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i love those blinking red lights they put on top of radio towers and windmills and skyscrapers etc, theyre like electronic flowers or something to me

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Mr. Palmer-The Scientist

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Oh we posting old Cecil art?

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The other boy, we understand, was unharmed because he is a better boy and more loved by the angels.

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This is the balance that must be made between what we desire and what we fear, between pain and pleasure, between wheat, dear listeners, and its byproducts.

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The other boy, we understand, was unharmed because he is a better boy and more loved by the angels.

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If not for municipally-planned citizen sacrifice each quarter, how else would we find satisfactory meats to feed those sad, scrawny animals?

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Construction crews have tried building the bridge tower base supports from corrugated cardboard, non-dairy creamer, and ceramic bowls. Nothing has worked.

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Animal control is adressing these concerns through afterschool programs called Teach A Spider To Read: Stop The Madness.

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If you notice strange auras around any of the following objects in your house - blender, shower head, dog, husband, wife, table, chair, doorknob, baseboard, vacation souvenirs or photos, collectibles of any kind (especially those depicting or involving horses), DVDs (especially Cliffhanger, There's Something About Mary, and The Wire 4th season), and any bagged lettuce from California or Mexico - please report to the council for indefinite detention.

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Remember, this is America. Vote correctly, or never see your loved ones again.

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This Valentine’s Day, as all Valentine’s Days, will soon recede into painful memory, fading with time, until another foul Valentine’s Day is upon us again.

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Remember the slogan, "No Flag: Goes In The Bag. Red Flag: Run."

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Bezos and Musk are not good people

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Your daily shade of the sky forecast:

Monday: turquoise

Tuesday: taupe

Wednesday: robin's egg

Thursday: turquoise-taupe

Friday: coal dust

Saturday: coal dust with chances of indigo in the late afternoon

Sunday: void

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Remember, Gatorade is basically soda.