xxvoldy-blog

[xxvoldy-blog]

“the perfect egg doesn’t exi-

[xxvoldy-blog]

day #394234105 and guess what? i’m still an egg

Easter is coming near. i asked my minions to paint some easter eggs for the yearly scavenger hunt, before they started they said if they could use my face for inspiration as it looked just like a painted easter egg.

i eggstremly hate Easter!

[xxvoldy-blog]

day #394234100 and guess what? i'm still an egg.

today I went shopping by myself...... I bought a carton of eggs cause i had run out at home and was sick of my minions telling me to use myself. When i opened the carton i saw a rotten egg #relatable. I’m crying now.

[xxvoldy-blog]

christmas is quite eggciting

dear diary,

today i started making eggnog, but i couldn’t find any eggs. lucius said i should just use myself instead, because i am basically an egg. i’m now crying while drinking terrible tasting nog. my blood tastes bad.

xx voldy

[xxvoldy-blog]

voldemort who has lots of snappy comebacks

voldretort

[xxvoldy-blog]

voldemort who spends his whole time doing origami

foldymort.

[xxvoldy-blog]

me and my mirror

mirror: you look very nice today.

me: thankyou.

mirror: so round, shiny, egg-like...

me: egGLIKE?

mirror: yeah, like a giant egg.

me: *breaks down sobbing*

[xxvoldy-blog]

if voldemort gets the flu

coldymort

[xxvoldy-blog]

i is like taking over the world. makes me feel peaceful. i can forget that i’m an egg. darn. i remembered. have to go cry now.

xx voldy

Me on my way to take over the world. 😈

[xxvoldy-blog]

i really do support gay people, you see. for instance, if draco decided to come out and tell me he was in love with harry potter... i’d be fine with it. draco might be disappointed when i finally killed potter, but i’d be fine with it.

xx voldy

[xxvoldy-blog]

Harry! I’d almost forgotten you were here, standing on the bones of my father. I’d introduce you, but rumor has it you’re almost as famous as me these days.

Lord Voldemort, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (written by J.K Rowling)

[xxvoldy-blog]

haha, i’m so good at making jokes. props to me for choosing such an eggcellent name.

xx voldy

(creds to the-real-jt, thanks buddy)

[xxvoldy-blog]

“the perfect egg doesn’t exi-

[xxvoldy-blog]

a conversation between me and one of my depressed followers

follower: voldy.

me: no.

follower: i just had a thought

me: stop.

follower: what do you think you'd be if you looked like benedict cumberbatch?

me: stOP

follower: EGGS BENEDICT

me: CURSE MY SCRAMBLED SOUL

[xxvoldy-blog]

day #394234099 and guess what? i'm an egg.

dear diary, today i saw a chicken sitting on eggs. i felt sorry for it, so i turned the chicken into a massive egg. now the chicken doesn't have to feel so left out :) xx voldy

[xxvoldy-blog]

i is actually a party egg. i love dressing up for parties. unfortunately, everyone always thinks i’m an egg, no matter what i try. i mean, come on. can’t i get through one day without crying?

xx voldy

[xxvoldy-blog]

day #394234098 of the armaeggdon

dear diary,

today i told my Death Eaters to make gingerbread men. instead, they made gingerbread eggs, because they apparently “represented me better”. now i am sitting in my room, crying, while eating a gingerbread-tasting lookalike. i taste yummy.

xx voldy