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[unknownbyme]

~ A Christmas secret ~ Part 1

Summary: Preparations for Christmas is taking place, Y/N and her sisters are in charge of everything. Y/N has more than one mission this year, she just hopes a sneaky shadow dosen't sneak too much. Warnings: None  Word count: 1212

A chilling winter wind blew by Velaris, Y/N thightend her scarf around her neck as she strode through the streets with just one goal in mind; roasted chestnuts. The winter months were always celebrated in Velaris with markets, lights and bonfires spread across the city. The city truly never slept. The first snowflakes had started falling in last night, and Velaris had gone into a frenzy quickly setting up their markets with various foods and clothes. 

A voice stopped her in the middle of her walk through the streets, ’’Mam would you like to try another scarf?’’ a vendor asked as she strode by. She looked over to the big display of scars and gloved in various colors and sizes that he offered. Her hand went to touch the scarf around her neck, it had truly seen better days. Dull in colors and threads hanging loose, she couldn’t really part ways with it just yet. Some memories still clung to it from her time in the human lands. She let her eyes room the scars and her eyes landed on a dark gray wool scarf with small threads of marine blue woven into at random, it reminded her of a certain Illryan. 

The winter solstice and christmas were coming up and gifts were a must. ’’I would like this one, and the one with dark green, could you wrap up the gray one? It’s a gift but do not tell anyone’’ she smiled as she whispered to the man. His hair had thinned out on the sides of his face but his facial features still showed of the man he once was. The man only laughed a little and began wrapping up the gift. Paying the vendor, she wished him a happy winter time. 

Smilling to herself Y/N tightened her grip on the bag, her first christmas and winter solstice that she would be able to spend with the inner cirlce would take commence this year. Work had driven her away the previous years, far away from Prythian. She thought back to the time her family would spend Christmas back in the human lands, when their mother was still alive and well. The manor was always adorned to the fullest in christmas decorations and the manor always smelled like christmas due to the endless cooking. This year the house of wind would be the same, Feyre had insisted that they cook and bake together as well as decorate a tree together.

All four sisters had to be part of it, Elain loved the idea and had already started planning out the decorations. Nesta had chuckled and said something along the lines of ’’I will only be a part of this stupid decorating if Feyre makes those chocolate chestnut cookies’’, that had driven Y/N out from the house today. She knew of the endless chestnuts that she needed to buy in order for all of them to bake enough cookies for the inner circle and more, also knowing that Cassian would consume more than enough to last him for a week. 

Y/N hade put in a request for an extra set of cookies to bring with her to the orphanages in Velaris. She knew the children would love the cookies together with a hot choco, Y/N had also planned for some activities with all of the children. 

The smell of sugar and seasoned potatoes filled her nose and her thoughts came back to her. The snowflakes had gotten thicker but still fell in a slow motion down. ’’That looks heavy, would the lady be in need of a bag holder perhaps?’’, the voice spooked Y/N to the core and she jumped, her grip loosening on the bag with the scarfs. Azriel had been the source, his left hand grabbed her right and his right hand took a hold of the bag before it fell to the ground. Y/N noticed how his eyes trailed from her to the bag, her thoughts gathered quickly and she reached for the bag as she managed to get her footing back, the bag she clutched close to her chest. ’’No peeking you sneaking shadow’’, the male smiled and let go of her, he had held on longer than needed. ’’Not even one tiny look?’’

’’Absolutely not, I have a secret gift’’. His eyebrows raised and a smirk grew on his lips. ’’To whom?’’. Y/N looked at Azriel, his golden brown eyes shone in the snow, the snowflakes clinged to his midnight hair, giving it the appearance of a starry sky.  He wore his usual leathers, he most have come back from work. ’’Mind your own business’’ she said as she gave him a smile, her feet began moving again and she nudged Azriel with her. The male followed and went to walk by her right side. ’’I heard about yours sisters' plans for the house, the decorating and the cooking. Will you take part in anything?’’, ’’Of course, christmas is and will always be my favorite time of the year, the decorating and cooking is a must. It makes me happy seeing my sisters gather together. Besides it has been a long time since I could celebrate it with them.’’ Azriel nodded in understanding and turned his head to look at YN, ’’So what’s in the bag? Who is your secret santa?’’

‘’You are asking to many questions Azriel, as the shadowmaster shouldn't you already know the answers?’’ He smiled at her implication but was quick to answer. ’’I do not secretly snoop around the people I care the most for’’. YN had to thank the mother for the cold snowy winds that had reddend her cheeks already, if not the, blush would be at full display. She threw her gaze forward and tried to lock her eyes at the chestnut stand not to far away, her mind was in a frenzy and she couldn't seem to form words, in need of a change of topic she asked the shadowsinger ’’When will you and your brothers have your annual snowball fight? I would love to be a spectator this year’’, it was Azriel’s time to try to hide his blush, ’’Don’t call it that, it’s our annual fight to the death and nothing else’’ she could hear the laugh that left him and she laughed at that. ’’Oh yes of course, the ohh so deadly snowball fight to the death with the mighty shadowsinger, warlord and highlord of the night court. Look at how I quiver in your presence'’. Y/N made a gesture of looking frightened and faked a faint as she put her hand to her forehead.

Azriel’s laughed could be heard and she looked to him, to see Azriel laughing from the stomach. Eyes squinted and teeth on full display as his hand reached for his eyes to wipe away a tear. He tried to gain his composure and turned to Y/N, ’’Come now fair maiden, the mighty shadowsinger shall escort you to wherever you are going’’. So they made their way towards the chestnut stand, Y/N clutched her bag harder to her chest, she felt a warm feeling enveloping her and a thought crossed her mind that this would be a truly wonderful christmas.

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~ A voyage come to rest ~

Summary: Y/N returns home after a long voyage outside the borders of Prythian.

Warnings: None

Word count: 688

Tightening her leathers, Y/N made sure to double check her leather bag. Counting up her daggers and medical equipment she smiled slightly to herself as the ship slowly made it ever the closer to land; to Prythina. A high and mighty voice caught her attention as the ship crew quickly sprang into action, adjusting the sails as the wind shifted. It seemed to have gotten stronger the closer they approached land, stronger and more unpredictable. The sea was merciless, it didn’t care for anyone who took to sailing the ocean. It had a soul of its own.

Y/N grabbed the rail with a steady grip as the ship tried weave through the ocean waves. The sun stood high and mighty in the sky, and Y/N didn’t want to spend a second inside the ship. Her tan was prominent and her hair had gotten a bit lighter thanks to the exposure to the sun. Her travel across the sea had made her love the open sea, her heart had opened up for the people she met on her travels. The high lord of the Night Court had sent her out with a small crew to help with upcoming conflicts across the sea.

Their travels entirely depended on the sea and wind. Their departure from Prythian had been as smooth as it could have been, the rest of their voyage had not been kind, and as such their travels had stretched on for longer than predicted, everything had depended on the emotions of the sea and the goddess in the sky. Stormy weathers had keept them ashore for sometimes longer than they had wished. After a full year she would finally be able to rest her eyes on Velaris again, and on her mate.

Upon leaving they had come to an agreement, they would close off their bond so they could solely focus on their own work. The distance between them would consume their energy if they would try to keep a connection. They would only open the bond if one of them were to find themselves in absolut danger.

Her smile widened as she thought of him, her cheeks warmed from not only the sun. She felt like her younger self in that moment, deathly in love with the Shadowsinger, keeping her love for him a secret. Y/N opened up her bond for the first time in a year, she was glad she held onto the railing as a wave of emotion hit her all at once. It was everything Azriel had sent down the bond at the times he had opened it up, hoping for her being there. Pain shot through her chest at the guilt of never opening up the bond once during her voyage. The thought of him always being met with the deathly silence from her side made her chest ache. She took a breath as she called out for him "Azriel, are you there?".

Her heart sang as he tugged harley on the bond that was now open. "Are you hurt? Where are you?'".

"Nearing land, would you be a kind batboy and pick up your maiden from the ship?’"

A loud and cheerful laugh could be felt through the bond and Y/N smiled as she could envision Azriel in her mind. "On my way, don’t move".

"Where would I go? Into the sea?’"

‘'One never knows, desperation makes one do stupid and reckless things".

Her gaze locked unto the sky and then shifted to look towards land, there she saw Azriel flying with a great speed towards the ship. ’’We got a big seagull incoming crew, better watch your heads’’ Mariza the captain shouted with a smile on her lips as she too had spotted the Shadowsinger.

Azriel came down upon them in a sweep of shadow and wind, he had landed before y/n with a feral smile upon his lips. His smile reached up to his eyes as he locked eyes with her, "Ready to go home my love?"

"I'm home, you are my home Azriel, wherever we may go, you will always be my home".

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Do you remember my wish?

Azriel x reader

Summary: Love was meant to be everlasting, a mate is not supposed to be robbed of love and of life.

Warnings: Angst

Word count: 615

Azriel had imagined more for them, more time, more memories, more opportunities. But fate had decided to cut i short and split his soul into pieces more than once in his life. 

The day he found out his mate was a human, his soul shattered. It shattered for he realized that they would both suffer. They would suffer if they accepted the bond and they would suffer if they did not. His soul shattered at the thought of not giving his mate the love she deserved.

And now here he sat with his mate dying in his arm, his soul was beyond repair. As the days had passed and the seasons had changed she had slowly began to fade. Gone was the puffy cheeks and vibrant glossy hair, gone was her form. Now she was skin and bone, as fragile as a newborn bady bird, but soon she would be free he tried to convince himself. She would be free to fly again. 

Her sickness untreatable, he could only help ease her pain and make her days as peaceful as he could. 

They had talked long into the night almost every night, for sleep had become her nightmare. Sleep had become her greatest fear for she knew not if it would be her last. The night sky soothed her soul in the night court. 

’’I want to see the night sky Azriel’’ she had said almost in a whisper, to afraid to say the whole truth. But he knew what she meant, ’’I promise you will’’. He had kissed her as a promise and held her a bit closer that night for in his heart he knew that time would not grant them much more. 

He had held her on the balcony where the crisp air cleared her lungs, and where the rising sun and steady mountains made her dream, Azriel had felt the shift deep within himself and silently called to Rhysand and Madja. His fear had been confirmed; she was truly dying now, in his arms as she lay. 

Madja had been quick to make a tonic for her breathing and pain, and Rhysand knew his role.

Taking a steadying breath he said to y/n, "Love, close your eyes for 5 seconds I have something to show you". Y/N had only smiled and done as he wished.

Rhysand had nodded his head in confirmation to Azriel and taken his departure, taking Madja with him. 

"Open your eyes my love" Azriel said. And so she did, to her eyes there was only an endless sky of stars shimmering in the night sky, stars fell as they did on Starfall. Stars in every color illuminated before her eyes and it had reminded her of their first Starfall together, the way the stars had danced in the sky and on their skin. 

She tried to smile but couldn't stop the slight heaving of trying to take a breath and the tears that rolled down her hollow cheeks. "Azriel, please do not be sad for me, I will visit you on every Starfall. I will illuminate the sky for you. If you are sad I will be sad too, for I will not be here to comfort you." 

A short intake of breath was heard, his grip on her tightened. "Look for me in the small things that bring you happiness, promise?"

He had wanted to keep it together for her sake, but the tears were an endless stream, his soul was screaming and his heart clenched in pain, "I promise" he rasped.

"Thank you.. for the love and the stars" 

Shadows and screams of anguish and sorrow filled the streets of Velaris that day.

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A star in the sky

He seemed to beckon her towards him, his eyes spoke and they had meaning, they always did. She had never been able to explain the depths of his eyes and the way they always seemed to lure her in and trap her. Her feelings for the Shadowsinger had long since blossomed into something deeper, but her courage had never been her strong suit nor did she think it would ever really be.

Her feet felt light as she made her way towards Azriel who was leaning with his back on the balcony, the rest of the inner circle had already gathered outside, waiting for the stars to start their journey across the deep dark blue sky. 

Small shining white stars had already taken to plaster themself on the night sky. They made Azriel shine even more who was clad in a dark grey suit, it had a shine to it and Y/N realized as she came closer that it had small silver threads woven into the fabric.

’’I have to say’’ he started as he handed her a drink, fingers lightly grazing hers at the exchange.

’’you do look stunning this evening, the rhinestones make your eyes stand out, even more so than the sky tonight’’ he said as he toast his glass against hers and raised it slightly.

A small fire of courage settled within Y/N and she smiled and toast her glass to his and raised it as well, 

’’Then we have two stars this evening, wouldn't you agree Starsinger?’’ she breathed out holding his gaze and taking a sip. 

Azriel chuckled slightly before he said, ’’Happy starfall, my little beacon of a star’’, ’’Happy starfall to you too Starsinger’’