thelowblow

[thelowblow]

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[thelowblow]

Santa Clara, CA Approx 76,000 in attendance Announce Team: Michael Cole; JBL; Jerry Lawler Champions: WWE World Heavyweight Champion: Brock Lesnar WWE Intercontinental Champion: Bad News Barrett WWE United States Champion: Rusev WWE Diva’s Champion: Nikki Bella WWE Tag Team Champions: Cesaro & Kidd Just a few words on the preshow matches... The tag match was great. Usually I find the typical Wrestlemania four-way tags to be a boring clusterfuck, but for some reason I really found this match to be fun. Jimmy Uso shined on his own as the solo Uso while Jey was taken out early, there were some really cool spots and moments, and the right team scored the win in the end. The Battle Royal was fun, but not as good as last year’s. Miz and Mizdow’s implosion was a long time coming and I really wish it was actually on PPV. This is a storyline that dates back to what, September, October last year? That’s a longer build up than anything on the main card. Mizdow has been one of the hottest acts over the last six months, and the fans popped big time when he eliminated Miz. The big mistake here was having Big Show win. I get that the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal ends up meaning nothing in the end, at least that’s how I perceive it given how far Cesaro plummeted last year, but nevertheless it would have been a potentially big win that should have gone to Mizdow. Turning on Miz, and then proving himself as a singles competitor by eliminating Big Show would have been the much better and more crowd pleasing story to tell rather than the whole ‘Big Show has never won a battle royal somehow’ story that no one cares about. Big Show winning tainted the Mizdow moment to some extent. Anyway, moving on to the actual show... We’re outdoors this year for a change of pace. I’d hate to be in the ring for that show. I worked an outdoor gig once, and it sucked. I got sunburnt and the ring got super hot. Having to sell on something that is slowly cooking you is not fun. Someone called Aloe Blacc sings the US anthem. I’m not really familiar with him. But he has a nice voice. WWE Intercontinental Championship Ladder Match Bad News Barrett (c) vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Dean Ambrose vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Luke Harper vs. R-Truth vs. Stardust Bryan gets the expected monster pop. 70,000+ yessing people is a sight to see. Ziggler and Ambrose also both get big babyface pops. Most of the entrances seem pretty rushed. Ambrose goes straight after Barrett. The rest brawl around the ring. A few guys soon get dumped to ringside as the usual big dives to ringside start. Ambrose hits a suicide dive, R-Truth hits a somersault senton, Stardust hits a “falling star” and Luke Harper hits a big suicide dive onto everyone. Ambrose climbs up a ladder and elbow drops everyone. Truth sets up a ladder in the ring and goes to climb it, but chickens out because of bad writing. Barrett comes in the ring and beats on Truth with the ladder. Bryan hits a missile dropkick, kicking the ladder into Barrett. Bryan starts doing Daniel Bryan things, but then Harper derails him with a ladder to the face. Harper tries to climb the ladder to the top, but Bryan comes back and hangs him upside down, tree of woe style. He then goes to town on him with stiff kicks and Harper drops off. Ziggler and Ambrose try and scurry up the ladder. Barrett pulls them off and gets clotheslined over the top rope for his trouble. Truth, Ambrose and Ziggler all try climbing to the top, but Stardust dropkicks the ladder over and everyone tumbles off it. Stardust goes to ringside and retrieves the Exo-Atmospheric Starbird (it’s a ladder with glitter and glue on it). Barrett, being a party pooper, kicks a rung off the ladder and beats Stardust with it. Ambrose brawls with Barrett and crushes him under the Starbird. Harper starts dominating in the ring with the ladder. He places a ladder over Dolph Ziggler and slingshots him and the ladder underneath the middle rope. Harper hits snake eyes on Ambrose into another ladder. Truth comes in and scissor kicks Harper over a ladder. Truth sets a ladder up and starts climbing it, although he’s about five feet off centre. Barrett dumps Truth out and Stardust tries to climb the ladder, but Barrett hits him with a superplex for the first “holy shit” chant of the night. Bryan centres the ladder and he, Ziggler and Ambrose try climbing it. Ambrose decides to tip the ladder over and knock both men off. Ambrose starts climbing it, but Harper comes back in and powerbombs him from the inside of the ring through a ladder on the outside. The ladder breaks and Ambrose looks pretty banged up. Ziggler jumps on Harper’s back with a sleeper hold, but he tries to climb up the ladder through the pressure. Ziggler hits the Zig Zag on Harper from the ladder. Barrett strolls in and hits everyone with Bull Hammers. Bryan comes in and hits Barrett with the running knee. Bryan and Ziggler climb to the top of the ladder and slug it out. They trade headbutts until Ziggler eventually falls off and Bryan retrieves the belt for the win at 18:05. Thoughts: A very solid opener and an all around great match. The botches were minimal and the fans loved it. It had a crowd pleasing ending too, if you don’t think of how Bryan was headlining last year and is opening the show this year in a seven-man match for a meaningless title. But the point is, Bryan can make the title meaningful again. This match wasn’t unlike the usual MITB spotfests that we’ve become accustomed to, but it was still a ton of fun to watch. Rating: 8/10 Randy Orton vs. Seth Rollins Rollins comes out with the three stooges and a mixed reaction. The smarks love him, the marks hate him.  Orton gets a nice pop and comes out in some flashy red trunks, it makes me think of his early Evolution days where he didn’t just wear dark colours. Lock up and Orton gets a headlock. They do the old shoulder block and leap frog spot, except Orton hits a standing dropkick out of nowhere. He looks for the early RKO, but Rollins bails to ringside.  They brawl in the corner of the ring and Orton tries some mounted punches. Rollins counters with a powerbomb into the opposite corner, but Orton no sells it and clothesliens Rollins out of his boots. J&J try and get involved, but Orton dispatches them with a double hanging DDT off the apron at ringside. “Those are human beings, dammit!” shouts JBL. Rollins hits Orton with a suicide dive and drags him back in the ring for two. Snap suplex gets two. Rollins gets a chin lock, but Orton fights back. Rollins hits a weird reverse STO type move in the corner, headfirst into the middle turnbuckle. Orton tries to come back with a powerslam, but Rollins puts the brakes on. He tries to counter it with a Curb Stomp, but Orton counters that with a powerslam. Cool spot. Orton blocks a second reverse STO and hits a fisherman fall away slam type move. Orton tries the hanging DDT, but Rollins counters by dumping Orton out of the ring. He follows up with an asai moonsault. Rollins goes back up top, but Orton crotches him. They brawl at the top and Orton back drops Rollins into the ring. Orton then hits with a top rope crossbody, but Rollins rolls through with a pin for two. Orton nails the hanging DDT and calls for the RKO. Rollins counters with a schoolboy for two. Rollins tries an RKO of his own, but Orton counters by flipping Rollins behind him and hitting him with an RKO, but Rollins still kicks out at two and Orton sells the shock value of it. Orton signals for the Punt Kick, but J&J rush the ring. Noble eats an RKO, and Mercury jumps off the second rope into an RKO. Rollins comes out of nowhere with a Curb Stomp for a close near fall.  Rollins goes up top for the Phoenix Splash. Orton rolls out of the way, and Rollins rolls through with the move. Orton tries for the RKO again, but Rollins counters with a spin kick. He looks for a second Curb Stomp, but Orton counters by launching Rollins into the air and hitting the RKO in a beautiful spot that wins the match at 13:47. Thoughts: That was a pretty awesome closing sequence and an overall very tight and decent match. It wasn’t the five star barn burner that some people were saying it would be. I’m not sure I’d say it was even four star. But both Orton and Rollins definitely worked hard to make it enjoyable. They have chemistry together and with more time, they could put on a better match. The near falls weren’t believable here though. Not for me at least. The first RKO came a bit too soon to buy it as the finish, and of course you knew that Orton wasn’t going to lose to one Curb Stomp after Rollins kicked out of the RKO. Finally, I think I would have preferred Rollins going over here. In retrospect, it doesn’t matter so much. The clean loss actually doesn’t hurt Rollins too much, whereas Orton maybe could have used the win a bit more, at least from a story perspective. Regardless, this was a fun match and I look forward to the rematch. Rating: 7/10 The WWE would like you to know that Ronda Rousey is in the front row and seems to be having a great time. No Disqualifications Sting vs. Triple H I’m surprised how low in the card this is, given that it was perhaps the most hyped match of the show.  Sting has an awesome kabuki percussion entrance with a bunch of people in Sting getup playing drums and banging gongs in time with his entrance music. His WWE theme is still a bit lacklustre in my opinion.  Also, here’s an unpopular opinion: Triple H’s entrance is dumb as fuck. Everything from the Terminator models to his Terminator mask and the tacky Arnie video - “time to play the game” just seem lame to me. But that’s just me, I seem to be in the minority. Maybe if this were an indoors show or at night, I would have been taken in a bit more by a fancy lights show to accompany it. Anyway... Headlock and shoulder block sequence kicks off the match. Triple H runs into a hip toss and Sting hits a nice standing dropkick. “You’ve still got it” says the fans. Trips comes back with his facebuster, but Sting no sells it. He gets a double leg takedown and looks for the Scorpion Deathlock, but Trips bails. He comes back in the ring and resorts to brawling. Sting whips Triple H over the top. Sting follows and tries for a Stinger Splash at ringside, but he misses and lands ribs first on the barricade.  Back in the ring, Trips has a very nasty looking bruise on his upper leg. I think he might’ve landed bad outside of the ring. I hope he hasn’t torn another quad. Trips hits an impressive looking delayed vertical suplex from the apron into the ring for two. Chin lock on Sting. Sting fights out but runs into a spinebuster for two. Trips goes to the second rope and tries a flying something or other, but Sting catches him with a takedown and locks him in the Scorpion Deathlock. “Break It Down”, D-Generation X runs out, sans Chyna and Shawn Michaels. So, the New Age Outlaws and X-Pac. The fans go mental and Sting manages to fend them off. Trips takes advantage of the distraction and tries for a Pedigree, but he gets back dropped for his trouble. Sting then goes to the top rope and hits a crazy dive onto all four guys at ringside. Seriously, Sting’s like fifty something, that’s insane. Back in the ring, Billy Gunn distracts Sting for a moment. Triple H manages to hit the Pedigree this time, but Sting kicks out at two. So Triple H goes hunting under the apron and retrieves his trusty sledgehammer. The nWo theme music then hits and the fans go nuts again. Hogan, Nash and Hall all come out in their nWo gear. They brawl with Pac, Gunn and Road Dogg on the aisle and get the better of the fight. Sting takes advantage of the distraction and hits Triple H with the Scorpion Death Drop, but he only gets two. Sting locks in the Scorpion Death Lock again. Triple H tries to crawl towards his sledgehammer, but Hogan snatches it from him. DX and nWo brawl some more again. Hall actually sets up Road Dogg for the Razor’s Edge, but he gets back dropped at ringside. Seriously, someone give DDP some more credit. If it weren’t for DDP Yoga, that kind of thing would have killed Scott Hall. Shawn Michaels appears out of nowhere and delivers Sweet Chin Music to Sting. Trips gets the pin but again only gets two.  Billy Gunn hands Trips his trusty sledgehammer, and Scott Hall hands Sting his baseball bat. Sting nails Trips with the bat, then snaps the sledgehammer in half, proving the age old question that the baseball bat is truly mightier than the sledgehammer.  Sting beats on Triple H in the corner and hits him with the Stinger Splash. He goes back for a second one, but Triple H takes the head of the sledgehammer and nails Sting in the head with it. He pins him and gets the three count at 18:36. After the match, DX come in and help Triple H up in one corner, while the nWo help Sting up in the other. It seems like we’re about to get a cross faction brawl, but Triple H calls off his DX lapdogs, and instead offers Sting a friendly handshake. Sting accepts it, because inconsistent writing. Verdict: The match itself was good. Sting was working better than probably anyone expected. And he definitely seemed to be delivering as much as he could. The fans were whitehot throughout this match. And it was overbooked to high hell. It didn’t necessarily NEED to be, but it actually still worked. The whole DX/nWo angle was a massive markout moment and the image of both stables in the ring at the same time while undoubtedly be replayed for years to come. Here is my problem though. Or rather, problems. The story. We were sold on this match, not for the WWE vs. WCW connotations, but for something else entirely. This was meant to be Sting “The Vigilante” coming in and trying to dethrone the corrupt and manipulative authority figure at Wrestlemania. He had a bone to pick with Triple H, a wrestler that he had no respect for and he wanted to humble him on the biggest show of the year. Triple H had a position to defend as The Authority, and had a score to settle with Sting, after Sting having caused him so much grief over the last few months. THAT was the story that was built to this match, and that was the story that we were sold on. But when we got the match, it turned out it was really some outdated Monday Night War concept, which doesn’t make sense given that Sting had even sense in his promo on Raw that this wasn’t about WCW, since at this point, that would be ridiculous.  The thing is, the WWE has this concept that Sting and WCW are one in the same. Sure, Sting largely built his reputation in WCW through the 90s, but he has had a very successful career beyond that, which WWE won’t acknowledge. Even Michael Cole said on Wrestlemania Today that Sting hadn’t wrestled in 14-years. A blatant lie and it’s embarrassing that WWE will go that far out of their way to pretend that TNA don’t exist.  It’s just the fact that we saw this storyline develop as one thing, but then pay off in a different way that bothers me. As fun as it was to watch DX and nWo duke it out while Sting and Triple H battle in the ring, that’s not what this match was meant to be about, but Vince obviously thought it was. And I don’t agree with Triple H winning. I was naive enough to think that they go with the happy ending/babyface wins result here, but at the end of the day, this came across as another WCW burial to me. It stroked the ego of Vince McMahon and Triple H and deflated the audience to a degree. My final gripe is the handshake. I don’t care if it’s symbolic of something. I don’t care if it has something to do with the Monday Night Wars being over and like WWE shaking hands WCW or whatever bullshit analogies I’ve seen over the last few days. It didn’t make sense and was out of character. Sting gave Triple H a run for his money, he cost him his job back at Survivor Series, he’s stuck his nose in Triple H’s business for months, and Trips decides to offer him an olive branch after the match? What’s worse is Sting accepting said olive branch. I don’t know about you, but if I had just been smashed in the head with a sledgehammer and was somehow still conscious and coherent, I wouldn’t be inclined to shake that man’s hand. A handshake was inappropriate here. These gripes aside, I was still able to let myself get immersed in the silliness, nostalgia and spectacle of the moment, like having fun watching a bad action movie. And afterall, Wrestlemania is all about spectacle and “Wrestlemania moments”. Rating: 8/10 Backstage, Maria Menounous interviews DBry over the IC title win. Pat Patterson, Roddy Piper, Ricky Steamboat, Ric Flair and Bret Hart all congratulate and endorse him. They all say “yes”. Ron Simmons walks in and says “damn”.  Kind of a fun moment, although the “damn” camped it up a bit too much. I like the fact that they’re at least trying to make the IC title feel relevant again. Some people I don’t really know and the drummer from Blink-182 play some songs. AJ Lee & Paige vs. The Bella Twins Paige is looking fiiiiiiine. I dig her look here, and the blue streaks. AJ looks great of course too. Nikki and Paige kick things off with some ground and pound style brawling. Nikki knocks AJ off the apron and hits Paige with an Alabama Slam for two. Brie gets the tag and hits a missile dropkick for two. She locks Paige in a modified surfboard stretch. AJ gets on the apron, but Brie knocks her off again before enabling ‘Brie Mode’ and hitting Paige with a running knee. Nikki gets tagged in and the Bellas hit a double slingshot suplex on Paige for a near fall. AJ once again gets back on the apron, and for a third time gets knocked off. Nikki hits a spinebuster on Paige. She follows up with the Rack Attack but Paige kicks out at two. And I’d hope so otherwise this would be an absolutely brutal squash match. Nikki rams Paige into their corner, but Paige elbows Brie off the apron and dumps Nikki to ringside. AJ is still down by the way. Paige goes to the apron and hits a rolling senton on The Bellas.  AJ finally gets back on the apron in time to receive the hot tag. AJ hits the Lou Thesz Press on Nikki. She looks for a Tornado DDT but gets sent to the apron. AJ quickly hops up to the top rope and lands a crossbody for the near fall. Nikki gets AJ in an electric chair position, AJ counters with a botchy looking DDT for two. She applies the Black Widow but Brie comes in and breaks it up. Paige comes in with a side kick on Brie. Nikki hits AJ with the FOREARM OF DOOM but only gets a two count. Paige and Brie tumble to ringside and brawl as AJ gets the Black Widow on Nikki again, this time getting the submission win at 6:42. Thoughts: This was perfectly acceptable. Both teams worked hard. There was the suspense of AJ being out of the match and Paige more or less having to solo the Bella Twins, but the suspense just wasn’t there for some reason. I think it’s because no one expected the babyface team to lose so decisively. All four girls worked hard though and while it wasn’t anything NXT level, it is still head and shoulders better than a lot of previous diva matches at Wrestlemania. Rating: 6/10 Next up, the Hall of Fame Class of 2015 is wheeled out on stage to wave to the fans. WWE United States Championship Rusev (c) with Lana vs. John Cena Rusev 100% has the best entrance of the night. Between Lana walking to the ring with the US title accompanied by a squad of Russian soldiers carrying the Russian flag, the Russian National Anthem playing, the artillery on the stage and Rusev driving in on a fucking tank, it was absolutely the best. And the pro-Russian entrance has the fans absolutely livid. Cena has a super patriotic and uplifting American video montage before his entrance. The fans are super into it, but as an Australian, it does little for me. I like how much the fans were into the video, but still vehemently boo Cena when his theme hits anyway. They sing “John Cena sucks” in time with his entrance theme. Thanks for that one Philly! Rusev demands that he bet he first person introduced in the match as well, which is a nice little heel move. Cena opens up with a big clothesline and Rusev responds with a spinning heel kick. He hits a huge gutwrench suplex and Cena does not land flat. Rusev hits a rolling senton in the corner. Lana passes the Russian flag to Rusev who waves it around in the ring. He gives Cena the “you can’t see me” treatment, but gets kicked in the head for his trouble. Cena goes through the Five Moves of Doom, but Rusev slips out of the AA attempt with a spinning back suplex. Rusev tries his jumping side kick, but Cena avoids it and looks for the STF. Rusev counters and hits a spinning side slam for a near fall.  Rusev tries for a superplex, but Cena shoves him off and hits the leg drop from the top for two. “Let’s go Lana” chants in the audience. Cena looks for the AA a second time, but Rusev slips out and hits a jumping side kick. He goes for the Accolade but Cena rolls away. Rusev follows up with a mule kick for two. Cena comes back with a beautiful tornado DDT for a near fall. Both men slug it out and Rusev hits with an Alabama Slam for two. Rusev calls for the Accolade, but Cena trips him up and locks him in the STF. Lana throws her shoes at Cena, Teddy Long style, it’s not very effective. Cena tries a crossbody, but Rusev catches him and hits a fall away slam. He goes up top and hits a huge flying headbutt for a near fall. “Rusev crush!” Rusev tries for the Accolade as Michael Cole mentions that no one has ever broken free of the Accolade. Didn’t Cena do that at Fast Lane? I’m pretty sure Jack Swagger must have too. Out of the five thousand matches they’ve had over the last year, he must have.  Cena avoids The Accolade again and hits a springboard Stunner. Yeah, a Stunner. The crowd pops for it with “USA” chants. Cena looks for an AA again, but Rusev gets out of it and tries another spinning side slam. Cena counters with a roll up for two. Jumping side kick by Rusev and a wheelbarrow slam, he locks Cena in the Accolade finally. Lana cheers, but Cena powers back to his feet. He rams Rusev back into the corner and puts him in the STF. Lana gets on the apron and distracts Cena. Rusev charges at him but misses and knocks Lana down. Cena follows up with an AA for the three count at 14:31. After the match, Cena celebrates and Rusev shouts at Lana before storming off. A ref and a trainer have to help Lana to the back. Thoughts: A pretty good match, just not amazing. It was no better than their Fast Lane match, but it wasn’t actively worse either. I find it a bit odd that Rusev kicked out of the AA at Fast Lane, but was put away with just one at Wrestlemania. Also I’m not sure what to make of Rusev shouting at Lana. Are they hinting on a split, Lana face turn? I’m not sure I like that idea just yet. She’s too good of a heel manager.  I’ve also convinced myself that it’s okay for Rusev to lose here, provided he comes back in some big way. It’s funny because John Cena is as high as you can get in the business, he’s at the point where the world title is dead weight on him. Yet he can still very much elevate the United States Championship. US Champion Cena is a very good thing right now, but I still feel that Rusev should probably win the belt back at some point, whether it’s at Extreme Rules or a little later. If Rusev won here, there wasn’t really anywhere for him to go afterwards except to stagnate a bit, unless they were ready to push him to the world title, which they aren’t. My biggest fear is that in six months time, Rusev will be on Superstars as dancing around “Rusev the Rocking Russian” in a shit tag team with Heath Slater and Hornswoggle. The match though was alright, and Cena was able to win the very vocal fans over in the end.  Rating: 7/10 The Kickoff show panel talk about the preshow matches for a bit. There are loud “NXT” chants from the crowd. The Authority come out and boast about the massive attendance record. Triple H brags about beating Sting, and somehow by proxy, beating all 70,000+ fans in the audience and the millions at home. “The Authority always wins,” says Triple H. The Rock’s music hits and the stadium goes nuts. The Rock comes out and takes his time getting to the ring. The Rock plays up the fact that he is an “East Bay Boy”. Rock and Triple H talk about their rivalry from the Attitude Era. Triple H says that he remembers kicking The Rock’s ass for most of their rivalry, so he doesn’t have anything to prove to him. The Rock tells Triple H that he left his balls in Stamford. Trips takes his jacket off, but Stephanie intervenes and says that without the McMahon family, “there would be no Rock.” She slaps The Rock and tells him to get out of her ring. Stephanie suggests that he wouldn’t hit a woman and tells him to get the hell out. He seems to comply, tuck his tail and leave, but instead he walks around to Ronda Rousey and invites her into the ring. Loud “Ronda Rousey” chants from the crowd. The crowd pops huge when Ronda hops the rail. The Rock says that he wouldn’t hit a woman, but he has a friend that would be happy to. Stephanie insists that her and Ronda are friends and reminds the fans of the fact that Ronda was ringside for her match at SummerSlam. Stephanie starts to antagonize Ronda, rather than do the sane thing and get the fuck out of the ring. Stephanie says that she would never be so foolish as to cross Ronda in the octagon, but that “this is the squared circle”. She kindly tells Ronda to “get the hell out of [her] ring.” Ronda takes the mic and says, “You need to understand something Steph. Any ring I step into is mine. If you want me to leave, then how about you make me?”Steph continues to antagonize and demand that she get the hell out of the ring. The Rock says if Steph keeps running her mouth, Ronda will pull her insides out and play jump rope with her fallopian tubes.Triple H takes the mic and says he’s had enough. The mics go down and The Rock beats on Triple H in the corner. Trips walks into a hip toss from Ronda Rousey. Steph puts her hands on Ronda. Ronda grabs her by the arm but lets her go. The Rock gets back on the mic: “if you smell what The Rock and Ronda is cooking.” This was probably the most newsworthy moment of the night, or maybe second most. The crowd were completely engaged by it, Stephanie was fantastic on the mic, The Rock was into it and the fans popped big for Ronda Rousey. Mixed tags usually suck, but this is a mixed tag that would sell tickets. Ultimately though, I think we’ll be headed for The Rock vs. Triple H at Wrestlemania 32. Nevertheless, Ronda Rousey will surely get involved at some point. There’s way too much money in it for all parties involved for it not to happen. Ronda Rousey in a WWE angle isn’t just good for WWE, but it’s good for Ronda, UFC and the fans alike. My only criticism is that this moment dragged out a bit. It went for over twenty-minutes, they easily could have shaved some time off of that.   Bray Wyatt vs. The Undertaker

They forgo the video package, I guess the Rousey and Rock moment went over time a bit? Wyatt has a creepy entrance with creepy Scarecrows following him to the ring. They remind me of something out of Silent Hill.  Undertaker looks terrific compared to how he was looking last year. I saw some picture of Taker late last year. He was looking pretty grandfatherly. He looked awesome here though. Just goes to show what time at the gym, a healthy diet and hard work can do for you. His entrance isn’t anything to write home about though. Notably though, he is looking close to the American Badass Taker circa 2002-2003. He’s sporting the leather pants and the black singlet with the short black hair. I would like them to do a combination one year, somehow make Undertaker come out on a motorbike while still making it Dead Man themed. I’m thinking Ghostrider.  Wyatt and Taker stare each other down. Wyatt starts rambling and charges Taker, who responds with a big boot. They brawl in the corner and Taker gets an early Old School. Wyatt clotheslines Taker over the top rope, but he lands on his feet and drags Wyatt out then goes “vintage” Undertaker with the apron leg drop. Taker hits snake eyes in the ring and goes for the big boot, but Wyatt avalanches him. He beats on him in the corner for a bit then gets a half nelson locked in. Taker fights out but Wyatt beats him down and rams his head into the ring post. Taker gets Hell’s Gate out of nowhere, but Wyatt clubs his way out of it early. He hits a standing side slam followed up by a running senton for a near fall. Wyatt looks for Sister Abigail and does the old cutthroat sign, but Taker counters it with a chokeslam. He follows up with the Tombstone Piledriver for a close near fall. He looks for a second Tombstone, but Wyatt slips out and hits Sister Abigail for a near fall. Wyatt does the creepy spiderwalk thing, and Undertaker does his creepy sit up thing for a huge response. They stare each other down. They slug it out and Wyatt goes for Sister Abigail again, but Taker slips out of it and hits the second Tombstone Piledriver for the three count at 15:12. Thoughts: It’s a relief to see how great Taker looked here, and apparently there’s already some strong conversation about him working against Sting next year. This was better than his match with Lesnar last year. But when you compare this with Undertaker’s Mania classics (i.e. HBK, Triple H, CM Punk etc.), it just doesn’t quite hold up. There was a lot of sitting around doing nothing. A lot of mindless brawling and punching. I imagine they wanted Taker to have an easy and safe match after last year, but it made for a fairly unexciting match, although I will say I bought into the first Tombstone Piledriver as the end of the match, hook, line and sinker.  I was originally of the opinion that Wyatt should win this. But considering Undertaker’s legacy, his loss last year and the potential for him to continue working Mania, I think it’s better for him to win. Wyatt can bounce back easily enough.  Rating: 5/10 WWE World Heavyweight Championship Brock Lesnar (c) with Paul Heyman vs. Roman Reigns Babyface Reigns gets the most negative reaction of the night. Fans boo him all the way to the ring, and the announce table talk about how unlikely it is for him to defeat the undefeatable Lesnar. This leaves me nervous as to the result of this match. I will say, Reigns’ entrance with the revolving camera and the pyro around the stadium was cool to look at. Heel Lesnar gets a huge babyface pop as expected. Heyman insists that he does Lesnar’s introductions for him and takes the mic from Lillian. Heyman’s been giving her a hard time lately. I will say, Heyman’s introduction was much grander than Lillian’s would have been. The match opens with an immediate stiff brawl. Reigns is throwing wild stiff punches, and for a moment it feels like a shoot fight. Lesnar hits a German suplex and follows up with an F5. Lesnar is bleeding and has a cut on his face from one of Reigns’ punches. Rather than pin him, Lesnar knees the shit out of him and beats on him in the corner. Fisherman suplex, deadlifting Reigns across the ring. Reigns starts fighting back with clotheslines, but Lesnar turns into an indestructible brick wall that absorbs wrestling moves. Each clothesline does nothing. Lesnar unleashes a pair of suplexes on Reigns as he utters the lines on his next t-shirt: “Suplex City, bitch!” Lesnar delivres another two German suplexes and hangs Reigns up on the apron. He beats on him some more and knocks him off into the barricade.  Reigns gets back on the apron and tries to come back with some legit stiff knees to the face, and the fans boo strongly whenever Roman gets the slightest offense in. Lesnar takes Reigns’ head off with a brutal clothesline, bouncing him off the apron. I’m surprised Reigns is still conscious after that. Lesar hits a vertical suplex in the ring, followed by a belly-to-belly suplex. Reigns mouth is busted open. Lesnar hits him with the second F5 of the match and pins, but only gets two.  Lesnar smiles and takes off the gloves and starts bitch slapping the shit out of Reigns. Reigns laughs it off, but takes another stroll through the streets of Suplex City. Lesnar hits a third F5 and pins, but Reigns kicks out before three and looks kind of surprised. “He’s disrespecting you!” shouts Heyman.  Lesnar drags Reigns to ringside and has some heinous plan involving the ring post, but Reigns shoves him head first into the steel post. Lesnar immediately starts gushing blood from the head. You haven’t seen blood like this in a WWE match in years. The rumourmill says that Lesnar bladed, but if he did, then he did it damn quick.  Lesnar is dazed and busted open, but manages to return to the ring before ten. For a second there I thought they were going to end the match with a count out, because it did wonders for Wrestlemania 27. Reigns hits two Superman Punches, and Lesnar is still standing. Lesnar tries a German, but Reigns elbows his way out of it and hits a third Superman Punch which finally floors Lesnar. He hits a spear. Lesnar recovers quickly, Reigns follows up with a second spear. He pins him but only gets two.  Reigns calls for another Superman Punch, but Lesnar catches him with an F5! Lesnar drops to the mat and both men are down.  SETH ROLLINS’ THEME HITS AND ROLLINS RUNS TO THE RING WITH HIS BRIEFCASE. The ref passes the briefcase to Lillian at ringside. Lillian then announces that “Seth Rollins is cashing in his Money in the Bank contract, and this match is now a triple threat match!” So that’s history making there in more ways than one. The crowd is going apeshit over this as Rollins kicks Reigns out of the ring and hits Lesnar with a Curb Stomp. He starts to recover immediately, he goes for a second Curb Stomp, but Lesnar catches him. He tries for an F5, but Reigns runs in with a spear on Lesnar. Rollins lands on his feet and Lesnar falls out of the ring. Rollins quickly hits Reigns with a Curb Stomp and pins him for the win and the world title at 16:43. Thoughts: That’ll go down as one of the most memorable finishes to a Mania main event ever. WWE absolutely shit the bed with their build up to this, but they managed to make it work in the end. Roman Reigns takes a beating he needs to take to get sympathy from the fans, Lesnar remains the absolute walking tank that he is by not taking the pinfall and Seth Rollins is the new champion. The ending still screams damage control to me, but it was probably the best outcome possible. Hopefully they book Rollins like a proper champion and not as a coward that needs two cruiserweights to do his dirtywork for him. The match was surprisingly good in a certain way. It wasn’t a technical masterpiece, but it was a well told story in the way that it was built up as a big fight, and it delivered as a big fight. it’s not like the Triple H vs. Sting match which was built up as Sting vs. Triple H but turned out to be WCW vs. WWE. This delivered what was promised. Reigns got in a few good hits, while Lesnar still looked dominant as hell. Reigns, I think, will get over more from this in the long run by losing and taking a beating than he ever would have by actually winning the title off of Lesnar. The fans aren’t ready for Reigns yet and he’s not ready for them, but this helps a lot. Rollins will make a great heel champion with a lot of great potential contenders in the meantime.  Maybe my mind will change on this match over time, but right now it feels like it was great. It feels like it delivered. I was entertained, and it also felt very much like a shoot fight. I wonder if Reigns was encouraged to work so stiff because it was with Lesnar, or if maybe he had ulterior motives? Probably the former.  Rating: 8/10 Verdict: This show is still very fresh. A lot of people are making wild claims that this is a contender for best Mania of all time. Give it a few weeks and people will calm down about it. It was a very good Wrestlemania. It was a very well rounded Wrestlemania. There was nothing actively bad on the show. There were some questionnable things, I’m still iffy on Triple H vs. Sting, but it delivered on some level and some fans would have loved it. The ladder match was great, the main event was great and most of everything else was at least good in some way. The Rock and Ronda Rousey spot was also huge and notbale. Overall, this felt like what Wrestlemania should feel like. It was a huge stadium show with huge matches and memorable moments. Wrestlemania is meant to be a spectacle, and this was a spectacle.  There weren’t any classic five star matches IMO. But there weren’t any stinkers either. Nope, it’s not contender for best Mania of all time, but it is a very, very good Mania. Top ten for sure, maybe top five. But not the best. Overall Rating: 7/10

[thelowblow]

30 Title Changes Over 30 Days

The Iron Sheik (c) vs. Hulk Hogan for the WWF Heavyweight Championship, January 23rd 1984

Less than a month after his return as a babyface to the WWF, Hulk Hogan becomes the first man to break The Iron Sheik’s Camel Clutch. He went on to defeat the heel champion with a leg drop, beginning a four-year title reign and kickstarting Hulkamania. 

[thelowblow]

Wrestlemania 31 Predictions

WWE Tag Team Championship Fatal Four-Way Kidd & Cesaro (c) vs. The Usos vs. The New Day vs. Los Matadores I think this is a preshow match. One Uso is injured and neither New Day or Los Matadores are over. Kidd & Cesaro will almost certainly retain. They haven’t had the titles for too long and the fans generally dig them.  Prediction: Kidd & Cesaro to retain Randy Orton vs. Seth Rollins While an Orton win wouldn’t completely shock me, I think this is a Rollins win. They’ve kept him relatively strong. He’s the future of the WWE, Mr. Money in the Bank, and there’s an outside chance he may be cashing in soon. A loss to Orton is unnecessary. I see Orton doing the job here. Prediction: Seth Rollins to win AJ Lee & Paige vs. The Bellas Nikki has beaten both AJ and Paige in singles matches. The heels are in a much better position than the babyfaces. There are no titles on the line, the Bellas are on their way out and this is Wrestlemania. We get the happy ending here. Prediction: AJ & Paige to win Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal The possible contenders are Miz, Mizdow, Ryback, Axel or Sheamus. Sheamus is probably making a return at Wrestlemania, they might decide to just throw him into the battle royal and give him the meaningless win there. They might throw “Axelmania” a bone and give him the fun win, although I doubt it. Ryback is also a contender. But I think Miz and Mizdow will be the serious options. We were expecting a Miz vs. Mizdow match, instead they’re in the battle royal. I think we’ll see Mizdow finally step out of Miz’s shadow and get the big win he deserves, and then we’ll probably get some shenanigans with the trophy on Raw the next night. Prediction: Damien Mizdow WWE Intercontinental Championship Ladder Match Bad News Barrett (c) vs. Dean Ambrose vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Stardust. vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. R-Truth vs. Luke Harper I think Harper, Truth and Stardust are ruled out. None of which are in a position to be champion currently. Not when they’re up against BNB, Ambrose, Bryan and Ziggler. BNB deserves to retain since his return has been so lacklustre, while Ambrose also deserves a PPV win for once. Ziggler and Bryan both deserve better things on Wrestlemania. I’m putting my money on Daniel Bryan getting the win. Sheamus is a wild card in this match too though. Prediction: Daniel Bryan Bray Wyatt vs. The Undertaker Undertaker’s streak is broken, Bray Wyatt is a rising star who has singlehandedly carried this feud. Logic says Bray should win. But I feel like Undertaker will get the win to recoup his loss from last year. Bray, at the very least, can bounce back.  Prediction: The Undertaker  WWE United States Championship Rusev (c) vs. John Cena I really want to say that Cena does the right thing and puts over Rusev. Instead, I think we’ll see a repeat of Wrestlemania 30 with Wyatt, and Cena will get the babyface win over the evil heel. Rusev’s been kept really strong in this build up, it’s hard to see Cena getting beaten down so hard, and then getting beaten again at Mania. I wouldn’t rule out a dodgy finish involving a DQ or a bullshit count out or something.  Prediction: John Cena (possibly by DQ) Sting vs. Triple H There is a small part of me that fears that Vince’s ego will interfere in this match. Sting is still so strongly affiliated with WCW, 14-years after its demise. There is a small part of me that can see Vince booking a horrible ending where Triple H wins, feeding both Vince and Trips’ egos. If this were like 2003/2004, I could have seen a Triple H win. But it’s 2015. And ultimately, that’s bad for business and makes no sense. This isn’t a match about putting people over or building up a future storyline. This is one of those dream matches. Not so much of a dream match as Sting vs. Taker would have been. But it’s a dream match nonetheless. No reason for Triple H to win at all. Prediction: Sting WWE World Heavyweight Championship Brock Lesnar (c) vs. Roman Reigns Ugh, I don’t know, and I’m starting not to care. I think it depends on if Lesnar has re-signed or not. If we get to Sunday and Lesnar hasn’t signed a new contract, then Reigns wins, and Rollins cashes in. If he has, then there’s a good chance Lesnar retains. Roman Reigns has not worked out like Vince wanted him to. He has not gotten over with the fans, he does not get the reactions of Daniel Bryan or Dolph Ziggler or even Damien Mizdow. The fans don’t care about him. Having Wrestlemania end with Reigns winning will probably be the flattest ending to a Wrestlemania in history. I’m not sure if we’re headed for a rehash of Goldberg vs. Lesnar as a lot of people suggest, I just think we’re headed for a main event that people won’t care about, because it involves a man that might not be with the company much longer, and another man that we haven’t connected with yet. It might be a good match, who knows, but probably not. I’m going to take a punt and say Reigns wins, and loses to a Rollins cash-in either at Mania, or the next night. Prediction: Roman Reigns

[thelowblow]

WWE Raw Thoughts (23/3)

+ Sting’s appearance was an awesome way to kick off Raw. He seemed crazy loose and like he was genuinely having a good time. Stephanie’s mannerisms was great. Triple H and Sting’s face off was pretty cool and a good way to rev up the crowd to start the show. I do wonder why they didn’t get into a punch up this week though to really sell the match. We’ve already seen them brawl, so it’s not like they’re saving the physicality for Mania. I thought maybe this would be the show where The Authority one ups Sting and we’d see some kind of Kane & Big Show run-in to build a bit more drama for Mania. But still, I really liked the segment. + Ambrose & Truth vs. Stardust & Harper... it was a pretty good match. It was fun and helped build up their ladder match. BNB was also solid on commentary, I wish they would give him more mic time. I wish they would just push him in general. And I really hope they do something with Stardust and Luke Harper, both guys individually need something new, perhaps a gimmick overhaul or something. Still, good workers and a good match. + 10-man tag match... it was alright. I liked Bill Simmons on commentary actually. I usually dislike guest announcers like this, but he was kind of funny to listen to. Especially the way he used terms like “put over” and “wrestlers” as opposed to superstars. The match was pretty good too. Built a little more towards the inevitable Miz/Mizdow breakup. It was cool to see the five-man job squad get a win too. Although they otherwise haven’t really done much to hype up the battle royal this year. It’s a match that just feels like an afterthought. + Nikki Bella (c) vs. Paige... I thought the plot of offering AJ or Paige a title match, just to mess with them and get an advantage for a non-title tag match at Wrestlemania was absolutely dumb and made the Bellas look moronic. It makes this tag match seem like a bigger deal than the Diva’s Championship, which it isn’t. And I could do without the Paige/AJ “frenemy” shit. However, the match was actually really good. It still blows my mind how good Nikki has become in the ring. They’re really legit giving the divas a chance, this was like a ten-minute match, and they made the most of their minutes. Ultimately, the match did what it was meant to do - it hyped up their Mania match. Beforehand I was pretty lukewarm about the match, but now I’m actually feeling like they’ll pull out a damn decent match... just as long as WWE doesn’t cut their match time short in favour of an awful music segment or something. + Snoopmania/Axelmania/Hulkamania... it was silly, and I rolled my eyes when Snoop Dogg came to the ring. Never been a fan. But this was one of the better celebrity appearances. He didn’t have to do much and didn’t take up too much TV time. And even though Curtis Axel got decked by Hogan and dumped out of the ring by Snoop Dogg of all people, it’s still got to be good for Axel. They gave him a segment with Hulk Hogan and a celebrity. That’s pretty good.  + Swagger vs. Rusev #9436 feat. John Cena... I’m not sure who has it in for Swagger that they send him out to job to Rusev every other day, but it just doesn’t seem necessary to me. Rusev did look crazy strong and ruthless here. Like audiences, I’m missing Lana at ringside too. I’m assuming (hoping) she’ll be there at Wrestlemania. It seems insane that they wouldn’t have her accompany Rusev to the biggest match of his career to date. I am interested in the Cena/Rusev match, but given how much they’ve protected Rusev in the weeks leading up, I feel like we’re going to see Cena “overcome the odds”, and I don’t think that’s the right play. + Bray Wyatt’s promo was fantastic. Few people in the WWE could carry an entire “feud” purely on their own, but Wyatt is one of them. I’m not going to lie, having Undertaker make even one quick appearance on the go-home show would have done wonders to the build up. It’s hard to get heaps excited about this feud when we haven’t seen The Undertaker in a year. But nevertheless, Bray’s done awesome stuff on the mic and I’m really keen to see how things go down on Sunday. + Bryan vs. Ziggler... Ambrose was the special guest referee, but it didn’t make much of a difference, although he was slow to make some counts. The match was solid and I’d still love to see a big Bryan vs. Ziggler match at Mania, but it’ll likely never happen. Still, solid match and the post-match antics with he ladder and all the ladder match contestants was kind of fun.

- Randy Orton vs. Seth Rollins & J&J Security... It’s good (and obvious) that Rollins and Orton wouldn’t be in the ring together too much. The match wasn’t bad or anything. Just the build up to this match has blown. The pacing has been awful. We’ve already seen Orton get his hands on Rollins. I think it would have been better to see Rollins have more of an impact rather than just run off while Orton beats down Noble and Mercury. He’s developing into a 2002 Chris Jericho-esque style heel with a huge ego, everyone knows he’s a great wrestler, but he’s also an absolute coward. I’m not sure I like that. - Interspecies tag match... the match wasn’t bad. Everyone in the ring is solid. I just am not excited for any of these teams at Mania. We’ve had a bunch of thrown together tag matches and not much actual build up. I like Kidd & Cesaro, I just don’t care for the current storyline (or lack thereof) they’re in. - Lesnar and Reigns face off. There was so much riding on this. In two months, this is the only time we’ve really seen Lesnar and Reigns physically in the ring with each other to build up their match, and they dropped the ball. Heyman’s prom was great, as always, he’s the best manager in the business. But this was a segment that didn’t need a great go home promo. It needed to be physical. People aren’t chomping at the bit to see Reigns vs. Lesnar, and withholding them getting their hands on each other isn’t getting anyone further excited. Reigns snatching the belt from Lesnar was a great moment and got a real “aw shit, he did not just do that” moment from the fans. Then they RUINED it by having Lesnar try to grab it back and play tug-o-war. “The Beast Incarnate” Brock Lesnar would not just play tug-o-war with a title belt, he would ANNIHILATE the man that disrespected him in such a way. The appropriate follow-up would have been a massive brawl. Even if it were just a few right hands before Lesnar bailing with the title to avoid a spear or something, that would have been enough to at least heat things up a bit. But no, Lesnar and Reigns play tug-o-war with the belt, and the show fades out.  Really? This is the way WWE wants to close an otherwise really solid show? Fans have been SO against Reigns vs. Lesnar, and this was their chance to at least try to win some fans over, and they blew it. I just don’t get it. Did they have more to it and run out of time? Did they not like the “Let’s Go Lesnar” cheers and the boos for Reigns so they cut it short? I just don’t understand that awful final segment. Did Vince think that just having Roman Reigns in the same ring as Brock Lesnar would be earthshattering enough to sell people on Mania? What the hell just happened? Ignoring the incredibly flat and bewildering close, Raw was otherwise really solid. The matches were tight, the divas are getting a chance, most of the matches are starting to shape up okay. All in all, pretty good (excluding the last five minutes).

[thelowblow]

A Wrestlemania Rant

It's a peeve of mine (usually) when fans have a sook and say they're going to cancel their subscriptions and stop watching wrestling because of some silly decisions in WWE i.e. their favourite wrestler is jobbing, some match was dumb etc. But having said that, I totally support anyone who cancels their subscription and bails on the WWE right now, and it makes me a bit sad to say that. But fuck the WWE right now. If I weren't keen on watching old PPVs, I'd cancel, and there is the potential for Vince McMahon's Roman boner to go flaccid and for things to creatively change, but ultimately, it feels very hard to justify spending money on a company that completely disregards their fan base. At the end of the day, I am a paying consumer. If I were one in a million thinking "Pfft, Reigns? He blows, push Bryan instead!" then I'd sit down and shut up and force myself to enjoy Reigns vs. Lesnar. But the fact that a very strong majority of the WWE's consumer base is completely and utterly against Roman Reigns or at the very least, have no interest in the Mania main event, it just doesn't sit right with me.  This is the first Wrestlemania that I'm just really not excited for. I feel like all the worst case scenarios are going to happen. Rusev will likely job to Cena, because you gotta keep Cena strong apparently. Wyatt will job to Taker to make up for Taker's loss last year. The Intercontinental title will continue to be meaningless. Reigns will win the world title and Rollins won't cash in. I'm calling it now, these are things that will happen. Roman Reigns is a perfectly fine wrestler in that he isn't actively bad. But he is boring and dull. He is very "been there; done that". When I look at Roman Reigns, I see Batista, Bobby Lashley, John Cena, Goldberg etc. I don't see Roman Reigns. Because I have not connected with Roman Reigns on any level. His promos suck hard and he hasn't been around nearly long enough to justify the monster push he is in the middle of.  Ambrose and Rollins have connected with the fans. When The Shield broke up, they both became their own unique characters. Rollins became the corporate shill out for himself, while Ambrose became "unstable" and manic and entertaining as hell. Roman Reigns? He still works as though The Shield never broke up. He still enters through the crowd, he still uses The Shield theme music, he still dresses in the Shield gear. Roman Reigns doesn't have a character because he is still just a Shield member that didn't the memo that his stable broke up.  Roman Reigns COULD be a big deal if they gave him a more organic push, but WWE hasn't been capable of that since WCW went out of business. WWE used to push the guys that were over. They didn't hand pick guys and force feed them to the audience (although an argument could be made for Diesel), they were forced to pay attention to who the fans were into and go from there. Could you imagine if WWE had a Roman Reigns in 1998 that they wanted to push instead of a white hot Stone Cold Steve Austin? Could you imagine if WWE had a Roman Reigns in 1996 that they wanted to push to the title instead of Shawn Michaels? They would have gone out of fucking business because people would have been bored as shit and changed to channel to Nitro. The funny thing is that in this day in age, we have more alternatives than ever thanks to the glorious internet. We have access to amazing promotions in Japan and a host of independent wrestling promotions from around the world - yet at the same time, WWE almost seems to be competitionless. TNA is the #2 company, but they are such a distant second place that it's not even funny. RoH is even further at #3.  WWE alter their levels on Raw to make certain wrestlers appear more over than they actually are, and vise-versa. For example, when Roman Reigns gets a few shitty cheers, they pump the volume up to make it sound bigger. When the place erupts for Daniel Bryan, as they do, they turn the crowd mics down. Not only is this shithouse and deceiving to the fans, it's also the kind of shit that WWE has regularly made fun of WCW over in the past.  What does it also tell us? They know Daniel Bryan is who we want, and they don't care.  Backstage politics, favouritism and other bullshit is getting in the way of what could be a fantastic and crazy profitable product. As it stands, Wrestlemania 31 could potentially be the worst we've had in years, or possibly ever. Roman Reigns is somehow even less over than Lex Luger was in 1994. The other day, a friend of mine who has had a casual interest in WWE for years, asked me what the Wrestlemania card was looking like. I said that the main event was Lesnar vs. Reigns. He said "who?" Roman Reigns isn't a name that a lot of people identify with. The kids and the marks may get behind him because the WWE says so, but wrestling is smarkier than ever. Most of the fans will reject him come Wrestlemania.  Now it's possible that I'm completely wrong and off the mark. Maybe Mania comes around and it's amazing. Maybe WWE has a few tricks up their sleeve. Maybe Reigns vs. Lesnar will be awesome somehow, and it'll be an awesome moment seeing Reigns crowned with the world title. But more than likely it won't be any of that. It will be a very weak match because neither Lesnar or Reigns could carry a match with a bucket. Reigns will pull a win out of his ass, Lesnar will make him look "strong". Reigns will raise the title in the air and Levi's Stadium will do a combination of boo the hell out of him, or just stand up and silently file out of the building, while imagining what Lesnar vs. Bryan would have been like instead. The three most over men - IMO - that could have reasonably stepped up and challenged Lesnar, are Daniel Bryan, Dolph Ziggler and Dean Ambrose. All three men are going to be challenging for a meaningless belt in a meaningless ladder match. I can't imagine why any wrestler would want the Intercontinental Championship any more. At one stage it might have been a big prestigious belt, and sure, big names have held it such as Rock, Triple H, Stone Cold, Jericho, Edge, Orton etc. but whoever holds it now seems destined to job in non-title matches on TV every week. The IC title means nothing. It's not even a consolation prize any more. It's a flimsy crutch the talentless hacks in creative slump over to cram midcarders into matches and fill TV time with. It could be so much more. But it isn't, and even after what will actually probably be a really good match, it will still mean nothing. WWE has butchered Daniel Bryan. Butchered him. He was insanely over when he came back from injury. They threw him into the Royal Rumble, I can only assume to get some more interest in the event, only to have him eliminated insanely early. Then they had him job to Reigns at Fast Lane in a pathetic attempt to get Bryan fans to cheer for Reigns. Apparently it's the "Yes" chant that's over, not Bryan. If that's true, why would they need Bryan to put over Reigns?  This rant was longer than I expected. But like I've been saying since last year. Roman Reigns shouldn't be pushed too quickly. Let him build his own character, connect with the fans and work with some midcard guys for 6-12 months. Maybe have a run with the US title and build his way up to the main event. Cena, Orton, Angle, Rock, Triple H, Austin - all guys who held a midcard title and "paid their dues" on their way to the top. But it seems like Vince can't hold his wad in and they're determined to blow it all at Wrestlemania 31. Reigns will win, fans will boo, ratings will drop, the network will suffer and WWE still won't listen.

[thelowblow]

[Retro Review] WWF Wrestlemania XV

Philadelphia, PA Approx 20,000 in attendance Announcers: Michael Cole & Jerry Lawler Champions:

WWF Champion: The Rock WWF Intercontinental Champion: Road Dogg WWF European Champion: Shane McMahon WWF Hardcore Champion: Billy Gunn WWF Tag Team Champions: Jeff Jarrett & Owen Hart WWF Light Heavyweight Champion: Gillberg WWF Women's Champion: Sable You know it's a 90's wrestling pay-per-view when Boyz 2Men open the show. WWF Hardcore Championship Triple Threat Match Billy Gunn (c) vs. Al Snow vs. Hardcore Holly Snow is pretty over, or at least, Head is pretty over. Billy Gunn gets a huge pop, and Hardcore Holly actually has a lot of heat here, contrary to the usual silent treatment fans give him. Billy Gunn tries to cut a promo in the ring but Holly and Snow jump him and beat him down. The three brawl and Holly and Gunn drop Snow with a double elbow. Holly turns Gunn inside out with a big clothesline. The match quickly goes ringside where Gunn gets thrown into the stairs and Holly suplexes Snow on the pads at ringside. Gunn tries for a piledriver over the stairs on Holly, but Snow intervenes - you wouldn't want your opponents to hurt each other after all! Al Snow busts out the weapons, starting with a hockey stick. He dumps a box of refreshments on Hardcore Holly, and Billy Gunn snaps the hockey stick over Holly's back. Snow brings a broomstick into the ring and it gets snapped in half some how. He beats Gunn and Holly down with the broken broomstick for about eight hours before Gunn finally leaves the ring and retrieves a chair, but Snow beats him down with the broom stick some more. He sets the chair up and puts Gunn in the corner and launches himself at him with a Poetry in the Motion type move, using the chair as a substitute Matt Hardy. The camera angle fucks up big time, zooming in on Billy Gunn's face while Holly actually does something to Snow. Snow lays everyone out with Head and then sets up a table in the corner of the ring. Gunn ends up slamming Snow through the table. He follows up with a Fameasser over the chair on Snow, but Holly breaks up the pin with a chair shot to Gunn. Holly then pins Snow for the Hardcore title win at 7:07. Thoughts: It was your typical Attitude Era weapon brawl, where no one sold for anyone and it became completely boring immediately. The end spot was kind of neat and the crowd was at least pretty hot for it, so I guess there's that.

Rating: 3/10 WWF Tag Team Championship Jeff Jarrett (c) & Owen Hart (c) with Debra vs. D'Lo Brown & Test with Ivory Test is wearing a delightful shirt that says 'Guns Don't Kill People - I Kill People'. I imagine his grandmother knitted it for him. Test and D'Lo get into an argument at ringside already. They're playing the mismatched odd couple tag team that hate each other tonight. Debra probably gets the pop of the night for coming to the ring basically just in a bikini. D'Lo and Test beat on Jarrett and Owen. Test hits a big boot on Owen and clotheslines him to ringside. Jarrett and D'Lo do the old shoulder block + hip toss routine. D'Lo hits a clothesline and a flying forearm and both men tag out. Test hits a powerbomb on Owen. Michael Cole says that this is Owen Hart's tenth Wrestemania. I feel like that's probably wrong. Owen avoids a powerslam and hits an enziguiri. He tries for the Sharpshooter, but D'Lo makes the save. Test tags out and hits a leg drop. He cheap shots Jarrett off the apron. Owen comes back with a spinning heel kick and a beautiful gutwrench suplex before tagging in Jarrett. D'Lo hits a double clothesline on the champs and gives both of them scoop slams while Test just chills on the apron. D'Lo hits Owen with a heel kick. Jarrett jumps into a Sky High from D'Lo but Owen breaks up the pinfall, prompting Test to stop chilling out so hard on the apron. Test brawls with Owen while Debra and Ivory get into each other's faces. Test ignores the match in the ring and involves himself in the diva issue at ringside while D'Lo tries a powerbomb on Jarrett. Owen Hart sneaks in with a missile dropkick from the top rope. Jarrett quickly gets a bridge pin for three at 3:57. D'Lo and Test end up brawling at ringside after the match.

Thoughts: It was too short to be particularly offensive, but also too short to be any good as well. It just felt like Raw filler as opposed to a Wrestlemania championship match. Rating: 5/10

Isaac Hayes is in the audience tonight. And so is The Mean Street Posse.

Brawl for All Butterbean vs. Bart Gunn

Butterbean punches Bart Gunn in the face for the KO at 0:35.

Thoughts: I’m not going to review or rate this. I’m not really a boxing fan and I think it’s silly to think that WWE audiences would enjoy a boxing tournament. If people want boxing, they’ll watch boxing. “The Big Show” Paul Wight vs. Mankind The winner of this match gets to referee the main event. Corporate Big Show comes out to the No Chance theme, and the announcers mostly refer to him as Paul Wight. I guess Big Show hadn’t quite found himself yet. Mankind gets a nice big babyface pop. This was really probably the peak of Foley’s overness, post-Hell in a Cell bump career. Big Show misses a clothesline but hits a big boot. Mankind falls out of the ring froma  headbutt. Lots of ringside brawling. Mankind pounds Show’s head into the stairs and looks for a double arm DDT, but Show just shoves him back into the stairs. Big Show hits a Russian leg sweep in the ring for two. Mankind pulls out Mr. Socko and gets the Mandible Claw, but Show headbutts out of it. Mankind gets the mandible claw a second time, but Show punches out of it. Mankind gets a third Mandible Claw and hits Show with a low blow, and the ref doesn’t seem to care much. Show starts to fade, but he recovers and slams Foley back into the canvas. Show grabs a steel chair and hits Foley a few times with it, the ref is okay with this. Show sets up two chairs in the ring and chokeslams Foley through both of them. The referee finally decides “Ehh, I should probably disqualify Big Show for this,” and calls for the bell at 6:52. Thoughts: So, this wasn’t a no DQ match? After all the ringside nonsense, low blows and chair shots, it’s hard to believe that this was just a regular standard singles match. The match blew pretty hard and felt like a typical Attitude Era brawl. Foley at least made Show look kind of strong. Rating: 3/10 After the match, Vinnie Mac comes out and gets in Big Show’s face, since Foley is now the ref tonight. Show motions to chokeslam Vince, but he backs down. He ends up punching him out instead. Vince gets dragged to the back and he tells the stooges to call the cops on Big Show. WWF Intercontinental Championship Four Corner Elimination Match Road Dogg © vs. Goldust with The Blue Meanie & Ryan Shamrock vs. Ken Shamrock vs. Val Venis Road Dogg gets the usual big pop. Goldust comes out with an interesting entourage of The Blue Meanie and Ryan Shamrock – I guess she moved on from Val Venis. “You know what they call a pretty girl in Philadelphia? A tourist!” King’s jokes are great. Venis gets a decent pop and cuts a brief pointless promo in the ring. Shamrock gets some decent heel heat. Shamrock charges the ring and immediately brawls with Goldust while Road Dogg and Venis go at it. Shamrock hits a hurracanrana on Goldust, sending him out of the ring. Shamrock and Road Dogg hit Venis with a double elbow, then Shamrock clotheslines Road Dogg. Road Dogg and Shamrock brawl for a bit. Road Dogg hits a standing dropkick and tags out to Goldust. Goldust comes in with a spinebuster. Shamrock tags out to Venis. Venis decides to pause the match to stomp Ken Shamrock a bunch of times, but Goldust gets impatient and back suplexes him for two. He looks for the Curtain Call but VEnis slips out the back and hits a spinebuster for a near fall. They go up top and Goldust botches a superplex in the corner. Venis covers it up with a bulldog from the second rope for two. Venis hits a gorgeous bridged fisherman suplex for a near fall. Venis and Goldust have a meeting of the minds and Venis falls head first into Goldust’s crotch. Shamrock comes in and DDTs Goldust, and Road Dogg DDTs Val Venis. Goldust pins for two. Road Dogg takes Goldust’s place in the ring. Venis hits a few corner clotheslines and locked Road Dogg into a bear hug. Road Dogg hits the old shake, rattle ‘n roll combo on Venis. Shamrock tries to interrupt but Road Dogg hits him with a forearm and a knee drop. Venis hits a back suplex on Road Dogg for two. I’ve lost track of who is legal now. Road Dogg hits a pumphandle slam on Venis. Shamrock gets a blind tag and puts Venis in the Ankle Lock. Venis gets a rope break and dumps Shamrock to ringside. Ryan Shamrock gets in Ken’s face and Venis hits him with a baseball slide. They end up brawling down the aisle before getting counted out. So Val Venis and Ken Shamrock are eliminated in the weakest way possible. Goldust and Road Dogg go at it, but Ken Shamrock enters the ring and gives them both belly-to-belly suplexes because HE’S THE WORLD’S MOST DANGEROUS MAN!!! Goldust pins Dogg for two. Ryan trips up Goldust for some reason. Goldust is distracted and hits a powerslam on Road Dogg, but he rolls through for the pin and the win at 9:46. After the match, Goldust yells at Ryan Shamrock who plays dumb.

Thoughts: For Attitude Era standards, this was okay. I’m not sure if it would hold up today though. They should have just done away with the tag team mechanic of the match in my opinion, it would have made things a lot less complicated. Rating: 5/10 In the carpark, Big Show is being arrested by some men dressed up as police. They quite clearly are not driving police cars and I don’t think they even bother to handcuff Big Show. I’m convinced! Kane vs. Triple H Silly feud. I believe it started over Kane shooting a fireball at Chyna, Chyna turning heel and aligning herself with Kane, Triple H shooting Kane with a flamethrower etc. Nope, not making this shit up. Before the match starts, Pete Rose comes out in a chicken suit and attacks Kane. Kane gives him a Tombstone Piledriver to continue the epic Pete Rose vs. Kane feud. Triple H sneaks in the backdoor and hits Kane with an early low blow. They brawl in the corner. Trips backdrops Kane over the ropes and they brawl around the ring. Kane goes into the ring post and the ring stairs. Kane is on the apron but Trips hits him with a high knee and sends him into the barricade. Kane rams Triple H into the ring post a bunch of times then brawls with him in the corner of the ring. He hits a leg drop and a clothesline then dumps Trips out of the ring. Kane hits an impressive running plancha over the top rope but it doesn’t get much of a response, this crowd is dead in the water. Kane goes up to the top rope, but Triple H brings him down with an arm drag. He hits the facebuster and a high knee just as Chyna comes out to ringside. Trips gets distracted and Kane tries to capitalize with a Tombstone Piledriver, but Trips slips out and sets up the Pedigree. Kane counters with a double leg takedown and an elbow drop for two. Meanwhile, Chyna slides the top part of the ring stairs into the ring. Kane tries to use them on Trips, but Trips kicks them back in Kane’s face and trips him up face first into the steps. The ref is cool with this. They go back to brawling around the ring. Trips looks to Pedigree Kane over the ring stairs, but Kane back drops him. They return to the ring and Kane lands the chokeslam. Instead of pinning him, Chyna gets on the apron with a steel chair and seems to say that she wants to finish off Trips with it. Kane of course turns his back, allowing Chyna to attack him with the chair. The ref calls for the bell. Triple H ends up blindsiding Kane with multiple chair shots. He hits a Pedigree over the chair, and Triple H and Chyna embrace in some kind of weak victory. Don’t get too comfortable Chyna! Thoughts: This was just a brawl - and a boring one at that, and they kept hopping in and out of the ring. I didn’t find it entertaining. The crowd were pretty dead through most of Kane’s bland offense too, they only really woke up once Chyna came out. Rating: 4/10 Meanwhile, Kevin Kelly interviews Vinnie Mac. He says that he has a nice referee shirt in his bag and that tonight, he will be the special guest referee, because of bad writing. WWF Women’s Championship Sable © vs. Tori Sable cuts a bad promo. “This is for all the women who want to be me, and all the men that came to see me.” Then she dances. Tori is wearing a weird Giant Gonzales-esque skintight cat suit tonight. Tori keeps trying to get in the ring but Sable half assedly kicks her out each time and dances around. Tori drags Sable out and throws her into the apron and then into the barricade. Sable comes back and does some awful dive off the apron as if she were jumping into a swimming pool, and Tori makes no attempt to even catch her. Michael Cole, meanwhile, can’t stop talking about how much Sable has improved in the ring. Sable kicks Tori around in the ring and dances some more. Tori clotheslines her and it is ugly. Tori gets a sunset flip out of the corner while Sable recovers with a bridge pin for two. Tori botches the backslide reversal but Michael Cole thinks it’s great. Tori ducks under two roundhouse kicks and then accidentally takes out the ref with a crossbody. Sable and Tori embarrassingly botch a powerbomb and it looks horrendous. Tori tries to give Sable her own powerbomb, but Nicole Bass runs in and hits Tori with a press slam while the ref recovers from that vicious crossbody he just took. Nicole leaves and Sable finishes Tori with the Sablebomb for the win at 4:51. Thoughts: Absolute dud of a match. Neither women could pull a move without botching it in some manner. It’s enough to make Cameron look like an expert technician in the ring. Rating: 1/10 D-Generation X cuts a promo backstage about X-Pac’s upcoming match. Triple H does all the talking, but X-Pac is at least allowed to say “Shane, get ready for some pain.” Someone was paid to write that line for him. WWF European Championship Shane McMahon © with Test vs. X-Pac Test is working double duty tonight! And let’s not forget about The Mean Street Posse in the front row. The stooges blindside X-Pac during his entrance, but he quickly dispatches them before playing cat and mouse with Shane and Test. Yes, Test is running away from X-Pac. X-Pac hits a spinning heel kick on Shane and looks for an early bronco buster, but Test drags Shane out of the ring in time. X-Pac brawls with Shane at ringside and throws him back into the ring. Test gets involved and crotches X-Pac against the ring post. X-Pac is able to return to the ring just before the ten count. Shane hits a scoop slam and looks for the Corporate Elbow, but X-Pac dodges it. Test distracts the ref while Shane hits a low blow. He busts out a leather belt and starts whipping X-Pac with it, apparently leather belts are one of those legal weapons you know. Shane gets dumped over the ropes and X-Pac follows up with a plancha. The Mean Street Posse grab X-Pac, but he knocks them all back, but Test hits him with a clothesline out of nowhere. Shane hits a pointed elbow from the second rope, then goes up top but X-Pac dropkicks him and follows up with a superplex. X-Pac pins him but Test drags him out to ringside, which apparently doesn’t illicit a DQ. Test charges X-Pac but ends up eating the stairs. X-Pac then goes to town on Shane with the leather belt and hits the bronco buster in the corner. Test sneaks in the backdoor and clocks X-Pac with the European title belt while Shane distracts the referee. Why even bother with referee distractions at this point? You could probably bring a shotgun into the ring and the referee would allow it. Shane tries for the bronco buster, but X-Pac avoids it. Test comes in and botches something, then eats a heel kick. X-Pac gives Test the bronco buster while Triple H and Chyna come out to the ring. Chyna distracts the ref while Triple H hits X-Pac with a Pedigree and the audience can’t believe it. Trips drags Shane onto Pac for the win at 8:36. After the match, Triple H and Test double team X-Pac. The New Age Outlaws run inf or the save but Test and Triple H beat them down too. The lights go out and Kane’s music hits. Kane runs Trips, Test, Shane and Chyna off. Thoughts: So in the span of like half an hour, we saw Chyna turn face, then turn heel, Triple H turn heel and Kane turn face. Vince Russo, ladies and gentlemen. The match itself was probably the best on the card so far. Not amazing but it was enjoyable enough. The post-match shenanigans felt like it would have been better served on Raw or something. Rating: 6/10 Hell in a Cell Big Boss Man vs. The Undertaker with Paul Bearer Boss Man and Taker brawl in the corner. Taker hits a clothesline for two. Boss Man hits a swinging neckbreaker for two. Taker sits up but Boss Man keeps booting him down. Taker trips Boss Man up and beats on him. They go to ringside and take turns throwing each other into the cell. Boss Man pulls out some handcuffs and cuffs Taker to the cage. He pulls out a night stick and goes to town on Taker, Taker falls down and the handcuffs immediately break. They must have been made of glass or something. Taker torpedoes Boss Man into the cell wall and Taker is bleeding. Taker grabs a steel chair from under the ring and beats on Boss Man with it. Taker hits a flying clothesline in the ring. He goes up for Old School, but Boss Man crotches him over the ropes and knocks him into the cell. Taker returns to the ring and they slug it out. Taker resorts to a low blow, because how else could the Dead Man ever hope to defeat a man the calibre of The Big Boss Man? Taker looks for a Tombstone Piledriver, but Boss Man slips out and shoves Taker. Taker comes back and hits a Tombstone Piledriver anyway, getting the win at 9:46. After the match, The Brood lower from the rafters and pass a noose through the top of the cell. Undertaker puts it on Big Boss Man AND HANGS HIM IN FRONT OF EVERYONE. Obviously it’s a gimmicked noose that’s probably just hooked on Boss Man’s vest or something, but could you imagine being a kid in the front row and seeing that? Boss Man sold it like he was literally dying. What the fuck. Thoughts: Overall, awful match. One of – if not – THE worst Hell in a Cell match. It was boring as shit and the fans were completely dead. Must have been a huge letdown for the live crowd considering the last two Cell matches were Undertaker vs. Foley and Undertaker vs. HBK, both huge matches. This was just a boring fight that went nowhere and seemed like neither of them overly cared. I feel like it would have been better served as a cage match or something but it still probably would have been bad. Rating: 2/10 Good Ol’ JR comes out and replaces Michael Cole on play-by-play for the main event. YOU MEAN JR WAS IN THE BUILDING THE ENTIRE TIME?? Why the hell was Cole calling this event all night? WWF Championship No Disqualifications The Rock © vs. Stone Cold Steve Austin Vince comes out wearing a plain black shirt. Why even say that you have a referee shirt when you clearly don’t have one? Why write that line? Shawn Michaels shows up to a crazy big pop from the crowd. He has a legit referee with him. He gets on the mic and pulls some jargon out of his ass that basically says that HBK is apparently the only man that can appoint a referee in a Wrestlemania match. He bars all of The Corporation from ringside (except Vinnie Mac, so you know there’ll be a Vince run-in) and he decides to make Mike Chioda the ref. Not Mick Foley? The Rock comes out to a “Rocky sucks” chant. He’s got some decent heat on him. The crowd goes berserk when the Glass Shatters. Man, no one today compares to how over Austin was in his prime. The only man that remotely comes close to these kinds of reactions today is Daniel Bryan, and even then, not quite. And now we’re headed for an incredibly cold Wrestlemania main event where no one’s going to give a shit. Austin and Rock immediately slug it out. Rock dumps Austin to ringside and chokes him with his shirt. Austin fights back in the ring and side steps Rock over the top. They brawl in the crowd for a bit, and there really doesn’t seem to be much security keeping the crowd from mobbing them. Austin axe handles Rock back into the ringside area, then dumps back into the crowd on the other side of the arena. Rock comes back and clotheslines Austin back over the barricade. They brawl up the aisle and Rock chokes Austin with some AV cables. Austin whips Rock into the barricades and looks for a piledriver, but Rock back drops Austin. His leg seems to hit one of the stage lights awkwardly. Austin throws Rock into a camera boom, but Rock comes back and they seem to awkwardly clothesline each other and fall into a botchy mess. Austin whips Rock into the giant metal Wrestlemania logo. Austin tries for a suplex on the aisle, but Rock blocks it and suplexes Austin instead. They brawl over to the announce area. Rock grabs a bottle of water and spits it in Austin’s face, Austin comes back and drops Rock over the barricade and puts him over the Spanish announce table. He drops a pointed elbow from the barricade, but the table doesn’t break. He tries it a second time and SUCCESS, the table crumbles. Those poor Spanish announcers. They return to the ring and Rock recovers pretty quickly for a table bump. He snaps Austin’s left leg over the ring post a few times. Rock Bottom in the middle of the ring but Austin kicks out right before three! The Rock Bottom kind of came at an awkward time, pretty sure it’s the first time anyone kicked out of it as well. This maybe should have been a bigger deal. Rock retrieves a chair from ringside, but Austin snatches it and accidentally knocks out Chioda with it. Rock hits a swinging neckbreaker and grabs the chair again. Austin tries for a Stone Cold Stunner but Rock counters and hits a back elbow. Rock goes to town on Austin’s bad leg with the chair. He floors Austin with a headshot for a near fall as a replacement referee runs in. Rock gets a chin lock for a fair while. Austin eventually comes back but takes a Samoan drop for two. Rock gets shitty and gives Tim White a Rock Bottom. Austin nails Rock with a Stunner and Hebner comes down as referee #3. It only gets two and it’s a big shock moment because someone just kicked out of the Stone Cold Stunner. Vinnie Mac comes out to ringside while Austin grabs another chair. He gives Vince the bird. Rock hits a low blow and Vince hits the ring and knocks down Hebner. “HBK” chants as Vince and Rock put the boots to Austin. Mankind comes out to the ring and attacks Vince. Austin gets a roll up and Foley now appears to be the referee, it’s a two count. Austin hits the Lou Thesz Press and the pointed elbow. Rock comes back with a clothesline and a second Rock Bottom. Instead of just pinning Austin, he tres for the Corporate Elbow but misses. Stunner, counter, Rock Bottom, counter, Stunner, 1-2-3 at 16:55. After the match, Austin celebrates with some brewskis and shares a beer with Earl Hebner. He gives Vince a Stunner to finish the night. Thoughts: This match was crazily overbooked to high hell and back, but it was damn good at the same time. This is how you do a brawl while keeping it interesting. Sometimes the mess of ref bumps and run-in shenanigans can work, and this is a good example of that. The crowd was white hot for Stone Cold and The Rock was the perfect foil.

Rating: 8/10

I think this Wrestlemania seems to get a bit of a free pass from a lot of fans because it was the Attitude Era and everyone likes to jizz all over the Attitude Era. It was a packed show, but packed in a bad way. Most of the undercard felt rushed and a lot of the matches just kind of stunk. The Women’s title match and the Hell in a Cell were abysmal, while the Hardcore, IC and Tag Title matches weren’t much better. Kane and Triple H was watchable, but not at all memorable. The only standouts were really the European title match and the main event. Really though, people will remember this for Austin vs. Rock part I, and not much else. Even a great main event can’t salvage another otherwise dismal show.

Overall Rating: 3/10 Quick Results Hardcore Holly def. Al Snow and Billy Gunn via pinfall for the WWF Hardcore Championship Owen Hart & Jeff Jarrett def. D’Lo Brown & Test via pinfall for the WWF Tag Team Championship Butterbean def. Bart Gunn via KO Mankind def. Big Show via DQ Road Dogg def. Goldust, Ken Shamrock & Val Venis via pinfall for the WWF Intercontinental Championship Kane def. Triple H via DQ Sable def. Tori via pinfall to retain the WWF Women’s Championship Shane McMahon def. X-Pac via pinfall to retain the WWF European Championship The Undertaker def. Big Boss Man via pinfall Stone Cold Steve Austin def. The Rock via pinfall for the WWF Championship

[thelowblow]

WWE Fastlane 2015

Memphis, TN Announcers: Michael Cole; JBL; Jerry Lawler Champions WWE World Heavyweight Champion: Brock Lesnar WWE Intercontinental Champion: Bad News Barrett WWE United States Champion: Rusev WWE Tag Team Champions: The Usos WWE Diva's Champion: Nikki Bella Six-Man Tag Team Match The Job Squad 2.0 vs. Seth Rollins, Kane & Big Show with J&J Security Ziggler and Ryback both get decent pops, but Erick Rowan just gets nothing. Seriously, he's dead in the water at the moment and creative have made no efforts to give us a reason to care about him.  Show and Kane get little ovation, but Rollins gets a reasonable enough heel pop. I really think Kane should just get a new entrance theme and drop the fire stuff. It's hard to think of him as the same 'Fire Still Burns' Kane while he's wearing business slacks and black shoes. Rollins and Ziggler start things off. Ziggler tries for a leap frog, Rollins tries to counter with a powerbomb but Ziggler reverses into a sunset flip. Rollins kicks out, dodges a super kick and bails from the ring for a moment. Ziggler hits a dropkick and tags in Rowan. Rollins tries a roundhouse kick but Rowan counters with a pumphandle backbreaker for two.  Kane gets the tag. Rowan hits him with a scoop slam and a leg drop for two. He hits with a back elbow from the second rope for two. Kane tags out to Big Show. Show comes in and dumps Rowan to ringside. Rowan tries a spin kick but misses and hits the ring post, then starts selling the leg. J&J get a few cheap shots in while the ref isn't watching. Show works the leg in the ring with elbow drops while the crowd duels "we want Ziggler" and "feed me more" chants. Show and Kane work the leg a fair while in the ring.  Rollins gets tagged in and he applies a leg bar. You can pretty clearly hear Rollins calling the spots here. Rowan powers out and Rollins hits the overhead neckbreaker from the second rope for two.  Big Show gets the tag and locks Rowan into the HAAS OF PAIN! The hold seems to be a little too effective, so Big Show demonstrates his ring psychology and lets go of the submission, wanting to lull Rowan into a false sense of security, clearly. Show tries for a Chokeslam but Rowan counters with a DDT.  Rollins gets the tag and he dropkicks Ziggler off the apron. Rowan hits Rollins with a spin kick - with the bad leg of course. Hot tag to Ryback who comes in all fired up. Lou Thesz Press on Rollins. He misses the splash and Rollins looks for the Curb Stomp, but Ryback counters with a powerbomb. Kane takes the Meathook Clothesline. Ryback looks for Shell Shocked on Rolins, but lets him go so he can deal with J&J on the apron who are clearly his biggest threat. Rollins gets two off of a super kick. Rollins misses a top rope nothing. He goes for the second rope neckbreaker again but this time Ryback catches him in Shell Shocked - legit impressive spot by both guys there. Big Show comes in with a splash before Ryback can go for the cover. Meanwhile, Ziggler climbs back onto the apron like he's a mad man scaling Everest. Ziggler gets the hot tag while Kane gets the cold tag. He DDTs Kane, dropkicks Show. Kane goes for a sidewalk slam but Ziggler spins out of it and connects with a super kick. Rollins walks into a Fameasser. Ziggler hits Kane with some mounted punches in the corner, but Big Show comes along and deflates the crowd some more by KO punching Ziggler. Kane follows up with a Chokeslam for the three at 13:01. After the match, the heels continue to beatdown the babyfaces like the jobbers that they are until Orton's music hits. Orton runs out in full wrestling gear and clears the ring. J&J and Kane all take RKOs but Big Show manages to rescue Rollins. Rollins then runs away in a panic. The Skinny: The match was okay. I'm generally not a big fan of six man tags unless Teddy Long is booking it on SmackDown, and this match was really no exception. The heels controlled most of the match, it was a little too slow for what it was as well and the fans just deflated. Like I said, Erick Rowan is dead in the water, and Luke Harper isn't much better. I still can't comprehend why they split The Wyatt Family up so early. I'd understand if they'd had a plan for Rowan and Harper as individual stars, but they clearly don't have a plan. Rowan needs a new gimmick or a new image or something. I also enjoyed how the most over babyface did the job to one of the most stale acts in WWE right now. I think the correct ending would have been Rollins pinning Rowan to be honest. I know they have to keep Rollins strong, but should it really be at the expense of three guys who desperately need some kind of momentum to happen for them? Also, Kane and Big Show's positions bug me. They could be given to younger talent, or guys from NXT even. Instead you have two forty-something-year-olds who are over a decade past their primes defeating talented young stars each week. It is really, really bad. The Orton bit was good though and it woke the crowd back up again. Orton looks a bit like he's lost a bit of muscle tone, but I'm really in no place to be commenting on anyone's physical condition. He hit the RKOs well and looked pumped, and that moment was enough to amp the crowd up. Match Rating: 5/10 Dusty Rhodes and Goldust have a heart-to-heart talk backstage. It's actually a decent promo. Dusty doesn't want Goldust and Stardust to hurt each other, but Goldust insists that he's going to beat the hell out of Stardust and 'bring Cody home'. Goldust vs. Stardust Stardust is wearing silver, black and blue tonight and no shirt. It's a pretty good look if I do say so. Lock up in the corner and Stardust shoves his way out. He shoves Goldy a bit too much and gets slapped for it. The crowd antagonizes Stardust with "Cody" chants and he runs with it pretty well. Sloppy exchange of hip tosses and arm drags. Stardust runs into an inverted atomic drop. Goldust tries a shoulder breaker, reverses it but Goldust reverses the reversal and tries for the Curtain Call, but Cody bails to ringside. Stardust returns to the ring and looks for a bulldog, but Goldust counters with a backbreaker before clotheslining Stardust over the ropes. They brawl in the corner of the ring for a bit and Goldust looks for the Golden Globes but Star bails to the apron. He tries for a slingshot sunset flip but just lands on his ass. Goldust leaps off the second rope but eats a boot and sells it like a retarded tree falling down. Stardust stomps Goldy down and they brawl around the ring for a bit. He locks him into a grapevine Goldy eventually struggles out but he takes a front suplex for two. Stardust does a snazzy cartwheel, which is thus far the most impressive move of the match. He whips Goldy hard into the corner a few times and then gets him into a waist lock, because the match was becoming a bit too tiring. Goldust fights out and goes for a springboard elbow but misses.  Stardust looks for the Cross Rhodes but Goldust counters with a snapmare and a crucifix cradle for an awkward three count at 8:55. After the match, Stardust refuses a handshake and storms off. The Skinny: That ending was awkward, the announcers brought it up too, so I'm not sure if that means it's going to play a part in the storyline or if there was a bit of a miscommunication between the talent and the ref. In any case, the match was something of a let down. It never really found its groove, and despite the fact that Cody Rhodes is great and Goldust is as good as he's ever been, they still delivered a mostly boring match with nothing exciting or memorable to report on. Goldust didn't exactly give Stardust a beating like he had suggested, but eh. I'm expecting that this isn't the end and hopefully we see one decent match from this feud still to come. Match Rating: 2/10 The announcers give us a recap of the epic Seth Rollins vs. Jon Stewart feud we've seen this past week. Wouldn't it be great if Jon Stewart did a run-in at Wrestlemania? Backstage Stardust attacks Goldust in front of Dusty and beats him down. He cuts a pretty epic promo on Dusty then leaves. You know what, Stardust is a shithouse gimmick but Cody has absolutely fucking run with it. He's doing some of the best character work in the WWE right now, second MAYBE only to Bray Wyatt. MAYBE. Because that match I just watched? That sucked. But the promo work is keeping me interested. WWE Tag Team Championship The Usos (c) with Naomi vs. Kidd Cesaro with Natalya "Like I'm going to take advice from a former Funkadactyl." Tyson Kidd is easily one of my favourite characters on the roster at the moment. I know Kidd and Cesaro are probably meant to be heels right now, but I find it really difficult to not like them. Jey and Kidd start things off with some quick wrestling. Jey hits a forearm and a scoop slam. Backbreaker axe handle combination as Jimmy gets the tag. Jimmy hits a corkscrew moonsault for two.  Cesaro gets the tag. He hits a shoulder block and works the leg. Kidd gets tagged in and he snaps the leg over the middle rope and works the leg some more. Cesaro is tagged back in with a knee drop over the leg from the second rope. He does a one-legged big swing and then locks him into a half Boston Crab. Kidd tags in and hits a slingshot leg drop for a near fall.  Tyson Kidd locks Jimmy into an Indian Death Lock but he gets free of it and tags Jey. Cesaro gets the tag as well. Jey hits a super kick and a big Samoan drop. Jey hits an enziguiri and the butt splash in the corner for two. Jey goes up top but Cesaro crotches him and tags in Kidd. Cesaro hits the apron superplex and Kidd follows up with a springboard elbow drop for a near fall. He looks for the Sharpshooter, but Jey kicks him off. Tyson hits the dropsault and lands on the apron. He comes in with a sunset flip but Jimmy gets a blind tag. They hit a flapjack Samoan drop combination for two. Cesaro breaks up the pin and tries to save Kidd. Jey hits Cesaro with a plancha to ringside. Jimmy goes to ringside and hits Kidd with a Samoan drop into the barricade. Jimmy drags Kidd back into the ring and goes for a splash from the top rope but Kidd counters with a small package for two. Kidd gets a Sharpshooter on Jimmy and it looks like he's about to tap but Jey comes in with a super kick for the save. Cesaro joins them and brawls with Jey, the two of them tumble to ringside. Kidd hits Jimmy with a spinning fisherman neckbreaker for the win at 9:33. The Skinny: New tag champs! I was pleasantly surprised as I figured The Usos were a safe bet to keep the belts on for a few more months. I'm not complaining, as good as The Usos are, it's also good to have a new fresh team in the spotlight. Further to that, Cesaro and Tyson Kidd have definitely been shafted by the WWE in the past, so it's awesome to see them actually get a chance with some gold. They deserve it. The match itself was pretty good as well but it could have used a few more minutes to make the ending a bit more exciting. Match Rating: 6/10 It's time for the epic face off between Triple H and Sting. It's pretty straight forward really. Trips comes out sporting his cool guy leather jacket and jeans. Sting also comes out but is a man of few (zero) words. Trips talks about how WCW was a sinking ship and how he was one of the guys that made the ship sink... sure. Triple H offers Sting an ultimatum to basically leave and Triple H will keep his legacy alive through merchandise and the WWE network and possibly a spot in the Hall of Fame some day. Sting doesn't immediately respond, so Triple H decides its rumble time. They slug it out and Trips seems to get the better of it. He goes to ringside and grabs a sledgehammer, but when he returns Sting pulls a baseball out of his ass and puts it to Triple H's throat like it's a sword or a gun or something. Triple H calmly drops the sledgehammer at ringside, and it bounces about five feet in the air multiple times. Something tells me that sledgehammer is made of rubber or something? Sting points the bat at the Wrestlemania sign then goes to leave. Trips tries to cheapshot him but he takes a baseball bat to the gut and the Scorpion Death Drop. The Skinny: Predictable segment that went about exactly how you'd imagine it, although I was half expecting some more Authority shenanigans with Rollins or Kane & Show to help Triple H. The challenge reminded me somewhat of Triple H and Taker's challenge from a few Wrestlemanias ago where they stayed silent and just used the Wrestlemania sign for the challenge. Although it wasn't quite like that since Triple H talked a bit much.  Whether you're excited or not, Triple H vs. Sting is set in stone now. It's a great paper match, but it'll probably turn out fairly shit. WWE Diva's Championship Nikki Bella (c) with Brie Bella vs. Paige Paige and Nikki tumble around the ring for a bit. Nikki trips Paige up on the apron and throws her into the barricade. Chin lock in the ring to slow down the breakneck speed of this iron man match. Paige fights out of it and Nikki hits an Alabama Slammer for two. Paige comes back with some short arm clotheslines and a running dropkick for a near fall.  Paige looks for the Rampaige but Nikki counters with a facebuster. Paige bounces off the ropes and hits a side kick for two. They fight each other up on the second rope, and Nikki hits a sunset flip powerbomb for a near fall. It looks like Paige's top has come undone a bit. Paige looks for the PTO but Nikki crawls to the ropes before she can fully lock it in. Nikki slams Paige's head into the turnbuckle pad and rolls Nikki up using the tights for the win at 5:34. The Skinny: Very anticlimactic ending. No finishers, no believable near falls. Just some brawling, a powerbomb and a roll up. Felt very TV match to me. Maybe they called an audible to end the match early based on Paige's wardrobe malfunction, but I'm thinking probably not. I don't care about the diva's division and I - or anyone watching for that matter - has no reason to. If creative don't give a shit, why should I? The crowd sure as hell didn't give any amount of a shit. Match Rating: 2/10 WWE Intercontinental Championship Bad News Barrett (c) vs. Dean Ambrose Early brawling from BNB. Ambrose comes back with a crossbody and mounted punches sending BNB running to ringside. He returns to the ring and Ambrose hits a shoulder block. He goes up to the second rope but gets booted to ringside. Barrett applies a rear chin lock in the ring to slow this match down.  Ambrose fights out but gets booted through the ropes. BNB rams Ambrose into the apron. They return to the ring and Ambrose bounces back with a tornado DDT. Ambrose rallies with some knockdowns and a bulldog. BNB looks for a Boss Man Slam but Ambrose rolls him up for two. Ambrose hits a dropkick and hits an elbow drop for two. He looks for Dirty Deeds but Barrett counters and tries for Wasteland. Ambrose slips out and looks for the rebound clothesline but he runs right back into the Wasteland for a near fall. BNB calls for the Bull Hammer. Ambrose ducks and schoolboys BNB for two. He hits an absolutely stiff rebound clothesline and tries for Dirty Deeds again, but Barrett powers out of it and bails from the ring. He grabs his belt and goes to leave but Ambrose intercepts him with a suicide dive. BNB tries to escape into the crowd like a little bitch, but Ambrose drags him back in then proceeds to pummel him in the corner of the ring against the ropes non-stop until the referee calls for the bell, giving BNB the DQ win at 7:58. Ambrose hits a post-match Dirty Deeds, then he decides to walk off with Barrett's Intercontinental Championship. The Skinny: Shitty, shitty, shitty ending. Seriously. This puts nobody over. If they feel like they're in a bind where neither guy can stand to take a clean loss (which they couldn't), then they shouldn't be fucking booking themselves into these positions in the first place. Jesus Christ, is it too much to ask to have some forethought? Barrett came out of this looking like an absolute coward, which doesn't match his character IMO, and Ambrose came out of this looking like an idiot again. There's a very big difference between a crazy person and a complete moron, but WWE writers don't seem to be aware of this.  The IC title has never meant so little. Seriously, I think the Hardcore Championship was more prestigious than the IC title currently is. It almost seems like a curse to have the IC title as you're doomed to job to the likes of R-Truth and Sin Cara for no reason and be handed shitty, god awful endings. Also, by my count this marks Dean Ambrose's eighth pay-per-view loss since breaking up with The Shield. Seriously, the guy has not won a single pay-per-view match since The Shield broke up. It says a lot about the guy's character and performances that he's still as over as he is with the fans. By all accounts he should be in a tag team with Adam Rose and The Bunny on Superstars by now. Match Rating: 3/10 The druids come out to the ring and The Undertaker's theme plays. The announcers do an awful job of pretending like it's actually The Undertaker coming out. The druids push a casket to the ring and you instantly know it's Bray Wyatt (if you didn't already). Bray cuts one of his better promos in recent weeks, it's much more direct and concise. It looks like Bray Wyatt vs. Undertaker is actually a thing that's going to happen now. I wonder if had WWE known about The Undertaker's Mania availability ahead of time if they would have booked Taker vs. Sting instead. WWE United States Championship Rusev (c) with Lana vs. John Cena Rusev gets a proper heel response and Cena get's his usual mixed reaction. The crowd seems to wake up a little bit. Rusev starts off with some low kicks. Cena opens up with a big right hand. Rusev ducks a clothesline and hits a spinning heel kick for two. He hits an avalanche in the corner for two. Cena goes out to the apron and gets knocked off. Cena returns to the ring with a dropkick. Rusev quickly recovers and hits a dropkick of his own for two. Rusev catches Cena with a fall away slam for two. He gets some kind of shoulder clutch locked in. Cena powers out and hits a vertical suplex. He goes for the AA but Rusev counters with a DDT. He hits three avalanches in the corner for a near fall as the crowd starts up a "USA" chant. Cena rallies with the shoulder blocks and spinning back drop into the Five Knuckle Shuffle. He goes for the AA but Rusev slips out and hits the super kick for two. Cena plays possum and goes for the STF but Ruesv avoids it then hits a spinning side slam for a near fall. Cena recovers and hits a tornado DDT from the second rope for a near fall. Cena goes for the AA but Rusev counters for a third time. He goes for another slam but Cena counters into a Crossface which Cole mistakes for the STF. Cut the guy some slack, he hasn't called that many John Cena matches before. Rusev gets free and hits an Alabama Slammer, taking some tips from Nikki Bella's match earlier. Rusev tells himself to crush, much in the same way that Hulk would instruct himself to smash. Cena counters the back stomp into the STF but Rusev gets a rope break. Another AA attempt but Rusev once again counters. He goes for a jumping super kick but Cena dodges it and hits the AA for a near fall.  Cena goes up top for the leg drop but Rusev counters with a powerbomb and gets the Accolade locked in  Cena tries to struggle out of it. He gets back to his feet. Lana enters the ring with the US title and the ref is distracted. Rusev hits Cena with a low blow and another super kick before applying the Accolade again. Lana leaves the ring and Cena passes out in the submission hold giving Rusev the win at 18:42. After the match there's an excellent shot of Rusev and Lana holding the US title over a passed out Cena while the Russian flag hangs in the background. The Skinny: The match wasn't as good as I had hoped. They just didn't quite fall into a comfortable flow. The match was a bit too even for me, I guess I would have liked a bit more psychology perhaps. I don't know, something about the match just didn't quite click for me. But the ending was great. Yes, I would have been happier to see Rusev defeat Cena without the cheating. I believe this is the first time we've actually seen Lana get involved in a match and cause Rusev to cheat to win. Still, there was a very real threat that this would end in DQ or some other lame finish, so this was a good ending in that regard. It's not often that Cena loses via submission, even though he didn't tap, this still made Rusev look strong. It reminds me of when Hogan passed out to Brock Lesnar's bear hug back in 2002 and everyone had a sook that Hogan wouldn't job properly. But seriously, the biggest star in wrestling today passed out to Rusev's camel clutch. That is putting Rusev over. Cena's done the job today. Now what we have to worry about is how desperate Vince is going to be to have Cena get his heat back at Mania. The right thing IMO is to have Rusev get a dominant victory over Cena at Mania. But I feel like that's not what will happen. Match Rating: 6/10 #1 Contenders Match for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship Daniel Bryan vs. Roman Reigns I would say between Reigns and Bryan, Bryan gets the much bigger face pop, but Reigns doesn't exactly get booed. It's nothing at all like the Rumble. I think WWE is probably thankful to be in one of the more markier towns. Duelling "Daniel Bryan" and "Roman Reigns" chants in the audience. Lock up and release. Bryan gets a side headlock. Reigns reverses with his own headlock. Bryan gets a roll up for two. He tries to apply a Mexican Surfboard, but Roman Reigns demonstrates his massive raw leg power and hurls Bryan back. This is a man that doesn't skip leg day. Bryan kicks Reigns in the thigh and they brawl in the corner. Bryan does his top rope back flip and runs into a tilt-a-whirl slam. They go ringside and brawl around for a bit. They return and Bryan focuses the leg with hard kicks. He gets an Indian Death Lock for a moment, but Reigns comes back with some of the stiffest punches you'll see this side of a Brock Lesnar match. Bryan slips out of a scoop slam but stumbles into a Samoan drop. Reigns hits a flying clothesline and follows up with another clothesline that Bryan sells like a freight train. Reigns hits a series of awkward cradle suplexes before hitting the apron dropkick. He readies the Superman Punch but Bryan counters with a stiff kick to the mid-section. Reigns goes down and Cole reminds us of Reigns' hernia surgery a few months back. Bryan focuses on the mid-section with kicks, knees and dropkicks. Bryan tries a Frankensteiner from the top rope but Reigns counters it with a huge powerbomb for a near fall. Reigns props Bryan on the top rope for a superplex, but he slips out and hits a back superplex. He gets him in the Yes Lock but Reigns gets a rope break and bails to ringside. Bryan follows up with two suicide dives. He tries for a third, but Reigns catches him with a belly-to-belly suplex. Reigns charges at Bryan but he ends up running into the ring stairs. Both men get in right before ten, the ref makes sure it's a very long ten count for Roman. Bryan goes up top but jumps into a Superman Punch.  OOOOAH!!! Roman Reigns channels Al Pacino from Scent of a Woman as he tries for a Spear, but Bryan counters with a small package for a near fall. Bryan hits the Running Knee but Reigns kicks out at two! "This is awesome" chants as the audience wakes up again. Reigns catches Bryan mid-kick and grabs him by the throat, but Bryan floats over and locks him in the Yes Lock. Reigns breaks out of the hold and hits more brutal right hands. Bryan comes back with a triangle choke, but Reigns turns it into a sitout powerbomb. They both get back up and Bryan gets the advantage with kicks. He looks for the Running Knee again, but Reigns counters with the Spear for the win at 20:10.  After the match, Bryan begrudgingly shakes Reigns' hand and tells him that he better kick Lesnar's ass. The Skinny: Easily, EASILY, Roman Reigns' best match. I hope he and Vince thanked Bryan afterwards because Bryan carried the shit out of this match and bumped like a mad man to make Roman look like a beast. This is only Roman's second PPV singles match, so far he's had Randy Orton and Daniel Bryan to make him look good. But next month he has Brock Lesnar - a man who is stiff as shit and not going to walk him through the match. I fear for Wrestlemania's main event as I'm still not confident enough in Reigns to be able to carry a match without a ring general to guide him through it. We may very well be looking at Goldberg vs. Lesnar Part II. The ending was unfortunate as Vince isn't showing signs of backing down this time. Roman Reigns is his guy whether the paying customers like it or not. I wouldn't be so worried if Reigns put on performances like this every month - but he won't. Match Rating: 8/10 The Verdict: I used to call shows like this a "three hour Raw", but since Raw is three hours now, I'm going to call it Sunday Night Raw. Most of the matches were pretty average, there were a fair few non-match segments, and most of the show was all about building to the next PPV. But that's been the job of every February PPV ever. Orton's return was cool, the tag title change was unexpected, Sting and Triple H's face off was simple but effective, Bray Wyatt's promo was great and the main event delivered ring-work wise. Unfortunately the rest of the show was both worked less than great and booked pretty poorly. For what is essentially a free PPV, I guess it's worth checking out but more to skim through rather than actually dedicate three hours of your day to it. Overall Rating: 4/10

[thelowblow]

WWE Fastlane Predictions

Goldust vs. Stardust I think this is a feud that'll stretch towards Wrestlemania. Goldust wins at Fastlane, Stardust goes over at Wrestlemania, which will probably be the match that actually counts. Hopefully he drops the Stardust gimmick and we get Cody Rhodes back. Stardust is fine as a character alongside Goldust, but I'm not sure about how interested I would be in a solo Stardust. Goldust to win WWE Tag Team Championship: The Usos (c) vs. Tyson Kidd & Cesaro The Usos retain, I think. I feel like they gradually want to build up The Ascension for a tag title feud, unless they're ready to give Kidd and Cesaro a solid push as well, I think they'll keep the straps on The Usos and keep them strong for The Ascension. The Usos to retain WWE Intercontinental Championship: Bad News Barrett (c) vs. Dean Ambrose Both guys really need a strong win. If BNB loses, where does he go? If Dean loses, where does he go? I think Dean has more outs and more opportunities to bounce back from a loss here than BNB, but at the same time I feel like WWE are trying to cool Dean off a bit and keep him hovering around that mid/uppercard area, in which case the IC title is a good fit for him. But my gut is still telling me that BNB retains. BNB to retain WWE Diva's Championship: Nikki (c) vs. Paige I'm enjoying Nikki as a Diva's Champ, she works well. Paige will be a good opponent for her, but I'm thinking they'll keep the strap on Nikki for a while, at least until they can get a solid babyface diva ready for the belt. Whether that's a returning AJ Lee or Charlotte from NXT or even a push for Nattie, I'm not sure. But I don't see Nikki losing here. Nikki to retain WWE United States Championship: Rusev (c) vs. John Cena The US title is on the line, and this is a feud that probably stays hot up until Wrestlemania at least. There's a couple of possibilities. Cena could win the title, breaking Rusev's undefeated streak but thereby priming Rusev for a huge title win in his rematch at Mania. Or Rusev could straight up win this match clean, and then Cena gets his "heat" back at Mania. Most likely my money is on a dirty finish i.e. DQ or Count Out etc. Rusev retains and no one actually wins. That sets up a rematch at Mania. Rusev to retain #1 Contenders Match: Daniel Bryan vs. Roman Reigns I really don't know which way they'll go here. It seems insane that they would have Reigns cleanly go over Bryan after the Royal Rumble debacle unless they want to turn him heel. At the same time, Vince has an undeniable boner for Roman Reigns and they want to make him look strong, so I'm having a hard time picturing Bryan going over clean. It'll be gross but I think we get a dirty finish, possibly with interference from Lesnar or Rollins. I'm going to say that Reigns wins after outside interference, giving Bryan an excuse for losing and a reason to possibly be slotted into the Mania main event if needs be.  Reigns wins The Triple H/Sting Confrontation It'll be half an hour of them prancing around a ring before eventually agreeing to face each other at Wrestlemania. There'll probably be some Authority shenanigans with a Kane run-in or something.

[thelowblow]

AJ Styles retire? Shoddy ring work? Accidents happen, one of the best workers out there shouldn't leave the business because of it. Christ.

"Why hasn’t someone forced AJ Styles to stop using the Styles Clash, or better yet retire? The man repeatedly injures his peers with his dangerous moves and shoddy in ring work. If he doesn’t get stopped, we’ll see a lot more injuries like the ones Yoshi Tatsu has, or worse"

[thelowblow]

[Retro Review] WWE Judgment Day 2002

Nashville, TN Approx 14,500 in attendance Announce Team: Jim Ross & Jerry Lawler Champions: WWE Undisputed Champion: Hulk Hogan WWE Intercontinental Champion: Eddie Guerrero WWE European Champion: William Regal WWE Cruiserweight Champion: The Hurricane WWE Hardcore Champion: Steven Richards WWE Women's Champion: Trish Stratus WWE Tag Team Champions: Billy & Chuck So I'm skipping the Insurrextion review. The UK PPVs were usually pretty much glorified house shows. The major feuds going into Judgment Day were between Hogan and Undertaker, following Taker beating Austin to become the number one contender at Backlash. Jericho and Triple H are also thrown into a Hell in a Cell match, I assume linked back to their feud over the title at Wrestlemania.  Angle and Edge are also continuing their feud, as are Eddie Guerrero and RVD. Austin is still floating around doing nothing important. This is also the first WWE pay-per-view under the WWE banner following the brand name. WWE Intercontinental Championship Eddie Guerrero (c) vs. Rob Van Dam Eddie comes out first, I'm not a fan of champions coming to the ring first. There are also loud "RVD" chants before RVD even comes out. They start things off with a shoving contest and RVD gets an early powerslam for a near fall. Eddie flees from the ring and throws a tantrum at ringside before returning to the ring. RVD gets a knock down and a split legged moonsault and a spinning leg drop for two. He works the back following a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker, then locks in a beautiful Mexican Surfboard, something of a throwback to both their previous match and RVD's ECW days. Eddie gets some brief offense in, but RVD comes back with shoulder blocks to the back and a monkey flip. He hits a cool looking electric chair throw over the top rope followed by Rolling Thunder for a near fall. Eddie counters a suplex with a roll up for two. RVD goes up top but he gets crotched. Eddie then hits a powerbomb for two.  Eddie feels froggy and he goes up top but misses the Frog Splash. RVD goes up top and he misses the Five Star Frog Splash. Both men get up at the same time and go through a neat sequence of leap frogs and rope running ending with a crossbody on Eddie for two. RVD counters a European uppercut into a backslide for two. Eddie counters a spin kick into a backslide of his own but he gets the feet on the middle rope for the three count at 10:17. Really tight match with legit ring psychology and storytelling. I love how this contrasts to their Backlash match where Eddie had a relatively dominant win over RVD. This match played out as if RVD had done his homework and knew how to dismantle Eddie's offense this time. It's a match that made sense, and it's a rare thing to see ring psychology in an RVD match. Add that to the fact that RVD was crazy over as a babyface and Eddie had mad heat as a heel at this point, it was an excellent opener. Rating: 8/10 Reverend D-Von, "DEACON" Batista and Stacy Keibler share a prayer with Vinnie Mac who spends most of the time oggling Stacy. Can't really blame him. D-Von assures Vince that Bubba won't be there, otherwise there'll be hell to pay. Get the 'F' Out. Remember those ads??? If you were born in the last decade, you probably don't. WWE Women's Championship Trish Stratus (c) vs. Stacy Keibler with Reverend D-Von and Batista That's right, this was how Batista got his start in WWE. He was D-Von Dudley's lackey. Yes, D-Von Dudley.  Both the girls get a pop from the crowd. D-Von and Batista get their own entrance and get no response from the live audience. Bubba of course shows up to back Trish in her corner. D-Von looks a bit miffed. "Though shalt not lie," says Bubba. I can't remember the story here. Stacy gets a spin kick and a back body drop on Trish for two. Trish slips up Stacy in a Boston Crab. She reverses it into a pin for two. Trish gets a roll up for two. Trish hits a neckbreaker and a Chick Kick that sends Stacy to ringside. Bubba laughs in her face and Stacy slaps the taste out of his mouth. We're about to have an epic confrontation between Bubba and Stacy so heated that the referee has to get involved. Meanwhile Batista sneaks into the ring and scoop slams Trish. Stacy returns to the ring and pins her for two. Batista grabs Trish from the apron but Stacy accidentally clotheslines Batista. Trish comes back with a sloppy looking bulldog for the three count at 2:54. After the match, Bubba and D-Von have their big confrontation. Batista and D-Von overpower Bubba and they flapjack him through a table. I'm not sure that many people care. The match was about as good as a Stacy Keibler match gets. Trish's work with Jazz didn't quite prepare her to carry Stacy, but at the very least this was an overbooked match that wasn't even three minutes long, so it wasn't too abysmal. I don't know why the Dudley storyline was injected into the diva feud, or even why the Dudley thing had to happen. Bubba was on Raw and D-Von was on SmackDown at this point, so there's not going to be any big conclusion to the feud. In retrospect I assume this happened just to get D-Von over as a heel, not that they accomplished much there. Rating: 3/10 Vince pays Ric Flair and Arn Anderson a visit. Flair completes his heel turn by hugging Vince McMahon. The Hardy Boyz vs. Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman Heyman is decked out in his finest track suit for this match. Lesnar catches Jeff's plancha and Matt follows up with a baseball slide. The Hardyz chase Heyman into the corner of the ring. Lesnar runs in and decks both Hardyz down. Jeff tries a second rope something but Lesnar catches him with a belly-to-belly suplex. Lesnar tries for snake eyes but Jeff slips out and shoves him in the corner, allowing him to tag Matt in. Matt counters a press slam into a dropkick. Lesnar hits a big powerslam amidst "Goldberg" chants. Lesnar gets a back body drop and a backbreaker. Matt fights back with a tornado DDT. Jeff gets a hot tag and hits the Whisper in the Wind and a jawbreaker. Double leg drop from The Hardyz. Poetry in Motion on Brock and he gets dumped to ringside. They finally get their hands on Heyman and give him Poetry in Motion. Lesnar drags Matt out and beats on him. Jeff hits Lesnar with a crossbody in the ring but Lesnar catches him, then sort of awkwardly falls over anyway.  Matt gets knocked off the apron and Lesnar hits Jeff with the F5. Heyman gets the pin at 4:47. It was what it was I guess. Rating: 4/10 Booker T talks about being the newest member of the nWo. "I'm a professional, and as a professional", Booker cuts his promo short to hit on a fan. She gives her the key to her hotel room. Handicap Match Stone Cold Steve Austin vs. Big Show & Ric Flair Big Show comes out alone to his the nWo music, Flair enters to his usual Space Odyssey theme. King calls Flair "the Michael Jordan of the WWE". I can see it! Glass shatters and the crowd goes nuts. Austin has brawls with Flair and Big Show and tries for an early Stunner on Show, but he counters and Austin follows up with a clothesline on Flair. Austin manages to knock down Show with several axe handles. Flair comes off the top rope and takes a punch to the gut. Austin locks Show in the Figure Four Leg Lock. Flair rushes in to stop it but Austin trips Flair up and puts him in the Figre Four. Show goes for an elbow drop but Austin dodges it then bails from the ring. He brings in a few steel chairs and has fun with the ref for a bit. Flair and Austin do some technical wrestling but Austin soon resorts to punching Flair's head in on the mat, sending Flair retreating. Austin gets a high back body drop and they trade knife edge chops. Austin hits a clothesline and Flair tags out to Big Show. Show comes in and brawls with Austin for a bit, then gets a big boot.  Flair tags back in and hits a low blow. They trade chops again as the crowd duels "What?" with "Woo" chants. Flair goes up top again and Austin brings him down with a slam. Show sneaks in and hits Austin with a big powerslam. Flair pins for two. Flair and Show work over Austin's leg for a while. Flair eventually locks in the Figure Four. Austin gradually reverses it but Show comes in with an elbow drop.  Flair runs into a spinebuster and Austin gets a Figure Four Leg Lock of his own but Big Show breaks it up with a huge leg drop. Austin hits the Lou Thesz Press on Big Show from the second rope, followed by the pointed elbow. He gives Flair the same treatment. He looks to end it with a spinebuster but Big Show breaks up the pin. Austin counters a Chokeslam with a Stone Cold Stunner but Show more or less no sells it. X-Pac does a pointless run in and inadvertently superkicks Big Show. He takes a Stunner as well, then Flair eats a Stunner for the pinfall finish at 15:36. Hey it wasn't bad, it was actually better than I remembered slightly. Big Show didn't do too badly here, although I still would have preferred a straight forward Ric Flair vs. Stone Cold match. In all reality, the main event should have been Hogan vs. Austin, but I'll get to that later. As far as handicap matches go, this wasn't bad. Rating: 6/10 Hair vs. Hair Edge vs. Kurt Angle I wonder how hair vs. hair matches come about. Does a wrestler openly talk about wanting to cut their hair and then a writer overhears and pitches the idea, or do the writers already have the idea and they have to convince the wrestler they want to go bald? I assume it's the former considering Angle never grew his hair out again but still, food for thought. There's a near little stage next to the ramp that has a barber chair and a table full of hairdressing accessories. Angle gets a few front facelocks to start. Edge rolls up Angle for two then sidesteps him to ringside. Baseball slide kick and the match returns to the ring. Edge traps Angle's arms in the ropes and hits him with a spear. He goes back for a second spear but Angle catches him into a vicious belly-to-belly suplex over the ropes and to the floor, and Edge does not look like he landed well. Angle does some bland brawling in the ring and Edge wanders into a spinebuster for two. Angle continues to just pummel Edge in the corner and stomp him into the ropes. Angle hits a DDT for the near fal. Angle gets a rear chin lock and Edge manages to elbow his way out of it but Angle kees control. He goes into a front facelock and Edge fights out again and hits a belly-to-belly suplex of his own. He rallies with a few clotheslines and a spinning heel kick, then tries to end it with the Edge-O-Matic but only gets two. I love how the announcers always acted like that was a brutal finisher, yet I doubt Edge ever actually won a match clean with that move. Edge back drops Angle to ringside and hits a sloppy looking running plancha. He connects with a missile dropkick back in the ring for a near fall. Angle hits a German suplex. Edge counters a second one with a roll up for two. He hits the sit-out facebuster and goes up top, but Angle brings him back down with the running belly-to-belly for two.  Edge comes back with a jumping DDT from the corner for two. Edge then accidentally spears the referee, so he's probably dead now given how long referees stay down for a simple bump. Angle hits a German suplex and Edge sells it like a psychopath. Angle brings a chair into the ring but gets speared, BUT THERE'S NO REFEREE TO COUNT THE PIN! NOOOO! Edge lines up another spear, but Angle counters with a straight kick to the face. He goes for the Angle Slam (JUST LIKE AT BACKLASH) but Edge lands on his feet, ducks a clothesline and hits the spear for a close near fall.  Edge looks for an Edgecution but Angle counters and hits a spear followed by the Angle Slam for a near fall. THE STRAPS ARE DOWN! Ankle Lock time, Edge counters with an enziguiri. Angle recovers quickly and goes straight back to the ankle, but Edge counters with a small package for the quick three at 15:30. Angle tries to beat Edge down post-match, but he eats the Edgecution for his trouble. Edge drags Angle up the barber's stage, but Angle recovers and retreats backstage. Yet another great Angle vs. Edge match. They had awesome chemistry and each of their matches felt main event level "must see" matches. I really dug the psychology too. At Backlash we saw the same 'spear into a kick and Angle Slam' spot that won Angle the match. This time they repeated the spot, but Edge countered the move with a spear. Kayfabe - it shows learning and knowing each other's moves. It helps build the story in the ring.  Unfortunately I don't think it's AS good as their Backlash match given that the first half of the match was just Angle throwing punches and stomping Edge. Angle is the best mat wrestler in the business - especially so in 2002 - and that's what you want to see him do. I really thought after the belly-to-belly over the ropes that Angle would have focused on the back or something, instead he just brawled. Still, that's mostly nitpicking an otherwise great match. Rating: 8/10 The show cuts to a hotel room nearby where Booker is about to bed a fan, and I assume they're both perfectly fine with the WWE cameras in the room. The lights go out and it turns out Goldust is in the bed. Funny moment and good bit, despite Booker T's bare ass. Hell in a Cell Chris Jericho vs. Triple H Triple H needed something to do between world title feuds and Chris Jericho needed something to do in general. They trade punches and Trips gets the high knee and a back body drop. Lots of brawling. They go ringside and tease throwing each other into the cage, but they return to the ring and brawl some more instead. Jericho hits a forearm and charges Triple H in the corner, but he misses and spears the ringpost. Trips takes him outside and throws him into the cage a few times then hits a clothesline. Trips gets a vertical suplex in the ring for two. They brawl ringside again, Triple H eats the ring post and Jericho eats the stairs. Jericho is bleeding from the shoulder. He brings a ladder from under the ring and rams it into Trips. Trips is busted open now.  Jericho sets the ladder up in the corner of the ring and whips Trips into it. He tumbles out the ring and Jericho dumps the ladder on top of him. They return to the ring and Triple H gets a chair. They have a ladder vs. chair joust and the chair somehow wins. Trips nails Jericho with the chair over the back. Jericho recovers quickly and hits a bulldog over the ladder.  Jericho brings the ring stairs into the ring but Triple H trips him up and he goes head first into the steps. Trips hits the facebuster and chucks the stairs in Jericho's face. Trips whips Jericho who accidentally knocks Tim White off the apron, ending his career in the process. Jericho gets a chair shot on Triple H and pins him, but Tim White is out of it. Jericho goes and beats him up some more as referees run to the ring and use boltcutters to break their way into the cell. Triple H nails Jericho in the face with a sledgehammer but there's no referee to count a pin. Jericho crawls out of the ring and out of the cage and slams the door in Triple H's face. They brawl around the outside of the cell. Jericho dismantles the Spanish announce table and tries to Pedigree Trips, but he counters with a DDT through the table. He then pulls a barbed wire 2x4 out of nowhere and Jericho scampers up the cage to get away. Triple H (and a new referee) climbs up after Jericho. Jericho snatches that 2x4 and nails Triple H a few times with it. He locks Trips in the Walls of Jericho on the top of the cell, but Trips uses a support beam to pull his way out of the hold. Trips gets a low blow and tries for a Pedigree, but Jericho counters with a back body drop. And no, the top of the cell does not break. Triple H hits Jericho with a 2x4 and follows up with the Pedigree for the win at 24:31.  These early HIAC matches, like from 1997 - 2002, just felt a lot more like Hell around a Cell rather than Hell in a Cell. I think this match had the potential to be really good, but instead it felt more like an homage to Triple H's Cell matches with Foley - and to a lesser extent - HBK vs. Undertaker. The thing is, I'll happily drink an AC Cola if I have one, but I'd still prefer a Coca Cola. This match isn't memorable because it tries too hard to be like previous cell matches. There were a few cool moments, but overall none of them impressed too much and the match didn't feel even remotely important. Rating: 6/10 Edge and Angle play cat and mouse backstage. Get the 'F' Out... Again! Meanwhile at The World, Maven and Torrie Wilson attempt to act like they're on a date together. WWE Tag Team Championship Billy & Chuck (c) with Rico vs. Rikishi and a MYSTERY PARTNER Apparently Vinnie Mac has named Rikishi's mystery partner, but the tag team championship isn't important enough for him to even give an on-screen announcement, so he just has a stagehand give Finkel a note. The Fink announces that Rikishi's tag team partner is Rico. Yep. The crowd cares even less than the people in the ring. Billy opens up on Rikishi and gets a quick DDT, but Rikishi no sells it and hits a super kick. He misses the butt splash in the corner and takes a double flapjack from the champs.  Chuck gets tagged in and hits a legit impressive belly-to-belly suplex on Rikishi for two. Billy tags in and hits the Fameasser for two... Seriously, was this even considered a finishing move at this point? If Rikishi is kicking out of it like sixty-seconds into a match, you can hardly call it your finishing move. Chuck comes in and takes a belly-to-belly suplex. Rikishi cleans house with a back body drop and a Samoan drop for the champs. He sits on Chuck but Billy makes the save. Rikishi hits some kind of one man 3D on Billy. Rico comes in and tries to roundhouse Rikishi, but he misses and hits Chuck instead. Rikishi superkicks Rico and pins Chuck for the win at 3:50. Rikishi dances on the stage with his title. I like to think there was a writer backstage who came up with this ingenious swerve months and months ago, smilling and laughing at his own ingenuity at how no one would ever see this coming. And that man's name is probably Vince Russo.  This was dumb and the fans didn't care in the slightest. Billy & Chuck won a lot of title matches, but I never felt they were given a chance to properly shine, especially when they're booked in nonsense like this. Meaningless nonsense too given that Rikishi and Rico dropped the straps back to them two weeks later. Being in the death slot between the two big main events didn't help, and neither did Rikishi who mostly carried the match. Rating: 2/10 Angle sneak attacks Edge backstage and drags him out to the barber's stage. Angle tries for an Angle Slam, but Edge lands on his feet and locks in a sleeper hold. And of course, this happens to be one of those one in a million times when a sleeper hold actually works. He puts Angle in the chair and shaves him completely bald, and covers his head in shaving cream. The crowd chants "You're Bald" as opposed to "You Suck!" History in the making people. WWE Undisputed Championship Hulk Hogan (c) vs. The Undertaker Undertaker walks out, no motorbike tonight, but he is wearing Hogan's weightlifting belt. And fuck me, Hogan comes out to that god awful d-grade poor man's copy of Voodoo Child. I'd prefer no music at all over this. Taker immediately whips Hogan with the weightlifting belt as he enters the ring. Hogan comes back with right hands and hits a back body drop. He clotheslines Taker over the ropes and they brawl at ringside. Taker gets sent into the stairs. Taker works the arm back in the ring. He goes up for Old School but Hogan crotches him and hits a superplex for two.  Taker starts attacking Hogan's leg with chopblocks and elbow drops, because Hogan is way too fast and NEEDS to be slowed down asap! Taker works over Hogan's leg on the apron and ring post. He locks him in a leg bar, but Hogan fights out. He hits a big boot and tries for the leg drop, but Taker rolls out of the way and locks in the world's loosest half Boston crab. Hogan gets a ropebreak. Hogan misses a clothesline and takes the lamest Chokeslam you can find for $9.99. Taker gets two and Hogan starts Hulking Up. He hits the big leg drop for a near fall. Hogan telegraphs a back body drop and Taker hits the running DDT.  Vinnie Mac comes out to ringside and chats with the ref while Hogan hits a leg drop and gets the pin. Hogan brings Vince in WITH AUTHORITY and hits him with a leg drop. Taker comes in with a chair shot for Hogan and hits a second, slightly better Chokeslam for the win at 11:17.  Taker beats down Hogan with the chair some more after the match. Every bit as bad and boring as you would expect it to be. Not a great match in the nineties and time doesn't do them any favours. Also a dull way to end the show. The only positive thing I can say about this match is at least they didn't make Hogan work a 20+ minute match again. Rating: 2/10 In summary, Judgment Day is better than I remembered it being. I remembered a completely average pay-per-view with nothing notable aside from the fact that it was the first "WWE" pay-per-view and Angle had his head shaved. But really, there's a few damn decent matches. I'd say it's a worthwhile PPV just for the IC title match and the Hair vs. Hair matches alone. The handicap match isn't bad and some people might actually be into the Cell match. The main event is a bit of a stinker and there's a few duds, but otherwise I feel like the good slightly outweighs the bad. Overall Rating: 6/10

[thelowblow]

[Retro Review] WWF Backlash 2002

Kansas City, MO Approx 12,000 in attendance Announce Team: Jim Ross & Jerry Lawler Champions: WWF Undisputed Champion: Triple H WWF Intercontinental Champion: Rob Van Dam WWF European Champion: William Regal WWF Women's Champion: Jazz WWF Cruiserweight Champion: Billy Kidman WWF Tag Team Champions: Billy & Chuck WWF Hardcore Champion: Bubba Ray Dudley Historically, this is kind of a noteworthy pay-per-view. For one thing it's the last American pay-per-view to go under the WWF name, prior to their legal change to WWE in early May. I believe Insurrextion (the UK PPV) was still under the WWF banner though. Also, this was the first event to take place after the brand extension. There was a lot of excitement and uncertainty in the year. The nWo was quickly becoming not-a-thing after Hogan turned babyface at Wrestlemania, and Nash ended up injuring himself again, more or less just leaving Scott Hall and X-Pac for the time being. Hogan was doing the rounds for his one last "hurrah", this time challenging for the Undisputed Championship. The Rock had left the WWE for a few months again, I assume to shoot more movies. This was in that weird transitional phase where The Rock was coming and going, with one foot in a wrestling ring and the other foot in Hollywood. I think it was kind of a shit or get off the pot sort of thing. Meanwhile, Stone Cold was floating around the card, stewing and contemplating his inevitable walk out. The Undertaker was in his failed American Badass heel run, full swing. Kane was out with an injury and Jericho was quickly nosediving back to the midcard following his big loss to Triple H at Wrestlemania. Also, a young rookie by the name of Brock Lesnar had just debuted on Raw by destroying everyone in the ring and was enjoying his first feud with The Hardy Boyz.  WWF Cruiserweight Championship Billy Kidman (c) vs. Tajiri with Torrie Wilson This was when Tajiri was a heel and playing the role of evil foreign overbearing boyfriend and forcing Torrie to cover up in geisha outfits.  Fast paced switches to open up the match, and Kidman seems to have the upperhand. Kidman hits a missile dropkick from the second rope for two. The fight goes ringside and Tajiri slams Kidman over the barricade in the wheelbarrow position. Tajiri puts Kidman in a chin lock. He fights out of it and nails a hurracanrana but then runs into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. He gets hung up in the tree of woe, "shaddup!" shouts Tajiri as he dropkicks Kidman in the face. He locks Kidman into a bow and arrow across the turnbuckle post. Backbreaker submission in the ring but Kidman knees out.  Kidman runs into the Tarantula. He looks for the Buzzsaw Kick but he misses and they slug it out. Tajiri goes for the handspring elbow but Kidman counters it with a dropkick and it looks super stiff. Tajiri counters a back suplex with a spinning heel kick to the back of the head. Tajiri hits a German suplex bridge for a near fall. Tajiri ducks a clothesline and hits a super kick for two. Kidman counters a powerbomb into a sit out facebuster. He goes up top for the Shooting Star Press but he only hits canvas. Tajiri nails the Buzzsaw Kick for a near fall. "Kidman" chants from the crowd. The fight goes up onto the corner. Kidman hits a BK Bomb from the second rope for a near fall. Kidman goes for a powerbomb but Tajiri spits the RED mist in his face and lands on him for the three at 9:08. After the match, Michael Cole tries to interview Tajiri. He talks in Japanese, but he seems genuinely pleased with himself. Really good opener. It was pretty much the Tajiri Show for most of it, but Tajiri's awesome, so it's very watchable. Rating: 7/10 Bradshaw and Faarooq reunite like long lost lovers that haven't seen each other in years. Scott Hall with X-Pac vs. Bradshaw with Faarooq X-Pac is wearing Kane's mask, I guess for extra heat or something. Just as its clear that Pac and Hall are about to make it a handicap match, Faarooq comes out to even the odds. Why we needed the little backstage segment to lead into this doesn't really make much sense to me though.  "APA" chants. Hall throws a toothpick in Bradshaw's eye, so he punches him down. They brawl around a bit. Bradshaw hits a DDT for two. Hall tries to bail from the ring but backs into Faarooq, who decks him like a true babyface. He clotheslines X-Pac down as well then throws Hall back into the ring.  Bradshaw hits a shoulder block and an elbow drop for two. Bradshaw beats Hall down a bit. Hall comes back with rights. X-Pac gets a cheap shot on Bradshaw over the ropes.  Hall clotheslines Bradshaw in the corner and stomps him for what feels like several hours. Bradshaw comes out with a shoulder block. Bradshaw throws more rights and nails him with a big boot.  Bradshaw nails the Clothesline from Hell but X-Pac puts Hall's foot on the ropes. Faarooq chases X-Pac around the ring. He jumps up onto the apron and Bradshaw knocks him off. Hall hits a low blow and a roll up for three at 5:43. It was two guys punching each other for six minutes with a shitty finish. Rating: 1/10 Vince blabbers onto Ric Flair about something or other.  WWF Women's Championship Jazz (c) vs. Trish Stratus Before the match, Molly Holly comes out and has a sook and accuses Trish of being a cheater. She cheap shots her with a microphone then whips her into the ring stairs. Jazz takes advantage and throws Trish in the ring. Sidewalk slam on Trish gets a near fall. Jazz hits a kamikaze roll. Trish blocks a right hand and strikes back with a Chick Kick for the near fall. Trish beats on Jazz in the corner and hits the Stratusphere followed by a neckbreaker for two. Jazz comes back with a sit down powerbomb for a near fall.  Trish tries for the Stratusfaction but Jazz counters with a back suplex for two. Jazz nails a dragonwhip into the half Boston Crab. Trish nearly gets to the ropes but Jazz switches it into the STF for the submission win at 4:29.  You know what, it was short but good. Compare this match to one of Trish's earlier matches say in 2001, or even just a couple of months before this and you can definitely see the difference. Trish seems a lot more confident and consistent in the ring and Jazz proved to be a good opponent for her to work with.  Rating: 6/10 Brock Lesnar with Paul Heyman vs. Jeff Hardy with Lita Jeff immediately attacks Lesnar as he enters the ring, but Lesnar overpowers him and throws him to ringside. Jeff returns to the ring and dropkicks Lesnar off the apron. Lesnar catches the plancha and scoops Jeff up, but he slips out and shoves Lesnar into the ring post. He nails a top rope cross body in the ring for two. Lesnar forces Jeff into the corner and begins destroying him with shoulder thrusts and belly-to-belly suplexes. Lesnar nails three delayed backbreakers in a row. Lesnar destroys Jeff csome more in the corners. Jeff eventually hits the Whisper in the Wind. He follows up with a jawbreaker and the Swanton Bomb but he only gets two. The fans pop big for Jeff though. Jeff retrieves a chair but he runs into an F5, which JR says was over the chair. The chair was a million miles away from the F5, don't lie to me Ross.  Lesnar hits three big powerbombs and the ref calls for the bell at 5:32. I know Jeff isn't Matt, but Lita could at least emote or something at ringside. She literally just stood around. You can at least pretend to care about Jeff being powerbombed into oblivion.  It was a squash match but it achieved what it needed to, and the crowd popped for Jeff's moments.  Rating: 5/10 Edge vs. Kurt Angle Angle gets a headlock and a shoulder block. Edge comes back with a pair of clotheslines. Edge hits a dropkick and a flapjack before clotheslining Angle to ringside. Edge connects with a spinning heel kick, but Angle comes back with a German suplex. Angle pummels Edge in the corner with haymakers and chops. Edge tries to fight back but runs into a belly-to-belly suplex for two. Angle gets a vertical suplex for two. Chin lock! Edge fights back but takes a German suplex. Edge blocks a second one and hits a belly-to-belly suplex of his own. Edge rallies with a flying forearm and a high back body drop. He nails a sit-out facebuster for a near fall. Edge counters a back suplex into a half nelson bulldog for another near fall. Edge goes up top but Angle explodes with the running belly-to-belly superplex for two. Angle hits the triple German suplexes. Angle looks for the Angle Slam, but Edge counters and hits a brutal German suplex.  Edge back drops Angle to ringside. Edge goes up top and hits a cross body to ringside.  Edge goes back up top and hits a missile dropkick for two. Edge tries for an Edgecution, Angle counters out of it, Edge tries for the Edge-O-Matic but Angle reverses it into the Angle Slam for a near fall. The straps are down!!! Ankle Lock is locked in. Edge rolls through into a pin for two. Angle hits a falling clothesline. Angle retrieves a chair. He misses Edge and hits the ropes, bouncing it into his face. Edge nails the Edge-O-Matic for two.  He lines up for the spear, but Angle kicks him in the face and nails a second Angle Slam for three at 13:25. Very solid match that actually felt really important based entirely on how hard they worked. Edge and Angle had solid chemistry. Awesome stuff. Rating: 9/10 Chris Jericho comes out and complains about not having a match. Fair point. WWF Intercontinental Championship Rob Van Dam (c) vs. Eddie Guerrero RVD does the whole thumbs thing but Eddie slugs him in the face. Eddie flips back over RVD but eats a spinning heel kick. "RVD" chants. Monkey flip out of the corner and another heel kick for two. Eddie catches a kick and hits a dragon whip. He beats on him in the corner. RVD does the shoulder thrusts and back flip. Eddie stays on RVD though with punches and kicks in the corner. RVD hits a spin kick and a standing moonsault for two. Round house kick knocks Eddie down for two. The crowd is fairly burnt out after the last match. RVD hits a vertical suplex with a float over into a pin for two. RVD goes up top but Eddie crotches him. Eddie goes for a superplex, but RVD snaps him over the top rope. He comes off top with a flying kick and a cartwheel moonsault for two. RVD goes for a suplex but Eddie counters with a small package for two. Eddie gets another roll up for two. Dropkick by RVD knocks Eddie off the apron. Slingshot to the apron and a moonsault but it looks like he might have missed. Eddie gets planted over the barricade and RVD hits a revolving leg drop from the apron. The referee has yet to start a count out. RVD tries for Rolling Thunder in the ring but Eddie gets his knees up. Tilt-a-whirl backbreaker by Eddie. Back suplex gets two. Eddie gets a surfboard stretch into a dragon sleeper, dear god it looks brutal. Seriously, it's a submission that legit looks painful.  RVD punches his way out of it. Eddie locks in the Gory Special. RVD rolls out of it into a pin for two. Eddie hits a leg lariat and the heelo from the apron for two. Eddie hits a handtrap hurracanrana from the top rope for a near fall. Eddie hits a brainbuster followed by a back suplex for two. Eddie goes up top but RVD meets him with some kicks. Eddie comes back with a sunset flip powerbomb for two. RVD avoids a powerbomb and nails the step over heel kick.  Eddie bails to ringside and retrieves the title belt. RVD tries to snatch it back and accidentally hits the ref with the belt. Eddie drops RVD over the belt with a neckbreaker then hits the frog splash for the win at 11:43. That was certainly a decisive win. This was The Eddie Guerrero Show, and it was a hell of a show. Eddie came out of this looking awesomely while RVD came out looking second rate. Nevertheless, it was a good match and I'm still cringing at that Mexican Surfboard Dragon Sleeper. Rating: 8/10 JR and The King talk about how great The Scorpion King is. King tells JR that he looks like Roger Ebert. #1 Contendership Match for the WWF Undisputed Championship Stone Cold Steve Austin vs. The Undertaker Special Guest Referee: Ric Flair Flair's wearing some flashy red shoes that clash with his referee's shirt. Austin gets pop of the night. They do a lot of showey bullshit, parading around the ring and staring each other down like this is a once in a lifetime classic. Lock up and Taker gets the side headlock. Undertaker comes off the ropes with a shoulder block. Austin bails to ringside for a breather. Lock up and a side headlock by Austin. Austin hits a shoulder block but Taker doesn’t go down. Austin decides to do some push ups to show off his raw strength. Taker gets another headlock and a shoulder block. Austin gets up and nails a clothesline. Austin motions for a test of strength, but he decides to just flip Taker off instead. Taker gets yet another headlock and a shoulder block. Austin springs up with a hip toss and an arm drag take down. Rough looking drop toe hold and Austin gets an arm bar. He starts working the arm. Hammer lock by Austin. Taker backs Austin into a corner and elbows him in the face. Austin ducks a right hand and goes to town on Taker with chops. Austin runs into a big boot and a clothesline for two. JR also criticizes Flair as a referee, good stuff. Taker starts working over Austin’s arm. He goes up for Old School and it connects for two. Austin lands a Lou Thesz Press and the elbow for two. Austin clotheslines Taker to ringside. Taker drags him out and they trade punches before returning to the ring. Austin clotheslines Taker out again. Austin slams Taker’s head into the Spanish announce table a bunch of times. Taker boots Austin off the apron and they go back to ringside… again. They brawl some more, and a weak “Austin” chant starts up. Austin eventually punches Taker into the audience. Special Guest Referee Ric Flair hasn’t started a ten count yet. He’s just following them and hanging around. Austin throws Taker back over into the timekeeper’s area before engaging in some more brawling. Flair sends Taker into the ring post. Austin then looks for a piledriver of some sort but Taker dumps him with a back body drop. Taker drops an elbow. Taker rams Austin’s head into the motorbike. Seriously, where the fuck is the ten count? They’ve been outside of the ring longer than they’ve been in it. Scott Hall and X-Pac walk out onto the stage, likely to boast about their monumental victory over Bradshaw from before. Taker and Austin awkwardly exchange a botched Irish whip and Austin eventually gets nudged into the stairs. Taker continues to pound on Austin. He works him over on the apron and goes “vintage” with the leg drop. Hall and X-Pac seem to stand around and chat with each other. So let me just ignore the match for a moment – Flair injected himself as the guest referee of this match so that he could keep control and call it down the middle. So far he’s let them spend the entire match at ringside without initiating a single count out, he’s let them fight in the audience and now he’s not doing a single thing about Hall and X-Pac. Stupid to me. Undertaker has a figure four leg lock on Austin for some reason, despite no leg work being done. I guess it’s some kind of way to mock Flair. Austin gets the rope break. Taker nails a big boot for two. Taker locks in a neck vice. I like that they still refer to Hall and X-Pac as the nWo despite the fact that it’s basically just the two of them. Austin gets a sleeper hold, because that’s what this match desperately needed. Taker reverses with a back suplex for two. Flair counts hella slow and the King calls him out on it. Taker goes back to the neck vice. Austin fights out of it and goes for a Stunner, but Taker shoves him into the ropes and hits a clothesline for two. Austin starts punching back. He misses a clothesline and Taker hits the flying clothesline for two. Taker starts untying one of the turnbuckle pads. Undertaker gets sent into the exposed turnbuckle and both guys clothesline each other down. JR mentions that an experienced referee would have noticed the turnbuckle pad being undone. Because all of the WWE’s senior referees always see that happen... Another slugfest emerges in the corner and Austin beats the snot out of Taker in the corner. He stomps a mudhole. Taker hits a back elbow from the corner and goes for the Tombstone Piledriver, Austin slips out and whips Taker into Flair. He hits a Stunner but Flair is down… Flair is down. Flair, the sixteen-time World Champion is knocked out from Undertaker bumping into him. Jesus fucking Christ. Austin tries to wake Flair up but Taker gets a low blow – right in Flair’s field of vision, but apparently it’s “undetected”. Taker hits the Chokeslam for a near fall. Taker retrieves a steel chair and Flair snatches the chair off him while Austin hits a low blow. Taker basically no sells it and big boots Austin for two. God this match is dragging. Austin gets a spinebuster for two. Austin goes for another Stunner, but Taker pushes him into Flair, and Flair is down again from being bumped. Taker nails Austin with the steel chair and pins him for two. Undertaker gives the old cutthroat sign. He goes for a dragon sleeper, but Austin reverses with a clothesline for two. Austin locks in a dragon sleeper of his own and the audience doesn’t care. Taker grabs the steel chair and swings it but misses. Austin stomps him down again. Austin picks up the chair but Taker boots it into Austin’s face and pins him for three at 27:03. Austin’s foot was on the rope but Flair missed it. Austin gives Taker a post-match Stunner. Backstage, the Coach shows Flair footage of the match that just passed with Austin’s foot on the rope. “Oh shit,” says Flair. Okay, this was a good show up until this match. You would think Austin and Undertaker – two veterans – would be able to produce something entertaining. They didn’t though. This was boring as hell and completely murdered the crowd. Compare how hot the crowd was for Billy freaking Kidman in the opening match to how dead they are after half an hour of Austin and Taker punching each other around the ring. The Hall and X-Pac appearance led to absolutely nothing and only distracted people from the match, which I guess isn’t a completely bad thing. The shitty referee oversights are painful to sit through, I hated how loose they used to let matches go with the rules. They spent so long at ringside. There was no flow to the match either. The major issue was that this was at least fifteen-minutes longer than it needed to be. Give Austin and Taker like, ten-minutes in the ring and let them have a big back and forth and trade finishers for a couple of minutes, and you send the crowd home happy. For a good Austin vs. Taker match, I would direct you to SummerSlam ’98. Skip this match. Rating: 2/10 WWF Tag Team Championship Billy & Chuck © with Rico vs. Al Snow & Maven Goodluck waking up this crowd after that mess. The heel champs immediately beat on the babyfaces when they get in the ring. Maven and Snow clothesline them both down and send them to ringside. Chuck and Maven start off in the ring with some stomping. Billy gets tagged in and trades punches with Maven. Billy accidentally knocks Al Snow off the apron who was inexplicably standing in the middle of the apron. Billy hits a shoulder block for two. The heels isolate Maven in the corner. Maven hits Chuck with an enziguiri. Lukewarm tag to Al Snow and Billy is tagged too. Snow comes in with clotheslines and knockdowns. Back body drop to Chuck. He hits Billy with the mounted punches in the corner. Chuck clotheslines Snow from the apron. Billy hits a swinging neckbreaker for two. Tag to Chuck. Snapmare by Chuck, surfboard stretch. “Rico’s gay” chants the crowd. It strikes me that this heel homosexual gimmick wouldn’t really work this day in age. It really heavily insinuates that if you’re gay, then you’re a bad guy. Chuck hits a really good belly-to-belly suplex for a near fall. Tag to Billy. He sends Snow into the corner. Billy misses a stinger splash and awkwardly collapses in the middle of the ring. Chuck runs in and gets tripped up into Billy’s groin. Snow makes the cold tag to Maven.  Maven hits a bunch of clotheslines and nails Chuck with his finisher – THE DROPKICK! Billy hits the Fameasser but Al Snow drags Maven out for the save. Chuck hits Snow with a super kick. Billy distracts the referee while Chuck holds Maven in a full nelson and Rico comes in with a roundhouse kick, but accidentally hits Chuck with it. Billy gets whipped into a sit down spinebuster from Al Snow. Maven goes up to the top rope and nails a crossbody for the near fall from the top rope. The fans actually bought it.Al Snow chases Rico around the ring and Chuck comes in with a super kick, Billy pins Maven for three at 5:58. Well, they tried at least. The fans weren’t really interested after being put to sleep by the two main eventers beforehand but they started to wake up in the final minute of the match. Rating: 4/10 WWF Undisputed Championship Triple H © vs. Hulk Hogan Oh my fucking god, what is this piece of shit butchering of Hendrix that I’m listening to? WWE must have lost the rights to Voodoo Child, but don’t they still have Real American? Can’t they use that instead??? Dear god my ears are bleeding. Hogan, I THINK, gets the bigger pop. They have a bit of a face off in the ring to start things off. Mostly “Hogan” chants, but the fans aren’t so vehemently Pro-Hogan as they were at Mania 18. Lock up. Triple H shoves Hogan back and the fans boo. Second lock up and Trips shoves Hogan a second time. “Hogan” chants as Trips gets into Hogan’s face. Lock up again and Hogan shoves Trips all the way back into the corner this time, and he decides to pose off to celebrate this achievement. Test of strength time. It’s refreshing to see a test of strength that isn’t just a snarky heel tactic. Hogan initially overpowers Triple H, but Trips overpowers Hogan back, Hogan powers back but Triple H hits an elbow to the side and goes into an top wrist lock. Hogan fights back and reverses it into a side headlock. Trips shoves Hogan and he comes back with a big shoulder block. Lock up again and Trips powers Hogan into the corner. Triple H decides to change things up with a slap. Hogan looks shocked. Triple H starts beating on Hogan with rights and stomps. Hogan comes back with a back body drop and a pair of clotheslines. He chokes Trips in the corner and nails the mounted punches. Hogan sends Trips to ringside. Hogan whips Triple H into the barricade. Trips tries for a vertical suplex, but Hogan counters with one of his own. Again, the referee is playing pretty loose with the count out rule. I guess count outs are only for undercard matches, hey? Triple H fights back with punches in the corner. Duelling “Triple H” and “Hogan” chants. Hogan gets sent hard into the corner. Trips looks for the Pedigree but Hogan counters with a catapult into the corner and a roll up for two. Man, Hogan looks out of breath. Hogan clotheslines Trips in the corner, then hits a Diamond Cutter for two. Weird. Triple H slips out of a scoop slam and hits Hogan with a set of chop blocks. He works over the leg against the turnbuckle post. JR talks about Hogan’s past leg injuries, which I kind of like that they talk about this. Trips hits more chop blocks in the ring. He elbows the leg. Trips goes for the Figure Four but Hogan boots his way out of it. Trips goes straight back on the leg with more elbows. He goes for the Figure Four again, but Hogan boots out of it. Trips goes back with mounted punches this time and goes into full heel mode with a choke hold. Triple H finally locks in the Figure Four. You know what this makes me think of? Playing one of the old SmackDown games on hardcore mode and really wanting to lock in a submission, but the AI keeps countering without fail. Trips hangs onto the ropes to get more heel heat like a true babyface. Hogan turns the move over and the move is released. Trips gets a sleeper hold, because this match has been lightning fast and they both need a breather. Of course, Hogan Hulks Up and fights out of it to wake the crowd back up. He hits a back suplex, but both men stay down this time. Hogan hits an axe handle and a big boot. He lands the leg drop and gets the pin but Chris Jericho runs down to ringside and drags the referee out. He has a steel chair and he cracks Hogan in the head with it. Jericho throws Hebner into the ring but Triple H grabs him and hits a facebuster before clotheslining him to ringside. Hogan starts to Hulk Up for real this time. Hogan misses the leg drop and Triple H hits the Pedigree. He pins Hogan but out comes Undertaker to sock Hebner in the face. Taker grabs Jericho’s chair and cracks Triple H in the head with it. Hogan isn’t having any of this and he Hulks Up for a third time. He clotheslines Taker to ringside and lands the leg drop on Trips for the three-count at 22:04 and fuck, I’m subjected to this awful poor man’s Hendrix cover. Triple H is seething but he shakes Hogan’s hand. Who thought Hulk Hogan should go in the main event for over twenty-minutes? That’s bad booking, even if it was the eighties. It started off okay, but the leg work went too long and overall, the match just dragged. Hogan got his token championship win in his farewell run, and it is what it is. What scares me is Hogan’s talk of wanting to have one last run in the WWE – again. It was a bit of a stretch in 2002. In 2015 I think I’d be turning off the TV. Rating: 3/10 This was shaping up to be a really solid show up until the main eventers came out. It’s quite telling of where the WWE was at when its undercard was severely outperforming the main event. Say what you will about WWE now, but their entire roster is solid at the moment and their main event scene is tight right now too. Back in ’02, not so much. This show was killed by lacklustre performances from Stone Cold, The Undertaker, Hogan and Triple H – the guys you were paying money to see. They didn’t deliver but at least Edge, Angle, RVD, Eddie and co did. The opening match was great, Angle and Edge great, RVD and Eddie was great. The diva match is certainly watchable too. Hall and Bradshaw was weak but at least it wasn’t long. If they took twenty minutes away from the main eventers and spread the time amongst the undercard, this probably would have been a much better show, instead it’s pretty weak in retrospect.. Overall Rating: 5/10

[thelowblow]

WWE killing heat, ignoring fans and desperately needing competition

The Royal Rumble match last month saw a number of fan favourites get treated like bottom barrel jobbers, while the company men reigned supreme. One can’t help ask the simple question: “why?”

During the nineties, the WWE faced its stiffest competition ever in WCW. For a solid two years, WCW Monday Nitro dominated the ratings while Raw struggled to keep up. With this kind of threat, Vince McMahon was forced to take some risks and keep his finger on the pulse of the fans. They had to do outrageous things like listen to the fans, push the popular characters and build stars based on who would get over with the fans. They couldn’t afford to be stubborn or pigheaded, simply because the fans had alternatives in WCW and (perhaps to a lesser extent) ECW. Fast forward to 2015, and for a second year in a row, the Royal Rumble is met with unanimous boos and negativity from the fans. Not because “the bad guy” won, not because we so vehemently dislike Roman Reigns, but because WWE – for a second year in a row – have willingly ignored the fans. WWE has a history of pushing “their” guys and not the guys that are actually talented and over with the fans based on their own abilities. Let’s go back to 2001 when WWE acquired WCW and ECW. The two most over guys were Rob Van Dam and Booker T. Booker was initially treated with some degree of respect as he gained his fifth WCW World Championship in a WWE ring. He even headlined SummerSlam with The Rock. But he quickly slipped down the card and by early 2002, he was a glorified midcard jobber and a tag team wrestler teamed up with Test of all people. He was wrestling the likes of Steven Richards and Spike Dudley. Booker, one of the biggest stars of WCW, had to claw his way back up the card. By 2003 he was one of the hottest acts on Raw. He had in-ring ability and enough hooks to get himself over with the fans. He was soon thrown into a high calibre program with Triple H over the World Heavyweight Championship. Their program consisted mostly of Triple H and Ric Flair putting down Booker T’s ability – and even hinted on some racism there – before the two met at Wrestlemania 19. Most people thought Booker was primed to upset the champ, but that was not to be. Not only did Triple H retain the World title, he did so in incredibly dominant fashion. He kicked out of all of Booker’s biggest moves – including the seldom used Harlem Hangover – and then destroyed Booker with one single Pedigree. This was a main event level match at Wrestlemania, Triple H hits a Pedigree, then takes about ten hours to pin him and still wins. This match sent the super popular Booker T back to the midcard where he spent the rest of the year competing with the likes of Christian and Mark Henry and tag teaming with Rob Van Dam. Speaking of Rob Van Dam – he was 100% the most popular guy to join the WWE roster after the Invasion. They briefly pushed RVD to the big leagues by including him in a triple threat for the WWE Championship against Stone Cold and Kurt Angle at No Mercy ’01. RVD maintained his popularity despite such low tier feuds throughout 2002, until the WWE were forced to put him in a World Heavyweight title feud against Triple H that culminated in a match at Unforgiven. Despite the fact that Triple H had been delivering abysmal work since his return from injury, RVD still was forced to do the job. He was then thrown into a tag team with Kane and spent the next several years jobbing to other guys and enjoying meaningless tag team runs. Let’s look at The Nexus angle in 2010. It was the hottest storyline WWE had given us in years. They were actively injecting new blood into the weekly programming, and they were making them a dominant faction, destroying big names like John Cena and Randy Orton. Wade Barrett looked to kickstart a brilliant career. But what happened? Cena destroyed The Nexus at SummerSlam and the faction lost all of their momentum. Where’s Wade Barrett today? He’s gone through multiple bad gimmick changes, all of which he’s embraced, and now he’s holding a meaningless title and losing non-title matches against Sin Cara of all people. Wade Barrett is a guy that should be defending the WWE World Heavyweight Championship, not the Intercontinental Championship. Let’s consider perhaps the most heinous example of WWE blatantly rejecting the stars that the fans like. We all know about the “brass rings” in WWE. Vince and management like to encourage performers on the WWE roster to reach for the brass ring on their own and not to look for help from creative. Zack Ryder is someone who did just that, thanks to his surprisingly popular YouTube series. Audiences highjacked WWE shows with “we want Ryder” chants. They popped bigger for Zack Ryder matches than for John Cena matches. Ryder was there at the glass ceiling, pounding on it to retrieve his brass rings. WWE promptly said, “Nope, sorry, not on our watch,” and sandbagged Ryder in awful storylines with Kane and had him continue to act like the jobber they saw him as. I’m not saying Ryder was ever World Champ material, but the guy had a lot more going for him than WWE ever gave him credit for. He got himself over. He reached out for the brass rings and WWE snatched them away from him. Dolph Ziggler is currently one of the most popular guys on the roster. In 2013, he had his big moment when he cashed in the Money in the Bank contract over Alberto Del Rio and became World Heavyweight Champion. The pop was enormous and it was obvious – Ziggler’s time had come. It seemed like WWE finally were willing to allow Ziggler to stand up at the top of the roster alongside Cena, Orton, Triple H, Punk, Del Rio as the top dogs in the company. An unfortunate concussion at the hands of Swagger put the champion on the sidelines. Then in his first world title defence, he lost the strap back to Del Rio and Ziggler quickly plummeted back to the midcard. It felt like it was all a ruse all along. How could WWE give Ziggler the ball but then take it back from him before even giving him the chance to run with it? In late 2014, it looked like they were putting some faith in Ziggler. They gave him a huge win at Survivor Series, kept him fairly well protected on Raw and put him in matches where he could truly shine, like his ladder match at TLC against Luke Harper. But at the Royal Rumble, we should him get knocked out by Big Show and dumped out of the ring like a bag of trash within a few minutes after entry. Ziggler now seems to be teaming up with Ryback, because if there’s one thing WWE loves doing with popular wrestlers that they have no clue how to book, it’s to sandbag them in a pointless tag team. Go back and watch Wrestlemania 30. Sure, the big story there is Daniel Bryan. But watch the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal. Cesaro scoops up Big Show and body slams him out of the ring with ease and the fans go absolutely mental. This made Cesaro white hot and it seemed like the sky was the limit for him. But they booked him poorly for the rest of the year. Now he’s a jobber with Tyson Kidd. Let’s observe Dean Ambrose. He was successful as part of The Shield, he held the United States title for a long time. Then The Shield broke up. One of the best things about 2014 was Ambrose and Rollins’ feud. It was so well delivered. So personal and aggressive. Ambrose made it his business to make Rollins pay for his treachery and the fans loved every minute of it. They delivered pure gold at SummerSlam with what I believe is the best lumberjack match I’ve ever seen. They delivered an insane match at Hell in a Cell, with a controversial ending. Ambrose – for a time – was WWE’s hottest act with Daniel Bryan out of the picture and Cena getting his usual mixed reactions. But since Hell in a Cell, Ambrose has had a major fall from grace with abysmally booked matches against Bray Wyatt and goofy comedy segments on Raw. And for some reason, they even fed him to Rusev a few weeks ago, more or less. Dean Ambrose – who you could have argued should have been in line for a World title match last year – now seems to be entering a feud against BNB for the meaningless Intercontinental title. It wouldn’t have been hard to keep Ambrose’s popularity and momentum going, I’m just saying. And of course, now there’s Daniel Bryan. He’s the guy that WWE tried to phase out last year, but the fans wouldn’t stand for it. WWE made the mindboggling decision to bring Bryan back in time for the Royal Rumble this year. They hyped him up as a major contender for the victory. Not only that, but they had him eliminated after ten minutes or so of ring time and expected the fans to sit by and cheer on a Roman Reigns victory. WWE would never have done this fifteen-years-ago, because it would mean that everyone watching would take all their money and give it to WCW instead. This is evidence of why WWE needs competition. Without competition, WWE is creatively bankrupt. They push the guys they like, who they think looks good, who they want to market, and fuck the rest of them. Daniel Bryan – the most talented in-ring performer on WWE’s roster right now – is seen as a transitional champion by the WWE. He is a B+ player to the eyes of the WWE. I firmly believe that at Fast Lane, we will see Bryan put Reigns over, then Bryan will be dumped into the upper midcard and probably have some pointless feuds with Big Show and Kane again. He will transition into a “make everyone else look good” role as a glorified main event jobber. I want to be wrong about this, I’m hoping I’m wrong. It will blow my mind if Bryan somehow beats Reigns, but it won’t happen. Could you imagine if in ’98, they decided to have Austin lose the Rumble and keep him in the midcard and push someone else like Triple H or Ken Shamrock or Billy Gunn in his place? We would probably be watching Monday Nitro now instead of Raw if that happened. Likewise, if WWE had stiff competition today, if TNA were actually a major threat to WWE’s ratings and viewership, then we would not be headed towards Reigns vs. Lesnar at Mania. WWE would be forced to pay attention and give us the ultimate David vs. Goliath story in Bryan vs. Lesnar, regardless of what Vinnie Mac wants to see. But since WWE is without competition, we will continue to see the big guys get pushed over the talented guys, and the company men in the main events while the legitimately popular stars put over other guys in the undercard.

[thelowblow]

[Retro Review] WWF Wrestlemania X8

Toronto, Canada Approx 68,000 in attendance Champions: WWF Undisputed Champion: Chris Jericho WWF Intercontinental Champion: William Regal WWF European Champion: Diamond Dallas Page WWF Women's Champion: Jazz WWF Tag Team Champions: Billy & Chuck WWF Hardcore Champion: Maven WWF Cruiserweight Champion: Tajiri The show opens with Saliva performing "Superstar". They used to be my favourite band, but now in my mid-twenties, they're kind of lost on me. Still, they had the whole metal meets modern rock thing that was kind of popular in the early 00's, so I sort of understand the appeal. WWF Intercontinental Championship William Regal (c) vs. Rob Van Dam Can't remember how this match came about, I assume RVD won a #1 contenders match or something. Either way, it came after a string of pretty average matches between Regal and Edge, and the WWE just having no clue what to do with RVD.  RVD gets a big pop from the crowd. Fun fact: this is Rob Van Dam's Wrestlemania debut. RVD starts the match with some forearms and nails a spinning heel kick followed by a standing moonsault. Regal resorts to the brass knuckles early, but RVD kicks them out of his hand and they go flying to ringside. Kind of cool opening. Regal begs for mercy, but RVD gives him a dropkick instead. He goes up top for the early Five Star Frog Splash, but Regal avoids it then takes control with a brutal running knee to the head. Regal hits a vertical suplex and a nasty looking arm trap neckbreaker that RVD sells like death. He locks in a strait jacket, but RVD fights out of it and nails a superkick, but he misses the Rolling Thunder. Regal hits the Tiger Bomb for two, then tries for the Regal Stretch, but RVD counters with a small package. RVD counters a second Tiger Bomb attempt and hits a monkey flip out of the corner. He goes for his step over heel kick, but Regal catches him mid-move and nails a crazy half nelson suplex. Regal retrieves the brass knuckles and brings them back into the ring but the ref takes them from him. Regal grabs another set from his tights but walks into a spinning heel kick and eats the Five Star Frog Splash for the win at 6:19. I thought it was a really good match, although others thought it was so-so. To me it's a very solid opener. Regal's a technical brawler while RVD's got a more fast paced highflying style, so it was interesting to see how their styles meshed together. RVD sold well for Regal, and Regal stepped up his pace for RVD. Rating: 7/10 Lillian Garcia interviews Christian backstage about his match. He gets some cheap heat by trash talking Canada and mentions that he's past his temper tantrums, he's in touch with his emotions now. WWF European Championship Diamond Dallas Page (c) vs. Christian Christian immediately stomps DDP as he enters the ring. They botch an Irish whip. DDP hits a delayed gutwrench gutbuster. He keeps the offense on Christian with mounted punches in the corner, but Christian hits a low blow that the ref somehow missed. They brawl around the ring a bit and DDP tries to crotch Christian on the turnbuckle post, but DDP ends up going face first into the post instead. Christian goes up top but DDP slams him off. Christian counters a back suplex and attempts the Unprettier, but DDP reverses into a Diamond Cutter, but Christian shoves DDP into the corner instead. DDP tries for a second Diamond Cutter, but Christian counters again with a reverse DDT for the near fall. DDP gets a small package for two. Christian then walks into the Diamond Cutter to end the match at 6:08. DDP gets on the mic after the match and rubs it in that Christian just lost in front of 68,000 fans, leading to Christian throwing a temper tantrum. The match was alright but far from anything special. WWE really missed the boat with DDP in WWE. DDP was over in WCW, but WWE just crushed him with awful gimmicks and horrendously bad storylines to the point that the former two-time WCW World Champion ends up at the bottom of the card fighting for a meaningless strap like the European title. The temper tantrum nonsense definitely didn't do Christian any favours either. But eh, at least DDP got a bit of a Wrestlemania moment out of it. Rating: 5/10 The Rock has a hyped up interview with Coach backstage where he makes him pray. Coach starts his prayer with "whaddup G", leading to hilarious shenanigans. Actually this was funny to me when I was twelve, but it doesn't make the twenty-five-year-old me laugh so much. WWF Hardcore Championship Hardcore Rules Maven (c) vs. Goldust Goldust immediately brings some gold weapons in the ring. The WWE Network has this awful theme dubbed over Maven's original kickass theme, and it sounds terrible. Like a ringtone someone crapped out in Guitar Pro.  Goldust immediately knocks Maven off the apron and hurls him into the barricade. He cracks a baking tray over his back then sets up a gold trash can in the ring. He tries to catapult Maven into it, and Maven either botches it or he no sells it. He then throws the trash can to Goldust who catches it and Maven botches a dropkick.  Goldust comes back with a vertical suplex, then a front suplex. He brings a golden shovel in and kicks it into Maven's chest. He whips Maven into a trash can in the corner of the ring before inexplicably leaving the ring to get a trash can lid at ringside, despite the various weapons in the ring. Maven picks up his own trash can lid from in the ring and they both knock each other out at the same time. Spike Dudley runs into the ring with a referee and pins Maven to win the Hardcore title at 3:15. Crash Holly, Goldust and Maven all chase Spike through the crowd. Bad, bad match. Absolutely no psychology or storytelling, just Goldust whailing on the newbie with gold painted weapons for a couple of minutes. I know they wanted their Tough Enough Champion all over the product to hype up the next season of Tough Enough, but man, Maven was way too green to be booking on Wrestlemania.  Rating: 2/10 Drowning Pool plays "Tear Away" to tell the story of the main event title match that we will be seeing several hours from now. Cool? Backstage, Crash Holly is beating up Spike Dudley. Al Snow comes speeding in on a golf buggy type thing and crashes into a wall full of empty boxes that was conveniently stacked there for the purpose of Al Snow crashing through it. The Hurricane swings in and knocks down Spike, then pins him to become the new Hardcore Champion. Kane vs. Kurt Angle Kurt Angle cuts an awesome promo before the match, insulting Canada's Olympians. He calls himself the Big Red, White and Blue Machine. Awesome stuff. Kane cuts his promo short. Before the match even starts, Angle hits Kane over the head with the ring bell. I GUESS YOU COULD SAY HE JUST RANG HIS BELL HAHAHAHAHA.  Angel focuses on the head with right hands. He hits a German suplex. Kane comes back with a Hangman Choke and tries for the Chokeslam but Angle latches onto the ropes. Angle hits a belly-to-belly suplex and maintains control with suplexes and clotheslines. He gets a front facelock. Kane powers out and hits a sidewalk slam. Angle counters a suplex into a triple German suplex before going up to the top rope and hitting a flying clothesline. He goes back to the well for another top rope clothesline but Kane catches him with a right hand. Back body drop and a powerslam by Kane for two. Angle runs into a Chokeslam but he manages to get a rope break before the three count. Kane looks for a Tombstone Piledriver, but Angle slips out and hits the Angle Slam for a near fall. Angle gets the Ankle Lock. Kane hits an enziguiri to counter. He goes up top but Angle hits a running belly-to-belly superplex. Kane counters a second Angle Slam attempt into a Chokeslam attempt, but Angle reverses with a shoddy looking roll up. He puts his feet on the ropes to secure the win at 10:45. Of all the wrestling matches I've seen, this was definitely one of them. Rating: 5/10 The Hurricane has an awkward run-in with The Godfather's ho train backstage. No Disqualifications  Ric Flair vs. The Undertaker The crowd still pops for Taker like he's a babyface, despite how brattily he was being booked at the time. And I really hate Taker's Limp Bizkit entrance. It just doesn't suit him, even as Bikertaker. Flair opens up with punches and controls the first moment with right hands, slugging Taker around the ring. Flair tries to dive on him from the apron, but Taker catches him and rams him into the turnbuckle post. Taker beats on him some more in and out of the ring. Flair botches the old flip over the ropes spot in the corner, they have to go back and repeat it. It works a second time and Taker boots Flair to the floor. Flair gets busted open at ringside. Taker brings Flair back in the ring and hits a massive top rope superplex for a near fall. Taker hits the leg drop on the apron for two. Taker goes Old School, but Flair whips him off the ropes. Taker hits a sidewalk slam. He goes for a big boot, but gets crotched over the top rope instead. Flair retrieves a lead pipe from ringside and cracks it over Taker's head, busting him open. Flair beats on Taker with a steel sign. Taker tries a Chokeslam in the ring, but Flair hits a low blow and locks in the Figure Four Leg Lock. Taker looks like he's going to pass out, but then he sits out and throws his hand over Flair's throat and nails a Chokeslam for a near fall. Frustrated, Taker rams the ref into the corner before grabbing the lead pipe. Arn Anderson makes an appearance and nails Taker with a spinebuster, giving Flair a near fall. I don't understand the purpose of ref bumps in no DQ matches other than to establish that The Undertaker is a dick. Taker takes his anger out on Arn Anderson, busting him open too because there isn't enough blood in the ring. He puts Arn into a Dragon Sleeper, but Flair comes in with multiple chair shots. Taker boots Flair down and tries for the Last Ride, but Flair seems to be sandbagging himself. Taker decides "fuck it, it's Wrestlemania" and hits the Tombstone Piledriver instead for the win at 18:47. Undertaker punches the ref again after the match, in case we didn't already know that he's a dick. Sort of rough in places, and it was basically a twenty-minute brawl. But that was the point of it and the rough no holds barred street fight feel matched up with the storyline that they built it around. Far from Taker's (and Flair's) best Wrestlemania match, but also far from his worst too. This put Taker at 10-0, and at this point in time, people were starting to accept that Undertaker doesn't lose at Wrestlemania as the streak was gradually becoming a thing, although it wasn't so openly discussed in storylines and whatnot. Rating: 7/10 Michael Cole interviews Booker T backstage. He's wearing a pair of glasses. "I am a highly intelligent man, I got glasses don't I?" He actually cuts a legit funny promo. Booker T vs. Edge Edge gets a big hometown babyface pop. Fun fact: this is the first match of the night that actually starts with a lock up. Booker powers Edge into the ropes and they trade blows. They do the old shoulder block + leap frog spot, Edge comes out with a dropkick into a half nelson bulldog thing. Booker comes back with a missile dropkick for two. Edge then runs into a huge spinebuster, Alabama Slam style. They both botch a frankensteiner in the corner. Booker tries for the Scissor Kick but Edge counters it into the Edge-O-Matic for two. Edge hits a top rope spinning heel kick for two. Booker then leap frogs over a spear attempt and connects with a super kick before delivering a Wrestlemania grade spinaroonie. Booker lands the Scissor Kick but only gets two, and not enough of a big deal is made out of Edge kicking out of that. Edge reverses a Book End attempt with an arm drag and hits the spear for a near fall. Edge then decides to treat us to his awful version of the spinaroonie. Booker and Edge have a bit of a chain of counter moves leading into the Edgecution for the win at 6:32. It was okay. Like a lot of the matches on this card, it was just a thrown together meaningless match without much build up. They were wrestling over a shampoo commercial, not exactly anything for us to get invested in.  Rating: 6/10 Backstage, Mighty Molly betrays The Hurricane with a frying pan to the back of the head for the win, becoming the Hardcore title. So long Molly's wholesome babyface superhero sidekick run, time for Molly's evil bitch heel run. I liked her better as the latter. Scott Hall with Kevin Nash vs. Stone Cold Steve Austin Austin of course gets a major pop. Hall and Nash get boo'd. Austin unloads on Hall in the corner and nails him with a back elbow. Lou Thesz Press and the pointed elbow. Hall bails from the ring and Austin pursues, he ends up nailing Nash in the back of the head. Hall takes control with a back body drop and a clothesline in the ring. Hall sends Austin into an exposed turnbuckle before being sent ringside for Nash to beat on him for a bit. Hall gets a fall away slam in the ring for two. Austin comes back with a spinebuster but doesn't immediately capitalize. Hall then walks into a Stone Cold Stunner but Nash drags the referee out and decks him. Nash slugs Austin down. Austin low blows him and delivers Stunners on both Hall and Nash. A new ref runs to the ring but Nash drops an elbow on him. Hall goes for the Razor's Edge, but Austin back drops him to ringside. A group of referees rushes out and forces Nash to leave as Scott Hall hits Stone Cold with his own Stunner for a near fall. He goes for a second Stunner, but Austin shoves him into the corner and hits him with a double Stunner for the win at 9:51. Razor Ramon vs. Steve Austin in the mid 90s would have been good, but by 2002 Hall was pretty washed up and Austin was pretty banged up, so this match sucked. It was largely punches and kicks and the crowd didn't overly come alive until Austin started throwing out Stunners. No one Austin walked out shortly after this. Rating: 4/10 We're treated to a video for Wrestlemania Access/Axxess/Acxess(?) and it drags way too long. WWF Tag Team Championship Four Corner Elimination Match Billy & Chuck (c) vs. The APA vs. The Dudley Boyz with Stacy Keibler vs. The Hardy Boyz Saliva plays The Dudleyz to the ring. Stacy looks pretty damn fine in The Dudley get up. The APA get a bit of a meh reaction, coming out following a live performance. The Hardyz get a big pop while Billy and Chuck give us their best impression of a homosexual couple in 2002. Bradshaw and Chuck start off with some brawling. Billy comes in and runs into a fall away slam. Back suplex to Chuck and Faarooq is tagged in. Chuck hits a discus punch and tags Billy who misses a Fameasser and runs into a powerslam. Billy tags D-Von and Bradshaw gets tagged in. Dudleyz try and 3D Bradshaw but Bradshaw boots D-Von down and Faarooq hits a spinebuster on Bubba. Bradshaw hits a disgusting Clothesline from Hell on Billy before walking into the 3D to get eliminated. The Hardyz run in and beat on everyone for a second. Double back drop on Bubba and a double DDT on Chuck. The Dudleyz set up a table at ringside. Jeff hits a plancha on Bubba. Whisper in the Wind connects in the ring. Stacy gets on the apron and shows off the goods to Jeff. Jeff spanks her and plants a kiss on her before shoving her off the apron. Jeff tries to victory roll Bubba, but Chuck goes up top and hits a Doomsday Device. Bubba nails Billy with the Bubba Bomb before working on Jeff in the corner with chops and punches. The Dudleyz work over Jeff for a good long while until D-Von tries the Saving Grace on Jeff, but he counters into a rough looking reverse DDT. Jeff makes the hot tag to Matt. He DDTs Bubba and sends D-Von to ringside and knocks Billy and Chuck off the apron. He lands the leg drop from the second rope on Bubba for two. The Dudleyz try the old "What's Up" headbutt, but Billy shoves D-Von off the top rope and he crashes into the table at ringside. Twist of Fate and Swanton Bomb finishes off Bubba in the ring leaving on The Hardyz and the champions in the ring. Matt hits Billy with the Side Effect and both Billy and Chuck eat some Poetry in Motion. Twist of Fate and Swanton Bomb on Chuck, but Billy comes in with the Fameasser on Jeff. Matt and Billy both go tumbling to ringside as Chuck goes for the pin but only gets two. He yells at the ref for a bit while Billy sneaks in and nails Jeff with a belt shot to the head. Chuck goes for the pin and wins the match at 13:50. I didn't overly have fun. I find that big matches like these often get cluttered and hard to follow. It was a bit of a clusterfuck in some parts, and completely dull and boring in other parts as the Dudleyz isolating Jeff dragged on too long. The ending was a bit dumb as well. Might as well have had Jeff stay down for the Fameasser if he's going to get pinned in a few seconds time again anyway. Rating: 4/10 Scott Hall and Kevin Nash are angry backstage and they're going to take their frustrations out on The Rock tonight. Hogan rocks up and asks them not to interfere as he needs to see if he can beat The Rock on his own. Meanwhile, Molly runs into a door and Christian pins her for the Hardcore title. "Hollywood" Hulk Hogan vs. The Rock The arena goes absolutely nuts for Hogan and everything Hogan does down to the shirt tearing off. The crowd is solidly in Hogan's corner while The Rock gets a John Cena-esque reaction as half the crowd boo and the other half cheer. Duelling "Rocky" and "Hogan" chants as both men just stand and soak in the moment. They lock up and Rock tries to power Hogan into the corner, but Hogan shows off his immense strength by throwing The Rock to the canvas and the crowd eats it up. Hogan hits a shoulder block and does some more posing. He goes low with a knee to the ribs and throws out some haymakers followed by a big clothesline. Hogan goes for a second clothesline but The Rock ducks and lands a flying clothesline, and the audience boos like he's Shawn Michaels in Montreal.  Hogan and Rock get into a shoving contest and Rock throws out a few big right hands. Hogan botches the tumble over the ropes and just slides under the bottom rope instead. They brawl around at ringside a bit. He tries for the Rock Bottom in the ring but Hogan elbows his way out of it. Hogan goes to town on Rock with some elbow drops and clotheslines. Rock comes back with a spear and mounted punches. Hogan hits a back suplex and locks in an abdominal stretch. He transfers into a roll up for two. He resorts to back rakes like a heel from the 60s. He bites Rock in the corner. Hogan does something of a boss man slam before choking Rock with his wrist tape. They brawl back to ringside where Hogan dismantles the announce table, but Rock pounds his head into it and goes to end the match with a chair shot, but the referee snatches the chair out of his hand. Hogan hits a clothesline. Hogan sends The Rock into the referee in the ring and Rock nails a spinebuster. He locks in the Sharpshooter and that really riles up the Canadian audience. Hogan makes it to the ropes but the ref is still down out. He taps out instead, still no referee. Rock lets go and tries to wake up the ref. Hogan hits a low blow and a Rock Bottom of his own for a near fall. Hogan takes his belt off and snaps it over The Rock's back. The Rock comes back with a DDT and gives Hogan the same treatment with the belt. The Rock poises and lands the Rock Bottom and goes for the pin, but Hogan aggressively kicks out and starts Hulking Up as the audience goes mental. Hogan hits the big boot and lands the leg drop but only gets two. He goes for another big boot but he misses the second leg drop. Rock hits two straight Rock Bottoms and ends the match with The People's Elbow at 16:23. After the match, Hogan and Rock shake hands. The nWo enter the ring as Rock leaves and they decide to beat down on Hogan. Rock runs back in to save the day and clean house. Rock and Hogan then pose together. At its core, this was an average match. It wouldn't have worked with any other pair of wrestlers. But really, this was Hogan's best match during his 2002 "comeback" tour, if you will. And this match never needed to be a five star technical masterpiece. The atmosphere and build up made this match what it was and the live crowd ate it all up. It was a fun match to watch and entertaining as hell. Rating: 8/10 At WWF New York, The Big Show is mingling with the fans.  WWF Women's Championship Triple Threat Match Jazz (c) vs. Lita vs. Trish Stratus Jazz gets a non-reaction except for the one dude with a Jazz sign in the crowd, but he might just really dig the music. Lita and Trish both get decent pops and Trish is decked out like Miss Canada tonight. Lita and Jazz go at it before Trish is even in the ring. Trish runs in and throws Jazz down. Jazz knocks both of them down and gets a Half Boston Crab on Trish, but quickly releases it and attacks Lita with the Bitch Clamp and a big leg drop for two. Jazz hits a dobule arm suplex on Lita and kicks Trish out of the ring. Monkey flip into mounted punches. Lita nails a flying head scissors and a spinning back suplex for two. Lita gets propped up on the top rope and Trish comes in and gets Jazz into an electric chair position and you think that they might go for some kind of doomsday device/move that involves all three of them, but Jazz lands on her feet and Lita just sits there on the top rope for a little while longer. Trish rolls up Jazz for two and Lita comes off with a crossbody on Trish for two. Trish comes back with a Chick Kick and a bulldog on Lita for two. Jazz hits Trish with a fisherman suplex and Lita breaks up the pin. Trish hits Jazz with a reverse DDT and goes for the pin, but Lita drags Trish off. Trish and Lita then get into a face off and argue like "what the hell, as if you wouldn't let me pin her and win the title?" Lita tries for a Twist of Fate, but Trish shoves her into Jazz. She hits Jazz with a Twist of Fate instead. She scoop slams Trish and goes up for a moonsault, but Trish gets her knees up for two. Meeting of the minds and everyone is down. Trish and Jazz are back up and Trish gets a backslide for two. Trish tries for the Stratusfaction on Lita, but she throws Trish into the corner and she gets tangled up in the ropes. Lita gets crotched on the top rope and Jazz hits a fisherman superplex for the win at 6:16. Bad match. There was no real flow to it. This was when Trish was still making that epic transition from sexy model to legitimate wrestler, and Lita was hella sloppy, and Jazz couldn't hold it together. Add to the fact that they were following Hulk Hogan vs. The Rock and this match was always doomed. JR says "This thing resembled a car wreck," which is his way of saying "what a shit match". Rating: 1/10 Christian is in the car park loading his stuff into a taxi when Maven sneaks up with a referee and rolls Christian up for the win. He takes the Hardcore title and jumps into the taxi. We only got five title changes with the Hardcore belt tonight. WWF Undisputed Championship Chris Jericho (c) with Stephanie McMahon vs. Triple H Drowning Pool plays Triple H out to the ring, and they sound like crap live. Then again, WWE never does great sound jobs with their live bands. The guitars sound so sludgey and the vocals are too far forward. Trips has his left quad taped up tonight. Lock up and Jericho immediately targets the leg. Trips pounds his way out of the corner and hits a short arm clothesline. He hits a high knee but then sells the leg. Jericho back drops him to ringside. Jericho goes up top, but Triple H throws him from the apron into the crowd. He suplexes him back over the barricade. He dismantles the Spanish announce table. Jericho kicks the leg a bunch of times, forcing Triple H to retreat into the ring. Jericho hits a chop block, but Triple H decides to start working over Jericho's leg. He gets the Figure Four Leg Lock but Stephanie climbs onto the apron and rakes Triple H's eyes. Triple H grabs Steph on the apron and Jericho accidentally spears her. Jericho tumbles to ringside and Trips drags Steph into the ring. He tries for a Pedigree but Jericho comes off the top with a missile dropkick. He works the leg against the turnbuckle post a bit, and Steph gives the leg a few kicks while the ref isn't watching. Jericho hits some knee breakers in the ring and gets a Figure Four over the turnbuckle post, brutal. Jericho tries for a Figure Four in the ring, but Trips shoves him into the ring post. He hits the facebuster but then sells the leg. He botches a spinebuster, forcing them to go back and repeat the spot for two. They end up at ringside again and they dismantle King and JR's announce table. Jericho tries for the Walls of Jericho on the table, because apparently that's somehow a million times worse than in the ring. Triple H avoids it though and tries to Pedigree Jericho through the table, but he counters and back body drops Trips through the Spanish announce table. He brings him into the ring with a Lionsault and gets a two. Trips tries for a Pedigree, but Jericho counters into the Walls of Jericho. Triple H nearly passes out but he fights through it! Damn that would have been a ballsy finish. Trips gets to the ropes. Jericho gets a steel chair from ringside. The ref is distracted with Stephanie. Triple H boots the chair in Jericho's face and DDTs him over the chair for the near fall. Steph comes in and grabs the chair, but the ref snatches it from her. Triple H then hits her with a Pedigree. Jericho nails Triple H with a chair shot to the head for another near fall. He tries for a Pedigree of his own, but Triple H blocks it with a catapult into the corner. Jericho lands on the second rope and jumps off into a Pedigree from Triple H for the win at 18:41. Triple H can fight through a torn quad, table spot, lionsault, Walls of Jericho and a chair shot, but Jericho will always fall victim to one lone Pedigree.  In all honesty, this wasn't a great match. I feel like Jericho and Trips had better matches on TV. That's not necessarily poking holes in this match, but more to compliment how good some of their Raw matches were back in the day. Triple H was just bad in the ring after his injury, and Jericho was forced to carry him here. Considering this match was always only ever going to be Triple H selling the leg, it probably shouldn't have gone on as long as it did. I would have preferred that they shorten this match to like 11 or 12 minutes and maybe give some more time to some of the undercard matches.  Another issue was the storyline and the fact that this was probably one of the most predictable Mania matches ever. Triple H came back from the sidelines after a good nine months or so while Jericho was never booked as anything remotely resembling a credible champion. They booked him how they saw him - as a midcard heel who needed an incredible amount of rule breaking and outside interference in order to win his matches. And the fact that they paired him with Stephanie really bothered me. Jericho and Stephanie had such a contentious rivalry in '01, but because Jericho's a heel now, he's going to align himself with Stephanie? More to the point, the main storyline was focused on Triple H and Stephanie and Jericho always felt like more of an afterthought. People look back on Jericho's Undisputed title reign as something of a failure, but you really can't blame Jericho. He worked hard during this time, the booking and creative just absolutely dropped the ball with him.  And finally, this match should not have main evented. I know this was a time when the Rumble winner would generally always be in the main event, but let's be honest. Hogan and Rock was the real main event here, everything after it was fighting an uphill battle to maintain the audience's interest.  At the end of the day, this wasn't an abysmal match, it just wasn't as good as it should have been considering the potential that was in the ring. Rating: 6/10 Wrestlemania X8 was a one match show. Sure, Undertaker and Flair was something I guess, and people were at least somewhat interested in Jericho and Triple H, but really this show was build around Hogan versus Rock, and that's what people will remember this Wrestlemania for. It still baffles my mind that they would book their most popular wrestler in a midcard match against Scott Hall, but then again it looks like the current most popular wrestler is going to be in a midcard match at Wrestlemania 31 now, so I guess things don't really change in WWE.  The undercard was fairly lacklustre. Aside from the diva's match though, there was nothing appalling, there was just a lot of 'meh' matches that were thrown together without much thought. It felt like a four hour edition of Raw in some places, as opposed to the biggest card of the year. Nevertheless, Rock and Hogan do make the event feel somewhat special and it's historically probably worth watching this show at least for their match. Overall Rating: 5/10

[thelowblow]

[Review] WWE Royal Rumble 2015

Philadelphia, PA Approx 17,000 in attendance Announce Team: Michael Cole; Jerry Lawler; JBL Champions WWE World Heavyweight Champion: Brock Lesnar WWE Intercontinental Champion: Bad News Barrett WWE United States Champion: Rusev WWE Diva's Champion: Nikki Bella WWE Tag Team Champions: The Usos Here it is, my full review of this show. I’ve gotten all my angries out of the system, but I’ll still have a bit to say about how things went down. The Ascension vs. The New Age Outlaws Road Dogg gets the fans well hyped up. They hang onto his entire prematch schtick. It actually feels like an Attitude Era gig at the moment. The camera man seems to be a little off for The Ascension’s entrance. Awkward. Billy Gunn and Viktor start things off with the old leap frog + hip toss routine. Billy gets the upperhand with an arm bar and the crowd chants “you still got it”. Road Dogg gets tagged in, and so is Konnor. It’s not long before Road Dogg is overpowered in the corner. Viktor gets a chin lock on Road Dogg for a bit. Road Dogg fights out but takes a knee to the gut. Konnor gets tagged in and he throws on another chin lock as the crowd is quickly dying a slow death. Konnor misses an elbow drop and tags Viktor in and he goes straight back into the chin lock, seriously? Road Dogg counters and gets the hot tag to Billy. He comes in fired up with clotheslines and tilt-a-whirl slams. He tries for the Fameasser on Viktor but misses and gets stungunned by Konnor (who makes a blind tag). The Ascension hit The Fall of Man and get the three count at 5:25. Boring as hell, most of the match was made up of rest holds. I know Road Dogg is at least a solid decade or two past his prime, but he doesn’t need to spend half the match in a chin lock – especially not in a tag team match. Probably not the best match to open the show. The Ascension had a good thing going in NXT, but creative has just killed them with this recycled gimmick and they sound exactly like the prototypical buff angry wrestler, screaming into microphones about how angry and strong they are. That shit doesn’t fly in 2015. This team needs more depth, and they need to be let loose in the ring a bit more too. At the very least they’ve beaten a team with some credibility now as opposed to the jobbers of the week. Rating: 2/10 We get an ad for WWE Immortals. I don’t know, the game looks a bit corny, and I’m not big on mobile gaming. I’d check it out if it were on PC. Apparently Triple H will be Stone Cold’s guest on the podcast next week, actually should be good. Backstage, Triple H and Stephanie are sooking about Sting. Paul Heyman shows up to put forth Brock Lesnar as a solution to Sting. Is this them planting seeds towards a Sting vs. Brock Lesnar match? I doubt it as we’re 100% headed for Sting vs. Triple H, but still, not sure I like it. WWE Tag Team Championship The Usos (c) vs. The Miz & Mizdow The usual heel reaction for Miz and babyface reaction for Mizdow. I feel like the crowd are also kind of against The Usos here, purely out of how much they're into Mizdow. Miz and Jey start off amidst loud "we want Mizdow" chants. Miz beats on Jey in the corner and shouts some things at the audience. Mizdow mimicks everything Miz does on the apron. Jey hits a backbreaker and Jimmy comes in with an awkward splash that's a bit botched.  Miz hits the big clothesline in the corner and goes up top, but Jimmy crotches. Mizdow crotches himself on the top turnbuckle as well. Miz dives at Jimmy but gets caught with a right hand. Mizdow jumps off and sells in the same manner as The Miz. Miz gets a chin lock and teases tagging in Mizdow, but he pulls back before every tag. He hits the reverse backbreaker + neckbreaker combo and again hints at tagging Mizdow, but he doesn't do it. Jimmy hits an enziguiri and makes a hot tag to Jey. Jey comes in with a samoan dro and the running butt splash in the corner. Mizdow gets sidestepped over the top rope and Miz rolls Jey up for two.  Miz hits a snap DDT on Jey Uso for the near fall. He tries for the Figure Four, but Jey counters and hits a Pele Kick. Miz rolls out of the ring with Mizdow. Jimmy hits a big plancha over the top rope and Miz shoves Mizdow in the way. Jey then dives over the top with a senton plancha and sort of hits Miz, although in classic Miz fashion he completely fails to catch him. I imagine Miz got a talking to backstage. Miz hits the Skullcrushing Finale on Jey for a near fall. Jey hits a super kick and the splash from the top rope but Mizdow breaks up the pin. Mizdow hits the Skullcrushing Finale on Jey, but he once again kicks out at two. Mizdow gets kicked to ringside as Miz tries for a superplex on Jey. Jey counters with a sunset flip powerbomb as Jimmy hits a top rope splash for the win at 9:20. A fine match but it’s nothing new given that we’ve seen Miz & Mizdow face The Usos for months now. It was okay but the final exchange could have been a bit exciting. Things seemed to die down after the second Skullcrushing Finale, when it probably should have kept going. Rating: 6/10 J&J are backstage and essentially plug the WWE Immortals game. Rollins walks in all fired up. He says he wanted Noble and Mercury focused on Cena and Lesnar tonight. Seth Rollins says he’s tired of hearing about the future, he says that he is the ‘right now’. The Bella Twins vs. Natalya & Paige I’m digging the green getup that the Bellas are wearing. So is Paige a babyface now? I’m really not keeping track. I don’t get these diva storylines. Nikki hits a few European uppercuts on Paige to start the match. Paige tags out to Natalya and they hit a double arm wringer into a double snapmare for two. Natalya works the arm and Nikki reverses it with an arm drag. Brie gets tagged in and they start working Natalya's arm. Natalya overpowers Brie into the babyface corner and tags Paige. They hit a massive delayed vertical suplex for a near fall.  Brie hits a dropkick and goes to town on Nattie. They do some awkward move that sees both of them fall over, and Brie goes for the pin but gets two. The heels work over Natalya with chin locks and a few bland moves. Nikki gets a head scissors locked in. Natalya powers her way to her feet and hits an electric chair drop. Nikki counters a Sharpshooter attempt and then misses a clothesline in the corner. Natalya does the slow crawl to the corner to tag Paige, but Brie pops up at ringside and trips Paige off the apron. Nikki hits Natalya with a forearm and gets the win at 8:04. It felt like this match was going somewhere. There were some awkward botches, and Brie is really the weak link in this match, she can’t lead a match too well. Nikki on the other hand is doing well and I’d kind of like to see Nikki face Natalya and Paige some more maybe in some singles matches. The end was super anticlimactic though. Seriously, Nikki has a legit impressive finisher with the Rack Attack. The forearm just looks weak as a finisher. I also don't understand the booking here. This was a Raw grade match. The babyfaces could have easily gone over here without Nikki losing any momentum. It was such a weird and cheap finish that doesn't feel like it was thought through.  Rating: 5/10 Some wrestlers do some pretaped promos for the Rumble match. Roman Reigns says some stuff. Stardust and Goldust act weird. Rusev says he doesn’t care who the champion is, but he will crush him at Wrestlemania. Miz cuts a promo and Mizdow repeats everything he says, then mentions that he will win the Royal Rumble match, causing some awkwardness. Big Show talks about being a big, angry giant. Fandango says that the roster underestimates the sheer power of the tango. Remember when Fandango was kind of a big deal for a few weeks? Daniel Bryan starts a “yes” chant. WWE World Heavyweight Championship Triple Threat Match Brock Lesnar © vs. John Cena vs. Seth Rollins Super anti-Cena crowd tonight. They sing “John Cena sucks” in time with his entrance theme, it’s pretty hilarious. Awesome crowd! Rollins and Lesnar both get babyface reactions. Loud “Lesnar” chants. Lesnar chases Rollins out of the ring. Cena rushes Lesnar but Lesnar hits a German suplex. He hits a second German and Rollins rushes into the ring. Lesnar goes for an F5 but J&J save him. Lesnar thenh it’s a double German suplex on Noble and Mercury. Cena goes for the AA on Lesnar, but Cena counters and Rollins hits a kick on the apron. Lesnar drags Rollins into the ring. Lesnar hits a German suplex on Rollins and then on Cena. Lesnar with a vertical suplex on Cena and a German suplex on Rollins. That German looked disgusting. Another vertical suplex on Cena. “Let’s go Lesnar” shouts the crowd as he hits another suplex on Rollins. Lesnar gets the Kimuera Lock on Cena in the middle of the ring. Cena lifts Lesnar up and Rollins comes in with a springboard knee to Cena’s head. Rollins goes low on Lesnar with kicks to the knees. Lesnar knees Rollins in the ribs and Rollins and Cena hits Lesnar with a double suplex. Cena hits the AA and Rollins throws Cena out and goes for the pin but only gets a one count. Cena returns to the ring and Lesnar knees him down. Lesnar dumps Rollins to ringside and hits another suplex on Cena. Both men go outside of the ring. Lesnar follows. Rollins hits a running dropkick on Lesnar. Cena hits a low dropkick on Lesnar. Cena and Rollins return to the ring. Cena hits the five moves of doom! He goes for the Five Knuckle Shuffle, but Rollins tries to counter with a kick, which Cena reverses with an STF attempt. Rollins blocks it but Cena hits a back suplex. He goes for the Five Knuckle Shuffle again, but Lesnar slides in and hits a pair of German suplexes on Cena. Lesnar goes for another German, but Rollins hits a super kick on Lesnar. Cena hits a seated scoop slam on Rollins for two. Rollins hits an overhead neckbreaker from the second rope on Cena, Lesnar breaks up the pin. Cena pummels Lesnar and hits three big clotheslines before finally taking Lesnar off his feet. Rollins drags Cena to ringside. He goes up to the apron and dives on Lesnar, but he catches him with a huge F5. Cena breaks up the pin. Lesnar dismantles the Spanish announce table at ringside. He returns to the ring and takes three AAs in a row. He only gets two and Rollins drags Cena out of the ring before hitting a Curb Stomp and once again only gets a two count. “This is awesome!” says the audience. Cena charges Lesnar through the timekeeper’s barricade at ringside. “Holy shit” chant. Cena drives Lesnar into the steel steps. Lesnar gets set up on the Spanish announce table and Rollins hits a massive elbow drop from the top rope through Lesnar and the table. Crowd goes ballistic for it. Rollins gets a small package in the ring for two. He hits a super kick for two. Cena goes for an AA, but Rollins lands on his feet. Cena hits a sit down powerbomb for the near fall. Heyman is at ringside screaming for a doctor. Cena brings Rollins onto the turnbuckle and tries a superplex. Rollins counters with a sunsetflip followed by a powerbomb into the corner for a near fall. Rollins goes for the Curb Stomp, but Cena reverses into the STF. J&J interfere and beat on Cena. A stretcher comes out at ringside for Lesnar. Rollins hits the three-man powerbomb on Cena for a near fall. Cena hulks up and dumps Rollins out of the ring. He hits a double AA on Mercury and Noble. Rollins comes in with the MITB briefcase but Rollins catches him with an AA for the near fall. Cena and Rollins slug it out. Cena goes for the AA, Rollins counters and hits a spin kick. Cena goes for an AA, Rollins hits the Pele kick and hits the Curb Stomp for the near fall. Rollins goes up top and hits the Phoenix Splash! Lesnar returns to the ring and nails a brutal German suplex on Rollins, and hits a German on Cena. He goes for another German on Rollins, but Rollins lands on his feet and nails Lesnar twice with the briefcase. Rollins tries for the Curb Stomp but Lesnar catches him with an F5 for the win. Match of the year candidate. Phenomenal match. Rollins looked like a true main event star, Cena worked hard and Lesnar looked like an unstoppable monster. This match was excellent. I’m trying to think of something I disliked about it, but I actually just can’t. Rating: 10/10 We get an ad for next month's Fast Lane pay-per-view.  30-Man Royal Rumble Match Winner gets a WWE World Heavyweight Championship match at Wrestlemania 31 We've got 90 second intervals this year, not that the timing is ever all that accurate. #1 is The Miz and #2 is R-Truth. Clearly we haven't got Awesome Truth out of systems yet. I just can't take R-Truth seriously. The crowd wants Mizdow apparently. Truth sidesteps Miz to the apron. Miz slides back in and throws Truth to the apron. Truth returns but runs into a kick. Truth hits a corkscrew heel kick which looks quite flashy. He goes up top but Miz crotches him. #3 is Bubba Ray fucking Dudley. The crowd goes nuts (and so do I!), Bubba comes out in the old school camo gear with the taped up glasses like it's 1999. The building goes nuts on the "ECW" chants. Bubba hits a back body drop on Miz, then scoop slams him into position. He sees a black man on the top rope and figures "Hey, he'll do!" They do the old 'whassup' headbutt routine. Bubba tells Truth to get the tables, which means D-Von's not here tonight. The table is a non-event, but Truth and Bubba hit the 3D on Miz for a nice pop. Miz gets dumped out by Bubba. #4 is Luke Harper. Bubba throws R-Truth over the top rope. Harper and Bubba square off one on one. Bubba tries for the Bubba Bomb but Harper counters and hits a super kick. Bubba bounces back with a clothesline. #5 is Bray Wyatt. He quickly teams up with Harper as they go to town on Bubba. Harper gives Bubba a big boot before dumping him out of the ring. Man, that would have been a great opportunity for D-Von to come as the next entrant and make the save. Was D-Von not interested in this or was he never offered the spot? #6 is Curtis Axel. Erick Rowan quickly runs in and beats down Curtis Axel on the stage, because no one gives a fuck about him. Rowan gets in the ring, apparently wanting to mix it up with his former Wyatt Family brothers. Harper seems to feign siding with Rowan and it gets a nice "oh no he din't" kind of response from the crowd. But Harper is really a prick of a heel, and he and Wyatt beat on Rowan for a bit. Rowan comes back with some power moves for Bray and Harper, but then Wyatt eliminates both of them (even though Rowan was never in the match). #7 is The Boogeyman. Remember The Boogeyman? He seems to be foaming at the mouth as he smashes his clock over his head. Boogeyman seems impressed by Wyatt's spider walk routine. Wyatt quickly eliminates him. #8 is Sin Cara, and he actually gets boo'd. He hits a springboard crossbody but Wyatt soon hits Sister Abigail and dumps him out. Wyatt gets on the mic and cuts a bit of a promo about how this is Bray Wyatt's year and this is an open invitation. #9 is Zack Ryder, to answer the open invitation. The crowd pops big for him. He hits a missile dropkick and the Broski Boot in the corner, but Wyatt ends up sidestepping him out of the ring. #10 is Daniel Bryan. The roof basically explodes as everyone starts chanting "Yes". It's okay though, it's just the "Yes" chants that are over, it doesn't have anything to do with Bryan or anything. Bryan hits a bunch of dropkicks and a Frankensteiner on Wyatt. 

#11 is Fandango. He comes out with Rosa. He runs into the ring and goes straight for Bryan. He hits a nice dropkick. He tires a back suplex but Bryan lands on his feet and hits a side kick. Airplane spin by Bryan as he tries to dump Fandango out. Fandango fights out of it. #12 is Tyson Kidd. He hits a kick from the apron on Bryan followed by a springboard dropkick. He goes for Wyatt in the corner, but Fandango blindsides him. Kidd puts Fandango up on the top rope. Bryan dropkicks him and he falls into the tree of woe position. Kidd hits a dropkick to the face. Kidd and Bryan slug it out with kicks in the ring then take each other out with crossbodies. This kind of makes me want to see a Bryan vs. Kidd match. #13 is Stardust. Cole says this is Stardust’s first Royal Rumble. So… we’re just erasing Cody Rhodes’ history now? He hits a reverse DDT on Bryan and tries to side step Fandango over the ropes. Fandango skins the cat and tries to eliminate Stardust, but he skins the cat too. Bryan suplexes Kidd over the top rope. Bryan throws Bray through the ropes to ringside and he follows with a suicide dive through the ropes. Neither man is eliminated. #14 is Diamond Dallas Page! The crowd pops for him. He immediately gets stomped down by Stardust. He mocks DDP’s “bang” diamond sign. He picks DDP up. DDP counters a scoop slam into a Diamond Cutter. Fandango goes after DDP with mounted right hands. Fandango goes up top but DDP crotches him. DDP hits the Diamond Cutter from the second rope. Wyatt returns to the ring and beats DDP down. DDP ducks a right hand and hits another Diamond Cutter. #15 is Rusev. DDP looks gassed already. Rusev comes out with Lana who is brandishing the United States Championship. Rusev goes straight for DDP. DDP tries for a Diamond Cutter, but Rusev counters with a super kick before eliminating DDP. He eliminates Fandango. Bryan comes in with a top rope dropkick on Wyatt and Rusev. He kicks the shit out of both of them. Rusev throws Bryan to the apron and Wyatt knocks Bryan off the apron, eliminating him, and the fans boo the absolute shit out of this. #16 is Goldust. Dem Shattered Dreams, how ironic. Goldust goes after Rusev with a powerslam and an inverted atomic drop for Wyatt. The fans are still booing. Goldust tries for some Golden Globes on Wyatt in the corner, but Stardust intervenes by trying to eliminate Goldust. Goldust lands on the apron and returns, slapping Stardust. Stardust slaps him back and they slug it out. Goldust throws Stardust to the apron. Wyatt works on Goldust. “Daniel Bryan” chants from the crowd. They’re still booing. #17 is Kofi Kingston. Here’s someone the fans can take their frustrations out on. They all boo him, and I’ve never seen Kofi get boo’d like this before. He comes in with a crossbody on the Dust brothers and throws out some dropkicks. Wyatt catapults Kofi over the top rope but he skins the cat. Wyatt clotheslines him out to the apron. Kofi comes in with a springboard clothesline before pounding on Rusev in the corner. The crowd is still booing. “Daniel Bryan” chants continue amidst the booing. #18 is Adam Rose. So they eliminate the most popular wrestler active right now, then bring out a parade of their lowest shit grade wrestlers? The Rosebuds come out with Adam Rose. Rusev throws Kofi out and the Rosebuds catch him. Rusev brings Adam Rose back in. The Rosebuds help Kofi back into the ring. Rusev throws Adam Rose out, eliminating him, The Rosebuds don’t catch him though. Rusev throws Kofi back to the apron and eliminates him with a super kick. Goldust works on Wyatt and Stardust works on Rusev. #19 is Roman Reigns. Oh man, sucks to be him here. This crowd wants his blood. I would not be confident walking through that audience. The Dusts immediately beat on him. Roman uppercuts Goldust and clotheslines Stardust. Man, this crowd is booing Roman to oblivion. Samoan drop to Goldust and a tilt-a-whirl slam to Stardust. Roman eliminates the Dusts back to back. He brawls with Bray in the corner. But Wyatt and Rusev double team him. Roman hits a clothesline on Wyatt and an uppercut on Rusev. #20 is Big E. Do you hate this audience WWE? Do you want to be boo’d? Big E gets beaten down by Rusev. Big E hits a belly-to-belly on Rusev. Reigns tries to dump Wyatt out. Man, this crowd, so angry. #21 is Damien Mizdow. The Miz runs out and tells Mizdow that he’s taking his place and orders him to go to the back. Miz immediately gets knocked off the apron by Reigns. Mizdow looks conflicted between selling with Miz or entering the Rumble. He chooses the latter and hits a DDT on Wyatt. He hits a neckbreaker on Big E then does the ‘broken chains’ sign. Rusev then dumps Mizdow out for the elimination. Miz sits there, seething. Mizdow shrugs and goes back to his stunt double routine. Pretty funny stuff! #22 is Jack Swagger. He gets a nice babyface pop. He goes straight after Rusev with a powers lam. He boots Wyatt down. He hits the Swagger Bomb on Rusev in the corner before trying toe liminate him. Big E and Reigns brawl in the corner. This crowd has turned on this match. #23 is Ryback. Da Big Guy hits a spinebuster on Ruesv and a clothesline on Wyatt. Spinebuster for Swagger and a belly-to-belly suplex on Big E. Ryback hits a clothesline on Reigns and the crowd cheers the hell out of him for it. Meathook Clothesline for Ruesv. Wyatt beats on Ryback in the corner. “CM Punk” chants. #24 is Kane and nobody cares unfortunately. It doesn’t even look like Kane cares. He knocks down Ryback and has right hands for everyone. He tries to eliminate Ryback. Big E nearly has Swagger over the top rope. Rusev and Wyatt double team Reigns. #25 is Dean Ambrose, and the crowd comes alive again. He gets a Lou Thesz Press on Kane, then hits the exploder clothesline on Wyatt. Ambrose clotheslines Rusev. “Let’s go Ambrose” chants. Ambrose goes up top and hits something between an elbow and a crossbody on Kane. Ambrose tries to dump Rusev out. #26 is Titus O’Neil. No one cares, and the ones that do boo. Ambrose and Reigns immediately clothesline him, but he botches it a bit and it takes a second attempt to eliminate him.  Titus O’Neil leaves to “you fucked up” chants. Michael Cole confirms that Santino Marella’s record for fastest elimination is still intact. #27 is Bad News Barrett. Unfortunately he doesn’t have any bad news for us tonight. The fans are into him though. He doesn’t do much but punch everyone. He slugs it out with Ambrose and hits a boss man slam. “Daniel Bryan” chants fire up again. #28 is Cesaro. He goes straight for Kane. He hits European Uppercuts on everyone. Cesaro hits the Very European Uppercut on Ambrose, then he lifts him dead weight over the top, but Ambrose hangs on to the ropes. Rusev dumps Big E to the apron and dropkicks him out for the elimination. #29 is Big Show. “The mood just changed” says JBL. Correct, everyone’s bored now. Everyone in the ring rushes Big Show. He powers out and knocks everyone down. Kane hits a chokeslam on Ambrose, Show chokeslams Reigns. Kane and Show eliminate Ryback. Show eliminates Swagger. Rusev tries to eliminate Show but he fails. Kane chokeslams Rusev and he rolls out of the ring. #30 is Dolph Ziggler. The crowd pops big time for Ziggler. He rushes to the ring and immediately goes after Show with a super kick. He super kicks Kane and Wyatt. He hits a big double DDT on Kane and Big Show. He throws BNB to the apron and super kicks him out for the elimination. Cesaro hits the big swing on Ziggler with about 12 revolutions. Cesaro clotheslines Ziggler out to the apron. Ziggler drags Cesaro out. “Let’s go Ziggler.” They slug it out on the apron. Ziggler hits two super kicks on Cesaro, eliminating him. Ziggler returns to the ring and gets thrown to the apron by Kane. He goes up top and dives at Big Show, but he catches him with the KO punch. Big Show and Kane scoop up Ziggler and dump him out of the ring so unceremoniously. The fans hate this match now with a passion. Show and Kane unceremoniously dump Bray Wyatt out as well and the fans hate that too. Show, Kane, Ambrose and reigns face off in the ring. They rush them with right hands. Show and Kane try for chokeslams but they fight back. Reigns clotheslines Show down. Ambrose and Reigns try to eliminate Show but Kane arrives. He boots down Reigns. They work on Ambrose. Show delivers a massive chokeslam to Ambrose. They scoop him up and drop him out to ringside. Every person in the building seems to be booing this. Final Four: Rusev, Roman Reigns, Kane and Big Show The fans chant bullshit, and Show just laughs and nods, he seems to agree. Show and Kane stomp Reigns and try to eliminate him. Reigns fights back. Kane beats Reigns down. Kane starts to eliminate Reigns and Show sneaks up and looks to double cross Kane. “We want refunds” says thousands of fans. Kane and Show start shoving each other. They slug it out and start choking each other as Reigns shows up and throws both men out at the same time. The bell rings, but not everyone is eliminated yet. Kane and Big Show return to the ring to beat on Reigns. They give him a double chokeslam. “We want Rusev” says the crowd. The Rock’s theme hits and The Rock comes running out. The crowd pops for a moment and The Rock clotheslines Kane then throws rights at Big Show. The Rock gets a spinebuster on Kane followed by the People’s Elbow. Big Show tries a chokeslam but Rock hits a low blow and Reigns hits the Superman Punch. Rock Bottom on Big Show. The crowd is STILL booing. Rusev sneaks in and tries to eliminate Reigns, but Reigns hits a spear. Reigns points to the Wrestlemania sign before chucking Rusev out for the elimination. The fans boo the absolute hell out of this result. A scene shows Lesnar and Heyman watching a TV backstage. The Rock gets in the ring and The Rock shakes hands with Reigns, gives him a hug and raises his hand. The fans boo even harder. Triple H and Stephanie McMahon come out to the stage and watch on. Reigns points at the Wrestlemania logo again, ignoring the enormous crowd flipping him off and shouting obscenities at him. I liked the first half of the match. Bubba Ray and DDP were great surprises and I admittedly cheered pretty loud from my lounge chair when I saw Bubba make his comeback. As far as DDP goes, I’m just glad that Michael Cole didn’t mistake the Diamond Cutter for the RKO. I wouldn’t put it past him. I really dug how strong they tried to make Bray Wyatt look. He was a standout this year and I just liked that they had the balls to let the Rumble go several minutes with just Bray Wyatt doing his thing, which I find infinitely more entertaining than just filling the ring with bodies and having them blandly brawl in the corners of the ring. I can sort of understand the WWE’s logic – or at least what they were thinking – by having Bryan eliminated early. I assume the idea was that they eliminate Bryan early, let the fans boo for a minute or two, and then when Reigns comes out they can latch onto him and support him winning. Afterall, Roman Reigns actually gets reasonably positive reactions on TV. The problem is that there were only two conceivable winners in this year’s Rumble. And they were Daniel Bryan and Roman Reigns. People like Bryan more than Reigns. Why? Because they have a connection with Bryan. We’ve seen Bryan rise up from the indies and legitimately overcome the odds as an out of place “B+” wrestler culminating in him winning the main event of Wrestlemania XXX. The WWE knows Bryan is hot property. They’ve known for years. The thing is, they want to move on and start pushing someone else, they don’t see long term potential on Bryan and he isn’t marketable to them. Roman Reigns is The Rock’s cousin, he has a great look and is serviceable in the ring. They can market him and he’s still young. But the fans aren’t ready for him. Since The Shield broke up last year, we’ve seen Ambrose and Rollins flourish as singles wrestlers. They’ve come into their own and evolved, establishing themselves as major stars. Fans love hearing their promos because they’re great talkers, and they’re great in the ring, and their feud together was probably one of the best things about 2014. Roman Reigns hasn’t really developed much at all. He still comes out to The Shield music, wears The Shield get up, enters the arena like he’s still in The Shield. He hasn’t evolved, and he’s been given robotic and awkward scripts to use in his promos, and they do not help him. He doesn’t have the ability to really get himself over by talking. On top of that, we’ve only seen Roman Reigns have one major singles match, and that was against Randy Orton last year at SummerSlam. Granted the match wasn’t bad – but it was largely carried by Orton. Now you’ve got a guy who has very limited experience as a singles superstar and just looks like a moron every time he gets a microphone and you’re pushing him to the main event of the biggest event of the year against someone like Brock Lesnar? I can’t overstate how much is riding on this match now. There are so many questions in the air and WWE only have two months to get Roman Reigns prepared for Wrestlemania. And in between now and then, he has one major pit stop, which is Fast Lane. Apparently Big Show vs. Roman Reigns is slated for Fast Lane. Do you think Big Show is the kind of guy that Roman can prove himself with? Upon saying all this, there is some optimism here. WWE are finally ready to move onto the next generation. This is the second Wrestlemania in a row where John Cena hasn’t challenged for the world title. They’re putting new blood in the mix, a fresh face. Look at the roster, the guys we can look at and the feuds we can look forward to once Reigns finds his supposedly destined place as the face of the company. There’s Seth Rollins, Dean Ambrose, Rusev, Dolph Ziggler, Bray Wyatt, Daniel Bryan etc. There’s plenty of possibilities there. It’s all a matter of if we can make it to and past Wrestlemania without still thinking that Roman Reigns is not ready for this. And in all reality, I don’t think he is. Like I said in a previous post I think I made somewhere – they would have been better off postponing Roman Reigns’ big push for another year. Let 2015 be the year that Roman Reigns hones his skills as a wrestler and proves himself to us in upper midcard matches while you still give the fans what they want – Daniel Bryan at the top. People will buy Wrestlemania with Daniel Bryan as the main event. I think Brock Lesnar vs. Daniel Bryan could have had the potential to be the greatest David & Goliath story ever told in a wrestling ring, but instead we’re getting Reigns vs. Lesnar. There’s a chance that this might change before Mania, depending on how aggressively negative fans are towards Reigns between now and then. WWE might be stubborn and pigheaded and march forward with Reigns anyway. But at some point, they have to give the fans what they want, and WWE knew they wanted Bryan more than Reigns. Which is why we got The Rock rushing out to essentially give us his endorsement of Roman Reigns. If you need The Rock to validate someone winning a match, then should they be winning the match in the first place? I can’t fault WWE for wanting to freshen up their main event scene and push someone new – but I 100% can and will fault them for completely ignoring their fan and consumer base. As for the actual Rumble match itself, there was really not much else that happened in it. Miz and Mizdow didn’t really have the big implosion I was expecting. They built up some more tension to a degree, but they didn’t progress much, which says to me that they’re going for the slow burn towards Wrestlemania. I just hope the storyline can burn on that long. Kofi Kingston’s big moment wasn’t as jaw-droppingly impressive this year as previous years. It was still a cool moment though and I’m glad that they seem to be keeping up this tradition of Kofi Kingston Royal Rumble moments. Really though, the real way WWE fucked up here was the organization of everything. Daniel Bryan is out with an injury for 9-10 months, he comes back and gets eliminated after just a few minutes in the ring? Of course people are going to shit all over that. Could you imagine eliminating Triple H from the 2002 Royal Rumble only 10-minutes in, or eliminating Edge from the 2010 Rumble a few minutes in? Not only that, but then they proceed to have Kane and Big Show - two of the oldest and most irrelevant fucks on the active roster – stroll around the ring and eliminate all of the current crazy over babyfaces with ease. Oh, you like Dolph Ziggler? Too bad we’re going to punch him in the face and dump him out of the ring like a bag of trash. Hasn’t Bray Wyatt had a great showing in this match? Oh well, too bad it ends with us just picking him up and dropping him out. What’s that? Dean Ambrose and Roman Reigns are left? We’re not going to have any problem eliminating Dean Ambrose, but we’re going to struggle with Roman Reigns like nobody’s business. Having Ziggler come out at #30 was probably a mistake too. I like the #30 entrant to be a surprise, and Ziggler wasn’t a surprise. Ziggler coming out that late in the match led to the fans clinging on to him as the longshot last resort that maybe the WWE will let him break through the glass ceiling for once. But nope, he was eliminated in the most pathetic way possible. At the very least we didn’t get too many shitty joke entrants i.e. the midget wrestlers that Vince thinks are hilarious. Rating: 2/10 This Royal Rumble blew hard. I’ve talked enough about the Rumble match, but the undercard was mostly average. Seriously, if you count the preshow, they had four tag team matches. FOUR. How is that justifiable? The Ascension and Outlaws match was bad, while the tag title match and the diva match were average at best. The shining nugget in this shit encrusted crap show was the triple threat title match. It is the only reason you should consider watching this pay-per-view, unless you have a thing for watching WWE fans ruthlessly turn against the product. It just boggles my mind that not only did the WWE not learn from last year’s shitstorm, but that they actually somehow managed to produce an even worse show this year. Just wow. Overall Rating:  4/10

[thelowblow]

Royal Rumble 2015 Thoughts (+ Rant)

- I actually really liked the preshow tag match. Wasn't it supposed to be a six man tag? Is Adam Rose even a wrestler any more? Why is he hanging around Cesaro and Kidd? Is it something to do with Natalya?  I loved how over Cesaro was with the crowd. It would be good if WWE paid attention to the reactions these guys get. The match was pretty tight with some decent chain wrestling from Tyson Kidd and Cesaro hitting all of his awesome moves.  They really, really need to do something about New Day. I keep thinking that they're going to reveal something with them, that they were heels all along. And really, they are heels now, they get booed by the crowd - but for all the wrong reasons. The kiddies probably like them, but the majority of the audience see how transparent and goofy the act is. - The Kickoff panel shows a picture of The Rock in the arena, so they basically give away a major spoiler that The Rock will be making an appearance at some point in the night. WWE kind of blowing their wad too early there. - New Age Outlaws vs. The Ascension is average at the absolute best. I don't care about The Ascension. NXT Ascension were good. WWE Ascension is a joke and I don't look forward to their inevitable tag title run.  - Paul Heyman suggesting that Lesnar is the solution to their Sting problems makes me nervous. Do we want Lesnar vs. Sting now? Lesnar would likely kill Sting. - The third tag match of the night, for the tag titles, is nothing at all remotely new. We've seen so much Miz/Mizdow vs. The Usos ever since Miz and Mizdow started teaming up, there's just nothing fresh in that well. The match is serviceable in the same way that it would pass for a match on Raw or SmackDown, but you expect something more for a tag match on one of the biggest events of the year.  - The fourth tag match of the night is the diva match. Seriously, FOUR tag matches on one show? There's not a single standard one on one match in sight. I can understand why the other matches are tag matches, but not this one. The diva's champion competes in a non-title match on pay-per-view? I could understand it if the fans were gagging for the Bella Twins vs. Paige & Natalya implosion, but really I don't think anyone gives a shit. The match actually starts off okay and looks like it's headed somewhere, then Nikki hits a forearm and wins. Yep. I wouldn't even accept that on a house show. - Big Show cuts a promo and it's so two dimensional. I just cannot enjoy his character from any perspective given how frequently he flip flops between face and heel, and how his only motivation seems to be the old "angry giant" card. - The crowd is super anti-Cena, and both Lesnar and Rollins get the babyface treatment. I love their triple threat match. Lesnar's double German on Noble and Mercury at the start is awesome. The match is solid, doesn't feel slow at all and there's just a ton of drama excitement. I really bought a lot of the near falls, especially between Cena and Rollins. Rollins stood out here and proved that he belongs in the main event. For people who might complain about Rollins taking the pin here and not Cena - it was necessary. The whole story was that Rollins would likely cash in his MITB contract if he didn't win the match. Having Lesnar pin Cena means Rollins would probably have to cash in, and since they aren't ready for Rollins to win the strap, it makes sense to have him pinned, that way he doesn't cash in. - Miz and R-Truth start off the Rumble match. Remember Awesome Truth???  Entrant number 3 is Bubba Ray fucking Dudley and I marked out for it. The Dudleyz Boyz are my favourite tag team of all time and it was awesome just seeing Bubba back in a WWE ring, even if it's a once off thing. It was a nice bit of nostalgia hearing the old pyro drop and "We're comin' down!" along with Bubba's camo attire and taped up glasses. Where's D-Von though? Bubba treated R-Truth like a discount D-Von Dudley and it makes me think Vince stood backstage and said "Hey, Truth is black and he says 'what's up' all the time. He can be D-Von for tonight." Have they not hired D-Von as well or did they not have the room in the Rumble for him? - Really surprised at Miz's early exit. I was expecting some Miz & Mizdow shenanigans leading to Miz's elimination. - The Boogeyman has always been awful, but I have to say I had a chuckle seeing him face off with Bray Wyatt.  - Really love how strong they make Bray look, and his short promo during the match is also solid. - The Wyatt Family face off was cool, but it also made me mad. In a company that has 32 fucking writers, not one of them can script in even the smallest reason as to why Rowan seems to hate Harper and Wyatt? GIVE ME SOMETHING TO GO OFF HERE. I'm not a mark in the 1980s, I'm a wrestling fan in the 2010s with access to the internet, I need more motivation to get invested in a feud other than "this guy's a face and this guy's a heel".  - Bryan gets a huge pop and he has a nice showing until he gets lacklustredly eliminated by Bray Wyatt and the entire fucking pay-per-view bombs from here on in. - The crowd has effectively hijacked this match with Daniel Bryan and bullshit chants. I can't believe the WWE fucked up so hard TWO YEARS IN A ROW. - Every entrant post Bryan seems to get booed, so of course that's a great time for The New Day to come out. I've never seen Kofi get booed before, especially at the Royal Rumble, but man they let him have it. The spot was the Rosebuds is cool, not as creative and fun as previous years but I guess the idea well runs dry eventually hey? - Roman Reigns comes out and gets booed into oblivion. I feel bad for the guy, WWE should have known better than to create this travesty. - The Mizdow spot frustrated me a bit given how over he is and how brief of a showing he has, and the fact that the Miz/MIzdow angle really doesn't feel like it's progressed at all tonight. Nevertheless, I love Mizdow's delivery in getting eliminated and sitting and mimmicking Miz at ringside. - Ambrose and Ziggler both get major pops as the only possible saviours. The fans don't seem too shit hot on Ryback until he clotheslines Reigns, then they love him. - Kane and Big Show steamroll over every fan favourite left in the ring. I can't get over Ziggler's elimination. He jumps into the KO punch from Show, then they just dump out of the ring like some trash. That has killed so much of his momentum for me, and he clearly deflates the audience even further. Ambrose has a very similar anticlimactic elimation. - Reigns eliminates Show and Kane at the same time, and the audience is meant to go nuts for throwing out the bad guys, but instead they boo the shit out of him and this event because of the mere fact that we're supposed to cheer on a pretty green rookie for throwing out two irrelevant 40-something year olds.  - Show and Kane return to the ring to beat on Roman Reigns, because Kane's a corporate shill and Big Show is an angry giant that does angry giant things. The Rock comes out to help Roman clean house. Rusev is the runner up who gets dumped out of the ring. The Rock raises Reigns' hand in the air and the fans shower them with much deserved hatred and resentment. The ending reminds me a bit of The Simpsons episode where they discover that Major League Baseball has been spying on everyone, so Mark McGwire rocks up to cover things up by "socking a few dingers!" The typically absent minded Springfield residents are in awe of the dingers and don't notice the baseballer hide the spy satellite data in his hat. In this analogy, Mark McGwire is the WWE, the crashed spy satellite is Roman Reigns and the citizens are the "WWE Universe". But in this case, no, we are not interested in seeing you "sock some dingers", not even if The Rock is there in person. We are in 2015, not the 1980s. You can no longer tell the fans who to cheer and who to boo and expect that they'll accept it. Fans connect with certain wrestlers and naturally want to see them succeed. The fans have connected with Daniel Bryan, Dolph Ziggler, Dean Ambrose, Bray Wyatt etc. They have not connected with Roman Reigns simply because his promos are god awful and he has provided absolutely no development of his character since The Shield have broken up. The guy has yet to prove himself as a main event star. As far as I'm concerned, he's had one singles match, and he can thank Randy Orton for that. It's unfortunate that he spent a chunk of 2014 in the recovery room, but unfortunately that's how the cards were dealt and if WWE were even remotely reasonable, they would have given the fans what they wanted to see this year and give Roman another 6-12 months to prove himself and let us accept him. But now since the WWE has relentlessly crammed this wrestler down our throats, we have rejected him. I can't help but feel bad for Roman - his career is now damaged and it's going to take a lot to fix it and wash the stigma of this night off of him. I'll post a proper review some other time. But this pay-per-view made me fucking sick to my stomach as a paying customer.

[thelowblow]

WWE Royal Rumble 2015 Predictions

I'm going away for the weekend and probably won't get back until the Rumble is just starting. So here's my predictions: note that I haven't watched SmackDown yet. Six-Man Tag Team Elimination Match Cesaro, Tyson Kidd & Adam Rose vs. The New Day The preshow match will see New Day win. The fact that it's elimination style interests me a bit. Will it come down to a 1 vs 1 thing or will we see The New Day pull out a flawless victory? I'm a bit afraid of that. Tyson Kidd and Adam Rose could both individually use wins, but Cesaro is perhaps the most desperate for a victory. He's just been on a non-stop losing streak for months now, which is depressing when you consider how white hot he was coming out of Wrestlemania 30.  New Day will win and no one will care. WWE Tag Team Championship The Usos (c) vs. Miz & Mizdow The Usos 100% win this. Putting the titles back on Miz and Mizdow only really serves to stretch their current storyline, and it's already starting to wear thin a bit. Not that I'm not digging it, they just need to pull the trigger on it, and the Royal Rumble is the ideal place for it to happen. Especially so considering that both Miz and Damien Mizdow are in the Rumble match. Watch some shenanigans happen leading to Miz and Mizdow losing, then Mizdow likely eliminating Miz later in the evening. Paige & Natalya vs. The Bell Twins I don't really understand this match. Why, on a card packed with tag matches and so few title matches, are they putting one of their champions in a meaningless tag match? Why not Nikki vs. Natalya or Nikki vs. Paige? In any case, this match could go either way. I'm picking Paige and Natalya. No title is on the line, there's the out for one of the babyfaces to pin Brie so champion Nikki doesn't lose much momentum. This could lead to a title match next month at Fast Lane as well. So my money's on Paige and Nattie. The Ascension vs. The New Age Outlaws Having The Ascension get beaten down by a ring full of semi-retirees definitely didn't do them any favours, but neither did calling them up to the main roster with a weak Road Warrior gimmick. This will at least give The Ascension something to actually brag about rather than just steamrolling jobber teams every week. The New Age Outlaws are one of the greatest tag teams of all time IMO, and so this should be a big win for them. If for some ungodly reason they lose, then that's basically it for The Ascension. WWE World Heavyweight Championship Triple Threat Match Brock Lesnar (c) vs. John Cena vs. Seth Rollins I just don't know. Any one could win this match. LOLCENAWINS is a legitimate possibility. Seth Rollins has a chance thanks to his Money in the Bank contract. But I have to go with Lesnar. Having him lose here more or less ruins the work they did in his booking from Wrestlemania until now. Having Lesnar lose clean to Rollins wouldn't be completely bad, but that won't happen. Lesnar needs to retain and stay strong and keep the title up until Wrestlemania. 30-Man Royal Rumble Roman Reigns, is unfortunately you're 2015 Royal Rumble winner. WWE are trying to kickstart his career by rushing him to the top. Some might argue that he's ready, or at least as ready as Cena was at the time, but I disagree. The guy has an awesome look, but he's not ready to headline the biggest event of the year yet. Just as Cena spent a year feuding over the United States title, and as Randy Orton spent a long time as Intercontinental Champion, Roman Reigns needs another year to build himself up. He needs to develop his character and give us a few more matches to prove himself. So far I feel like he's had one good singles match, and that was against Orton at SummerSlam. What else has he done on his own, without The Shield? Having him win the Royal Rumble completely jumps the gun and is probably going to displease a lot of fans - but remember that this is a company that pushed Batista over Daniel Bryan just a year ago. They will do what they want. And considering how they've booked Roman Reigns, and how he was apparently Superstar of the Year last year, that means they want Reigns at the top. Unless something major goes on behind the scenes, you can look forward to a dominant Roman Reigns victory, and probably Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns at Wrestlemania. Daniel Bryan IS a possibility, I won't rule that out. But I'd be putting my money on "The Roman Empire", /sigh.