thestrangeblob

[thestrangeblob]

what op said♥️✂️😽

No guillotine could ever take away the head I would give her. 😩🙏

[thestrangeblob]

screaming crying throwing up why is everything you write so good onggg😭😭

If sevika stabbed me I’d lean more into the knife to be closer to her

[thestrangeblob]

oh my god oh my god oh my god

idk if this might be off the table but can you write about sevika finding reader on the bridge about to jump off of it but she gets there just in time

Feel free to ignore if you don’t like it !

thank you for the request anon </3

disclaimer: this piece is not meant to trivialize, romanticize, or dramatize mental illness. i write these to cope and draw the content matter from my own experiences. if you are personally going through something like this, please please reach out and seek help!! tumblr is not a viable replacement for therapy!! and as always if this content is triggering or upsetting for you, pls scroll away and take care of yourself 💙💙

don't let me go

content warning(s): heavy angst, depictions of depression and self-destructive ideation (hurt/COMFORT this time tho trust 🙏)

"this world is a wasteland where nothing can grow if it weren't for you, i'd be here all alone i know in my heart this is where we belong this world is a wasteland... don't let me go."

~~~

*context: reader and sevika have been friends since childhood and now both work under silco.*

~~~

“Sevika,” you say. 

She grunts. 

“What’s your dream?” 

“My dream?” 

“What do you want. I mean really want.” 

Sevika rolls a broken bottle under her boot before pulling back her foot and kicking it into the river. It takes off with a sharp clinking sound, the music of breaking glass, before sailing through the air and plunging into the river water.

“Kill my old man,” she says.

“Okay, second to that.” 

She looks at you. “What d’you mean?” 

You stare back. She is only eighteen but looks older than her years, already tired of the world and its cruelties. She has grown too quickly for her young mind. Her body is hardened to the undercity. You love her with a hopelessness deeper than the black river dividing Zaun and Piltover. 

You ask again, “what do you want?”

She flashes you a rare crooked smile. “To live with you up there.” Pointing in the direction of Piltover. 

“In Topside?”

“No. In the sky.” 

There’s a pause. Then you say to her, “you’re so stupid.” 

“What do you want?” She returns. 

“Me?” I want you. The unspoken words tumble to the tip of your tongue, and you swallow them again. 

“I want a fucking break,” you say instead.

“Hunh.” She kicks another bottle. “We’ll get it. When Zaun is free, we’ll get it.” 

It isn’t quite what you mean, but you don’t try to explain yourself. You don’t tell her that she is the only reason you’re here, even when it sometimes feels like your will to live is clinging on by the fingernails. You don’t tell her that the sound of her voice anchors you when you start spiralling, guilt-ridden and full of self-hatred. You don’t tell her that the greatest fight in your life is not against the enforcers but with yourself. You don’t tell her that you fight every day because of her. 

Because you know she doesn’t fight for you. She fights for Zaun. 

~~~

Sevika watches you closely, though you never realize it. You have been acting strange nowadays, working for days on end without sleep or not coming into work at all. Silco has said nothing about it, because you’re one of his most prized henchwomen, but Sevika can sense something is off. You barely speak two words together unless it’s necessary, and when you do it sounds like your mind is far away. You look tired all the time and sometimes you disappear altogether, returning an hour later as if nothing had happened. And only Sevika notices the bloody cuticles, the swelling around your eyelids. 

One day she corners you in the passageway outside Silco’s office. 

“Are you sick?” she demands. It comes out more brusquely than she intends. She is mortified at her own concern for you. She doesn’t want you to see how much she worries for you, the effect you have on her. 

You look up at her in alarm. “No,” you say quickly. Too quickly. 

“Then why…” she searches for the right words, struggling not to betray herself. “Don’t lie to me,” she says at last. “Something’s wrong.” 

You can see right through her tough façade. You can see the concern in her frowning eyes. And all of a sudden you’re filled with deadly hope and an overwhelming desire to let go. Break down. Tell her everything.

But then you remember that most likely, she’s only concerned with the impact this may have on your usefulness to Silco—to Zaun. You’re terrified she might discover your condition and tell Silco to fire you, that you might be holding them back, that your emotional instability might make your jobs sloppy. 

So you do what you do best. You swallow your words. 

“I’m fine,” you say. “I’m sorry.” 

Her frown deepens. “I said don’t lie.” 

“I’m sorry.” 

“Don’t apologize, either.” 

“I have work to do, Sevika.” You try to move past her but she reaches out and stops you with her mechanical arm. 

“You used to tell me everything,” Sevika says. Was that a trace of sadness in her tone? Was it your imagination, or was there a softer look in her eyes? 

“There’s nothing to tell,” you say, and each word feels like a dagger in your own heart. “I swear.” 

You duck under her arm and walk swiftly away from her. 

~~~

It is a clear night and you and Sevika are on the rooftop of the Last Drop, sharing a bottle of wine. You can hear Vander and Silco arguing inside the bar, most likely on the topic of politics. They are already dreaming big, thinking past the long fight to overcome, visualizing a brilliant and abstract future. 

You do not see a future. On bad days you see nothing. 

On the good days…

Sevika takes a drink from the bottle and slings an arm around your shoulder. She can be casually affectionate when she’s in the mood, and you cherish these moments. You lean your head on her shoulder. Her skin is warm under her shirt. 

“What would you do if I died?” you ask her. 

Sevika doesn’t answer right away. But you feel her grip on you tighten. 

“If I lost you,” she says finally, “how do you think I’ll go on?”

~~~

When Sevika finds your note, the first thing she thinks of is that conversation on the roof, years ago. She has not forgotten a single thing you ever told her, and the recollection fills her with a terror she’s never known before. 

The slip of paper in her hand reads, you don’t need me anymore. Thank you. For all the moments you gave me before. 

Sevika doesn’t even stop to put on her cloak. She just turns around and runs. 

She’s too late. She’s too late. She’s too late. 

She tears down the street, pushing people carelessly out of the way. As she runs she activates the Shimmer cartridge in her mechanical arm. A hot rush, the familiar jolt, the searing pink in her vision. She runs faster, faster until the buildings are a blur around her, until the sweat flicks off her face. 

Between gasping breaths, like a mantra to you, she whispers, “Please. Please. Please.” 

~~~

It is too late to cry, it is too late to turn back, it is too late to think. Your chest is tight with all you remember. The waters churn under you. 

The only person in the world you have hung on for is Sevika. You tell yourself she will move on quickly. You tell yourself that your death would not make much of a difference to her. What was one person lost in the grand cause? Silco would be able to find a replacement in no time, and the great machinery of Zaun will continue to turn its weary gears. 

Sevika is now a part of that machine. Sevika will not miss you. 

You close your eyes and let your body fall forward. 

Someone screams your name, a raw desperate sound that doesn’t even sound human. 

A flash of rippling pink, a burning sensation around your waist, and then suddenly you’re on the ground. Someone’s arms are wrapped around you, someone’s voice is in your ear, and someone’s hot tears are falling into your hair. 

Sevika. 

Your eyes are shut because you’re afraid you’re already gone. You’re afraid if you open your eyes your senses will catch up with you, and Sevika will be replaced by the cold embrace of water, Sevika’s voice will become the rushing waves over your head. 

But she’s holding you still. She’s holding you so tight you can hardly breathe. She’s saying, over and over, “I’ve got you, I’ve got you, you’re okay.” 

And you can feel her heart pounding wildly against your ear, which is the only indication of how scared she actually is. 

You free your arms and wrap them around her neck. You let yourself break down. You cry until your chest feels like it’s tearing apart. She’s still holding you, her mech arm pressed into your back like a brace, and you cling to her tighter. 

“Don’t let me go,” you beg. “Oh god, don’t let me go.” 

“I won’t,” she says roughly, her voice shaking. “I never will.”

~~~

note: dear readers, i am sorry. 🥲

[thestrangeblob]

Do you think Sevika does that dramatic cape reveal but with her strap

[thestrangeblob]

since everyone thinks the feysand bonus chapter mentioning the enchanted gloves means elucien is endgame. I would like to take a moment to actually look at the context of the scene :)

gardening -> what elain thrives doing

getting one's hands dirty -> results in the garden flourishing

the gloves -> stops her from doing that

and lets not forget the abysmal reaction elain had to the gift. if she'd reacted that way to azriel's necklace I honestly do not think I would still be an elriel but to each their own I guess

with all the shouting from the other side I think if we just take a step back and look at the books we'll find that the crumbs are there all along and we just need to wait for the main course :)

[thestrangeblob]

what if when Azriel said this...

was cause he felt it when elain's life was in the balance when she was inside the cauldron...

and again when he couldn't feel her in Hybern's camp cause of the magic?

ik ik this was maybe probably not intentional buuuut my little heart is feral for them omg<3

[thestrangeblob]

[thestrangeblob]

all I need is a "I will have you without your armor, azriel" moment from elain ur honor

imagine after years of silent yearning for each other elain and azriel finally give in and kiss each other, its the best feeling they've ever felt and naturally elain tries to take azriel's clothes off (cause ofc miss "put it on me" is starving for him) and azriel stops her, self-conscious of the scars that litter his body, his deepest shame, and looks at elain with pleading eyes but she won't have any of that, no no no, hands still held within azriel's, she says, "I will not let you hide from me, azriel. I will have all of you. All your scars, all your tortured past, all your happiness. I will not settle for any less and I most certainly will not let you hide from me." and azriel pulls himself together into some semblance of a man for her, for she could ask him to bring her the sun on a silver platter and he would damn well find a way to make that happen. and they smash their booties together<3

[thestrangeblob]

I think if I was on the other side of the ship war I can see myself excusing azriel's "lustful" thoughts about elain and attribute it to him trying to get her out of his system (although when has that ever been the case lmao) but its really the smaller, seemingly inconsequential moments that really get me. like how can you justify a male calling a female his "light at dawn" when we know that male's biggest trauma was being denied sunlight??? how can you overlook them exchanging gifts in secrecy where only the mother can witness them??? how can one deny their feelings for each other when the first person that they each seek out in a room full of people is each other???

the books could stand on their own without any of these tiny minuscule one/two liners but the author included them for a reason. and I thought that reason is so fucking obvious.

[thestrangeblob]

y’all. genuine question - who is this steph??? why do gwynriels keep saying Steph this Steph that?? like how is this person relevant to what’s in the books lol

[thestrangeblob]

elriel typa love>>>

[thestrangeblob]

a cute little idea I have for a fic is elain finds out about rhy's dumbass order and decides she's done being treated like a pawn so she takes off to go train her seer powers with some powerful entity in a far off land and azriel loses his ever-loving shit and says "fuck you rhys and fuck ur court" and takes off to find her and when he does he finds elain in the middle of seeing as in like stuck and engulfed by power out of her control and azriel gets through to her, takes her face in his hands and grounds her back to reality and when elain comes to she softly says "you came for me"

no one steal my idea thx xo

[thestrangeblob]

a little list of canon evidence supporting most elriel theories <3

1. elain and the possibility of her training to be a spy

Elain pushed, “We keep it secret—we send the servants away. (...) No one will know.”

My sister Elain can convince anyone to do anything with a few smiles.

She (feyre) nodded toward Azriel. “I think she’s (elain) got you beat for secret-keeping."

It made sense, I supposed, that Azriel alone had listened to her. The male who heard things others could not … Perhaps he, too, had suffered as Elain had before he understood the gift he possessed.

Elain spoke from the doorway, having appeared so silently that they all twisted toward her, “Using me.” She scanned Elain from head to toe, wondering if she’d been taking lessons in stealth either from Azriel or the two half-wraiths she called friends.

Elain stepped out of a shadow behind him, and rammed Truth-Teller to the hilt through the back of the king’s neck as she snarled in his ear, “Don’t you touch my sister.”

2. elain wearing azriel's color (cobalt blue)

Elain rasped, “Nice to meet you,” before hustling after her, the silk skirts of her cobalt dress whispering over the parquet floor. ... She’d (elain) covered her nightgown with a silk shawl of palest blue, her fingers grappling into the fabric as she held herself. ... Elain seemed to realize it, too. She peered down at herself, at the simple blue gown she wore.  ... But Elain wrapped her own blue cloak around herself, ... “Is your father healing?” I added the cobalt of Azriel’s Siphons to the orange and mixed until a rich brown appeared. ... Azriel’s Siphons flashed, a sprawling shield of cobalt locking over Rhysand’s, his breathing just as heavy as my mate’s ... Az held Cassian’s stare for a moment, cobalt Siphons flickering, and then nodded.

3. elain's mating bond to lucien might be wrong

when elain was turned and mated:

Faster than any of us could see, Jurian fired a hidden ash bolt through Azriel’s chest. The ash bolt was coated in bloodbane that the King of Hybern claimed flowed where he willed it. ... “Put the prettier one in first,” the king said, Mor already forgotten. I twisted—only to have the king’s guards grab me from behind. Rhys was instantly there, but Azriel shouted, back arching as the king’s poison worked its way in. (I didn't leave out any lines between these two paragraphs... so why did the poison sink deeper into az when the king says to put elain into the cauldron???)

azriel's mate behaviour to elain:

Azriel smiled faintly. ‘Would you like me to show you the garden?’ But Elain did not balk from him, did not shy away as she nodded—just once. ... Elain sat silently at one of the wrought-iron tables, a cup of tea before her. Azriel was sprawled on the chaise longue across the gray stones, sunning his wings and reading what looked to be a stack of reports ... The two Illyrians paused their inspection of me long enough to note my sisters finishing up breakfast, Nesta in a pale gray gown that brought out the steel in her eyes, Elain in dusty pink. Both males went a bit still.” ... ‘Can I set you up in the garden? The herbs you planted are coming in nicely.’ ‘I can help her,’ said Azriel, stepping to the table as Elain silently rose. No shadows at his ear, no darkness ringing from his fingers as he extended a hand.” ... The ancient healer jerked her chin toward Lucien. “See what he can do. If anyone can sense if something is amiss, it’s a mate. The mating bond. It is a bridge between souls.” She pointed at Lucien as she saw herself out. “Try sitting down with her. Just talking—sensing. See what you pick up. But don’t push.” (what we see azriel do time and again) “She doesn’t need anything,” Azriel answered without so much as looking at Lucien. Elain was staring at the spymaster now—unblinkingly. “We’re the ones who need ...” Azriel trailed off. “A seer,” he said, more to himself than us. “The Cauldron made you a seer.” ... “Because of the shit with Elain?” Azriel stilled. “What happened to Elain?”

the description of feysand:

But the bond, the bridge between us... it was a howling void.

the description of elriel:

The only bridge of connection ... that knife.

the description of elucien:

“It felt ... strange,” Elain breathed. “Like you pulled on a thread tied to a rib.”

finally:

‘There is choice. And sometimes, yes—the bond picks poorly sometimes the bond is nothing more than some…preordained guesswork at who will provide the strongest offspring. At its basest level, it’s perhaps only that.’”

4. azriel's shadows DO like elain:

In the blinding sun off the turquoise water, his shadows were gone, his face stark and clear. More ... human than I had ever seen him. ... “What now?” Elain mused, at last answering my question from moments ago as her attention drifted to the windows facing the sunny street. That smile grew, bright enough that it lit up even Azriel’s shadows across the room. ... Nesta saw the blow land, like a physical impact, in Elain’s face, her posture. No one spoke, though shadows gathered in the corners of the room, like snakes preparing to strike. ... But tonight, here in the dark and quiet, with no one to see…He pulled the small velvet box from the shadows around him. Opened it for her. 

5. elriel's aesthetic as light and dark

I saw the painting in my mind: the lovely fawn, blooming spring vibrant behind her. Standing before Death, shadows and terrors lurking over his shoulder. Light and dark, the space between their bodies a blend of the two. The only bridge of connection ... that knife.

if y'all want any more cold hard canon to back up any other elriel theories/arguments/takes comment it on this post and I'll add it to the list LMAO

good day and good night y'all stay safe our there<33

[thestrangeblob]

It's honestly so funny how the antis claim they have 4 books of foreshadowing, but most e/riel moment is what Azriel has done for other people as well,

Azriel putting his life down to save elain?

He was also ready to die Mor when he was gravely injured and in pain himself,

Azriel offering himself to help elain to the garden?

Offered himself to Feyre to her learn how to fly. And bonus points gave her salve when the training caused her pain.

Azriel laughing? I am sorry Gwyn made him laugh and smile more in one chapter than 4 books combined,

Him having sexual thoughts? He also had them for Mor,

The Azriel potato helping and wait for elain to come scene is literally just followed by Rhys telling Feyre how his mother was mistreated as a reasoning for his actions,

Elain calling his hands pretty and making him blush? Nesta made him blush by hugging him.

So, like is he also the endgame for Mor, Nesta, Feyre and Gwyn?

I'll explain to you exactly in detail why each of those scenes may seem insignificant in a vacuum but is actually a big deal with the context that surrounds it <3

(this is just azriel and elain content cause they're the only character in this quadrilateral that I care about lol)

-> azriel putting his life down to save elain

who is elain's biggest protector? nesta. who does feyre (aka the author) say would have "killed and whored and stolen for" for elain? nesta. and who hesitated, doubted that getting elain back from hybern would be so dangerous that it would result in death? nesta.

so here we have elain's biggest protector hesitating to get elain back even though we've seen her time and again do absolutely anything for her sister hesitating. and then we have the heroic love interest saying "I'm getting her back" and he's told "then you will die" and he responds "I'm getting her back"

and you know what? he does get his girl back. and he "gently removed" her gagged and she looked at him "devouring the sight" of him and both so lost in each others gazes feyre had to tell them to "hurry up". and he "cradled" her to his chest the entire walk back to camp with as "blood dripped" behind him and his first concern was the chains on her hands and not the grave wounds on his body. and ykw elain's first concern was thanking azriel with a kiss on his cheek rather than the horrendous chains on her hands.

soo...yeah thats romantic af

-> azriel offering himself to help elain to the garden

again in a vacuum it may seem like nothing BUT lets not forget that same instance is when elain's "mate" gets all jealous and Rhys has to say calm down dude "azriel isn't the ravishing type" LOL. (and if lucien really wanted to get in elain's good graces he could have done something like that to spend time with her but oh well)

and this isn't just one instance is it? anytime feyre or anyone says elain needs something azriel is ALWAYS volunteering or showing concern. he goes out of his way to spend time with elain (sunning his wings next to her, spending all of her first solstice night taking with her, opening time in the gardens with her, etc) I would say that's mate behaviour.

-> azriel laughing

Elain, who clenched her fork as if she might wield it against him, and Rhys slid into the seat beside me, Ariel on his other side. A faint smile bloomed upon Ariel's mouth as he noticed Elain's fingers white-knuckled on that fork

That smile (elain's) grew bright enough that it lit up even Azriel's shadows across the room. "I would like to build a garden," she declared.

Then Azriel tipped his head back and laughed. I’d never heard such a sound, deep and joyous. ... Azriel mastered himself enough to say, “Thank you.” I’d never seen his hazel eyes so bright

and when after that wretched night where rhys forbid azriel from kissing his crush:

He'd been replaced in training by a stone-faced Azriel. who was more aloof than usual and wouldn't even give her a smile.

-> Him having sexual thoughts? He also had them for Mor

babes idk if you read the later books but after the elriel scenes started its been repeated that "he'd forgotten mor" even in that glorious bonus chapter that y'all love. Rhys brings up mor and azriel says says "what about mor" LMAOO

-> the Azriel potato helping and waiting for elain to come

again you take things in vacuum but you have to consider all the scenes that came before it and all that follows it<3

(but I have to admit it was hot as hell ughhh)

-> elain calling his hands pretty beautiful and making him blush

what's the one body part azriel is constantly insecure about? his scarred hands. what's the first compliment elain gave azriel? that his hands were beautiful. what's the thing that azriel is always offering to elain? his hands to escort her to the gardens, to show her something she would like, etc

the hands chico, they never lie<3

nuff said honestly

[thestrangeblob]

You know what it all boils down to?

How the hell do you end up reading a fated mates author then get pissed she is writing fated mates?

Make it make sense.

You know what it all really boils down to?

how the hell do you read a romance series and not want an epic romance story between two people are pathetically down bad for each other?

why do you not want a romance between two people pulled apart by fate and circumstance only they defy the odds and say "fuck it! this is the person I love! this is the person I choose to love cause fuck fate and fuck the gods above who are they to tell me who to love?"🌸🦇

make it make sense <3

[thestrangeblob]

soo i was in my own little elriel bubble on ao3 and I was struck by this sentence without my consent so now you have to as well

even if she wasn’t his, he somehow knew that he was hers

excuse me???!!! ms. rabbitroomreader really said I'm gonna make thestrangeblob cry at 8am in the morning right before she has to take a physics test cause wtf man😭

here's the link to the fic y'all. its about azriel coming to see elain when she was in her murky realm and carrying hope for the two of them (like actually sobbing cause why is it written so good ughh) maybe I'm just hungover but jesus you guys need to experience what I just did😭

[thestrangeblob]

okay so I've been seeing a lot of this "lucien didn't come to rescue elain because he was on a mission that she really wanted him to go to"

this argument is horrendously stupid for a few reasons:

fae males are supposed to go batshit crazy over their mates and if elain was taken captive and chained and gagged in a dirty tent fearing for her life shouldn't her "mate" show some concern for her? ofc we do see a male go feral to rescue her but thats another post :)

okay so poor lucien cant winnow long distances and was in the continent (not very leading man material but whatever) shouldn't he at the very least as elain if she was okay when he saw her the next time? show some relief that she's okay? but no, he doesn't even seem to have realised she was in danger

we know that mates can sense when each other are in danger a la rhysand's dramatic af entrance when feyre was having a breakdown on the aisle on her wedding day (he came ALL the way from night to spring btw) or when cassian was loosing his mind over Nesta in the blood rite.

so why did perfect dreamy lucien not show an ounce of concern over elain's kidnapping??? why was he in the continent trying fond another woman??? sureee elain says she saw a woman of flame in her visions (thanks to azriel for figuring out what she was seeing) but did sis say anywhere that she really wants lucien to go find this woman??? no it was something he did out if his own volition.

if he somehow did go on that journey for elain, because of elain shouldn't he have stayed by elain's side after completing his mission? should he have at the very least proclaimed that he accomplished what his mate desired? but no. he didn't. and he won't.

the ONLY male in the series that takes elain seriously and actually listens to her is a man clouded in shadows. a man who only finds peace and deprive from his darkness in his lovely fawn.