thingsarecomplicated

[thingsarecomplicated]

accepting that you’re objectively weird & owning it is infinitely better than being constantly desperate to appear normal to people who don’t even matter to you

[thingsarecomplicated]

“Kindness begins with understanding we all struggle.”

— Charles Glassman

[thingsarecomplicated]

I once delayed an important doctor appointment to give my admin time to get substitutes lined up for my classes.

I put in my request the full two weeks in advance that was required.

The day of my appointment, my friend asked me if I was ok. I was puzzled and he said "I was just told I'm subbing for you in two class hours."

I gave them two weeks to find sub coverage. They didn't tell him until two hours before that he was losing a prep period to cover me.

Take your PTO.

[thingsarecomplicated]

I should have been more clear. I was agreeing lol.

Most kids regardless of neurotype are not taught those skills.

When I see people (especially people calling themselves neurodivergent) talk about never being taught how to study/take notes/etc, I wonder how much of the complaint is actually them assuming everyone else was taught some super special technique when the technique is just... having good executive functions that let you actually Just Do It.

[thingsarecomplicated]

This is how I feel about skincare.

It's talked about "You're so beautiful exactly as you are, you deserve to be happy and confident! You know what would make you happy and confident? Getting rid of those hideous pimples and preventing those icky wrinkles!"

Ladies...

Is your ear cartilage symmetrical?

Are your pores drooping?

Do you have thighs?

Something Is Wrong With You.

Buy Product.

[thingsarecomplicated]

[thingsarecomplicated]

My neurotypical students suck at note taking too. A lot of them succeed despite their terrible studying and note taking skills, but the skills are not there.

When I see people (especially people calling themselves neurodivergent) talk about never being taught how to study/take notes/etc, I wonder how much of the complaint is actually them assuming everyone else was taught some super special technique when the technique is just... having good executive functions that let you actually Just Do It.

[thingsarecomplicated]

[thingsarecomplicated]

Similarly, I internalized the idea that I was super messed up and completely alien because as a teenage girl I thought sex sounded nice.

I had heard speeches at youth group and school addressed to girls basically saying "Look, the thing you have to know about boys is that they really want to have sex! I know that doesn't make sense to you as a girl, because as a girl I know you don't ever think about sex, but it's true! Guys think about sex all the time, even though you girls never do!"

And I thought "Wait, I don't think about sex? I don't want sex? That's news to me! I must be the only one! I must be some kind of pervert for being a girl and thinking about sex! What's wrong with me?"

Something else that makes me cringe? People who think they’re irregularly dark. You know the type.

“I’m not like normal girls lol I read the wikipedia page on Bundy! I’ve got such dark fascinations.” “I guess I’m such a twisted person, I watch horror movies for FUN!”. “Haha unlike other girls….I LIKE night time!” “I know who cthulu is so im basically satanic, I bet my mom would be so shocked!!!”. “I reblogged one picture of a skull, so yeah you could say I’m morbid >:3” “I’m insaaane!!! The dark depths of my soul would scare anyone”

Like come on am I the only one who gags at this stuff

[thingsarecomplicated]

Do you know how hard it is to live with a cat that has the intelligence level of literally like a 3 year old but the pure chaos of a high ranking demon?

He’s learned to open the lazy Susan and won’t stop clawing open the flour and rolling in it like a little chinchilla

[thingsarecomplicated]

It Matters

“It all matters. That someone turns out the lamp, picks up the wind-blown wrapper, says hello to the invalid, pays at the unattended lot, listens to the repeated tale, folds the abandoned laundry, plays the game fairly, tells the story honestly, acknowledges help, gives credit, says good night, resists temptation, wipes the counter, waits at the yellow, makes the bed, tips the maid, remembers the illness, congratulates the victor, accepts the consequences, takes a stand, steps up, offers a hand, goes first, goes last, chooses the small portion, teaches the child, tends to the dying, comforts the grieving, removes the splinter, wipes the tear, directs the lost, touches the lonely, is the whole thing."

— Laura McBride, We Are Called to Rise, Simon & Schuster, 2014

[thingsarecomplicated]

Ok, but this is actually a good thing to do (unless you obsess about the brain tumor thing).

Have a headache? Ask yourself if you're hydrated. If no, drink water. Ask yourself if you're nourished. If no, eat something. Even if the hydration and nutrition don't help the headache, maybe the headache was a useful reminder to eat and drink. Take out your ponytail holder and see if that helps.

With the exception of obsessing over the brain tumor, this is taking care of yourself.

[thingsarecomplicated]

Why do I feel like women can't win when it comes to being accused of internalized misogyny?

To clarify, I think internalized misogyny absolutely exists, but...

I feel like if a girl is super girly, wears makeup, shaves her legs, follows fashion trends, etc. she's accused of giving into misogynist beauty standards

But if she's a tomboy who doesn't wear makeup or think fashion is cool, she's accused of being a "not like other girls" "pick me."

What is a woman "supposed" to do? Wear a gender neutral burlap sack and go live in the woods so as to not interact with men?

[thingsarecomplicated]

Do people who write positivity messages not... have jobs? Or responsibilities? Others who depend on them?

I really try to not reblog positive messages with negativity.

But if I have to see one more "It's good enough if you're trying!" "If you care about being a good teacher/friend/person, that means you are one!" "You don't have to be productive" etc. message I may lose it.

My not being productive enough harms my students. Trying isn't good enough for the people who depend on me. Caring isn't enough to get the job done. Getting the job done gets the job done.

[thingsarecomplicated]

There are militant vegans. There are people who talk nonstop about Cross Fit or running or atheism and act all superior about it.

But I feel like the reputation people in those groups get for only talking about their thing is kinda unfair.

Of course a runner is going to talk about their running, and someone who does Cross Fit is going to talk about doing Cross Fit. Don't you talk about your hobbies/interests? Don't you talk about the things you really view as positive in your life?

I talk about my religion as a Christian. So it's only fair if atheists talk about their atheism.

Vegans often have to talk about their veganism so their dietary choices can be accommodated. But even if they're being preachy a lot of us are preachy about issues we care about.

Annoying vegans exist. Annoying people exist, and vegans are people. But I feel like the reputation is a little unfair.

[thingsarecomplicated]

Reason I'm the biggest hypocrite in the world:

I have mega ADHD. I can't stand to talk to people with ADHD in person.

Well, that's not 100% true. I have ADHD students I get on with quite well.

But SHEESH the energy of some people is SO overstimulating. And I feel like a major jerk for hating it because they're just excited and happy.

But my goodness can my one ADHD friend talk. And not just talk. I can handle talkers. But she talks so quickly and loudly and excitedly. And she interrupts! Goodness me, she needs a chill pill.

[thingsarecomplicated]

That thing dogs do where they pull back their lips and it sorta looks like a smile when they're stressed?

Why do I do the same thing?

Was six year old me right? Am I part dog?