tommyoboe

[tommyoboe]

YEAR THREE.

I am enjoying the sounds of the end of term dying away. Faint conversations and cars gliding up the road. Sat here, having had an Oddkin coffee with Cameron, gazing at our new HAY desk lamp, I would say life is pretty sweet.

Admittedly, I couldn’t really be bothered to write a blog post but I had all these ideas collated so I thought let’s finish something I’ve started. I got ChatGPT to give me a template but I pretty much hated it, as did Cameron. I thought, oh no, do I really sound that pretentious? (Yes.) So I decided to be authentically pretentious as in all my other blog posts.

I would sum up the year as being transitional. I have had some dark spells that have allowed me to make meaningful decisions that carry a sense of progression. Gigs haven’t been plentiful but for both me and Cameron, we are enjoying regular performance opportunities now, and that has been nice. It has been a joy watching Cameron flourish with The Soul Connection, a ten piece band taking to concert venues and festivals all around the Midlands. Highlights have been life changing cannoli and cheesecakes, and unleashing questionable dance moves with Cameron’s mum, my new dance partner!

For myself, playing has been the gateway to wonderful opportunities, fun people, but moments of immense anxiety as well. Almost every rehearsal and every concert has had me in anxious fits in the lead up, where I have often had to tell myself to sit up straight, talk slowly and beam confidence, even if I have wanted to crawl up into my snail shell. However, when overcoming these scenarios they have genuinely felt like mountain level accomplishments, from surprising (and tipsy) post-gig train catchups to playing once again with professional ensembles and being called ‘delicious’ at the last one (I think that was a compliment) to reconnecting with musicians here in Birmingham through projects with the Sinfonia of Birmingham, Kimichi Orchestra and Birmingham Philharmonic Orchestra. One of this year’s standout projects was playing three Stravinsky ballets with the Kimichi Orchestra. I loved leading an oboe section that was brilliant and supportive through some of my favourite repertoire.

I got to play film music with the CBSO in November, including a questionable arrangement of Baby Shark, Haydn with Manchester Camerata last month, and next week I will be recording some contemporary repertoire with the latter group. It’s been a confidence boost to be asked to play professionally, despite me feeling petrified performing with phenomenal musicians. Coping with the high standard and going into environments as the new person has been daunting, but in hindsight always worth it. Two years ago I had a nice spell of being asked to do professional freelance gigs, and it genuinely felt very nice. Perhaps I’m beginning to get back to that point?

Last summer I was fortunate enough to take part in the Voksenåsen Summer Academy for Winds in beautiful Oslo. The course itself was quite stressful. The nerves I already felt became more pronounced as I entered the hotel canteen where I was confronted by the majority of people speaking in Norwegian (I don’t know why I was surprised as we were in the capital of Norway), but I was soon assured that the course itself was in English. Thank goodness, as all I could do in Norwegian was bark various beverage items.

The other oboists were effortlessly fabulous and my level was nowhere near these heights. This was often overwhelming so I felt I wasn’t the best student when it came to receiving advice. I would sometimes say I understood something and be caught out moments later. This is something I really struggle with generally, as my mind is so clouded. There were some awesome highlights though, taking home some new cool tips and tricks, visiting the Øvresetertjern lake to read a book and be in fresh nature, knowing this is how life should be lived, and enjoying coffee and cake in a cute hillside café, as well as lots of wine and laughs on the final night. The city itself was glorious and somewhere I have definitely taken inspiration from.

A lovely compilation of travels made up last summer. For my birthday we visited Cheltenham. Sensational Slō Coffee delivered to go with revitalising greenery; cute houses were abundant; we walked through the gorgeous Montpelier district, enjoyed divine deli treats, plants galore including a dream cactus, and orange wine from Four Cats. The day itself back home was filled with simple moments like a salted coffee from Tranquil 1992; extraordinary Watchhouse filter coffee that went far too quickly; cherry fondant fancies from Betty’s; exquisite presents from Hoptimist, Studio Arhoj and Arket, and Rudy’s, which always delivers.

Cameron and I had some restful days in my home city of Hull, including a first visit to Still, cute Beverley and catching up with my friend Lizzie over hot chocolates at our teenage favourite Planet Coffee (very Friends-esque). Berlin followed, a life affirming trip where I established ‘the new happy’, a belief that life can be wonderful in the right setting with the right people. That sense of freedom is nothing I ever experience in the UK, perhaps with a couple of small exceptions. London often delivers here, like our now annual summer trip. We focussed on Coal Drops Yard near King’s Cross. There was burrata topped pizza with pink cocktails, then Watchhouse for superb filter coffee in Shoreditch and many shopping delights inbetween. It was a time of not putting up barriers and instead making quick and impulsive choices and having fun.

Of course, September reared its head and pounced right on to me. New four day weeks were an exciting prospect but the reality was still one where I was constantly tired and grouchy. I had a strong desire to return to more enjoyable times and bring some change to proceedings. These included being abroad, principally playing oboe for a living and having a high quality of life where I am constantly invigorated. We did ease ourselves into the new academic year though with late summer coffees in the sunshine and a trip to Manchester for Cameron’s birthday. We bought plants from Nice Things, burgers at the Mackie Mayor food hall, Idle Hands pies/coffee and Gooey cookies. Strolls around the New Islington Marina and purchasing a new Studio Arhoj blob were also happy moments.

As October arrived I began thinking more seriously about routes to Berlin and found it near impossible, with fluent German required for many jobs, six years of extra study required to be a music teacher and an insane ability at my instrument required to advance in the orchestral world, with jobs that are a step back from what I’m doing now appearing as the only alternative. As the year has progressed, I have felt compelled to act and go for some orchestral auditions, recognising this as part of the process.

Coming together with Tuutla Winds for our first quintet gig was lovely, as was Yardbirds and Couch with Cameron, his mum and brother. Half term finally arrived and we celebrated with Coffee Bar, the short lived but fabulous Deadstock in Birmingham and Liquor Store for awe inspiring clothing. We revelled in one of the best meals of all time at Tropea, including pumpkin arancini and duck ragu, and discovered the cute city of Lichfield.

Christmas was difficult this year. All the main ingredients were there: family to come home to, a place for me to stay that was warm and cosy (thanks Ma), and lots of cups of tea, but somehow I felt awkward and not myself. Perhaps spending ten days at home was not the best move but I was excited to as I don’t get to do this often, and it offered some more in depth catchups with family and friends. Cameron and I also went to York, where we savoured Knoops hot chocolate, Betty’s rostis, dvine coffee, cookies and wine from Vi, plus adorable streets that exuded Christmas. Despite all these lovely things, having the time to reflect made me feel unhappy with where I was in life at that moment, especially with full on teaching and only a sprinkling of playing. This affected me much more once back in Birmingham. I was at the lowest point I ever felt, and it was at this point I realised my job situation had to change in order to feel any progression and renewed vigour. This extended into sleep patterns, the type of work and location, drinking water and exercise, and general stressing about everything in life.

Deep, dark winter did bring some lanterns of joy, including an overnight stay in Bristol; discovering new gems like J & H in Birmingham’s Chinese Quarter and finding simple joys like Berlin research in my favourite Coventry coffee shop and my sister introducing me to a new magazine. Cameron and I enjoyed divine Cuubo (French onion soup of dreams) and a stint with the Young Musicians Symphony Orchestra. This was hard in terms of playing but I loved being back in bustling London, feeling liberated once more. I had an unsuccessful but beneficial Royal Philharmonic Orchestra audition; lunch with a new oboe friend, and a nice day at Camden Market and Special Guests Coffee with Cameron. We saw fantastic artists at the Moco Museum, then checked out Watchhouse Marble Arch – adorable. I made fabulous maple toddies once home and we celebrated Lizzie’s birthday with her and pals in Bristol. Safe to say, Cameron and I still made time to go to Sweven Coffee and a divine deli for pizza.

By April I was beginning to make the transition: job changes were on the horizon and I was beginning to see the work I needed to improve my abilities and wellbeing. It was a busy time with an audition for the RLPO Emerging Artists scheme and an hour and a half recital in the Isle of Man. Easter was most welcome. We filled this with chocolate (obviously), cute walks to duck filled ponds and Vietnamese coffee. Shrewsbury then beckoned for a first visit, which surpassed our expectations. It had Georgian architecture, fellow proud Marxists and stationery that was honestly too nice to use for teaching children. We had stop offs at Oath Coffee (definite future Scandi living room vibes with sleek soft furnishings and cosy floor lighting) and we even found a lovely spot for orange wine!

The Isle of Man was surreal. It was super clean, full of vibrant colours, particularly in  Peel and Laxey. The recital itself was largely successful – the Howells Sonata for Oboe and Piano particularly came together nicely. We stayed in beautiful Bride, with lovely hosts that gave us everything we could need and more. It made for a super getaway.

I was emboldened to quit my music service job here in Birmingham, despite it genuinely giving me some great things, and making the moves to return to kin., which have succeeded! I'm excited to return to the warm ambience of this design retreat.

May included a record third visit this year to Bristol. Despite this being quick and laser focussed on a few key highlights, this was a wonderful trip and for me an indicator that over the last few months my mental health has turned a corner. Therapy has been a key driver in this, just being allowed to talk freely and discover that I can be playful and free and do the crazy things that come to mind. Bristol itself was exquisite, featuring melty cheese toasties and dark chocolate doughnuts at Small Goods (iconic), artsy Bedminster in the sunshine, Sweven coffee (of course), for filter coffee and Italian baked goods, and Ustudio. Here the space burst with colour and a Kinta teapot and new Studio Arhoj blob were secured. A walk along the canal at Redcliffe was a particularly satisfying end to the trip.

Following my gig with Manchester Camerata in June I have felt focussed on further improving my abilities, especially when it comes to reeds. I caught up with one of my old teachers and music service friends – both have given me much appreciated advice. I got a new blade for my profiling machine and had a solo day in London. Watchhouse Fitzrovia hit the spot, with complimentary batch brew and excellent customer service. As the temperatures soared back in Birmingham, I took part in a 125th anniversary gig with the University of Birmingham Philharmonic Orchestra. It was fun to do something low pressure in a festival setting. Ben Shepherd was hosting, so I spent most of the time telling people who he is. “You know, This Morning, Tipping Point…” Blank youthful expressions followed.

Cameron and I enjoyed a catch up with our friends Izzy and Olly, soon to be married, over Early Bird Bakery brunch. The Korean chicken burger was quite the treat. New second hand goods like a Japanese teal jacket and vibrant glass mugs were secured from Unearthed, to go with our Sweven filter coffee and chocolate hazelnut cookie back home.

This month has seen the completion of the academic year, and honestly it feels so good. I turned 28 a couple of days ago knowing that things will begin to improve, I’m already practising more and giving myself time to rest, and of course, enjoying simple pleasures like a full weekend in Cheltenham. We savoured iced Vietnamese coffee; more promenade strolling; cute side streets dotted with homeware stores; delightful recording stores; salt beef sandwiches; The Union Project with smatterings of Studio Arhoj and Kinto, and The Scandinavian Coffee Pod for V60s and free pistachio croissants. Deya was a sublime destination for pizza and craft beer in the summer sun; Slō coffee gave us brews with notes of Neapolitan ice cream; there was Georgian architecture galore; Baker and Graze offered us arancini and smashed avocado on toast, and we ended our trip with people watching in the Montpelier and Imperial Gardens.

What a mammoth year! I think I’m beginning to feel more balanced. My perspective on good and bad days is shifting. I’m listening to my intuition more. And just going for life! I’ll always have anxiety. But having been inspired by Oliver Burkeman’s Four Thousand Weeks, I have come to discover that life won’t begin only when I have achieved my ultimate dreams. I’m excited to enjoy the process again, enjoy summer’s slow routines and get in touch with my Parisian self once more.

And maybe learn some French again!

Salut.

[tommyoboe]

OSLO 2024.

Hiya. How are you doing. I'm OK, just a bit exhausted after what has been a draining year. I reflected on a deeper level in my Year Two entry but I have spent much of the time feeling quite unhappy.

Not to shut this away, but I did go to Oslo three weeks ago, and had a fantastic time.

This is an underated city with much to give, and this post summarises a few of my personal highlights during three whirlwind days in the Norwegian capital.

The purpose of the visit was to audition for a coveted oboe spot in a top orchestra. To be selected to take part was exciting for sure. However, I felt a sense of unease as I approached my Airbnb in the district of Grønland, with the outside of the building this tall unwelcoming gate, and inside an austere courtyard revealed itself. I had to take a few moments to really calm myself once inside, as this was my first solo trip abroad since the pandemic of 2020. I then realised the need to take control and make this trip one that I could look back on fondly, so I began to do that.

The Airbnb I chose was ideal for my short trip. My host was highly responsive and helpful and good to chat to. I ended up having a much more comfortable stay than anticipated, with a large cosy room that I could happily retire to at the end of the day with sofa and double bed. Grønland itself is a diverse part of town, with many amneties in walking distance, including huge supermarkets, coffee shops and next door to us was a beautiful bakery that supplied my breakfasts! Backstube had a fabulous array of goods to choose from each day. I honestly don't think I've seen much like this in the UK, and to have this just next door was a delight.

I enjoyed exploring the neighbourhood of Grünerløkka. Here I took in colourful streets in pastel blues and yellows; starry lights hooked to otherwise shedded trees; streetlights aplenty, and the world's best coffee shop, Tim Wendelboe. My fascination and love of coffee is no secret, so I was in my happy place in this cosy corner of the city. I just had a filter coffee (from a filter menu, yes please!) to accompany my walk, but oh my god it was amazing. Fruity and warming and just uplifting.

Oslo really knows how to light up its streets. The sun doesn't rise in winter until almost 9am and by 3:30pm it has just about set, but you don't feel this at all when you're hugged from every angle by these vibrant lights. Some are more Christmassy than others with it being December, but not overtly so. As I transversed on to narrow paths, I was surrounded by apartments characterised from above by their lit facades, and this was really lovely.

After a brief practice of the material for the following day's audition, I took myself out for a solo meal. I did feel somewhat strange going to a restaurant by myself, but if I do more travelling around Europe, it's definitely something I would do again. I felt the warm embrace of Mamma Pizza straightaway, and the carbonara was possibly the best I have had in all my years in this existence. I returned to the flat with a full and satisfied stomach and mind as I settled down for the night.

I had the pleasure of staying with another oboist doing the same audition as me during my time in Oslo. It was a surprise when I found out but we quickly got chatting and were supportive of each other in our joint aim. We fuelled ourselves on the audition morning and embarked to the Opera House for the main event. Here we met around twenty other oboists before we were taken to a waiting room. We then drew lots to decide the order of play. I was third so was escorted to a practice room to warm up. I proceeded to play a bit, mostly little scales and long notes, before putting my oboe down and relaxing briefly. Things were taking a while, and my understanding was that when the first person to audition was selected, we would move rooms. I was incorrect in this assumption, and was hasty when I was informed it was time to do the audition. In that moment I felt I fucked it, as when I went to the room to play behind a screen, I was shaky and nervous, not feeling composed as I bumbled through an accurate but under confident set of excerpts. I knew by the end of the audition it hadn't gone to plan, but that's OK.

The news came a couple of hours later, once I had had time to relax and socialise with some of the other oboists. Just five of the candidates reached the second round, so the rest of us were on our way, including me and my new flatmate. It was actually fine, and I know not to make assumptions again. I was happy in the moment to have just put myself out there and do something properly meaningful.

We walked through the striking Barcode Project and back to the Airbnb to debrief. That didn't stop me from heading swiftly back out to explore. I immediately set myself up at Papegøye with a filter coffee and chocolate chip cookie, and there I embraced yet more cosiness, letting the world go by with a book. It was basically perfect. I took a long walk back to Grünerløkka to browse shops and survey food options. I didn't stay long with the impending rain, but bought some small gifts and some pasta for my tea back at the flat. And then I gave myself ample time to sleep for once in my life, which felt terrific.

My final day was one to simply relax and enjoy everything Oslo had to offer. I enjoyed yet more pastries and carbs for breakfast with a warming tea, as I looked over the neighbourhood rearing itself up for the day. I particularly liked being right in the middle of the action, which feels far more common in European cities to UK ones. The UK seems desperate (tragically) to be more like the US and build vast swathes of surburban land with no real life in the most remote places, rather than idyllic little villages and communities within cities, as the Europeans triumph in.

I stuck to the centre on this last day, taking in a beautiful sunrise followed by coffee and a sandwich at Fuglen. This was perhaps my favourite moment of the trip. It was so comfortable in this charming coffee shop, with a positively vintage feel in decor and atmosphere. It was here I gave myself time to properly reflect on the last couple of days, realising the audition had made me a better musician and want to be more spontaneous and life affirming.

Continuing through the elegant streets, I found the main shopping district, with personal heavyweights of wonder including glorious Paper and Tea, Cos, Zara, Fjällräven and Rains. There was even a Marimekko store, which I chose not to go in but looked very cute indeed.

Oslo was just a wonderful place. It was full of inspiration; a lovely mix of old and modern; superb coffee; and just a severe lack of anything bad. Even with Grønland appearing slightly more rough around the edges compared to the rest of the city, it was still a great place to stay. And I would happily make the return.

I go home for Christmas tomorrow. All I can think about currently is how heavy my suitcase is so I'm going to distract myself with a shower and hot chocolate and see you in the new year for my next entry!

Before I go, here are my favourite tracks of the season:

Guess Who's Back - Midnight Generation

Enjoy the Silence - Depeche Mode

Enemies - Magic City Hippies

Kurrajong Hotel - Butter Bath

Dark Love - Miami Horror, Danny Pratt

Electric Company - Hector Gachan

Halilim Halilim - Sababa 5, Yurika Hanashima

Beautiful Faces - Declan McKenna

In The Dark - Roosevelt

Unforgettable Feeling - Munan

Can't Be What You Think - Sports

Perfect People - courtship.

Within You, Within Me - Meltt

Shotput - Still Woozy

NQA - tomy wyne

Half the Man - Tokyo Tea Room

3AM - DRAMA

Brincadeira De Amor - Marizinha

Zizia - Kainalu, moonfruit

Cortes Modernos - CLUBZ.

Ha det.

[tommyoboe]

BERLIN 2024.

I don't have a plan for this post and I believe that's pretty apt for talking about this place. For me, Berlin is not just a city but a character and a way of life. I embrace the hippie nature of this statement, just as I embraced the German capital with Cameron. With everything we had.

Upon arriving Monday morning, we enjoyed the ease of self check in at the vibrant Urban Loft. We then toddled along in the scorching but not entirely unpleasant heat to grab a coffee and Anzac cookie from the renowned Barn Coffee. The service was superb and the coffee outstanding. This is one of our top roasters, so to experience the coffee in person was a real treat.

On to charming Prenzlauer Berg we went, showcasing remnants of the Berlin Wall, that is a huge part of Berlin's personality. It was fascinating to walk through wide sunlit streets and capture the contrast between West and East. Second hand shops and adorable cafés lined the way, displaying mid-century pieces in a rainbow of colours. It was a real celebration of culture and loudness in the home. I loved it.

With deli goods in hand we stumbled upon a tree containing books, divine cold brew coffee, a mosaic salamander, and Ting, showcasing the best of Scandi design.

An effortless ride on the U-Bahn took us to Friedrichshain, with the Eastside Gallery displaying art from times old and new. There were celebration pieces alongside works for thought and a look back through history with striking impressions on a period ruled by division. The other side led to the cute River Spree, with buskers playing folk and jazz tunes as the sun set.

Our trip to supreme Berlin chain Burgermeister rounded off a day full of walking nicely! We people watched, noticing all sorts of characters roaming the bustling but calm streets. Groups were fairly small, mainly individuals and duos going about their lives. It was a nice change the night scenes of Birmingham, swarmed with large garish groups all looking the same. I love that in Berlin everyone is truly individual.

Balu Coffee was our breakfast spot the next morning. The croissant benedict with avocado and salmon was vibrant and refreshing. Cameron's kimchi toastie was full of flavour, my grapefruit juice zingy and Cameron's cold brew packed a superb punch.

Edgy Kreuzberg was our central location for the day. The streets were lined with converted East German flats and vast greenery. Minimum was bursting to the seams with furniture from our favourite brands and the neighbouring stationery shop had a huge selection to make the mind boggle.

We found ourselves in an oasis of greenery at a garden centre set up for the homeless, then at a charming street corner for cold brew with tonic. This seemed commonplace in the city, and it's now something I miss.

Markthalle Neun was a definite highlight. The eclectic range of food options had us gasping in delight. The freshly made salami pizza slice went nicely with Fritz Kola, something that is a true German staple.

The afternoon continued with exceptional dark chocolate ice cream and as the evening approached we made our way to the Tempelhof. This was the site of a Berlin airport for many years and is now a meeting place for all Berliners. Barbecues, cycling parties and even a refugee shelter brought people together. This beautiful mix epitomised Berlin in every single way.

We rose the next morning to be greeted by bagels and cold brew coffee at Tucano Coffee, before making our way to the Tiergarten to embrace all things green. The eerie but magical sounds of the Carillon Tower were enchanting, and as we strolled through the gardens, I felt a sense of happiness and confidence. Everywhere we went in Berlin, people didn't stare or question each other, rather people enjoyed themselves and had no worries. I felt self conscious about wearing shorts, but in this city I felt this completely disappear.

They also have this thing in Berlin called summer.

The afternoon contained more contrasts, from a bombed out church from World War II that still had elements of beauty to lavish department stores in the west. We marvelled at the Vitra collection in the KaDeWe, as well as Paper & Tea and some astounding cookies.

Potsdamer Platz followed for more sensational Barn Coffee, then to the Mall of Berlin for shopping with a view over Berlin's government buildings. Alexanderplatz brought sensational currywurst and a trip to the DDR Museum for an insight into life in former East Germany. Even the U-Bahn journey home brought joy, with Berlin's Hauptbahnhof illuminating us from underground with a ceiling depicting a starry night.

We ventured to the Moabit area for breakfast on our final full day in this bustling metropolis, followed by more shopping at familiar brands like Arket, Cos and Rains. A bakery pit stop and cold brew later we were at the Kurfürstendamm, one of Berlin's most famous avenues for shopping. We took in the designer outlets on the sunlit boulevard before continuing our journey at the Musical Instruments and Deja Vu Museums. We stocked up on Ritter chocolate at their huge store before enjoying a final cocktail to close our experience in the stunning capital.

It was difficult to say goodbye to this wonderful city, as to me there is no place more brilliant I have ever visited. It has everything the imagination can conjur. The public transport is unreal, rightly putting UK public transport to shame with its vast selection of overground and underground offerings. The pace of life is slow but people get things done with no complaints. The weather is beautiful in the summer. The blend of past and future is spectacular. The history is like that of no other city. And the people are one that I can embrace. I feel I can be my true self in this city, and that is the best possible feeling.

This trip has heightened our desire for a life abroad, as I feel this is where the future really is. This is where true happiness can be found, and that realisation is one of the most exciting ones to date.

So until next time Berlin, vielen dank und auf wiedersehen.

[tommyoboe]

YEAR TWO.

Like this current spell of gloomy July weather, my second year out of full education has been somewhat sour. Rather like the second of a run on the West End, the energy and momentum has been lacking.

Last year was a whirlwind, full of twists and turns, but overall life was fun and every opportunity was taken like gold dust. This year has been a contrast in that regard, and the reasons have been stark.

Reading back on my entries from last July highlights a lack of change in all honesty. I had many doubts on how to live my life and came to the conclusion it needs to be in the moment. Things are largely the same right now, but now I would add a true objective nature to every decision I make, where I remove myself from the situation and look at things from a different angle. Because when you look at things in different ways, real beauty can be found.

Bath for my 26th birthday was beautiful. It was everything I wanted from a birthday trip and more. We ate nice things, drank phenomenal beverages and enjoyed meandering Bath's quaint streets. To top it off, we stayed in a delightful Georgian top floor apartment, overlooking a luscious field. Down the hill we bounced on the morning of my birthday to encounter retro goodies and a whole host of our favourite brands at Holloways. This included the green Hay Quilton sofa of my DREAMS. Finished off with the best coffee trio we have ever had from Watchhouse, it was a trip to remember.

The remainder of last summer was rather damp, quite like the weather at the time. I missed much of the past; felt a sense of unease about myself and my identity, and a lack of enthusiasm for the future. The thoughts of playing as a career and restarting life elsewhere kept me going. However, some fabulous times were had, in the form of a few restful days with the family back in my glorious home city of Hull, and...

COLOGNE. Cameron and I booked this one fairly last minute, but at a great deal and somewhere we had tinkered with for a while, it was an excellent option.

Cute would be a suitable expression of this place. German in architecture and layout, cobbled streets aplenty, but with an urban edge. Churches slapped in the middle of shopping streets, sublime food and drink offerings and riverside views from many locations, it was packed full of personality in a lovely non-shouty sense. The Crane Houses on the Rheinauhafen were a highlight: somewhere I could envision living in the future.

Fritz Kola, speciality coffee nestled on an adorable side street and the Botanical Gardens were more points to remember, as well as some seriously tasty banana bread dusted in sugar. There was sushi, climbing the cathedral (Dom) and browsing delights from Paper & Tea. Following this we surveyed beautiful minimalist design outlets and relished in bahn mi sprawled out on a random side street. The atmosphere was perfect though. So many facets to this city, and all explored to a T.

Trips to Manchester and London made up the last summer days, which were unsurprisingly taken up with more coffee and food. Mostly coffee. I also found myself emotional as I had to leave my job at the superb kin. It was a difficult decision to make as I enjoyed my time and made meaningful memories in the process, but moving forward was the correct choice to accommodate evolving teaching.

To be frank, I don't want to talk in great detail about this year's teaching. Much of it has been lacking in any real satisfaction. I have had burnout on many occasions, breakdowns and a feeling of not delivering enough whilst knowing that my expectations as a teacher are astronomical. Bureaucratic unnecessary tasks have quite often formed my daily input and the rewards have been very little. Teaching ukulele has been a particular low point.

Going forward, I'm doing things on my own terms. I will be doing more private teaching and less for music services. I will be working primarily with those who respect me and allow flexibility for me to perform outside of teaching doomed children where middle C is for the nine hundred thousandth time. Saying no to gigs this year has been like a million punches to the stomach. Those that don't allow me to do gigs will be dropped from now on.

My first bout of COVID came after my first week of teaching. I had to stay home for two weeks, despite feeling fine for the latter part.

Half term was sweet. Over the COVID and taking a well deserved break from teaching ungrateful children, little luxuries were enjoyed. Some highlights were skeleton crumpets and earl grey tea; buying cute Halloween decorations; catching up with family and old friends over pumpkins and pub quizzes, and a lovely trip to Oxford. This jaunt involved the usual coffee and cake; a sea of oboes at a music museum; Knoops hot chocolate (sublime), and a general buzz and calm.

November and December continued to be hectic with teaching, but weekends were generally quiet and allowed me to flick the reset button. I was fortunate enough to have another performance for the memorial event of architect Michael Hopkins, and my first play of Handel's Messiah with Manchester Camerata.

The Christmas break was incredibly welcome, following days of feeling so tired I experienced hallucinations every so often. It was perhaps the only time this year I truly switched off and didn't think about work at all. It was a nice time, one I will repeat soon.

Bristol was a glimmering beacon to start 2024, which I have blogged about separately. This was followed by a return to mediocre teaching and having to say no to a beneficial teaching opportunity because of others getting in the way. Those people have now been cancelled.

In February I enjoyed my first visit to the Young Musicians Symphony Orchestra in London to play Shostakovich's classic Fifth Symphony. The backdrop was a cute trip to the megacity to enjoy various food and drink offerings. Highlights included phenomenal burgers at Eggslut; Watchhouse (of course); the Seven Dials food market for fried chicken and pizza, and seeing the new HAY concession at Selfridges.

Shortly upon my return I was hurled into a last minute performance opportunity with the Hallé Orchestra over three days. Bruckner's Eighth Symphony was the piece and my role was third oboe on less than 24 hours notice. Despite not having had the chance to play my part before the first rehearsal and some unclear pencil markings making for an interesting solo entry, I had a nice three days, travelling to Manchester, Nottingham and Newcastle to make superb music.

March consisted of fondant fancy chicks from Betty's; a selection of life enhancing orange wines from Vagabond; numerous trips to Perch to cope with mammoth Mondays, and a nice second round with the YMSO. Staying in glorious West Brompton was a particular highlight, with a trip to esteemed The Hoarder something I definitely want to do again. The music was good too. But generally the trip put a spotlight on a sense of freedom I don't feel in Birmingham, and one I know there is potential to feel elsewhere. I'm excited by this.

Liverpool was a lovely way to start April, propelling me into the final term of this long slog of a year. During the trip I realised and vocalised my state of mind, expressing doubts over the future and beginning to realise that yes, perhaps we should try the super exciting life in Europe thing that we have spoken about ever since our first trip to Berlin five years ago. This is as well as putting everything I can into playing my primary instrument and enjoying the little pleasures life has to offer. As you can see from this blog post, this is being achieved!

Other April highlights included my first manicure; first sports massage; seeing Cameron's wonderful The Soul Connection play their first gig; a divine chorizo patty burger from the Early Bird Bakery, and Verdi's Requiem with Manchester Camerata at Liverpool Cathedral. All delightful things. Using a towel made of microfibre when staying over in Liverpool was not. Like, who even has a microfibre towel?

Over the course of May I began to feel more comfortable (finally) with some of my schools as they began preparing for end of year concerts. I felt the students appreciate the tools I was giving them more than when we embarked on this learning together. I also rode a bike consistently for the first time in years and over half term Cameron and I ventured to Sheffield for the day. This was mostly me becoming increasingly giddy with excitement at the life enhancing furniture on offer at first stop Nest, as I envisioned it all in our dream Berlin loft. Gigs were finally making an appearance, on two occasions some lovely Brahms and Rutter in nearby Hampton-in-Arden. To top the month off, I was offered a spot on this year's Voksenåsen music course in Oslo! Hugely excited for that.

June was a quiet month overall, and for this reason I began reflecting once more. I further realised the little to virtually no pleasure school teaching gives me, due to a crumbling infrastructure and no desire for career progression. I felt isolated due to a lack of social contact outside of mine and Cameron's idyllic bubble. Regret seeped in over my decision to leave Manchester two years ago, as here I was beginning to form some wonderful friendship groups. In terms of gigs, being here made it much easier to accept these and progress with playing.

However, since this reflection, I have become determined to dream of something more. Gigs have kept me going, like a wholesome Sinfonia of Birmingham concert in Bournville, and an upcoming performance with NEW Sinfonia. Last weekend I auditioned for the BBC Philharmonic cor anglais job, and although I didn't gain the role, it was one of my best auditions yet and a true marker of progress. I finally bought myself a reed shaping machine, something that sounds dull to non-oboists but after trying it yesterday, I am super delighted with this choice.

As we tipped into the second half of the year, I felt a sense of optimism for the first time in a while. I realised my limits in some areas and released myself from these so I can now lead a healthier life. I'm overthinking decisions less and going with instinct. And, the biggest joy, the Tories lost the UK General Election. I'm not enthused by Labour, but what a time. Opportunity is ahead and I finally feel in a place where I can not give a fuck and just go for what I want. I know there will be more obstacles as we start the new academic year in September, but I will continue to put myself first and prevail from here.

After a day supporting Cameron in Malvern for his gig with The Soul Connection, I feel satisfied with all the small steps I have taken. Turmoil has cast its huge cloud this year, but I do genuinely see something brighter on the way. For the first time in a long while, I'm wide awake at the prospect of sending life upwards, rather than spiralling to decline.

Listening to music sends my life infinitely upwards. Here are my top 20 from the season that has recently passed us.

1. Witchoo - Durand Jones & The Indications

2. Good Luck, Babe! - Chappell Roan

3. Just a Dance - Alfie Templeman, Nile Rodgers

4. My Palms Are Your Reference To Hold To Your Heart (Alternate Version) - Yumi Zouma

5. One Minute More (Dream Fiend Remix) - Capital Cities, Dream Fiend

6. Rocky - Still Woozy

7. Capricorn - Vampire Weekend

8. OUR LOVE - Abc Dialect, Delafleur

9. Automatic - Roosevelt

10. Espresso - Sabrina Carpenter

11. Dance The Night - Dua Lipa

12. It Runs Through Me - Tom Misch, De La Soul

13. Losing Touch - Franc Moody

14. Ghost On The Mend (veggi remix) - Magic City Hippies, veggi

15. Best Friend - Foster The People

16. Wishful Thinking - BENEE

17. Situations - The Hails

18. Good Old Days - Midnight Generation

19. Praising You - Rita Ora, Fatboy Slim

20. In Love Again - Paco Versailles.

With all in mind, I shall step into my house propelled by a sea of balloons, and float into the evening sky.

[tommyoboe]

LIVERPOOL 2024.

Our suburb of Harborne is quiet, with people seemingly scurried away in their homes counting down the hours until the end of this Easter period.

We took advantage of some extended time off from our busy teaching and playing lives to explore the lively city of Liverpool for the first time in six years. The vast majority of this trip was unplanned and we mostly based our activities on areas we liked the look of, instead of tourist hotspots.

Despite this, our first stop was Albert Dock, and I have to say, a renovated Albert Dock from the last time we visited. Roughly forming a square shape, within the dock there were various eateries and traditional shops offering treats aplenty. We sampled cherry bakewell fudge at Roly's, admired the architecture of the surrounding buildings and enjoyed sandwiches made from walnut bread (delicious - mine was smoked salmon and cream cheese) from Rough Hand Made Bakery.

From here we toddled towards the vibrant TATE Liverpool in its temporary new location just around the corner from Albert Dock. The advantage of this was the view of the famous Liver Building en route. Once inside we perused an interactive exhibit documenting the sustainable work through pieces from the gallery's original location.

Perhaps my favourite area of the city, which was newly discovered on this trip, was the emerging Baltic Triangle. The streets here were splashed with colourful street art, coffee shops and independent stores. Our caffeine fix was courtesy of 92 Degrees, a tranquil but large hub offering a selection of cosy cakes, teas, coffees and pourovers. We treated ourselves to the latter, which were enjoyed with a nice view of the clouds in the sky and the peaceful neighbourhood.

Shopping continued to be the theme of the afternoon, this time at Red Brick Market. This was a huge space of many stores, all selling vintage goods, from clothes to accessories to furniture. Despite not making any purchases, it was enjoyable just to browse at a leisurely pace and take in the many alternative offerings.

My highlight for the first day was Duke Street Market, an indoor food hall serving bites to eat from Liverpool, Europe, South America, Asia and beyond. The concept of having the option of several eateries in one location was super, and with a QR code at each table, we were able to decide in our own time. I went for a selection of Spanish tapas including the most insane chorizo croquettes, as well as a superb cubanos with pulled pork and mustard. Washed down with a peach and mango sour, it was up there with the best meals I have ever had.

Our stay was with EPIC Apartments, a hotel opposite the food hall. The self check in was straightforward for the most part, and despite a couple of small amenities being missed from our room, the room itself was comfy and spacious and allowed for a nice level of privacy. The location was super central and could not have been better for a one night stay.

We bought an epic sized dulce de leche croissant from Rough Hand Made Bakery on the first day, so this was plenty for a light breakfast on day 2. Once checked out, we headed back to the Baltic Triangle for a look round Seven Store, full of brands we like and other luxury products.

After this we strolled through the Georgian Quarter, full of architecture of this period and a feeling of spaciousness, not so far removed from grand West London. We viewed the Liverpool Metropolitan Cathedral from a distance and stopped off at Coffi, which has lovely views of Liverpool Cathedral, altogether different in design. Here we enjoyed more pourovers and blood orange lemonade with the April sun.

From here it was off to Bold Street to see a sea of independent shops and eateries. Burgers were devoured at Fat Hippo; homewares made up our viewing at Søstrene Grene; there were quirky bits aplenty at Utility, and plants from floor to ceiling at Root.

With our tour over, we headed back to Birmingham armed with mostly food but a few items for ourselves and a greater sense of Liverpool as a city of culture. With a bit of searching beneath the city's gritty surface, there is personality all round.

Here are some songs I have recently been enjoying:

Classixx, Roosevelt, Lazywax - 1 More Sng

Roosevelt - Rising

Foster The People - Sit Next To Me.

That's it for this round of travel. Cameron and I are still deciding on where to go (abroad) this summer. Suggestions are welcome!

[tommyoboe]

BRISTOL 2024.

Hello and Happy New Year! Is this a time where one should be making lots of resolutions such as going to the gym and eating vegan food, which will ultimately fall short to the temptation of lebkuchen at Lidl for 20p and the lure of a Knoops hot chocolate wrapped up in an Arket blanket? Don't mean to show off there, but no.

Instead, on a sort of impulse and conversation I had the other day with Cameron, I thought I would write about our recent trip to Bristol that kicked off the new year. Following this up with some music I have recently been enjoying, here is what we found.

We stayed in a delightful Shepherd's Hut filled with everything we needed for a cosy night after roaming the marvellous streets of Bristol. With Wi-Fi included, teas, coffees and underfloor heating for the cool January nights, it was an ideal choice. The neighbourhood was quiet but full of character, and the hut itself was essentially tucked at the back of a residential garden. However, we had full privacy, security, and check in and out was super straightforward.

We enjoyed some excellent food on the harbour from Small Goods, including an insanely good stracciatella focaccia and ginger and lemon curd doughnut to go with a fruity batch filter.

A stroll along the harbour front took us past a fun selection of quirky buildings and barges, then up to Bristol's main shopping centre. The layout was much friendlier than other shopping centres across the UK, with light pouring through a sky roof and a generally more outdoorsy feel. We only stopped briefly to browse a cute stationery store before moving on to Gloucester Road, Europe's longest road of independent shops and cafés. If we had another day or two here we would have tried one of the many scrumptious looking eateries and coffee shops, like The Crafty Egg, Poquito Coffee and Cafe Kino, but we were treated to many sightings along the way.

Here was the first stop, providing us with an array of colourful books, stationery, framed pieces and greetings cards. This was followed by Wild Leaf, a plant haven with expert advice and practically every plant imaginable, including some new finds for both of us to take home.

Ustudio was a huge highlight for. This was bursting to the brim with high quality decorative pieces, from Studio Arhoj's fantastic collection of ghosts and crystal blobs to indulgent Fatso Chocolate to a pristine selection of Kinto glassware and travel gear. I did well to only walk out with some dried lavender for a new pot I received for Christmas, but this Scandinavian feast of wonders had Cameron and I filled with excitement.

After a pause at Tincan for further caffeination, we strolled in the rain back down the street towards the promise of an evening meal. I always enjoy cities where the rain doesn't become a debilitating factor, and rather it is just part of a buzzing atmosphere and people continue with their daily lives with looks of content. Bristol is one of those places.

Three Brother's Burgers was our choice for the evening, offering up an impressive amount of choice on toppings, sides and a whole separate menu for veggies and vegans. I enjoyed the Smokey Bro Burger, with cheddar, smoked bacon, BBQ relish and crispy onions, along with loaded fries and chicken wings, which we shared. This came with a blue cheese dip; although I don't normally go for blue cheese, this sauce complimented the chicken nicely!

Rounding off our evening were some terrific cocktails from The Clockwork Rose. This candlelit establishment had several nods to the Steampunk era with decorative masks and ornaments hanging from an inviting fireplace, but it struck a balance between these elements and a more general feel of stepping into the 1920s, which I found highly comforting. My drink of choice was an Old Fashioned, while Cameron had a silky combination of Canadian whisky, bourbon and espresso all brought together with flavours of maple. Sublime.

We gently rose the next morning and headed over to bustling Bedminster for coffee and shopping. Sweven was our choice for a caffeine fix, with a wonderful selection of espresso and filter options, and a counter of delicious cakes and pastries. Our house filters were so well balanced, with the first containing notes of blackcurrant and butterscotch, and the second watermelon and jasmine. The service was excellent and the atmosphere was warm and relaxed.

On we went through this lively suburb, through corners of street art; board game stores with old childhood favourites like Quirkle, and idyllic houses I would happily to move to in the future. We reached Clifton Village, known primarily for its Suspension Bridge. We took in the view before heading into the village itself for a bite to eat at Foliage Café. The croque monsieur was excellent, fresh and full of flavour. I loved the combination of brunch offerings, convenience foods and greenery.

We ended our trip on Whiteladies Road, including a visit to Oskar Furniture to delight over pieces we would like for our future home and embracing the Georgian architecture more typical of neighbouring Bath.

Bristol is somewhere I could easily do again and again; it has everything and feels truly alive!

Here is an album I have recently enjoyed:

Roosevelt - Embrace. The fourth album from the German musician gloriously kicks off with the anthem like Ordinary Love. Yucca Mesa builds to Paralyzed, a track I couldn't help but dance and dance to. My favourite listing is Fall Right In, which asserts an overwhelming motion of life and the moment. Perhaps fitting as we approach the last song: Alive.

That's all from me; I shall spend my last day of the Christmas holiday watching quiz shows, gorging on treats from the Early Bird Bakery and practising cor anglais. See you soon!

[tommyoboe]

YEAR ONE.

Welcome to a little tour of my life since completing my Master's degree last year.

I just had another read of my blog post from then, and I am transported to that time of uncertainty, that feeling of being marooned on an island, with the sun setting around me and the horizon so vast and encompassing that this is all I can see for miles.

This could be the default for summers to come, as I have just completed my last gig for a little while. However, my mindset has changed, and I know that there is lots of fun to be had in the coming months.

Before I delve into that, I am pulling the lever in my mind and taking a peek back at the last twelve months of activity and what that has done for my insane little mind.

As soon as my Master's was complete, my focus was entirely on finding work, because, let's face it, I'm a musician, and there was no immediate segway into a job in an orchestra or a chamber group or whatever. So I applied for everything I could and got a job in a zero waste store in Birmingham, where I was preparing to move back to within a couple of months.

Overall, it was absolutely fine, paid s*** but was comfortable otherwise. It also allowed me flexibility when come September, I earned my first professional gig since leaving Manchester with the BBC Philharmonic and jumped out of my seat like a flying squirrel to the next oak.

By this point I had moved into my new property in the suburb of Harborne with Cameron and we were enjoying living back together for the first time in a couple of years. To be living in a nice place and area and be getting work so quickly after departing Manchester was a delight, even if it meant pissing off my minimum wage paying employers.

That has perhaps been one of the most significant challenge this year, balancing everyday work with freelance opportunities, that to me are simply gold dust.

Upon returning from a successful recording of Shostakovich 12, I was launched into working in a speciality coffee shop for the first time, which was quite different from the relative ease of a zero waste store. My employers were great though, hugely decent people with such potential for their ideas to flourish. However, not being a trained barista meant I was new to many concepts, although those who know me best realise that I am still quite the coffee addict, and refuse to entertain a chain and its over sweetened burnt products. And any time I have given into an overpriced pumpkin spiced or caramel waffle latte from Starbucks has been filled with a rush of sweetness, a burnt mouth and instant regret.

I also regret the times that followed in that first term of having to decline work, leading to fits of deliriousness in some cases where my breathing heightened to an absolute panic and all control of my body disappeared.

No matter though, because what followed were more gigs! Quite wonderful. So there I was in October, thanks to the RNCM and BBC Philharmonic, playing a programme of Ruth Gipps in the foyer of the Bridgewater Hall.

The coffee shop meanwhile left me stressed on a regular basis, as it required me to be fast paced and just better than I was. There was no space to truly learn and take things in at a leisurely pace, as there should be more of in this life. And it was debatable as to if I was really keeping my s*** together.

I was therefore grateful to go off to Huddersfield with Cameron to see his folks and for myself to enjoy my first gig with Manchester Camerata outside the RNCM. And then the following week back to Media City for round 2 with the BBC. Having had a mixed October, I wasn't in the best place this second time round, and therefore not the person and player I have learnt to become since. I remember taking out my frustration to my very patient mum on the first afternoon and just feeling myself fade away as a human. I generally kept myself together, but I would then have these horrible outbursts where I fired myself at those closest to me in an aggressive and unwelcome way.

Soon I was back in Birmingham, and then Coventry for my first teaching of some primary school keyboard players. My pupils have accumulated since opening that classroom door in November, and although it has been rewarding in places, it has also been a mountain to climb in terms of maintaining energy, a positive mindset and a willingness to teach kids that are very often little f***ers.

More playing followed with a daunting trip to Aldeburgh for the Britten Pears Young Artists programme, which my wonderful oboe teacher from Birmingham put me forward for. It was a joy to once again play with such a high calibre of musicians, but this also made for moments of immense insecurity to the point that I couldn't bring myself to socialise and on the odd occasion I would retract to my room and write about my general state of sorrow before eventually feeling my vision fade and fall into a moderate slumber.

However, it was a beneficial week but one I would only come to appreciate seven months later.

December was hard. Work things were far from steady and the world was seemingly going to s***. I decided last minute not to attend my Master's graduation, and to be honest, it was somewhat heartbreaking. It wasn't even missing the graduation itself: it was more my fear of going by myself when my parents weren't able to make it anymore due to ongoing train strikes and Cameron working. I couldn't bring myself to make that journey and have that day potentially alone. My heart breaks for my past self.

Past self was relieved to be heading to Barcelona shortly afterwards for four days of unwinding with Cameron. I was shattered after constantly trying to keep up with an ever changing situation in terms of work and no emotional stability, but this was a brief time I really enjoyed, and came to somewhat find my sense of spirit again.

The year came to end with notes of Baileys, arguments and fried chicken and it was on to what was going to hopefully be a more stable 2023!

Ha.

The year began with a family bereavement and continued challenges with work. With teaching this was being gravely insulted in my lessons, told to 'die' and that I should 'go to prison' by my students. I was so in shock that I just let it all happen like some satanic ritual in front of me, but if that was to happen to me now I would react in a highly different way. There would be no getting away with that now. They would be out.

The rest of my January and February, two of the worst months in all of my twenty six years on the planet, was spent searching for new work, as this was rapidly dwindling at both the zero waste and coffee shop. No more performances were coming my way and funds were depleting.

I took on a couple of freelance teaching days in Dudley and interviewed for new work, but couldn't bring myself to the finality of a full time role at another coffee shop. I hung on and made contact with a local florist about an opening at their store, which to my delight was immediately successful and the job was mine.

I thought, this is it. This is the light at the end of the wintry bog I've just experienced. I could do this and keep the coffee shop job as I quit the zero waste job, which by this point was giving me four hours a week.

Things were figured out. Until I lost my coffee shop job due to the tsunami hitting small businesses and their funds to keep members of staff with decent pay. It wasn't exactly a surprise, but the abrupt nature of this dismissal was unfair.

But then, if the day hadn't been crazy enough, an email came through from Manchester Camerata, and I had to double take, regarding a tour to Saudi Arabia in March.

*screams*

This was all gradually being figured out, and in the meantime I began my new part time job. I knew this wouldn't be enough to see me through financially difficult times that we were going through with bills at over £300 a month.

Confirmation came through in the days leading up to Saudi Arabia, but the day job was falling mercy to lack of funds and I was to be making an early exit.

Uncertainty was high until Cameron and I took a heavily frustrated walk to accidentally discover a lovely furniture store in the heart of Edgbaston that immediately caught my attention. I emailed to ask of any vacancies and to my pleasant surprise I had timed this perfectly, and three full days were on offer.

For me, the combination of this and the tour with Manchester Camerata were the start of my revival.

And then Saudi Arabia happened! There I was, on a plane with eighty musicians to the Middle East to play as part of the expansion of a new city on the Red Sea. It was surreal, seeing these sights that I couldn't have otherwise comprehended; getting lost on a coach in the pitch black dead of night; going dune bashing in the middle of the desert (almost dying as a result when the driver started the car as I was getting in), and playing cor anglais to a Manchester medley in this huge arena in this bizarre location.

But it happened. It really did. And it gave me the boost I needed (despite some moral concerns about going to the Middle East) to somewhat escape my slump and restart life.

Life had to restart straightaway with a gig in Sunderland, then my new job at the furniture store, followed by gaining another teaching role for September with Services For Education.

All was going well; I felt like I had entered this new golden age. It didn't last that long as we suddenly had a neighbour complain about our practising/teaching in our flat. Basically a disaster, but one that was sorted after a couple of weeks of agonising over alternative venues, with me having the courage to go talk (have it out to a certain extent) to the neighbour. This was after our estate agent demanded we stop playing immediately (but then again, their first thought when we had a crack in our toilet was 'have you dropped something in it?'). The practice lives on!

Highlights in April included a third gig with Manchester Camerata, this time in Withernsea of all places; catching up with folks back home and attending my old oboe teacher's wedding in Harrogate! This made for a lovely weekend of catchups with Hull Music Service teachers and colleagues and a jaunt around the scenic town.

May was perhaps the first normal month I have had but this was counteracted by a somewhat hectic and exciting June of music making. A group of us visited London on the first day to see the absolutely astounding A Little Life, which I endlessly recommend. I'm still reading the monster of a book, but it is so heartbreakingly beautiful in how it is written and it was performed in a way that truly brought this to life.

Other high points included a lovely pair of gigs with New Sinfonia in Wales; a second solo concert courtesy of the RNCM and BBC Philharmonic at the Bridgewater Hall; a return to Aldeburgh for the culmination of the Britten Pears Young Artists programme, and just yesterday I was back in Suffolk briefly to play as part of a memorial event for the late architect, Michael Hopkins. The venue was outstanding, situated so pristinely by the water and filled with fantastic pieces.

Aldeburgh the second time round was an absolute joy and was a much healthier experience for me. The playing was tremendously difficult in places, but I felt in a calm frame of mind when tackling everything, knowing at least I could properly unwind at the end of this and actually appreciate the company of others in a serene coastal town. And I was simply myself, or at least the self I want to be.

That makes me happier beyond belief.

After all that, my primary reflection is that actually, this year has been a success. It has been challenging to the point of hardly recognising myself in places, but I have become a better person. So as I was last year when my Manchester experience came to a close, I am grateful. But grateful perhaps isn't even the word: I'm simply happy. I'm happy that I'm making the choices that I am; living a lifestyle that I believe is healthy, and embracing the everyday with all its quirks.

And ultimately, it's refreshing to know that my main concern today was having lardons for the carbonara recipe.

That's me for the summer; now to crank the volume up on Taskmaster to mask the sound of a drill next door!

[tommyoboe]

MANCHESTER - PART THIRTY.

OK, here it goes.

I haven't planned this in great detail, so this might just turn into me dwelling and feeling sad that this amazing experience in this amazing place is coming to a close.

It's alright, I'll throw in some sarciness and shade to lift all our spirits.

Saying that, it is important to reflect on feelings of doubt and negativity towards what may come next, as from that I am beginning to come to some real conclusions on what it is I want now that summer is here and the future is in touching distance.

Before I figure that out, back to the last couple of weeks. Rehearsals for Symphony Orchestra took centre stage and were a pleasure overall. Martyn Brabbins is a fantastic conductor and really brought the best out of us during our week together. It was surreal having positive comments such as 'if you keep playing like this they'll write a musical about you'. To an insanely modest and doubtful mind like mine, that really means a lot, and is potentially the difference between me settling for feeling average and really going for playing in the future as my primary aim.

Something else that meant a lot to me was my recital feedback from my final assessment in June. There was excitable chatter amongst all students receiving their feedback via email at the end of a rehearsal, and then a quick dispersion as we all peeked at our marks and made our way to quiet corners to take in the detailed feedback.

Both of those things for me were honestly, phenomenal. I got an astounding 88%, and more importantly the comments were of immense use and highlighted all the progress I have made in the last couple of years. So, thanks RNCM for that.

I have pretty serious withdrawal symptoms after last Friday's Shostakovich 8 gig. It was my first time playing at the Bridgewater Hall, and what a venue to play this monumental symphony in, and to have a huge solo. I was incredibly nervous throughout, and the solo passage was not quite as great as I wanted it to be, but just to have done that as a bucket list item and something I can talk about for years to come makes me extremely happy.

It was lovely catching up with others afterwards over a few drinks. Several people congratulated me and my fellow musicians for the performance and again, that meant a lot. All these people mean a lot to me.

An empty shell is how I felt as I woke up the next morning on five hours sleep to take the coach down to Birmingham. My lovely boy Cameron was waiting for me on arrival and we enjoyed some cute treats. It was all nice and relaxing ahead of an audition for the Royal Opera House Principal Oboe job on Sunday, but I still felt this sense of emptiness now that a project I was so invested in had come to an end, potentially the last of that kind of stature for a while.

The audition itself wasn't successful, which probably was down to not having sufficient time to put the work into the requirements and still not being used to the experience as a whole. The latter part I feel is verging on impossible to replicate, except with more auditions. These should be in the pipeline later this year so I won't have to put my oboe away for good just yet.

This week I spent some time playing side by side with musicians of Manchester Camerata. The experience highlighted that even in the last couple of months I have progressed sufficiently, with issues much more fleeting and inconsequential at this stage. It feels like the transition from student to professional is happening, even if not completely transparent yet.

Whilst the following days have been a mixture of sweet nothingness, playing at the RNCM for the last time, and hanging out with friends over sangria (or in my case, a hip flask of whisky) and Cards Against Humanity, this weekend I returned to Ripon for another gig with the St. Cecilia Orchestra in the glorious Ripon Cathedral. The change of scenery was good for me and made me miss Manchester. That being said, I am happy to be back for this coming week of putting in place the plan for the future (ugh, I sound like a Tory leadership candidate, too real and too gross) and saying farewells to friends for the last time in a while.

And like that, my time in Manchester will come to its end. It really is awfully sad, removing the safety blanket and vibrant bubble that is the RNCM, but I know it's necessary for my long term happiness, as now I will figure out what I really want. I still don't know is my current answer.

What I do know is that from my first lesson back in Birmingham where I forgot my oboe and continued to be a blundering buffoon for the next five years, leaving instruments on buses, forgetting reeds for technical exams and occasionally just being a dick to the people around me, I have come a long way.

In contrast to making a dear friend out of a white wall whilst on Zoom almost exclusively last year, this one turned all that upside down. I had the most insane experience in Paris, where I lived in an area that was both beautiful but known as the worst neighbourhood in France. I strolled around many of the cities arrondissements on my own, independently and doing all the things and having all the experiences I really wanted to, from the museums to the food to hosting Cameron and my folks here. That's the stuff I dream about and yearn to replicate.

It was really hard though, despite all that. I was out of place in the oboe class for not being a superstar with frequent incoming professional work, my French wasn't the best, and I couldn't bring myself to socialise to the point of panic attacks.

So to say au revoir to that and to be welcomed in a hugely positive way back to Manchester made for a super second semester. I was immediately playing in the Concerto Competition Final, followed by a full Symphony Orchestra project, the first since the pandemic.

I led a performance of Brahms 3 with members of the Chamber Orchestra of Europe, literally starting and ending the whole work without conductor.

And then a full opera production of Le Nozze di Figaro! I'm particularly grateful for this experience, as this solidified both my music making and friendships. I got to know people on a much closer basis, and for that I'm grateful, especially seeing that people wanted to open themselves up to me. I'm still working on that in return.

The increased collaboration with other musicians this final term in chamber music projects has been super special, as from this I have gained more friends and people that give me inspiration and a sense of life. I loved my final recital, and to watch others blossom with theirs was truly rewarding.

Winning the Rothwell Prize for oboe gave me such a boost, as did the whole final Symphony Orchestra experience. Thanks RNCM for giving me all of this.

And to top it off, I had the pleasure of playing with the CBSO, and being asked to play with other orchestras! That is just mind blowing. I will do everything in my power to ensure it continues, because that feeling of bringing something to life with a huge force of dedicated musicians is so special.

I'm excited to now have the time to really make things happen. And if they take a while, that's OK, as what I have done up to this point I can be proud of. And that makes me happy.

The people I have met, and will continue to meet, make me happy. Cameron makes me happy, as do my family, and all those that have helped me to get to where I am today.

Thank you all. You know who you are and you are all wonderful.

Whatever the future holds, I'm looking forward to it, as it will be full of stories to tell.

Cheers to that, everyone. Now, let's go do life again.

[tommyoboe]

MANCHESTER - PART TWENTY NINE.

Penultimate entry of this entire series: can ya believe it?!

Perhaps it's a good thing, as one thing student life has taught me is that studying is a stressful complicated bubble of complete mental and physical exhaustion.

Yeah, these last two weeks have left me feeling that.

Long days are back and they are taking their toll. Hour walks to Stoller Hall; traipsing through Stoke-on-Trent upon leaving my oboe to have its service, and carrying multiple instruments daily have all contributed to me not feeling my best. It has been frustrating, and I'm still figuring out the best ways to combat these issues.

Stoller Hall was totally worth it though for three enjoyable days of outreach concerts to school kids and their families. Bringing a whole new level of energy and enthusiasm to music making certainly reminds me the power we have to get these young minds into the arts, which is currently struggling through a war with the establishment.

We will win.

It was enjoyable for sure, but not as enjoyable as Starbucks' new oat sugar iced espresso in the stunning sunshine afterwards.

The middle of last week saw an opportunity arising and falling through in the space of 24 hours, but I was also able to find progress in other areas and have some needed time to myself.

Some evenings I worked late, especially those where sleeping was barely an option with the intensity of the heat, but others I found joy with Cameron in Manchester once again. We enjoyed coffee and productivity at The Northern Quarter's Green Lab, followed by mushroom tarts, Gooey cookies (that are becoming a weekly addiction) with ice cream and the last of the fantastic Obi-Wan Kenobi series.

Last Sunday we splurged on insane deli treats and sweet temptations from Cocoa Cabana, then enjoyed these with coffee and a warming pasta bake at home.

Last week saw my last Symphony Orchestra project of my time at the RNCM kick off, with a variety of full and sectional rehearsals on Shostakovich's roaring Eighth Symphony. The feeling of ninety musicians coming together in a joint sound and vision was something I will always remember post music college.

Final lessons have been and gone. Overall the results have been fulfilling, but there is still much work to be done and perhaps more importantly, I need to maintain what I have learnt. However, there have been glimmers of greatness and although I continue to be highly modest, it's nice to revel in those seconds of things coming together.

Emma and I practised excerpts for an upcoming audition at the Royal Opera House this coming weekend, and despite individual practice not replicating the same results, it was useful to collaborate and get feedback at this stage.

Tying everything together I had some deserved down time with friends over boisterous games of Cards Against Humanity and Noi Quattro pizza.

Last Thursday I found myself crashing hard after rehearsals and practice, distracted by doubts about the future as the end of this experience creeps closer and closer. I took the opportunity to drown sorrows in an oat milk flat white and binged some Love, Victor on Disney+.

Birmingham and the Cotswolds awaited this weekend. It was a joy being greeted by Cameron at the station with a Tim Horton's French vanilla before we enjoyed avocadoes and poached eggs at his place with nice TV.

We roamed Moseley Market the next day, revelling in foodie treats, then made our way to the Cotswolds for this week's gig with the Central England Camerata. I had the pleasure of playing just fifteen sweet minutes of lovely Vaughan Williams in rehearsal, then Cameron and I acquainted ourselves with some very hungry horses in a nearby field. It was both slightly terrifying and hilarious. I have never seen such vigour for onion bhajis.

The concert itself was relaxed and the sound reverberated nicely in the church space, just as the evening light glistened through the stain glass windows.

Yesterday we ventured to nearby Nailsworth for some lifestyle shopping and filling lunch. Both left me feeling wholesome and hygge (which is essentially the same thing).

Adjusting to work back here in Manchester today has been better than expected: a cor anglais lesson that was super demanding was also super rewarding, and as a result my sound improved in Symphony Orchestra rehearsals. I have also just found out that I won the RNCM Rothwell Prize, so it will shortly be time to celebrate with curry and, most likely, practice.

For now I shall finish this cronut, and write again as the sun sets on this magical mystery tour of a Master's.

[tommyoboe]

MANCHESTER - PART TWENTY EIGHT.

Ah, reading my last entry makes me super happy. As I am asked more and more what my plans for the future are I realise that I'm content with a combination of small pockets of potential work and the complete unknown, which still makes up the largest portion of that mixture. I'm just excited by whatever I and life will bring.

Audition offers have come in from abroad in recent days, and despite having to turn them down due to being unable to afford the costs of travel and accommodation, it has been nice to achieve that small level of recognition simply being offered the opportunity to try out for life changing roles.

I noticed last week it had been exactly a year since I received my offer to take a semester abroad at the Paris Conservatoire. Looking back a year on, it feels like I was a different player and person then, and although I still have work to do, I feel positive with the progress I made, and for me it's the main reminder that actually, I'm a pretty decent oboist when I put my mind to it!

It was pure joy watching so many fantastic final recitals in the last couple of weeks, with such a huge array of repertoire and inspiration gained. I was reminded of how meaningful live performance is, but how I'm going to miss watching people I have grown fond of flourish in their art.

Good for all of you, you deserve to prosper.

I had the pleasure of welcoming Cameron here last week in Manchester for my own recital, and we had a lovely time that I miss already. The day before my recital we winded down with superb hot chocolate from Cocoa Cabana. I then proceeded to have a complete reed crisis where I wrecked my chosen reed and scrambled to find a replacement. By luck of good preparation I had two back ups, and one of them was just about up for doing the job.

My dad and Rachel visited on recital day, which was a definite treat. We roamed the Northern Quarter, visited Ancoats and the divine Pollen bakery, as well as Noi Quattro for sublime pizza. I was a slight nervous wreck at this point, remaining quiet apart from my attempts to calm my breathing. It had been three years since my last recital of this length, so this final assessment after seven years of higher education study was quite the milestone for me.

A peaceful warm up and some last words of encouragement from peers saw me through, and actually, it was a truly enjoyable performance, one that I can be proud of. There were still parts to be improved, but overall I gave it everything I had and utilised everything this Master's has taught me. As a bonus I received some fantastic comments from my tutors, which meant a lot.

And then came freedom! Well, at least temporarily. Cameron and I were joined by his mum and grandma for a spot of lunch in the Northern Quarter and some therapeutic shopping, before I let more recitals inspire me and Cameron and I savoured in immense Gooey cookies.

While on Sunday we spent the day with Cameron's dad and partner Rachael, catching up over a pint and Vietnamese food, on Saturday we had some quality time to ourselves over Federal coffee and cake. It was lovely and I'm looking forward to being back with my boy very soon.

Into this week it was time to turn my attention to job applications, which on Monday felt full on but I have completed what has been necessary and made small gains.

The last few days have followed a similar pattern of small goals achieved and perhaps more importantly, trying to implement better, more enjoyable systems that will mean I can progess more efficiently and enjoy the process that this brings.

Playing for the first time with the St. Cecilia Orchestra in Ripon this weekend was refreshing, with a zingy programme of repertoire ideal for the light nights of summer. The musicians were dedicated and I had the chance to work at my second oboe playing, which is not my strength. However, even on a reed that looked like a dog had sat on it, I did a good job and I am hoping to potentially be back with them in October for an exciting programme of Rachmaninoff.

Rounding off this week is a masterclass with International Visiting Tutor of Oboe at the RNCM, Philippe Tondre. I'm looking forward to putting this week's advancements into practice with some beautiful (hopefully) Mozart and Telemann. But right now, I am off to have a pint (no joke) of Mancoco coffee because that is just what Sundays are made for.

Yes, I know that's pretentious as hell. See ya!

[tommyoboe]

MANCHESTER - PART TWENTY SEVEN.

This morning feels pretty lonesome without Cameron here. We've both had other projects on this weekend, which is exciting, but I know all I want is to be with him.

I'm looking forward to next week though. We'll have a few days together around my end of Master's recital and it's going to be brilliant, whatever we get up to.

The last couple of weeks have been a combination of hard work, little wins and self care. I completed my physio treatment for a shoulder injury back in February, which has not completely subsided but is in a much better place.

I went for my first runs in Manchester, which have been liberating. My body is perhaps not ready for the commitment of doing this daily just yet, but I'm working up to it, and the effect on my mental health it has had overall has been super. I'm generally so much happier and a better person to be around when I've got my exercise in.

There has been time for healthy and adventurous home cooking, including miso salmon and aubergines, which revitalise me and jolt me into inspired action.

Practice has been a challenge, rather like climbing a mountain in terms of progress. Slowly the results have started to come in, with running through the whole programme seeming impossible even just last week, but now I have done it a handful of times and generally it has been better on each occasion.

Jobs have taken more of a focus, so I have applied for orchestral positions both here in the UK and in Germany, as well as some admin jobs around Manchester, Birmingham and London. The expectations are not for any of these grand scale roles to come to fruition, but I have to at least give myself the option.

I was fortunate enough to welcome Cameron here to Manchester last weekend for two days of Northern Quarter strolls; doughnuts and coffee from the Siop Shop; an amazingly filthy croque monsieur gratin; sunny walks in Didsbury Village accompanied by French treats, warming tea and a chorizo benedict, and binging the adorable Heartstopper on Netflix.

This week I caught up with friends over drinks and party food, then discussed Edinburgh and socialism with my mum, and the future and home visits with my dad. I took a work call far too late in the day (if this is you, don't do it, people have this thing called downtime and it shouldn't be disturbed), and my tutors gave me reassuring and inspiring words as I head into recital week.

Yesterday was a day to myself that was one I made the most of and truly lived. I got a great balance of important tasks and leisure time, including another recital runthrough; a hearty sausage pasta bake at home, and an insanely good chocolate orange cookie and iced coffee from Feel Good Club.

Today I have my recital dress rehearsal, so that will be enjoyed, as will some new Mancoco coffee I bought yesterday and more quality food. Perhaps an afternoon stroll for supplies if these clouds cease lingering.

Another day lived in the best spirit, and many more to come in these next few weeks!

[tommyoboe]

MANCHESTER - PART TWENTY SIX.

It has been a while, hasn't it?

Being home in Hull feels a lifetime ago, but I have fond recollections of my catch-ups with family over copious teas and coffees. I got to celebrate my dad's and sister's birthdays early with them over nice food. I got to use my time in a healthy way, so research was completed and reeds were refined. I got to see my brother Alfie in his new home, which made me truly happy. I got to spend time with my nephew Frankie over a croissant. And a napkin that he continuously threw on the floor for me to pick up.

Despite constant feelings of things not being good enough (I am coming to acknowledge I will always have those feelings), it was a time constructed of wholesome parts.

Cameron and I braced Manchester once more and savoured in the usual array of simple treats, along with general productivity and binging Queer Eye Germany in an afternoon or two.

The last week of my Easter break was spent in Birmingham. Cameron and I absolutely made the most of the time, exploring new places around the city; enjoying the best cinnabuffins at Pause following a near scare with some academic work; taking in Warwick in the latest instalment of our travels, and watching the sun making its pronounced spring arrival.

On my return to Manchester I was instantly making music again in rehearsals and practice, intertwined with cute tapas courtesy of friends.

Cameron and I discovered new places in Manchester that weekend, including a phenomenal Maker's Market in West Didsbury. Despite stress levels still on edge generally, it was nice tucking into some more treats.

I opened the new term with an audition for the Royal Liverpool Philharmonic Orchestra. It was absolutely awful. I had prepared well in terms of notes and listening, but the practice in a tense environment was not there, so it was no surprise that I did not make it past the first round. Ah well, things learned and things improved on already.

That Saturday I played in a conducting masterclass of Mahler's First Symphony and then in a side by side rehearsal of Beethoven's Third Symphony with Manchester Camerata.

Both truly terrible. Did not play my best at all to the point of it being reaffirmed to me that things would basically not work out for me unless I sort out all my problems.

So of course I go home and decide I'm going to pack music in completely.

That did not last long, and although I am absolutely not one for being driven into learning from failure, this is also a way to somewhat progress so I have taken the steps to minimise the problems in the last two weeks and things are now better.

The following days were so unremarkable but in hindsight some of the most rewarding, as little wins were made and I took the opportunity to be better. That is just a wonderful feeling.

Last weekend in Manchester was really enjoyable with Cameron. We struck a suitable balance of going to new places, combining work with pleasure, and feeling healthy and not wanting to be anywhere else but in the moment of what we were doing.

This week was finally the time for my lecture recital, a project I had been working pretty immensely on over the last few weeks, so to see it come to fruition was rewarding. I don't know the outcome yet but I'm feeling quite positive!

This week culminated in a quintet gig in Matlock. I must admit my preparation really wasn't there for this one, and neither was the sufficient rehearsal time for a long programme, but the music came together and for that I'm happy with how far I and my fellow musicians have come.

Cameron and I marvelled at Ukraine winning Eurovision on Saturday night with a huge landslide of public popularity and solidarity for all that has happened over there. And the UK came 2nd, which is just incredible. The last time the UK won the competition was the year I was born so this was super compelling viewing!

Another trip to Pause for a warming coffee and carrot cake cinnabuffin made up yesterday morning, while Cameron and I planned a trip to the Cotswolds to coincide with a concert I have there in June.

The time I have over the next couple of weeks in the lead up to my recital is a gift so I'm off to go enjoy it!

[tommyoboe]

MANCHESTER - PART TWENTY FIVE.

Today, many things are going through my head. I want a coffee, whisky (bit early for that probably). This train is not good for my shoulder (any guesses for which train company?). Why is no one wearing masks? I wish my laptop could function properly all the time, yet here I am using all my might to hit a basically defunct backspace key. This countryside is glorious. Maybe I'll finish this year and move here to live life as a hermit. Nah, Cameron and I will do up a nice place in Birmingham and it'll be grand.

I thought I'd leave this post brewing a bit longer, as I am on the train home to my home city of Hull for a few days of recuperation after a term full to the brim.

Opera rehearsals for Le Nozze di Figaro have formed the central basis of the last three weeks. I'm pretty braindead if I'm speaking frankly after the last of five performances this week. Looking back on my notes of the experience, I was clearly super keen and eager to start, feeling an immense level of inspiration to think seriously about opera jobs. Then again, I flailed about with a slug that had intruded the house and a laptop that had got soaked from some sudden downpours that day, so maybe my head wasn't screwed on right. Eh, when is it ever.

Can confirm, laptop survived. Don't really give a s*** about the slug.

The rest of the experience was perhaps on a minute level comparable to the scenes I have witnessed in the brilliant This Is Going To Hurt, a series documenting the unimaginably difficult work of the NHS and more importantly, how little support goes towards public services in the UK. It makes my heart ache tremendously.

It goes without saying that rehearsing an opera is nowhere near that level of work, but it is a marathon and I have been grabbing for any extra bits of time whenever possible, just to sit down for a cup of tea or talk to family.

However, I was still able to fit in time to spend with my boy Cameron, as we strolled through Deansgate, browsed books, sampled shortbread, then savoured wonderful sausage pasta bake with cannellini beans to go with some work on reeds and Saturday evening quizzes.

Constant rehearsals have taken a toll on my solo playing. This aspect of my performance was never particularly strong, but not having the required time to refine technique and reeds has had an impact on the quality of my playing as an individual.

However, lessons have been rewarding, ensuring progression has remained. I'm particularly pleased with some aspects of my cor anglais playing for an upcoming audition, with my teacher seeing how much I wanted the role in some excerpts. Others not so good, but there is time to work on those now!

The opera performances began last Sunday, and overall they have been very much a success. Some individual aspects need refinement but there were moments, particularly in the third of five shows, that were just sparkling, bringing much joy to everyone involved and the audience.

It was those moments where I felt, oh no, I wasn't delusional believing this is something I would enjoy doing long term. I relish the challenge and love playing with great players, as I have been with this show's lineup. Very lucky indeed, so despite other reservations, thanks RNCM for this incredible project.

I also got to mingle with fellow wind players much more than I would have otherwise, including perhaps a few too many drinks from the college bar and other places I could easily have fallen asleep in, and trips to Rudy's and Umami to unwind properly in between the intensity of rehearsals.

You could say I may even miss it.

I have learnt that despite days off being important, I have crashed pretty severely in all the ones most recently. Feelings on many matters have hit me at once, leaving me staring at the floor and putting the brakes on my day and life temporarily. Even if it's just for twenty minutes, it feels like longer. And I'm still torn on how to deal with this kind of stuff, like it's good to talk to people but sometimes you have to acknowledge and deal with these things yourself in your own way. Currently, burying my head in the sand and remaining busy has worked for me.

On that note, I am looking forward to some time to relax at home, but I also don't want to confront everything I feel about everything right now.

Either way, like in Le Nozze di Figaro, this is just the end of the third act. The fourth and final act is just around the corner!

[tommyoboe]

MANCHESTER - PART TWENTY FOUR.

I'm getting worse at these introductions.

*an hour of semi-intensive reed activity later*

Well, that went well. I managed to cut my finger and spend the rest of the hour complaining about it whilst attempting to tie on another reed.

Don't spend your Sunday afternoons with me, folks.

It's not quite as bad as my shoulder and upper arm, which last Monday suddenly found themselves in a considerable amount of pain. I later discovered on a trip to the physiotherapist that it is probably a minor shoulder impingement. I won't go into detail on what that is exactly but exercises have helped and I am in a much better place than I was even last week.

The saddest part was not being able to play in rehearsals at the start of last week but within a couple of days I could bring myself to recommence with no pain.

Last weekend I visited Birmingham and Cameron, where we enjoyed phenomenal brownies from Bake; browsed The Clean Kilo's spectacular selection of grains, spices, teas and just about everything else in Moseley; revelled in a divine Early Bird Bakery treats (an apple and cinnamon croissant for me), and Peaky Blinders to go with some whisky.

What was almost as great as the above were the heavenly leftover squash fritters I came back to.

I promise that's the peak of my pretentiousness...

After a lesson of good hard work on Tuesday, the following day saw me head back to Birmingham to spend the rest of the week rehearsing for a performance with the CBSO. It was my first time playing with the orchestra, so it was a pleasure reuniting with familiar faces from lessons and coaching sessions I had during my time in Birmingham as an undergraduate student.

I was on a high after a great first rehearsal, so treated myself to a rare Starbucks caramel frappuccino (the craving was just too much), then hot dogs and amazing brownies from Love A Latte to go with that evening's episode of The Apprentice.

Really varying it up with those brownies.

Friday was mostly a series of fuck ups, spending two hours on unsuccessful reeds and then managing to mangle the inside of a toaster with a spoon, leaving the spoon inside as I rushed out to rehearsal.

Thanks Cameron for being able to sort it like an actual adult...

Yesterday's concert was really nice, and a memorable start to what will hopefully be many more of these wonderful opportunities to do what I really want as a career. I'm truly grateful to those who are making it possible for me at this stage. Even if these aren't regular to begin with, to be increasingly asked to take part in these ventures shows that the next life step is here, and I'm ready for whichever way it progresses in the coming months and years.

Today has been a deservedly relaxed affair, despite my reed catastrophe. Cameron and I took great pleasure in our first brunch at Early Bird, where my choice was mushrooms in toast with goat's cheese, tarragon and THE best kale and almond pesto that I must replicate at home. We enjoyed a stroll through idyllic Moseley and then bakery delights with the latest Aladdin. The film was quite good, to be fair, but not as good as the incredible fudge and hazelnut pain au chocolat I had.

Time to relax, as is customary with Sunday evenings. I believe in really working hard as much as is necessary, so for me, this Sunday evening slot is a key opportunity to unwind and refresh for the week ahead. That sense of adrenaline and energy for the new week is vital for me. What is life without that?

Anyway, see you soon, I'm off to help Cameron in the kitchen!

[tommyoboe]

MANCHESTER - PART TWENTY THREE.

I'm going to keep this entry fairly short as I need to tie on reeds and bury my head in an opera score. In the same hour I need to play through a concerto for turntable.

Drastic career change this weekend.

Just kidding!

Valentine's with Cameron was lovely. We enjoyed treacle porridge with life enhancing salted caramel and chocolate hot cross buns; strolled through the Digbeth indoor market; relaxed with Faculty coffee and savoured squash on toast for dinner.

Back in Manchester, I spent the week preparing for a weekend of performances. The results of preparation were mixed, but evening quizzes and Bare Bones hot chocolate helped me unwind through the vicious storm outside.

Those notes of raspberry jam, mmm...

A much needed evening of laughs and games made up Friday night, accompanied by hot chocolate and divine coffee rum courtesy of Cameron.

Pretty magnificent.

Admittedly the performances weren't magnificent, but with incredibly limited time to piece everything together, I was happy with the overall quality.

A two hour delay to Manchester from Huddersfield made up Sunday evening. Because apparently, boats crashing into bridges are not regular occurrences.

On a positive note, I spent most of the eventual journey watching Legend over the top of another passenger's seat. I think I'll be giving it a go with sound!

This week has centered around a project with the Chamber Orchestra of Europe: an ambitious challenge of performing Brahms' Third Symphony without conductor. Although this decision was perhaps an unnecessary one, it gave the group an opportunity to work on leadership and following skills. It was my individual responsibility to start and end the piece, which was exciting and helped me personally with my internal rhythm.

The musicians were apprehensive as the stage was set, but the performance was successful. Things came together and there were moments of unity and musical greatness.

Auditions were intertwined with the rehearsals for this project, including for the end of year Symphony Orchestra project and the college's Gold Medal Prize. All could have been met with better preparation, but with a full schedule in the days before, I did my best.

This weekend I have had chance to recuperate and prepare for the new challenges in the coming weeks, whilst welcoming Cameron here in Manchester for a treaty few days. We revelled over lunches at Takk and Idle Hands; sensational Gooey cookies; new adventurous home cooking; browsing brilliant bags and cookbooks in Utility and delving into deli delights this afternoon with chai and chocolate coffee.

I'm bustling with energy to get back to my instrument and the things that matter. This reflection has been great in clearing my head and setting me up for the coming week.

A bit of German learning will make this time complete before I tie on those reeds.

So, to it.

[tommyoboe]

MANCHESTER - PART TWENTY TWO.

Once again, I am just going to remind myself it is so nice not to be residing in a house where the contents is swimming around.

The primary reason for this reminder is my initial thoughts on the last two weeks revolve around feelings of rushing around, trying to squeeze every last bit of achievement out of each moment of each day, and as much as I miss being able to take some proper time to clear my mindset, this state of being is a world better than what I had in Paris. As I reflect more since moving back to Manchester, I realise how lonely and isolated I felt, pushing myself to carry on mentally and physically when this was perhaps more to my detriment than good.

So dashing off for my solo recital last Monday was not such a stressful thing, knowing that although in that moment I was leaving Cameron, I would see him again soon and what I was doing filled me with excitement.

The recital itself, a series of solo pieces by Antal Doráti, went rather well, with the performance aspect a particular highlight.

My first Symphony Orchestra project of the year fully kicked off the next day, with a series of rehearsals for a hugely challenging programme. Piecing together two titan French works was certainly a challenge, but I gave myself credit where it was genuinely due. The concert itself was a celebration of concentrated work, and although upon listening back there were areas of ensemble that fell down, on a personal level I was happy with how I played, and could hear the improvements from Paris. Donc, merci pour ça.

By the weekend I was extremely deprived of sleep. This reflected in mixed results whilst attempting productivity on a trip to Birmingham, but more importantly I enjoyed spending time with Cameron over coffee and sweet treats at the Medicine Bakery, then an apple, sugar and custard brioche from the Early Bird Bakery to have with a Sunday coffee at home.

Monday was a write off. The coach journey back to Manchester took 6 hours, up from 2 and a quarter hours. A sad McDonald's at 10pm made up my food for that day.

The last few days have certainly been better, with lots of playing and some room for practising what's needed for the next couple of weeks. Prioritising has been good, especially in moments of little time.

I very much enjoyed playing Gounod's Petite Symphonie with some fellow musicians in a mid-year concert at the end of the week. It was a lovely relaxed project in the midst of preparing some demanding repertoire, so more of these opportunities would be great.

Birmingham again this weekend has been a delight. Cameron and I treated ourselves to a meal at Edgbaston's The High Field. Most of the conversation was us in excitement over the divine offerings of this tasty spot.

And whilst doing all I can today to cement my weekly aims, Cameron and I found time to visit the Early Bird Bakery once more and sample some sensational sweets. The orange cheesecake blondie was one of the absolute best.

Busy couple of weeks in store. I will be excited but now I just want to be able to play without feeling rushed. The temptation is always there to dive straight into repertoire but with the recent news that I'm going to be playing with the CBSO next month, I have to be patient and get better at the oboe in the best way possible.

So, off I go.

[tommyoboe]

MANCHESTER - PART TWENTY ONE.

I just had another read of my last Paris blog entry and honestly, it's just so nice not to see the contents of the house swimming around.

Settling back into Manchester life has been surprisingly straightforward after coming from the mad world that is Paris. It's a wonderful place, but to live there is something else. Even just not having to take ten minutes out of the day to decipher in French how I'll ask for some musical parts is a huge relief, and to be back in a place where I'm truly comfortable is right and what's needed for this last semester.

Performing the Vaughan Williams Oboe Concerto last Tuesday in the Concerto Competition final was joyful, even if it wasn't technically perfect. It was one of the first times I noticed my improvements since Paris and for that I'm grateful.

I got to see my mum and Ant that Thursday, who had kindly brought my remaining belongings from home that I left over Christmas. We also chatted a great deal about the last few months, what has been gained from my time away and what the future holds. We also had the usual discussion on everything wrong with the world. I also muttered my usual expletives at non-mask wearers.

Lovely day out.

Playing with other musicians has once again been a delight, in quartet and orchestra rehearsals. The latter have been extremely challenging in places, with repertoire that is rather beyond my current remit. Certain passages have come out in a splat of panic, which funnily enough, is not how they are supposed to sound. However, more important elements such as intonation and blend of sound are generally promising at this stage.

Last weekend I welcomed Cameron here in Manchester for the first time since the summer and we enjoyed a largely food based weekend of pie, coffee, homely bakes, deli treats and Brooklyn Nine-Nine. I even made five reeds and reflected on a personal level about what has been working well since arriving back in the UK. I am finding this to be a useful exercise in building motivation and finding contentment in the everyday, something that I have struggled with in the past.

It wouldn't be a blog post of mine without an amusing anecdote or two. Unfortunately I don't think trying to sort a jammed drawer with a ruler at midnight compares to any of the disasters I had in Paris, but it filled this week's spot suitably. Earlier that evening I caught up with some home friends over Zoom, which was lots of fun, although my mind admittedly got itself tangled up with apprehensions about areas of concern over the following few days, which on reflection, was just silly. However, l learned from it so there's a positive.

Lessons have been thoroughly beneficial and enjoyable since being back. I have this new enthusiasm to get exactly what I want out of each one, and my tutors have commented on a difference in my sound, which just makes me ecstatic really. After a slog through lessons of things not being good enough and feeling like quitting the instrument altogether, it means so much more to have some validation again. I just have to be more confident as a player this year.

Cameron has been here again this weekend, and I feel incredibly lucky to have him back in my life on a more regular basis, as well as all those I have missed during my time away. Just writing this in the comfort of home with him asleep next to me is all I need.

However, we treated ourselves to more pie, some sensational pork belly and grilled cheese; then life enhancing Gooey cookies and today a dinner of deli treats. After running through some audition material it will be time to take it easy for the rest of the day. I have a busy couple of weeks so this time will be enjoyed.

Manchester, it's good to have you back in my life.