the luminous cherry tree where you fell to your knees and finally let out the heart-wrenching sob you had been holding in for four months now. tears streamed down your face, blurring your vision as you sat on the forest ground and just cried. you felt angry at yourself for getting so worked up over all of this. angry and childish.

you punched the ground out of anger at yourself and this whole thing. you were the only one suffering in this emotional turmoil, you felt like. hongjoong and yunho... they seemed find. content with their life without you, so why couldn't you do the same.

it was always that same damn question, over and over again.

you couldn't help punch the ground again as you thought about how childish you were being. you chose to do this to yourself, you chose to leave them and become a summoner. stop being so childish and accept the consequences of your actions.

you punched the ground a few more times, ignoring the odd sensation coming from your knuckles as you pressed your head to the ground. tears still came pouring out along with snot running down your nose. every time you opened your mouth, only sob escaped you and you felt spit running out of your mouth a little bit. your whole body shook as you started to hyperventilate.

you fisted your hand so tightly you felt your nails digging into the flesh of your palm, but you ignored it. continuing to cry, you ignored all the sounds of life around you. you honestly could care less if a random monster appeared now.

that's when you suddenly felt yourself being jerked up from the ground. everything was moving so fast that you couldn't comprehend what was even happening until you felt two hands cupping your face and making you look at the figure in front of you.

even through your blurry tears you could make out the familiar head of peach hair, his whole presence giving off the same comfort feeling it did all those years ago. it honestly made you want to sob even harder. you hate how familiar and comforting yunho is. how despite the years apart, your whole being still seeks him out like when you were teenagers.

"oh, y/n... what have you done," he says, voice concerning as he takes your hand into his. when you look down, that's when you notice how bloody your knuckles are.

"why..." is all you can say as you attempt to wipe your tears away before more come out, you watch yunho as he does his best in wrapping your hand up. why are you here? is what you really want to ask. you want to push him away and yell at him, to tell him to stay away, but you couldn't find the strength.

"i seen you running into the forest, and i remember that you only did that when you were upset. so i... came after you," he says.

you can't help but furrow your eyebrows at his words. he... came after you?

"but... i-i don't... why? why are you here?" you're at a lose for words by him and you can't help but feel angry and upset. you rip your hand away from his and you notice his shocked expression before it turns in a sad one. what gave him the right to come after you after four months of avoiding you. "after so long... i've been back for four months, four months of trying to talk to you only for you to blow me off! why now when i'm sitting here crying! because of you!" you say pushing at him to get him to move away from you, but yunho doesn't budge.

instead he just lets you push at him and weakly smack his chest. he allows you vent all your emotions out on him as you continue to smack him and even cuss at him.

"i hate you so much, why did you leave me?" you sobbed, understanding how much of a hypocrite you are by saying that. when you were finally done, no more energy left to give that's when yunho pulled you into his arms.

they wrapped around you and welcomed you in the embrace you have been waiting for again for seven years. and just when you think you ran out of tears to, they just appear right again. you felt like you were thirteen again when yunho comforted you after your brother died. he hand a comforting hand over your head as he hugged you.

"i'm... i'm so sorry, y/n," he whispers once your tears finally stop. you can't help but notice the cherry blossom petals slowing falling around you both as he speaks. "i just so upset at knowing you were suddenly leaving. i regret never being there when you left, and i regret never greeting you when you came back. i was... i was just scared at knowing that i would eventually lose you and i couldn't handle it. i was scared to let you back into my life knowing that you would just leave again," you feel your heart clenched tightly at his confession.

"yunho..." you say but you had no idea what you were actually going to say. you think that maybe you just wanted to feel his name roll off you tongue after so long.

you pull yourself away from yunho in order to look at him and you're surprised by the teary expression his has on his face. he gives you a watery smile and when the tears fall, you can't help but to wipe them away.

"i don't want to lose you again," he tells you as you cup his face and you see his hands hesitate before he's doing the same. "i don't think my heart could handle losing you again," he says before he's resting his forehead against yours.

"you'll... you'll never lose me, yunho," you tell him, you want to so badly to tell him how you feel. how you've always felt, but you're scared. scared to confess how much you truly love him.

"i'm glad you came back. i waited day by day for news of your return. i had wondered how you had changed and so when you finally came back... y/n, i was so shocked by how beautiful you got," he tells you with a soft laugh.

"i wondered the same thing. when i could see you and– when i could see you again," you say correcting yourself, but yunho catches it.

"hongjoong... hongjoong i think misses you a lot. he doesn't want to admit how much he loves you because he's worried about losing you, but... just know that deep down he's glad you're back," he tells you and you let out a soft hum at his words.

"i think i owe the both of you an apology. i really di–

yunho doesn't let you finish before he's kissing you. his lips smashing against your and it catches you off guard for a second before you're kissing him back. your arms wrapping around his neck as you both attempt to hold each other closer.

you can't help but find comfort in the fact that your first kiss is with one of the people you love the most in the world and in your favorite spot. the cherry tree's pink lights giving off that romantic feeling you didn't want to admit you had been yearning and missing, but it really was something you needed. you're breathless when you pull away from yunho's lips and you have to suppress the smile that threatens to appear when he's attempting to chase your lips to kiss you again.

but then something hits it, hard.

"wait, what about that girl that was with you when you dropped off that basket from your mother?"

"hmm? oh, you mean eunha? what about her?"

"aren't you dating her or about to be engaged?"

"well, you see... i- i broke it off with her before i came to find you. i only dated her to make my mom happy, but we talked a few days ago. she told me to stop being stupid and not to date or marry to make her happy, but to do it to make me happy."

"so... you didn't like that eunha?"

"no. i couldn't, not when i love you and hongjoong too much."

you felt your heart skip a beat at his words. he likes you? but not just like, he loves you.

"yunho," you call out his name earning his attention and you immediately bring him back down to your lips. his crashing against yours as you run your hand through his hair. when you pull away you can't help the words that escape your lips, "i love you too."

the thing you probably hated the most about being a summoner had to be performing the sending ritual. sure to any witnesses the ritual was this beautiful thing that helped the deceased pass on, but to summoners... it was a taxing thing that really didn't help them feel better.

"lady y/n, one of the nearby villages is requesting that you come and help them," your village leader said, "sin attacked the village and left the place a ruin... if could go and help them–

"it would be an honor," you tell him, cutting him off. you knew what he was going to say, people in the village had lost both their homes and loved ones. summoners were seen as a sign of hope for those that survived a rampage against sin.

"thank you," the older man says, "i'll make sure you have an escort to guide you since you do not have any guardians to accompany you," he tells you and you thank him before leaving to prepare for your journey.

you can't help but frown at the mention of not having a guardian. guardians were often seen as protectors of summoners, warriors to put it simply. they were often usually close to the summoner, someone the summoner could trust with their life as they journey around the world or when they finally took on the pilgrimage. you think it was rather obvious why you didn't any guardians.

according to your village leader, it would take a day to journey to the next village. you're glad it won't take the longer. the sooner you can help that village the better it could help settle some of them down to a somewhat peaceful mind.

"lady y/n," you're shocked at the sound of the familiar voice, turning around you are met with the familiar cold eyes of hongjoong as he stands before you. "i was asked to accompany you to the next village. yunho will also be joining us," he tells you and you feel a sense of dread rush over you knowing that hongjoong will be traveling with you.

fuck, this is most he's spoken to you in seven months since you're return to the village.

"alright, i'll pack my things quickly and meet you both at the gate," you tell him and he nods before turning and walking away from you. you licked your lips nervously before turning on your heels and making your way back to your grandmother's house to pack.

"be careful, dear," your grandmother tells you and you give her a grateful smile before you're bidding her goodbye as you make your way to the village gate.

hongjoong and yunho are already there waiting for you and you see the two talking in rather hushed voices. you're glad to know that after all this time, hongjoong and yunho remained close to each other.

yunho notices you first and greets you with a smile while hongjoong simply gives you a once over. you try to ignore the awful feeling in your chest, as this journey wasn't about you. it was about helping the neighboring village.

"shall we be off then, lady y/n," yunho says and you nod before the three of you make your way into the forest.

the journey was as eventful as one would expect with the occasional run-in with a few monsters. the three of you easily taking them down and before you knew it, the sun had set and the moon was slowly taking its place.

"let's stop and set up camp here," hongjoong says and you and yunho agree without hesitation, tired from the day's journey. setting up camp was done without a sweat and before you know it, the three of you are sitting around a camp fire.

you could basically taste the tension that was between the three of you. sure your relationship with yunho was going smoothly, him often visiting you after his guard duties, but your relationship with hongjoong is literally nonexistent. he's still been shooting down all you attempts to talk to him, giving you the harshest cold shoulder ever.

you had to hand it to yunho though, he was trying his best to ease said tension, but it was obvious hongjoong didn't want to talk to you.

"yunho, just stop," hongjoong says finally. you notice the rather deep blush that overtakes yunho's face, neck, and ears and you can't help but admire how cute he looks despite how he was obviously embarrassed. "i'm only doing this because i was asked to. not because i want to sit here and share cute little stories with her. we aren't teenagers anymore, and i don't want anything to do with her," he talks as if you aren't there, and it hurts.

is that really how he sees you? as some memory from when he was younger that he didn't want anything to do with? was there no chance at building a relationship back?

"hongjoong, you're being to harsh on y/n," yunho says, eyebrows furrowed as he looks at his childhood friend.

"how am i being too harsh, yunho? i'm not the one who left us to become a summoner?" hongjoong says back, eyes hard and you can see the fire behind them as he talks. "i'm not the one that's going to sacrifice themselves for a pointless cause," he says and you can feel your heart clench at how hurt you are.

yes, you decided to leave them, but it for them. yes, it was probably a selfish thing to do without considering their feelings, but to say things like this to you. hongjoong was only doing this to hurt you. you couldn't stand to be around him any longer, you felt the tears once again threatening to spill and you had to get away.

hongjoong let out a humorless laugh as he watches you get up and walk away from him and yunho, "of course! run away like you always do, not caring about the mess you left behind!" he spits out, but you continue into your tent just as the tears fell.

you stayed the rest of the night in your tent, curled up and refusing to cry over hongjoong. at some point throughout the night, yunho comes in and lays down next to you. you appreciate how he hold you close to him and even more that he doesn't say anything to you. the both of you just lay in silence, yunho rubbing comforting circles on your skin and lulling you to sleep.

the neighboring village was in a lot more ruin than you could have guessed. you felt your heart clench and body shake as you took in the destroyed village around you. the houses destroyed and many of the villagers crying out in mourning over their lost ones.

the village leader approaches you with a mournful look, "oh! thank you summoner and her guardians for coming," he says and bows to you. you feel your stomach twist at how the leader calls yunho and hongjoong your guardians and you're about to correct him when yunho speaks up instead.

"of course, we're here to help as much as we can," he says as both him and hongjoong greet the leader. the leader thanks you three again before he's giving tasks to help the villagers to hongjoong and yunho before he's leading you to where their dead as been set and ready to be sent to the afterlife.

"we'll have the ritual ready to perform soon. please take your time as you talk to people, they could really use some help, lady y/n," he says before leaving you by yourself. you grip your staff tightly as you look at the number of how many people fell at the hands of sin. it twists your stomach once more and it makes you want to throw up.

however, you push the lump in your throat down and take a deep breath before your bowing to the deceased and making your way around the village to talk to the people left of it. they thank you for coming and for sending off their lost loved ones. it makes you feel better about becoming a summoner as you can help everyone here hopeful find peace. because at the end of the day, that's all you want from being a summoner. peace.

the sending ritual took place at sunset, the bodies of the deceased submerged under the water and the people of the village watching from the beach. tears in their eyes as some of them tried not to break out in sobs and mournful cries. you took a deep breath before you took a few hesitant steps onto the water.

your swung your staff from side to side, twisting the staff in your hands the further you walked out into the walk. you had done this plenty of times before when you were training, going through the motions of performing the ritual. however, this is the first time yunho and hongjoong will watch the ritual and you felt nervous for some reason.

you want to show them that you are a good summoner, that you spent the last seven years training for this.

hongjoong felt like he was in a trance as he watched you perform the sending ritual. the fires lit around him, yunho, and the grieving villagers turned from the usually orange-yellow tint to a sudden blue-purple tint and grew just slightly. he watched as you waved your staff from side to side over the deceased that were below you in the water.

then he watched as the water rose you and sprouted up like some fountain. you continued performing the ritual, like the water suddenly rising you up and coming to life didn't phase you.

him and yunho both watched as the pyreflies, the spiritual life force of people, began to leave the bodies and floated up around you and into the sky. hongjoong felt a cold chill run over his body as he watched the scene before him. he had heard of the sending ritual before, everyone in halazia was familiar with it, but to witness it. to witness a summoner perform it, wasn't something he ever thought he would see it.

he couldn't deny how otherworldly you looked while performing the ritual. he couldn't deny how beautiful you had become over the last seven years, he felt his stomach twist as he watched you perform your summoner duties and realizing that you would eventually leave him eventually to perform your summoner duties. he was afraid to get close to you again, to let you in again, only to lose you forever.

so he kept you away and at a distance. he knew that yunho frowned upon his actions and attitude towards you.

"she looks so beautiful," yunho says, still in awe as he watches you.

"yeah... she really does," hongjoong says and that seems to snap yunho out of his trance of you.

"you know... you should try to talk to her," yunho says and hongjoong knows he's right. yunho is always right when it comes to these types of things. "she... she loves you as well, always has."

when the ritual was over, both males watched as you were lowered back to the ground by the water. the pyreflies having ascended into the sky moments before the ritual was over.

yunho notices how you seem to be lacking some energy, but before he could approach you, hongjoong beats him to you and rushes to you and catches you in his arms. you let out a groan as you lean onto hongjoong who wraps you in his arms.

"hong...joong?" you're surprised that its hongjoong who catches you and holds you against his body.

"you did so well, y/n, no tears next time okay?" he says brushing away the tears you didn't realize had escaped. the sending ritual always was emotional for you, you had even thought you were successful in not crying this time.

hongjoong helps you over towards yunho who smiles down at you. when you regain your energy, you're able to stand by yourself and you move away from hongjoong. hongjoong can't help but feel a frown painting his lips, but he knows why you've slightly distanced yourself from him.

"i think its about time we all talk," yunho says as he smiles at the two of you, he runs a hand over both yours and hongjoong's head before bringing the both of you into a hug.

the following night, the three of you sat around another fire similar to the night before, and you and your two childhood best friends talked.

"i became a summoner because i was angry that my brother's sacrifice wasn't enough. he had become a summoner to defeat sin because the monster took our parents, but he also wanted to make sure i lived a peaceful life. i wanted to make sure his wish was fulfilled. you both... you're the most important people in my life. my home. i wanted to give you a peaceful life without sin. i want to defeat him once and for all," you tell them as both hongjoong and yunho sat on either sides of you.

"y/n... do you know how about impossible that sounds?" hongjoong asks and he's right. it sounds absolutely crazy and impossible, but its been something you've been training for, for the last seven years now.

"but its something i need to do," you tell him, "i want to make sure everyone can live a peaceful life and no more summoners have to die. i don't want to die, but i want to defeat sin," you tell them.

yunho couldn't help but let out a laugh, "you want to kill sin?"

you nod and hongjoong looks at you like you have grown two heads. you can tell he wants to protest, but stops himself. instead he takes your hand into his and gives you a comforting squeeze. the sudden closeness of hongjoong feels nice. it feels nice to finally be close to him again, but you couldn't ignore the somewhat awkward tension between the two of you.

you know it'll take a little bit before the awkwardness goes away, but that's how it was with yunho. you had seven years and seven months to catch up on.

everything seemed to be going well until you received a letter from the temple. the letter tells you about how the summoner who had decided to go on the pilgrimage to cleanse the world and put sin to sleep had quit halfway through his journey.

the news shocks you, you've never heard about a summoner quitting their pilgrimage before. you can't help but wonder what had happened. maybe he got cold feet and suddenly didn't have the courage to sacrifice himself. maybe he wasn't as prepared as he thought he was.

it was easy to think of reason after reason, but you concluded that maybe it was best if you didn't know.

continuing the letter, you're shocked when the temple asks for you to take on the pilgrimage instead. the heads of the temple sending you praise once more through the letter and saying that they had no doubts that you would succeed in the pilgrimage and bringing about the calm.

this is what you had spent seven years of your life training for. this was what you had dedicated your teenage and first years of adulthood to. to finally go on the pilgrimage and stop sin once and for all, to give hongjoong and yunho the peacefully life they deserved.

but how would they react? you had just gotten them back and you know it took a lot to earn hongjoong's trust back. it took a lot just to finally tell them both how you feel. how the love you had for them at age fourteen didn't just go away, but instead grew more and more. you knew that without you they would be fine. you finally had the chance to give them the life they deserved.

on the other hand, you wanted to be selfish. you wanted to deny the chance of the pilgrimage if it meant being able to stay with hongjoong and yunho just a little longer. but could actually risk the lives of thousands – millions – for a little bit of happiness?

you let out a sigh as you folded the letter back up as looked out at the sea before you, the sun was setting and hongjoong and yunho would be over soon. you knew you had to make a decision soon.

stay with your two lovers or go on the pilgrimage.

"what?" hongjoong is surprised by what you told him and yunho about the letter.

"the previous summoner that was going on his pilgrimage quit and so the temple asked if i wanted to go on it instead," you restate what you told him. the three of you had met in the forest near your village underneath the cherry tree.

"so are you going?" yunho asks after the three of you sit in a few moments of silence.

"i... i don't know," you confess, truly unsure if you want to go on the journey. "i mean, this is what i spent the last seven, eight years preparing for," you add as you look down at you hands which rested in your lap. "i just got the both of you back in my life, and i can't imagine losing you both again like i did. i know you don't want me to leave," you say looking at hongjoong, "but a part of me is telling me to go."

"then go, baby," yunho says as he takes one of your hands into his. "you want to kill sin, and bring peace to halazia. do it, go on the pilgrimage, defeat sin once and for all and then come back to us," he adds, as he gives you warm smile.

your eyes filter over to hongjoong, waiting for him to say something, but instead he remains silent as he lays against the ground, looking up at the luminous cherry tree and the petals that floated down and around the three of you.

"hongjoong..." you call out to your lover softly, in an attempt to get his attention.

"this is what you want. to fulfill your brother's wish and i can't stop you, no matter how much i want to object and fight to keep you. it was just be a pointless and heartbreaking fight," he says as he looks at you and then sits up.

he moves until you and him are centimeters apart, noses touching and you feel a little flushed by the sudden closeness, "you have to promise to come back to me and yunho. you hear?" he says and you nod your head and he cracks a smile before he's pressing a soft kiss to your lips.

"hey let's get married," yunho suggests and you and hongjoong turn to look at him with wide eyes. he can't help the blush that covers his cheeks when he realizes the two of you are looking at him. "well... maybe not literally, but let's at least promise to always love and look after each other no matter how far apart we are from each other," he adds.

"and when you get back from defeating sin, we'll make it official," hongjoong adds with a hum.

"oh geez, you two," you say feeling a heat rise to your face as you try to fan your face to cool yourself off.

yunho can only laugh as he pulls you to rest between his legs and you find comfort in feeling trapped between him and hongjoong, who moves to sit in front of you and also between yunho's rather long legs.

"y/n," hongjoong begins taking your hands into his and you feel yunho's hands also come to rest over them, "will you spend the rest of you life with me and yunho?"

you let out a small laugh as you nod, feeling the tears start to well up in your eyes as you look at your childhood friend who has a similar expression on his face. he smiles at you before he's kissing you.

"i love you both," you say when hongjoong pulls away from you.

"good because you're stuck with us," yunho says before he's reaching down to kiss you as next.

the next thing you know, you are entangled with your two lovers as you three kiss each other. hands moving and pulling at clothes as you are rested on the ground and you admire the glowing, beautiful cherry tree as you and two lovers all become one.

and then when it was all over, the three of you were laying there underneath the tree and basking into each other's warmth and presence, knowing that you will be leaving them in a just a few days.

you feel a sense of deja vu rush over you as stand on the familiar dock looking over the your home village. seeing it right here in the same spot you stood in eight years ago now, helps you realize that nothing about the small village had changed. you can't help but smile at this realizing fact and you're glad some things will never change.

however, while you're about to set off on your pilgrimage, you had hoped that some things would change from when you were fourteen. mainly being that hongjoong and yunho would be here to see you off. you don't expect them to go with you, it would be too selfish to ask, but you would hope to see them one last time.

one last time before you–

no, you can't think that why yet. not when your journey has just barely begun.

"are you ready lady y/n?" the boat work asks you and you're about to answer him when a sudden yell sounds throughout the area.

"hey!! wait for us!!" you whip around at the familiar voice and see an even more familiar shade of peach and red running towards you. you feel your heart about to jump out of your chest at the sight of your two lovers, and you have to stop yourself from breaking down into tears of happiness.

"what are you guys doing?" you ask and you can't help but hope for a specific answer.

"well, we've decided to come with on your pilgrimage. we–

"we decided that we aren't going to let you do it alone," yunho cuts off hongjoong making the short of the two males huff in annoyance at his lover.

"b-but i can't ask that of you guys, its too dangerous!" you say because as much as you want them to come with you, you can't risk putting them in danger.

"exactly," hongjoong says looking at you with soft eyes, "that's exactly why we need to come with you. y/n, you don't have any guardians, how do you expect to protect yourself from all the different monsters?"

you can't help but feel rather embarrassed at realizing you don't have an exact answer for him. mainly because you don't have one.

"exactly," he says, reaching his hand out to take yours, "that's why me and yunho need to come. to protect you. i made a mistake eight years ago by shutting you out, afraid of losing you like i did my brother, but i know now that it was wrong of me. if i'm going to lose you then... then i'm going to be with you until the very end," hongjoong says and you can't help but tear up at his words.

"hongjoong's right," yunho says, gently taking your other hand into his, "we'll both protect you and be with you until the very end. the three of us forever and ever."

you don't stop the tears that run down your face as you pull your two lovers into you and embrace them. they immediately wrap their arms around you and each other.

"forever and ever."

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