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I can't stop laughing, oh my god this stream might kill me, they're all so stupid ❤️

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So like. I don't know if there will be season three, I hope there is of course, but I really don't know how there can be. Or if not another season, another in between event like Passagem. I'm not just saying that cause I want more creators to come back for it again like Fit and Bad, though that's certainly a plus, it just like. Would give some kind of closure and explanation or something. Cause that was. It wasn't a bad ending, or it was, but not solely because of what they did, it was just, it felt fast. Oh yeah, good morning.

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Well. There we go I guess. And I have a lot of feelings I've been trying to figure out how to put into words.

Arkanis season finale was tonight. Season two but also maybe forever. This. Felt a lot more final to say the least. In more ways than one. I absolutely cried more than once btw. And I didn't hate it? I'm not mad at it? I'm just kinda confused? I'm not completely disregarding it. And never disregarding the team. Not rewriting it. I'm just not, hm, I don't wanna imagine some of the things happening the way they did. I guess. And that's okay.

This server was still one of the most fun and sometimes beautiful stories I've seen. I am endlessly proud of the team, all the creators, all the streamers, all the admins, all the fans. I am so honored to have found some of the creators I have and been welcomed into their communities, and made the friends I have and been part of this tiny but incredible group and fandom, and I'm not leaving any of it, I love you all a lot.

That aside, now I'm gonna get a little bit real, if that's okay. Pac said that he's gonna take a break from streaming. And he'll be back. He'll still be around on YouTube and Instagram and stuff. But for now streaming break is indefinite. And I'm. Um. Look, I know this is gonna sound parasocial, or maybe selfish, I know it, and I swear I don't mean for it to be, I'm sorry if it comes off that way, but hear me out, let me talk and feel things.

I know why he's taking a break, and I fully completely whole heartedly understand why he's doing it, I'm really sorry he feels like he has to. People suck sometimes, they're so unneedlessly cruel, and I don't get it. And he has so much anxiety and who knows what else is going on behind the screen and I hate that so much for him. But I don't know what I'm gonna do.

I have so much mental health stuff going on all the time, including major chronic anxiety I've had for years and years, but it's all been through the damn roof lately for one reason or another. And then he said that on stream and I lost it. I just absolutely sobbed. And it feels so silly to say that, it feels so stupid, it sounds parasocial. But this guy. A lot of you know he is my number one. One of the biggest sources of comfort I have ever had. He brings me so much joy, so much safety, helps keep me sane sometimes to be quite honest.

I know he's not going anywhere completely, I know it'll be fine, I know he needs this break and he deserves it so much and I'm so proud of him for doing this. But I'm allowed to be confused and heartbroken. I don't really know how to end this post, I guess just, thank you all for everything.

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I went back in the vod, and just wanted to show the lead up to what I reblogged earlier, because it's *gestures*

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The visceral reaction I just had

HHHHHHH

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Extremely important

Very important clip

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"Hey Mark?" "Yeah, what's up?" "How you saw?" Still lives in my head. I think about it (any many other moments) quite often.

Happy 5th Birthday to

“Ethan Finally Becomes a MAN”

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How dare these two look so epic (I hope they have the best time at MCR ever dude)

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Chap, I want you to know that these tags hit me like a fucking brick

apparently the especialistas were on the moon today (sure) and in araldo's factory (on the moon) there were various rooms allocated to various - but not all - especialistas (choke, guaxi, himaru, quel etc), all decorated accordingly but this was ak!pac's...

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What do you mean Cellbo is live on the alt out of absolutely nowhere and hasn't been live there for over a year and his main for like two months good morning?

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Fuck why is this minecraft SMP family tree so complicated and why must I chart it all??

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That's the thing isn't it. That's kinda what BBH did in QSMP, and that is not a complaint at all, I was a Ghostie main, but you know what I mean. Lukey makes a point. I truly loved that Bad logged on so much, even after everything. But it was definitely lonely, and at times it even felt a bit monotonous. I never wanted QSMP to end, I still don't like to believe that it ended really, the original anyway, but you know what I mean. It kind of got to that, what's the point, kind of thing

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"*Accidentally says* am I the- haha oh no- am I the bad guy? *people in chat stare* the worst part is that all of you knew what I was talking about, you got it" Lucas, we were (also) in the trenches

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He's baaaaaaaaaaaack

we are SO back

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Chatter: "Tell Tom 'it was never meant to be'"

Lukey: "The Inniter's have found the alt channel"

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"Directo en el 2013"

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incredible ak!pac and leo animatic dropped today btw!