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What do you get when you cross a flamingo with a parakeet?

Or when you cross a penguin with a hummingbird?

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Reminder when disappointed:

There is no failure when you’ve tried your best, only a wrong path being revealed to you.

Keep searching for the right path.

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Him: I don’t remember that

Me: that’s because it was insignificant to you

Him: it’s not that it was insignificant, it just wasn’t significant

Me: 😒🤷🏻‍♀️

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I just smacked my boyfriends ass cuz , you know... equality 😂😂😂

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Peek a sleepy

That’s what he just said to me. In is half conscious stupor, that was what his brain came up with for the word “nap”... 😂

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I told my S/O I wanted to kidnap him and he responded “Ohhhhh! Nice!!!”

🤔

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You know, I was raised around homophobia and racism. If someone of the same gender hit on me, I was supposed to be disgusted. But I wasn’t, I was flattered. I didn’t understand why someone complimenting my looks was supposed to be offensive. I didn’t understand why someone with a different skin color was supposed to be less attractive. You know what I do find hideous and disgusting? Selfish people. People who think they’re better than other people. People who refuse to be kind and considerate. That’s the real ugliness I want to distance myself from as much as possible.

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I long for colors that don’t exist.

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*S/O accidentally passes gas*

Me: Just wait til I get pregnant, I’ll be farting constantly.

S/O: I can’t wait!

*super confused look on my face*

S/O: We’ll finally be even.

🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

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Whenever I’m mad at someone, I try to do something extra nice for them. They always get really scared for some reason...

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You know you’re a hopeless romantic when even your uterus is shaped like a heart

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Sometimes

I stare at my art until I figure out why I hate it

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Asking for a friend

At what age do females “become” women? Asking for a friend, she’s 28 and still feels like she hasn’t figured life out anymore than when she was 18.