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I would never wish someone feel the way that I've been feeling. My anxiety never went down from Saturday. It's intensified Monday and I hate myself for it. It gets the best of me. :/ I'm just hoping I can calm down by Saturday before the benefit show, since I might be there all day. I might be a little tipsy while typing this btw. I tried a pineapple cider (sour, but good) and a grapefruit cider (disgusting, so I chugged it) and I also have not your father's which is probably one of my faves. Okay I'm gonna stop. Have a good night! #vsco #vscocam #personal #text #nature #flower #flowers #floral #cute #life #love #ihatehavinganxiety

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So I finally figured out what to get Jesus for Christmas and now I need to go to a candy store and Sephora. 😌 tbh I'm so glad he is my main pal, cause I'd more than likely would've killed myself years ago. Homie is the best and I can't wait to eat pineapple pizza with him next year. 👉🏼😎👉🏼 #vsco #vscocam #lights #christmas #life #friends #love #life #pretty #cute #flowers #paris #effieltower (at Rawhide Western Town & Event Center)

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I wish I got close ups of this look from yesterday. :( #vsco #vscocam #life #makeup #eyes #eyeliner #eyebrows #face #self #me #lips #girl #cute

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I.....want to die. My anxiety is kicking my ass now and it sucks so much. :( in other news, I'm going to camber today to spend time with some friends, so that should be fun. I need to go shopping for Jesus' Christmas gift, but I have absolutely no idea what to get him. He always wants burritos, so I'm gonna get him a gift card for chipotle probably. Maybe a band tee and some candy??? Idk. :( I got some more makeup and I'm excited about it! I have a date on Monday and I'm like dying lol. Idk what else needs to be said. Im just so clueless. #vsco #vscocam #personal #life #nature #flowers #friends #floral

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Tyler finally sent me the pictures he took from weeks ago and I actually like this one lol. 🙄 #vsco #vscocam #life #makeup #eyebrows #girl #self #me #stupid

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So this is an old pic, but I just wanna update a lil on what's been going on. My mom is back home and she isn't as depressed as she was when she fell, so that's good! Christmas shopping is half done!!!! My makeup collection is getting bigger and I'm so proud of everything I can do now! 😭 I've been talking to this guy and he wrote me a song today and I almost cried, because no one has ever put any thought of me into something they created. :') I don't talk to many people anymore, just jesus, my family, and close friends. But I'm happy for the time being. I'm okay. :) #life #vsco #vscocam #love #personal #text #self #face #makeup #eyebrows #eyeliner

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The road | ( by Josh Alvarez )

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nothing is as it seems maybe this is all a dream a momentary lapse in mind a vision of no similar kind

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Saw @balanceandcomposure, @foxing, and @mercurygirls last night! Had so much fun dancing along to their songs. Drove around with Andreas, got fries, and talked shit to each other. We decided we're gonna see @sum41 and @sensesfailofficial next week, too! That should be great! #vsco #vscocam #life #friends #show #concert #balanceandcomposure #foxing #mercurygirls #sum41 #sensesfail #personal #flowers #floral #flower #pretty #cute

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I've been feeling great in spite of last weeks events. I got more makeup and brushes! Wednesday, I got a message on fb from Alex saying he was sorry and stuff. He said he wants to talk to me some more about it, but he's yet to get back to me. Idk. But anyways, I'm content. I was never looking for someone to consume my time anyways; I'm happy as my own person for now. :) Have a good Sunday! #vsco #vscocam #floral #flower #flowers #personal #text #pretty #cute #arizona #az

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I am a nightmare and you are a miracle. #vsco #vscocam #life #makeup #face #eyes #eyebrows #eyeliner #lips #metal #deathmetal #imlonleylmfao #self #me

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What do you do when you get humiliated by some ass head who isn't even a 6/10 who can't even come up with a good apology? You go and move on to the next boy who is a 9/10 who thinks of you as a 10/10 even in person. :) I may be a piece of shit who knows how to do makeup who looks like shit irl, but at least I'm not a shallow piece of shit. :') #vsco #vscocam #life #personal #text #floral #flowers #flower #scott #lol #makeup

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When you're disgusting, but you have lil cute flowers. ✨ #vsco #vscocam #life #floral #flowers #flower #cute #pretty #rose #roses #nature #personal

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I wish I was a pretty flower. Flower pictures are my fave. 🌹💕✨ #vsco #vscocam #floral #flowers #flower #rose #life #pretty #cute #color #nature

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My life is a joke. I hate myself. I hate the fact that I tried so hard. I'm still in disbelief that last night even happened. Why did I even bother? Why am I so fucking stupid? #personal #text #life #vsco #vscocam

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I am so fucking nervous and anxious and excited about this weekend. I don't know what to do. I wanna cry and be okay at the same time. I wish I wasn't like this. :( #vsco #vacocam #life #lol #me #flower #flowers #color #nature #cute #kawaii #why #personal #text #imaorryscottisimatotalloser