woundedwhitewolf

[woundedwhitewolf]

i really love how perverts reminds me of the true detective season one score. does anyone else think this??? both beautiful drone projects 🖤🖤

especially at about the 18 minute mark but the whole thing really

[woundedwhitewolf]

[woundedwhitewolf]

Rust & Evie core

living with Rust Cohle 🤎

[woundedwhitewolf]

True Detective | 1x05 The Secret Fate of All Life

[woundedwhitewolf]

Hope everyone enjoys chapter 17 🖤

[woundedwhitewolf]

ℭ𝔥𝔞𝔭𝔱𝔢𝔯 𝔖𝔢𝔳𝔢𝔫𝔱𝔢𝔢𝔫

"The darker the night, the brighter the stars. The deeper to the grief the closer is God." - Fyodor Dostoevsky. (Crime and Punishment, 1866)

November 6th 2001. Tuesday.

Six months later.

Today was his 37th birthday and it would be much to his disappointment that she remembered the same way he had hers. Living with him the past few months had been easy, she loved having him around. She’d been working nights at the bar where he’d come in at least twice a week just to check on her. His constant presence reminded Rob that he had no leg to stand on when it came to her and never failed to make her smile. There was no big unsolved cases since Dora Lange so he’d mainly been pulling assists which she didn’t have to watch to know he was good at. Since they’d been sleeping together every night she learned nightmares didn’t just bother her but him too. The first time he had one he jolted awake sitting up with his head in his hands. When she got him to lay down on her chest his skin was damp and his pulse was racing, she could feel it through his sternum, but unlike her he never cried. They’d gotten into a routine that suited them both and he seemed to relax into it. She didn’t have to work tonight so she’d be able to make him whatever he wanted for dinner but she had a few surprises for him. Calling his cellphone he answered on the third ring.

“Hey beautiful.”

“Did you eat lunch yet?”

“No Marty left to go grab somethin’ for us.”

“I left a surprise for you on the front seat of your truck.”

“Genevieve.”

She smirked. “Just go see it, you’ll like it I swear.”

He sighed but she could tell he was grinning. “You know how I feel about surprises.”

“Well you’ll get over it when you see what it is I promise.”

She watched as he walked down the stairs and came out chuckling when he saw her sitting on the tailgate. Closing her phone he did the same putting it in his pocket. “I’m not on the front seat but I put the tailgate down so close enough, I hope that’s okay.”

He came over with that grin of his that she loved so much. “That’s more than okay.”

Putting her arms around his shoulders he stood between her knees as she pulled him in to kiss him. “Happy birthday.”

He smiled with his suit jacket off and his sleeves rolled up as he grabbed her thighs. “I was hopin’ you forgot.”

“Not on your life.”

He chuckled. “Thank you baby.”

“Do you feel exactly ten years older than me?”

He smirked. “I feel like we’re both 80.”

She giggled. “I didn’t tell anybody I promise.”

He grinned. “There’s not really anyone to tell as long there’s no gifts.”

She smiled. “We’ll see.”

His tone was stern and full of warning. “Genevieve..”

She giggled and he shook his head with a grin. Pulling his tie he rested his hands on either side of her leaning down kissing her. His hair was longer like when they first met and it was so soft she couldn’t help but slide her fingers into it at the base of his neck. “I’m gonna make dinner and you can pick. Whatever you want tell me and I’ll make it for you.”

He kissed her. “Chile rellenos?”

She smiled with a nod. “Anything else?”

Kissing her cheek he spoke. “Banana bread?”

She giggled. “Absolutely. That it?” He kissed her neck speaking against her ear. “You and I not having to wake up for work the next morning so we can fuck until we can’t move.”

She laughed feeling him smile with a chuckle. “I can do that. Can you?”

He nipped at her ear. “Mhm, already did.” Without saying anything else he kissed her putting a hand under her chin letting her slide her tongue in his mouth. Hearing him hum doing the same with his own tongue she slid her hands down his chest but he grabbed them before they got to his navel. “Don’t even think about it.”

“So take lunch or take me somewhere.” He chuckled. “There’s plenty of room in the truck. We can be quick I promise.”

His chuckle turned to a laugh looking at her with an arched brow. “I’m physically incapable of being quick with you Genevieve. Especially when you’re teasing me with this fuckin’ mouth.”

She smiled tracing his thumb over her bottom lip. “I'm not.”

“You are and you know it.”

"I thought my mouth was the reason for being quick." Biting at his finger giggling he smiled back touching her face.

“You lil fuckin' brat." Smacking her ass she yelped. "That’s what I thought.”

Kissing her he hopped up on the tailgate next to her. “How’s your day going?”

He shrugged. “Slow. I’d rather be with you and Lily.” She grinned resting her head against his bicep where he lifted his arm putting it around her and kissed her hair.

They both turned when Marty pulled up next to his truck coming out with two takeout containers. “Hey Evie.”

“Hi Marty.”

Rust nodded at him. “I’ll be up in a minute.” Marty nodded and headed inside, Rust hopped down kissing her before offering his hand. She took it and he picked her up setting her down shutting the tailgate. “You know you don’t have to cook all that for me right?”

She rolled her eyes. “I’m gonna do it anyway.”

“Well you don’t have to.”

“I’m going to do it anyway.”

He chuckled shaking his head standing next to her drivers side door. “You’re a pain in the ass, ya know that?”

“But I’m your pain in the ass ain't I?”

Smiling he nodded. “Damn right.” He put his hands on her face kissing her taking his time as he let his tongue dip into her mouth. When he pressed her back against her truck she giggled and he smiled. “Get on outta here before you get me in trouble Genevieve.” Opening the drivers side door she laughed she got in as he kissed her one more time. “I’ll see you when I get home baby.” She kissed him again before he shut her door winking at her going back inside.

Dinner was finished and the banana bread was in the oven by the time he got home. They ate together, the bread came out of the oven, and he cut himself some sitting on the couch. “Can you do somethin’ for me?” She nodded. “Play me somethin’ while I eat this delicious fuckin’ bread.”

Giggling she grabbed her guitar and grinned unable to tell him no playing him some Jim Croce, they both liked listening to him. Kissing her neck she giggled looking at him with a smile putting her hand on the strings. He grinned patting his leg. “Get over here woman.”

She put her guitar down and straddled his lap. His shirt was untucked and unbuttoned so she was able to slide her hands underneath to his shoulders massaging the tight muscles there. Groaning he leaned his head back but still looked at her through his lashes. “Thank for you dinner. For everything you do for me.”

“You don’t gotta thank me baby. I’m happy to do it and not just because it’s your birthday.”

His hands rested on her thighs as she kissed his cheek before reaching to a small box on the end table handing it to him. He stared at her. “Genevieve. I said no gifts.”

“I know, I didn’t listen. Open it.”

He sighed and opened it seeing the new zippo she had engraved for him that was the same silver as his was now. On it was his favorite Dostoyevsky quote.

“The darker the night the brighter the stars.” All my love, Genevieve.

He grinned when he saw it. “Do you like it?”

He nodded. “I do.”

“So you can retire the broken one you have now.”

“It’s not broken.”

Grabbing the second part she held it up. “And I found this. Thought you might like it.”

Handing him a picture that was taken the day she adopted Lily as a puppy, she was smiling while the dog seemed to do the same with her tongue out. Seeing it he smiled looking at it up close. “When was this?”

“The day I got her. That was the first time I smiled a real smile in a long long time. Look at how tiny she was.”

He chuckled showing the dog that had jumped on the couch next to them. “Look at you Miss Lily. That’s you and your mama.” She smiled with a giggle and he looked at her touching her face. “That smile. I love that smile.”

“Now you can take it with you wherever you go since the Polaroids won’t fit. Both of us.”

He reached into his back pocket pulling out his thin brown leather wallet sliding the picture right where he could see it anytime he opened it. Looking at the lighter he ran his thumb over her name engraved on the metal before looking back at her. “Thank you.”

She smiled putting her hands on his face. “You’re welcome Rust. Happy birthday.” Kissing him gently he wrapped his arms around her holding her as she hugged him going back to massaging his shoulders. His head leaned back with an exhale. “Feel good?”

“God yes. You have magic hands.”

She giggled. “No you just respond well to mine, you have the magic hands.”

He chuckled rubbing and squeezing at her thighs looking at her. “Oh yeah?”

She bit her lip shaking her head. “Stop it. I know what you’re doing and it’s not about me. It’s about you so let me rub your shoulders.”

That devilish smirk came across his mouth. “Did you call out tomorrow?” She nodded. “So we got all night for you to rub my shoulders.”

“And you got all night to touch me.”

“That’s right. And it’s about me today ain’t it? I wanna touch you so lemme touch you.”

Rolling her eyes she couldn’t help but giggle. “You’re such an ass.”

He chuckled with a nod. “And you’re beautiful. What you don’t want me touchin’ you? Hm?”

Laughing she leaned down speaking against his lips. “I didn’t say that.”

When she kissed him and felt him smiling he ran his hands up her back under her t-shirt lifting it until he took it off completely. “That’s what I thought.”

She had no bra on and he went right for her tits grabbing them taking a nipple into his mouth. Sighing she tilted her head back pushing her fingers through his hair scratching his scalp. Doing the same with his shirt she pushed it off his shoulders and he sat up so she could pull his wife beater off. When she pulled his wife beater over his head she put her hands on his chest pushing him back into the couch. He chuckled looking up at her but it turned to a groan as she ground down on him. Firm hands gripped her hips the same time he licked his lips before pursing them watching her move. “That feel good baby?”

He nodded. “Mhm.”

Under his pants he was solid and that only encouraged her to keep going. Undoing his belt she smirked at him leaning down kissing his neck. After opening the button and fly she reached her hand under slowly stroking him, the hum he let go vibrated in his chest. “You’re so beautiful Rustin Cohle, I could kiss you forever.”

“You can start by kissin’ me all night how’s that?”

She smiled nipping at his ear lobe before getting down to her knees. He lifted his hips when she pulled at his pants until they were around his ankles. Letting a string of spit drop from her lips onto him she used both hands to stroke him now that he was slick.

He watched with furrowed brows and parted lips. “Ugh god..”

She smiled when he leaned his head back pushing his hair from his face with a moan clenching his jaw. She waited until he looked down to snake her tongue along the underside of his length before taking him in her mouth. His hand rested on the crown of her head gathering her hair. “Fuck Genevieve..” A moan escaped around him because there was nothing she loved more than pleasing him. Her hands reached up to his chest slowly dragging her nails over his skin pulling half a growl from him. With a closed fist she toyed with the head as she licked down to his balls, he moaned in response. “Fuck baby that feels so fuckin’ good.”

Giggling she kissed her way back up slowly. “I fuckin’ love your cock.”

“Yeah?”

She nodded looking up at him. “Yes, so fucking much. Fuck my mouth.” He looked down at her and she nodded. “Please. Fuck my mouth, it’s yours. It’s all yours baby.”

Gathering her hair with both hands he clutched it speaking through clenched teeth. “Open your mouth.” Doing as he asked she took him in her mouth and let him guide her head where he wanted it to go as her hands rested on his thighs. He grunted hissing through his teeth.

“There ya go, atta girl.” Moving his hips up at the same time he shuddered a moan. “Can you take that baby?”

She nodded looking up at him with watery eyes so he kept going. Only gagging on occasion as she sucked a hand wrapped around the base of his cock stroking what couldn’t fit. “Fuck yes just like that. Just like that, you look so fuckin’ pretty like this… fuck!” Moaning around him while she swirled her tongue he started to fall apart. “You’re gonna make me cum, I’m gonna fuckin’ cum.”

When she felt him start to throb she lowered her throat down making him moan even louder clutching onto her hair as he came directly down her throat. He wasn’t formulating words but making the most desperate noises she loved to hear. “Not yet.. lemme see. C’mon open your mouth and show me.”

When she took her mouth off him she opened it smiling at his reaction. “Now swallow.”

Doing exact that he reached a hand out wiping her chin with his thumb sliding it in her mouth. Looking at him he chuckled and slumped back on the couch trying to catch his breath. He pushed his hair back from his face. “God dammit Genevieve.”

She giggled kissing up his chest but before she got to his neck he stood tossing her over his shoulder making her yelp. “Rust! What are you doing??”

“Havin’ my fuckin’ way with you woman.”

She laughed as he tossed her on the bed yanking her shorts down. “I just started something that’s gonna have us up all night didn’t I?”

He smirked down at her nodding. “Mmhmm sure did baby.”

Burying his face between her thighs she moaned with a smile on her face threading her fingers through his hair.

It was long after midnight and they finally showered retiring back to bed to actually sleep. Both of them exhausted and completely spent he had gotten comfortable on her chest while she played with his hair with her eyes closed. “You awake?”

She responded without a nod. “Mhm.”

“I know how it feels to see yourself as the villain in your own life. I hope you know you aren’t one. Especially not in mine.”

She paused remembering what she sang to him after they ate dinner. “You aren’t either. Not in yours or mine. We can argue how we feel about ourselves until we’re blue in the face but you? If you’re a villain, you aren’t mine. If you’re a bad man, you aren’t to me. If your soul is corrosive, it’s a salve to mine. I see you.”

Kissing his head he tilted his head up to kiss her. “I know you do Genevieve.” She grinned and he kissed her again resting his head back down. “Get some sleep baby.”

She smirked. “You first Rustin Cohle.”

November 7th 2001. Wednesday.

Waking up at noon the next day she was in bed alone and still naked but she could smell food cooking. She got up put a pair of panties and a t-shirt using the bathroom before going into the kitchen seeing him in his underwear at the stove. Glancing over his shoulder he smiled. “Mornin’.”

“What are you doing lone star?”

“Making brunch.”

She kissed his back resting her hands on his chest as he continued. “I’m supposed to be cooking for you.”

“No you’re not. I needed food since you drained the very life force from me last night.”

Giggling she kissed his freckled back over and over rubbing her hands over him and he turned around lifting her onto the counter kissing her. “I’m thoroughly sore since we spent all night fucking like hormonal teenagers if it’s any consolation.”

He chuckled running his hands over her thighs where there were bruises from his fingertips. When he saw them he shook his head. “I was too rough with you. I gotta be more careful.”

“No you don’t.”

"Yeah I do, I.."

Grabbing his chin she made sure he was looking at her. “I like being marked by you, you know why? These bruises didn’t hurt to get like ones I’ve had before so every time I see them, I think of you inside me. That’s not painful.” He grinned tucking her hair behind her ear moving it from her neck, his grin turned to a smile. “I have one there too don’t I?” He nodded and she smiled back remembering him biting and sucking while he pounded inside her. “Good. I like it.”

He exhaled heavily shaking his head. “The fuck am I gonna do with you hm?”

“Whatever you want lone star.” With his hand on her face she kissed her again letting her slide her hands into his hair.

Regrettably pulling back he kissed her forehead. “Coffee?”

She nodded and he made it for her leaning over kissing the spot on her neck gently going back to cooking. “What are you making?”

“Eggs, grits, and sausage. Here try.” Holding a spoon towards her with his hand under it he rested it under her chin until she swallowed. She nodded at how delicious it was. “Good?”

“What’d you do to it?”

“Made em southern style. Butter, cheese, and heavy cream.”

She smiled. “Pick up cooking tips while living in Texas?”

He grinned. “More like acquired a certain taste.”

“Need any help?”

“It’s just about done, you just sit there and look beautiful.” She happily watched him taking in just how beautiful he was. Smiling at him he chuckled leaning over kissing her when he was finished. “C’mon. Let’s sit down.”

At the table Lily laid at his feet begging but she didn’t need to because he kept giving her pieces of sausage. “Thank you. For cooking this, taking off and spending the night with me.”

Looking across the table he grinned shaking his head. “You don’t gotta thank me baby. It’s my pleasure.”

She giggled rolling her eyes at his double entendre. “You wanna do anything today?”

He shook his head. “No, I’m happy just relaxing with you and Lily. Felt good sleeping in.”

“It did, feels good knowing I don’t have to go to work. I like being lazy here with you.”

After they ate she helped him clean up before letting the dog out sitting on the step with him smoking a cigarette. Thunder rumbled and the trees moved with a breeze, it was going to rain. Resting her head against his arm he lifted it putting it around her kissing the top of her head. “You alright?”

“Mhm. I’m happy. Can I tell you something?” Craning her neck to look at him he nodded. “I’ve never trusted anyone with my body the way I trust you. You’re the first one and I’m glad you are.”

He smoothed her hair down studying her eyes. “I’m glad too. I don’t take that trust lightly, you know that right?”

“I know. Maybe that’s why it feels so good.”

He chuckled and she smirked but he rubbed her back. “You wanna know what I think?”

She nodded.

“I think that for the first time in a long time your body belongs to you, no one else. You offer it by choice now, to me of all people.. You’ve gotten comfortable in your own skin despite all you’ve been through so now you can decide what you like and what you don’t. You can enjoy it because of that ability to choose.”

“I have you to thank for a lot of that. I should write down a list when it comes to thanking you.”

He shook his head. “That’s mostly you Genevieve.”

“It’s not though. I needed to feel safe enough to get to that place and I couldn’t have done it with anyone but you Rust. You believe me?”

He nodded kissing her forehead. “I do.”

“You gonna spend all day in bed with me?”

He grinned and nodded. “I’ll be gentle.”

“What if I don’t want you to just be gentle?”

Halfway sighing he chuckled pulling her against him. “You’re more than a handful, you know that?”

She giggled. “It’s partially your fault for being so hot and fucking me so good. I want it all the time and it’s your fault.”

He laughed and she loved the sound more than anything so she leaned over kissing his neck. Humming he rested his hand on the back of her neck squeezing it as she felt him take a long pull of his cigarette. Raindrops started to fall forcing them inside. “C’mon.” She stood smiling grabbing his hand calling the dog inside that didn’t need any convincing thanks to the rain. In her room he stood in front of her beside the bed putting both hands on her face staring at her as if she were from another planet. Running the back of his knuckles over her cheek she closed her eyes leaning into his palm.

“For the secret of man’s being is not only to live but to have something to live for.”

She looked up at him with a grin. “Pro and contra.”

He nodded. “That’s right, The Brothers Karamazov. I live for the time I have with you, moments just like this. You’re so beautiful Genevieve.” She closed her eyes to hide them as they welled. “Hey. Hey look at me.”

Grinning she opened them shaking her head. “They’re happy, you make me happy Rust.”

He smiled stroking her cheek with his thumb kissing her gently. A loud crack made her jump and he pulled her against his chest. “It’s alright baby. C’mon, lay down with me.”

Getting back in bed he pulled her on top of him entirely after she took her shirt off leaving them both in their underwear. He chuckled kissing her forehead putting his arms around her as she put her palms on his chest resting her chin on top of them. “Am I hurting you?”

“Whatdya weigh like maybe 100 pounds soakin’ wet? Relax baby just keep me warm.” She grinned as he rubbed her back looking at her. Humming she relaxed but didn’t close her eyes not wanting to stop looking at him. “Wish I had you when I was in Alaska. I fuckin’ hated the cold.”

She sighed. “I wish I knew you earlier in my life.”

“No ya don’t.”

“I do, why do you say that?”

“Because I wouldn’t be able to give you this if I knew you earlier and you deserve even more than I can give you now Genevieve.”

She ran her fingers through his hair. “You’re more than enough, I promise you.”

He didn’t answer as the storm grew stronger outside and she studied every part of him she could see. Touching his jawline she grinned thankful she could be like this with him. He pushed her hair from her face with both hands looking at her all the same. “You asked me what it was like when you were gone. When I managed to sleep I dreamt of you every time. The good ones I like to remember I saw your smile, heard your laugh but the bad ones..” He shook his head. “I knew where you were those were the last two things you were doin’. I wasn’t gonna stop until I could see you smile and laugh again. I was afraid. For the first time in a long time I was afraid.”

Grabbing his hand she held it. “I know. So was I. I’ll understand if you don’t let me in there again.. under your armor. I know you’ve put it back on and I don’t blame you. But I.."

He put his hand on her face sitting up so she was sat in his lap. “I have no armor left when it comes to you. You’ve taken it from me and melted every bit down to nothing. I realized that when I didn’t have you anymore.. that I might not ever get to hold the only person who saw me, really saw me, and didn’t look away just like this. That fact terrifies me and it might end up killin’ me but it doesn’t make it any less true.”

Stroking his thumb over her cheek his eyes searched hers, so deep and intensely she was unaware eye contact could be more powerful than words. “Whatever’s left of me, whatever I am, I’m yours Genevieve. If any part of me is of any use to you, it’s yours.”

Putting her hands in his hair she looked at him. “Any use to me? You are everything to me Rust.”

He pulled her against him tight and she closed her eyes wrapping her arms around him resting her head on his shoulder. Kissing his temple she kissed his cheek after and whatever else she could reach looking at his earlobe. “You have an earring you can put in there still?”

He scoffed. “Shut up.”

Giggling unable to picture it he smirked. “What you laughin’ at huh? You don’t think I’d look good with it?”

She laughed. “No! No I just can’t picture it is all.”

He smiled at her tucking her hair behind her ear on the left side. “Kiss me.”

Doing exactly that so gently her fingertips trailed over his face down to his neck feeling his pulse rapidly beating. His hand slid up her spine caressing it rolling her over so she was on her back beneath him. She giggled and he smiled looking at her. Under her palms his hair was soft, long enough to fall onto his forehead, as she touched it. Lifting her head up the same time he leaned down to kiss her he chuckled against her mouth. She wrapped her legs around him after pulling him down by the back of his neck arching her hips against him. The both of them still just in their underwear she could reach between them finding his cock through the fabric. Grabbing him gently running her hand over him as he hardened. When her thumb trailed under the tip he groaned flexing his hips up against her touch.

She smiled and he shook his head. “Fuck woman, you’re gonna drive me insane.”

Giggling he kissed her letting his mouth wander across her face, neck, check, until he was between her legs pulling her panties down. He draped her legs over his shoulders kissing the inside of her thighs with a grin looking up at her as he drug his teeth over the sensitive skin there.

She whimpered pushing his hair back. “I love it when you do that.”

Strong hands moved up her thighs to her hips holding on as he licked up to her clit making her back arch and her eyes roll back. He was gentle but still eager, somehow still hungry despite them having devoured each other practically all night. This however wasn’t for his own pleasure, even though he thoroughly enjoyed it, this was for her pleasure. She noticed that about him he was prone to acts or service no matter how big or small. Moaning clutching at his hair when he slid his fingers inside her, the slight soreness she felt made it more enjoyable somehow, she whimpered. “Fuck Rust you’re too good at this.”

He chuckled against her clit. “Because you taste so god damn good. Even better than your name on my tongue.”

Sucking at her he pulled a moan from her while her brows furrowed. “Ugh god..”

With criminal ease he had her writhing under him, toes curled, and her shoulders arching off the mattress while she cried out his name. When he lifted his head that devious grin was on his face. Sliding his fingers in her mouth he spoke.

“You taste how sweet you are when you cum for me?”

And she did so gratefully swirling her tongue around his long fingers. She tried to sit up wanting to taste him but he put a hand on her chest shaking his head. “No just relax baby. I wanna take my time with you.”

He climbed back on top of her kissing her gently pushing his knee up settling between her legs. She could feel he’d taken his underwear off leaving his cock twitching against her. His tongue tasted like her but his smell was completely his own washed over her. The warmth that intoxicated her while the storm raged outside enveloped her the same way the feeling of safety he offered did. Never breaking the contact of his lips he didn’t even reach down but rather guided his hips so he slid right inside her. They both moaned into each other’s mouthes at the same time, his eyes rolled back.

“God Genevieve.. there isn’t a fuckin’ word for how good you feel wrapped around me.” Slinking her arms under his as her legs wrapped around his waist she could feel the muscles in his back ripple when he moved into her.

She whimpered his name. “Rust..”

He looked down at her still moving his hips slowly in a wave. “I know baby I know just look at me. Keep your eyes on me.”

Moving her arms to wrap around his shoulders she slid her fingers in his hair kissing him focusing on how good he felt. Propping himself up on his forearms he kissed her neck groaning with the same desperation she felt. He reached a hand down grabbing her ass resting more of his weight on her and on his elbow opposite. She slid her hands down his back grabbing his ass.

“Ugh god don’t stop. Don’t stop Rust please.”

When she started to tighten around him he moaned looking at her, watching as orgasm took control of her body. Clutching onto him arching into his chest she cried out blinded by complete pleasure. His movements slowed but didn’t stop as he fucked her gently through it making noises himself. “You get so much fuckin’ tighter when you cum baby, oh my god..”

Looking up at him she pulled him in by his ass. “Cum inside me. I wanna feel you cum inside me please.”

The hand that was on her ass moved to hold her head kissing her quickening his pace to what he needed. With both her hands on his neck she looked at how beauty he was in pleasure. “Fuck Genevieve..”

“Give it to me I need it. I need you.”

As if hearing that was what pushed him over the edge he free fell into his own release collapsing down onto her. Wrapping her arms around him his forehead pressed against her temple while his entire body shook. The both of them breathing heavily clung onto the other as if they were a life line to the physical world. Turning her head she kissed his neck over and over grateful for every cell in his body that made him human and able to be here with her. He kissed her slowly, deeply, taking his time to savor every touch as she did the same. Looking up at him she pushed his hair from his face before kissing his forehead touching his cheek.

“I know what you mean about the armor. I don’t have any left when it comes to you either.”

He kissed her again not wanting to let go but eventually did so he could light a cigarette. Taking a drag off it he passed it to her where she pulled on it. “We’re both gonna be sore tomorrow.”

He scoffed with an arched brow. “I’m fuckin’ sore now.”

She couldn’t help but laugh passing the cigarette back to him. “Me too.”

A loud crack of thunder followed the lightning outside and she curled up to his chest. “You’re alright baby, it’s just thunder.”

“I know. Lily, c’mere beautiful girl.”

Jumping in bed behind her she rested her head on her lower back with a heavy sigh making him grin. “Good girl Miss Lily, cuddle up to your mama.”

She smiled kissing the tattoo on his chest. “I’m not scared of thunder it’s just loud noises sometimes.”

“You don’t gotta explain anything to me Genevieve, I get it.”

Slowly and purposefully she ran her hand over his ribs under the blanket trying to commit how his skin felt to memory. This moments she had will him felt so important and yet so delicate but she didn't truly know why. She didn't know if that feeling should make her feel more grateful, more afraid, or both. Perhaps it was because she had been taken from him and everything she had come to familiarize herself with before, it would be a lie to say that fear wasn't still in the back of her mind. When she spoke it was low, almost at a whisper.

"You ever feel like you could just disappear into thin air? Like the wind could blow too hard while you're outside and you'll be gone from the earth?"

He was silent as he took the last drag before putting it out in the ashtray before he answered. "Sometimes. Not all the time but sometimes. Why?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. I think maybe it's because someone taking me is still in the back of my mind. It's stupid but I'm still scared sometimes, I don't know why." Looking up at him she continued afraid of telling him how she felt because it was a mystery even to her. "I'm so grateful I found you that I don't know what I'd do if you left or if I was taken again."

He tucked her hair behind her ear searching her eyes for an answer they both chased their entire lives. "You won't have to find out Genevieve."

"You promise?"

He paused and swallowed nodding brushing his thumb over her cheek. "I promise." Kissing her forehead she closed her eyes and smiled to herself. "Thank you for everything."

"Did you have a good birthday?"

He grinned. "I did. Thank you baby."

That made her smile for him. "You deserve it all and more Rustin Cohle."

Giving him a kiss she rested her head back down feeling so overwhelmingly thankfully for his heartbeat under her ear lulling her to sleep.

Chapter 18 coming 7/13!

[woundedwhitewolf]

Hot take; Marty’s a piece of shit. Sorry not sorry

[woundedwhitewolf]

rust w my favorite song yay

I haven’t made an edit in yearssss this feels so weird

[woundedwhitewolf]

This is so Evie coded 🖤

♱ 𝔤𝔬𝔡 𝔩𝔬𝔳𝔢𝔰 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔟𝔲𝔱 𝔫𝔬𝔱 𝔢𝔫𝔬𝔲𝔤𝔥 𝔱𝔬 𝔰𝔞𝔳𝔢 𝔶𝔬𝔲. ♱ ꩜

[woundedwhitewolf]

Chapter 16 of Crown of Thorns is live and up now across all platforms. Happy Wednesday ♡

[woundedwhitewolf]

ℭ𝔥𝔞𝔭𝔱𝔢𝔯 𝔖𝔦𝔵𝔱𝔢𝔢𝔫

"Perhaps she did break something, perhaps that something was him, and that made fear rise in his throat like bile." - Rust Cohle (2001)

April 20th 2001. Friday.

Opening her eyes the dog wasn’t in bed as she stretched her arm out without opening her eyes. Rust wouldn’t be since he was at work but the dog not being there was odd. There was a smell in her room that wasn’t usually there. Opening her eyes she rolled over seeing a dozen roses in a mason jar on her nightstand, she grinned. A note was underneath it written in his hand.

I cut the thorns off so you can enjoy them properly. They aren’t as beautiful as you but they’ll do. Happy birthday baby. Rust.

Her grin turned to a smile at the thought and the mental image of him cutting off the thorns from the stem. Lily peaked her head through the cracked door that Rust usually left slightly opened so he didn’t wake her up in the morning.

“What are you doin’ outta bed beautiful girl?”

Wagging her butt she stared at her before headed back towards the door looking back at her. Assuming she had to go outside she threw on a t-shirt that was on the floor she went into the kitchen seeing his keys on the counter where he usually left them when he came home. Sure enough she looked out the window and saw his truck in the driveway.

“Where is he huh?”

Opening the door letting the dog out she ran towards Rust who was in the yard doing something to the lawnmower. When he saw the dog he looked up and smiled at her. With a white wife beater and jeans he was even more beautiful than the roses that sat on her nightstand.

“Mornin’.” Walking over the freshly cut grass towards him she grinned. “I wake you up?”

Without saying anything she kissed him putting her hands on his face. She felt him smile pulling her closer with a hand on her back chuckling against her lips. “What are you doing?”

“Putting the mower up.”

“No I meant what are you doing here? Not at work?”

“It’s your birthday. I didn’t wanna work on your birthday.”

She smiled. “You called out for my birthday?”

He nodded. “And tomorrow. Called you out too.”

She paused. “You didn’t tell Chris it was my birthday did you?”

He chuckled. “No.” She sighed with relief and he moved his thumb over her jawline he smiled at her. “Happy birthday baby.”

She smiled back jumping on him and he laughed holding her up noticing she didn’t have underwear on. “You’re only wearing a t-shirt.”

“I just got up, saw my flowers, your keys and truck and came out here. I love them by the way, they’re beautiful. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” He kissed her again and put her back down. “I’m just about done, I’ll be in in a minute. Coffees still hot.”

“You want some?”

“If ya don’t mind.”

She nodded. “You got it, lone star.” He slapped her ass as she walked away making her giggle.

When he did come in he sat at the table with her over coffee and lit a cigarette as she smoked her own. “Did you really cut off all the thorns?” He nodded. “You didn’t have to do that.”

Pulling on his cigarette he spoke through the smoke. “I know, I wanted to.” With her knees pulled to her chest in her chair the dog ate her breakfast, he nodded towards her. “She ever been out on the water?”

“What do you mean?”

“On a boat.” She shook her head. “Have you?”

She paused narrowing her eyes suspiciously. “Why?”

“Yes or no.”

“No..”

“Want to?”

She chuckled but he kept staring at her. “Oh my god you’re serious.”

“I gotta surprise for you but we gotta take a boat to get there.”

“You know I’m not fond of.. Wait you have a boat?”

He shook his head. “Marty does. Little jon boat. You wanna go?”

She smiled and nodded never having been on a boat but trusting him enough to be the first one to take her. “When?”

“After we finish this, we’ll get dressed, pack a bag, and we’ll go.” Biting her lip so she didn’t smile like a maniac she shook her head ashing her cigarette. “What?”

She looked at him. “Why’re you so good to me?”

He answered plainly as if it was obvious. “Because you deserve it so don’t hide that smile if I’m the one that put it there.”

She smiled freely letting him see it. “You’re the only reason it’s there, Rust.”

An hour and a half later they were in the truck with the dog, a bag in the back seat, and a jon boat on a trailer behind them. He reached over putting his hand on her thigh. She looked down with a grin lifting his hand to her lips kissing his knuckles before putting it back where it was. He kept glancing over with a smirk running his hand over her bare skin. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

His smirk changed to a smile. “I like seein’ you in cutoffs.” She giggled when he squeezed her with impossibly strong hands. “You’re so fuckin’ soft.. god damn.”

Looking at him she arched her eyebrow. “You wanna pull over?”

He chuckled. “I pull over we won’t get this boat in the water. I want a kiss though.” Leaning over she kissed him giggling as he lingering despite driving. “Even your lips are soft.”

The truck rumbled telling them both he went too close to the edge of the road and she laughed. “Rust!”

He laughed. “Don’t worry, we’re alright. We got plenty of time for that later.”

“Oh yeah?? Says who?”

He simply looked at her already knowing she wanted that, perhaps even more than he did. When she laughed again he smiled pulling her against him kissing her head. From behind them Lily leaned her head over licking at her ear as if to kiss her the way Rust did. He laughed again and it was her favorite sound in the world.

Finding themselves at a quiet spot in the woods as she watched him put the boat in the water. “You’ve done this before?”

He nodded. “Many times. Only here there’s no snow or ice.” After putting their bag in he turned to her and held his hand out. “C’mon.”

She hesitated. “I’ve never done this before.”

“That’s alright just trust me, I gotcha.” Grinning she took his hand and he helped in her. “Just sit down right there and look beautiful, I got the rest. You alright?” She laughed nervously and nodded because it was unsteady but sitting felt better. “You good?”

“Yeah I’m good.”

He turned to Lily who seemed eager to get in closer to the water. “You wanna get in there Miss Lily? C’mon.”

Instead of having her jump he lifted her with ease since she was getting older and jumping was growing more difficult thanks to the arthritis. “Still think you aren’t making her fat?”

The dog got in and sat in the middle like she’d been in and out of boats all her life but he shot her a look with a grin. “Shut up.” He pushed them off before jumping in himself making the boat move side to side. She tensed holding onto the bench she sat on but he was quick to notice. “It’s alright, it’ll smooth out just give me a second.”

Starting the motor they moved away from the shore into deeper water. Where they were was smaller than a river with nothing but swamp on both sides, Spanish moss hung down touching the water in some parts, and the bald cypress trees were wide with secrets. “You okay?” She couldn’t take her eyes off the things she was seeing as she nodded. “Miss Lily seems to like it.”

Turning she looked at the dog who had moved to the front of the boat watching everything as they slowly went by. “You see the water beautiful girl? You like it huh?” She lifted her nose up smelling the air and she couldn’t help but giggle. Smiling at him over her shoulder he was watching her. “Is it okay if I move?”

He grinned with a nod. A moment of bravery had her moving to the edge reaching her hand over letting her fingertips skim the top of the water. The ripples of water being hit by the sun made it look like it was sparkling. A beautiful all white egret waded by the bank in ankle deep water but flew over them as they went by, both her and Lily watched it moving their heads.

Hearing him chuckle she looked over at him. “What?”

“You’re both experiencing this for the first time together and I’m glad I’m here to see it.” She moved and sat in front of the bench he sat on in between his legs leaning back against him. He put an arm around her letting her hold his hand. “You alright?”

She nodded feeling herself getting emotional but swallowing it down. “It’s beautiful. Everything’s so alive. Thank you.”

Kissing the back of his hand he rubbed his thumb over her knuckles. “You’re welcome baby.”

“You gonna tell me where we’re going?”

“You’ll find out when we get there.”

Giggling she shook her head. “And why couldn’t we drive?”

“Well.. I wanted an excuse to take you out in the boat and after seein’ that smile I made the right decision.”

Smiling up at him after she tilted her head he smiled back. “Thank you.”

He kissed her forehead. “You don’t gotta thank me Genevieve.”

“I do and I am so shut up.”

He chuckled looking forward but she looked at him. Even around all the nature that made her feel like crying he was still the most beautiful thing she’d ever seen. Lily barked directed both their attention to the left where a big gator sunned himself on a downed tree. She sat up never having witnessed one in person.

“Holy shit.”

“That’s a big boy ain’t it? You see that Miss Lily?”

Finally noticing them he slipped under the water disappearing and she looked at Rust. “I’ve never seen one in real life. They’re pretty.”

He chuckled shaking his head. “Ain’t never heard anyone say a gator was pretty.”

“They are even if they’re dangerous.” Kissing him he kissed her back but she didn’t want to stop even as he spoke against her lips.

“I gotta watch where we’re goin’.”

She giggled moving her lips to his neck putting her hands on his knees. “So watch where we’re going.”

Nipping at his earlobe he sighed threading his fingers through her hair. “Genevieve..”

Gently kissing down to his collar bone she licked her way back up feeling the grip he had on her tighten the same time he hummed. “Fuck you’re gonna make me wreck this boat woman.”

Laughing she sat back down despite having entirely too much fun torturing him. He wrapped his arm around her moving his hand to her throat tilting her face to the side kissing her cheek speaking next to her ear. “You think cause it’s your birthday you can get away with bein’ a lil brat dont’cha? Hm?”

She giggled and he laughed. “Can’t I?” Kissing her head she held onto his forearm just watching the beauty around them go by slowly.

Seeing a little cabin up ahead she spoke. “Is that where we’re going?”

“Mhm.”

There was a short dock leading up to a stereotypical small house on the bayou and it was beautiful. “Whose is it?”

“It was Marty’s ol mans. Now they just rent it out but he told me we could use it.”

“Is it attached to dry land?”

He chuckled. “Mhm. Wouldn’t have brought her if it wasn’t. It don’t look like much but..”

“I love it. Have you seen inside?” He shook his head. “You haven’t?? Rust!”

He laughed. “If it’s a shithole we’ll leave.”

Pulling up to the dock he tied them to it before lifting the dog up. “She can’t go nowhere. Your turn, c’mon.”

Laughing as he lifted her up the same way he handed her the bag and climbed up himself. Together they walked the boards and she was entirely captivated by how beautifully peaceful it was, so alive she thought she’d only ever see it in pictures. “Good girl Miss Lily.”

She had found the ground and sniffed around exploring within their sight. “There better not be anymore surprises. No gift, no cake, this is more than enough.”

“You haven’t even seen inside.”

“I don’t need to. You did all this and it’s more than anyone else has ever done.”

Pulling out a key from his jeans he whistled to the dog unlocking the door letting her in first. Inside was cool thanks to the window unit, it was small and simple, and cozy in a way she couldn’t describe. There were fresh flowers on the small two person table. “Think these are for you lil sure shot.” Going over she saw there was a card with her name on it and she picked it up.

Evie. Hope you both enjoy this place and the quiet it brings. Fishing poles are in the closet, beer is in the fridge, help yourselves to whatever you want. Happy birthday. Maggie & Marty.

“That’s sweet.” From behind them Lily had already jumped up on the couch and she paused looking around. She could hardly comprehend why anyone would do anything this nice for her just because it was her birthday.

“You alright?”

She nodded but didn’t meet his eyes so he stopped in front of her gently tilting her head up. “Hey. Talk to me what’s wrong?”

She shook her head with a sigh. “I don’t know why shit like this gets to me. It’s overwhelming… like I don’t know how to react when people are nice to me.” He pulled her against his chest resting his chin on top of her head gently rubbing her back. “After midnight it’ll be six years. Six years ago they took me from you, from Lily..”

“I know.. Look at me.” When she did he put his hands on her face. “You’re here and so am I. They’re gone Genevieve and they ain’t coming back. I promise you I’ll keep you safe no matter what happens even though you can take care of yourself. You can breathe now.” She grinned grabbing his wrists looking up at him. “So whatever you wanna do we’ll do it. You wanna leave, stay, fish, whatever you want.”

“I just wanna be with you, I don’t care where we are Rust. Besides I don’t know how to fish.”

He smirked. “I can show you.” His thoughtfulness was never ending and all she could do was hug him. Hearing him chuckle with a kiss on her head he spoke against her hair. “You hungry?”

She nodded. “I could eat.”

“Let’s see what’s in the fridge. Lily, you want a drink? C’mon.”

He poured water in her bowl and made them both sandwiches with a bottle of lone star from the fridge. “This has grown on me by the way.”

He smirked taking a sip of his. “Told ya.”

“Would you ever go back to Texas?”

He set his bottle down looking at her before shaking her head. “No. I’m right where I wanna be.”

Taking the last sip of her beer she got up and straddled him putting her hands on the back of his neck. “So am I.” When she kissed his forehead she rested hers against it closing her eyes. “I’m so grateful for you, Rustin Cohle.”

Nudging his nose against her cheek he spoke softly. “Look at me.”

When she opened her eyes he looked at her. “So am I.”

Giggling she kissed him pushing her hands through his hair feeling him smile. “You wanna take the dog out and teach me how to fish?”

He nodded. “You want to?”

“If you'll show me.”

Smiling he patting her ass so she’d get up. “I reckon I can do that.”

When they did go outside to take Lily out they realized the bugs would’ve carried them away if they decided to fish so they decided to sit on the porch swing since it was screened in. Cuddling up to him he pulled her legs over his lap wrapping his arm around her she closed her eyes and just listened. The frogs, cicadas, splashes from the water in front of them, and the consistent quiet groan of the porch swing chains. There was so much life in such a little space and she wasn’t just talking about the bayou. “Thank you for doing all this.”

He kissed the top of her head. “You’re welcome baby. There isn’t enough deet in the world that would let us fish without getting eaten alive.”

She giggled. “It’s okay.”

He lit a cigarette and she spoke again. “Can I tell you something? I didn’t think I’d ever find myself in a place like this. I always thought my world was just this tiny little bubble of Missouri, Arkansas, and the little piece of Louisiana. The last part isn’t so bad but..”

He looked at her. “Are you happy?”

She immediately smiled. “The happiest I’ve been in my life so far. I find myself realizing that often whenever I’m with you, especially in a beautiful place like this.”

He pushed her hair from her face with a single finger. “I’m happy too.”

In the distance thunder rumbled letting them know there was rain on the way and she rested back against him. A question she didn’t want to ask popped into her head but she kept it to herself not wanting to ruin the calm they were both enjoying. After a few moments of silence while he rocked the swing back and forth he cut it with his deep voice. “You’re quiet.”

“Am I?”

“Is it just the day?”

She shook her head. “No I don’t think so.”

“Talk to me Genevieve.”

She sighed. “If you could have more kids, would you?”

He digested that before answering. “No.”

“You wouldn’t?” He shook his head. “Why not?”

“Because it wouldn’t feel right. That part of my life came and went. Why you ask?” She shrugged. “Genevieve.”

“If that was something you wanted it can’t be me. What if you change your mind later on? I can’t give that to you.”

He moved and turned so he was looking at her. “I’m not gonna change my mind. I want you whether or not that’s something you can do. I want you for you.” When he put his hand on the side of her face she closed her eyes leaning into his palm, his physical reassurance soothing something inside her no one else ever could. “I’m sorry.”

That made her open her eyes because he should be the last person apologizing. “What?”

“I’m sorry they took that from you.. you would’ve been a great mother.”

She shook her head. “No I wouldn’t. The only basis for comparison I have is exactly what not to do.”

He nodded wiping her cheek with his thumb. “That’s exactly what woulda made you a great one, baby.”

Feeling her bottom lip tremble he pulled her into his lap holding her as she held onto him. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. You don’t have to feel sorry for feeling Genevieve.”

“But it’s my birthday and I don’t wanna cry on my birthday anymore.”

“You can do whatever you want on your birthday even cry.” She managed a chuckle which made him do the same. “I don’t want anyone else, just you. You believe me when I say that you’re more than enough?”

With her head on his shoulder she nodded. “I believe you.”

He kissed the top of her head with an exhale gently rocking them listening to the thunder rolling closer. “What was your wife like?”

He spoke plainly, openly, and she was thankful he trusted her enough to do so. “She had dark brown hair and blue eyes. We met when I was working robbery in Texas and got married in 86, Sofia was born the year after. She was quiet, even when she left she was quiet about it, but I don’t blame her. After Sofia died in 89 we couldn’t handle it. I think we both resented each other for being alive. When I came home from work one day she was gone, left divorce papers on the table, and that was it.”

She paused before answering. “Did Sofia have your eyes?”

He sighed. “Mhm, yeah she did.”

Looking at him she touched his jawline keeping her head on his shoulder. “Maria told me one time that grief is love with no where to go. That’s why it’s so overwhelming. It has no where to go once person you love so much isn’t there anymore.”

He kept his gaze forward and nodded slightly. “She was a smart woman.”

She kissed his cheek before resting her head back down closing her eyes just listening to the world around her.

They sat out there until the rain started to blow in through the screens forcing them inside. Under the tin roof it sounded soothing and ended up putting her to sleep on the couch with the dog. When she woke up Lily had her head on her chest, she could tell by her heart rate she was having a nightmare. Kissing her head she sat up rubbing her eyes. “Hey.”

He was in the kitchen making dinner when she looked up with a grin. Getting up not saying anything she wrapped her arms around him just wanting to feel close because on top of her regular nightmares, new ones had spawned that involved him being taken from her or leaving. “Nightmare?” She nodded. He turned around and lifted her onto the counter kissing her forehead letting her hug him as he rubbed her back. “You okay?”

“I am now.”

“You wanna go wash up? Dinner’s almost done.”

“Okay.”

He chuckled because she answered but still held onto him so he lifted her down. Walking away she didn’t let go of him and he smiled smacking her ass knowing it would make her laugh. After brushing her hair, washing her face and hands, she took her bra off to feel more comfortable. Dinner was on the table when she came out and all she could do was smile. The only thought in her head as they ate was she didn’t deserve him but she was so lucky he was here with her. He stopped her when she tried to clean up from dinner and agreed to help since she insisted. Lily was fed her dinner and they relaxed on the couch, her head in his lap as she looked up at him. He draped his arm over her running his finger over the gold chain around her neck. “She would’ve really liked you.”

“Maddy?” She nodded. “I feel like I know her just from hearing you talk about her, seein’ her in pictures and on the good tapes I saw.”

Running his hand over her chest up her thighs and resting it on her stomach she held it lacing her fingers through his. “Sorry I fell asleep.”

He chuckled. “Don’t apologize.”

With his free hand he pushed her hair from her face and she looked at him the same way he looked at her. “Thank you. I had a good birthday.”

He smirked. “It’s not over yet.”

She furrowed her eyebrows. “What’s that mean?”

“Sit up for a second.” When she did he came back from the bedroom with a box sitting down next to her and handing it over.

Pausing she looked at him. “What is it?”

“Open it.”

“Rust.. I said no gifts.”

“Just open the damn box.” Inside was a Polaroid camera and two boxes of film. “I know it isn’t newer but I wanted you to be able to take pictures for yourself of things you want to remember.”

She smiled because he was so unwaveringly thoughtful. “How do I work it?”

He chuckled. “Here, I’ll show you.”

Loading it up for her and explaining how it worked he handed it to her. “Is there a timer on it?”

“Yeah right here.”

She set it up and set it on the table in front of them before sitting on his lap. He took her by surprise grabbing her jaw gently kissing her at the same time he gripped her thigh smiling against her lips. She slid her hands into his hair and couldn’t help but giggle as he leaned in and she pulled him closer. Even as it took their picture and spit it out slowly he kept kissing her pulling her leg around him grabbing her ass. She was laughing when it took another picture for some reason but she didn’t care, especially when he pulled her into his lap straddling him.

“I wanna see!” Leaning back she grabbed them both and smiled. “Look.”

He did and looked back up at her with a smile. “You like it?”

“I love it. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome baby.”

“I want one with me, you and Lily.”

Setting it back up she called Lily over sitting on his lap with her legs to one side as the dog sat next to him resting her head on her thighs. For that one they did smile for the sheer fact that Lily almost seemed to be expecting it. When she reached forward and grabbed it they both looked at themselves sitting together with the dog who looked at the camera. “We look pretty good together don’t we?”

He kissed her shoulder. “Yeah we do. I’m glad you like it.”

She turned to him. “I love it. Thank you.” She kissed him after looking at the photos that meant more to her than he could possibly realize. Moving her lips all across his face she spoke between kisses. “I love it, I love it, I love it.”

He laughed squeezing her leg kissing her neck speaking in a devilishly low tone. “You can take whatever kinda pictures you want with that.” She laughed back knowing exactly what he meant. “You want cheesecake pictures of me all you gotta do is take em and you wanna know something? You should start right now lone star.”

He chuckled. “Lemme up. I’ll take her out and give her a treat.”

With a school girl smile she got up taking her camera and the film into the bedroom. Brushing her teeth she heard him lock the door, give the dog a treat and her taking it on the couch before going to the bathroom himself. She couldn’t help looking at the pictures of them together  smiling. Grabbing a pen from her bag she wrote the date so she never forgot it.

4/20/01- 27th birthday somewhere on the bayou.

“Whatdya doin’?” He came up behind her kissing her temple.

“Writing this down so I don’t forget.” Taking the pen he encapsulated her with his arms as he wrote on the one of the three of them.

Genevieve, the most beautiful woman in the world, celebrating her birthday with Lily and Rustin Cohle, a very lucky Texan who has no idea how lucky he really is. Happy birthday baby.

She smiled turning around wrapping her arms around his neck. “The most beautiful woman in the world?”

He nodded. “That’s right.”

“Meanwhile look at you. I’m the lucky one.” Pushing him back towards the bed making him laugh as she climbed into his lap pulling his shirt off. The bare skin underneath was hot to the touch as always reminding her hands to be greedy and run over every inch of him. Kissing his face down to his neck he felt him relax against her and go completely pliant when she nipped at his ear. She smiled speaking into his ear. “I’m fucking crazy about you Rustin Cohle. Did you know that?”

His hands gripped her ass. “Tell me.”

Slowly pushing her fingers through his hair her back involuntarily arched into him. “Everything about you. The way you smell, taste, feel under my hands. How you touch me, the fucking things you do to me without even trying. There’s just something about you baby.”

Those huge strong hands she loved so much slid up her back under her tank top pulling it up at the same time. Smiling she lifted her arms letting him take it off her and toss it to the floor.

He moved her hair over her shoulders so it flowed down her back before looking up at her and moving his fingertips over her face. “The most beautiful girl in the world.”

She held his hand kissing his knuckles. “All yours. I wouldn’t wanna be anyone else’s.”

“Ain’t that somethin’ to hear. Makes me the luckiest man alive.” Grabbing her chin gently he pulled her into a kiss where they both smiled within it unable to express in words how grateful they were for one another. Both desire and appreciation propelled them forward, magnets drawn to one another that once close enough there was no letting go. When she felt his hands find her tits she whimpered hearing him chuckle. “You’re so weak for my hands aren’t you?”

Pushing him flat with her hand on his chest she smiled. “I am and you know it, that’s why you use it to your advantage.”

Entirely too fast he sat up rolling her off and tossing her so her head was on the pillows making her laugh. “Rust!”

Smiling at her he licked his lips undoing her shorts. “I ain’t the only one who uses shit to their advantage. These legs in this pair of cut offs, wearin’ your hair down, giving me that look with that lil giggle you do. I can go on and on.” Pulling them and her panties down her legs tossing them on the floor next to her tank top. “Like I said before.. you’re a god damn dream I don’t wanna wake up from baby.”

He kissed her hard with his entire body as if the atoms within him needed to bond with her own and she loved every second of it. The freckled skin under her palms was so soft, muscles rippling as he moved, and she was completely naked pressed against him when she wrapped her legs behind his thighs pulling him closer. He pulled back slightly running his fingertips over her lips. She couldn’t help but arch against him parting her lips as he watched two fingers slide into her mouth. When she wrapped her lips around them and sucked he clenched his jaw with a groan. Taking them from her mouth he moved them down between her legs where she opened them willingly. The second he touched where she wanted him most her eyes rolled back and a long moan escaped her.

“My second favorite sound in the world.”

Circling her slowly he grabbed onto him. “Ugh god Rust..”

“There it is. That’s my favorite sound. Music to my fuckin’ ears. Make some more baby, c’mon sing for me.”

He was teasing her on purpose, studying how she reacted to him the way you’d observe a specimen under a microscope, but she felt nothing but complete bliss. With her eyes rolling back completely languid just like his movements both she and her body trusted him entirely. “Mmhmm. Just lemme make you feel good.”

He slid his fingers inside and she cried out digging her nails into the skin on his shoulder. As he moved his hand curling his fingers upwards hitting that spot she never could he kissed every inch of skin he could speaking softly. “So soft. Your lips.. fuck I love your lips.”

Kissing her open mouth as she moaned he was torn from continuing and watching her. “You look so beautiful when you cum and I wanna watch you do it for me baby. Do it for me.”

She nodded desperately biting her bottom lip starting to squirm at how good it felt.

“Mhmm that’s it. Just feel it, stay with me and feel it.”

The faster he rocked his hand that had the heel of his palm putting the perfect amount of friction on her clit the faster she unraveled. There were no words able to be formulated and based on the look in his eyes he reveled in being able to have her this way. “Fuck Rust.. fuck!”

“Atta girl, there ya go baby just like that.” Her legs shook, back arched forcing her shoulder blades off the bed, and fists gripped at the sheets. It wasn’t until he took his hand away that she looked up at him as he slipped his fingers inside his mouth. Licking her lips she pulled him against her desperate for his mouth. When he gave it to her she reached down for the button on his jeans but he grabbed her hands pushing them to the mattress.

“Rust please..”

He chuckled shaking his head. “Oh no no no, I ain’t done with you yet baby. I plan on taking my time with you.”

Kissing her across her neck, down her sternum, he licked his way over her stomach until he was between her legs. He moved her legs over his shoulders the same time she reached for his hair that was now long enough for her to grab handfuls of. If it wasn’t for that she wouldn’t know what to do with her hands at the mercy of his deliberate rhythm that was laser focused on her pleasure and nothing else. He listened with his mouth better than most men listened with their ears, unhurried to get her where he wanted her which luckily was exactly where she wanted to be.

“Oh my god fuck baby that feels so good Rust.”

Letting go of a hum his fingers dug into her hips either holding her in place or fighting to keep himself there. His eyes rolled back slowly like an addict that had just scored and that rattled her the most. He wanted this, wanted her, and that completely destabilized her in a way no one had ever done before. Throwing her head back writhing under him she cried out his name, legs shaking and chest lifting towards the ceiling, and shattered. He didn’t come up right away as she shivered and twitched but kissed her inner thighs rested his cheek there for a moment breathing against her. When he looked up that devious grin was on his face before he latched on again only this time he added his fingers into the mix. There was no words she could use just pitched sounds and moans was all she could manage. Glancing down at him in complete bliss she realized she wasn’t used to this kind of worship, this absolute devotion to her and how she felt. When he coaxed another orgasm from her with maddening ease he slowly kissed his way up her body until his lips met hers. She needed him in some primal way that to stemmed from her DNA and it was impossible to ignore. Forgetting entirely to reach for his belt since her head was still hazy she just focused on kissing him and let him do the rest. When he lifted his head opening his heavy eyes he looked at her with a smile.

“Tell me what you want baby.”

Out of breath and overwhelmed in the best way she spoke after licking her lips and swallowing. “You, I just want you. It’ll always be you Rust please.”

Positioning himself between her legs they opened eagerly for him and he watched her as he slowly slid inside her. A long, mewling, moan of relief at having him finally ease the fire inside he had stoked to red hot coals that could ignite at any moment.

Her eyes rolled back and she arched into him. “Rust..”

He licked up her neck biting her bottom lip redirecting her gaze back to him. “Jesus, Genevieve..” Holding the back of his neck her fingertips felt his hair soft and slightly curled she stared up at him in awe. “You feel like you were made for me.”

She nodded because she felt the exact same way about him, his body felt familiar from the first time he offered it. There was a recognition in her bones as if her very being had been waiting for him all these years. “I was. I’m all yours.”

Every time he had made her cum since the first time they slept together he was either unknowingly or knowingly helping her reclaim her body. By doing that he unknowingly or knowingly made her completely his. Not in a way others had tried to own her in the past but in a sense that she finally belonged somewhere. With him she didn’t feel ruined, she felt known, and present. There was no selling steel or hiding softness let alone the world around them because he was all she saw. He moved with her their foreheads hovering above one another trying to gasp the same air quietly. Digging her nails into his shoulders after traversing his back she wrapped her legs around him trying to tether herself to the same earth he was on as she whimpered his name. “Rust..”

Every thrust felt like a silent prayer between their flushed bodies and sweat damped skin as he breathed against her mouth. His weight on her didn’t feel oppressive rather more like gravity grounding her exactly where she needed to be. “Everything disappears when I have you like this. Everything but you.”

Tightening around him hypersensitive at the high he had brought her to he noticed. “I gotcha baby, just breathe.”

That reassurance is what pushed her over the precipice and had her legs shaking as he continued to move making sure she felt every second.

“Atta girl.”

When her body released all the tension she melted still holding onto him crying out with desperate gasps. He reached down and hooked her leg over his forearm deepening the angle. “Fuck baby, you feel so good.”

There wasn’t a thought in her head but him and the white noise of pleasure thrumming through her veins. The way his hips ground down on her, the smell of him, and the sounds he made invaded her senses. When she felt another earth shattering orgasm building yet unsure if the previous one ever stopped she looked at him and saw his own in his face. That tension working its way up his spine, the ache burning under his skin leaving his forehead damp and his brows furrowed.

She tightened around him making him cry out desperately with his voice breaking. “Genevieve..”

“Don’t stop.”

His body tensed and hers arched into him the same time a soft, broken sound left his throat. Every nerve burning and every muscle pulled taut leaving them shaking. Even though they were damp with sweat neither of them let go of one another. When he collapsed down burying his face in her neck she closed her eyes aware of the heartbeat thundering all over her body that seemed louder than the rain on the tin roof. For a reason she couldn’t understand she felt like crying and her eyes started to well. Putting her hand in his hair she hid her face the same way he did.

Slowly kissing her shoulder he lifted his head nudging his nose against her cheek. “You okay?” She nodded quickly, maybe too quickly. “Did I hurt you?”

“No I’m okay.”

He sat up slightly and looked at her. “Hey. Hey look at me.” When she did he saw her eyes and there was no hiding. “Whats’a matter baby?”

She shook her head. “Nothing, I just feel like a raw exposed nerve.”

He smoothed her hair down kissing her forehead resting his on hers afterwards. Taking her hand he rested it on his chest over his heart. “I feel it too. It’s a normal response, it’s a completely normal response baby. It’s a release.”

He was right and it still took her by surprise that sex could feel safe but with him she knew it always would be. Wrapping her arms around his shoulders she buried her face in his neck and he just held her. “It’s okay, I’m here. I’m right here Genevieve. Just let it go I gotcha.”

Silent tears fell but they weren’t from sadness rather an overwhelming happiness. Neither of them said anything as they came back down to earth together. He rolled onto his side taking her with him holding her close to him rubbing her back still inside her. No one calmed her down better than him, his touch shattered her and put her back together in the best way. Letting her calm down kissing her head as he held her quietly while the rain came down so hard on the tin roof. Beside the small bedside lamp flashes of lightning in quick succession came through the window pane, the rolling thunder getting louder as it neared.

He swallowed and sighed letting his breathing slow the same way she did. “You okay?”

She sniffed and sighed curled up safe to his chest. “I’m sorry, I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

He spoke softly and matter of factly. “There’s nothing wrong with you Genevieve. It’s called postcoital dysphoria. Flood of oxytocin and dopamine, the feel good chemicals that hit your brain. After you orgasm they subside and almost cause a crash, sometimes it can manifest as tears. Especially with you it’s an emotional release just as much as it’s a physical one. You’ve gone through enough when it comes sex, your body and how it’s been used, hasn’t been your choice. Being vulnerable like this is a lot and when it’s intense this can happen. So it’s okay if you’re not. I know what day it is and I know it’s tough for you but this is still new to both of us, baby. It isn’t you and it isn’t your fault.”

She didn’t move as she answered. “How do you know all this? Reading those psychology books?”

He chuckled from deep in his chest. “Mhm. But you aren’t the only one who feels like that.”

That made her lift her head and look at him. “I’m not?”

He looked back shaking his head and brushed her hair away from her temple touching her face to wipe away the tears before taking her hand resting it on his neck. His pulse was still quick even after the few moments they took to calm down. “When I’m with you everything goes quiet, overwhelmingly quiet in a way I could’ve only dreamed of before I met you. You make all the noise stop but when you look at me the way you’re doin’ right now? If there is a God I’d kill him with my bare fuckin’ hands to keep you looking at me like that Genevieve.”

Leaning into his palm she closed her eyes fighting tears for a different reason. “I’ve been more grateful for anyone the way I’m grateful for you and the man you are to me Rustin Cohle.”

He kissed her forehead gently resting his against hers. “Only for you.” Grabbing his wrist she kissed him letting her lips linger. She nudged her nose against his gently biting the tip of his. When he smiled she couldn’t help but giggle. “Wanna get ready for bed?”

She nodded.

Getting out of bed she stumbled slightly. “You alright?”

She grinned and nodded. “My legs are shakey.” He tried to hide his smile and she giggled. “Go ahead and boast, you deserve it.”

Coming over to her he picked her up carrying her to the bathroom setting her down gently. After she used the bathroom she rinsed her face while he did the same before washing his hands. Picking her up again she smiled. “I’m okay.”

“It’s my doing so hush.”

She wrapped her arms around him both of them still naked heading back to the bedroom. “Yeah it is. I’m not complaining by the way.” He put her in bed and got in next to her. “I guess it is kinda your fault for making me cum so many times.”

He chuckled looking at her. “You deserve it baby and not just because it’s your birthday.”

Kissing him he closed his eyes relaxing. Lying next to him on her side she stared at him as he laid on his back with his head facing her and his eyes closed. Touching his face gently with the back of her knuckles he grinned slightly leaning into her. “Can I tell you something?”

He didn’t open his eyes. “Hm?”

“I worry about you when you’re at work.” He chuckled. “I’m serious. I worry about something happening to you Rust.”

With that he opened his eyes grabbing her hand. “You don’t gotta worry about me. I’ve been a cop for a long time.”

“I know but I still worry. I’ve never cared about someone the way I care about you, I’m not good at it and it’s scary.”

He pushed her hair from her face. “I’m not good at either and I know it’s scary. Every time I look at you I get scared.”

She paused. “What? Why?”

“Because I didn’t think I’d feel this again. Feel at all really. I didn’t plan to ever again and then I met you. It’s strong Genevieve, stronger than anything I’ve ever felt before. That’s why I get scared. I don’t wanna screw it up and lose you again.”

Putting her hand on his face she stroked her thumb over his cheekbone. “You never lost me Rust. I was with you those five years. Maybe not like this but I was with you. I’ll always be with you, I promise. You believe me?”

He nodded. “Yeah I do.”

She smiled and leaned over kissing him not wanting to let his lips go, he didn’t want her to either based on how he cradled her head. Resting her forehead against his she nudged her nose against his smiling. “C’mere baby.” She cuddled up against his bare chest and he pulled her closer kissing her forehead. “Thank you for today, it was a good day.”

She felt him smile. “You ain’t gotta thank me.”

“Well I did so shut up.”

He chuckled whistling to the dog who happily jumped up slower than when she was younger lying behind her because he knew that’s where she felt the safest, between the both of them. “It’s gettin’ harder for her to jump.”

She sighed rolling over so Rust was at her back as she stroked Lily’s ears. “Getting old sucks doesn’t it beautiful girl?” The dog rested her head on the pillow and sighed closing her eyes. “Did you have a good day baby? Hm? You got to go on a boat and see an alligator.” Rust chuckled kissing her shoulder reaching over and petting her back. “She’s a good dog.” “I’m so glad she had you when I was gone.”

“I’m glad I had her. Don’t know what I woulda done if I didn’t.” Turning her head she looked at his lips before kissing him. He kissed her forehead and she kissed Lily’s head. “Get some sleep.”

“You first lone star.”

She closed her eyes listening to the rain and drifted off in her personal version of heaven.

Rust

The rain had slowed as the storm passed but the thunder still rumbled while it moved off. The lighting wasn’t as bright and the sounds of the swamp could be heard again. Singing frogs and cicadas mixed with a stillness on the other side of the wall he knew felt like high humidity with no air circulating. He was sitting up leaning back on the headboard watching her sleep with a cigarette between his lips. Pulling at it he ashed in the ashtray on his stomach before reaching over moving her hair from her face. In sleep she clung onto Lily and it be damned if that dog didn’t cuddle her back moving a paw over her ribs nestling her giant head against hers. He grinned at the sight finding himself jealous in a way that Lily had known her like this way before they met. Thinking back to her crying he was afraid he had hurt her at first but then he realized no one had ever brought her pleasure in the way she felt it tonight, especially not physically. It wasn’t sadness or shame but rather an overwhelming recognition. She knew she was safe with him and her body finally caught up to truly believing it, that someone could touch her without the intention of hurting her. The tears were a result of letting herself feel too many feelings too fast even if she didn’t consciously realize it, orgasm was just a catalyst to take her out of her own head long enough for it to happen. She didn’t cry because it hurt, she cried because it didn’t. Almost as if she were being punished by her own peace or fearing the softness she still had after everything she’d seen and had done to her. He knew what that felt like.

This day would be hard for her, he knew that, it might always be hard for her but there were much deeper feelings behind those green eyes. Green eyes that dizzied him reminding him of a strained neck and frozen face looking up at the dancing lights in the sky as a kid. The woman beside him was a complete mystery to him that he didn’t truly want to figure out. He had efficiently shut out all things that define the human experience but somehow she had seeped so deep into the cracks that hadn’t been completely filled he was feeling things again. Fear, anger, sadness, longing, happiness, and they all revolved around her. The same way a root pierces the soil and spreads beneath the earth was how he felt about her. She was a seed that had been planted in soil where nothing could ever grow and flourished anyway against all odds. She was grace with teeth, someone who also knew what it was like to carry silence as a second skin, whose body remembers pain even in peace when it found her and she had no idea what she was doing to him. He put his cigarette out and looked at her in peaceful sleep embodied calm when there could’ve been nightmares that were anything but. She didn’t know how beautiful she was is all he could think of along with her apologizing like she broke something when she cried. Perhaps she did break something, perhaps that something was him, and that made fear rise in his throat like bile. There were so many things that had the ability to hurt however he’d learned to navigate around it after all those years from Texas until now. But she was above logic and rationale that had him curling up to the one thing that had the ability to hurt him the most since Sofia. There was and would be no preparing for those aurora green eyes even as they were closed in sleep.

April 21st 2001. Saturday.

Genevieve

Waking up she smelled coffee and felt him or the dog weren’t in bed with her. She got up and threw on his shirt seeing him out on the porch with the dog. He was sitting next to her, his arm around her scratching behind her ear with coffee and a cigarette in the other hand as they both looked over the heavy morning fog over the bayou. Without a shirt the muscles in his back were prominent, peaks and valleys of strength he kept hidden beneath button up shirts and suit jackets. He was beautiful, Lily was beautiful, and the scenery was beautiful. Smiling to herself she grabbed the camera taking their picture which made them both turn and look at her. She giggled when he grinned and Lily got up coming over wagging her butt. “Hi beautiful girl. Good morning baby. You looking at the water?” Looking at Rust she sat in his lap curling against his chest. “Morning lone star.”

He kissed her head. “You get coffee yet?”

“No, I got up and saw you both so I cane out here first.”

Handing her his coffee she smiled taking a sip after sitting up and he just watched her. “You okay?” She nodded. “Feel any older?”

“Everyday I wake up. I can tell it was raining last night.”

“Your ankle or wrist?”

“Ankle.”

Handing him back his coffee she curled back up to his chest basking in his smell and the nature in front of them. “You sleep okay?”

She nodded. “Mhm. You?”

“Usually do when I’m with you. Watched you sleep for a lil bit after you drifted off.”

She smirked. “If I didn’t like you so much I’d call you a fucking creep.”

He chuckled. “You’re beautiful when you sleep. I shoulda taken your picture.”

“Okay now that would make you a fucking creep Rust, oh my god.”

He laughed resting his chin on her head. “It ain’t like that I was just up thinkin’ is all.”

“About what? Contemplating the universe like always?”

He pulled on his cigarette before answering. “Mostly you.”

“What about me?”

“Just you.”

Leaning her head back she looked at him. “And how I’m all yours?”

He grinned. “Somethin’ like that. C’mon let’s get you some coffee.”

Going inside he made it for her. “Are we staying here tonight?”

“We can if you want, there’s food enough for lunch and dinner. Or we can go back to the house, up to you.”

“What do you wanna do?”

He smiled. “Don’t matter, it ain’t my birthday.”

“Not mine either.”

He chuckled slapping her ass as he went to feed the dog. “Smart ass.”

She smiled watching him and how the ink of his tattoos moved with his skin. “I miss mine.”

“What’s that?”

“My tattoo.”

“We can getcha another one.”

“What over all my scars? No I don’t think so.”

“You aren’t completely covered in scars baby.”

“Might as well be. Can you do them?”

He paused and looked at her. “Do what?”

“Tattoos.”

He smirked and halfway scoffed a laugh. “What? No. You think this is? Prison?”

She rolled her eyes sipping her coffee. He came over and took her mug, set it on the counter, before picking her up and setting her on it too handing her coffee back standing between her knees with his hands on her thighs. “If you got another what would you get?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know.” He smirked and she couldn’t help but giggle. “What?”

Shaking his head he licked his lips letting his eyes roam over her. “You look damn good in my clothes but you look even better in nothin’ at all.”

She smiled setting his coffee aside pushing her fingers into his hair scratching his scalp down to his shoulders because she knew he loved that. “If you want me to be naked all you gotta do is ask.”

He closed his eyes and exhaled heavily relaxing. “Since I’ve seen what you got under there I don’t wanna see you wearing anything ever again.”

Pulling him against her with her arms and legs she scratched his bare back kissing his neck. “You make it sound like I’m irresistible to you.”

He turned his head into hers. “You have no fuckin’ idea Genevieve.”

She giggled nipping at his earlobe pausing when she saw something she wasn’t expecting. “Wait a minute.”

He paused fighting himself looking at her. “What’s wrong?”

She leaned closer. “Is that what I think it is?”

“What?”

“Do.. do you have your ear pierced?” He closed his eyes and smiled before leaning his head down chuckling. “Oh my god you do!”

Licking his lips he looked at her still smiling. “I do. Just the left one.”

“But why?”

“From when I was undercover.” She smiled but bit her lip and he arched his eyebrow. “Don’t you fuckin’ say shit.”

“What?? I like it.”

“Mhm I’m sure.”

She giggled. “I do! I do like it baby, I think it’s sexy.”

He smirked shaking his head. “I love that lil giggle you do.”

Reaching his hand up he brushed her hair from her face tucking it behind her ear. “You’re so beautiful baby.”

She leaned into him as he kissed her forehead putting her hands on his chest. “You’re the beautiful one now let me up so I can make you breakfast.”

He kissed her again before letting her hop down. Something as simple as making him food and glancing over at him letting the dog out she smiled to herself wishing they could stay in this quiet place away from the world forever.

Chapter 17 is here!

[woundedwhitewolf]

True Detective S1E8

[woundedwhitewolf]

Hii, silly question but where do you find those aesthetic clips and videos from your trailer? or do you just search random words into youtube? i’ve tried doing that but i never seem to find what i’m looking for :(

YouTube is definitely a good resource but I’m also partial to collecting any and every type of footage/photographs I find at estate sales, antique shops, and thrift stores. Internet archive is also a great place to look because their data base is so huge! Also old documentaries are a good place to look as well.

[woundedwhitewolf]

My fellow insomniacs, we are 30 minutes into Wednesday and Chapter Fifteen of Crown of Thorns is up now across all platforms ♡

[woundedwhitewolf]

ℭ𝔥𝔞𝔭𝔱𝔢𝔯 𝔉𝔦𝔣𝔱𝔢𝔢𝔫

“We’re not so different, you and I. We both spent a majority of our lives being used and passed around like an object.” - Genevieve Fox (2001)

March 23rd 2001. Friday.

The bar was busier than yesterday since it was a Friday but she didn’t mind, time went faster when it was busy. The quiet moments where she would be doing busy work and Rob would come talk to her were inevitable so she took advantage popping out back for a cigarette. A waitress came out and only glanced over at her sitting on the picnic table before striking her lighter ten times to no avail. “Here, you can use mine.”

She smiled. “Thanks.” Sitting down she pulled on her cigarette. “We haven’t met, I’m Harley. I work weekends waiting tables.”

“Evie.”

“How do you like it behind the bar?”

“It’s not bad.”

“Robby bother you yet?”

She paused pulling on her cigarette looking at her. “Sorry?”

“Has he hit on you yet?”

Exhaling before responding she was curious. “Is that a common occurrence here?”

“If you have tits, especially ones that look like yours.”

She smirked shaking her head because Rust was absolutely right he just beat her to reading him. “I’ve noticed he’s nosey, wants to know everyone’s business unless that’s just me.”

“No it’s not just you, that’s him. He thinks he’s entitled to know everything about everyone. just because people know his daddy.”

“Who’s his dad?”

“Jack Speece.”

“Never heard of em.”

“He’s a cop I guess.”

“Really?”

Harley nodded. “Pretty important one from what I heard. Gets him outta trouble all the time and it goes right to his head because no one has the balls to stand up to him.”

She furrowed her brows. “What do you mean?”

“Couple months ago we had a waitress, April, she quit because he wouldn’t stop hitting on her. He scared her I guess and she didn’t really talk to anyone, shy like ya know? She never said nothin’ so she just left.”

“Does Chris know this?”

“By the time he found out she’d already quit. I guess he gave Robby a talkin' to but it’s in one ear and out the other with him.”

She rolled her eyes. “Typical.”

Harley nodded. “Fuckin’ tell me about it. As if being a woman in a bar ain't bad enough.”

“Most men feel entitled to the attention I think. Especially if they look like him.”

Harley grinned. “Not your type?”

She shook her head with a smirk. “I’ve found I like a man that doesn’t have to overcompensate to prove he is one.”

Harley chuckled. “If you don’t have a boyfriend, make one up. He usually backs off but I can’t make any promises.”

“He boldly asked if I was gonna introduce him to mine yesterday while he sat on the other side of the bar.”

In shock Harley looked at her. “Are you kiddin’ me?”

She nodded back. “Before he offered to walk me out to my truck. Also in front of him.”

Harley laughed shaking her man. “What a fuckin’ asshole. What’d your man say about it?”

She smiled. “He saw right through it.”

“Don’t let him push you around.”

She shook her head standing and putting out her cigarette. “I don’t plan on it. Next man that tries to push me around’ll meet the end of my gun.”

Harley smiled. “I think we’re gonna get along.”

After going back inside and serving two customers Rob came up to stand next to her. “Boyfriend coming in tonight?”

“Maybe, I’m not sure.”

“He always so edgy?”

She smirked. “Why do you ask?”

“Just wondering.”

“Are you interested? Because I’m pretty positive you aren’t his type.”

He chuckled awkwardly. “No you smart ass. I was just curious.”

Taking a drink order she made it responding. “You got a girlfriend?”

“Nope.”

“Boyfriend?”

He laughed as if the concept was foreign to him. “No.”

“Maybe you should think about getting one or the other. I’m shocked you don’t with the way you flirt with everyone.”

He laughed again but she could see that got under his skin. “Haven’t found anyone worth my time but I am nice to everyone.”

“Mhm nice. Whatever you gotta tell yourself.”

To her surprise Rust came in a little after 8:30 smiling at her as he sat at the bar. “Ma’am.”

She smirked. “What can I get you lone star?”

“Did you eat?” She shook her head. “Wanna get two burgers to go and we’ll eat when we get home?”

She grinned. “Sure. You want a drink?”

He shook his head. “No ma’am I’m good, thank you.” Since his tie was off, shirt unbuttoned and sleeves rolled up she knew he went home already. “How’s it going?”

She shrugged pulling a pint of Guinness for a customer. “Not bad. It’s easier when it’s busy.”

“Have as many distractions tonight?”

She grinned knowing what he meant. “Not really.”

Harley came over and asked her to make a drink for a table she waited on so she did while the Guinness settled. “Harley this is Rust. Rust, Harley. She waitresses on weekends.”

Harley smiled shaking his hand when he offered it. “Rustin Cohle. Nice to meet you.”

She nodded. “Likewise.”

Handing the drink to her Harley took it mouthing at her when she walked behind Rust. “He’s hot.”

She smirked and Rust looked at her with a grin. “What?”

She shook her head. “Nothing. I’ll go put our food order in. Medium?”

He nodded. “Yes ma’am.”

When she came back out from the kitchen she wiped the bar down where she’d been working and washed glasses as Rob came over. “You almost outta here?”

She nodded. “Just put my dinner order in. Eager to get rid of me?”

He nudged her arm with a grin. “Absolutely not. You workin’ tomorrow?”

She shrugged. “Not sure.”

“You should.”

“Why?”

“Workin’ with you’s fun.”

“There’s plenty of Saturdays to work, you’ll survive without me for one day.”

Rust paid for their food, she gathered her stuff along with their dinner, and let Chris know she was leaving. Walking up to Rust he stood kissing her head taking the food from her so she didn’t have to carry it. Rob nodded at them thankfully not offering to walk her out. “Y’all have a good night.”

She grinned and waved to Harley as they headed towards the door. “I’ll miss having you come to collect me when I start working real shifts.”

“I still can if you want.”

She shook her head with a grin. “No you need to sleep.”

“I only sleep when you’re around.”

He opened her door for her and she turned to him standing on the tips of her toes kissing him. “I’ll see you at the house.”

He smiled and took the food with him to the truck.

At the house Lily laid at his feet while they sat at the table when he spoke. “He give you any problems tonight?”

She shook her head. “Not really. That waitress I introduced you to told me some interesting things about him though.”

“Like what?”

“She asked if he’d hit on me yet and when I asked if that usually happened she told me about a waitress that ended up quitting few months back because he bothered her.”

“She tell anybody?”

She shook her head. “I asked her the same thing and I guess she kept to herself. Think she was afraid or intimidated by him. She said no one ever sets him straight because of who his dad is.”

“She say a name?”

With a grin she nodded. “Mhm. Says he’s a cop. I don’t remember his first name but the last name was Speece.” He paused shaking his head with a chuckle. “What? You know him?”

“Mhm. He’s the boss of my boss.”

“What’s he like?”

He looked at her with a grin. “I never liked him, he’s a fuckin’ asshole. Marty don’t either so it isn’t just me being the office pariah. At least his boy got it honest. Probably why he showed his ass when he saw my badge.”

“I’ll be on my best behavior then. God forbid he bitches to his father and you gotta hear about it.”

He shook his head lighting a cigarette. “No, he gives you shit you set em straight. I can handle my end, you can handle yours alright?”

She smirked getting up throwing her leg over his lap and sitting down running her hands up his chest. “Cause my ole man is a bad man right?”

He smiled with a devilishly handsome grin putting his hand on her hip grabbing her speaking with that accent she loved hearing. “God damn right but my girl can hold her own.”

She giggled with a nod leaning down kissing him smiling against his mouth. “Harley was right.” He looked confused but she giggled. “When she saw you I read her lips after I made her the drink she ordered.”

His brow arched and he smirked. “And?”

“She said you were hot and she was right. I’m a lucky girl to have you all to myself.”

“Yeah you do baby.” He chuckled taking a drag of his cigarette looking at her.

“Give me some.”

He put the filter towards her lips and she shook her head leaning closer. “No I want you to do it.”

Grabbing her chin slowly he blew smoke in her mouth watching as she inhaled, leaning her head back and exhaled. He licked his lips gripping her thigh. “Fuck you’re gonna drive me insane woman.”

She giggled before kissing him. “I gotta get a shower then I’m taking you to bed because we don’t have to get up tomorrow.”

Getting up she went to clean up from dinner but he shook his head. “I got it, go get your shower.”

She smiled at him giving him a kiss before heading into the bathroom.

When she got out he was at the sink brushing his teeth in his underwear. Kissing his back she did the same thing standing there in her towel feeling his eyes on her after he spit his mouthwash. She finished looking at him with a grin. “What?”

“Just lookin’ at you.”

As she combed through her hair he still just stood there watching her. Her wrists were dry and so were her ankles. “Where’s that ointment you used on my wrists?”

He grabbed it off the counter and held it. “C’mon. I’ll do it.” In the bedroom still in a towel he nodded towards the bed. “Sit.”

She sat on the edge and he knelt down to do her ankles as if he already knew they were bothering her. Strong hands and scarred knuckles were so gentle while she watched him. “You’re so beautiful.”

He grinned looking up at her. “I wanna show you somethin’ tomorrow.”

“What is it?”

“Place I’d take the dog while you were gone. She likes it, I think you will too.”

Looking at Lily lying on the floor she grinned. “I can’t believe how grey she is now. Shes been with you longer than she’s been with me.”

He shook his head. “Not by choice Genevieve.”

“This December she’ll be ten.” Thinking of the time she was gone she spoke. “Did you take her to the vet?”

“Just for checkups and shots. She’s perfectly healthy. Maybe a little heavier than she should be but..”

“Hm I wonder why.” He grinned kissing her knee and stood to do her wrists. “What was it like for you both after?”

He let go of a heavy exhale through his nose. “It wasn’t easy but we made it through.”

Her eyes wandered over him seeing there was not an ounce of fat on him, he was nothing but muscle with skin stretched overtop. When she said he was beautiful she meant every word every time she said it. Once he was finished he kissed the back of her hands and leaned down kissing her. “Thank you.”

He kissed her forehead. “You’re welcome.”

After washing his hands he came back climbing in bed with her calling the dog up. Lying on the other side of her she rested her huge head over her stomach looking at him. He chuckled scratching behind her ear. “Good girl Miss Lily.”

Looking at the beautiful animal with yellow eyes that’d been her only companion she could trust since Maria died she grinned. “My beautiful girl. I’m so grateful for you, did you know that? Hm? You were all I had for a long time and you were all he had for a long time. I’m thankful we have you.”

She moved up licking her face before sneaking between both of them making him laugh. “She’s a good girl.”

“Yes she is. Mamas baby.” Cuddling up to her back she kissed her head. “But you’re the one she has wrapped around her paw.”

He chuckled. “Can I kiss your mama hm? Don’t bite my face off.”

“She wouldn’t do that to you.”

She lifted her head touching his jaw as he kissed her gently before lying on his side facing her. When he realized he couldn’t cuddle her because of where the dog was he sighed. “I’m glad you’re comfortable Lily.”

She laughed at his jealousy. “You can cuddle her too. Or spoon me.” He looked at her and she knew he didn’t have the heart to move the dog so she climbed over her wedging herself between them. When she tried to move the dog over it was harder than she thought. “Jesus christ Lilith he’s made you fat..”

“I did not.”

“You did so! I can hardly move her.”

He curled up behind her chuckling as she held onto the dog. “Maybe just a little bit.”

She smiled to herself feeling him kiss her shoulder getting comfortable with his arm around her. “This is my favorite place in the world.”

“What? In bed?”

“Between you and her. I’ve never felt more safe in my whole life.”

He kissed the back of her head. “Get some sleep baby.”

“You first.”

March 24th 2001. Saturday.

In his truck he drove towards the port in Baton Rouge but took a dirt road that led them right to the river. No one else was back there, it was quiet, and the weather was nice. He backed in getting out to pop the tailgate down. Both of them sitting on it she lit a cigarette the same time he did. “How’d you find this place?”

“Found it on accident actually. Had to turn around, took the dirt road. Brought her here to take a walk one day and she liked watching the boats go by. Didn’t want nothin’ to do with her ball she just laid in the grass and watched the water just like she is now.” Looking at Lily doing exactly that she smiled to herself. It didn’t surprise her at all that he took her on walks while she was gone, he had kept his promise when it came to taking care of her. “I always wondered if she was lookin’ for you. Or if she blamed me for not being able to see you anymore.”

She looked at him. “It wasn’t your fault Rust.” He didn’t say anything as he pulled on his cigarette. “Did you go back to the service road?”

“Once. Didn’t feel right without you.” She sighed quietly. “Had a feelin’ you’d like it here though.”

Lying on her back on the tailgate she rested her head in his lap turning her head to look at the water. “This world is so beautiful it makes me wonder how there can be so much ugliness existing at the same time.”

He went quiet brushing the hair from her face before resting his hand on her stomach. “There is. But you haven’t let it ruin you.”

She looked up at him and he touched her face gently with the back of his knuckles. “Neither have you.”

She leaned into his hand closing her eyes with a grin on her face loving the feeling of him touching her. He chuckled. “Look at the dog.”

Turning her head she sat up with a smile seeing a cargo ship going by and Lily standing wagging her butt watching. “What is that beautiful girl?” She looked back as if to make sure she could see clearly and he chuckled. Leaning against his arm she grabbed his hand. “Thank you.”

He kissed her head and she lifted her lips to him where he kissed her before putting his arm around her. “Before we carried them kids out, I met with Ledoux’s cousin and he said somethin’. He said he could see my soul at the edges of my eyes.. that it was corrosive like acid. That I had a demon or a shadow on me.”

She looked at him as he pulled on his cigarette. “You think it’s true don’t you?”

He looked out over the water. “Can’t help but wonder sometimes.”

She shook her head. “We’re not so different, you and I. We both spent a majority of our lives being used and passed around like an object.”

“How do you mean?”

“As a child you were passed around from your mother to your father. As an adult because of your job, maybe not so much now but, you’ve had people pass you around. What you told me about narcotics how they’d put you here and there, the things you had to do.. you might not’ve minded so much not being sober but I know that feeling. Feels like you’re on a leash being forced to go and do whatever the hand on the other end tells you. Like you’re at the disposal of everyone else and you aren’t your own person.” She looked at him running a hand through his hair down to the back of his neck. “You’re good at what you do but I know that’s not a good feeling and I’m sorry. I’m sorry no one looked at you and just saw you, not what you could do to benefit them. All I can do is promise that I won’t ever put you in that position or make you feel used. If what he said about your soul is true, which I don’t think it is, I wonder what the hell he’d say about mine.”

Kissing his cheek hopping down off the tailgate into the grass she toed her shoes off leaving them before taking her socks off. “The hell you doin’?”

“I wanna feel the water.”

“Why?”

She smiled. “Because I can and no one will stop me. C’mon beautiful girl, you wanna see the water?”

The closer she got she realized it was an old forgotten boat ramp, paved down into the water. Close enough to the port where gators wouldn’t bother to go thanks to the boat traffic she put her feet in watching Lily do the same thing. She giggled when she sniffed the water and got her nose wet halfway sneezing. In up to her ankles since she was wearing shorts she listening to the water moving slowly, the hiss of the high overgrown grass, and the life all around her making noise. The sun was warm and she was free. Closing her eyes she tilted her head up towards the sky smiling to herself. If she trusted it she would’ve just swam in but heard his footfalls behind her where it was dry. She turned over her shoulder still smiling as he grinned in amusement. “What?”

He shook his head. “Just lookin’ at ya. You’re beautiful.”

Making her way over to him she put both hands on his palm to palm lifting them looking up. “Do you wanna know what I see when I look at your eyes? I see the ocean I ran south for when I left hell. It wasn’t some warm sandy beach, it was you.” Taking a moment to study her he put his hands on her face tilting it up and kissing her before resting his forehead on hers. She nudged her nose against his cheek making him smile like she hoped he would. “I see you Rust. I haven’t been able to look away since. Believe me?”

He nodded. “Yeah. Yeah I do.”

She kissed him giggling against his lips. “You hungry?”

She shrugged. “I could eat.”

“C’mon, hop on.”

Turning around she paused. “What?”

“Get on, I’ll give you a piggyback ride.” She just stood there and he turned back to face her. “You don’t know what that is do you?”

She shook her head and he must’ve read her emotion on her face because he pulled her into his chest hugging her. Little moments like this reminded her she had the furthest thing from a conventional childhood and that was being generous in terms of description. “Normal kids know what that is but I’m 26..”

He put his hands on the side of her head tilting her gaze up as he pulled back. “I wasn’t a normal kid either Genevieve. Christ I told you I didn’t watch TV until I was 17.”

She managed a grin. “Oh my god we really are fuckin’ aliens.”

He laughed making her smile before kissing her. “Now hop on lil sure shot.” He turned back around and knelt slightly. She jumped on his back wrapping her arms around him while he held behind her knees whistling to the dog. “Let’s go Miss Lily.”

“You better not drop me lone star.”

“Never I promise.”

Kissing his cheek she smiled resting her head on him. He set her on the tailgate so she could put her shoes back on as he helped the dog get in the truck. The passenger door was open with him waiting for her to get in. “Where are we going?”

“Get somethin’ to eat.”

Slapping her ass as she climbed in she giggled pulling him into a kiss before he could shut the door.

For lunch they ate at a little place at an outdoor picnic table where the dog begged at his feet of course. He ordered a hamburger with nothing on it to break off little pieces to feed to her. It was nice to just be with him whether they were talking or not, she enjoyed his company. Back at the house she ran a bath and soaked since she hadn’t done that in a while. “Rust?”

He responded from the other room. “Yeah?” A few seconds later he stood in the doorway. “What’s wrong?”

“Can you sit with me?”

He nodded coming in leaning down kissing her head. “You alright?” She nodded as he sat down on the floor leaning against cabinet under the sink. When she didn’t talk she felt his eyes on her as she stared at the faucet. “What is it baby? Talk to me.”

She sighed and spoke. “The conclaves.. He would tell me all the time he did it because he loved me, it was all because he loved me so much he wanted me to be saved. For a long time I thought that’s what love was. It was fear, pain, anger.” Turning her head as she was still leaned back in the bath she looked at him. “That was my shadow. For a long long time that was my demon. I guess it still is in some ways.”

His voice was soft when he spoke. “What brought this on?”

“Just thinking. I guess it just comes up sometimes.. somedays are better than others.” She swallowed shaking her head sighing as she closed her eyes facing the ceiling. “Whenever I think about it now I just get angry for the most part. Sometimes sad but mostly angry. Sad for the little girl that never had a chance and angry for the woman left behind to deal with all the shit they did. I’m somehow both at the same time.”

Hearing him move she opened her eyes as he reached down grabbing her hand not caring it was wet. “Can you do somethin’ for me?”

She nodded. “If I ever do anything that makes you uncomfortable, anything you don’t like that takes you back to that place, you tell me.” She nodded. “Promise me.”

“I promise. I trust you Rust. I know you’d never hurt me.”

He kissed her hand before leaning closer whispering. “C’mere.” Kissing her gently touching her face she couldn’t help but grin. It morphed into a smile before licking over his lips to the tip of his nose making him chuckle. “I had a good day today.”

She nodded as he brushed her hair from her face with a smile. “Me too.”

“Thank you.”

She looked at him. “You don’t have to thank me but thank you.”

“For what?”

“For a good day, being nice to me and the dog, calling me baby because it makes me smile.”

He chuckled. “I’d do anything just to see you smile baby.”

Sure enough she smiled and giggled kissing him again. “I believe you.”

“Can you do somethin’ for me?” She nodded. “As much as I love seeing you laid up in this tub naked and wet why don’t you get outta here and play me somethin’?”

“Piano or guitar?”

“Guitar.”

“Hand me my towel please?”

He did and she stood letting him wrap it around her. After putting on a t-shirt and panties on the couch she grabbed her guitar as he sat next to her lighting a cigarette. “Whatdya wanna hear?”

“Something you like to play, something that makes you smile.”

“Let’s see if you can guess.”

He chuckled. “Alright.” When she started to play his eyes seemed to touch her skin the same way his hands could but she didn’t waver. Even after all the time they spent apart his gaze still didn’t hurt and if she were honest, she didn’t think it ever would. After the first few cords he spoke. “Neil Young.”

She smiled looked at him. “What song?”

“Harvest Moon.”

She couldn’t help but giggle before she sang it for him. Looking at him he simply stared back with that smirk she loved so much. She was about to ask him to say something but didn’t have to when he leaned over and kissed her. Grabbing her guitar he set it aside and pulled her against him with ease making her laugh. Looking up at him she saw his eyes, deep blue but soft. “Wanna take a nap?”

She grinned nodding before kissing him. “Cuddle me?”

He nodded and they both laid down on the couch, the dog joined them nestled behind their legs making her giggle. With the TV on but neither of them watching it, he held her after covering them with a blanket. “Let’s take a nap.”

She smirked. “Can’t remember the last time I took one of those.”

“Me neither.”

Kissing his chest she closed her eyes as he rubbed her back under her shirt.

Waking up she heard him in the kitchen. When she looked towards it she saw him there cooking and the dog lying on the floor watching him surely waiting for him to drop a piece of food. She grinned to herself wrapping the blanket around her. When he looked over and saw her awake he smirked. “Hey baby.”

“What are you doing lone star?”

“Making dinner. You hungry?” She nodded rubbing her eyes getting up bringing the blanket with her leaning against the counter. He came over and brushed her hair back. “Have a good nap?”

She nodded. “Did you?”

“Mhm.”

“Spaghetti?”

“That alright?”

She grinned. “Anything you cook is alright.”

He chuckled. “I wouldn’t go that far.” Kissing her she smiled looking up at him when he pulled back he was smiling. “You’re beautiful.”

She giggled hugging him wrapping the blanket around his midsection. He lifted her up on the counter kissing her again. “When did you get up?”

“Maybe 20 minutes ago.” He stood in front of her between her knees rubbing her thighs and she couldn’t help but bite her lip through a smile. “Don’t do that. You got no idea what that does to me.”

“I can’t help it.. I’m in love with your hands, Rustin Cohle.”

He leaned forward kissing her cheek down to her neck. “Yeah?”

“Mhm.”

Running them up over her tits feeling her hard nipples through her shirt he hummed in his throat. “They sure fuckin’ love you baby.” Squeezing both she moaned softly and he pulled himself away. “I don’t stop now dinner’s gonna get ruined.”

“Take a bite outta me, I’ll be your dinner.”

He groaned doing just that sinking his teeth gently into her neck. “Genevieve..”

She giggled kicking his ass lightly hopping down to set the table but it was already done making her moan. Feeding the dog they sat down to eat and she smiled. “Thank you, this is really good.”

“Kinda difficult to fuck up spaghetti.”

She shook her head. “You’d be surprised. I hated cooking when I was being taught but now it’s not so bad. It’s better when you have someone to share it with, cooking for yourself seems like too much work sometimes.”

He nodded. “I know what you mean.”

They ate in a comfortable silence before retiring back to the couch after she did the dishes which he insisted on helping with. Randomly he got up and came back from the bathroom with the ointment sitting back down. Looking at him he glanced at her wrists. “They’re bothering you, you keep rubbing them. C’mon, give em here.”

“I can do it.” He grabbed her pulling her into his lap making her laugh. “Rust..”

“Hush.”

She watched him as he did one wrist at a time. “Why are you so good to me?”

“Could ask you the same thing.”

“Tell me.”

He took a deep breath and exhaled through his nose before answering. “You’ve spent long enough looking after yourself Genevieve. You deserve it. I’m gentle with you the same way you are with me.”

“But why?”

He looked at her gently massaging her wrist. “Because I know your gentleness doesn’t come from the lack of violence, it comes from the abundance of it. You could’ve easily become just like the pieces of shit who gave you these scars but you didn’t. And for some reason you look at me and see something that makes you smile. I know you feel like you don’t deserve it because I feel the same way about you. You’re the most beautifully fitting punishment for a monster like me. I want you and I have you but I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I will never deserve you.”

He was right, she did feel the same way, despite not wanting to. Putting a hand on his face she looked at him and those beautiful blue eyes remembering what he said to her after the first time they slept together. She grabbed his hand putting it on her chest over her heart. “Tell me what you feel.”

“Your heartbeat. It’s fast.”

Putting a hand on his face she searched his eyes. “Deserve has nothing to do with it. I’m yours whether you want me or not Rust, same as you said. Believe me?”

He nodded answering at a whisper. “Yeah I do. I think we both started somethin’ we couldn’t stop if we wanted to.”

She smiled with a nod. “You’re not wrong.”

He sat forward sliding his hand from her chest to her neck kissing her. Not caring about the ointment she put her arms around his shoulders feeling him smile back. Putting his other arm around her waist he stood carrying her to the bedroom lying her on the bed and she giggled the same time he smiled with a chuckle. She pulled at his shirt and he reached behind him yanking it off like he was desperate to expose his bare skin to her. Eager hands ran over his chest the same time her tongue teased at his lips. He took off her shirt kissing her welcoming her tongue but soon moved to her neck, teeth grazing over her pulse point pulling a whimper from her. His attention lingered on her tits squeezing and sucking at her nipples while she pushed his hair from his face.

“Fuck Rust you’re so fucking beautiful.”

He chuckled moving lower down her stomach pulling her panties down until they were also discarded on the floor. “Me? Look at you..”

When he settled his mouth between her legs she watched his eyes flutter closed while he took a breath in through his nose and groaned with his eyebrows furrowed. He spoke against her. “You taste so fucking good.”

Her lips parted through a smile as she moaned reaching for his hair. As if he didn’t just eat, he devoured her like a man starved for years just being offered a five course meal. She couldn’t even formulate words once his fingers found their way inside her just noises she made only for him. Entirely too fast he had her writhing and falling apart at his mercy only lifting his head once her orgasm forced her thighs to close against his head. Before he could make his way back up she sat up on her knees with both hands on his face kissing him. His fumbling hands undid his jeans while he slid his tongue in her mouth making her giggle. “I taste good on you.”

Smiling back at her she turned pushing him so he was flat on his back. She leaning over him kissing him biting his bottom lip gently. “The fuckin’ man you are Rustin Cohle. You drive me insane.. my turn.”

He chuckled lifting his hips so she could pull down his jeans and underwear. Her hair fell down in a curtain as she leaned down kissing his muscle covered stomach but he gathered it with his hands watching her. “This hair.. god you’re perfect. You ever need me immediately weak for you just take down your fuckin’ hair.”

Looking up at him as she drug her tongue from the base to tip smiling when he rolled his eyes back briefly opening his mouth. When she took him in her mouth he groaned throwing his head back against the pillows. “Ugh fuck..”

She took her time completely enjoying that she could please him this way and he trusted her enough to do it. Grunting from his throat when she wrapped a hand around him stroking at the same time he stroked his thumb over her jaw. “Fuck go easy on me baby, you feel too fuckin’ good.” She couldn’t help but moan around him before swirling her tongue as she sucked and that made him moan back. Needing to feel him inside her she straddled him reaching down where he slid right in as she sat slowly. He hissed through his teeth before whispering. “Fuck..”

Her head tilted back with a whimper pressing her palms into his chest. “Look at me.” She couldn’t open her heavy lidded eyes at how good it felt so he clicked his tongue. “Give me those eyes beautiful, c’mon.” When she did she bit her lip through a moan and he smiled back. “There ya go. You like that don’t ya hm?”

She nodded with a giggle. “Mhm.”

He reached a hand up touching her face with his other hand grabbing at her tit. “Show me how much you like it baby. Lemme see.” His thumb touched her bottom lip and she opened her mouth sucking on it holding his eyes as she started to move. “That’s it, atta girl. Atta fuckin’ girl. How’s that feel?”

Holding onto his wrist wanting to keep his hand there she spoke. “So fucking good. I love having you inside me..”

He groaned and she moved the fingers that were inside her into her mouth sucking on them. “Jesus christ Genevieve.” With his free hand he reached between them circling her clit with his thumb that had her crying out. “Ats it, I wanna feel that pretty pussy cum for me. Don’t you stop till you do ya hear me?” With one hand on his chest and his wrist in the other she focused on how she moved her hips as she nodded. Between that and the constant pressure of his thumb it didn’t take long at all to have her crying out in a falsetto. When her orgasm took control and she started to lean forward he put his hand on her neck sitting up to hold her. Kissing her she held his wrist liking the way his hand felt on her throat because she knew he would never hurt her. “I’m sorry, I..”

She shook her head. “No I like it, don’t stop.”

Looking at her surprised he kissed her harder rolling her over onto her back. He got off the bed and grabbed her legs pulling her hips to the edge of the mattress making her laugh as he leaned down over her. When her hands slid over his chest into his hair scratching his scalp he hummed against her lips. “Is this okay?”

She nodded and giggled looking up at him after licking over his lips to the tip of his nose. He smiled reaching down putting himself back inside her with a whimper before moaning into her mouth. “If it’s too much tell me alright?” They looked at one another savoring the feeling of how it felt to come together. He kissed her. “Lift your legs up for me, there ya go just like that baby.” Gentle hands rested on her thighs after guiding her ankles to his shoulders kissing the inside of the left one. When he leaned forward slightly she could feel the angle he entered her was deep, deliberate, making her feel so full she gasped. “You okay?”

She nodded holding his hand that he put on her face. “You feel so fucking good Rust oh my fucking god.”

Putting his thumb in her mouth he went slow watching her react running his other hand over her tits. She glanced down seeing him slowly slide in and out of her, he smirked. “You like the way that looks hm? Me inside you?”

She nodded biting her bottom lip whimpering. “Mhm.. I love it.”

Running her hand down the front of him he looked down for himself as he did it again. “Fuck Genevieve you feel so good. Better than any fuckin’ drug I’ve ever done.” Her back arched when he did it slow with a guttural groan. “Look at me.” She looked up at him as he grabbed a hold of her hair at the base of her neck with both hands he drove himself all the way inside her harder making her cry out and grip his wrists. “Can you take that baby?”

She nodded vigorously whimpering her answer. “More, give me more.” Clenching his jaw he did it again harder with a grunt forcing her eyebrows to furrow. “Fuck yes just like that.”

He did it again moaning as her eyes rolled back. “Keep those beautiful eyes on me.” She met them again and he grinned. “‘Ats my girl, atta girl baby. Keep em on me.” Doing as he said she watched the pleasure on his face in awe at how gorgeous he was. In pleasure, blissful unawareness of his brain, he was ethereal not being tormented by his thoughts. She felt grateful she was able to give this solace to him.

Grabbing his hand she moved it to her neck making him pause. “You sure?”

She nodded. “Yes. Please Rust I want all of you, give me everything please.”

With one hand on her neck and the other on the back of her head in her hair he spoke through heavy breaths. “You have all of me Genevieve. Every last fuckin inch.” She couldn’t help but smile and he did it back before moving replacing their smiles with open mouthed yearning. Their bodies climbing higher together as he moved with more force and intensity. He was coming apart, losing control, and she was glad because she could feel her body giving in to the release crawling down her spine. “Fuck baby I’m gettin’ close. So fuckin’ close cause you feel too god damn good god dammit son of a bitch!” The last expletive was spoken through gritted teeth before his hissed through them. Gripping his wrist she pleaded with her eyes. “You gonna cum for me?”

She nodded. “Yes don’t stop, please Rust don’t fuckin stop..”

A desperate sound crawled up his throat when she started to tighten around him. “Ugh god yes.. Fuck! I’m gonna cum.”

She nodded ignoring the shaking of her legs. “Cum inside me. Fill me I wanna feel you.”

His eyes rolled back as he pounded into her ruthlessly making the most beautiful noises while she succumbed to her body’s will under him. When he drove deep inside her and didn’t pull out again she felt him twitch, his cock throbbing and pulsing inside her. He moved her legs from his shoulders before leaning down kissing her so deep as if she held pure oxygen in her mouth. Wrapping her legs around him they were both shaking but she ran her hands down his back resting them on his ass pulling him in never wanting to let him go. He smoothed her hair down gently resting his palm on her face while they stayed like that kissing completely ignoring their need for breath.

When he finally did lift himself up enough to rest his forehead on hers his eyes were still closed. “You alright?”

She nodded resting her hand on his face she stroked her thumb over his cheekbone kissing the tip of his nose making him grin. She giggled seeing it and that made him open his eyes. He shook his head slowly.

“What?”

“You’re so beautiful. Your eyes change, just like the northern lights.”

“You sayin’ I live up to an Alaskan night sky?”

He shook his head. “You run fuckin’ circles around it, Genevieve. Kiss me.”

She smiled and did exactly that pushing his hair back from his face kissing to his neck. “I want you inside me forever.”

He chuckled. “We gotta get a shower.” Still inside her he stood making her laugh carrying her to the bathroom setting her on the vanity kissing her before stepping back pulling out of her with a groan. He looked down where she felt him dripping from her. Putting her heel on the sink reaching her fingers inside only to bring them out and lick them clean looking at him, he clenched his jaw and furrowed his brows. “Fuck baby..”

She giggled as he started the shower his cock bobbing slightly. “Are you wrapped around my finger yet?”

He chuckled shaking his head nodding to the open door. “Feel that and get in the damn shower.”

Hopping down she put her hand under the water and she stepped in giggling as he slapped her ass before following her in. “Is that a yes?”

He smiled shaking his head. “You lil fuckin’ brat. C’mere.”

“Yes or no?”

“Stop talking and kiss me.”

She couldn’t help but laugh wrapping her arms around his neck. Before they got out he fucked her again with her back against the wall holding her up and after he washed her as if she were a porcelain doll.

In bed with her head on his chest and the dog behind her she looked at the freckles scattered across his skin. He traced his fingertips over her bicep gently with his cheek rested against her head. “Do you remember when I told you what they did after he got me pregnant?”

“Mhm.”

“I think I died when they did that.”

His hand stilled. “Whatdya mean?”

“I guess I blacked out from the pain. It was all black, like a void with no sound, no sight, no smell. There was nothing and I was slowly becoming not myself. Like how dust gets blown into the wind and just disappears. In that place nothing mattered. I wasn’t worried about who I was, what I wanted to be, what was happening or had happened, what the future held, it didn’t matter in that place. There what makes us us is primitive. I was totally alone.. and I didn’t like it.” Looking up at him she grinned. “I meant when I said when I told you I’d find you there. I’d wait for you. No matter what happens. And maybe if we’re lucky we’ll eventually get to become stars.”

He grinned moving her hair from her forehead whispering to her. “I’m grateful for whatever time I have with you. You’re the first thing I’ve been grateful for in a long long time.” Kissing her gently she felt him smile when she put her hand on his face. Looking at his eyes she smiled with a giggle. “What?”

“They’re beautiful. The ocean I ran for.”

He kissed her forehead resting her head back down. “Get some sleep Genevieve.”

“You first.”

He chuckled and she grinned closing her eyes.

March 25th 2001. Sunday.

Before she even opened her eyes she knew it was late and they both slept in. His arm was under her pillow and she grinned kissing the inside of his wrist. Feeling his hand sliding over her waist he pulled her back against him where she felt his cock hard and flexing. She smiled to herself grabbing his hand from her waist sliding it up to her neck loving the way he encapsulated the entirety of her throat. Kissing her neck behind her ear she licked her lips pursing them through a hum. Instinctively her hips moved while pressing back against him making him groan and curse at a whisper. “Fuck..”

Gently nipping at her earlobe she whimpered. The hand under her pillow moved to her throat while his other hand gripped at her hip so he could grind against her as she moved. Clutching at his wrist they were both still naked and feverish for one another. “Look at these fuckin’ hips.. god damn. These dimples on your lower back where I can put my thumbs. Christ you’re perfect.” He gripped at her ass before sliding his hand between her legs teasing her. Her eyes rolled back and she whined softly. “You’re soaked.”

“You’re hard.” Turning her head she looked at him pleading with her eyes. “I need you.”

She reached back grabbing his cock, he grunted before taking her hand off and pushing her leg up slightly. “Arch your back for me baby, there ya go.. just like that.”

She was already doing exactly what he said as if her body sought him out and knew the easiest way to achieve that goal. He guided himself in pushing his hips up into her letting out a long drawn out moan. “Jesus christ you feel so good.” Reaching her hand back she put her fingers in his hair as he kissed her neck rocking her hips the same time he moved his own.

Her eyes rolled back and she whimpered his name in the most desperate tone it sounded like a cry. “Rust..”

“Give me your eyes. Look at me c’mon.” Looking at him his forehead was right against hers and those deep blues looked back at her with a smile. “You’re so fuckin’ beautiful Genevieve.”

He kissed her deep his tongue was possessive in her mouth claiming whatever it could reach. Moaning into her mouth his brows furrowed speaking against her lips. “Fuck I can’t fuckin’ take how fucking good you feel wrapped around me. I’m gonna lose my damn mind being inside you. How am I supposed to last when you feel like this?”

She put her hand on his face wanting his lips feeling like she needed them to breathe. He obliged gripping at her tits while he started to focus more on the movement of his hips. Matching his rhythm that was slow and deliberate they were stuck in a trap of pleasure somewhere between wanting to indulge their carnal urges and savor the sensations by drawing them out as long as possible. “Oh my god Rust yes.”

“Open your mouth baby.” She did and he stuck his fingers inside staring when her lips wrapped around them. “Keep those beautiful eyes on me.” Taking them from her mouth he watched her as he slowly slid his hand between her legs teasing her clit. She fought the urge to close them but let them roll before focusing on him. “How’s that feel?”

Nodding as she bit her lip she whimpered. “Please don’t stop.”

“I won’t baby I promise, just keep lookin’ at me. I wanna see how good I make you feel.” Her hips bucked slightly grinding making him grunt through gritted teeth. “Jesus fucking christ that feels so fucking good, keep doing that.”

She did gripping his hair in her fist while he applied more pressure to her clit thrusting his hips at the same time. “Mhmm.. There ya go, atta girl baby just like that.” His eye contact was so intense she felt it on every inch of her skin. “You have no idea what you do to me, no fucking clue. Ugh god..” Seeing his eyes flutter knowing she had the same effect on him that he did on her dizzied her.

When she cried out for him moaning his name he nodded. “I know, I gotcha..”

“I’m gonna cum.”

“Do it. Cum for me c’mon.”

The second she started to tighten as her orgasm worked its way from the base of her spine radiating to her toes and head he watched in awe. “Atta girl. Good girl baby.” Fucking her through it even as her legs shook and she still fisted his hair tight, his grip on her hip tightened. He held her eyes chasing his own release as she clenched around him. “I’m so close I’m so fucking close.”

Watching him come apart for her was the most beautiful thing she’d ever seen or would ever see. His hair out of place slightly hanging over his forehead, the desperation in his eyes, and the absolute need for a high he found in her body was addicting to watch. “Cum for me, please baby I need it. Give it to me..”

Hearing her beg and call him baby must’ve been what sent him over the edge because he tumbled down just as carelessly as she had clutching onto her like a lifeline. High pitch whines escaped his lips against hers and he jolted with spasms until he stilled completely resting his forehead against hers. Letting go of her hip he smoothed her hair down kissing her cradling her jaw in his hand. He was so gentle and she wanted to turn around to hold him but the desire to keep him inside her was stronger. When he looked at her his eyes almost looked glassy but he grinned making her smile before kissing her again. Adjusting he pulled her back flush with his chest kissing her neck resting his chin over her shoulder lacing his fingers with hers. A heavy sigh came from him.

“I guess we aren’t getting up?”

“Un-uh. This pussy of yours sendin’ me right back to sleep.” She giggled closing her eyes feeling him smile as he kissed her cheek but she turned her head to kiss his lips. Looking at him he pushed her hair from her face. “You’re a dream I don’t wanna wake up from Genevieve.”

“I’m real. I’m here and I’m yours.”

She smiled and he kissed her again nudging his nose against hers where she licked the tip of it making him chuckle. “Helluva thing to hear that.”

“What?”

“That you’re mine.”

“I am.” He smiled revealing those dimples that a handful of people had only ever seen in his lifetime before lying down and getting comfortable again. “Rust?”

“Hm?”

“You wrapped around my finger yet?”

He chuckled from deep in his chest kissing her head. “Shut up.”

“That a yes?”

“You have no fuckin’ idea.”

She smiled to herself and together they drifted back off to sleep.

They were eating dinner when she realized what day it was after he mentioned it in conversation. He noticed her freeze and stop eating. “What’s wrong?”

“Today’s Maria’s birthday.”

He paused with a nod. “Well the sun’s still up. Where is she?”

“Saint Pierre by the river.”

“We’ll go after we eat and bring her flowers.”

"Are you sure?"

He nodded. She grinned at him and he stared back. “What?”

“You’re sweet.”

He scoffed. “I’ve been called many things and sweet I don’t think has ever been one of em.”

“Well you are.”

Grinning across the table he pointed with his fork. “Only to you.” She got up and straddled him sitting in his lap kissing his forehead before resting her head on his shoulder. He chuckled rubbing her back setting his fork down so he could hold her with both hands. “You okay?”

She nodded not lifting her head. “I’m so lucky to have you. I haven’t been lucky since I met Maddy, Maria, and Lily.”

Kissing the side of her head he patted her ass. “C’mon. Finish your food so we can go.”

They had stopped at the grocery store and picked up fresh flowers before driving to the cemetery with the dog. He helped Lily out of the truck since jumping up and down was getting harder for her as she got older. This cemetery was beautiful, old, and they were the only ones there let alone around. Near her grave that was above ground like most in Louisiana beside a very old weeping willow full of Spanish moss she stood. Setting the flowers down Lily sat beside her. “Say happy birthday to Miss Maria beautiful girl. If it wasn’t for her I would’ve never got to be your mama.” Rust stood behind her kissing her head with his hands on her shoulders, grabbing them she pulled his arms around her leaning back against him. “I met this guy. He saved me the same way you did and I think you’d really like him. He seems to like the recipes you taught me.”

He chuckled resting his head beside hers. “Mhm, that I do.”

She smiled. “For the first time since you found me I feel lucky. I wouldn’t be able to have found him if it weren’t for you so thank you.”

He kissed her cheek looking at Maria’s grave. “Thank you isn’t a strong enough word. I hear that often but..” She giggled and he smiled. “Thank you.”

Looking at her pushing her hair from her face he spoke. “I’ll look after her no matter what. I promise.”

She closed her eyes and leaned into his hand more grateful for him than the breath in her lungs. He kissed her forehead pulling her into his chest. Looking towards the water the sunset made the sky appear a burnt orange color as the sparrows swooped down snatching bugs from the air. She smiled hearing his heartbeat under her ear feeling safe even surrounded by death. “That’s so beautiful.”

He turned his head resting his chin on top of her head with a heavy exhale. “Not as beautiful as you.” Looking up at him he smiled before turning his back to her. “Hop on, let’s go see the water.”

On his back he walked with the dog hurrying over excited to see it while her arms were around him. When he put her down they sat in the grass, he lit a cigarette, and she cradled her knees to her chest looking at him. He looked at her and grinned. “What?”

“What’s the first thing you liked about me?” He chuckled which made her smile. “Tell me.”

Taking a long drag on his cigarette smoke escaped his lips as he spoke. “Aside from how beautiful you were, you didn’t bullshit. You’re honest about who you are, what you been through, good and bad for both. You knew who you were.”

She grinned turning her gaze towards the water. “Sometimes it feels like I have no idea who I am.”

“I can imagine. You survived what would put most grown men in the psych ward for the rest of their lives.”

Remembering Maria, all the things she taught her, and the family she found in one woman that wasn’t her mother she missed her. “She knew she was dying. She had made peace with it.” Smiling to herself remembering the conversation that should’ve been heavy, Maria made it the opposite. “It was almost like she was excited.. called it her journey. She said her parents would be there to show her the way so I shouldn’t worry but I did anyway. Whenever I would get sad about the idea of her not being here anymore she would always say the same thing. She would say grief is love with nowhere to go. That it comes out in different ways once you lose someone.”

He looked out over the water and was quiet for a moment. “Do you think that’s true?”

“In a way. But I think sometimes grief can be so strong we don’t know what to do with all of it. It almost paralyzes you and the only thing you can do is shut down. It comes in waves, at the most random times, and it feels impossible not to feel it. Sometimes I’ll see something, hear or smell something that reminds me of Maddy or Maria.”

He spoke after a moment. “Texas bluebonnets. Haven’t seen em in a while but when I do I always think of Sofia. We had a patch of em that grew in the yard and she loved them.”

Looking at him he didn’t met her eyes and she knew why. “You were a good father. I know it.” When he did look at her she grinned gently. “And I bet that babygirl loved you like you hung the stars just for her. Bluebonnets probably reminded her of your eyes.”

He clenched his jaw and nodded looking down at his hands. Lily came over to her and licked her face making her smile. “Thank you baby. I love you too. Yes thank you so much.” When she glanced over at him he was just staring. “What?”

He shook his head. “Just lookin’ at you.” Lifting her chin with a sly grin she arched an eyebrow. “And?”

“I feel lucky you’re here, lucky I’m here with you.”

Leaning against him she rested her head on his shoulder holding onto his arm. “I know what you mean.”

He kissed the top of her head and she didn’t think it was possible for anyone to be this happy at a cemetery despite them both sitting silently with their unspoken grief. That grief was sacred, kept so close to the heart anyone close enough was a danger, a personal Holy Spirit prayed to at night. If they listened hard enough maybe it would’ve been possible their ghosts could be heard in the whisper of the Spanish moss.

Chapter 16 is here!

[woundedwhitewolf]

DETECTIVE RUST COHLE, from TRUE DETECTIVE 1.02 “Seeing Things”