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Snow white (2025)

I haven’t seen the old disney cartoon in ages, maybe in two decades. So i do not have an obsessive nostalgia for it. Свет мой, зеркальце! скажи Да всю правду доложи: Я ль на свете всех милее, Всех румяней и белее? The new plot is overcomplicated stupid mess that doesn’t come together. The film is overcrowded with stupid side-characters who have no screen time. And it still goes for to long while…

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Hellboy: The Crooked Man

Hellboy: The Cooked Man I didn’t read the comics so i don’t have any orthodox Hellboy canon in my head. For me the previous three live films are about the same. Instead of a fantasy action, this one is more of a catholic-witchcraft-themed horror with Hellboy being just one of characters. The movie has a very rough start, and it never stops being rough. The movie is a mess, it has a total mess of…

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Fontaines D.C. — Romance (Deluxe)

The squirting wizard randy pitchford injected ads into paid premium full-price games, and that’s how i discovered that Boredlands 4 is already being made. So i looked up the trailers and it has two absolute bangers. The first time since the first game the IP is associated with musing that is actually great. Romance Starburster Here’s the Thing Desire In the Modern World Bug Motorcycle…

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Majesty Gold HD

It’s a take on the Dungeon Keeper formula, I.E. a city-builder in a hostile territory with indirect control. You pay in gold to use spells and put down flags for your units to visit. The economy runs on couriers hauling gold between the source and the treasury. Warriors use the facilities, produce GDP, eat in diners sleep at homes, and gain levels. It even wants to be a comedy. It takes place in…

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Halo: Sunrise on Sanghelios

It’s a tiny short story that overlaps with Halo 5 ending and goes into the next morning. The characters exchange a few words and think a few thoughts. In the game the arbiter and the guys are struggling to survive, and here they already won everywhere, with the help of the enemy. Regimes built on puppet governments are very stable.  

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Command & Conquer: Red Alert 2

The game does not work on Windows 10. So first i tried to use ddwrapper and got no result. Then i’ve tried DDrawCompat v0.6.0 and the game finally worked. I am using a 4 by 3 screen, so the game runs perfectly for me. Who knows how that works on widescreen monitors, stretched and absolutely ruined, or not. Despite the detour into Red Alert, Command & Conquer continuity continued to go on in…

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Dimension Tripper Neptune: TOP NEP

Long long time ago in a life far far away someone made a so-called “JRPG” (which just means Wizardry 1 clone), where the so-called “consoles” (which just means proprietary PCs (personal computers) and in no way consoles (a hardware or software input \ output device)) are depicted as waifus. I couldn’t stomach more than two hours of 50 years old Wizardry 1 gameplay when i tried Hyperdimension…

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Flight Risk (2025)

It’s one of those one-location and phone talks claustrophobic films, but with three characters. On is a nerd idiot, one is a sickos idiot. And the cop is an absolute idiot. First she put the pistol closer to the sicko than to her, then she let him know that it’s time to attack her. The she could’ve killed the sicko several times, but instead she allowed him escape several times. And he was never…

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दूल्हे राजा / Dulhe Raja

We watched it with an old school russian pirate dub. When AliBaster was making Yatinsotests, they wanted to have an indian-style song. So they took an instrumental from the song that isn’t in the film, but is sold as a part of the OST. It is an oldie rom com musical movie. And rom and com are the two genres that get old the fastest. And this film goes for far too long and doesn’t offer anything i…

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Nemesis 3: Time Lapse

Lips pout, the walls fall out red rose grows as the walls unfold my lapse time lapse Tim Thomerson returns from the first film, after a new copy was assembled or something. Sue Price plays the same character, so we have a strong woman in an action role, instead of a malnourished twig-arms female on heels and in full make up. The opening text gives more details about the timeline. Alex is 18 in…

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Jaded (2025)

It’s a small Celeste clone, by which i mean Super Meat Boy, by wich i mean N clone. It always comes back to N. A torture platformer with the same screen fast respawn. At least it is targeting western audiences so, despite the amount of 1HKO danger on the screen the overall difficulty is not that bad. It starts way more frustrating than the middle part of the game. Once per touch-the-ground you…

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Little Kingdom RTS

If it had to put “RTS” in the title you can bet on black (always) that it has nothing to do with the RTS genre. Because it’s another one of those build up the city on the side, while you adventure around and clean up camps. Or defend from waves. Hinterland, Factorio, Majesty, Conan Unconquered, Riftbreaker, that type of thing. Funny how there are so many of these games, but there’s still no…

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Meet Cute (2022)

I though this film came up with an original weird name. But it turns out it’s an already weird pre-existing term, that probably means something. It is a typical time travel relationship film. With the easiest comparison being Time Freak. This is a fine film, but it didn’t really deserve that ending. No matter what, she is still a dangerous psychopath, and also a serial murderer. With a body in…

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Lola rennt

Russian subtitles. It was a big international cultural milestone, and then no one talks about the film in the past 15 years. Or maybe that’s because i only watch yankee tubers who have no culture, because i never heard anyone talk about Taxi, Fantomas, Gendermes, Bluff, Fantozzi, etc, etc. It’s not like i chose to, it’s just everyone makes videos in their own language instead of in english. Only…

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Dune 2000

Dune 2000’s dead, baby. Dune 2000’s dead. There was a point in time when PCs had perfect backwards compatibility. By which i mean only IBM-compatibles, and only Windows for DOS. At that transitional time many developers who got used to developing for DOS with its lack of any security, with its direct access to everything, and its crooked crutches, did not bother to learn how to code native…

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Dog Man (2025)

It’s a disgustingly bad spin-off of the other disgustingly bad cartoon. It’s an animated film trying to adapt over-stylized 2D art into 3D. And on top of looking bad it’s inanimate. In the age when we finally got natural motion 300+ FPS screens it runs below 30. It even runs below 24. At least it’s not as bad as the new Predator inanimation. That one has backgrounds move every frame and object in…

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Predator: Killer of Killers

I thought you can’t do worse than Prey (2022). Oh you can, you so can. How about we take that crap with all its terrible cinematography and lost-generationer framerate of 24, instead of 300+, and then make the objects in focus run at lower framerate than everything else. Having framerate below 300+ is already a crime against humanity, corporate scam, and a literal disrespect of anyone who have…