thoughts-n-tunes

[thoughts-n-tunes]

unavoidable that you will be the villain in someone else's story. You will be painted in an unfavorable light. You will be the irredeemable one. and all of this will happen despite how nice you might usually be or how kind or how respectful or how warm. and you will just have to move on.

[thoughts-n-tunes]

There'll be a moment when you realise you're 27 when yesterday you were just 17; and you wouldn't be able to tell how a decade passed away and your life got divided into before and afters. The fury of youth will subdue and nothing will really change but everything will feel different when you look at old photographs and blurry videos taken on cheap mobile phones. Scents will remind you of childhood and certain friends you don't talk to anymore, hangouts will become reunions and mom's burnt pie will become the best food you ever had. And I know on some days you won't be able to show anything of those 10 years but I hope you remember to breathe, and let go of the knot in your chest. I hope you go out in the sun and live a little, because tomorrow is 37.

-Ritika Jyala, excerpt from The Flesh I Burned

[thoughts-n-tunes]

really everyone you love has something miserably wrong with them or an obvious flaw that won't ever be fixed but like it's up to you what kind of person you can and cannot deal with. someone in my family has anger issues which I can handle and diffuse with no problem, but a person who can't tolerate yelling could not be close to him. another person I know is very anxious & needs constant reassurance and she gets along famously with gentler and more straightforward people than myself, but I can't handle being second guessed all the time. someone who is loosey goosey with their morals wouldn't bother me, but a person with a profound sense of justice makes me feel afraid of getting on their bad side. none of these traits actually make someone a bad person & just because there are personalities I can't handle doesnt mean I'M a bad person either. litany against callout posts for stupid shit and simple incompatibilities we all have to live on this earth together & need to learn how to deal with each other

[thoughts-n-tunes]

i think one of the most important things you learn about making connections with others is that a significant portion of the time people just do not know theyre doing what theyre doing

[thoughts-n-tunes]

been stewing on an analytical approach to fiction which I call "is this book afraid of me?" and in order to answer this question you determine how hard the book is trying to make sure you don't come after the writer on twitter

[thoughts-n-tunes]

it is so important that you are a little bit ugly. please get comfortable with having unplucked eyebrows and nonexistent jawlines and wrinkles. let your blue hair grow out into an uneven pale green and your clothes be old and mend them and modify them until they’re unique to you. wear lipstick which doesnt compliment your skintone and mismatched outfits which went out of fashion 5 years ago. be a little bit too loud and a little bit too passionate and as weird as you can be because oh my god there is nothing more disturbing to me than perfection. beauty is manufactured and sold to us and you need to realise that you are a fucking animal to live a joyful life I am so serious. you cant obsess over aesthetics forever please just live messily and make your body your home however you please.

if you dont do it for you, do it for all the teenagers who will see u in the street and know that they are not obligated to be attractive

[thoughts-n-tunes]

it's kinda comforting to me when my friends are a little annoying or longwinded or abrasive or tired and inarticulate, or they don't do the exact politest thing in every interaction, and stuff, because I know I'm sometimes annoying, or take up a more than my share of conversational space, or forget to ask them questions, etc etc, and... like, I'm always working to be nice to my friends and to get better and better at friend-ing, but it just makes me feel more human about it :}

anyway I love you friends plz know I'm not counting, in fact I feel great affection toward you even (especially) when conversations go less than Perfectly Ideal

[thoughts-n-tunes]

[thoughts-n-tunes]

[thoughts-n-tunes]

[thoughts-n-tunes]

part of the reason I think it’s so sad that we collectively write so few stories about unrequited love is bc I feel like there’s very little public acknowledgment of how much it sucks to be the one somebody is in unrequited love with??? and not in a way of like, oh they’re crossing boundaries or putting expectations on me or whatever. becoming close friends with someone and then finding out they’re in love with you and you don’t love them back the same way is heartbreaking, bc a) someone you love is in pain and there is literally nothing you can do about it, and b) it usually means that whether you like it or not there’s going to be distance in your friendship that wasn’t there before as they try to get over you. idk man I just feel like we’ve all discussed the tragedy of loving someone who doesn’t love you back quite a lot and very rarely discuss the tragedy of finding out the way that you love someone just isn’t enough.

[thoughts-n-tunes]

[thoughts-n-tunes]

my favorite love language is trying, actually

[thoughts-n-tunes]

Sorry about the rant I'm just SO sick of this "we have to be on all the time never look away if you aren't upset about politics and traumatizing yourself watching people die on Twitter you're wrong and complicit and evil" like I know things are fucked and we need to stay angry but we can do that while also taking a minute to crack open a cold one with the boys or have gay sex or get tipsy at the line dance, we HAVE to have joy to remember why the fuck we're refusing to give up in the first place. Fight like hell for your loved ones and then also go home with them to smoke weed and drink sweet tea and make biscuits covered in honey and butter please, please don't deprive yourself of joy, you're allowed to be happy BEFORE the work is done. You're allowed to be happy.

[thoughts-n-tunes]

The fact that people don't think friendship is enough to justify characters doing insane acts of love for each other baffles me. Like have you never loved your friend so so much you want to live in their ribcage. Have you never been really weird about a friend. Have you never wanted to bite your friends parents or shove them down a staircase. Have you never wanted to be buried in the same grave as a friend. Have u never. How do u people live like this.

[thoughts-n-tunes]

truly the end goal is not "my close friends aren't annoyed by me and it's all in my head, they're my friends and they love me", it's "sometimes I do annoy my close friends, just as the people I love most will also annoy me sometimes, because this is normal, and we will continue to stay friends, and they're not going to want to immediately cut me out of their life if I do something annoying once in a while"

[thoughts-n-tunes]

There’s certain benign activities that you should do even if someone is judging you because the sort of person who would judge you for doing that isn’t a person worth listening to.

Worried about wearing that pikachu shirt when you usually don’t wear t-shirts? Do it. The sort of person who would judge you for wearing a pikachu shirt isn’t worth your time.

Worried someone will judge you for eating in public? What sort of idiot cares about another person eating a salad at the park? Just do it.

Worried you’re not dressed well enough for this mall? It’s a mall. If someone judged you for showing up in basketball shorts they have too much time on their hands.