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Transition for autistic people 

Transitions can be difficult and even neurotypicals struggle with change even if it's not on the same scale. There is no one size fits all solution but there are some tricks I have seen to be useful. If you know that you are going to have to transition ahead of time, setting alarms in advance to remind you of the change can be useful in giving yourself a scheduled time to prepare yourself for the change. This can be a 5 minute warning so you can take extra physical preparation to make sure you have accommodations ready like earbuds, stim toys, or comfort items. It could also be an hour ahead of time so that you can sit with or meditate on what will happen during the transition. Another thing that can help if you are going to a new place, is if you can get a better idea of what it is going to be like before you get there, weather that's looking at the locations website/pictures on google maps, talking to people who have been there before, or going to the location early for whatever plans you have made to scout it out. In my opinion the most important thing is to be kind to yourself and not try to force your way too quickly through a situation that makes you uncomfortable. Even if neurotypicals don’t always understand what you are experiencing, your discomfort is valid. Take the time to care for yourself. 

Transition for neurotypical people 

Everyone experiences discomfort with change but what is considered change is different for those on the spectrum. Even though some transitions may seem small to a neurotypical, when you are aware of the total sensory experience, even the difference between the inside of an air conditioned building  and a windy or hot outdoors can be uncomfortable. Many people with autism are more sensitive and aware of sensory information like smells, brightness, or temperature. Neurotypical people experience this in transitions like getting in and out of the shower or trying to get off of the couch to go to the gym. Even if you know that it is totally safe, and it is something that you want to do it can still be difficult. Even non physical changes like a change in job even when for the better is stressful. Just because someone is having trouble transitioning doesn't mean they don’t want to go or there is something wrong with the location. You can be a good advocate by giving them the time they need to process the transition and asking them how you can help them in the transition. 

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Eye contact explained for autistic people

When neurotypicals talk about eye contact they do not mean they want you to look literally into the eyes of the other person you are having a conversation with. Looking anywhere on their face will pass as eye contact.  I particularly like looking at peoples mouths to focus on what they are saying, and sometimes entertain myself by trying to learn to lip read to thinking about how the mouth shapes would be drawn in animation. Neurotypicals have difficulty knowing if you are paying attention if you are not looking at them. They often have trouble paying attention without looking directly at the person talking so assume you are not listening or do not have your full attention.

Eye contact explained for neurotypical people

While eye contact may seem natural to you, for basically every animal eye contact is considered a threat. If you have worked with dogs you may have been told not to look a scared dog in the eye or even look to the side when trying to approach them. This is not to say that people with autism are animals but that just because it is a societal expectation doesn't mean that it is the “natural” way of doing things.  For people with autism that have different wired neural pathways eye contact can feel unnatural to downright uncomfortable. You have probably felt this before with discomforts around the feeling of people watching you. One of the most common fears is speaking in front of others. The feeling of being observed can be intense. Those with autism can get that same feeling when pressured into making eye connect, even if it is just one person. If you are worried about making sure they are paying attention you can ask for alternative ways of communicating like for them to nod at the end of your sentence or even repeat what they understood from what you were saying once you finish your thought. But remember that those with autism are constantly being asked to bridge the gap in communication. If you want to be a good advocate you should think about changing your behavior and not demanding something you know makes your conversational partner uncomfortable and instead trust that they are paying attention to you.

[tismtranslator]

Autistic person hoping to help explain come common miscommunications between autistic and neurotypical folks. I by no means speak for every person with autism but hope I can open a conversation.