thetransconversation

[thetransconversation]

The fundamental power imbalance between male and female bodies wouldn’t be as noticeable if men didn’t take advantage of it so much

[thetransconversation]

I'm the first trans person to graduate from my school, with honors no less. Does that bother you, bitch?

not really. I would've congratulated you if you hadn't called me a misogynistic slur

[thetransconversation]

"In analyzing the sex-class system, feminists are accused of inventing or perpetuating it. Calling attention to it, we are told, insults women by suggesting they are victims (stupid enough to allow themselves to be victimized). Feminists are accused of being the agents of degradation by postulating that such degradation exists. This is a little like considering abolitionists responsible for slavery, but all is fair when love is war." —Andrea Dworkin, Right Wing Women

[thetransconversation]

Taken from someone on my fb, honestly the best take I’ve seen on the whole radfem/transgender dichotomy and perfectly describes how I feel.

[thetransconversation]

Women’s bodies and their life giving powers being regulated but penis-shaped weapons that ejaculate metal casings that can tear a living body to shreds in seconds not being as strictly regulated as the female body is the biggest and most disgusting display of patriarchal necrophilia I have seen in a long ass time.

[thetransconversation]

Those of you who are saying we should use inclusive language (like women, trans men, etc, not uterus havers) and those who call such issues “semantics” I cannot BELIEVE you. Are you serious?! Of all times to say this you say this NOW?! You really think this will help?? You give men an inch they’ll take a MILE. Like we’ve already SEEN. Tolerate it here and don’t bother complaining about it later. It’s all “use concise language when talking about women’s rights” until we actually LOSE them. This is not squabbling. If we concede and start this, it won’t be a women’s issue. It won’t even be a female issue. Everyone knows what a woman is. Stop entertaining this!!

Now with that said, I don’t think you need to stop donating to organizations that use inclusive language. Abortion funds will be used by women whether or not they do. You don’t even need to go onto others posts who do this if you don’t want to. In fact don’t even bother debating this nonsense. But if you make your own, please for the love of god use women. Use females. Nothing else!! You should know better. Remind people this is a women’s issue. This is misogyny. This is sexism!!

[thetransconversation]

Women of America, are you awake yet? Do you still believe you’re a citizen of this country?

Are you still swallowing that comforting lie that your eyeliner can kill a man? Did you know the suffragettes used bombs?

We have been watching the erosion of women’s rights for the last decade like a tide going out at sea. Have you? Are you getting cold in the shadow of this tsunami with your eyes closed, or are you brave enough to see it for what it is?

We do not have the same rights as men. We can’t speak of our abuse without getting sued - 1st amendment. We can’t stand our ground with guns against men without longer and harsher sentences - 2nd amendment. We don’t have control over our own bodies. We’re financially punished and educationally stilted from cradle to grave.

Forget the fantasy of empowerment. Lose your comfort with reality. Get a grip and get angry. Do you know what power is? It isn’t clothes and makeup and subservience in hope of scraps. It isn’t how confident you feel today. It’s the ability to enact change on your life, the lives of others, and the world. It’s land, money, knowledge, political office, and bodily autonomy.

It’s the ability to CHOOSE which pregnancies come to term. Do you truly grasp the weight of that power? How restricting reproductive rights operates as a fundamental baseline for patriarchy? Nature granted that power to women. It’s our choice. Not theirs.

We have to advocate for ourselves. We have to fight for ourselves and each other. We have to take lessons from our foremothers 50 years ago. The men with real power sure as hell will never do it for us. The men with real power identify with the throttled fetus, not the woman. The men with real power are complaining about low birth rates.

Abortion bans = sex kills. Women will die and it might be you.

[thetransconversation]

People will have u believe feminism has gone too far when it has gone absolutely no fucking where

[thetransconversation]

Why don’t men sell sex? Why don’t men strip? Why don’t men rip their hair out and walk on tiptoe? Why don’t men expect sex to hurt or make them bleed? Why don’t men like to be spat on or slapped or strangled or receive “consensual non-consent”? Why don’t men get exchanged for cattle or goats? Why don’t men smother themselves head to toe in layers of opaque fabric in hot countries? Why don’t men become financially dependent on women? Why do men not want to feel empowered?

[thetransconversation]

Look at this aggravating meme. My cis woman friend shared it on Facebook. She may be having a case of feeling-guilty-for-loving-Harry-Potter disorder.

It certainly seems to claim that all trans people have a unified idea of what support they require and that you're an idiot if you're not already on the same page. It really frustrates me to see these snide social justice memes being circulated to tell the liberal community what they should think.

Can you imagine asking how to support trans people and they open with this? This is the most important thing they can think of? Kim, there's people that are dying. Yeah, it may be worthwhile to boycott people you believe are spreading harmful beliefs, but it's insulting to be told this is THE thing trans people are ~begging~ cis people to do.

I really don't care about people's minor consumer habits. J.K.'s transphobia mixed among worthwhile gender critical opinions is probably the least of the reasons she's a bastard. The one thing I'm desperate to see from cis people on opinion-sharing platforms is understanding that they're allowed to think critically and that considering the harsh, unfun, radical feminist views on women's issues doesn't make them a bigot.

Don't tell me this is what I want from you! It just makes me tired!

- Annie (trans person)

[thetransconversation]

Linguistics of Transness

9. “How did I not realize I was a girl?”

I often see online transfems lightheartedly mock their past selves for not realizing they were trans, that they were “a girl”, despite showing signs of dysphoria, feminine interests, or identifying with female characters.

This seems unfair. Usually, “a girl” means a young female or a female informally. The past self could clearly see they were neither. Only later would they discover or invent a new definition of “girl” that resonated with them. So how could they have “realized” it earlier? How could the word “girl” have brought meaning to any of the things they were feeling?

The modern idea of transness tends to center around “being a girl” or “being a woman”. These are very undefined ideas that can mean many things and rely on a novel use of language: a new, or at least nonstandard, meaning of “girl” or “woman”.

What if instead of centering slippery words, we centered experiences? What if there was more discussion of the feeling of dysphoria and the shaming of femininity in males? Then, it might be easier to identify these feelings and experiences earlier, and respond to them, without any huge milestone of “realizing you are a girl”.

[thetransconversation]

Linguistics of Transness

8. What do trans women mean by saying they are “girls”?

I see many online transfems talking about cracking their egg and “realizing they were girls”. Plainly they are not biological girls, so what do they mean? What did they realize?

I believe that firstly, they realized they have dysphoria and want to seek physical feminization. When they imagine themselves with feminine features, it feels comfortable and right.

Second, they realized they have a strong comfort or preference for clothing and activities considered feminine. We often have a lot of shame around being feminine, so it can feel very powerful to accept our preferences.

Perhaps most importantly, they realized that the act of calling themselves a “girl” itself creates a positive feeling. It can counteract dysphoria, and be an expression of freedom in aesthetic femininity. Therefore, especially in the presence of others who have done so, they decide to use the word “girl” as an expression of their personal identity. (“Girl” is more aesthetically appealing than “woman” likely because it more evokes the feminine-viewed qualities of cuteness and delicateness.)

In a way, I think this is a brand new meaning for the word “girl”, related but different from its existing meanings.

[thetransconversation]

Linguistics of Transness

7. People think the trans experience is the same as the gay experience

I think a large part of the mainstream supporters of the trans rights movement treat it as completely equivalent to the gay rights movement.

Things about being gay that people attribute to being trans:

People think being trans is an innate trait you can discover and that is difficult to come to terms with and share with people because of bigotry. Correct, if trans means having sex dysphoria. Mostly correct if trans means wanting to present gender non-conforming, but whether that is “innate” is more subjective.

People think being trans does not cause distress in itself, but only causes distress because of bigotry. Correct, if trans means presenting gender non-conforming. Incorrect if trans means having sex dysphoria.

People think being trans has a rich history of existing with other queer identities in the margins of society. Correct, if your usage of the word trans is similar to its historical usage in these marginal communities. I believe its historical usage was pretty tied to having sex dysphoria.

People think trans women can never have power over cis women because they are both “women”. Lesbian women do not have power over straight women, because they are both female. However, trans women can have power over cis women, because trans women are male and cis women are female.

I think that since the trans movement does not have coherent definitions rooted in reality, the only way people can understand it when they want to be allies is by mapping it on to a different social issue.

[thetransconversation]

Linguistics of Transness

6. Trans language is from a time when physical sex and gender roles were synonymous

Historically, being a “woman” or a “man” meant many things at once: Your sex, assumptions about your personality, and the role you were prescribed in society. It was believed that these naturally went together and that they should go together.

I figure this influenced the original understanding of being “transgender” a lot. Like, if you feel dysphoria about your sex and want to be the other sex, it would seem both natural and obligatory that you should fit the opposite personality profile and societal role too. From this perspective, it was very natural to speak in terms of “wanting to be a [man or woman]”, or of “being a [man or woman] on the inside”. You either existed entirely on one side, or you crossed entirely to the other.

In the progressive world now, it is believed that sexed personality expectations and sexed societal roles are not natural to the sexes, but cultural constructs and harmful. The feminist movement fought for this recognition as a means to liberate women.

Usually, progressives believe that sexed societal roles (such as men working and women staying at home) are archaic and sexist, that personality gender roles (such as men being bold and women timid) are ignorant stereotypes, and that the words “man” and “woman” should simply refer to physical sex while casting aside all the old associations and letting people be whoever they are.

I think that our experiences and understandings of being transgender have likewise gained lots of nuance and variation. What does it mean to be trans? How does it relate to sex? To gendered aesthetics? To gendered personality roles? To gendered societal roles? There are lots of interesting ways to answer these questions based on personal experiences and observations of the trans community.

I’m certain that trans people and trans allies have varied and nuanced views on the realities of sex and gender. Is being trans about the body? Is being trans about how you are seen? Is being trans about possessing or cultivating personality traits? Is being trans about fulfilling a gendered role in social relations? How does it relate to misogyny? How does it relate to arbitrary gender roles? What is innate and what is constructed?

However, the trans movement seems to discourage this discussion entirely. It’s considered offensive to associate transness with physical sex or any kind of gender role. We’re only supposed to discuss things in simple, binary terms of “being” or “feeling like” a man or a woman. In the old days, that told you everything you need to know. But now, it’s just an empty placeholder that could mean anything.

It’s supposed to be validating and respectful to talk about transness in this way. But how can it help if it stops us from communicating?

[thetransconversation]

Linguistics of Transness

5. Are trans women women?

Some contexts where it may make sense to call trans women women:

- A casual, friendly use based on a person using feminine aesthetics

- When a lesbian woman is attracted (exclusively) to cis women and transfems

- Referring to people who are viewed and treated as women, which includes passing transfems

- Referring to people who feel non-threatening and trustworthy to you on the basis of shared gender, which some transfems may more than others

Some contexts where it may not make sense to call trans women women:

- Referring to biology (and misogyny around it)

- Referring to the shared socialization women experience

- Referring to people who are viewed and treated as women, which doesn’t include masculine-presenting and non-passing transfems

- Referring to people who feel non-threatening and trustworthy to you on the basis of shared gender, which some transfems may not

The word “women” has many meaningful facets in our culture.

The gender movement insists that trans women must be considered women, I think for these reasons:

- It tends to lessen transfem’s dysphoria

- Because of this, it’s seen as a way to show respect to transfems and acknowledge our right to freedom and safety

However, the movement doesn’t explain these reasons, and instead enforces them by treating incorrect language use, and any attempt to unpack and challenge the accepted language, as an unacceptable act of bigotry, similar to a person using slurs.

[thetransconversation]

Linguistics of Transness

4. Do trans women have male privilege?

The language people use in this debate is too general to be helpful.

I would broadly summarize the issue this way.

When a male person passes as female, they will face the same mistreatment as a female person.

When a male person is gender non-conforming, they can face bigotry and abuse. This may be so severe that they effectively do not hold power over female people around them.

Growing up, male and female people are taught gendered patterns of behavior. These benefit males and harm females. These patterns can be changed by intentional work. Maybe they can also be changed if one is viewed and treated as the other sex for a time.

Because society does not value female wellbeing, males have a lot of freedom to hurt and abuse females emotionally and physically, whether out of selfish cruelty, unmanaged issues, or any reason. This freedom has two parts: males are taught that they have it, and society gives it to them. If a male is passing as female or is not passing as a gender conforming male, society may extend them less of this freedom. If a male is no longer being viewed or treated as a gender conforming male, they may naturally feel less of this freedom.

The word “transgender” is broad and, today, effectively undefined. All of the above conditions may or may not be true for a transgender person. In order to actually discuss issues, people on all sides need to use language that is tied to reality.

[thetransconversation]

Linguistics of Transness

3. How does it help to call trans women “women”?

To my current knowledge, transgender dysphoria is when something about your brain chemistry is matched for one sex but your body is the other sex, and the mismatch causes distress. Engaging in things culturally associated with the other sex is a stopgap measure that lessens distress.

When we redefine “women” so that transfem males are “women”, this lessens their dysphoria. Why? Probably because the word “women” is culturally associated with the female sex (to put it lightly). This helps them feel closer to being the female sex.

But what if this redefinition campaign truly succeeded, so that one day “women” was only a self-identified label and had no relationship to biological sex? Would it lose its power to lessen dysphoria?

We must admit that when transfems call themselves “women”, it is inevitably a way of saying “I am like cis women”. The word would be useless to them otherwise. This is not automatically a bad thing.

However, it’s very unhelpful that the gender movement insists otherwise, saying that being a “trans woman” has nothing to do with cis women - that both groups just objectively fit into the preexisting category of “woman”.