weavingwyvernx

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“Something Of His Own.”

Wyll Ravengard is eight when he first picks up a sword. He begs and pleads until he is allowed to try, after watching the Flaming Fist practice all day. His father hands one to him with a smile. A light, dull thing, meant for training. He swings it clumsily, laughs with delight when he hits the training dummy. He is eight, and the world is vast and full of opportunity.

Wyll Ravengard is twelve when he hears people begin to refer to him as the heir of Baldur’s Gate. He shifts restlessly in his seat at court, aching to join the children running about outside. His father places a firm hand on his shoulder, tells him to sit still. He smiles at the citizens of the city he loves. He is twelve, and the world is golden-bright with promise.

Wyll is seventeen when he sells his soul to protect his city. He staggers blindly away from the battle, blood and tears streaming through his fingers from his ruined eye. His father calls him traitor, fiendtouched, strips him of his name and drives him out of his city and home. He leaves with only what he can carry, and makes it half a mile on adrenaline before he collapses into the dirt, Mizora simpering in his ear. He is seventeen, and his world is half dark and will never again be whole.

The Blade of Frontiers is twenty-four when he spares Karlach for her innocence. He knows what it will cost, but she has committed no wrong, and he will not raise his blade against her. Mizora smiles while she drags him to his knees, rips his soul into torture, causes horns, ridges, claws to sprout violently from a trembling body never meant for them. He looks in the mirror and realizes neither of his eyes are his own. He is twenty-four, and his world is permanently red-tinged with loss.

Wyll is twenty-five when Tav helps negotiate him out of his pact. Their ragtag group even saves his father, somehow, through sheer determination. Mizora snarls, but agrees, removing the prosthetic sending stone from his eye socket with a less-than-gentle hand. Tav presents him sheepishly with a gift—an expensive, custom made replacement, saved for by the whole group, matching his eye color from before his transformation. It’s everything. Something of your own, Tav says, as his friends family smile around him, befitting the Blade of Avernus.

Wyll Ravengard, the Blade of Frontiers and Avernus, is twenty-five, and somehow, against all odds, the world is bathed in hope.

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Haven't posted this here, but here's my piece for Wyll for my Reflections series! I'll have a tag added for easy reference here.

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pov: you fell out of a nautiloid

inspired by that one house md promo image

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The Dead Three’s chosen

Speedpaint

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Best companion Tara and that guy she hangs out with

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I’m so tired of people complaining that wyll is being whiny or insensitive towards the tieflings with his comments at the tiefling party.

it is made abundantly clear, that not only does wyll not have anything against tieflings, he is actually actively in the process of risking his life to save them when we first meet him.

his comments about his features at the party are not disrespect towards tieflings. the comments are not even really about the features themselves. let’s take a look:

Wyll: “I’m a devil. I love the people from the grove, but I unsettle them deep down. As I seem to unsettle everyone nowadays.”

and then

Wyll: Claws will pop the balloons, you see. And the sweet cakes don’t taste half as good as raw eggs with this blasted forked tongue.”

OR

Wyll: “Horns this sharp will pop the balloons you see. And the guests won’t take kindly to scars quite so monstrous.”

the features he speaks about? consequences of mizora’s literal, horrific mutilation and torture of his body and soul intended specifically to punish, humiliate, and degrade him. to show him his body is not his own even when she is not present.

to us, who do not live in that universe—he looks close enough to a tiefling. to the people of Faerûn, he is clearly not a tiefling in appearance—he is monstrous, someone to instinctively fear now even to the grove refugees who know him.

this is not self pity, or rejection of tieflings. this is BODY DYSMORPHIA. wyll’s self perception, his body, his literal soul have been entirely violated and deformed without his consent. it’s not just a cosmetic change—the weight of the horns affects his balance, his skin has new ridges that make his armor ill-fitting, perhaps his sight is affected or his sensory perception is suddenly over or undersensitive.

his prosthetic eye was already a sending stone, already owned by mizora, and now he does not recognize any of the rest of himself. he is living in a body that is unfamiliar to him, frightening by faerun’s standards, a symbol and constant reminder that not even his body is his own.

his reaction is actually underwritten compared to how horrifying the concept of that is.

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Potentially hot take but one of the reasons we need art and music in schools is that, taught correctly, they are ideal avenues for teaching kids how to do something, kinda suck at it, keep going anyways and improve over time.

And THAT is one of the most valuable skill sets a human being can have. THAT is the skill set that unlocks soooooo many others.

A LOT of people I see with anxiety and depression do not have this skill set. To suck at something is a threat. Proof that they are doomed to suck at it forever. And then, often, that either THEY suck forever or the task must be stupid/useless/pointless (whence we get AI art fans who have decided actually making art is pointless and degrading the labor and skills of others is fine because these are useless skills).

Or you get the freeze- the inability to try things in case you fail. The sudden lancing shame and humiliation or hopelessness. The sense that anything you haven't learned by now you can't learn. Which is so heartbreaking and so untrue.

I just hate it.

"What if I write it and it's bad" "what if I draw it and it's bad" "what if I play it and it sounds bad" DOING IT BAD IS HOW YOU LEARN TO DO IT GOOD! You can't skip the process of leaning and the process is FUN if you let it be what it needs to be!

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me vs the voices (they’re saying I need to go kiss my wizard husband)

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There’s always this kind of couple.

Want to see what happened next 👀 ?

Saw the meme and it reminded me of them. Something for the BG3 fandom, a little break.

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y'all sleeping on Astarion/Lae'zel bc this moment is so...the way the flippant demeanor drops and he doesn't hesitate to call her out for sticking with her version of Cazador like their relationship is so underrated fr...

sitting down writing this bullshit like let me peel it like an onion a bit and elaborate why this pairing is fascinating to me

It's really interesting how during the most cathartic, life-altering moment in Astarion's questline, the reactions of the other companions are more about the moral wrongness/guilt of sacrificing innocent lives. Lae'zel doesn't do that and instead relates to his hurt.

She knows what's he's feeling, the lack of control, the unfairness of being powerless for too long. This is a woman who just found out her entire life purpose was built on lies, discarded and hunted by her own people after outliving her usefulness, and groomed to basically die for an insane power-hungry lich queen. She knows all too well that power isn't always real freedom. Her first instinct is to empathize with Astarion to steer him away from his hate and resentment.

Astarion/Lae'zel is so interesting to me because they're such a classic "can we make each other worse or make a better person out of the other?".

They both have genuine appreciation for violence and respect each other's ruthlessness. Astarion was used as a weapon of seduction while Lae'zel was of warfare. Sex with people is meaningless and not real intimacy for them, and while both have little understanding/experience of interpersonal relationships beyond the physical, they still feel and love very deeply. They have no frame of reference for things like friendship and warmth, but they badly want all of that and more, even if they don't know it yet.

In-game they can sleep with each other, which is basically the foundation of the normal Tav/Astarion romance. Lae'zel saw him during combat and got horny, who knows. Astarion who's used to luring people with his charms, takes up Lae'zel's blunt offer because she's a strong hardened warrior that can provide protection and be a worthy ally, and he doesn't know how to say no. Navigating the complications between one who wants to be seen beyond as a sex object, and one who comes from a totally alien culture with no concept of love/family/connections and only sex is honestly really compelling to me. It's a transactional, mutually beneficial thing with no emotional expectations. Once you get past the skeevy rockiness of their early relationship, I really like the idea of them slowly seeing something past the exterior and realizing they may have harshly misjudged the other, an unspoken friendship blooms, and in comes the realization that they are essentially loners longing for kindness and a comforting touch in the most desperate of situations.

Lae'zel is prideful, direct, has no sense of courtship talk, and doesn't hold back her thoughts the slightest--she's not sweet/agreeable and what you see is really what you get, which I imagine would be disarming for Astarion who's used to vacuous flattery and has difficulty trusting others. But she's also insanely protective, passionate, loyal, and an initiator-- every romance scene is triggered by her first and she's always showing effort towards her relationships, which would mesh well with Astarion who does need someone to nudge him.

She doesn't purposely suppress her feelings, she's just simply at loss at how to express them sometimes due to her wildly different upbringing. She stops the sparring match you agree to and an easy vulnerability slips instantly out of her: "I don't want to hurt you. I want to protect you, and for you to protect me." and "Thus far I've taunted you, devoured you, battled you. Now I want more than anything to soothe you." are romantic as fuck and Astarion of all people really needs to hear that tbh.

Astarion is also someone who struggles with reinforcing his boundaries, and a key theme in Lae'zel's romance is that she encourages and wants you to challenge her and learn to stand your ground. It's not gentlest method, but hey, relationships are about having to make an effort to learn each other's language.

I think he also would take pleasure "educating her on the matters of Fay-run" (I believe there's a whole banter with him teasing her and teaching her pet names) and would get a kick out of coaxing Lae'zel out of her shell with her shyness at showing public affection, and making her blush. Also it simply would be fucking funny to see Astarion who's used to easy seduction, trying to pass a persuasion check just to get a smooch and generally having to work to earn regular kisses from Lae'zel lmfaooo

Lae'zel also initially struggles to see her chains as chains. When she learns about Vlaakith's betrayal, she copes instantly through denial and shuts it down. Astarion is NOT having it and calls her out, he knows her well enough to recognize that she would value blunt honesty above all.

I imagine he also despises her lack of self-preservation, the way her entire identity is tied to duty and being in service of others, and doesn't understand her desire to still help/liberate the people that want her dead and are hunting her down. He wants to make this duty-bound soldier realize that looking out for herself, and putting herself first may not be the worst thing in the world.

They're so similar to each other but are also polar opposites in some ways that make a more equal, balanced romance I think. It's not a simple, one-sided, feel-good "she/he can fix her/him" fantasy because both of them have to earn each other's love, actually cut through the other's flaws, and actively motivate each other to be better versions of themselves.

They're not at all the other's ideal guiding hand. It's rough, jagged, and imperfect, but that's how healing goes. It's so far from being the healthiest relationship -- but even if their belief systems differ, their moral compass does often align. I imagine it's a slight relief for them to have a partner where there would be less shame and judgment when they expectedly, occasionally slip up and fall into their bad habits.

Also, man, the "You showed me the betweens and beyonds. Beyond war and peace, beyond passion and obsession, most importantly, you showed me freedom.", "First you were my wound, now you were my cure.", "But you saw something else in me - someone else I could be. Someone who could break the cycle of power and terror that started centuries ago.." lines really hit hard when applied to them.

Of course, they can also make each other worse, feed into the other's negative traits that will bring out the worst part of themselves. It's this duality of their pairing that is very interesting to explore, the way it can steer in either direction because it's an intense, fraught relationship at its core.

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Best companion Tara and that guy she hangs out with

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if I were on a roadtrip and saw a roadside fruit stand with exorbitant pricing I'd go "this is highway strawberry!" but that's never happened so I I haven't said that.

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"They were a good person with good intentions and strong convictions and belief in doing the right thing. And because of that they deeply hurt people including people they were trying to protect" - is fantastic characterisation that too many people reduce to only one half of the equation

"They were a good person and people still died because they didn't put trust in anyone else" ← is so fucking good but people don't fucking appreciate it

"They were a good person and they failed. Over and over again. They failed." ← DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND HOW DELICIOUS THAT IS!?!?

I am on my hands and knees begging people to allow characters to be complex and flawed and not reduced down to "The Good Guy" and "The Bad Guy"

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I love my wife, even if she growls at me every time I stop kissing her.

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Once neither scars nor blood bind you, freedom becomes more than a metaphor

Grab prints here