winged-thinged

[winged-thinged]

Hey.

This is gonna sound weird but I wanna thank you for your blog. I've been dealing with my ex-christian feelings for years but recent events have been bringing back a lot of the trauma and guilt I thought I pushed away.

But seeing all of the posts you made and reblog help a bit. Remind me that despite it all I'm not alone in these feelings. So thank you.

Not weird at all. I'm glad that I could help make this a little bit lighter for you. I think getting words around things helps and being together helps and taking time to feel the pain and the guilt helps. So. I'm here with you, and the trauma is real and it's hard to work through, but the rest of the world is here, too. And it's real. And it's not going anywhere.

[winged-thinged]

suspicious of any religion claiming humans should deny themselves enjoyment and earthly pleasures. like no every person I have ever met needs more of those actually

[winged-thinged]

back in town - florence + the machine

[winged-thinged]

Life gets so much lighter when you are just allowed to exist. When there's no god in your head listening in on everything you think. When the trees outside are not a sign of anybody's presence, but just beautiful. I think the world, fundamentally, belongs to itself. And we are a part of it. That's all.

[winged-thinged]

[winged-thinged]

A few years ago while trying to find ways to commit suicide as painlessly as possible, I came across a PDF of Dr. Paul Quinnett's The Forever Decision. Thinking it might go into actual methods of suicide (I read an article once that actually did that and was trying to find it again) I started to read it, and I think I only got about two pages in before I was crying too much to actually see the words.

I downloaded the PDF to my hard drive and I open it again whenever I'm feeling too suicidal to do much else, but not enough to start booking a ride to the hospital. And every time without fail I only go up to a few pages before backing off and choosing to live another day just because suicide suddenly seems even more unbearable than whatever the hell upset me in the first place.

All the book really does is [I'm pulling a summary from GoodReads here as, again, I've read no more than 5 pages] "discusses the social aspects of suicide, the right to die, anger, loneliness, depression, stress, hopelessness, drug and alcohol abuse, the consequences of a suicide attempt, and how to get help."

But it also starts with the author kindly asking the reader to complete the book before going through with anything, and for some reason I'm compelled to really just try to read it all before finalizing everything. Despite not yet completing it (hopefully never will) I think I can safely say it's saved my life at least a few times now.

It's intentionally legal to copy and redistribute this book to keep it as accessible as possible, and it's very easy to find, but here's a link for it anyways.

[winged-thinged]

So like the thing about being an atheist (especially in a deeply christian country like brazil) is that in any sort of situation where bad things happen to you, people tell you to believe in god, that he will help you and find a way.

And for politness' sake i can't be like "No, a psychologist will help me. No, my friends and family will help me. No, my neighbors and volunteers and fellow human beings will help me. No, i will help myself!" I think that believing that human beings will percevere through the harshest of perils and help each other along the way, without the interference of some guy in the sky, is a far more beautiful world.

My mom critiques this in me a lot, she literally said "If you don't believe in god, where will you find the strength to go through life's trials" and i had to hold back to not say "Where I have found it in all my life: in you, in my family, in myself"

[winged-thinged]

[winged-thinged]

i'm excited to live the rest of my life like it belongs to me

[winged-thinged]

[winged-thinged]

This morning I sat in the community garden with a cinnamon bun and coffee from a local bakery soaking up the sunshine, listening to the birds and enjoying the flowers.

This afternoon I’m going down to the river for a walk to see all the changes of spring.

Today I’m making the most of being alive!

[winged-thinged]

Skepticism issue:

I repeatedly see discussions about how "humans needs spirituality." Sometimes this is followed by "you don't need religion, but you need something. "

I'd like to push back on that. What I often see described as the "necessary" parts of "spirituality" is mostly connection. Connection with others, connection with a sense of self, goals and hopes and community. And then they'll have a line about the "soul". (Which does not exist as a separate entity from the mind unless you have spiritual beliefs).

Connection and community do not require spirituality. Self-worth and a sense of self do not require spirituality. Tying these things inherently to spirituality is not a given. Belief in a soul is not necessary to be happy.

You are not required to believe in non-evidentiary things to be a full person.

[winged-thinged]

Joy Sullivan, from “Culpable”, Instructions for Traveling West

[winged-thinged]

hey. hey.

wanting attention is not a bad thing. wanting people to care about you is not selfish. it’s okay to want people to listen to you. you don’t need to do anything to deserve love. love is not a finite resource; we hold enough of it in our hearts to love each other every single day of the year. you deserve to be loved every single day of the year. don’t forget that.

[winged-thinged]

[winged-thinged]

They hate it when u dont abide by the same imaginary rules that they force themselves to live under

[winged-thinged]

cooking with trauma