toyalove

[toyalove]

Hihihihihihi!!! How are you? I love your blog too much!

I would like to ask you what kind of person you think Toya would date? Like personality and things like that

hello i am fine and thank you for enjoying my blog :)

as a start i think i will need to preface that i am a toya yume so in that sense i'll think and imagine that he is dating me. that kind of thing.

do note the opinions below are all subjective and based on what my personal belief on toya is.

but as a serious question:

it'll be easier for me to point out the flaws toya has (or once had). because i imagine that toya would look for a lifelong partner that will guide him through his hardest times

hates disappointing but instead of confronting he used to resort to running away as his first solution

because of that running away he gets scared of using his words for the fear of disappointing even more

he is a perfectionist. to the point he will only realise it when the weight of his own expectations crushes him

he has troubles expressing himself and has a tendency to shut off instead of confronting those feelings. he can also be stubborn with those feelings.

toya to me, is an angel but like all humans he has flaws, sometimes glaring and sometimes he will try to hide them.

toya needs someone who is headstrong and fiery. he needs someone to be upfront with him when his flaws are showing. toya works best when he can feel like he can stand next to you and be there for you. he would want to share your dreams because it means that he can be there for you, supporting you, and be stubborn to you if you feel like giving up.

he knows what it feels like to hide yourself away to avoid disappointing people, so he'd do his absolute best to not let that happen to someone he loves. likewise, toya needs someone who confronts him, talks to him when those moments happen to him. that's where the headstrong person comes, someone who would not give up on toya even if he is the most stubborn person on earth. to not let him run away and wallow in the depths of his emotions, and instead let him express all those complex emotions to you.

toya has perfectionist tendencies, which can make him obsessive and frustrated over small details, causing him to neglect self care or shut down. toya would need someone to ease his anxieties of "not being good enough" by trusting him. trust that toya will do his best for you, and for him to trust that no matter what you'll still love him even if it ends up disappointing. toya needs someone to tell him to relax and take care of himself.

he trusts that you will stand by his side even if he wants to give up, because he will do the same for you too. stand by his side and he will always be by yours.

[toyalove]

hi there toya fan how do you feel about toya getting the line “you’ve got nonsense expectations, even now” in the vbs brain revolution girl cover

well i never really take note of cover lines unless its a cover i am personally interested in (i mainly only like duo covers or solo alt vocals jsjdjs) also i try not to take it too hard in case toya doesn't get lines i like (i am looking at you, surges. yes you. salty is an understatement)

but thank you for the ask. judging based on when the cover released, since it was before blender and haven i would say it could be a setup for what happened in blender. when toya had "nonsense" level expectations for himself — to the point he neglected reflecting on his own feelings towards music, because he was so focused on creating the "perfect sound". but the perfect sound can never be attained if he keeps unconsciously running away. he never really realised his music was missing "him" until he was told it lacked pride. he needed to know as a member of vbs, wanting to surpass rad weekend, and composing music that floods people with emotion, that his own heart and pride in his sound is important too.

it could also be an honest reflection on how he felt towards the growing strictness his father had when he was still doing classical music mainly. what brought so much joy and love into toya's heart slowly turned bitter because toya couldn't beat the weight of all the expectations around him, that isn't just his family. toya too had those expectations as he hated disappointing people. i think that toya’s honesty and seriousness to his father is what brought him here and i’m very proud that he had the courage.

though i think. i think slowly toya is growing more to let go of the perfectionist expectations for himself. those who love and care for him will still love and care for him even if he has disappointed them once, or twice, or a couple hundred times. i love that he is opening up and asking questions about himself to understand his heart better. it is for him to love and hold on to tradition, while blending together the sounds he loves.

[toyalove]

toya and complex emotions

anyways i've been thinking about that sort of expression the latest mizuki card has. the type of happiness so great that its uncontainable and uncontrollable. its an extremely complex thing to describe and so i’ve been thinking about complex emotions in toya’s context.

for toya who always had a difficult time with his emotions and expressing them, he has this certain barrier to pass through. complex emotions do not come easy for toya especially. they overwhelm him, especially negative emotions. it is why he tends to keep remembering his negative memories more. he needs reminders that he still can love something even if it still contains those downs because they are part of his identity.

the "can i really still love after everything" barrier. to have this acknowledgement that "yes, i can still love" means he will have to face his younger self, and talk to his family about his experiences.

his younger self is one full of wonder, love and innocence. he loves each sound that passes through his ears because each sound paints a little picture in his imaginative world. but how would toya feel looking at his younger self, staring up at him wide eyed?

that young boy was a boy who still tripped up on his notes, fell asleep on books, and made mistakes. the perfectionist in toya would feel angry, because he knew what it was like to disappoint everyone around him. the incorrect notes pierce his ears as his perfectionism takes over. though, the toya who so badly wants to love and understand himself, would see a young boy who, for all his life, only wants to love music for what it is. a beautiful, colorful thing.

what i really want, when that little boy sits wide eyed on the piano and plays for his older self, is for toya to break free from the barrier he put himself behind. frankly, i want toya to cry. i'd go as far as to say i need him to cry. to cry at the sound of those imperfect yet innocent and carefree notes, free from the crushing weight of his own perfectionism. to wince and cover his ears, but yet realise that the young boy continues playing because simply he loves music so much, the mistakes are just naturally a part of it. i want him to cry because i imagine toya looking back at how much music has seranaded his heart more than he ever knew. because then will i think that toya will be able to fully acknowledge and embrace the music he has come to love and create.

the only way to fully love yourself and the things you love is to embrace all the emotions it encompasses, and that includes the tears. i want toya to sit by his younger self, and play the notes that create the beautiful sound toya always dreamed about, notes that embrace tradition while weaving in all of the experiences toya has had or will have.

toya, who loves music more than anything, to experience and share those uncontrollable emotions with himself and everyone.

[toyalove]

an actual baby i love his expression in the new mv so much. aoyagi toya my love

[toyalove]

toya cameo for mizuki birthday

it seems like mizuki invited toya and the other cast members to meet and play together at spojoy park

toya (p.1): apologies for being late. we were all together until about halfway, where various things happened so, we all had to make a few detours.

toya (p.2): akiyama, congratulations. i too feel really happy to play together like this. let's all have fun today

and of course toya is bad at sports but that's ok toya i still love you; he tried to throw the ball the best he can but he miserably failed BECAUSE IT ENDED UP ROLLING BEHIND HIM 😭😭😭😭😭😭 kanade thought that he threw it so far it disappeared but no it just fell out of his hand and rolled behind DESPITE ALL THE EFFORT TOYA PUT INTO IT.

kanade: eh...! the ball, is gone? did it get thrown so far that it disappeared?

ena: um.. it seems like the ball just fell out of toya's hands the moment he tried throwing it. look, its rolling behind him

toyachan please never change

[toyalove]

the stream today that showed clpl's art process and alternate versions of the art we know today made me wonder... about an alternate reality where they gave whale toya full blown proper fish tail. not just a cloth tail attached to clothing but. A FULL ON ELLEN JOE FISH TAIL

oh imagine the potential if toya had a full on fish tail i want him to cuddle his tail or something

[toyalove]

EVENT STORY SPOILERS

toya didn't just buy souvenirs from america for his family, he also bought souvenirs for his kamikou friends like mizuki 🥺

toya: its already the end of our break time, we should get back to our classrooms soon

toya: oh right. i bought some american souvenirs for akiyama. i'd be happy if you could accept it later

mizuki: souvenirs? yay!

mizuki: thank you toya-kun! i'm very much looking forward to it ♪

[toyalove]

the way his hair 🥺🥺🥺🥺

oh he's so round and CUTE he's telling us to take care in this summer heat

[toyalove]

i saved this shot from blender side story for future reference; regarding toya and bento lunch boxes

toya's mother: "i made a bento lunchbox with yesterday's leftover food. if you'd like, please take it along with you"

nothing very deep about this... but i find it adorable how toyamama has been making bentos for toya and hasn't stopped (i know mysekai came later but i love the continuation toya has with this)

a lot of people find comfort in home-cooked food and i'm glad toya too, loves it. it feels like a very nice tie in to his story since a large portion revolves around his family too

i like thinking that toyamama loves seeing toya enjoy her cooking. for example, seeing toya bring out the lunch she makes for him, seeing toya enjoy her food even if she isn't gordan ramsay, so she starts cooking more so he can warm food everyday. she will gladly make the same food again if toya likes it no matter how challenging.

+ her cookies also being one of toya's best memories of his mother. toya doesn't care that they aren't the best cookies in this world because all he cares about is the warmth from those cookies made by his mother and sharing that with everyone.

[toyalove]

random factoid (?): as souvenirs from america, toya bought tea for his mother, coffee for his family to share, and some chocolates

i love cute little moments like this where toya thinks about his family, buying gifts for them and thinking about whether they'll like those gifts. he bought tea for his mother, as requested by her, and he spent time trying out different coffee flavours, picking one he would love to try with his parents.

he was worried that because he chose the beans based on his own preferences, he wasn't sure if his parents would like it. yet, vbs consoled him and told him that there wasn't really anything to worry about.

he also bought chocolate that his parents would like with the help of the store staff... i find it very cute and endearing that he wants to share his experiences in america through his gifts

[toyalove]

toya and “beautiful sounds”

"so each time i worked hard, music answered me. i got to listen to beautiful sounds i never thought i’d get to hear”

the flash of memories toya had when he met a young boy who was in a band, struggling to produce the "beautiful sound" he wanted to hear. that boy wanted to give up, he felt that he didn’t deserve to be in a band if he couldn’t even produce a single sound on the trumpet.

just like toya, the boy felt like he couldn’t meet the expectations of the people around him. that boy felt the weight of disappointment both from himself and the expectations of his band members.

toya: that feeling where you just want to give up, i know what it is like.

toya saw his angriest, most dejected self in that young boy. the “i'm letting everyone down", the "i just can't do it no matter how much i try", the "maybe i just have no place in music".

because like that boy, toya too, had his own dream of "producing the kind of sound i've dreamed of". what is now toya's "uniquely toya" sound, the blend of classical tradition and street, was once the dream of a young boy who loved and admired his father's music. that music was the music that introduced toya to a colorful world full of new things and experiences.

since toya was a child, he had always wanted to make music that was beautiful, and emotional just like his father's. him remembering the details of his father's piano, remembering how much each note moved him, fuelled toya's current love for composing music — something he had always wanted to do.

being an introspective person since he was a young child, meant that music was toya's main outlet for self-expression. but when you constantly fail to produce the beautiful sounds that you’ve always dreamed of, it is extremely crushing and demotivating. that avenue for self-expression crumbles when all of it comes out as anger from not being “good enough”. music being toya's first love makes it even more crushing, as he used to only remember all the anguish. the over-focus on "being good enough" instead of focusing on what toya really wanted (producing a beautiful sound) led to toya feeling he had no place to go.

toya: i felt the same way as you. being unable to produce the sound you want is extremely frustrating. i genuinely felt like crying when i realised how inadequate i was.

toya: i don’t even know how many times i felt like running away

toya: when i saw that child's smile, i remembered.... the joy i had when i touched the piano for the first time, the joy i had when i finally played a beautiful sound for the first time with these hands.

yet, because music is toya's first love, the love that shaped his world view, his passions, his life. he never let go. he has come to embrace all those hardships and happy moments because they made him the valuable, music loving kid everyone knows. vbs takes pride in the sounds toya produces and his feedback because they know how much toya values the colorful world of music.

toya, seeing the spark of wonder on that young boy's face when he finally produced the beautiful sound he'd always wanted, it reminded toya of the little boy that resides in his heart, the little boy who experienced the shiny keys of that piano in his home. the little boy who sparkled and marveled at the new sounds in his ears.

this event has also shown me the side of toya nurturing love for music in others with his own experiences, the empathetic side of toya. toya so willingly, gifts his love for music to others, introducing them to how truly beautiful music is in hopes they find their spark just like he did. toya's heart for gift giving, far transcends that of physical gifts when you see just how much softness and purity is in his heart when he talks about music.

your "beautiful sound" will only happen when you find that spark. when you find your spark, music will find its way to answer you as long as you continue loving it. alas for toya, his "beautiful sound" is the joy of having those experiences from his father and the joy of experiencing music with everyone.

[toyalove]

i am extremely late to accelerate (an's latest song) but toya got this really oddly specific line so why not let's overanalyse it for fun

(as a note i try not to take line distribution too seriously but i was trying reaaaaally hard to not gush about this)

and i am also in the works of writing a full analysis on orchestra but. give me time. so let's jump to it

toya: and yet i still have a place i belong in

the toya we now know, is a toya who is discovering new music, beautiful sounds at every corner. that "place he belongs in" is this world where he gets to love the music he loves without disappointing.

he was once someone who tried so hard to lock away his feelings for music, at the same time finds so much comfort in it because it is his lifeline and is something he loved since he was a baby. i'd go as far as to say it is quite literally his first love, judging by how much it shaped his life and his way of thinking.

its ironic this way because even when he found solace in street music, the constant tug of his past dragged him and prevented him from moving forward. the constant "i'm so half-hearted", "are you sure you want to be with me?", that form of self acknowledgement where he knows he is running away from the things he loves. it begs the question for toya: how can he still love music if that guilt keeps consuming him.

though, he so obviously fell in love again when akito came into his life and showed him how colorful music can be. "you're an interesting fellow. why don't you try singing together with me?" in simple terms, the very core part of music is expressing your thoughts and emotions in a way words can't do. the anger, mixed with so many other complex feelings toya can't rack his brain for the words to say, gets shown through his voice instead. "classy, yet a little unpolished, a little rough... but he isn't just good at singing" it is a sound no person can recreate because the sound comes from toya's very own heart.

toya struggled heavily with finding the "suitable words" and fighting his own imposter syndrome of sorts. how could he stand next to akito when the guilt of "running away" from the thing he loved kept eating him up? because what if he does the same thing to akito too? yet despite all of it, akito refuses to let go of toya, "i refuse to group with anyone else but you" — because akito trusts toya. he has seen with his own two eyes what this boy can do when given that place to express himself. that "place" slowly evolved to what vbs is today

regardless of where he is in life, he'll always find a place within music. classical or street, that question doesn't matter anymore, as he has found his home in his own unique sound that he can express in vbs

[toyalove]

toya's reaction to the cloud cushion 🥺

toya: this looks like a really soft and comfortable cushion. i also really like the cloud design.

toya: the cushion especially feels like a dream come true for people who have thought about touching, or sitting on a cloud.

LOOK AT HIM SIT 🥺🥺 he is definitely one of those people who wonder what it is like to touch a cloud...

[toyalove]

i've realised this about toya but why does he love to tilt his head 45 degrees whenever he is thinking. do things make more sense at a 45 degree angle? does more knowledge flow into his head? i need to know his ways...

[toyalove]

when i say side stories drop the most random lore bombs i mean THIS. because what's in the foreshadowing is this... toya coming back from america and wanting to talk to his parents about his experiences, especially his father over coffee

toya: it'll be easy with my mom, but finding time to have coffee with my father would be a little difficult

toya: i want to talk to them about what happened at the music conservatory while drinking coffee

toya: i wonder how they'll react when i tell them

and it goes back to his mysekai dialogue after time to take off -- toya mentioning how he learnt about a side of his father he never knew, and how he would love to get to know more when he has the chance. i wonder if toya6 will set the premise for him and his father to learn more about each other, for those stories to be a new drive for toya to carry that dream harumichi had when he was young -- to discover the ever expanding world of music. knowing toyamama, she would definitely want to talk more about toya as a little kiddo. i think it'll be really cute.

harumichi acknowledging toya is very similar to him in toya's side story from his haven card is such an important moment for toya. maybe, in a way, harumichi wants to pass on that torch to toya so that toya can continue loving all forms of music with no regrets in his heart. it took a lot of time for toya to realise that harumichi always wanted to protect toya, and a lot for harumichi to realise that it was okay for toya to move away from classical music, knowing toya still loves music with his entire being.

looking at it this way, it really feels like toya finally has understood what his father meant when "someday, he'll understand how endless the world of music is". opening the door to that endless world means loving both the good and bad, holding them deep within your heart to find your identity and place in music.

that place just ended up being street music, but that's okay. because toya now knows he can love the classical side of him too.

[toyalove]

picking the best souvenir side story thoughts and analysis

why does clpl always give the most ground breaking lore drops in side stories but whatever

the first side of the story centers around toya's reflection on his musical journey in america and his feelings

i find these lines that he said so important to his story. its a really nice roundup to all of his experiences learning about new forms of music and listening to new sounds.

toya: the world of music is truly so vast. i've learned so much. i once again, got to discover some amazing songs..... i truly, am so grateful. but it isn't just this one opportunity, but also my past experiences--

i remember when toya had a memory of harumichi telling him:

"the world of music is much more vast than you realise. there is no limits in the world of music. but i think one day you will understand what i mean"

in itself is a very vague statement. but it means to show that music is never black and white. what harumichi wanted to instill in toya was to never stop discovering, to never stop learning, to never stop loving. and as revealed in toya5 well, harumichi never really got the opportunity, which is why he wanted his son to discover that for hinself one day. he saw himself in that little boy who marvelled over the sounds.

gratitude and love is a big part of toya's character. he appreciates and remembers all the little experiences because they are part of him. connecting new experiences together with music, is like finding a new haven for toya.

each new sound that enters toya's ears mean so so much to his big heart. learning that classical music can go together with street music, learning that he doesn't need to choose - he can create music that is uniquely him with both experiences. "the feeling of so many types of music becoming one". the colors of experience is more than what reading books can do for toya. and i think that is what harumichi is telling toya when he said the world of music is so vast.

the recurring word in this story is "roots" and it really reminded me of blender's gacha title "roots in the snow" because that very phrase ties in toya's story so well. toya finding his roots stability in the snow is him finding what makes toya, toya. what makes him himself, what makes his music so uniquely toya. that requires him to look back on his past even if it means remembering the failures. its about finding stability in his identity.

but it also means toya, despite everything still stands strong because the root of his being is music. as long as he has music in his life, he will continue walking on and on whether it is winter or summer.

he'll forever remember that first touch with music, the day he heard his father play. to him, it will forever be the most beautiful thing to his ears -- the most unforgettable sound. because that very sound was the sound that led to him living a life surrounded by the thing he loves the most, music. "i want to play a beautiful sound just like that. i want to be able to play like that"

and reflecting on his entire journey to finding himself, i think he has done just that. he has found a beautiful sound that is uniquely him, classical and street.

[toyalove]

toya's "cute", "lovely" — how he perceives the world

diagram credit

going back to the baby room picture books, his first reaction was

"oh these picture books are cute/ lovely"

toya, he has never felt the need to hold back calling things cute. he calls things cute if he thinks they are. i wouldn't say he loves cute things but its more like... he loves the details that go into making the object the way it is and that's why the little decorations on the picnic tree and the flowers in the bicycle basket were part of why he thought the object as a whole was cute. he says "cute" in a very endearing way that is more admiration on all the little and simple things in an object.

returning to the diagram:

for toya, its a very simple, innocent yet adorable way of looking at the things around him. the little functionalities and details of an object is what means the most to him. they make the object lovely because they are all part of this beautiful world and are part of his experiences.

balloons and flowers? must be a birthday party. that is cute, because he thinks you must have put in a lot of effort into making it look good. remember that toya puts the people he loves in very high regard. he trusts that you’ll give it your all when decorating things.

bucket and scoop - its small and he finds it amazing how kids manage to use it to play because he thinks it must be pretty challenging to use.

as for the tent, its him admiring how even such a nicely designed tent still holds the same function as a normal tent. he'd love to use a cutely designed tent like it to camp one day.

he loves the star lamp as he knows its a reference to constellations. he loves the little details put into such a small daily use object.

he calls out these individualistic traits of the objects "cute" because that's just how he admires them. the side that his 可愛らしい leans towards tends to be the more "lovely" side than the actual "cute" side. lovely because these are all little objects he has seen before, yet they are details that make up this colorful world he sees. he just freely calls the objects cute if he thinks they are.

its a very innocent and pure way to look at his environment. yet it is extremely endearing and heartwarming when you witness these moments where toya is talking about these objects. he sees so much joy in daily objects, mundane or not. its something to admire about him. in the end most of them are pretty regular things, but toya, who has an eye for details, always stops to observe these things.

he's such a lovely boy.