totallylogicalthoughts

[totallylogicalthoughts]

I had cherries today. It is currently winter where I live so Idk where the hell the cherries come from. I discover that today is also one of my favourite character’s birthday.

So I have named today as “Cherry Day”. On this day every year, I must eat cherries to honour Kakyoin.

Although somethings didn’t go great today, I am happy by this fact

[totallylogicalthoughts]

Story 5 of I may or may not be dyslexic:

The other day, I was texting my dad about buying crocs for my mother. Instead of typing crocs, I typed crocks. TO MY DAD

So I text my friend right after I realised what I have done. She was so confused on why I was panicking “???? I JUST TYPED THE WORD FOR THE MALE REPRODUCTION ORGAN TO MY DAD! I’m so embarrassed!”

Turns out, the male reproduction organ is spelled cock and crocks is a type of pot.

No wonder my friend was confused on why I was panicking so much.

For future reference:

Crocs - the shoe brand

Crock - a type of pot

Cock - the male reproduction organ / a male chicken

[totallylogicalthoughts]

Do you sometimes watch a love story a think “damn, I wish that happened to me” before releasing that will never happen to do bc your personality does not match the characters in the story and therefore a love story like them will never happen to you and then you spend the next week or so internally crying and throwing a tantrum about it?

That or realised “oh wait, I’m not a man or am I gay” and internally crying and wishing you were born a man so that you can at least have some kind of hope of experiencing a love story like them?

No? Just me? Please don’t say this is just me 😭

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So I have two friends, one is a vegetarian and the other one is a lesbian. For some reason, I can never remember that they are vegetarian and lesbian. Which caused this to happen:

Me: why did you order that? The signature dish of this restaurant is *insert this dish that have meat in it that I can’t remember*

Friend: I’m a vegetarian

Me: OMFG I AM SO SORRY I KEEP ON FORGETTING! AHHH

Friend: is okay, I know

Me: …

Friend: …

Me: wait, are you also the one who I keep on forgetting is a lesbian?

Friend that’s next to us: nope! That’s me!

Me: fuck

Then both of my friend laugh their ass off 😔

[totallylogicalthoughts]

Insults I thought of: part 3

“Such my dick”

“You don’t have one 🙄”

“No yet! With advanced technology and transgender surgery, theoretically I could get one”

“BuT iT wOn’T bE rEaL”

“Wow, you trashing on trans people?! Right after pride month?! That just shows how homophobic people are”

Or

“Right near pride month?!” Or “during pride month?!”

Either one works, depending on your situation

[totallylogicalthoughts]

Insults I thought of: part 2

Rude person: “Tell me something Idk 🙄”

“the average size of an un-erected male dick is about #cm in length and circumference. Oh wait, sorry, you probably already know that since, well… male doesn’t get erected around you. Actually, being around you probably does the opposite effect of erecting men. OMG! That’s why you’re so pissy at everyone! Is bc you’re so sexually frustrated!”

(Idk what the average size of a male dick is. Look it up yourself or just make up a believable number)

[totallylogicalthoughts]

Insults I thought of: part 1

“Go fuck yourself, cause that’s probably the only pleasure you ever going to get!”

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FFFFFUUUUUUUCCCCCKKKK WHY DOES EVERY FICTIONAL MAN I HAVE ROMANTIC ATTRACTION TO IS A FUCKING TWINK!

I swear I was meant to be born as a gay male and not heterosexual

WHY DOESN’T THOSE SAID FICTIONAL MAN EXIST! 😭

If I had a dollar for every time I unintentionally romantically liked a twink, I WOULD HAVE OPEN UP A BANK ACCOUNT AND HAVE THIS AS A VERY PASSIVE INCOME SAVING

[totallylogicalthoughts]

So yk the saying in gambling or anything related to that “the house always win”

So what you telling is that in order to win at gambling I need to own a casino ? 

[totallylogicalthoughts]

When you’re on your period, does anyone feel like they want to cut off their legs at their knees and/or pop their leges off from their hip socket and/or cut/pop their arms off at their elbow and also feel like they want to physically crawl out of their skin as if the skin is really uncomfortable and your whole body is just uncomfortable and feel like is not yours/shouldn’t be feeling this way?

No? Just me? Is there something wrong with me?????

[totallylogicalthoughts]

My friend: I want to get into basketball!

Me: yea go for it!

Friend: I also have an advantage!

Me: what is it?

Friend: what are we?

My first thought: what the hell does that question have to do with anything????

My second thought: ha, that’s what the romance stories say when the couple are not in a clear romantic relationship. Kind of a cringe question, wouldn’t want to be asked that question. The again, fair enough, is good to want to clear any misunderstanding. Romantic confession are kind of cringe and awkward.

Well I know for sure he isn’t asking that question as a romantic question bc I’m 100% sure both we are not into each other romantically.

Hmmm what was the question again??? Ah damn it, I forg- “what are we”! And the answer is related to basketball. It can’t be tall bc I’m not tall, I don’t even know if he’s tall enough. He’s lot more fitter than me too.

“What are we?” Right, okay, well we are friends. Well I do consider him as my friend, one of the best friend I had so far in my life. I really do hope we can continue on this friendship, I really like him. I never gotten this deep bro-ship with a boy before! This is all I ever want! Wait, does he consider me as a friend? I could be this annoying thing he deal with and eventually become numb to the annoyance? Now that I think about it, we hardly talk about our personal life, all we do is joke around. So I can’t say “friend” as an answer. What was the question again???

“What are we” right, so that question implies that the answer is something we have in common. Well, I can’t say gamers bc that’s a cringe answer. And besides, the video games he like to play is the ones I don’t like.

“What are we?” Hmmmm AHHH FUCK IT. I hate social rules. Why is communicating so complicated! WHY MUST THERE BE UNDERLINE MEANING! Why can’t people just mean what they say! Agh! I hate figuring out what people is trying to say. JUST TELL ME STRAIGHT!

Ykw, fuck it, Imma give a stupid answer, that way whatever happens, it’ll be funny. What are we…. Hmmmmm what do we have in common on a biological pov? I can always rely on biology! Well, we both have a liver! No no, that’s too specific. Well, we are both mammals! No, that’s too board. He said “what are we” so it is something we have in common. He said “what are we” I can’t say mammals bc that’s also means dogs and monkeys and other animals. Well, human are animals. But no, something more specific…. Wait, I just used the right word just then! What was it? AHHH DAMN IT! Short term memory, don’t fell me now! HUMANS! The answer is humans!

Me: humans? (Ahhh damn it, I probably thought too long about that question and now I’ve made everything weird and I don’t even remember the context of what we were talking about)

Friend: Asian, we are Asian.

Me: oohhh right! (That makes sense bc there’s a stereo type that says Asian are good at basketball. I think that’s what he meant, Idrk. But this is why I like him, he is funny) 



[totallylogicalthoughts]

Heyyy girly, you so sweet, you give me type two diabetes

I’m very proud of myself for coming up with that one (even though it probably already exists). The reaction I get from people who do biology related stuff is amazing.

Anyways, the point is, if you need a good laugh, just say that pickup line to any biology related people and watch their reactions

[totallylogicalthoughts]

Story 4 of I may or may not be dyslexic:

For creative fun, I have to write a message to the whole school as the school nurse about how to avoid getting sick.

I wrote “exercise to get your blood move around your musical so your defence system can kill any inactive bad guys”

my friend read it “blood move around your musical?”

Me: “no is muscles”

*me reading where my friend is reading*

“oh oops, that was meant to be muscles”

I also can’t tell the difference between biased and based (I hope you typed two different words there). Both words I use to write psychology essay tests.

My friends worries about my English grade, as they should, bc they are right. My English grades is not going well. But hey, at least for all my other subjects, as long as the teacher understands what I mean, spelling don’t matter 😎

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Heyyy, you wanna have sex?

Is for fanfic research purpose…

Yea, totally for fanfic research purpose *swallows hard* man, is it just me or is this room getting real hot?

Well I suppose that’s what happens when you’re around

Ha-ha, get it? Bc you’re hot…

.

.

.

PLEASE SAY YES I REALLY NEED THIS MY READERS NEED TO BE FED AND I WANT TO LIVE I NEED TO MEET THE DEADLINE OR ELSE I WILL GET EATEN BY THEM

[totallylogicalthoughts]

You: *says a year*

Everyone dad: “ah yes, the year your mother and I meet. I remember it like yesterday” *swipe a tear from the corner of his eyes* “I was getting my daily vitamin D like usual, until I saw your mother. That’s when I realised there’s actually 4 ways I can get my daily vitamin D because her beauty shines like the sun herself. Like any man with balls, I gone up and greet her. Now listen, I ain’t any religious man by any means, but when she greets me back, I understand what people mean by ‘a hundred angels singing’. Like any man with the iconic male organ, I ask her out. She said yes of course! And that’s how I meet you mother kids.

You have her gorgeous hair, but most importantly, you have my charm. Now go out there, spread my genes around, go make me proud!

…

Just kidding, you already makes me proud. son” *winks at you and give you a few pets on the back*

You: *looks over to the person you were having a conversation with just to see both of you have the same confused expression* *looks back to where Everyone dad was standing but only realised he’s gone, blend into the crowd maybe, or disappeared like dust in the wind or maybe, just maybe, he was carried anyway by angels and he was a religious man after all. Whatever the case is, you maybe never will find the answer you seek

[totallylogicalthoughts]

After watching the Sinner, listening to country-music-like songs and reading a cowboy X Englishman fanfic, I want to date a farmer boy now 😔

That, or go to something like a farm festival with farmers playing country songs and dancing, real life cowboys doing cowboys stuff, farmers selling their fresh goods, ect

I’m not picky, either one works, just depends on whichever one comes first

[totallylogicalthoughts]

AAAAAHHHH

I’m in a bad mood,

Person comes up to me and said something I’m very much not interested in

Now I’m forced to be in a conversation I don’t like but I can’t show my dislike through rolling my eyes, frowning or any other visual way bc is not acceptable by society.

WHY IS IT THAT I CAN ONLY SHOW POSITIVE EMOTIONS AND NOT NEGATIVE ONES??? If I show a negative one, it is frowned upon by society.

STOP SUPPRESSING ME AND LEAVE ME ALONE WITH ALL THE SILENT SOCIAL RULES EVERYONE HAVE TO FOLLOW

Why can’t we be more transparent? Why must we beat around the bush all the time? Can’t we do that only sometimes and not all the time? Why why why why?