thoughtsawayfromthemasses

[thoughtsawayfromthemasses]

Angry

Angry angry angry angry angry

I don't process anger very well. My therapist found that the only time I get angry is when I'm angry at myself.

I've been having recurring dreams where I'm angry at my sisters, particularly the eldest one. I found it very strange as I'm never angry with them in real life and love hanging out with them.

Tonight though, having woken up from a dream where I had a meltdown and was so angry with my eldest sister, I have worked it out. I don't feel she's doing enough to support the middle sis and our mum. I don't feel she's present enough.

[thoughtsawayfromthemasses]

I hate myself

I hate myself

I hate myself

I hate myself

[thoughtsawayfromthemasses]

I don't like myself very much right now.

[thoughtsawayfromthemasses]

I don't like myself very much right now

[thoughtsawayfromthemasses]

[thoughtsawayfromthemasses]

I really hate myself sometimes

[thoughtsawayfromthemasses]

Why do I dislike myself so much today

[thoughtsawayfromthemasses]

I hate me today

[thoughtsawayfromthemasses]

I really don't like myself today

[thoughtsawayfromthemasses]

I'm so tired

[thoughtsawayfromthemasses]

sure he’s well versed in leftist theory but does he do the dishes

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Why do I feel so exhausted. Not tired, exhausted, as if a full weekend in bed wouldn't be enough.

[thoughtsawayfromthemasses]

I'm feeling irrationally annoyed, and have done for more than a week. I thought it was because I was due on, but I have my period now and I'm still annoyed at the world.

Grumble grumple

[thoughtsawayfromthemasses]

My house is a mess. It stresses me out. The more untidy my home is, the messier my mind is. It also makes me unmotivated.

I love my gf very much, but she has hoarder tendencies and I'm not coping. There is so much space in this home but we're not using because there's so much mess.

It's too big a battle for me. I just about keep on top of my mess, I can not keep up with someone who leaves dirty dishes and rubbish wherever they're sitting.

I don't even like walking around barefoot, as the floors aren't clean. I can't clean the floors as there's too much stuff on them, not put away. I even feel like the place is starting to smell.

Even writing this is stressing out, 'cause it just reminds me of all the things I need to do.

I'm trying to hire a cleaner. I'm a bit embarrassed about how messy the place is, but hopefully they'll be polite about it.

I just hope my gf copes with a cleaner okay. She doesn't like people in her space!

We'll see how it goes.

[thoughtsawayfromthemasses]

I've been tumblring for a while. I started when I was deep with Mental Health and Anxiety problems. I wanted a place I could jot down some thoughts, maybe connect with people, a place to remind myself I still have interests.

It worked, much better than I had thought. I'm healthier and happier, and even in a relationship for the first time.

As happy as I am, sometimes you just need to moan about something, and put down some thoughts to make your mind clearer.

That's my plan with this side blog. I just want to download, where I'm not known, especially as my gf follows my main blog.

[thoughtsawayfromthemasses]

Let's see how easy it is to make a side blog using tumblr mobile!

It's not gonna be pretty, but it's just for downloading my thugs thoughts