thepaperreader

[thepaperreader]

Happy 4th of July

I began to write something earlier, but it is gone now. I got distracted with doing that playtesting. Something about what constitutes and good person.  Lets just make this clear since my friend brought this up and I want to make a discussion about it. What constitutes a good person. Inshort, it is almost impossible to constitute a person as simply good and bad. The more interesting question is can good actions overwrite all the bad and will that lead someone to definitively claim this person is a “good person” overall. Three anecdotal instances come to mind from this exercise, some outlandish and some personal.  I will use (*) Letters to distinguish between people and to hide identities Instance 1: A man(B) of recent faith is known to have molested his little sister(L), both of age. The woman knows and her friend(C). They have agreed, that though they forgive his actions, she wants to know why he did these things. My friend(D) telling me this was in disbelief that they would be okay with this. The girls tried to get my friend to understand that they still believe he is a good person and bringing this up to the police would do more harm than good in thier world.  Now both the girl(L) and my friend(D) have some questions and are confused in someway. I want to break down the easy question first. Why did my (B) molest me? Though I may be recollecting this wrongly, he(B) was molested too, but trauma like that personally I wouldn’t call a part of the issue, because I would expect it to be more rampant. (L) was molested simply because (B) was a horny man. Cut and dry, he knows what he did is wrong and he may continue to do it, until there is a real incentive for him to stop. Though supposedly he has stopped.  In (L)’s mind she does not want to rat out her brother because the good out ways the bad that was done to her. Why? 

[thepaperreader]

Idk Anxious

A 21 year old awake not knowing what to do, but too write onmy phone. Using a site the is predominate filledwitj sex blogs, sjws and horny/sad teens whi are just as clueless about life as they will be years from now.

Where to begin theres only one person that follows me amd that same person is who i should probably not talk in the next decade. If it took only 2-3 years to fuck me up this bad. I cant imagine what 5 years one would do to me.

I dont think im scared of meeting people. I meet new people everyday. I may still have a fear of the oppisite sex, but frankly I may be one if those boring serial monogamist.

One day I would like to wake up one day and treat people the way everyone deserves to be treated, but I’m always stuck in between being more mean than I should be and more well meaning(neuroticlly) than i should be.

One day I wish I could know what to do to keep myself focused on theost inmoortant part of my life, school. Juggling a job, relationships, bitches, personal anxieties honestly isnt too hard. Hard knows my life is anywhere close to crap. I need something to focus me.

I’m probably getting anxiety just due to failing classes and asking for too much in this one relationship, but I may also be suffering from withdrawls from another. Every time I go to the school on other days I hope to see her. Thank Allah I don’t I know I must treat her nicely. I’ve been terrible terrible to her and she was may be to me, but I have no right.

This Dream(night terror) I had last night of the other women had me the most hysterical I’ve every been, since first bitch. I think my brain was articlulating how much I cared for her, it was probably top 3 realest dreams. I literally felt tears and my self rocking back and forth. Once I woke up and I felt no tears on my face, i almost believed I woke up in a dream.

I think I got it. I dont want to lose anyone else like lost the original. or may I combined the two. Suicidal tendencies mixed with not really being able to say good bye in any proper way. My brain having her father answering her Cell instead of letting it ring out. May brain want it to be dramatic.

I wrote too much. I’ve spent to much of my day being fixated on blth these women. I need to do hw for a class Im going to fail.

May be I realizing Gay isnt the reason for why I failed my classes the first two years. It was and truly is just me. I was and still like to think am connected to her in someway. I’ll always hope I could stop talking for the next decade. Come back together and still be pals, buddies, siblings. Who knows, it may legitimatly be different with girls, a notion I’ve continuaous fought.

I may start doing this to help me focus a bit more. There aren’t any friends I can say this shit to. People I would be comfortable to tell this to are probably going to complain just as much as I am an now. And like Jediah I just want someone to listen.

Listening is truly difficult. I’m sorry to the people I hurt. Nothing I can do but to continue and and make the world better.

You’re going to carry the way weight.

-ReadDead

ps Monica youre not getting this one, but thank you too. ppsYou were that to get something like this other than gay

ppps Shouts out to sophomore year!!!! 2:19am may 10, 2018

[thepaperreader]

god shinji he said he wanted to have some tea not suck your dick

[thepaperreader]

What leads to....

Where to go?

[thepaperreader]

Failed Fall out 4

Must kill. Only kill option sadly. Must find other game challenge.

[thepaperreader]

Fallout 4

Terms: 1. Unarmed fighting.  2. No Kills. Unless Person who killed family. 3. Will use revolver as a way to pacify enemies if player wants to. (Perk) 4. One bullet may be fired from revolver to kill person who killed family. (Maybe)5. Every gun will be dumped in river?