tiny-breadcrumbs

[tiny-breadcrumbs]

Take my breath away

[tiny-breadcrumbs]

Must not be late to shan gudao funeral

[tiny-breadcrumbs]

Of little dance and rainbow crosswalk

[tiny-breadcrumbs]

While I'm working on another big boi - here is a WIP, probably the first CY face I drew, and am still looking for a way to contextualise it. Should it be lotuses, birds... frames?

Options are sometimes art's biggest enemy... Anyway, here is a shoutout to the lovers of tender!

[tiny-breadcrumbs]

I made a cute bookmark ehehe

[tiny-breadcrumbs]

Li Lianhua saving a bird with the last of his energy.

[tiny-breadcrumbs]

Apparently it's hard to draw emotion with oil pastels... But here another di feisheng appreciation post.

[tiny-breadcrumbs]

attempted another minimalist (digital) ink portrait, got lost in details again! Better luck next time

[tiny-breadcrumbs]

"Guilt"

[tiny-breadcrumbs]

the thing about li lianhua, though, is this:

he would vastly prefer to be ephemeral and unattached to others, but he is also full of desires he's stuffed away for ten years and then when they come roaring back to plague him, he's actually unprepared to face them

the entire text of the show is him being levered out of his decade-long rut of not doing anything much, because first fang duobing and then di feisheng crash-land (back) into his life and wreck his plans of a quiet exit. in this they're duly assisted by qiao wanmian, the rest of the sigu sect, and the whole bevy of charming npcs they meet along the show

but as much as li lianhua complaints, the doctor doth protest too much. because ultimately he lets them in, he allows himself to be roped into friendship and trust and intimacy, and every little gossamer thread of connection is another that he will eventually need to sever again

and still. he can't help it. stop the presses, local man fails spectacularly at non-attachment! under all the lies and schemes and evasions, he wants things and he enjoys people and cannot resist a proper meddle even when he's sagely telling you he's just passing through. under the layers his heart still burns, and that is the tragedy and the wonder of him

even when he has neither world nor time enough, he still entangles himself. it is that constant push and pull within himself that really makes him the Most Character

[tiny-breadcrumbs]

And here he is (sitting on my hard drive, carrying the weight of 2025)

[tiny-breadcrumbs]

Fishing for Di Feisheng

Today’s crying-about-Di-Feisheng thought is fishing-themed: when DFS is captured outside Di Fortress, he was baited with the wangchuan flower, trapped by a hook (well, 2 actually), and was wearing his fish scale themed outfit. 

This is giving me extra feels because of the whole legend of how the carp who swims up a waterfall and leaps the Dragon Gate would become a dragon (thanks for the meta about this, @pastelcheckereddreams), given how much he loves and is associated with waterfalls and that he is wearing a dragon head hairpin with his fish scale robe, and given that the Jinyuan alliance’s symbol is a dragon head. 

(Have a screenshot of the scales + dragon head pin + hooks. Also, DFS bloodied and in pain.)

(I also think DFS was thinking about the legend, too, given that he goes almost to the top of a small waterfall to remove his mind control bug while wearing that outfit and his dragon head hairpin, and thinking about the way the show emphasizes how different this moment is, given that for most of the rest of the show, he’s at the base of waterfalls or the middle tier.)

I’m having additional feelings about the fact that the blue embroidery on the sleeves of that outfit look kind of like a stylized dragon’s face surrounded by either waves or clouds, which would further cement the association

I wish I had a better shot of the sleeves to be confident that the embroidery is a dragon from head-on, with clouds/waves around it, because then it would be even clearer that he was directly invoking this legend when freeing himself from Di Fortress, but either way, it's still very very true that DFS, who generally preferred to wear reds and maroons, had a vibrant blue fish/dragon-accessoried outfit that he had saved to wear for when he finally freed himself.

So, I am crying about the way the narrative has him get caught and trapped like a fish at the moment he thought he was finally free and able to become the powerful dragon-like being that’s been his goal his whole life. 

And how it’s the second time that he’s almost died after having been “fished” by a hook to the shoulder and then nearly been non-consensually married off to a woman (the first time was after he floated downriver from the base of the waterfall after being poisoned by Wuxin Huai).

Anyway, this meta was brought to you by writing my fishing/anniversary post-canon sequel fic (in which DFS has very negative feelings about fishing because of all this) and my phone changing “Di Feisheng” to “Die Fishing.” 

[tiny-breadcrumbs]

This is the reference I used. And a look at the art piece before I added the bushes and the lighting.

[tiny-breadcrumbs]

Some Lotus Tower repair. They broke it, so they get to fix it.

[tiny-breadcrumbs]

What a cruel dream

[tiny-breadcrumbs]

Watch your step, Xiao Bai.

[tiny-breadcrumbs]

The sun, A blue