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[tomicscomics]

09/20/2024

KNEEL BEFORE GOD!!!

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JOKE-OGRAPHY: 1. For the past few weeks, I've dragged viewers on a low-budget, self-indulgent exploration of a very specific question I used to have regarding a very particular part of Mass. The Boy (the short one in the blue suit) has acted as our guide through these explorations. The formula ran thuswise: The Boy asks a parishioner his question, the parishioner answers in a way which is reasonable on the surface, the parishioner then justifies their answer in a very unreasonable way, and finally the boy reacts to their absurdity. Indeed, all this time, The Boy has acted as an inquisitive voice of reason. With dignity, he has suffered the silliness of his fellow parishioners. With tranquility, he has immersed himself in the cold deep wet of their madness. All for answers. All for truth. But the cold of the abyss leaves a lingering chill. Even after you emerge, its depth pulls at your mind. Even after you dry, its wet clings to your soul. A man may leave the abyss, but the abyss is not so fickle. Nowhere is this clearer than at the end of this cartoon, for here, the formula is sundered. In this cartoon, it is not the interviewee who echoes the chaos of madness -- it is THE BOY. 2. The priest in this cartoon -- Fr. Fitzgerald -- finally gives the actual answer to the question we've been asking for weeks. However, the answer is basically, "Sticking together is preferred, but not strictly necessary." This unsettles The Boy, because while the answer was meant for the kneeling/sitting question ("Sticking together [by kneeling/sitting at the same time as the rest of the congregation after Communion] is preferred, but not strictly necessary"), the same sentence could be used to excuse to schismatics ("Sticking together [in the Catholic Church] is preferred, but not strictly necessary"). Of course, the priest wasn't saying such a thing, but the scandal of schism blinds The Boy to that fact. You could say he's suffering from aschismatism. You MUST say he's suffering for aSCHISMatism. SAY he's suffering from aSCHISMatism.

[tomicscomics]

09/12/2024

KNEEL before GOD??!

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JOKE-OGRAPHY: This is the fourth in a series of cartoons where the Boy interviews parishioners to answer the elusive question, "When should you sit/kneel after Communion?" Each cartoon has featured parishioners who have different answers, and each answer has been essentially valid: (1) I sit the whole time; (2) I kneel until the tabernacle is closed, then I sit; (3) I kneel until the altar is cleared and the priest sits, then I sit; or (4) I kneel the whole time. In each cartoon, however, the valid answer has been followed by some comment that makes the interviewee sound silly. This is because I am ostensibly a comedian, and if my comics don't have a punchline, I am bound by oath to grill a part of my body in penance to my patron, St. Lawrence. Though it might spoil the ending of the series, I think it's important to share in each "Joke-ography" that the true answer to the question of when to sit/kneel after Communion is that it's up to the individual, but congregational unity is encouraged when possible.

[tomicscomics]

09/06/2024

Kneel before God?!

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JOKE-OGRAPHY: Over the last couple weeks, I've been making comics about when some Catholics kneel/sit after Communion. While the official rules allow for either, and the intention of the rules is for congregational unity, some Catholics have strong opinions of their own. In this cartoon, The Boy interviews a man who believes the optimal time to sit after Communion is after the priest sits. He calls this move "the Priester Keister" as in "the priest's butt," and The Boy informs him that this is an unsuitable name for any holy thing.

[tomicscomics]

08/30/2024

Kneel before God!

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JOKE-OGRAPHY: Following from the last cartoon, the notorious child, "The Boy," plays reporter and interviews laypeople about when they choose to sit or kneel during the time after Communion. When he interviews the young lady in this cartoon, she explains that she kneels and prays until the Eucharist (specifically the bread that's become the Body of Christ) is returned to the tabernacle (usually a shiny box that sits behind the altar under the big crucifix at the head of a Catholic church). A lot of the parishioners at my local churches follow this tradition, as if waiting for Jesus to be seated before seating themselves. However, this young lady has a slightly confused understanding of tradition, transubstantiation, and tracheotomies (though that last one isn't explored in this cartoon).

[tomicscomics]

08/23/2024

Kneel before God.

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JOKE-OGRAPHY: In this cartoon, one of the oldest surviving cast members of Tomics -- the Boy -- returns as a junior reporter to ask some of the most important questions about the Faith, such as when we sit or kneel after Communion. Towards the end of the normal Catholic Sunday Mass, everyone lines up, receives the Eucharist, then returns to their pews to pray and reflect until the priest asks them to stand for the final blessing. While praying before that direction to stand, the faithful are welcome to sit or kneel as they see fit. In his interview, the Boy asks a fancy woman whether she sits or kneels after Communion, and she says she sits. That would normally be a fine answer, but then she clarifies that she doesn't sit in her PEW; she sits in her CAR so she can get out of the parking lot before the rest of the Mass-goers exit the church. This is a little poke at people who rush out of Mass right after Communion, which should really only be done in emergencies, not just to beat traffic by skipping the actual end of Mass. Just a little good-natured poke, you see. Maybe even the best-natured, if I'm being honest. They all tell me, "Tom, your natured really is very good." That's what they tell me. They've never seen a natured quite like it.

[tomicscomics]

08/16/2024

Our deacon shared this anecdote last week at Mass. It's a little different each time I hear it, but the moral is always the same.

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JOKE-OGRAPHY:

1. This cartoon is based on a widespread but often mutated anecdote. There are lots of versions, so I'm not sure what the original story is (share it in the comments if you know), but the two versions I heard recently go thuswise:

(1) An atheist goes up to a Christian and says, "If I believed what you say you believe about Judgment Day and the fate of those who reject Christ, I would crawl across the world on broken glass, begging every single person to repent."

(2) A Catholic and a Protestant walk together, but as they pass a Catholic church, the Catholic bows and makes the Sign of the Cross, as a sign of respect for the Eucharist inside. His Protestant friend says, "If I believed what you say you believe about the Real Presence of Jesus in the Eucharist, I would crawl to that altar on my hands and knees."

(Breakdown) In every version of the story I've heard, there are two characters: a faithful person and an accuser of some kind. The faithful is usually doing some small gesture of their faith, which the accuser sees as insufficient for the level of belief the faithful claims to have. I want to clarify that no one expects for evangelists to walk on broken glass forever to preach to everyone in the entire world, or for Catholics to crawl up and worship at every tabernacle they pass on a drive. We're human, so we need to find ways to manifest worship or evangelism while also going about our normal healthy lives with each other. Sometimes those ways are imperfect and small, and that's okay, as long as we're really trying. The accuser's point is hyperbolic, but nonetheless poignant.

(Moral) No matter which version of the story you hear, I think the question it poses remains the same: "Is our faith more than just talk?" It's easy to say we believe in God, but what does that belief do? It's a monumental claim, isn't it? Maybe the MOST monumental claim you could make. It seems like it should have a monumental impact on EVERYTHING we do, but instead, life just kind of moves along. How can we dare to claim that we actually believe? What does believing even mean, if it doesn't manifest itself in more than our words? Big questions from such a small story.

2. Our deacon recited the Eucharist-version of this story last week at Mass, and it made me want to illustrate it. I'm sorry this cartoon isn't gut-bustingly hilarious. Here, let me make it up to you with a fun joke. Knock knock.

[tomicscomics]

08/09/2024

Happy (almost) feast day of St. Lawrence, my patron saint!

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JOKE-OGRAPHY:

St. Lawrence was a deacon of Rome in the mid-200s during a time of heavy persecution. When the prefect of Rome demanded all the treasures of the Church, Lawrence asked for a few days to gather it all together. In those few days, he gave all the material wealth of the Church to the poor. When it came time to face the prefect, Lawrence showed up, not with gold and jewels, but with a crowd of poor people, declaring, "Behold, these are the treasures of the Church." The prefect was so amused by this that he had Lawrence roasted alive on a gridiron. Just before he died, Lawrence gave one last quip: "Turn me over, I'm done on this side." Hence, he's the patron saint of cooks and comedians.

[tomicscomics]

08/02/2024

The materialist vs. religious zitgeist.

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JOKE-OGRAPHY: 1. In this Bible story, Jesus multiplies a little bread and fish to feed a huge crowd. When the crowd continues following Him, Jesus notices that they aren't following because they think His miracles confirm that He was sent by God. Instead, they're just following Him because His most recent miracle made them some tasty food. They're only in it for the material benefits of the miracles, not the message behind them. 2. In this cartoon, a man declares that he's going to become a follower of Jesus, and only for the purest intentions, though it's pretty clear that he's a little more interested in the wine, food, water-walking, and healthcare options that following the Miracle-Man with a Plan would offer. 3. As we all know from oral tradition, when Jesus is asked to heal the man's weird toe zit, He does so. However instead of the zit disappearing, the man horrifyingly shrivels into nothing, screaming wretchedly the whole time. Only his zit remains in the end. It just goes to show that you never know where your soul is in your body at any given time. At that moment, the man's soul happened to be coursing through his zit, so by heavenly technicality, HE was the growth to be eradicated.

[tomicscomics]

07/26/2024

When the carnivore diet gets out of hand.

JOKE-OGRAPHY: 1. In this Bible story, Jesus and His disciples go to rest on a mountainside, but a big crowd of followers tracks them down. They want to hear more of Jesus's cool Jesus-words and see more of Jesus's cool Jesus-deeds. Jesus asks Philip what they can feed everyone, and Philip replies incredulously that it'd cost 200 days' wages to buy everyone something little. Of course, Jesus was only testing his faith with one of His many Jesus-tricks. Then Andrew appears, escorting a kid who offers to share a few fish and some loaves of bread. Jesus accepts the food and passes some out to everyone, and somehow, there's plenty for over 5000 men (not including families that might have been with them). When Jesus asks His disciples to clean up, the leftovers fill twelve baskets -- way more than they started with. The people are all wowed, dazzled, and amused. 2. In this cartoon, I inject an extra bit of dialogue into the story. When Andrew introduces the boy, Jesus assumes Andrew is suggesting they eat the child, causing Andrew to panic until the boy clarifies his true purpose. Of course, Jesus only said this to test them, for He Himself knew what He was going to do (John 6:6), and is just being super hilarious.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This cartoon is a Tomics "Second Coming," where I've taken an ancient comic that was already resurrected, and redraw it once again. You'll notice through these iterations that it's gone back and forth between length, but the pacing remains roughly the same throughout. The first version features my ancient desaturated style in all its boring wonder. The second features brighter colors but strangely greenish skin, and also a shorter and more to-the-point format. I think I prefer the longer version for setting a scene, but I could go either way -- and I have! Anyway, it's a very exclusive status for one of my comics to be redrawn twice. Maybe one day I'll redraw it a third time, but for now, how does it compare to its past selves?

[tomicscomics]

07/19/2024

Happy (almost) Feast of St. Mary Magdalene!

JOKE-OGRAPHY: 1. The Feast Day: This comic is based on the Catholic Church's scheduled readings for the Feast of St. Mary Magdalene (July 22, 2024). The Old Testament reading will be a portion of a love poem from Song of Songs 3:1-4. The Gospel reading will be the story of Mary Magdalene's encounter with Jesus after His resurrection, from John 20:1-17. 2. Song of Songs: The poem is about a woman searching everywhere for her missing lover. The poem's story is very cute on a literal level, but it also symbolizes the human heart's desperate yearning for the divine. For this cartoon, I rewrote the poem just slightly, keeping the story and pacing intact, but making it flow and rhyme in English. I hope I did alright! 3. Gospel of John: Days after Jesus is crucified and buried, Mary Magdalene visits His tomb but finds it open and empty. She runs to the apostles and tells them that someone stole Jesus's body. They come to investigate the tomb, but leave befuddled. While Mary stays and weeps by the open tomb, two angels appear inside and ask why she's crying. When she explains her sorrow, she's suddenly asked the same thing by Jesus, Who's appeared beside her, though she doesn't recognize Him until He says her name. 4. The Readings Combined: These two stories complement each other perfectly. All human relationships can be seen as reflections, shadows, or branches of the one relationship which every soul was created for: communion with God. By using the context of a human relationship, the poem gives a relatable, human voice to the soul's lofty instinctual longing. Read alongside Mary Magdalene's despair when she thinks she's lost her God, and her joy when she finds Him again, the poem's literal and symbolic meanings become one. It's an excellent pairing of readings by the Church, I must say. They may be on to something. I shall be watching their career with great interest.

[tomicscomics]

07/12/2024

BATHomet is all washed up?!

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JOKE-OGRAPHY: In this Bible story, Jesus sends His disciples out to preach, heal, and cast out unclean spirits in His Name. This cartoon imagines a fictional encounter between Peter and one of these unclean spirits. The word "unclean" can have two meanings: (1) dirty and unwashed, or (2) evil and goodless. While demons are unclean according to definition #2, this one seems to think he can get around the "unclean" title by bathing and becoming clean according to definition #1. Despite his efforts, when Peter blesses the water he's bathing in, it turns into holy water and repels the demon anyway.

[tomicscomics]

07/05/2024

"So what you're saying is..."

JOKE-OGRAPHY: 1. In this Bible story, Jesus returns to His hometown and preaches in the synagogue, and while His old neighbors are astonished at first, their familiarity with Him makes them skeptical of His role as Messiah. After all, they watched Him grow up, and they know His family personally. Surely the Jesus they watched crawl, walk, work, and play couldn't be someone special. 2. In this cartoon, the skeptic names three reasons Jesus can't be a prophet. 1st, He used to have a regular job as a carpenter. 2nd, He used to play around with family like any kid. 3rd, His mother used to hang His laundry to dry. It's all so familiar and mundane, and not at all mystical or "prophety." In response, the other guy points out that the skeptic has basically said real prophets must have no job (1), no family or friends (2), and no underwear (3). 3. I'm a lifelong Catholic, so I'm very familiar with my faith. So familiar that, like Jesus's neighbors, I sometimes take it for granted. I daydream during Mass. I think about work during prayer. I become numb to the love and sacrifice of the Eucharist. Meanwhile, there are converts who weep for joy at their baptisms. They see the truth with fresh eyes, and I'd see too if I'd take the effort to remove the blinders of familiarity. Faith is a boundless treasure, the Mass is a daily miracle, prayer is an open channel to the God of the universe, life is a gift, and Jesus is more than a neighbor.

[tomicscomics]

06/28/2024

Me every morning.

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JOKE-OGRAPHY: 1. In the Bible story leading up to this event, Jesus is asked by a synagogue official named Jairus to come heal his sick daughter. On the way, Jesus gets stuck in a big crowd, and by the time He makes it to Jairus's house, his daughter is dead. The folks there mourn until Jesus tells them the girl is just sleeping, then they ridicule Him. He tosses them out, and brings only the girl's parents and a few of His disciples inside. Then He takes the dead girl's hand and orders her to rise, and she comes back to life. Lastly, He asks that she be brought something to eat. 2. In this cartoon, we just see the part where Jesus calms Jairus's despair and brings the girl back, but instead of taking her hand, Jesus pokes her cheek. She comes back to life, though groggily, so He pokes her again and tells her that she has to get up. This interaction is based off my entire childhood of either waking up or being woken up by siblings. "Poke, poke, you have to get up, poke, poke, Mom said so, poke, poke."

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is yet another "Tomics Resurrection," where I've taken an old cartoon, pale and still with death, and poked it until its color and breath returned. Like last week, this is a cartoon that's about a decade old now, and well overdue for a tune-up in my current style. In general, the last three panels remained the same in terms of dialogue and framing, with only the character designs and colors being updated. In the first panel, however, the original had a doctor scolding Jesus, while the resurrected version has Jairus, the girl's father, mourning for her. Jesus's smiling response to the doctor in the original is hence replaced with a very sober response to the sad father, and the dialogue is adjusted to reflect the new tone. How does it compare?

[tomicscomics]

06/21/2024

That boat is seaworthy... but is the sea worthy?

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JOKE-OGRAPHY:

1. In this Bible story, Jesus and His disciples set out onto the water to travel somewhere, but along the way, a storm appears. The disciples panic and wake Jesus -- Who was taking a nap -- and ask how He can sleep while they're about to die. Jesus tells them to calm down, then tells the storm to the the same, and everyone/thing listens to Him.

2. In this cartoon, I basically tell the same story in simpler terms, but I also give the crashing wave a face and a redemptive character arc, because I find unbalanced joy in personifying natural forces and making them bow to God.

3. In the first panel, the "KILL US ALL" line (in addition to Peter and Andrew's faces) are a reference, but I've decided to play coy about their inspiration. Still, you're free to try some guessing. I'd enjoy a little game. And just to show you have my blessing, take this hint: my very name.

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

By the way, this is actually another "Tomics Resurrection," where I've taken an old cartoon and drowned it in the cold, sucking darkness of ⋆✧RENEWAL✧⋆! It's like baptism! And hold onto your wrinkles, old-timers, 'cause this resurrection is pulling from the very first year of Tomics! That's right, the old and new versions are a DECADE apart! I fully redrew it (as usual) and updated the dialogue and color selection, but I liked the framing and pacing of the original, so the actual meat of the comic remained the same. How does it compare?

[tomicscomics]

06/14/2024

Happy (almost) Father's Day!

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JOKE-OGRAPHY: In American Human Slang, coffee is sometimes called a "cup of joe" (a term of debated origin). In this cartoon, St. Joseph (Jesus's earthly foster-father) enjoys a steaming cup of coffee and refers to it as a "cup o' joe." Jesus asks why he calls it that, and Joseph jests that coffee is called a "cup of joe" because it's made out of people named Joe. Jesus correctly reminds Joseph that he's named Joe ("Joe" is short for "Joseph"). Joseph pretends to be realizing this for the first time, then also "realizes" that his arm is missing. He's actually tucked it into his cloak, leaving his sleeve empty, all for the purpose of convincing Jesus that someone made this pot of coffee out of Joseph's own body parts.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: ///FILE ACCESS APPROVED ///SUBJECT :: T-161 ///FIRST CONTACT :: 2017-02-22 ///CLASSIFICATIONS :: Anac + Para/Wp + SoL + FF/PfP ///THREAT LEVEL :: Safe for Non-Physical Observation (Under Review) ///FIELD REPORT 001-26-11-00002 :: I found one of my old cartoons! Probably originally drawn around 1905. Now that the Great War has hit a lull, perhaps we can pull THAT off. You know: a Tomics Resurrection. I've heard of them before. We could redraw this old cartoon, improving the saturation, swapping the cold green hue for a warmer yellow, and updating the character designs with their current variants as of [REDACTED]. With the new technologies available, there's even a guaranteed survival rate of 26%, so the odds are in favor of at least one of us living past the process of [REDACTED] with minimal organ damage. Oh, and before I forget, here's the original cartoon, de-aged to a legible status once more.

[tomicscomics]

06/07/2024

Wishing you all a blessed Solemnity of the Most Sacred Heart of Jesus!

JOKE-OGRAPHY:

1. The Sacred Heart: In Catholic tradition, the month of June is dedicated to the Sacred Heart of Jesus, a devotion which sees Jesus's heart as a symbol of God's boundless love for humanity. Moreover, the Solemnity of the Most Sacred Heart of Jesus is being celebrated today (June 7th) this year.

2. Original Imagery: The Sacred Heart is depicted as a human heart wreathed by thorns (like Jesus's crown of thorns) and divine flames/light, with a bleeding wound in the side (a reference to Jesus's postmortem spear-wound), and topped off with a cross (for obvious reasons).

3. My Imagery: In this piece, I depict the Sacred Heart in three stages, separating the symbolism into simple parts and relating them to Jesus's Passion, death, and resurrection.

4. Wordplay: A few years ago, I was struck by the similarity between the words scared, scarred, and sacred, and knew I had to use them together for some kind of wordplay. I just didn't know what kind of wordplay would fit. I usually use my wordsmithing for dumb jokes, but this felt like it needed a different approach, so I waited and wondered until an idea finally hit me just in time for the Month of the Sacred Heart!

5. Fun-Fact: I think this piece marks the first time I've depicted Jesus crucified in Tomics. It's not in my usual style or tone, but that's because those are geared towards comedy, and this is meant to be reverent.

[tomicscomics]

05/31/2024

Continuing from the previous cartoon, St. Joan of Arc's sleepover reaches its THRILLING CONCLUSION?! (Yes, this is based on an actual true story.)

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JOKE-OGRAPHY:

1. Source: After all this time, we finally see the full picture. Now witness the full source from which this ridiculous-but-more-or-less-authentic story arc was spawned -- a portion of St. Joan's trial (translated by W. S. Scott): "Asked if she knew Catherine de la Rochelle, or had seen her, [Jeanne] said yes, at Jargeau; and at Montfaucon-en-Berry. Asked whether [Catherine] had shown her a woman dressed in white, who she said sometimes appeared to her, [Jeanne] answered no. Asked what she said to her, [Jeanne] answered that this Catherine said to her that a woman appeared, a white lady, dressed in cloth of gold, who told her to go through the good towns, and that the king would give her heralds and trumpets to proclaim that whoever had gold, silver, or treasure should at once bring it forth; and that she would know those who did not and those who had hidden it; and would know where to find the treasure; and it would serve to pay Jeanne's men-at-arms. To which she had answered that she should return to her husband, and look after her household and children. And, in order to be certain of the truth, she had spoken to Saint Catherine and Saint Margaret, who told her that this Catherine was mad and a liar. So she wrote to her king that she would tell him what ought to be done. And when she arrived, she informed him that Catherine was only a fool and a liar. However, Brother Richard wanted them to set her to work, which she [Jeanne] would not permit, wherefore Brother Richard and Catherine were displeased with her. Asked if she had spoken to Catherine de la Rochelle concerning going to La Charité, [Jeanne] replied that Catherine did not advise her to go there; saying that it was too cold, and she ought not to go. She said also to Catherine, who wished to go to the Duke of Burgundy to make peace, that it was her opinion that they would find no peace save at the lance's point. She also asked Catherine if this Lady appeared every night; and if so, she would sleep with her. And she did so, but kept awake till midnight; saw nothing, and then went to sleep. And when morning came, she asked if the Lady had appeared. And [Catherine] answered that she had come, but [Jeanne] was asleep, and she had not been able to wake her. So [Jeanne] asked her if the Lady would come the next night. And Catherine said yes. On this account Jeanne slept during the day in order that she might keep awake at night. And she shared Catherine's bed again the following night, and kept awake throughout the night. But she saw no-one, although she often asked, Will she come soon? To which Catherine answered, Yes, soon."

2. Explanation: In short, Joan met Catherine, and while the two might have gotten along at first, their visions eventually told them very different things, and Joan started to distrust Catherine. Eventually, Joan asked Catherine if her visions were visible to everyone and if they would appear every night. Catherine said yes, so Joan stayed over to see the vision. After falling asleep at midnight the first night, she managed to stay away the whole second night, but saw nothing. She took this to mean Catherine was a liar and a madwoman, and that was that.

3. Pun: In the fourth panel, the second narration says that Catherine was "lying" beside Joan. There are two kinds of "lying": one means "resting on a surface," and the other means "deliberately saying something untrue." Because Catherine is lying (resting) on a bed, but also lying (untruthing) to Joan about the White Lady, both definitions are valid AND grammatically correct. Hence, this is a perfect pun, and I demand all due compensation.