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California, just TURN LEFT

How tf California in a dtougbt

There’s water to the left of y'all Like Go get it. It’s always been there.

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The gingerbread man is gonna want some royalties.

The shooting incident Monday at the U.S. Capitol Visitor Center occurred during a congressional recess but also during a heavy tourism season, when thousands of tourists flock to Washington for spring holidays and the National Cherry Blossom Festival.

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Hockey is a lot more fun to watch if you pretend everyone is fighting over the last Oreo.

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The real tumblr MVPs right here

I showed this post to my boyfriend and he tried to take his shirt off like a girl and 

uh

yeah

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freedom of speech means that the government can’t imprison you for what you say, not that the rest of us can’t tell you to shut the fuck up

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Me attempting small talk at work

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Dog doing his best "nothing to see here" stare

Cat in a fish tank. [video]

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More like slowtato

gotato

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Someone tagged me!!

Rules: Once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 90 truths about you. At the end choose 25 people to be tagged. I was tagged by @i-am-queen-fabulous

What was your: Last Drink: white wine
Call: Human resources at the office 
Last Text Message: I’m on the way 
Last song you listened to: Meghan Trainor-Your Lips Are Moving
Last time you cried?: yesterday when “Let It Go” came on the radio Have you ever: Dated someone twice: Yes
kissed someone and regretted it: No
Lost someone special: My momma
Been depressed: 20 years or so Been drunk and thrown up: Just the one time with 14 vodka shots In the past year have you: Made a new friend: yes, we scrapbook Laughed until you cried: Yes when I’m was with my scrapbook friends
Found out someone was talking about you: Um, I don’t think so
Kissed anyone on your FB list: My husband, kids, cousin General: How many people on your FB friends do you know IRL: At least 90%
Do you have any pets: three cats & three dogs
Do you want to change your name: I’ve considered Princess Consuela Bananahammock
What did you do for your last birthday party: I was out of town working. Last time I celebrated was Vegas at 40 What time did you wake up today?: 8am
What were you doing at midnight last night: snoring
Name something you CANNOT wait for: The new season of The Walking Dead Last time you saw your mother: Mother’s Day 2014
What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: being fat
What are you listening to rn: Law & Order on TV 
Have you ever talked to a person called Tom: yes
What’s getting on your nerves rn: people
Blood type: No idea
Nickname(s): Pook, Momma Comma, ScaryPants Status: Married Zodiac sign: taurus Pronouns: She/her
Favourite TV show: TWD or Castle
Hair colour: Reddish brown 
Long or short: Long
Height: 5’ 8"
Do you have a crush on someone: sigh, Nathan Fillion
What do you like about yourself: I’m a god teacher
Tattoos: Nope
Righty or lefty: Righty First: First surgery: appendectomy age 10
First piercing: Ears when i was 9 
First best friend: Carmen 
First sport you joined: Softball
First vacation: Gatlinburg
First pair of trainers (sneakers): Blue Kangaroos with Velcro pockets Rn: Eating: Just finished sausages
Drinking: Sparkling lemon water
I’m about to: Play games on my phone 
Listening to: you already asked me that
Waiting for: Bedtime
Want kids: I didn’t but I’m glad I have two
Get married: 22 yrs ago
Career: Corporae trainer and consultant Which is better: Lips or eyes: Eyes
Shorter or taller: Tall Older or younger: Older
Romantic or spontaneous: Romantically spontaneous
Nose, stomach or nice arms?: nice arms
Sensitive or loud: Sensitive
Hook up or relationship: Relationship Troublemaker or hesitant: Trouble Have you ever: Kissed a stranger: No
Drank hard liquor: Yes
Lost glasses/contacts: no
Sex on first date: No
Broke someone’s heart: Yes
Been arrested: no Turn someone down: Yes
Cried when someone died: Yes
Fallen for a friend: Yes ;) Do you believe: In yourself: Meh
Miracles: Yes
Love at first sight: Yes
Heaven: Yes
Santa Claus: no
Kiss on the first date: Yes
Angels: Yes

I don’t know 25 people @falloutgoodsir allieverdoisread lacesmcasshole ihaveapencilbehindmyear sixpenceee #i hope I can edit this after it posts

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How the hell is there a picture of this?! Tiny camera inside my eyeball?

The blue field entoptic phenomenon or Scheerer’s phenomenon (after the German ophthalmologist Richard Scheerer, who first drew clinical attention to it in 1924) is the appearance of tiny bright dots (nicknamed blue-sky sprites) moving quickly along squiggly lines in the visual field, especially when looking into bright blue light such as the sky. The dots are short-lived, visible for a second or less, and traveling short distances along seemingly random, curvy paths.

The dots are actually white blood cells moving in the capillaries in front of the retina of the eye

(Fact Source+more info) (Video explanation)

Follow Ultrafacts for more facts

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Well, that escalated quickly

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My body's so pidgey-licious

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Chatting with my daughter

Her: *tells extended story of dream involving Harry Potter*

Me: I dreamed I was Josh Gates's girlfriend.

Her: Which of THOSE is more likely?

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Wow amazing 3D drawings

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Reblog if you are