thoughtsinlyrical

[thoughtsinlyrical]

Without any explanation, you disappeared, And I feel like I've lost a part of myself I miss you terribly and I don't know if I should wait for you, I'll probably never understand and that's what hurts the most Yet I know I've done nothing wrong, You wanted space, so I just stopped feeding your ego, You wanted passion, but never gave me any, I believed in you, and I now feel like I'm paying the price I don't even know if what you've shared with me is true, Cause being so attached I've been looking for you Maybe I'm going crazy, or maybe it's just another trauma, I loved you so much, you can't even imagine Every time my phone buzzes, deep inside me, I hope it's you, that you're back, that you're better, That it was a mistake, you needed time, to find yourself again

You said you'd contact me, and though you're no longer there, Deep down inside, I'm still waiting for you... But I don't know how long I can wait, My health is getting bad, I'm still taking my medicine, I'm losing weight, I hardly sleep anymore, and eating is a trial, You've left me feeling lifeless and hopeless, I'm groping in the dark, telling myself I didn't deserve this You said you weren't a monster, that you were just broken, And I never tried to fix you, I just gave you the keys, Because if a change had to happen, it was up to you, So maybe being a coward was what change was all about You could have finished what you started, just out of respect Some told me you'll come back, cause it's common, When I'm better, when I don't think of you anymore, That's when you'll come back blaming me for not having waited long enough, When it was you who had the weakness to leave without looking back You'll never find anyone like me, Someone capable of loving you like I did, You'll be unhappy all your life, karma will take care of you, Oh yes, I still hope you'll come back, but the wound is still fresh, If you do come back, nothing will ever be the same, You've broken me, I don't trust you anymore, Oh yes, I'm manifesting and praying for your return, I'm trying absolutely everything to bring you back to me And at the same time, I've got to get up, I've got to fight Because if I don't, no one will do it for me, You're not even capable of giving me a proper break I still love you but I hate you as much Maybe I'll forget you in the end, But it's still too early to tell, Every time I think I'm getting better, everything brings me back to you I had stopped crying, and suddenly that's all I do, Plus I found a few pictures of you... I even still have the sound of your voice in my head Everything inside me resists and demands you, even after the hurt you've caused me I know it's not healthy, that I have to move on I can't let go because for me, it's not over.

[thoughtsinlyrical]

Come to think of it, I think sadness can be addictive I was at my worse, they put me on drugs and it's a real relief Only 4 days on medication and welcome to the new me Clean skin, slight weight loss, she's not anymore on a hurry Overthinking stopped, but she still feel alone and bored So to pass the time she tries to recall what she made her worried Just to feel something Cause these drugs made their work She's not feeling anything She's not sorry to be wrong, to make mistakes, She's not on a cloud, not seeing the world so perfect She's just on a wave that connects with the other's life But still misses the sad her sometimes

[thoughtsinlyrical]

The Young Guys

I'm way too old, only a few can reach my vibe, I used to be so much more, now I don't care, I don't mind I'm still gonna shine all by myself cause I know I'll be fine Cause if I don't, I'll never get back what is mine You're young and wild, how can a playboy like you could even love me Will you only be able to want me, when the signs of time have the best of me Will you still want me like you want me now Is it just another fantasy of some young guys I've already built a life with so much love and passion, Then life itself came back to take all I had, it's called depression Sometimes I wonder if I'm not just an easy prey Your manipulation might really make me stay You're fresh and cool, how can a playboy like you could even love me Will you only be able to want me, when the signs of time have the best of me Will you still want me like you want me now Is it just another fantasy of some young guys Only looking for some love in someone's arms I know it's nothing good, I really want to give in Only looking for some love in someone's arms I know it's nothing good, don't stop teasing I could rise above everything they've made of me So mister playboy please keep digging in my body's memory If you're so sure of yourself, don't hesitate, come and get me It's never too late, no matter what, to be really happy You're so hot, take my soul, how can a playboy like you could even love me Will you only be able to want me, when the signs of time have the best of me Will you still want me like you want me now Is it just another fantasy of some young guys

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How to fix what's been broken, When I waited for months For you to trust me, You wanted to take it slow, And I've been waiting, why aren't we talking? How can I rekindle what 's gone out, The flame inside my heart seems to burn in vain You say nothing's changed, and yet it has, I thought you wanted me forever Can't you see you're losing me? I'm tempted to walk out the door, To slam it right behind me, Since so many others like me Why can't you see me?

I've tried many things, I've weaved lies hoping you'd come around, And believe me or not I regret it, Why can't you see me? How to become again what you fell for When you asked me to try to change And I did it for you, So sorry if you don't like what you've created Why are you ignoring me? I'm tempted to see other men, Hopefully it'll make you angry, At least I'll get a reaction from you, Why can't you see me?

You wanted me to be more of a bitch, And so the bitch I've become, There's still some sweetness in me, Why can't you see me?

[thoughtsinlyrical]

Were you my boyfriend Or just some odd guy who comes and goes Already felt the end Before you turned back like I'm someone you don't know And if you ever want to kill me Just don't miss your target Cause I might run away baby So just don't waste your bullets You just drove me mad, so I became mad Promising things I'll never have One step forward for three steps back Keep making your life like I don't even exist And it took me a while to realize How many nights I've waited for you, so tired Cause I've never been important in your eyes Soul connections aren't supposed to die Sometimes I wished you were at my door But instead of that you just chose to ignore It's hard to move on cause I wanted more I'm just gonna live my life like you didn't exist

[thoughtsinlyrical]

Seeking for attention, turning love into poison Living on treasons, king of manipulation And not the kind I thought I've known You're just a misconception, my worst deception Hope you miss me when I'll be gone You took my crown, making me you clown, Tried to turn me off, leaving me here alone Hope you die when I'll move on

[thoughtsinlyrical]

Venomous fangs planted in my heart, Thinking the pain would be tolerable Poison spreads throughout my whole being, It's breathless that I'm sinking Hanging on to some fake promises, Oh I know he'll never make them real What a liar, what a player, What a coward, what a monster I was a fool to fall in love with that And so did I... Crystal fragments of my soul scattered, Picked up in pieces, I put them back all together Knife stabbed in my back, bleeding It's down there now that I'm screaming Hanging on to the sound of his voice, Oh I know he'll never be a good boy Dragging my pain, I detach myself, Cause with him, it's not safe I've got no time, I've got no choice, Screaming so loud I'm losing my voice If I stay here, he'll kill me Please help me What a liar, what a player, What a coward, what a monster I was a fool to fall in love with that And so did I... What a traitor, what a cheater, What a bad fuckin' manipulator Oh I was a fool to fall in love with that So did I...

[thoughtsinlyrical]

The Little Story~

Let me share with you a little story, About a doomed love and a hopeless destiny, He wanted to sink and drag her down with him, While she wanted to live and live her dreams She swore to be with him for a while, While he was screwing up his own life Why does everything always end up this way You first fall in love, and then it's time to betray She gave him all she had, thinking he loved her, He screwed up and didn't even listen to her, And when she realized he was a bad idea He ran after her, but she didn't want to hear Dude you turned her off, ripped her heart out, Still shouting you're not the monster they think you are He'll realize too late, but he's gonna miss her He'll even hear her voice when he'll get higher Let's hope she manages to rebuild herself, A year of being betrayed has led her to hell, Let's hope her soul holds out, her sanity too Yet he knew, but he still made her a fool Maybe she'll die of it, but she won't tell He made her suffer too much, she doesn't recognize herself Now let's wish this guy to eat his karma, Because sooner or later, it will happen hahaha

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Please take the rope off my neck, Cause I don't belong to you and never will And if I've agreed to give in to a few things, Never, oh never ever will you fully possess me I wanna rise from the ashes they made of me, Not to remain a pile of dust I wanna rise as high as I can and fully, Not fall even lower than they made me fall Please don't call it love when it's just a hold Cause you've done everything to make me fall in love And once the trick was done, I had a hard time letting go At least I hope you had a great time I wanna rise from the ashes they made of me, Not to remain a pile of dust I wanna rise as high as I can and fully, Your tiny spark won't bring me back to life Cause I'm a pheonix, At least I try to be I need a blazing fire crashing over me Yeah I'm a pheonix, That's what I wanna be And you'll never know this version of me We'll never be what we were meant to be You didn't even love me

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Keeping me waiting, singing to me that the good days are coming, Telling me you'll love me forever on an unexpected phone call Feeling desirable, then thrown away like I never mattered, So that's your favorite game, that's why I wanted to protect myself And I hope you'll regret when you're looking at yourself Oh I hope you'll see the monster you are despite all you've preached Making me wait for hours when others can have your attention, Pretending to beg for my forgiveness for meaningless things Calling me in the middle of the night just to ease your guilt, So what were you doing? Well actually no, I don't want to know Cause it would break my heart, it would break me altogether, Your lies and manipulations definitely couldn't be called love Oh I should've run before you put me down, now it's too late A year of making me believe that our love is the most beautifuI, That it must be worth living, and that it will grow as our cloths unfold When you told me you only wanted me, were you dating another? No, cause just in case you'd forgotten, you asked me to be loyal Now I'm really wondering why I've done all that I should've really saved myself instead

[thoughtsinlyrical]

I don't know what to tell you Unless I cut contact before returning to hell And maybe I should miss you, But I don't feel anything at all, I also cut the spell

[thoughtsinlyrical]

If what we're doing is a game, know you win, Cause I miss you like no one else ever has Still remember when you called me your queen, And you were my king for sure, just didn't know how to say If what we're doing is a game, that's a bad one Cause I'm fighting against my own pride Can't remember when was the last time all alone, If you could read my face, you'd see and then I couldn't hide Please remember me, At some point, what could we have been? I pray every single day, you'll come back to me Please remember me If what we're doing is a game, know you win Cause I'm about to break the silence Still remember that you left me on seen, Is it only worthy to let my armor falling to the ground If what we're doing is a game, then I hate it Cause I was not ready to lose you like that Can remember now of how I'm sick Falling in love for such a bad guy Please remember me

[thoughtsinlyrical]

Hey, hey Honey, Tell me how you're doing, I've been a little worried, I was even despairing ... We talked last night, And I gave you my heart again Talked about my plans, And how I wish you were a part of it You didn't answer me, You're always damn busy I wanna know what you think And if it's worth a chance, let's try something I know you're not perfect And you know so I am But if we really want it we can make it right Hey, hey Honey, Tell me how you're doing, I've been a little worried, I was even despairing Hey, hey Honey, At seven hours from me, I wonder if you ever dream of me Time flies too slowly, And I wish you were here right now But you're so cruel to me, Keeping pushing me aside Will you only read me When you wake up? It's important to me to know how you feel Will you only join me tonight? I know you're not perfect, And you know so I am But if you really want it, someday I might be your wife Hey, hey Honey, Tell me how you're doing I've been a little worried, I was even despairing Hey, hey Honey, At seven hours from me I wonder if you ever dream of me Cause I want to be you right-hand man, Your better confident, just give me a chance Cause I want to be your future, Let's live this great adventure You won't regret it... Hey, hey Sweetie, At seven hours from me, I'm trying to keep busy, Hoping you'll come back to me Hey, hey Honey, Tell me how you're doing, I've been a little worried, I was even despairing yeah

Hey, hey Honey, This hour difference is shitty I wonder if you ever think of me If you ever dream of me...

[thoughtsinlyrical]

I choose to free myself from your grip, You will no longer have access to my intimacy, And all you have to do is prove to me That I'm wrong to do it, but I'm sorry I decide to walk away, without hesitation You'll have to wait a while before I feel like talking to you again, And all you have to do is prove to me That in my absence, you'll really miss me If you weren't so stubborn, We wouldn't be in this mess, I did everything I could to hold on, But I can't stand your silences and your lies Honey, I'm leaving… Just for a while, who knows? It's not like you ever cared how much I missed you all the time… Honey, I'm leaving… Might not even be worth coming back for I'm tired of begging you to give me the place I deserve Honey, I'm leaving... I choose to close the doors Of a paradise where only you had access, And all you have to do is prove to me That I really could regret it I've decided not to tell you how much I love you anymore, You never really cared, look you're not even here And all you have to do is show me That all this time you haven't played with my feelings If you tried just a little, We wouldn't be in this mess, I can't make you my priority, I'm sorry, You've just done everything to come to this end And you've taken all the best parts of me, Now I'm pacing around a room thinking about what could've be If only you've never hide your stories, closing your door to me And I can't forget all the promisses you've made I don't feel well, I'm sick and tired as hell You closed your door, making me want more, and more, and more Honey, I'm leaving...

[thoughtsinlyrical]

I don't how we get this way, Was there an expiration date? I think it's coming to an end Or maybe that's what you pretend I don't quite know what to say, Have you even looked at me? Is this just fate? Now I'm afraid it's too late You said it was passion, That we had a connection Lots of words but no actions You'll say you didn't do anything, Yet I'm picking up the pieces of my broken heart Please can you say something, Instead of leaving me there in the dark? You'll say you didn't do anything, But that's exactly why it all failed Please can you say something, Instead of leaving me thinking I've been played? I don't how we get this way, Was it really all in my head? I tried to tell you that I wasn't okay, And everytime I tried, you just ran away I don't quite know what to say, Was it really worth the effort? Is this just fate? I'm scared I'll never open-up this way You said it was passion, That we had a connection, So bring a solution And if I had to do it all over again, Believe me, I'd never even talk to you, If I'd known it was all in vain, I wouldn't have even looked at you

And if I had to do it all over again, Believe me, I'd have protected my heart better, Cause you're just mean, just insane? Never would I have felt so broken

[thoughtsinlyrical]

This is the last time I dare to talk about you, hm I've put my feelings all along to reach out for you, my love And I never meant to hurt you, but so I did and I regret Now I'm just pacing around waiting for a sign that it's not too late You came into my life at a time when I was a real mess You talked to me just like no one ever did, I confess And I didn't want to fall for such a messed-up guy, but I did Now I'm just wishing to be able to bounce back, but I'm too weak And so I wait for you to come back, And tears are falling, sitting in the dark Did you read my last messages? Or just will you? I put all my heart and feelings inside, please can you? Even if it's too late, I'd like you to know what I've done for you And too bad if I have to turn another page of my life, forgetting you 'Cause it's always been you I realize that you never told me your true stories I still wonder if you were sincere everytime you said you were sorry Why was it so important to hide me and all the things we shared? Now I know I'm not the only one who messed things up, honey I don't even know if I'll be able to open my heart again With you it was easy and natural, I've never felt that, this pain I even bought small things for when we were supposed to meet Now I don't know what I'm gonna do of all those things, tell me I don't know if I have to wait for you to come back, I can't stop my tears falling, I feel like a crap Did you read my last messages? Or just will you? I put the real me inside, I wish you knew, won't you? Even if it's too late, I'd like you to know what I feel for you And I'll try to live with the weight of all my regret for hurting you 'Cause it's always been you So many times, I dreamt of our life together, I would've said yes for the worse and better If you would've ever asked, yeah I would've said yes 'Cause it's always been you I remember all your tenderness, despite all your struggles And I wished deep inside that someday you'd find the courage To tell me about you, about everything you've been through I wanted to be there, I wanted you to see me, to touch me, And kiss me, and hold me, and feel me I'm so sorry Did you read my last messages? Or just will you? I know maybe it's too late, but I really wish you do, please do Then maybe it's not too late, I still want to share my life with you And anyway, I'll stay here, I won't make a move, waiting for you 'Cause it's always been you Did you read my last messages? Or just will you? I put all my memories, I won't be able to live without you Maybe it's too much, but I swear it's always been you Yeah it's always been you

[thoughtsinlyrical]

Love at first sight, you feel it in your gut, Distance is a burden that weighs us down so much Things left unsaid, secrets hidden, a few white lies, And suddenly it all explodes 'cause passion's too strong What's left except two broken hearts The tears flow, I do my best but I can't stop them, I take my mind off it, I really try to But whatever I try I can't forget you Heart heavy, thoughts running through my head When you take a step back, you move heaven and earth What are my words for if you don't even listen? Should I give up and deny what's happened? Putting your ego aside isn't a lack of virility tho It's admitting that you screwed up, and that you're willing to change, To make things better, to get things right, to fix what's been broken Do you even have enough maturity for it? I spent whole nights waiting for you Sometimes you never came back, no goodnights, no hello I remember that morning when I woke up at dawn, You'd come home drunk after a party, and at that moment You were happy to see that I was there You looked so happy, so satisfied, so reassured That's the guy I fell for