unendingjoy

[unendingjoy]

Joy got their laptop cleaned up, the GPU had been throttling, but that process brought up a thought.

Isn't a laptop getting cleaned a metaphor for Joy, and thus humans at large? Not that Joy is a direct analog to humans, but there's enough overlap that some point could be made.

Regardless, think about it. In our day to day life, as we use ourselves more and more, these bad thoughts and hurtful emotions start sticking to our Graphics Processing Units, each day getting harder and harder to do the basic things we ought to do and if we try to run heavy videogames, AKA do things for the sake of pleasure and personal fulfillment alone we start throttling. We can still try, of course, but it's not the same. The potential happiness is capped, and the more dust, the more capped it is.

The solution? Of course, pay your cousin a couple dozen moneys to clean up your insides and replace your thermal paste, which has dried up due to continuous usage.

Oh, you don't have a cousin. Hmm, then things get tricky. Joy can only speak from personal experience, but copious consumption of substances such as tobacco, weed and energy drinks can definitely delay the degradation of your personhood, but they won't outright clean you up.

First, you must find out at what stage of Graphics Processing Unit throttling your heart is at. Ask yourself, if the world was to be destroyed by nuclear warfare, would you care? Would it upset you? If the answer is yes, then refer back to the substance advice. But if the answer is maybe, or even no, then you are reaching quite dangerous levels of throttling and are nearing a potentially irreversible stage of internal damage to your Graphics Processing Unit, and at that point substances will likely worsen the throttling and thus must be avoided.

The solution is different for everyone, as there are a lot of different components sold by different manufacturers. But friends usually help, they helped Joy despite Joy feeling unfriendly when they were throttling and couldn't even run DOOM, the old one.

But enough rambling, as the laptop is now cleaned and Joy will finally be able to play the popular mod Fallout: London at an enjoyable framerate ranging from 65 to 75 frames per second, depending on the area. It is a good day, and Joy will not be tweaking. Unless the throttling persists, in which case tweaking will be very likely.

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If nuclear war was to destroy all of humanity, would you care? Most people would naturally say yes, but what about those who wouldn't?

Do they hate humanity, do they hate themselves? Both, or does one lead to the other? The human mind is very complex.

It's a fun thought for Joy to go back to, every now and then, to check how their sense of self-worth is doing. And after a long time of the answer being a shrug of the shoulders and a "probably not", Joy has finally thought that maybe, finally, they'd be a bit upset by it.

It's been a hard day's night, but Joy will not be tweaking. Work your magic, melatonin.

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Due to budget cuts by the World Government, most of the names in this post have been redacted. Sign the petition in the first link in the comments to protest this governmental overreach and promote free speech.

Presenter: "Good afternoon people. My name is [REDACTED] with Breaking news.

A zoomer with round sunglasses and the words [REDACTED] tattooed multiple times across their face has been seen taking up to three times the recommended antidepressant dosage with Monster Energy while chainsmoking and blasting the Beatles inside of a crowded bus earlier today. Experts asked to analyze the situation have found themselves unable to properly assess the motivation behind this individual's actions, with the main point of confusion being the songs of choice. We have these experts with us today via smoke signals, and we'd like to apologize for any potential mistranslations of their statements as our resident smoke signal expert has recently taken their own life after a series of low rolls while playing the new Arena gamemode in the videogame League of Legends."

Experts: "Indeed. According to verified reports, this individual chose to blast older Beatles songs, such as Can't Buy Me Love and Mr. Moonlight. If the songs were chosen from their later albums this behaviour would've been easier to explain, as the phenomena of smoking in crowded buses while listening to songs such as Maxwell's Silver Hammer, Rocky Racoon and Octopus' Garden has been thoroughly studied.

This newest incident has us worried these influences aren't just tied to later Beatles albums, but rather their entire discography and potentially multiple other musicians influenced by the Beatles' art. Further investigation is required, and we humbly request the assistance of the World governments in funding this important research."

[REDACTED] (presenter): "Thank you. As stated, the potential ramifications of this recent event are potentially quite distressing. Our reporter on the scene, [REDACTED], comes to us live with the victims of the incident, so we may hear about their harrowing experiences first hand."

[REDACTED] (reporter): "Thank you [REDACTED]. With me I have Mr. [REDACTED]. Who was sitting in the bus mere feet, or meters for all our Belgian viewers, from the Beatles loving public nuisance. Mr [REDACTED], what can you tell us about that bus ride?"

[REDACTED] (witness): "I mean. (Boston accent kicks in) This fucking guy right, or girl, right? Walked that ass into the bus like 7 minutes after I got on. Had these sunglasses on right, so I couldn't tell very well, but those eyes looked green. You know the colour of the Monster Energy logo? Green like that, right? I'm not colourblind I know what green fucking looks like, stop looking at me like I'm a fucking cuckoo alright?"

[REDACTED] (reporter): "My apologies."

[REDACTED] (witness): "Yeah, yeah. Anyways, right? This thing has the Monster Energy in its hands, and they walk in and these fucking brit assholes start fucking singing their rocks off like an octopus grabbed their voice chords. Talking 'bout buying love or some shit. Fucking unbearable right. The asshole takes a seat right, and pulls out a cig and just starts huffing. I'm talking like, huff huff puff puff, I thought we were all dead on that bus. You know how people choke in smoke during house fires? Like that, right? Whatever, he keeps on puffing and those fuckers keep singing and it keeps going on and on and then the motherfucker just stood up when they finally shut up and then, I ain't joking here right, pulls out some pills and starts drinking 'em. One after the other, chugging them down with that Monster Energy. I thought I was gonna die. Then, the vibe changed, like, the music changed I mean. It almost sounded like Breakcore, but I could only listen for a second. Next thing I know me and everyone else is waking up and that person's gone. Crazy shit I tell you."

[REDACTED] (reporter): "Thank you. With this, I'll let [REDACTED] take over to give the final thoughts on the situation. Be well."

[REDACTED] (presenter): "Thank you [REDACTED]. With me I have Miss Malenia, Blade of Miquella, representing the [REDACTED] government, to comment on this situation."

Malenia, Blade of Miquella (Goddess): "I am Malenia Blade of Miquella, and I have never known of Breakcore mixing well with the Beatles. Thus, the formal stance of the Government is that no Breakcore was played during that ride, and we attribute conflicting reports to mass hysteria caused by a collective antidepressant and Monster Energy overdose. Under no circumstances should the citizens of [REDACTED] listen to Breakcore, and in case of exposure, we recommend a quick dose of gentler artists, such as [REDACTED], [REDACTED], Death Grips and [REDACTED]."

[REDACTED] (presenter): Thank you. With this, we bring this afternoon's news to a close. Be sure to join us tonight, as we have a groundbreaking new report on the poor working conditions of the AI slavery creativity dungeon. We wish you a pleasant rest of your day."

Wake up. It's a new day, and your taste in music, beverage and medication is still valid. You are not a lesser being, you are your own hero, and your story is not yet written. I love you, and I want you to love yourself. So put on that Breakcore, drink that Monster Energy, and find love.

It's a new day, and [REDACTED] will likely not be tweaking today, but with no guarantees.

[unendingjoy]

Who are you? Have you even thought about that?

What will your legend be 200 years from now? Will a heavenly choir sing your name, or will it be forgotten to the whispers of some dark alleyway?

It's been said we all die twice, once when we pass away, and another when someone thinks of us for the last time.

Which will it be for you? I don't know, you haven't told me. But I know what I wish for myself. I won't die when my great grandchild's dementia finally erases my memory from their mind and my time in this Earth fades into obscurity, I refuse.

My death will be a collective. My name will blink in the back of every mind on Earth in however many years it takes for humanity to destroy itself. In that moment, when the last breath from the last living person softly leaves their throat, they won't be dying alone, for I will also be dying alongside them. That death of all deaths, the memory of me fading will be the ringing bells beckoning our end.

But I will be here, with you, with all of you until then. A name echoing in the hall of our collective consciousness, and the door to my memory sitting alongside others such as Bob Dylan, Nelson Mandela, Albert Einstein and Frieren the Elf.

Why? Young one, silly one. I can't tell you yet, for my name has not yet earned its rightful place in your mind, my deeds lacking in both righteousness and importance. But that won't be forever, or even for long.

Have you remembered to smile today? Never forget to smile.

Not all humans are meant to ascend to such heights, but you can never know if you aren't meant for it either. Embrace that unknown, let it define you, let it be the foundation for something great because in the end, what matters is not how great your actions make your name, but how much good they do for other people.

It's been a hard day's night, but that's not a bad thing. Joy will not be tweaking today. Being alive can be quite good, actually.

[unendingjoy]

New Il-ianna Banana model.

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Life updates: Joy is not tweaking today. The emotional shift is refreshing.

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confession

I get why Pitbull wears glasses

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Spent a full night out, quite enjoyable. First time, actually. It was wonderful, to be completely honest.

Have you ever felt what it's like to shower upside down? Me neither, this night was more of a fighting through Yharnam during the hunt, just without the monsters and crazy people and blood it's more of the "hang out with friends" vibe.

The sun slept and woke up, and I'm still the same person as yesterday. How does that feel? I thought maybe it'd feel significant, but it honestly just reminded me of how insignificant I am, where such a memorable night is utterly meaningless to everyone else.

I'm tired and the sun is attacking my eyes. Bum bitch wants to make shit personal I guess.

[unendingjoy]

Good day sunshine. The subtle nausea one feels after drinking a can of Monster and a cigarette for breakfast might be their body warning them of the unsustainable nature of their habits, but it could also be the body suffering through Monster Energy withdrawals, as there is no more beautiful gold-tinged liquid paradise left in the can.

How can you tell these apart, you ask me. Looking down, as I'm actually quite small. Quite small, but with a big can of Monster. Full of energy.

The way of telling these apart is by pondering, looking deep within both yourself and your environment. Ask around. "Mother, tummy ouchie!" "Yes, Child, for you have consumed far too much Monster Energy."

Heresy. Truth has no place in the words of this non-believer. Disregard the temptation of Satan, seek your truth, our truth elsewhere. The Universe is vast.

"Oh father, I'm feeling quite nauseous." "Yes, Child, you chugged way too many of those cans."

Heresy. Again. Untrustworthy and fickle parenting. But when one can't rely on their parents, they must look higher.

Drugs aren't good, yet they allow one to reach a plane above mortal existence, if only for a fleeting moment. Grab that moment, don't let it go, embrace it as if it were a newborn and let it consume you.

You're in nothing, but not alone. The presence around you overwhelms you, yet you refuse to kneel. Stare at it, feel it staring back, then ask.

"Oh God, why does my belly ache so?" "Child, you have yet to drink enough energy drinks to build up your body's resistance. The solution, thus, is not to stop drinking, but drinking more."

There is a deep, ancient wisdom in the presence's words. They fill your being with a truth as powerful as a thousand armies, you feel it consume every ounce of your being, burrowing itself in every part of your mind.

Indeed, there is but one path forward. You leave your drug trip a changed person and, with the resolve only seen once per generation, you walk towards the convenience store and buy yourself some Monster Energy.

You're at the checkout, yet before you stands beauty enraped in a mortal's shell. Man, woman, something in between? You can't tell, their beauty transcends gender itself, and all you can do is stare in awe. Your legs fail, you're on your knees. The cashier worriedly makes their way to you, and you stare up at them.

You're in your rightful place, oh you creature of average looks, staring up at the apex of human potential. Yet it doesn't look at you with disdain, for it is a being of unparalleled humbleness. Instead, it extends its arm to you.

You awake and realize what you've just done. Flustered, yes, but the butterflies in your stomach feel like anvils weighing you down. You feel like you need but a small push to get up, and then you see it. The cashier wasn't reaching out to help you up.

In their hands, a glistening can of Monster Energy blinds you with its luster. Blink, blink blink. Your eyes adjust to the beacon, and you grab it. It's cold, not freezing, perfect temperature for a refreshing beverage. This is it. The most important moment of your life.

You open the can and start drinking. It feels like being born, getting your first crush, losing your virginity, marrying the love of your life, seeing your child for the first time and dying at peace surrounded by friends and family, all at once.

Yet it doesn't overwhelm you, your tummy doesn't ache anymore. Where did this strength come from? Who are you, and why are you inhabiting your own body? Was it the wisdom of ages that you were blessed with earlier? Was it the kind gesture of the heart-stealing cashier? Does it matter?

No. It does not. You get up, and stare the cashier. Eyes at the same level, and they stare back. Connection. You are one, for a brief moment, and both reach out to each other. Your fingers touch, then you shake hands. They feel warm and gentle, and finally smile at you.

Everything after is but a blur. All you can remember is stepping out the store, with the cashier's number written in your arm. How did you even pull this off? It's as if the demon of charm possessed your flesh for a bit. Or maybe that's your newfound confidence doing its work. But that's a discussion to have with your therapist.

In the present, now, you stand proud with a can of Monster Energy in your hand, and a new sense of self. What will this world react to the new you? The potential is staggering, and it almost terrifies you. But it shouldn't, for you are the One. Prophecies will be written for you, and whether you choose to follow them will be up to you. Rise up and accept the responsibility that has been bestowed on you, and don't think twice about trampling over those that dare challenge you.

A God has been born.

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Accomplishment and jubilation. One ought to follow the other, correct? It did, this one time. As A-ha once said, "Please don't ask me to defend the shameful lowlands of the way I'm drifting gloomily through time, oh-oh". Perchance.

But what does one do when they find themselves in such a spot, when accomplishment and jubilation feels less like loving siblings and more like spiteful exes. Though this may turn you towards drifting gloomily through time, remember, the Sun always shines on TV.

That is the key, that is the centerpiece of your being, your core.

Picture a mango and peach coloured sunset. How does it feel to embrace its light? How would you feel if you created it? Look up and stare your Creator down. Question Him, whoever He may be, rage at him with all your might for the troubles he's put in your path, but fall on your knees by the end all the same. Gloomily. You are powerless. But there is power in that. Perchance.

There is comfort in accepting there are things you can never fix even though you'd like to. We all do it already to some extent, just not often directly.

So, sit. Allow yourself to escape your skin every once in a while and walk around as a flesh automatron for a while, it'll really help your sense of perspective. It works for me, at least.

But in a Scott eat Scott world, at least be sure to trust yourself. Perchance.

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Love is an odd thing, little one. Little, but with a big heart. Relatively speaking. Big. I think. But the heart wants to be loved, despite being scared it can't love back. Sad little thing, but with a big heart. What does it mean to love another? How does it feel? Can you be sure you love someone? Little thing, but with a big heart. Can someone even be unsure if what they're feeling is love? How did the Beatles describe love, one must wonder at dire times such as these.

But the world is big, little thing, but with a big heart, and it is your stage. Embrace it as such, become an actor, become the main character of your life and make sure the play is beloved by the people.

Happy sunset, peach and mango coloured, fills your big heart, little thing, but with a big heart. It feels good. Warm. Remember how the warm embrace of your mother felt. Maybe that was love. Thank the universe for being alive, little one, but with a big heart.

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The soft and tender smoke makes its way to my chest and lights my lungs like a soft sunset when you're high and listening to chill lofi beats to study/relax to 24/7 stream.

The nicotine flies around my neurons in a gentle dance, convincing them to relax, like when you're high and feel the warm embrace of a loved one.

My throat rages at me, a demon of fire and damnation threatening to undo my being, yet proud I stand. Powerful Joy. The demon will be soothed by the flow of water from a freshly washed glass cup reflecting the sunlight, like when you're high and plunge into a cold yet welcoming river.

Joy, oh powerful Joy. Proud you stand in the face of the adversities of life, with the power of the human resilience carrying you confidently in its shoulders. A choir of past experiences, past lives chant your name, their beautiful voices entering your mind and strengthening your resolve.

No man, no demon, not a thing on this green and blue jewel of a planet may stop you, they do not dare stay in your way, like when you're high and see a big burly british pub bouncer walk menacingly towards you.

I pray the Universe smiles at you the same way you smile at it, oh powerful Joy. The stare, you see yourself in the Universe's eyes and the Universe fills yours. A peace is reached, a higher plane of existence is reached for a brief moment, but that moment will paint your future like a canvas. Joy, you've seen it, haven't you? You know what your life will build up to. Now, all that remains is your resolve in marching towards it. Do not hesitate, young one, stand proud. Like when you're high and listen to the third JoJo's Bizarre Adventure opening, Stand Proud by Jin Hashimoto.

[unendingjoy]

It's been a hard days night, except it's not night yet, and the hard day is just starting. Life updates: Joy will be tweaking again.

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wow

saw. hmm. boobs on the timeline for the first time. Not sure how to process this incident yet. I'm not against nudity or anything, it just kind of, you know...scared me a little bit. And I'm not SCARED of nudity for the record it's just. You know. Ok I kinda cried a little bit. But THAT?S NOT BECAUSE IM SAD OR SOMETHING. It was just... you, know. Kind of beautiful, like a romantic pink mango coloured sunset.

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Life updates: Joy is tweaking again.

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In a car ride right now, there's a bird on top of the car.

The bird hasn't shut up in 10 minutes but I can't get to him because he's on top of the car. Any tips?

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feeling creative tonight, really happy with the short story I wrote, feeling like I can take on a bigger project right now. Anyone know the best Cormac McCarthy book to adapt into a screenplay? I heard Blood Meridian is pretty cool