trilliath

[trilliath]

weird unprompted opinion but i think out of all the storytelling mediums.....theatre best portrays loneliness

[trilliath]

Look, guys, I'm sorry about the crying but art is a baseball bat and I'm swinging for the kneecaps

[trilliath]

fic: light my nights, bucktommy, e, 7k

it liiiiives!

It had never occurred to Tommy to tell Evan about this the first time around. Honestly, it had never occurred to him to tell anybody. It wasn't always about shame—it hadn't been about shame for a really long time, actually. It had just been…his thing. It wasn't about sex, or even getting off, so there was just no need for anyone to know. But it does…it does matter to him. It is, in a weird, low key kind of way, a part of him. It's as much a part of him as muay thai and flying and tinkering with run down machinery: it's something he does, so in some small way it's something he is. or: The one where Tommy enjoys wearing lingerie, and they both have feelings about that.

[trilliath]

Fluorite Mandrosonoro, Ambatofinandrahana, Amoron’i Mania, Madagascar 

Photo: Fine Minerals International

[trilliath]

tidbit tuesday

thanks @rcmclachlan for the tag... it's still tuesday for a little bit longer here. This is from a fic I'm working on that's riffing off @xtarmanderx's post about Buck making new queer friends and starting (blind) dating again but somehow all roads lead back to Tommy

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He pockets his phone again and takes a deep breath, then turns around and ducks back into the restaurant.

"Everything okay?" the hostess asks now that she's freed from telephone purgatory, thick dark brows peaked sharply together and reminding him of Maddie all of the sudden even though the only thing they really have in common looks-wise is dark hair.

"Yeah. Sure. Just - it turns out that blind date I got set up on is with my ex - who dumped me - who I'm also definitely still in love with," he says, flashing a hollow smile at her when she blinks at the rush of words spilling out of him. "So yeah. My night's going great so far. How about yours?"

"Uh. Good? Yeah," she manages.

She's clearly at a loss, as well she should be since she's already wished him luck tonight, so he ducks an awkward smile-wave thing at her and then slips out into the restaurant to head back over to where Tommy is in the process of standing up at the end of the table, dwarfing both rose blossoms by cradling them in his hand between his fingers, running his thumb over the petals, an unreadable expression on his face.

His attention snaps up when Buck comes back into range, and he looks immediately about as tense as he had when he'd broken up with him, which really sucks to see again.

"So I think I'm going to murder Donato," he says conversationally as he slings himself down into the booth opposite where Tommy had been sitting. "Want to split a bottle of wine and help me plan?"

[trilliath]

I haven't really had a chance to participate in @tommytuesday and I just saw the prompt so, my thought is:

I just really think, that when Buck and Tommy get back together, Tommy gets WAY better at letting Buck take care of him too. So now when he's had a shitty day, when a rescue goes wrong, he gets to come home to Buck, who's been warned ahead of time and runs to their favorite bakery for Tommy's favorite cupcakes, who wraps Tommy in the old throw blanket from the back of the couch and watches movies with him. When that happens, it doesn't take Tommy long to use Buck as his own personal body pillow, like Buck frequently does to him. Life is so much better when he gets to come home to his person.

[trilliath]

tease tidbit tuesday

I've been tagged by @leashybebes, @screamlet, @politenotice, @freneticfloetry, and @ambernotember over the last few days for various tag games. Thanks, fronds!

Here's another little snippet from my WIP, which has finally hit the 10k mark (with probably another 10k to go). This one's less sad than the last few!

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"It was... nice to be back in the air." There's something in Tommy's voice that almost sounds oddly wistful, which makes no sense, considering he's literally sitting in a helicopter.

"W-Were you out sick? You sound kind of…"

The thought of Tommy rattling around his house—sick and alone, with no one to make him soup, or to force Robitussin down his throat or help him change his sheets, or to hold him through a fever and stroke his sweaty hair back from his forehead—makes Buck's gut twist itself into a square knot. He clenches his free hand until the skin of his knuckles bleeds to white.

Tommy's throat clicks when he swallows. "I wasn't sick. I was, uh, suspended."

Buck's leg pulls awkwardly underneath him when he sits up like someone's run 10,000 volts through him. The stretch makes his scars whine a little in protest.

"For what?!"

"I know they don't teach this at the 118, but there are these things called consequences," Tommy begins slowly, because he can be such a bitch, which Buck always thought was hilarious, but he's not laughing now. It's all he can do to not throw his phone.

"Shut up!" Buck snaps, eyes hot. "They—why would they suspend you?! You helped stop a literal pandemic from wiping out the west coast."

"I still stole municipal property. Without permission. Again. If I do it a third time, I get a free sundae... or maybe life in federal prison. Tomato-tomahto."

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No pressure tags: everyone who tagged me first, plus @firehose118, @liminalmemories21, @trilliath, @setmeatopthepyre, @beanarie, @apollabarnes, @station18908, @geddyqueer, and @adiprose

Tagging those who asked to be notified about updates: @wee-fuckin-woo, @stars-inthe-sky, @chemistry66, @teabroomsandbooks, @goodproductplacement, @lillathelegend, @hubcaphalo, @atomicrebelfire, and @the-omniscient-narrator

[trilliath]

It has come to my attention that some of you have not actually seen the music video for Ghengis Khan by Miike Snow so I've taken it on myself to end your ignorance of this piece of cinema

[trilliath]

a bad show? that's nothing? a good show? sure. but a bad show that, for a brief moment, becomes very good, and then never is again? that'll drive a person to madness

[trilliath]

beautiful discourse and spec on the dash tonight and i'm over here going insane over how easily this man marks... like how tender was the stubble burn on the inside of his thighs... was buck obsessed with checking how long his palm print took to fade... did buck feel bad for being so horny over the scratch marks on tommy's back?

q u e s t i o n s

[trilliath]

i hate to say this bc it's literally all they gave chim for the entire damn season, but he and buck should've been switched for contagion

because bobby died in his place, he got the second biggest share of being allowed to grieve, and it shunted buck off to the side. but it should've been chim enlisting tommy. chim saying goodbye to bobby and getting the speech about how everyone is gonna need him, leading to his big speech in the finale and causing some conflicting feelings in the interim.

meanwhile it should've been buck in danger, buck realizing his surrogate dad sacrificed himself tor him, and buck having conflict with athena. she would know bobby wouldn't want her to freeze out buck of all people, but she wouldn't be able to help it. and buck would be full buck, filling her house from floor to ceiling with baked goods, being annoying as fuck and also not being able to help it.

[trilliath]

Above all else, I hope they actually take the time to explore Buck’s grief in S9. In more than a “suck it up and stop making everything about you, you big baby” kind of way. Losing Bobby is a tremendous loss for everyone, but most especially Athena and Buck. Athena, as the widow, will receive the kind of support and respect given to someone who has lost a family member. Her right to grieve is like. Legally enshrined. What does Buck have? An unusually close friendship with his boss? How does he even describe it to other people? Athena can say “I lost my husband” and people will know something of the gravity of her loss. Buck can’t do that. “My boss died” in no way explains the grief Buck feels.

It could actually be an interesting exploration on some of the complications of found family.

Buck elevated Bobby to the level of a parent, loved him like a parent, lost him like a parent. But at the end of the day Bobby wasn’t actually his father, there’s no blood or paper tie between them that Buck can point to and say “that is the size of the hole in my heart.”

[trilliath]

We go forward.

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[trilliath]

9-1-1 2x12 - "CHIMNEY BEGINS"

[trilliath]

"cozy game" maybe for YOU. I have spreadsheets

[trilliath]

:( when you've accidentally squeezed all the dopamine out of your writing by rereading your WIP too much trying to catch the wave of inspiration and now it all looks like garbage