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the Sinner’s Prayer of may I not be found dead on the toilet, and if I am found dead on the toilet may I not be holding my phone, and if I am found dead on the toilet holding my phone may I at least have been reading something edifying and not composing a half-finished post as a ghastly conclusion to a life wasted.

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(x)

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genius. it creates energy clones of itself to gather resources, while the main body stays alert and safe. and if i attack, it can simply swap bodies with one of its clones

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Musk: [calling Grimes at 3 in the morning] Tell them. Tell them I'm good at video games and I will give you sixty million dollars

Grimes:

Musk: or I detonate the chip in the baby's neck

Grimes: [long exhalation] seventy million

I had to take this screenshot myself because I was so convinced it wasn't real

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had a shower to relax and just argued with myself in my head the whole time 😊💕

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he really liked standing on the mango

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i cant stop saying "grisp it"

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might fuck around and drink the daily recommended amount of water

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I am on the worst websites imaginable trying to acquire images that suck

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A perfect newborn leafcutter ant was recently born at a zoo but nobody cared because it wasn't a piece of shit hippo

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let’s groove tonight, share the spice of life

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