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made the mistake of going through every box underneath my bed at 1am. if anyone is wondering why i look like im going through the five stages of grief

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Who wants to sit with me and go through my Instagram and let me explain the meaning behind every picture caption and story highlight

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is life past 15 just wondering if anywhere will feel like home again

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Kind of obsessed with the How We Feel app

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Oh Jesus, let me love you so much that I never run out of things to say about you.

-Msgr James Shae

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💜🩷

nev.in.color

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This year I will learn to speak kindly to myself. My mind will be a safe space, a place of retreat and rest and not discomfort and restlessness. The anxiety might be there but I will offer it a seat and a place to rest. I may sit beside it occasionally; I will talk with it and try to understand it but I will not allow it to shout out above the peace. My mind will be a library with tall windows letting in the light. Gentle voices please.

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Has anyone checked on Stephen Sanchez recently? He said call a doctor but did anyone actually?? The bystander effect is real.

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Love that this was posted on my birthday. My siblings and I used to play in the overgrown asparagus behind my house and pretend we lived in a magical forest.

Plant of the Day

Sunday 3 December 2023

Asparagus officinalis is a long-term crop, with plants lasting up to 20 years; they need a sheltered site with free-draining soil. The plants are either male or female with male plants produce larger spears, so many modern cultivars are all-male. These male and female plants produced lovely autumn colour before they are cut back for winter and mulched.

Jill Raggett

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the hardest thing is when ur going through something terrible there is an awful middle phase of it when u don’t know if u can get through it or if you’ll ever be okay again and the truth is always you will get through it and you will absolutely be okay again but u just cant see it at the time

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I am a very young human, I am still learning

i am not unforgivable. i am a human being who is allowed to mess up and learn from it.

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Repeat after me: My anxiety does not control my life. I will not sacrifice areas of my life to my anxiety. My anxiety is not keeping me away from certain activities or places if I want to go there, I will, and I will do it even if scared. I make the decisions. I am in control.

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Learning to offer myself grace and accept it xx

You offer someone grace at the right moment and you change the world

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I am not my mistakes.

I am not the mean and hurtful thoughts in my head. I am capable of learning from my experiences, both good and bad. I am capable of growing in goodness and kindness and understanding of myself. I am a work in progress. Who I am is not set in stone.

I am learning and growing into who I am and who I want to be.

[twizzwiz]

11/12/2023

sad girl hour

sunday evening and my heart is doing its weekly aching

routine and uninterrupted and i didn’t realize till now

it’s so stupid i couldn’t see

im mourning another week dead

grieving for the version of me i grasped at for six days

and still lost my grip again

i’ll sit in my room with my head tilted back

i’ll look with eyes wide open

i’ll ignore the tears

cutting open my cheeks while my roommates laugh their heads off in the next room

i don’t know them and they don’t need to know me

and my heart screams behind muffled walls i’m alone in this space

always one room over from happiness and i pound at the walls around my heart and i scream back

i am loved

i am known

i am wanted

if you can’t hear me i’ll scream louder

my family knows me and loves me and wants me

i have friends who like me and see me and enjoy me

my God created me good and strong and insanely lovely

i’ll show Him my heart

even as it cowers in isolation

i’ll rip down the walls

i’ll carry it aching, beating, and place it in His tender hands

it hurts too much but i’ll expose it anyway

ill tell Him everything every angry raging beastly thought

every broken hurting desperate emotion

i’ll break down because i can’t hold together anymore

and i don’t want my hurting heart right now

He can hold it until it’s strong enough for me to take back