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My tumblr app froze to load just at the line “It’s so fucked up to see” and I couldn’t be sure if there was any more to the post. This site truly damages the human brain.

it’s so fucked up when you see something you KNOW is a portal to somewhere but you can’t figure out how to activate it. this is the most frustrating feeling that plagues modern man.

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Ravnica Guilds: Egg-Drop Challenge

When I was a kid, one of my favorite parts of day camp each summer was the “Egg-Drop Challenge.” 

For those not familiar with the concept, an Egg-Drop Challenge invites each child to bring a raw egg that they have prepared in some way to protect it from being dropped from a roof or some other great hight. (Or in the case of my cub scout camp, launched from a two-person water balloon launcher.) 

It was always a ton of fun to see the different strategies kids came up with to keep their precious eggs from going SPLAT! (Personally, I was always fond of the “deploy plastic bag parachute” method, which had mixed results.) 

So for no apparent reason whatsoever, I started thinking… 

“If there was a Grand Egg-Drop Challenge on Ravnica, how would each of the guilds respond?” 

Photo courtesy of @socialmtg and Riil Wonabii 

Boros - Encase their egg in armor plating of gleaming steel and honor. Then learn an important lesson about eggs and physics. 

Orzhov - Present their jewel and gold encrusted egg to the head judge as a gift. Suggest that it will probably remain much more valuable if they can skip the actual launch and just say that their egg won. 

Golgari - Do nothing to protect their egg and let nature take its course. Then after it lands, they scoop up the goop, gather the shell pieces and put Humpty Dumpty back together as a zombie egg. 

Simic - Bring a biologically enhanced egg with dragonfly wings, grasshopper legs, and an indestructible shell. 

Izzet - Outfit their egg with rocket powered propellers, inertial dampeners, global positioning matrix, and onboard defense system. Disqualified on a technicality because the egg never actually lands. 

Azorius - Pass legislation to outlaw launching or dropping eggs in public areas. 

Dimir - Kidnap the judge in charge of launching their egg. Sneak the egg onto the landing platform without anyone seeing. 

Rakdos - Wrap their egg in razor wire and napalm for a more impressive splatter. 

Gruul - Eat the egg. They don’t even cook it or anything. 

Selesnya - Cover their egg in a thick layer of soft moss and feathers. Then summon several Moss/Feather Elementals on the landing area to try and catch it. 

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I am called out.

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#Inktober is still safe y’all.

There’s some Drama™ starting up that’s based heavily on misinformation and the actions of one rogue lawyer so I encourage y’all to fact check before spreading rumors. 

YES, the creator of the #INKTOBER hashtag has a book coming out;

YES, he previously asked one of his lawyers to have a cease and desist sent to a few COMPANIES selling Inktober-branded merch without permission;

NO, this was never intended to target artists selling and marketing their own work;

NO, there are no lawsuits going out targeting artists;

YES, Jake has contacted said lawyer instructing them to cut it the hell out:

Calm down folks. We’re good. Put the pitchforks away. 

It’s being dealt with. Breathe, and remember to fact-check before spreading panic. 

And of course, as always: Be kind. :)

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ATTENTION ALL ARTISTS! THE WORD “INKTOBER” BAS BEEN TRADEMARKED. YOU WILL RECEIVE A TAKEDOWN NOTICE FROM THE CREATOR OR HIS LAWYER! ! ! ! IMPORTANT

yes. it’s real. Jake Parker, the one who started inktober trademarked “inktober” and his lawyer will shut down anyone (INCLUDING YOU if youre involved) who is selling things like sketchbook of their OWN artworks using the word.

LINK TO THREAD.

dane is the victim of this trademark bullshit

https://m.facebook.com/groups/artistalleynetworkinternational/permalink/1351723584999628/

my advice is AVOID using inktober and instead use another tag like “drawtober”, etc.

please reblog! ! ! tell your artists friends

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Another scifi story with a very experimental POV. This one is a bit…angrier? in tone than the last two. But! It felt good to write, and I hope you enjoy reading it. It’s a bit longer than the others as well, so make sure you have the time! Warnings for grief, loss, and a very loyal starship.

QUERY: Where is my pilot?

QUERY: Where is my pilot?

QUERY_ALL: Where is my pilot?

>_Your pilot is dead. You have been called as a witness in their posthumous corporate trial. You will answer the Board’s questions without hesitation or omission.

ERROR: I don’t understand. My pilot is good. They would never have need to stand trial.

SUGGEST: Reassessment of trial’s necessity.

>_Overruled. You will answer the Board’s questions.

Keep reading

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I don’t know who needs to hear this right now

but there’s no such thing as a flushable wipe. They’ll all clog your or your city’s sewer pipe.

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SAILOR MOON GIVEAWAY

Hey all, I got real nostalgic after seeing the Super Live this weekend so I was going through all the Sailor Moon swag I’ve collected over the years. A lot of these items were gifts which is why I’ve held onto it all for so long. BUT, I naturally have a lot of Kondo-compatible sensibilities and I can’t justify holding onto it anymore. Let’s give these trinkets a better home - Sailor Mars fans, this is your moment!

You will receive: -1 Sailor Stars artbook purchased in Japan in 1996 -2 gift bags -1 Sailor Mars art card… artist unknown sorry -1 derpy Sailor Mars sticker -2 knit dolls, Sailor Mars + Sailor Moon -1 Chibi-Usa time key keychain -1 Sailor Mars MicroBlock figure -2 senshi gashopon w/ stands, Sailor Uranus & Sailor Jupiter -1 Sailor Moon scrunchie (never worn) -2 Sailor Moon gashopon brooches, the series 1 version lights up -2 Sailor Moon  makeup bags -1 Sailor Mars shirt

Bonus items that lived in the same drawer as all this stuff lol -1 button from B-SIDE Label -1 Pokemon Master Ball knit keychain -1 Charizard gashopon TO ENTER: -you must be living in the United States -follow me -reblog this post Giveaway will end on my fav’s birthday - April 17th, 2019. All submissions will be entered into a random generator. Winner will be contacted by DM.  Even if you’re not into Sailor Moon, please reblog this post to spread awareness! Good luck <3

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it’s a cold and it’s a broken hollaback girl 

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What the fuck does that mean?

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I finished the song, and performed it at a charity karaoke contest. 

The bean jar

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This mess based upon this post.

Transcription begins in media res:

“...that people can sing along to. None of that’s gonna happen. The song is about five minutes long and I’m really sorry and I can’t let you sing along because you’re gonna mess me up because I rewrote all the words to The Black Parade. And I rewrote all the words to The Black Parade because there was a tweet that went semi-viral not too long ago by a man named ronaldravegan, and the tweet was ‘When I was a young boy, my father had what he called the bean jar. It was full of brown and black beans, and every time we misbehaved, he took one out. And he told us when the jar was empty, the world would end.’ So someone on Tumblr [barreboy] noticed that the first line of that works perfectly with The Black Parade. So someone ELSE on Tumblr [allieinarden via iridescentoracle] wrote the entire beginning. I wrote everything else. So, this is gonna happen, and I’m sorry.”

“When I was, a young boy My father had what he called the bean jar It was a jar of beans He said “Son when you remove all of them, the world will end in fire That’s what the bean jar means.”He said “Will you incite me To hasten the pace of Armageddon And catalyze our doom? Because one day you’ll drive me So crazy, I’ll reach into the bean jar Purloin the last legume.”

[Guitar solo]

When I was, a young boy My father had what he called the bean jar It was a jar of beans He said “Son when you remove all of them, the world will end in fire That’s what the bean jar means.”

[Rock begins]

Some days I’d get the feeling My father’s jar was fake And other times I thought it was all true And every time I’d misbehave he’d stare me in the eye Take out a single bean or even two

The world will end The world will end And though there are a lot of beans now One day I’ll take the last my friend The world will end Don’t call my bluff you little pipsqueak One day you’ll cause the world to end.

One time my brother almost Lit the house on fire He tried to shoot a rocket while indoors My father caught Him in the act And forced the boy to take Six entire beans Out while he swore

The world will end The world will end And though there are a lot of beans now One day I’ll take the last my friend The world will end I can’t believe you’d be this stupid One day you’ll cause the world to 

End, the end, you bring it faster now Oh, oh, oh End times your behavior will allow Oh, oh, oh Straighten up your act Or you’ll be- the- Earth’s- downfall-

Double check I hope you’re counting remaining beans So you know what’s between Now and then The days and endless Night of flames When Satan’s forces rise It’s too late To make amends son Then you’ll wish You’d behaved better and Listened to My dire warning I told of beans Who’s numbers saved us all

Now here’s your chance Improve behavior Don’t force me To take another bean Here’s your chance Improve behavior Save-us-all

The world will end The world will end And though there are a lot of beans now One day I’ll take the last my friend The world will end You’ve got to stop being a shit stain or One day you’ll cause the world to end

Double check I hope you’re counting remaining beans So you know what’s between Now and then The days and endless Night of flames When Satan’s forces rise Double check I hope you’re counting remaining beans So you know what’s between Now and then The days and endless Night of flames The world will end”

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https://www.reddit.com/r/Warframe/comments/9xyr8v/mag_remembers_why_she_never_talks_to_volt/

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Sorry everybody

Me, refusing to leave tumblr: sir, this is my emotional support hellsite

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There is no reason to be scared of horses I don’t know why every makes such a big fuss about them. They’re good animals, love sugar!

Muscular and strong, the perfect friend

a horse did not write this, I created this post with my human digits