tricky-pockets

[tricky-pockets]

My boyfriend has really vivid, elaborate dreams. He’ll often wake up and talk about some grand narrative- travel, exploration, politics, performances. I’ve always been a little jealous, he can hold really good plots together for them sometimes.

But anyway, this does have a downside; vivid, elaborate dreams make for vivid, elaborate nightmares. I can usually tell when it’s one of those nights, since he grinds his teeth pretty badly.

I was never quite sure what to do when I knew he was having a bad time of it, though the grinding alone was enough to worry me and push me towards intervening. I used to just shake him gently, hope to rouse him just enough to reset the dream or something, but it wasn’t too effective and anyway waking him up all the time isn’t good for rest.

I’m rather proud of the strategy I eventually settled on: gently, so as not to wake him up, I’d lay one arm across his hands, wrapping his fingers around me so that he was holding on. Nightmares being nightmares, I can usually count on a pretty tight grip when this happens.

It may seem a little odd, but consider that holding on to something with both hands is typically a very agentic frame of mind. We hold on to things that give us power, in one way or another, and possessing objects often makes us feel powerful in some respects. That has consequences, even for a dreaming mind.

I knew it was working when he woke up rather mystified from one such dream, and told me that he’d been running through the caverns of some dungeon or cave system, pursued by monsters, but then all of a sudden he was holding a giant anime sword and fought them off instead. So I got to be a sword for him that night, I was delighted.

I don’t usually get to know exactly what happened, since even for a very vivid dreamer like Ritter, nine tenths of these things get forgotten. But I know I’ve been things like door handles, steering wheels, stuff like that. And even when I don’t know what I am to him, he doesn’t grind his teeth nearly as much- the sleep is deeper and more peaceful, so I get plenty of feedback that it’s working.

It’s such a perfect encapsulation of love in microcosm, isn’t it? No matter how much you mean to them, and how much they mean to you, the gap between two conscious lives is fundamentally separating you. But fundamental does not mean insurmountable. There’s this whole world in him, full of dreams and perspectives that I’ll never truly experience. But I will be a part of those worlds all the same, finding little ways here and there to make sure that the dreams of me make him a better, stronger, and happier person.

Or at least, so one hopes. It’s a difficult challenge, and things often go awry. But usually you get at least a little lucky.

[tricky-pockets]

also everything big

Everything small should be cheap

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When I worked in a medical manufacturing plant, it was really important to check the expiration dates on everything you used -- the glue, the ink, everything. So you had to write them down on the router along with the batch number.

I used to wonder about that, because the batch number is sufficient by itself for being able to look up what materials were used on that job. But it was 100% because copying the date down makes you read it.

never forget the universal rule of the order of things: People Will Not Read It

[tricky-pockets]

Rules of DIY:

if it's a skill, there's rules you can learn

if it's an art, rules are not your concern

make it fucked up or you won't make it

if it's already broken, you can't break it

anything can be fixed with gorilla glue

except for pleather, and also you

[tricky-pockets]

Asking for help is such a wonderful thing. How many times have you thought to yourself "It seems like this person is hurting and I wish I knew what to do to help. I wish I knew what they needed to start feeling better, I wish I knew what to offer that would be welcome"?

If that person asks me for what they need, it's a good thing. I already wanted to help and now I'm not guessing. And if I can't do the thing, maybe I know someone who can.

(I am also trying to get better at offering help, but that's a different post.)

My point is, Spider is right about it not being an imposition. it's an opportunity to get better at doing some good and be a little closer to someone I care about.

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I'm only decent at singing, but I love it a lot and that counts for something i think

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so, I'm a man now, but I used to be a woman. and they actually don't wipe your memory when you start on testosterone. I do know more about being a woman than cis men do. because I have been a woman. this doesn't feel complicated to me.

plenty of trans people feel that they were Always the gender they are. I don't. My gender changed. this also doesn't feel complicated to me.

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GBBO: “A s’more is basically just an Italian merengue sandwiched between two ganache-covered digestives”

Americans:

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dont kill urself until u try adderall and/or transitioning 👍

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I didn't ask if it made sense to keep going. I said I'm going to kick your twisted evil ass.

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I remember the first time a girl put her fingers in my pussy, I was so scared to let her. Things still felt incredibly raw even three months into healing, like the slightest misstep could damage something. It felt like an inconsiderate or brash hand might rip or tear something. And I was so afraid I didn’t look healed enough to actually be pretty to her. Things still felt swollen, and the scars weren’t yet faded. But she laid me down on her bed, the spring sun streaming in the window, and she shushed my protests with a kind and knowing tone. She’d gotten a neopussy a year and a half before me, she’d be careful. So there I was, laying down and looking up at her smiling between my ever so slightly shaking legs. She had lube on her fingers and she leaned into me slowly, with her whole body, resting her other arm on my right knee as she came closer to me. Then she was in, and although I’d been fingered anally before, nothing prepared me for how large and detailed her fingers felt in me. The sensation was so vivid that I couldn’t help but picture precisely where they were in me, what shape they curled into. I could feel so perfectly I might as well have had x-ray vision. She smiled at my surprise. Then she watched me begin to relax. And that’s when she began that caress, that coaxing with her fingers that I had performed on others so often. The pleasure was beyond description except as waves and waterfalls and the desperate powerless need for her not to stop. My eyes were so wide, and I felt just like porcelain being painted by a master craftsman.

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Funniest (fantasy) way to find out you're trans I think. Assigned male by ancient prophecy

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God bless the goths. I brought a friend to the goth dance night I go to and unfortunately, her shitty ex happened to be there. She bolted the second she saw him and explained that that was the guy who assaulted her when they broke up.

Within minutes, we had 10 people keeping an eye on the guy and guarding and comforting my friend while I talked to the people who organize the event. Within 20 minutes, they had gotten security to remove him.

GOTHS HAVE YOUR BACK 🖤

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