theloopweaver

[theloopweaver]

Only if they also get a big point deduction every time they fall every time they fall for an Obvious Scam.

each year congress people should be required to go on a field trip where they each get dumped in the middle of a random u.s. town & handed a phone with google maps & forced to find their way back to washington solely through the use of local public transportation systems.

to be clear i don't think this would improve our political reality in any way, but it would be fun to watch

[theloopweaver]

We’ve all seen A:TLA, right?

Getting kidnapped as a superhero is rather embarrassing, but at least you were certain that your friends would rescue you. Which is why it came as a massive shock to you to see one of your villains bust the door of you cell open and unlock your restraints.

[theloopweaver]

☀ cross stitch of a cat , which is about 1000 years old !

A textile fragment was found in Peru. It belongs to the Chimu or Chancay culture (pre-Columbian era X - XV centuries)

[theloopweaver]

This is a mess. End of.

[theloopweaver]

I, for one, salute our new General Nuisance.

Writing on the back of this photo from my collection says “General Nuisance. Summer 1954”.

[theloopweaver]

And now I wonder if “loafant” is a different position than “couchant” when referring to domestic cats.

[theloopweaver]

Paging @catsofyore to the post!

Vintage Tabby kitten.

[theloopweaver]

[theloopweaver]

West Side with llama, 1957.

Photo: Inge Morath via Paris Photo

[theloopweaver]

Pocket kitty

Sneaking my own kitten into the theater to avoid paying concession kitten prices. Postcard from my collection, no documented date/info.

[theloopweaver]

This is literally just Greedling from FMA.

You have been possessed by a demon. Instead of panicking, you realize an important truth: you're trapped in your own body with a demon at the wheel, but you're still in the car, and you have the power to make them regret every single second they spend with you.

[theloopweaver]

My haze varied day to day. Not sure if it caused the ADHD or was a side effect.

I don’t remember much from middle school. Mainly just the Green haze.

[theloopweaver]

As population skyrockets, humanity combats this by bringing back natural selection and removing all safety features from everything. No handrails? You kind of deserved it by being too stupid to see the drop below.

[theloopweaver]

“I should probably reconsider my price point, but very well, I accept.”

You're a hero with a weird name: "Anything for $20." You gain the ability to do anything, as long as you're offered $20. Everyone takes it as a joke, until one day there's a cataclysm, and someone offers you $20 to end it.

[theloopweaver]

Plot twist: their most significant enemies are either family members or in the friend group.

The hero’s secret identity is revealed. Surprisingly, their enemies have enough honor to not go after their loved ones or lord over their personal life.

[theloopweaver]

The aliens have clearly been observing you closely enough to understand that your garden is a major source of fresh food: they have built an advanced- technology greenhouse-like annex around it, so that you can still eat your greens while remaining “inside.”

The aliens you've seen while living out in the woods have rarely been "friendly," but always benign. You have your space, they have theirs, rarely interacting... which is why you knew something was wrong when you found advanced defenses around your house and a hand-drawn warning to stay inside.

[theloopweaver]

So once or twice I’ve heard the word “fruitcake” used to describe someone who is, for lack of a more polite word, nutty.

I also have a known habit of pulling weird phrasings out of the air, or even yoinking puns and their entire fucking setups out of my ass.

Today, I sneezed out a metaphor. And I will now inflict it on you.

That metaphor being to describe a person as “employed at the fruitcake factory.” Or, more simply, they’re a nutjob.